The culture excuse gets on my last nerve everytime. No sorry but this is abuse plain and simple. south Asian and east Asian parents in particular put way too much pressure on their children and it can leave such a damaging effect on them. Although I'm not Asian, I do understand what it's like to have parents who depend on you for future stability. It's probably not every household but it is quite alot
Story of my life. I am struggling studying something I truly dislike because it would 'get me money and happiness'. I am a creative person, no accountant or lawyer. Parents do have their ways of messing you up. And now they regret it.
Although abuse is so frequent around the world, Korea is one of the only countries where it is a recurring theme in tv series. Not only that, but they also show different types of abuse (emotional, physical, sexual, financial,...) which I appreciate a lot. The number of times I've see people in comment sections realize that yes, their parents were abusives and not "just a bit too strict"... On the same topic, one of the most realistic scenes of abuse I've seen in Dramaland has to be the one in Arthdal Chronicles where Taealha makes Saya crawls to her. Some victims of abuse replicate what they went through as children on their own kids as a way to cope with their trauma and that's exactly what happened withTaealha and Saya. Taealha's father made her crawl in front of him to display his authority and she does the same thing. Worse, she even seems to think of what she does to Saya as a good parenting which makes me pity her a lot although she's still a terrible person. But anyway, what I meant to say is that although a lot of people complain about dramas always talking about child abuse I think we should actually be glad that at least one film industry isn't shy about this topic and shows it as it is.
my mom raises her voice alot, like constantly scream at my siblings and me. when i asked my grandma she said my grandma always raised his voice sooo yea
For Yi Seo in Itaewon Class, I have to side with her mom. Giving up university bc of a crush is irrational imo. Any mother- heck if I was a mother- I’d react the same way.
Kim Hyeongjoon I agree yeah. Kicking her out is not right but Yi Seo’s reason was terrible in my opinion 😂 I won’t force my children to go to University BIT if their reason is bc of some crush, then I’d be mad too🤷🏻♀️
But do you think she wanted that? Yes it would be good and help with future jobs and stuff but what if she never uses it, I think she just wanted to be out of her mothers control
"I didn't want to study medicine " desi kids felt that. Mostly Desi parents force their children to become doctor or engineer. Thank God my parents aren't like that.
" I didn't want to study medicine " I just...... am gonna change that to " I don't want to study medicine " .....this year i will graduate and I would rather kill myself than having to do what others tell me.....
@@steponmelisa4540 IDK if this is gonna help but keep going, keep encouraging yourself when they don't , you just need to believe in yourself , if you believe in yourself, trust me that's enough go do whatever you want, you don't need anyones approval I know it might be hard but just do it, just go for it , of course there will be pain but it wouldn't last forever It will go away one day and you will be proud of yourself one day and be glad you didn't give up and listened to your own voice rather than others
Pinky promise bestie, I don't wanna be like them for the following reasons: No.1: I love kids No.2:I know the pain of abuse No.3:I love being good than being forcefull No.4:i'm literally different from all the family members |♥| Let's promise
Parents these days really control their child like a robot. Parents should support what their children want instead of forcing their children to be what they want them to be. Btw awesome video as always ! 💜💜💜💜💜
I don't consider Yi Seo's Mom from Itaewon class as abusive parent. She was upset at her decision as any normal parents would. What would you think when you hear a smart student decided to not attend a prestigious college and instead work for a pub owner because she has a feeling for him (and I get that she also believes in him)? If you've watched the drama, she is actually considerate of her daughter.
I saw in Yi Seo's mother a person who was trying to make her dreams come. Just remember how obsessed she was with raising her daughter perfectly. Probably, she didn't want her daughter to repeat her mistakes, but since childhood, she was making Yi Seo perfect daughter, student, which is kind of harsh for me. It seemed like wanted to be perfect herself, but couldn't. So she used her daughter. Yeah, it is okay to be upset for such things, but why did she kick out her daughter when she did something that doesn't fit perfection?
