@@brinstar Not every woman that defends her sisters and empower them is a feminist. Feminism is originally a Western political and social movement(s). It has nothing to do with us, nor our way of advocating for women, the best who did that is actually the prophet himself pbuh. So what's you're problem? I think a lot of people that be commenting like this are not Muslims, but sent here by some organizations. I am really starting to think like this. Maybe you just don't know anything. Allah knows best!
@@teamislam7016 voting is Haram boy. In political Islam we've something called bay'ah;the oath of allegiance & done by everyone in public, not hiding it in a ballot box. That's Dajjal's dirty work from the West's Democracy. But the choosing of a leader is not for everyone, it's done by well-known & respected members in the society or a nation. Hope that answers ur whole debate😂✌️
Asalam alaikum. MashAllah regarding the discussion. InshaAllah in future videos I feel honing on the issues discussed in this video will highlight this dialogue further. For example, a brother or sister displaying narcissistic traits in their character has root causes from childhood, so it will be helpful if social media personalities in the muslim community raised more awareness in addressing our childhood traumas and the results of healing these traumas. Often we tend to hover over the issues once it arises, what we must do as a community is educate ourselves on the matters of childhood trauma and breakdown how we must heal and grow from this. As a guide, search these topics being covered by non muslims.
Exacellent Topic My father is still alive alhamdullilah but due to him being absent most of the time during my childhood, due to him committing himself to the deen(he's a moulana/Hafiz/alim) going away for weeks and weeks, we missed an opportunity to bond with each other. Now I'm in my 30s and my mother passed away I crave for unconditional love. This crave is not a void but it's an abyss - a deep dark pit. Without my father being present in my life I grew up self hating, turned to debauchery and all kinds of evil. I was unknowingly trying to fill a hole in my life. This hole which I recently discovered is "unconditional love". Every child needs a father in his life or a father figure, to guide him to mentor him. Without this, he will fall into every trap and end up living a broken reckless life. Brother thank you for shedding light on this. Much love
@@umerjavednisar He should be greateful for what he has because it's better than what a lot of others have, but it's still not good just because it's better. A father should not be absent from a child's life period.
Why would a father leave his child? That is not what a father should do. Once a man has a child he is to be a parent which means being there day to day. Certainly there are times when people leave for work but this should be limited.
Assalamu alaikum. I feel like there were a lot of interruptions being made while sister Naima was talking and cutting her off. Just food for thought. In sha allah that can be improved upon. Jazakumullahu khairan
I'm glad this was mentioned brothers been given a pass by other men in the community.I agree with brother hijab absent fathers and abusers need to be called out in our comminities.There is enabling of brothers in our community.
@It doesn't Matters women are put to account way more then men in our community ,if a sister became a absent mother and left her kids.What would the reaction be from the community?
I think women are also being inculcated by the new society also. By default they have too much expectation and they never take responsibility for their actions. So much is wrong with society now and it's poised us which in turn makes our relationships toxic.
Very interesting and true what she said in the beginning about the "imprisonment of the mind". Sad that I didn't even know about her. I am going to search about the 25 books that she wrote. Thank you brother Mohammed for this podcast!
Ma sha Allah TabarakAllah, a wonderful role model for our daughters and sisters. May Allah bless her and those like her who are serving the deen. Ameen
You mention 'father being out' in my situation my ex-wife isn't allowing my children to speak to me. She even went to the extent of making false allegations against me and my family. It isn't always the case the men walk away etc.
Ameen. It's not easy. I wouldn't put my enemy through this let alone another Muslim. The court system is gynocentric to the extent that even though I have a court order and all my Ex's allegations were thrown out, and £90,000 down from legal fees there's not much I can do. Not complaining as everything is from Allah is good InshaAllah.
That’s a different situation brother. Na’ima is talking about the fathers who get divorced from the mother and cut all ties with their children because of the divorce. In that case it’s a choice.
This kind of conversation opens up discourse for toxic productivity. The idea you arent allowed to be a normal Muslim. You have to be gigachad dawah person /entrepreneur or you failed. Being normal is ok, being below and above normal is also ok. Very good points Hijab towards the end.
