Actual Trump Quotes Read By Cartoon Donald Trump 

R C Someone from CNN did, in the Oval Office. Trump's response was saying "You can look at it however you want" over and over (because as we all know, Trump never gets angry and claims people are misrepresenting him). All the right wingers in the comments said the interviewer was a smug pretentious prick, I guess holding the president to a standard and asking him to clarify the stupid shit he says so he doesn't throw a bitch fit at the media is smug.

Because he just ends the interview. That's what happened with John Dickerson on May 1. He's done it before on other occasions. Ivanka does it, too. wtkr.com/2017/05/01/president-trump-abruptly-ends-interview-with-cbs-after-wiretapping-questions/ When he first spoke to Aussie PM on the phone, 45 didn't like what Turnbull was saying. So he just ... hung up. Foreign leaders learned to just either nod their heads at his lunacy or avoid him. You can clearly see that at the g20.

+R C I'd like to add, that reporters that let Trump keep talking get amazing amounts of rope to hang him. Lester Holt ("Mr. Elegant") didn't cut 45 off when he diverged from the usual "Rod Rosenstein made me do it" talking points. So they let him talk. In the WSJ article, they try to re-up several questions. (To no avail, but really, after the "Mr. Elegant" thing, what is any reporter shooting for?)

Emiscary1 Idiocracy

During his running for office buffoonery, there was a joke going around about how he answers questions. He doesn't. He yammers until it sounds like he did. The joke: A reporter asks Trump, "Mr. Trump, what's two plus two?" Mr. Trump replies "I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2'? And I tell them, look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh, my God, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. It's terrible. It's just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way, I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. By the way, if you check the polls, I'm winning. Especially when it comes to the #2. It's probably like the number 2 but with a lot of 0s after it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy, but he's like, '10101000101,' on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer, let me tell you. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers, and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me."

Kreeper Gamer no there not there's no proof

these are not actual quotes from Trump. it's just a comedy sketch but the fact that people have to question it's authenticity is amusing to say the least

Mister ElEGaNT

Didn't they say at the beginning that Politico published the transcript?

"nO tHeRe (they're*) NoT tHeRe'S nO pRoOf"

Or even read anything. Does he know what the word library even means?

Just that it will be something with his name on it - ugh!

​@@user-yk1cf8qb7q 1987 Crossfire interview He uses the earpiece ploy to end questioning about what he reads. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-v_zaeohJuCQ.html

Coloring books…kind of inside of the lines coloring. Nice….

Jenius, that's lol

More like “Jerk Off”!

Brilliant

Lol, such an idiot

😂 🏆🥇 you get the best comment award

My first thought exactly. And no-one's laughing at him anymore because it's just too unbelievable - even more unbelievable that anybody could vote for him. The only thing that has made me laugh is him turning beet red when booed at the Libertarian conference 🤣🤣

💯

Probably at the mall because it’s a store not an animal lol

Bill Dreaden; How about the stature of liberty, looking down, with a tear in her eye.

Bald Eagle*

@@pranked4448 Proud to be bald. If you catch my drift..! :p

we are teaching them to assassinate

Yes lol for real and the rest of the transcript is pretty bizarre too

He quantifies the 'highest taxed nation' by the absolute taxed money. That's just so silly on so many levels.

Phoenix Rising I know I probably should, but I am just too scared to read the rest of the transcript!!

"it's like: nope!" I'm pretty sure sign-language gorrillas can string together a more rational sentence

You can't make that shit up

His hair looked too neat, though.

He may have an orange tan,but he's a hellava lot smarter than that beady eyed chicken snake looking f... up in there now.

Amy Davis and the problem is it got worse

I thought it was new, just showed up on my feed. Sad thing is that coming from the cartoon the quotes are funny. Knowing an actual purportedly human being... Vote him out.

No

How about look up Biden racist quotes and tell me what is fake you can actually see his mouth moving to what he is saying

@@rigdonwright4369 ...... No matter what can be said about Biden, there is no doubt in the 2020 election Biden was OBVIOUSLY perceived as the lesser of the two evils. TRUMP had four years to show his stuff and LOST not only the popular vote but also THE ELECTORAL VOTE.

He is certainly the more likeable version.

Stephen Colbert and Democrats are nothing but s*** anyway on the bottom of my shoe Democrats view ignorance and insanity They Ain't Nothing But Trash uneducated ignorant desert rats scurrying around why ain't cheating backstabbing two-faced that's a recommendation for a being a Democrat two-faced back-stabbing piece of s*** lying about everything

Chuck Farina, Jesus Christ, Chuck sounds like exactly the type of guy who would support Trump

YOU ARE CORRECT YOU WIN THE REALITY PRIZE....