@@JustaFangirl I understand your point. I don't see her as an obsessed mom who is trying to raise her daughter "perfectly". As an example, Yi Seo pushes the girl to win, her mom didn't "fix" her and didn't encourage such behavior either. She took her to therapy as well )which was only narrated and implied not shown). She wanted her to be a have stable and good job and financially successful. I think she was shocked and disappointed and she couldn't come to support her decision, that's why she gave her the choice to leave. Parents may say that, but that doesn't mean they are abusive.
@@flamingunicorn4498 Yea I feel the same way about his mother in The Beauty Inside. She was just upset and most of all confused about his choice to become a priest. She really wasn't abusive. Not that Kdrams are any short of abusive parents 😌
Just a Fangirl Yi seo’s Mother loves her a lot that’s why she wants yiseo to go to University because that’s more stable and she wants Yi Seo to lead a good life. At first she didn’t trust Yi Seo because the pub is stil small and unsuccessful and going to university is definitely the better option. But she has never once forced Yi Seo to quit or change her mind. Yi Seo also said herself that her mom really cares for her and love that’s why she does this.
@@flamingunicorn4498 did you watch the whole series? That's literally what Yiseo says.. it's in the script. Her mother wanted to make her perfect, and did everything in her power to 'help' her avoid making the mistakes she did, when she was her age. It's all explained.. I don't know where you got your narrative from. It's ok to have your own opinion, but this is what was confirmed, and what Yiseo's mother's storyline was. You can try reading the manga, as well. Since this is what actually happened, this creator decided to include her in this, I don't think it's right for you to try to argue her on that. You might think being obsessive over your child, and in a way, trying to live your life through her isn't abusive, but this creator did. That's all :))
@@tshewangkunzang6328 i always tell my point of view to my mum and she always say that i should no talk to her like that but idc bc i dont want to act or lie. Personaly i think that its more disrespectful to stay silent bc it feels like you dont care about what i am saying.
Here in Asia, life may be all nice but the your parents will push you to things that you dont want to do. Right now, even though my parents didn't tell me, but i know that they have someone in mind for my future husband
Rovvy Danica yes exactly Asians are very “old fashioned” we have to listen to our parents because we love them and if you don’t listen to your parents your a bad child and a evil person
Even though I am 26 and pursuing my PhD, my parents are getting me married to a man I haven't seen yet. When I said no, they threw a huge fit because they couldn't bear to see their perfect daughter have her own opinions. They made me agree to this decision using their passive aggression and now act as if that incident never happened.
@@fatimaahmed6427 I was told the same thing.. I think it was worth saying no to them.. I'm 25 and they think I'm way too old and lonely so they want me to get married, to some guy. It's pure emotional torture, they try their best to convince us.. no one says no to their parents but I did. even though everyone around me says that I'm in the wrong.. I still think it's okay to listen to my heart
"You have to get good grades cause we have a prestige." "You can't be a writer, that's a silly hobby!" "If you don't study science, I will not talk to you anymore." "Don't talk to that girl anymore, I heard she doesn’t have a good grade!" "I provide you with money, you do what I say! I know what's best for you!" "If you don't get a job, your friends will stop hanging out you!" "You write silly poems, write some intellectual article instead." "You wouldn’t be depressed if you listened to us!"
For me, my dad wants me to become a writer. I mean I am good that writing and I enjoy it, but that is not my dream. I have my own opinions and how I want my life to become but... My dad literally gives me a silent treatment when he sees my grades and also when I tell him I don’t want to become a writer. When parents say that, their excuse is “I’m just doing what’s best for you!” or “It’s for your future!”
@@lilimochifilm3254 for me i have to get good grades no matter what I have to obey every single order of them even when I'm eating I have to be slim I have to be strong I can't even have a crush I have to do what they say I can't even cry because they will say"don't cry like someone beloved to u have died But in the end I'll always be compared to my younger sister who does nothing but sees mobile I
@@lilimochifilm3254 really people don't believe you until they see your success. You should try what you like . Maybe you could change his belief. Actually my dad also didn't believe that I could be good at writing but my article was published in school magazine and it changed his perspective.