Hello Lady convert. I bet they did not tell you about the breast suckling verses in the Islamic books before you converted, ha ha haaa. Islam IS an information control CULT and you sold your last two brain cells to it - - - If you are honest and do a deep dive into quran and hadiths, no honest person can follow it, it is so disgusting and so unbelievibly filthy...... I leave it to you to check it out. Apostate prophet on you tube gives a very good and balanced view of Islam and Christianity, and compares the two if them..... Alfadi and Jay Smith also give a very respactible and technical annalysis also.. Happy watching..
Salam aleikum, I loved sister Naimas take on things. May Allah bless her and bless Mohamed Hijab. Only issue is when you Mohamed Hijab constant keep interrupting her. It is quite impolite. We as listeners also want for her to finish her points. Specially since she is your senior as well, it is not good for you to cut her off so many times. InshAllah maybe this can be improved.
I am divorced recently and can relate to these issues from childhood. I have contact with my children a son 11 and daughter 9 everyday. I jave them 3 nights and alhumdulillah spend time with them in a productive manner. The way i see it is I bought them into this world so it's my responsibility placed upon me by allah of my children. Religion is used as a veil to hide behind to justify bad, irresponsible behaviour! I'm Muslim and try to instill iman health wealth, three core values into my children. Their time is organised according to these values when they're with me. Alhumdulillah I try to fulfill my role as best as I can. I can say that the community does not support people like me who have emotionally needed help after the breakup from a narcissistic relationship and that's because they are not educated enough! Some very interesting points bought up in this cast. I believe there are much deeper issues that need to be addressed. It was nice to hear a productive dialogue from Muslims. Jaizakallah khairan brother/sister for bringing this to light.
Thanks so much for A BALANCED CONVERSATION Much better than that 'Honest Tea Talk' channel wherein those 3 sisters discuss similar issues but almost always take a turn to being biased.
Walahi, i can't believe I'm listening to this, as a former widow and now divorcee I can relate to sister Na'eema .... weaponising children and intimacy, judging a potential partner by the way they look, I should be a case study!
This is why MAHR should be negotiated wisely before marriage. This is something from my own experience. Alhamdulillah. It's a blessing from Allah. You get time before making any decision foolishly. May Allah guide all the unmarried Muslims to choose the right spouse before marriage and bless us with patience after marriage. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, in the famous hadeeth: “Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5090), Muslim (1466)
اقسم بالله العظيم انه النسويه خصوصاً الي عند العرب هي قاعد تفكك اساس المجتمعات و الاسر... يا اخي جزاك الله الف مليون خير على نشر الخير الي قاعد تنشره تستاهل كل خير في طريقك
Loved Sr. Naima’s balanced approach, applying the Islamic lens instead of a feminist, or western ideal lens, Masha’Allah. She’s based, and I’m sure she’s been exposed to the manosphere. MH laughing at some of weaker males in the Muslim community who were held hostage by sex was funny. He couldn’t comprehend how a male could accept that position of weakness because of how strong he is, Masha’Allah. But then he discounted the idea of beta vs alpha. He needs to understand that there are several people of knowledge that are betas. They maybe high in the eyes of Allah ﷻ but they won’t be attractive/appealing to most women.
Men really need to quit that alpha and beta thing, it doesn’t exists not in wolfs not in lions not in humans its crazy why is this a thing? The whole wolf pack thing was debunked a long time ago
Very good to know women empowerment, she is very right self control and mental barriers, you should always think positive always try to succeed instead of failing and relax your mind by healing from divorce and depression. Thats very well explained, alhumdulilah.
I enjoyed this video , very important discussions . Brother Mohamed sometimes you like the sound of your voice too much though ! Let the sister talk lol
In case of divorce the children adopt a need of choice. The mother and father agree to arrange a time and day of contact. Then the child decides he/she does not want contact. They want to deattach them self from the whole issue.