@@Andyatl2002 You are so right,Jan 6 showed it all.

I used to get drunk as a kindergartner, too

As a currently drunk kindergartener, I must say I would never say those things. Also Drumpf is a poopie face.

And the scariest part is that he isn't drunk nor a kindergartener

...and the other half?

What's funny is he's like this and he's never had a drink in his life.

Yeah at America ....not it's leader

I am laughing at the president while hoping for the very best for the people

America kinda sucks now

kris devlin, they are laughing at the leader.

@Deceiver We have an idiotic system, it involves gerrymandering and other stuff, you don't want to know, but. He actually lost by millions of votes. That is why he whines about voter fraud, he wants to think he won because everyone wanted him to be president when almost 70% of us don't.

Dont worry, when Trump wins again he will get more practice

@@williamgullett5911 he better not

@@skiglepigle9942 What makes Joe Biden a better choice?

@@williamgullett5911 dunno, I might keep my life ya know?

@@skiglepigle9942 Trump will take your life?

...except, being on network TV, Colbert can't say "What THE FUCK did any of THAT BULLSHIT MEAN???"

Funny as funken cancer , d, head ,

Trump out-Palined Palin.

Trump, the biggest Russian stooge and the most untrustworthy president in history. Even his own party doesn't trust him anymore.

Can't get it out of my head: WHO IS MR ELEGANT???

except all his giant pile of victims are ready to sue..........

And I would like to join you in your ability to point out the not so obvious. But I am so glad that you put that comment in there it gave me a foot up which I appreciate until this buffoon is seriously history

As a guy whose been doing stand-up for almost 30 years,it's to damn depressing TO EVEN MENTION THE POS'S NAME.NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS A.SHOLE

And all he had to do was ass fuck the country for 4 years.

😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

You won the comments lmaooooo

I'm with you Sister.

You are beautifully funny! 🤣 And I'm with you!

LOL 😂 👍🖐🏼

@shix1979 So you know this lady?

Reshan Reza noooooo it’s made up

Real quotes 😫

No surprise here

Like they said in the segment, you can find an actual transcript of the entire interview. It has been quoted on many other late shows too, so it shouldn#t be too difficult to get their sources. I bet you'll see questions asked about these quotes in the next press briefing. if that's the case, you should get some sort of statement by the white house officials that at least proves that he said those things. They'll probably come up with an explanation of what he meant too.

No... Real quotes. Check Politico for the full transcript.

Yeah, no joke.

No shit Sherlock you thought Bush was an idiot with language and Regan a lazy arse Trump out does them

Same!

@@oscarosullivan4513 *Reagan

@@RobJazzful Thanks

@bad1dobby indeed

@@rice83101 he does in fact have brain damage. He tried to pour molten gold down his nose and ear to make his brain gold. The heat from the melted gold burned off parts of his face. The prosthetics they used to replace his destroyed face didn’t blend well, so they have to use dark, orange, makeup to cover it up.

@@rice83101 I did in fact make it up, but it sounds correct based on his intelligence.

@@johncampbell9448 no

@@roberthunter509 yes.

At least we have good people like Steven Colbert to help us survive this nightmare.

@@pattyamato8758 Yes Yes , Steven is always on Target ! ! !

Hi 👋 pretty lady how are you doing today and the weather condition like

Jaw-dropping is what it is. Everything just has 'actual' or 'actually' before it in my mind when I hear him; "An _actual_ quote from Donald Trump", "The _actual_ president of the United States", "This is the _actual_ way he interacts with world leaders", "This was his _actual_ response to a mass shooting/hurricane/story of human suffering", "He _actually_ implied that he'd bone his daughter" etc etc.

Amen, Brothah David. Amen! 😞

@@vooveks Every day I wake up hoping this presidency was just a nightmare, yet every day I am disappointed and shocked to see that this is actually real...

@A-a-ron Are you crazy? Have you seen what's going on right now? More and more people are hating Trump because of his lackluster response to the coronavirus, and both Biden and Sanders are mopping the floor with him in the polls.

@A-a-ron Also, where's Kansas City? 😏

I HATED George W., but I would literally kill to have him back in office right now. I would throw him a massive parade, have an epic block party to celebrate. All of that shit.