@@STORYBINGE-fb8pj wow 😲 you did that? Your parents must have been super proud. My parents don’t say I’m proud of you, they only say “Good” or “Mhm” lol 😂
why....just why did i start to cry when i read this comment. I almost started to believe that whatever happened was my choice, I made myself believe and....just by reading this, it stabs and stings right in my heart. oh god I never got over that phase. perhaps I just started to fool myself along the way while fooling others that it was me and that I'm fine.
After watching this, I realized how lucky i am to have my mother and father, She never pressured me in my studies, If i make mistakes in my exams, quizzes,She always say this "It's ok, Just make it up next time", And once i said to my father that i want to be a doctor, He said that "I support your dream being a doctor", I feel very lucky and proud to have them both in my life, ILOVEYOU BOTH.
The last ones kind of a stretch though. She wasn’t really abusive but she probably felt it’s too much of a waste to just be a priest when he had so much more potential. He didn’t even become a priest in the end. He married a rich girl.
The last 2 scenes were reaching tbh. The second to last, I can totally understand being upset as a parent when your child makes such a big decision secretly and you find out by chance. On the last part, I feel like the mother had a lot of time to come to terms with her son's decision and she surely did not handle it well, but she never abused him. Getting into an argument with your grown up son is not abuse.
You gotta remember if it was his dream to be a priest and she constantly said that he can't that is emotional and mental abuse she's trying to prevent him from achieving that.
@@cristinaortiz4703 It's not like she's constantly flipping out on him for that decision. He knows how she feels about it and makes the decision to be a priest. When he says that he is for sure going to be a priest/actually makes a decision that's when they have a fight about it.
Honestly, when parents say that being an artist or cook isn't that important but they don't realize that the the paintings they use to decorate their house are all made by highly educated pro artists and the delicious food at restaurants are all made by highly trained chefs.
As someone who's been abused throughout my whole life, I've made a promise to myself that I'll never abuse any child of mine in the future. I know the difference between discipline and abuse. It's the worst thing that could happen to a person.
it makes me sad that geunwon had a chance for redemption as a teenager when he tried to confess what he did, but his dad stopped him. His dad then traumatised him by making him kill the poor chicken >:( That guy is the reason why geunwon became the way he was throughout the drama. I was scared that our precious bean geunsoo was going down that path, and there was a time all of us thought he was cancelled... but I guess he changed ://
yall all this shit happens in indian culture just to get 'rid' if the daughter as she's a fucking burden to the family as according to them she can't earn money and make them feel proud anyways it doesn't happen in urban cities im happy about that
I am soo thankfull for Korean dramas to represent abusive household perfectly . I dont know these asian artist can manage to be soo relatable . Thank u .
This.. I wanted to be a kpop Idol but my parents got a little abusive and... They started hitting me they broke my mic and guitar they told me to shut my mouth because of the society.. I have to do CSS now why? Because my parents told me to 😄
You should not do it . Tell them that is your life not their . Try to be strong for yourself . I wanna be a idol too so I understand you very well this is why I'm saying you should be strong . If you wanna become one you should start now before is to late cuz in the future you will always be sad or mad at yourself .... Don't give up .
Sometimes your scared of hurting them that you end up hurting your self more. But if you really want to be a idol maybe practice secretly and even audition somehow secretly. Dont lose yourself. My whole life has been about how i shud be and act and would get pissed if i did otherwise. Funny thing is that they use the same escuses of me being a girl and the concept what would people think or what would the society say. Its always been that, never once they saw what i liked or what i want. They go around telling everyone that they are supportive people and im immature for choosing what i want or smthg. I think I went from the point so much. Just dont lose hope and strive even when evrthg is crashing down. Dont lose yourself
@@blinkarmy8781 honestly im an asian whose whole family revolves around science feilds which made it so hard for me to choose journalism and literature. I chose it because writing was the only thing i had of my own and only thing listened and not judge me. For the first time in my entire life when i sophomore i told my parents i cant do it, its litreal torture and they saw my grades dropping and knew i would be detained so they had no option than letting me choose so that they would be caused any sort of shame from 'the society'. The worst part for me in this how my parents take credit saying they wanted me to choose what i want. You could try some classes that are availabe and maybe sign up to these entertainment labels for audition. If its something you want to do for all the right reasons then i would think you should go for it. Anytime you need some hope or reassurance just come back here. The only thing i would ask you is not choose what you do because of pressure because after some time it will cause just mental fatigues and exhaustion. Take care and just think it through till you are sure. Maybe you could do both together, there are idols i think who have various degrees and stuff.