I'd like to share a poem I wrote if that's ok with you. It's called "My Dear Father" My dear father, Your love is what I was always after. You dedicated your life to God Whilst you left me to carve out my own path. I've spent my whole life in the dark, I needed your spiritual light in my heart; But we ended up drifting further apart. Wish I could express how I feel inside - Been six years since my mum passed (away) And I've barely cried. My heart has turned to stone. I know that for all of us you try to be strong. I wish I could turn to you when I'm feeling alone. I envy the father and son bond. You spend your days reading the Quran, And nights asking the Lord for forgivness. Without your love I feel so damn helpless. My dear father, I know you don't understand me. I remain distant from the family. And I don't understand myself. Losing my sanity, I've drifted away deep into darkness. All the cold days and lonely nights I've spent It has made me become selfish and heartless. I remember 5 years old when you came to hug me, I ran the opposite way. This memory has Forever stuck with me. And I know it pains you, That I'm not in your life. I struggle from day to day just trying to survive. My dear father, I know you pray for me daily. But I need you to come and save me; In this life and In the hereafter, From the fire that burns eternally My dear father, Will you forgive me? Because I can't forgive myself, I dont blame you, I blame myself. Know that I love you, But it's the hand that we have both been dealt.
@@MohammadQasim Since the death of my mother 7+ years he's moved to Pakistan. On his last visit back few years ago I was on holiday. Been years since we've seen each other. Been holding back an ocean worth of tears, the pain I've caused him throughout my life whenever I was younger and the pain i continue to cause him is burning my insides. I self sabotage self destruct and consume myself in the guilt and pain rather than doing something about it because I've convinced myself that I must suffer and live in this hellish existence for the hurt I've and pain I've caused to my father as well as rest of the family.
@@lost_poet_ Reach out to him o think he'll be more than pleased to talk on the phone. Then eventually save up and go visit him. Keep that bond. Dont be hard on urself. You still have time to keep that connection.
@@lost_poet_ think this way when he was learning islamic knowledge and the distance etc inshaa Allah youll be rewarded for the sacrifice you made of not demanding much. Inshaa Allah youll be rewarded for ur patience and inshaa Allah he'll intercede for you on judgement day due to him being hafiz etc
Salaam, a friend of mine is going through a messy divorce. The children are denied access to him and ridiculous conditions are placed that make it near impossible for him to see them. If an agreement is reached, she changes her mind or outright rejects it. Money is always an issue. Father's are only worthy if they offer more money, otherwise they aren't parents. Co-parenting is a dream men never attain in reality. Its a hellhole of a situation and it's unfair, not just to him but the children. What makes me feel better is that she'll be accountable for keeping them away from him and his family. I pray she gets what she deserves.
When she was talking about womes issues he bought in how oh men struggle too then when she said how narrative in my community is that women are the victims and men are the perprators he was agreeing with that happily and not questioning it. What's the point of asking about womens issues then infiltrate that with oh but women do this to men. MH is always just talking about how women are hurting men but he never wants to speak about the issues of women and how women are suffering and how brothers need to change to love and respect women.
It's ur subjective lense .he is not doing that at all.in fact if use logic more than emotion you will see he is doing something totally opposite to what you are saying.
Asalam alaikum the title of men being the providers and the protectors do not hold anymore. The husband wants to provide on condition. "Let me do everything and dont question it" Otherwise I'm out"
we need more muslim psychologists with knowledge of Quran and sunna, unfortunately, you will never have problems to find patients and yes the payment is good Inshallah
Very interesting discussion, sister Nai'ma is very knowledgeable and speaks well. However I am disappointed by Mohammad Hijab. As someone who has been a subscriber to your channel for years now, I know that you're a very knowledgeable person, however the way you cut sister Nai'ma and turned the conversation away from a very important point was disappointing. Sister Nai'ma was speaking about how women are blamed for not following their religion or for not satisfying their husbands. The man gets away with a lot and that in itself is unjust. When sister Nai'ma brought up the point about Muslim women being abused by their husband or the question of a sister being r*ped, you turned it to what you consider loose definitions of the terms r*pe and domestic abuse. I do respect that you brought up the point about battered husbands and male victims of r*pe, that's an important conversation to have as well. I also disliked the fact that you seemed to almost support secret second marriages. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) did not take another wife when Khadija (RA) was alive because he didn't want to hurt her. Also taking a secret second wife is unjust on the first wife and Islam is against injustice. You spoke about women weaponizing intimacy, but have you considered how men do the same thing? Men a lot of the times demand and force women to have intercourse with them even if the woman is not feeling well and is not in the mood for it. Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: لَا ضَرَرَ وَلَا ضِرَارَ مَنْ ضَارَّ ضَرَّهُ اللَّهُ وَمَنْ شَاقَّ شَقَّ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ Do not cause harm or return harm. Whoever harms others, Allah will harm him. Whoever is harsh with others, Allah will be harsh with him. Source: al-Sunan al-Kubrá 11070, Grade: Hasan It is unlawful for a Muslim man to harm his wife either physically or emotionally, particularly during sexual intercourse. Whoever harms another person, except in order to repel or prevent a greater harm, Allah will inflict him with harm equivalent to his sin on the Day of Judgment. Naturally, one should treat others as he or she would like to be treated in the Hereafter. On this basis, the jurists derived one of the five essential legal maxims of Islamic law as follows: الضَّرَر يُزَال Harm should be removed. Source: al-Ashbāh wal-Naẓāʼir 1/7 As such, acts of sexual violence and assault, or ‘rape,’ are unlawful in Islam as these are obviously harmful and unnecessary acts. This legal mechanism, and not consent in itself, was the route through which sex crimes, committed in otherwise lawful sexual relationships like marriage were forbidden by Islam.
