Matt's opening comments are very true for me. I really like his mention of platonic relationships with other men, and I try to approach other men with this framework first and foremost. I think this can transcend feelings of physical attraction. One of the keys is trying to convince the object of your desire of your wholesome intentions. I also like Reno's notion of acquiring acceptance and belonging by default vis-a-vis one's exhibition of love toward others. I can also empathize with Matt's discussion of dealing with one's fears, especially when it comes to masculinity and a bias toward only embracing it rather acknowledging feminine energy as well. When Matt mentions defense mechanisms, I think of my own OCD as a way of dealing with obsession spikes possibly initiated by approaching my fears. I like Reno's mention of becoming more relaxed as one challenges one's ego. I also like Michael's notion of acknowledging peacefulness rather than happiness. He mentions if you cannot find what you're looking for, then create it, with which I agree. "Be the change you want to see." Matt's comment about authenticity attracting authenticity is very eye-opening as well.
🌈 This was soooo awesome guys !Nice to see you smile & joke around a bit Matt 😊😊. You’re so right in that, gay men must look beyond a person’s physical attributes/fuckable rating and see how others can stimulate different parts of your mind and spirit. Too often, gays miss out amazing friendships, conversations ect because their first thought is about a person’s physical appearance. Michael your message about not putting gays on a pedestal is spot on. Often times, those that we put on a pedestal are the ones fighting the biggest battles behind closed doors. Reno you took the words right outta my mouth when you mentioned accepting things in others that you may not accept for yourself but that you’re learning to love 💕 . I could on and on about the 1,001 points all three of you made that resonate with me.
Hey guys, I listen to all of your RU-vid videos, and they are all wonderful. However, this one was the best! There were so many moments, so so so many moments of truth, said by each of you. I think this video should be required listening for all gay people, and probably to all straight people as well. There should be a gay handbook for all young gay people who are first coming out, and probably for some older gay people as well, whether it be a physical book or an e-book that has a link to this video. I am impressed with all of you, and please continue making these exceptional videos/podcast’s. Sincerely, John 11:19
Hey guys. Thank you for continuing to bring to us these deeply insightful topics and practicing the act of going deeper in real-time. Great episode, Reno. Loved, loved the introduction you gave (I noticed Matt taking it all in 😊)!!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on acceptance and belonging in our community! @7:25 that's really interesting as I never experienced that or maybe I just never noticed? Regardless, what you experienced is completely valid though it's unfortunate that that has been the case for you and other people too. Since it's pride month, I recently rewatched the movie Broken Hearts Club and it's interesting how even 22-23 years ago, gay men yearned to be accepted amongst their gay peers. One quote that resonated with me was John Mahoney (Jack)'s reply to Patrick: "Everyone can't be straight. Everyone can't be beautiful. Everyone can't be the same, Patrick. Some people are just gay and average. We're the strongest I think." @33:43 peaceful = stress-free! @37:52 I agree to delete apps and/or stop going to places that don't make you authentically happy. Happy pride to all of you!
We don't have to figure out everything all at once to attain increasing levels of wholeness while we practice loving self-examination. Being comfortable in the confusion, disonnance, and mystery is part of the journey. Our alignment isn't ever a fixed state. We are ever-expanding and mutating into amended desires. "Humans are narrative junkies" ~Nichols from Orange is the New Black
I wish more RU-vidrs would complain about the ads that run on their videos. it’s crazy I come to watch the video and the first thing I get hit with is anti gay/anti-trans ad on RU-vid claiming to be a documentary video. The website it’s literally a bunch of Trump and QAnon videos calming to be documentary’s. I’ve blocked that same RU-vid ad several times but it keeps replaying, even on some of my favorite reactors channels who’ve only mentioned before that they were gay. When I go to RU-vid channel and the person has even mentioned that they were in the LGBT community it’s usually adds flooded Ben Shapiro or Jordan Peterson But I ever see that ad replay when I’m watching a movie/tv show reaction full playlist of other reactors who aren’t of the LGBTQ community. I know your channel probably can’t get RU-vid to do anything about it, but RU-vid needs to do better because they have been terrible.
I just want to send you a reply if you ready to be with the man for his first time I am willing to find out how we can get together and where to meet you at and let you get started having a good time cuz I never had sex with men before but I'm I liked it
You seem to use the G word and the Q word as if they were interchangeable, which is not at all the case. I am way too homonormative for Team Q, and, frankly, would never want a seat at the Q table. I cringe inside whenever anyone uses the Q word as if it accurately describes gays though I understand it's tricky because some Q people are male and exclusively same-sex-attracted and/or same-gender-attracted but have embraced the Q agenda and definitely fit better with Q than they would with G. Regarding Mr L's first point, I suppose when I was socially active I had Ugly Privilege - at least I knew anyone paying attention to me liked my thoughts or my writing. Fortunately, I had rather little appetite and never minded much. As to what one may struggle to accept, I suspect one influential factor in one's answer would be whether one is attracted to people who complement or who mirror one. To Mr D's point, isn't the first thing to do to decide where one wants to belong? Well put about the pedestal, but I had to stifle the instinct to flee at the dreaded mention of the P-word, which is a blight upon the divine pursuit of tennis (weirdly, I think that's only half a joke). Weird to be so close to agreement with Mr J here. I'm afraid I still want the G to undergo a sort of formal divide before it becomes too big and we wake up one day to see that Gay has become the new Bi in being far too big a category with all sorts of conflicting expectations.
Thanks for sharing your experience of the episode. Can you share with us how you see Q and G. I think many people use them interchangeably and I would agree this is confusing. I would love to know how you distinguish these two terms. - Matt
@@GayMenGoingDeeper The short answer is that Q strongly emphasizes gender as paramount over orientation and aims for hyperinclusivity. I'm inclined to pass on the gender question entirely and I always valued the exclusivity of being gay. Owning my G would set clear limits as to what I didn't do. It was the politest way to make categorical rejections of women/those who lived as women and heterosex. (That's why I see the G as benefiting from a three-way split so that those who don't exclude other genders or other sexes as well as those who exclude both can all be validated.)
Discovered your guys podcast last week and you are literally SAVING me after a harrowing breakup 3 months ago that I’m still suffering from. Thanks for being awesome and showing me that good guys with values are out here in the gay community. My biggest takeaway from this episode is simply the word “rebirth” 🔥👏🥲