My dad always underestimate me, saying I’m useless, wanted to kill me, or why I can’t be like other kids. So my goal is to get into college and become doctor or lawyer because I want to prove him that I can do it.
The fact these things are common in India in every house ....... And common in every 1out of 5 house in whole Asia , lol ...... But we teenagers (14-26) we all smile like it's nothing to us even though it's killing us everyday like a slow poison but even faster than liquor, drugs or cigarette 🙂🙂🙂
after i give up on my exam (because of too much pressure from school) and got not so good grade (lol).. i just realize how toxic my family is.. how they always make fun of me, body shamming me, how they hit me and then act like nothing happen.. if not because of quarantine, i don't even know that i have depression, anxiety and anger issues
1. If they hate it when i laugh or smile and love it when i am sad then i will laugh and smile 2. I will make everyone regret trying to ruin my life 3. If they think i am fat and ugly and dont fit any beauty standards then i will create my own beauty standards 4. If they dont support me or help me pursue my dream they i will plan it myself and pursue my dream Have a nice day
When most watch romantic kdramas. I was always drawn to abusive family dramas and broken characters. They’re relatable in real life but many people dont wanna face the truth cuz parents are supposed to be authoritative figures you can never be wrong
In this video they aren't all abusive and no it isn't okay, forcing their children to do things and trying to control their lives as if they are a property is never okay
Majority of the parents in this video are forcing their children to do things THEY want them to do without a single consideration towards what their children want. that’s really damaging to someone’s mental health and outlook on life. think of it as conditional love where the child only feels some type of “love” if they meet the expectations of their parents - which are almost always to be at the top. it’s abusive, sure not physical, but emotionally. it’s permanent damage to the child, just saying 🤷♀️
Abusive is the right word .....you may not know that because you may never had gone through it ...its more emotional abuse that hurts than physical abuse
just wanted to say that i am not saying it's okay for parents to do that just thought maybe the word "abuse" was not an ideal fit to describe it i am a huge fan of teacher kim the romantic doctor bcs i'm a med student but the amount of tears that i shed in that first scence you saw was huge bcs i felt that on a very much deep level bcs i am in the same position and thinking that there is no hope and i am gonna end up just like her regreting everything made me so scared and depressed but i know that parents do this out of love and care well at least my mom did
No, 1:34 has the rights to be like that with their daughter. It’s normal to be worried. Most of the time you throw mean words when your angry. Plus, it’s so sudden so she’s still shock. But yeah don’t attack me
Master GB well, I think normal worried parents don’t kick out their children just because children did something that they didn’t want. Yeah, they can throw mean words when they are angry, but kick out? That’s not okay.
It's really heart breaking and sad when you hear every day from your parent "if you do this, i will die" and there is the moment, about which you even don't know, when you start believing in these words. Actually, I am really scared that if I do something my parents don't want, they will do something to me.
How lucky iam after seeing this. I got two loving parents and a sibling. They accepted me with their whole heart even after knowing that I have digeorge syndrome . They doesn't over pressure me for getting good grades. And they always be my side no matter what. I want to become a chef like I dream and bring my parents and sibling to my dream house in my dream country after their retirement. I love u mom and dad. 💜💜
When you want to cry to let go of the pain but there they are calling you "DRAMATIC" some people dont cry even thought they want to but mate you dont always have to act strong all the time,when things get a little harder just cry i promise it will get better "crying does not mean you weak it means your in pain,and when your in pain your strong,because your strong enought to hold the pain for all those time,it doesn't matter what they think about you what matters is what you chose to be"
"I didnt want to study medicine" So true.. My dad is forcing me to study medicine and become a general surgeon when its not even my dream.. My dream is to become a businessman.