When a man marries a woman they are already under contract, husband can be intimate with his wife whenever he wishes, he cant only on some cases where islam forbids, if wife dont allow her she will be sinful, when she agreed to marry him she already game consent, he dont have to take her consent on every time, under marital relationship there is no rape, there are punishments for rape in islam, rape, harm islam has different definition & liberal/feminist got different definition, ,many muslim women now are mixing liberal/feminist concept with islam. lol. companions, many early scholars had multiple wives, they took another wife even when there 1st wife was alive, if it was unislamic prophet would have forbidden it. husband dont have to inform or take permission to marry another woman
1. Psychological harm isn't a fixed and agreed upon category even amongst psychologists. It varies widely between various schools of thought. Some of these have absolutely no evidence, and some have much more evidence. 2. Modern Western psychology, the new fetish of woke Muslims (esp psychology's more left leaning brands) who pedastalize it despite having a very juvenile understanding of it, is ripe with holes (reproducibility problems, liberal progressive biases, etc). While our people are reacting to some extremes of *key* psychosocial dimensions being ignored or misunderstood by our parents' generations, many younger generations superimpose their Western exceptionalism and liberal biases onto judging how older generations should have processed complex experiences and feelings (without living through anything close themselves). Despite claims of being decolonial, many who pull the psychology card are really just justifying their liberalization (as a legitimate cultural mode of being aligned with Islam), and how the resulting individualism exacerbates the nafs (which needs treatment, really, for all of us), 3. Concepts like neuroplasticity, antifragility, exposure therapy, and more -- detail how important it is to avoid assumptions about culturally informed ideas of harm holding primacy. Many humans are capable of much more than what a collective just happens to assume. 4. Not all cultures are equal in merit or their relationship to reality. Snow flake culture is a real culture, and yet it's clearly harmful to buy into its assumptions about harm and reduced capacities in people. It also comes with biases wrt *whose harm and what harm people care about*. While people need gradual exposure and development of their actual capacities, to forever stunt them under assumptions of avoiding "psychological harm" is itself harmful. 5. Culture aside, harm must have some objective boundaries. We don't say that someone is wholesale excused of faraidh because they perceive them as emotionally triggering, like salaat or respecting one's parents. This is what the most empirically grounded work demonstrates. The less empirically grounded theories come out of pseudo new age and woke millennial "trauma therapists" with little to no scientific background (nor sufficient philosophical or Islamic training). Further works by Dr. Andrew Huberman and Dr. Jonathan Haidt are recommended for people interested in understanding just how much the modern psychology card is flung around by misinformed wokesters.
@@CaliphForCaliphate Marriage does not mean sexual consent. Marital rape is a sin because it harms the woman or man. You cannot cause harm to anyone in Islam. The Hadith about angels cursing the woman is only if she refuses out of spite for her husband. If she has a reason: for instance fatigue, period, not in the mood, unwell etc then there's no sin on her for refusing. Most scholars agree that marital r*pe is a form of abuse. If a husband cannot leave a violent mark on his wife or hurt her in anyway do you think he can forcefully penetrate her? Of course not. That's painful for the woman physically and emotionally. Secondly I spoke about a secret second marriage. If the man marries without his first wife knowing then he has lied and deceived her. A lot for the times this leads to unfair preference for one wife over the other. The Quran has explicitly said that if a man marries multiple times and doesn't treat his wives fairly (financially, emotionally, physically etc) then he will be held accountable on the Day of Judgement. The Quran goes onto emphasize that treating multiple wives fairly is difficult so it is better to have ONE wife. If one were to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) then they wouldn't take a second wife if it hurts their first wife. Mutual respect and trust between spouses is essential for a healthy marriage. If a woman makes compromises then a man should also make compromises.
GIve one evidence that Prophet Muhammad (SAW) didn't marry another wife while Khadija (RA) was alive because he didn't want to hurt her. There's none. The verse about multiple marriage got revealed later. Also, are you trying to say apart from Khadija (RA), Prophet Muhammad (SAW) chose to hurt Aysha (RA) and other wives by getting married? Pathetic! The feminist liberal influence in your vocabulary is showing. Indeed what is not abuse in Islam, can be abuse under LIberalism so the distinction is important. Like, the wife needs Husband's permission to leave the house and go somewhere, and accompanied in most cases. The Husband doesn't. The Husband is called the guardian in the marriage in Islam. All that would be unacceptable and abusive in liberalism, so the distinction is 100% required.
And what about men taking the childeren amd the woman is not alot to see here Childeren. So men men are like that or even kidnapping the childeren to other country. Even his family isnhelpimg himmeith this? Why are we not talking about a men doing the same ?.It is not always the woman.
A lot of Sisters also are kicking good men out of the house for a small reason. They are also some cultural in to it why some men cutting off with their children because she call police on him !
I work for an environmental charity and their motto is " when something becomes Law it can be enforced". We muslim living in the West we also lack accountability because we do not have or know the real consequences of certain actions because there is no Sharia applied in the west. That is why youth are drug dealers, men marry second third wifes without being able to maintain them fairly and so on. The legal system in the west does not care if you are a good muslim according to Islam, therefore men and women with 0 or poor Taqwa an knowledge think they will get away with their actions and behaviour. Moreover there is traumas and personal psychological problems that we all carry on us that we should resolve before getting married.
i would be interested if mohummad hijab and ali dawah have kids/especially girls!/i hope he is honest and tells them about polygamy and secret wives/and what that entails
Facts and Fiction at the same time sista. Enough Kutbas and online sheikhs telling the brothers to be good to the wifey n kids. Don't hate on the religion and talk ish about it sista. You are too beautiful for that. Please try to view things differently. Anyone doing drugs or sexual violence or alcohol is not a Muslim brotha. I'm sorry for the stories you've heard . But real Brotha of the Ummah are always polite to the Wifey and kids and maintain a happy and positive environment.
What does being modest and wanting to cover herself got to do with her having a voice? Having a voice has nothing to do with what you wear. This feminist narrative that women who cover themselves are oppressed is Eurocentric, colonialist and culturally bias
@@youssoundiaye6055 This is modern Islam revisionist thinking that tries to flip the coin of wearing the hijab wich is indeed a way to repress woman's expression. And not only that there are women that are so brainwashed that they think the hijab is a feminist symbol. Wich is not.
I think what really needs to be addressed is why the walis are allowing their daughters to marry men (they've selected) who are drug addicts and alcoholics in the first place. There are always going to be two sides to an argument. Sister made some good points, but my friend who's a Muslim hasn't seen his child for over 6 months because his now ex Muslim wife hasn't allowed him to do so. So if we're talking about domestic abuse, as brother Mohammed has said, there needs to be a consensus on what that actually means without it alienating or having a bias towards a particular gender. Lastly, here's a final thing to ponder regarding a transactional marriage and withholding intimacy, which also provides a small hint as to why most marriages fail: Validational sex vs transactional sex. Raw genuine desire cannot be negotiated.
About the mental health issues, we have to be honest and seek therapy prior to marriage because I've met some serious nut head, hmd Allah helped me to dodge some serious b8llets
12:00 did we consider the feminist justice system where women/mothers are given full rights to the children and fathers are prosecuted for wanting to take responsibilities as men or just visit his kids? If not, we’re just having another feminist discussions, aren’t we? That’s my life experience- I’m sorry but I think a Shaikh should be involved before we start taking sides. Clearly, I don’t see a lot of people listening or considering a brother’s side.