Nope buddy even some children don't deserve parents . My own parents would treat me like a second option and with all love to my brother but all he does is shamelessly force them for his demands rather to to earn that such a old age of 28, more then what capacity my parents have and having them have empty pockets and stomach just to fulfill his wish and yet him to shout on our parents and dare to call them useless. I really think even some children don't deserve parents
PARENTS DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT OUR MENTAL HEALTH ANYMORE. NO MATTER HOW IN PRESSURE WE ARE UNTIL OUR GRADES ARE GOOD WE ARE A GOOD CHILD....... THIS IS A HARSH TRUTH .
And the most hurtful thing is they never realise it. Even if you say it in every possible manner, they won't get it. For them they are always right. They are so self centred to care what we are saying
idk why but watching this makes me feel sad:( but here are the list for those clips 0:00-0:50 romantic doctor teacher kim season 2 (cha eunjae) 0:51-1:27 itaewon class (jang geunwon) 1:29-2:14 itaewon class (jo yiseo) 2:16-3:15 the beauty inside (ryu eunho)
If you call these abusive parents you have yet to see my dad. Being abusive isn't just scolding you its beating u up so that u cry until you can't breathe. I have experienced that many times. It sucks. So, to all those being abused by their parents and forced to do smth u are uncomfortable with stay strong.
My aunt indirectly told me that I’m a girl and I don’t have a license to do what I want to . I don’t care what she says because it’s her decision not mine and it’s her decision on me instead on herself . Stop judging and telling us what we have to do we are your kids not slaves .
This remind me of Kahlil Gibran's poem in his book, The Prophet on children. Here it is, Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
@@evelynsmith3309 i see. I thought slam poetry are poems that criticize society. I enjoy reading literatures and poems in general. I don't have any preference. But good poems will last in our heart forever.
@@evelynsmith3309 i also enjoy writing poems. Reading and writing poems comfort me abit. I sent some of my poems into competitions, just to get exposure. I used to be afraid of trying many things. But then, i realize that i have just wasted my life being afraid of nothing.
Most parents raise their child for their need. But they don't even ask children about their dream. I am happy that there are also parents who also hear children needs.
"Death people are given more respect and flower you know why because regret is always more than love and gratitude. " These aren't my words but they hit so hard
Coming from an Asian family, I'm glad my parents are not doing this to me. My parents always told me to do what you are good at and nothing else. It hurts seeing parents trying to control their kids to do what they couldn't. They're crushing their child's dreams...
Thank you for your hard job as always and thank you for being s straightforward in the title ! I really hate when video makers release FMV with scenes of abuse in it but only write "sad moments" when their video could potentially trigger a former victim of abuse. So yeah, once again thank you for that
Life is really hard when your parents have way more expectations from you and even you know you can't fullfill them but you still try for them but no matter how hard you try they will still be unsatisfied with it *Happy parents is just a myth*
when ur a kid ull hear them cursing u without saying anything being a crying mess being a teen u start to talk back yell and cry after tht u wont even react jst be at a emotionless state
“I didn’t want to study medicine” dude same situation I don’t wanna study medicine nor engineering but my brown parents want me to become a doctor like my aunt or an engineer like my dad -_- What’s worse is that it’s the same with my elder siblings
Quite a lot of people have undergone abuse by their parents but they laugh it off and make memes, tiktoks, reels and stuff; and I understand laughing is a coping mechanism but laughing it off is not. I get really frustrated and angry whenever people are like "I'm from a black household" , "I'm Mexican", "I'm Asian", "Flying this, flying that" "Whip/belt" "It happens" "it's common" " it's not a big deal" Some people are really OK with abuse and ironically enough claim that they grew up well. Also, they expect everybody who has suffered any type of abuse to shut up, not raise a voice, "compromise" and keep facing abuse.