Sorry sister but that is a blatant obfuscation @ 13mins & some of your material is directly taken from this Brother who has studied in madina university who has been calling brothers to account for years & you know him but don't mention him or his work AT ALL, why is that really if this is all about "helping the Muslim community" as you say, why does Shadeed Muhammad get no mention from you at all, go on his channel & he has been addressing these issues for years way before you tbh & the men you mention in specific he's addressed far more effectively than anyone over the years...I find it extremely strange that many of your points on your channel he's already touched upon years before as an actual graduate from madina university, why is that really....anyway for anyone interested go to Imaam Shadeed Muhammad's platforms & the extensive detail he's addressed these issues in & there's no way sister doesn't know about him at all.... You make excellent points sister & are an important contributor to these topics no doubt Mashaa'Allaah but a lot of them are a rehash of what Imaam Shadeed has already dealt with years ago, keep up the good work but don't suppress connecting others who have been doing this work for years with others Muslims if an overarching solution is what is really sought..... BarakAllaah feek.....
The reality is the whole second wife thing third or fourth, this is permissible for MEN WHO HAVE THE ABILITY, lets be honest, how many of us men have the ability? Not just economically but spiritually, mentally and physically. Those men of the past ie Prophet alayhi salaam and sahaba, they were men who had these characteristics and abilities to have more than wife. We have to be realistic. People need to understand themselves and know what they are capable of. Both men and women have to learn each others rights from Islamic point of view and fear Allah that they dont be unjust to their spouse. If they dont, they will wrong each other and find solutions from the wrong understandings whether feminism, red pill etc. May Allah bless and protect all of you. Amee
There were so many important things said in this podcast. I honestly wish every Muslim would be able to listen to, understand, and process the things that were said. Sister Na'ima was incredibly articulate, sensible, and balanced. Br. Hijab did a great job as usual. JazaakumAllah khair.
Brothers and sisters never forget our oppressed brothers and sisters in your dua and raise awareness for them specially the uyghur brothers and sisters. Our brothers in kashmir are also in great pain. Remember dua is the biggest strength of a believer. Our beloved prophet(sm) said ,'‘Whoever of you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; if he is unable to, then with his tongue; if he is unable, then with his heart - and that is the weakest of faith.’' Narrated by Muslim in his saheeh
I’m so tired of muslims highlighting the oppression only when non muslims are the oppressors. What about highlighting oppression of muslims committed by other Muslims??
Oh shh about oppression of Muslims. We are victims of ourselves. If Muslims stopped being victims for one second, maybe we'd take back our lands and be strong again. Playing the loser victim card is weak and pathetic.
@6:09: "If we could get our marriages on point so many things will change..." Excellent point. The best way to change society for the better is to focus on strong and healthy families. That starts with a proper relationship between men, women and God.
Men take care of women which means they need to be leaders. They need to handle the pressure of being a leader in many ways. Them being manly and leading is not arrogant.
a wisdom of mu ham mad or a donkey? Anas ibn Malik reported that a man cursed fleas in the presence of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Do not curse them. A flea woke up one of the Prophets for the prayer." who needs alarm clock when you have fleas, my friend? from The Best Local Pest Control
@@seeki3315 Liar busted! No wonder you hid the reference its a weak hadith ، فَقَالَ: لاَ تَلْعَنْهُ، فَإِنَّهُ أَيْقَظَ نَبِيًّا مِنَ الأنْبِيَاءِ لِلصَّلاةِ. Grade: Da'if (Al-Albani) weak. Even if it was sahih it doesnt say have a flea as a alarm clock it just says dont curse since the insect did something good indirectly or directly. So jog on with your nonsense.
Im a brother and I had to stand up for severe injustice against my wife. Allah explicitly said. in the quran if your parents family members, etc tell you to participate in oppression we have Allah's permission to disobey and not listen. If i had given into this particular situation I know everyone would've accepted me and said yes men are supposed to "control" their wife. I'd be hit with "good job brother". Or "proud of you son." For letting people opress my wife. Of course I stood up against the oppression and was shunned by not only close family members but the community. It makes me sad but who am i when the prophet Muhammad saws was shunned by his people and has to migrate and his character was destroyed and is still getting destroyed today by hypocrites. Allah is the most just.
the greatest thing about this whole conversation is her niqab. We, in the West, are so used to see the faces of the women talking, and, either by conditioning due to society, or by our own poor judgment, form an opinion on the validity of the point a woman is making by the way she looks (I know many who fall victim to this mentality), with the veil such a thing is impossible, and, since we aren't allowed to form an opinion based on her looks, all we are left is her mind and her dialectic. Which in turn helps her a lot in delivering the message in the most unadulterated form possible.
@@jesuswesleyramirez4165 how exactly any of that makes me an "incel" of all things? And when does "diversity" come into play in my comment? It doesn't. You probably did not get the point, that is all
a wisdom of mu ham mad or a donkey? Anas ibn Malik reported that a man cursed fleas in the presence of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Do not curse them. A flea woke up one of the Prophets for the prayer." who needs alarm clock when you have fleas, my friend? from The Best Local Pest Control
I can already relate to what sister naima is pointing out. That mostly happens in the desi set up. If a divorce happens, even the kids are divorced. If the kids go with the mother, the father cuts off totally from them.
Masha'Allah insightful discussion, but I do take issue with stigmatising people for having mental health issues. You wouldn't present a diabetic hijabi as being contradictory so what's wrong with a hijabi with bipolar? It isn't a reflection of one's spirituality- just an illness like any other. Comparing an ill brother with thobe with a brother who sells drugs is an insult. There's nothing unislamic about having an illness in your brain. And let's not forget that a lot of illnesses not related to the brain can also come about from stress, resultant thoughts and in turn resultant impact on physiology so why do we treat mental health conditions any differently?
agreed, and on the day of judgement their actions will be adjusted accordingly. It is far easier to control your emotions if you are neurotypical, compared to say bipolar, so it stands that someone with bipolar will be judged more leniently on certain things. We too should be easier on them
@@heyhorinshi Now that atheism is more prevalent delusions are secular in nature, relating to technology. Secular schizophrenics and religious ones experience the same symptoms. I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but in Islam the "insane" person is not held to account for their actions. Islam is a religion of mercy and demonising mentally ill people for being ill is contradictory to our religion's teachings.
Such an interesting talk.. Every man I have known has walked out on their children after divorce. Never gave a damn. And this leads to a huge problem in the community like the subcontinent where the brother now has the to take the burden of his sister. And in most cases she has been harmed again by her own family. Rarely do even the family of the girls stands up for her. It's the cultural concept if the daughter enters home of her husband in a carriage after marriage she leaves only in a coffin. I guess that's the reason we are among those countries who have a horrible sex ratio.
Jazaakumullah kheeyr, but this is very needed topic, and I believe as Naima said, Men needs to be educated and reminded that they should separate between the Xaqqs, فاعط كل ذي حق حقهas well as what marriage means as many of them don't understand what marriage means, The Masuuliyah(responsibility) as many men thing marriage is only getting everything they desired and that they will live the best life full stop🙄there many women who are after the father asking them to share the responsibility for children as that has nothing to do with the divorce between them but most of the times what happens is once woman is divorced kids are also divorced, Subxaanallah. I wish I had the chance to speak about this!! نسأل الله التوفيق
Wonderful podcast. I just bought sister Naima's book. About leadership, she makes a strong point that I think brother Mohammad should revisit. We have a leadership catastrophe in our communities because men are falling back and they falsely think that Islamically, it is pious to avoid such a role but they forget that's on a political high level. My fellow Muslim brothers need to assume responsibilities and lead forward with righteousness and yes you will make mistakes but you'll do well by experience inshaAllah. Read more of what the scholars say about this matter to understand how important it is to put things in their proper perspective. Dr. Peterson, though a nonMuslim, advocates strongly and rightfully for pushing good men to be good leaders. To borrow his words: Grow the hell up! You have so much potential bro, just leave arrogance behind you.
@@MuhammadAli-wy6ku Leadership is learned through experience bro and from rile models. The Prophet peace be upon him and other messengers of God in the Quran have exemplified this perfectly in different ways. Just read a lot about their leadership skills through their lives. Become best friends with them and the Sahaba through by learning their lives while focusing on leadership. Just stick to Muhammad peace be upon him leadership skills through his decision making. There is a reason why he was chosen above many in human history to be the Most Influential Leader in the world.