I just realized that reason behind every arguements between me and my dad... i was just rebellious instead of saying yes and hurting myself...Let it be.... i need not hurt myself doing things i dont want to...
It hurts a lot when they are wrong and still getting angry on you and you just have to listen them and if you say something than you are a sham 😓 And you have no one to share your emotions . No friends and you are lonley in your dark room and thinking about it And it feels like I deserve better than this Because only you know that how hard you try and also you felt that nobody loves you . You are unloved 🥺🥺🥺🥺
I actually can understand Yiseo's mothers reaction. Dropping out of high school for a crush is childish and irresponsible but i wouldn't scream at her but rather listen to why
It’s Okay That’s Love, Jaeyeol’s mom had a toll on me. It was subtle, there was no screaming and everything but the psychological pain the siblings had to go through because of their mom, wow.
*My father never did that to me im* *really thankfully for my father...* *Sometimes my father said to me* *"One day my daughter I'll never be* *theres for you anymore..and you'll* *get a family.. and forgot me"* *I ask* *"Why dad?"* *He said* *"Because u see sometimes people* *choose their husbands and wife's* *Not ther family who love them."* *I said* *"But i love you"* *He said* *"That is right... I did this to my* *family and i regret it...ur mom left me.. and use me for money..."*
I felt the first one... When I was 17 yo I asked my parents to take me out of college (I was a minor) and they said a big no and if I left I had to pay all the money back, it was the first semester, so I went on a state of negation and lost a year pretending to study, I graduated in 2018 and still don't know what I wanna do... (sorry, english isn't my first language, feel free to correct me :) )
I am happy that my parents do understand my dreams but they also suggest to study along with my dreams as if I won't be able to achieve my dream (which is not possible ,I will definitely work hard and achieve) than I would have my degree to work. So ya pa and maa really cares about my future. They want me to have a good job and be happy. But when it comes to dreams and passion of something, you just can't stop yourself but work hard to achieve that goal and I promise that I will become that person that I want to and make my parents proud.
I got really sad when Itaewon Class came up. He could’ve turned out so much better if he was guided but his father ruined it. Istg his father makes me so angry 😤 he’s a very good actor
I'm watching Something in the Rain and this kdrama has a bunch of abusive parents. There's the "I'm hurting you because I love you" kind and also the "I'm never there, but we should get along anyway" type. It is a mess.
My mother wanted me to go into the medical field. My father wants me to go into finance. I had a hard time trying to figure out who I am and who I am as am individual because they wanted me to do what they couldn't achieve...
I don’t consider Eun Ho’s mother abusive. Yes, she was upset because she wouldn’t be able to see him for a long time and whatnot, but she does come around even as his feelings for becoming a priest stay strong. She still doesn’t want him to do it inside but she forces herself to accept it but he tells her he doesn’t really know anymore to which she in relieved. In the moment she was really mad because he did it without telling her and stuff but she sucked it up so i wouldn’t say she’s abusive at all.
geez i feel so bad for all of them, if anyone is going through this, mani feel you, i really do, because to an extent I've lived through this too, just know that your not alone, and that one day it will be okay, things aren't always dark and bad, a day will come when you can live how you want and be happy
its actually sad this always happen to me bcs my sibilings I always try to do something to make them happy but I still dont get the attention So I dont talk to them like that I just talk to my grandparent
I was in this kind of situation, I’m 20 now and away from my family.... but every time I see my parents and here their voices, my body freezes in fear. My cousins, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents ignored me and looked pass my bruises, and wounds and scars. I would be tied up, and beaten. I would get beaten up while I’m sleeping, I had things thrown at me, including knives, hammers and an axe. I would get stripped naked and thrown in a freezer for hours. I had to piss and shit in the freezer, in bottles, closets, basements, because I would get locked up for days with no food or water. But yeah... I’m good now, I cut contact with my whole family.