Brother Mohammed i love you and respect you and your effort ma shaa Allah. But please think of how much you joke in conversating with the sister. Some of the topics were possibly inappropriate. BarakAllahu feekum though, nice conversation.
The part at 33:00 is soooooo important! It’s 100% possible for “weaker” parties to be able to dominate “stronger” ones. Because of the history of oppression, when the stronger party gets dominated, no one listens.
It's like considering rich people immune to pain, grief and normal human feelings by the working class. Or in case of good looking people, people see the attention they get, but no sees that they are the ones also getting the most negative attention such as lust, jealousy, and unwanted advances.
OMGGGGGGG YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS I WASSSS PRAYYIIINNGGG THISSS WOOUUULLLLDDDD HAAAPPPPEEENNNN!!!!! you dont understand how excited I am for this. Mohommed hijab next you got to get Lowkey on and talk some politics.
Some of the things she said were true and some were clearly not, for example the assumption that only women are receiving orders and commandments whereas the brothers aren't, that's completely not the case especially in my society, men are usually adviced more than anyone else . And let me tell you that as long as you're gonna blame one party and victimize the other, you won't succeed in reforming the family and bringing it to unity again.
@Alien Reject Sunhanallah, some of them expect only men to be advised and if they received anything they consider it disrespectful and they tell you are harassing the sister, okay fine, this arrogance is what's ruining your marriages and then come cry for child support.
@@AbdelbarrMalki Child support is something that must be paid whether the woman is annoying or not, it is for the children's benefit not hers.... Perhaps in your society men are more advised then the women, in others vice versa in the west there certainly is a focus on Muslims advising women and not men, that is what is being referenced, and why the women have become more sensitive to advice as they feel that it feels more like an attack when they are specifically targeted for 'advise' maybe you feel the same if the same is true for men in your society, but then you should know what it feels like and not complain when that is a woman's reality ...
My ex husband i couldn't connect. I knew he went to prostitutes. Thirteen years later when he was fully exposed he divorced me. Good He didn't see the kids for a year. Now he wants to see them. No chance never in life will he see them again. Should have cared while we were a family. He took all my money and never showed how much he had because he wanted freedom to have sex with whoever he wants. His right hr claimed. My kids don't need a sinful father. He was a covert narcissist Sorry for whoever marries him.
Im really sorry you experienced this. But if they yearn for his presence perhaps once in while let them see him. That would be better for them. And don't put your traumas from him unto your children.
LOVED THIS… I have to mention though to the men wanting more than 1 wife just know that it is extremely traumatic on the children especially within the world we live in It causes so many problems and that’s from my personal experience
@Luqmaan Rashid what? Your comparing having many siblings to multiple wives? Probably should mention by experience I mean I’m the son of the first wive. For context I’m in England so things like schools etc are very complicated trying to be normal in a westernised country is very complicated and has caused many problems
@@blaze56701 its men's nature to have multiple woman, thats why allah allowed it & even in heaven along with 2 atleast earthy wives men will have many virgin hoor al ayn. so discouraging or stopping man to practice his god given natural right is extremely traumatic & unislamic, inhuman act
So you are commenting against the wisdom of Allah? He allowed Multiple marriages, if it was bad he wouldn't have allowed it. Also, most of the toxicity about Men wanting more wives rises from women's denial to accept this Islamic law. If those said women had stronger women put their whims and desires away and submitted to what Allah has allowed then a lot of those toxicity wouldn't exist..
Brother Hijab I understand where you are coming from but I think you are too quickly putting labels...Like you said that Women who don`t allow their husbands to see their children are narcissistic, that might be true in some cases but it`s not the general rule, For example my sister is divorced and she doesn`t let her husband see his child *BECAUSE* he used to spend little to no money on the child, and used to shout at my sister, user to overwork her even when she was pregnant, one time she even became unconscious, so she doesn`t let him see the child because she doesn`t trust him to be a caring father, also about the story you told about the man who killed his 2 daughters and committed suicide, DO you really think that someone like that is sane? Could it be the case that the woman didm`t want him to see the daughters SPECIFICALLY because she was afraid of something like this happening?
masyallah, Sr Nai'ma, best advice, refer to the sirah... have faith and talk. compromise. love each other. The best of men are the best men to your wives.