TheTacogamer500 // it’s figure of speech

LOL, apparently you don't understand what a "figure of speech" is, or that my post was simply a joke. Also; every time you misspell 'literally', Jesus drowns a kitten. Your computer and/or cellular device has a spellcheck function.

@@thetacogamer500 It's a turn of phrase, you fucking ignoramus. Stay in school, kiddo.

@@thetacogamer500 literally for as long as that word existed it has been used in both this actually happened and a over dramatic figurative description www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/misuse-of-literally

yes, we need all the luck we can get, at least he will be out of the office soon

and we got it. Biden time

The only difference with Donald Trump is the salad has good parts to it.

Donald Trump sounds like mad libs but instead of a sentence with a blank or two it's just blanks.

With trump, same difference! lol

dont insult salad

ohewell Last or cabbage

Great catch!

Dude this is an animation

Yes-hilarious!

Wow good observation on that

there's a little bullet screaming towards his cranium

GREAT CATCH! I missed that (and I PLAYED Scarecrow just last summer!) LOL

November 6 2020 - he has officially outdone himself

@musiclover9361 you didn’t know what u had coming... Trump is now trying to tell people he won the election.

@@verundus9500, he can claim to be Tiger Woods but that doesn't make it so.

@@musiclover9361 lol I hate trump so much, at least we have someone doing something on Veterans Day.

@@verundus9500, I don't hate him anymore (I don't hate him any less though!). He's flat out delusional.

They still will. Because that's how they dispute points.

ALEXANDER HAMILTON They'll say that we are focusing too much on whether he communicates effectively, instead of the essence of the words. "Taxes" and "we don't have the numbers" were mentioned in that mess of a quote and are apparently enough for us to see that he was doing something along the lines of criticizing people who say American taxes are much lower than international standards when he thinks they are so high. We are clearly idiotic for questioning both the content and quality of his answer.... (sarcasm) It's our own fault for not letting ourselves be tricked into interpreting the mess how we want it to be interpreted, so Trump knows what to say next time to please his supporters. It is not like he would do something manipulative like that just to keep his supporters, right? (sarcasm)

They'll just talk about Obama, or they'll shoot the messenger. Trump-supporters are stupid after all. They don't even know what "Twitter" is.

whoever changed my name on this site...Alexander Hamilton is a swell name, but I believe that one has been taken. Perhaps Thomas Jefferson? After all I i love to travel! lol

Please, they've started calling the pussy grabbing tape fake. You think they're not gonna screech fake news at a written transcript?

Domy Do Every hour*

Domy Do don't cry

lol only every month? ;)

Hurray!

Domy Do you mean every DAY!

Verum Quaesitor IT’S FUCKIN’ SCARY

The ice is gonna break.

I'm with you. 👍

Where's Lisa Simpson? Doesn't see her yet. Not only USA, the world needs her to save it from the incompetent leader of the strongest country. Heelllppppp

Feeber Izer it’s now September 1, 2019 and he has gotten progressively, WORSE!

Well, today is Sept. 2, 2019 and I don't think things could get much worse unless the Imbecile-In-Chief in the Oval Outhouse decides to nuke Cat.5 Hurricane Dorian because - "....lots of water.....bigly storm.... very wet.........." ad nauseum. Kentucky Fried Caligula strikes again!

Sept, 2019 - the order has to have come from 'higher up'...45 (?) has ordered Bahamian hurricane refugees, in the clothes they stood up in, fleeing destruction of everything they owned...to produce 'papers' showing they are not criminals. Then he blames the ferry captains for doing it, not HIM. Yes, I am worried.

It's hard to play with bone spurs, too.

@A.J. Torzyk amen! I dont know a single democrat who loves this Country. Not one..

jay tompkins russian bot detected.

@@soccercodes7943 Russia, Russia, Russia!!!! Please explain why Russia donated 143 million to the Clinton Foundation

jay tompkins .yep and why she even bragged about Putins inner circle invitation in one of her emails. Sold them our Uranium. Had lawyers meet with the same Russians Trump met with, the day before AND the day after he met them. Wasnt trying to set him up at all. Lol The list goes on and on and on and on About 30 years worth of Russian/Clinton political interaction. Trumps business interaction is bad though. MFers believe anything spewed across mass media outlets. How can someone hate one person so much that its OK to commit crimes 100 times worse to get rid of him. They committed the same crimes and more than Nixon. Fake dossiers, paying off FBI, having Russia volunteer info to set him up, insiders spying, etc etc etc. Shits ridiculous. Thats like saying its OK to murder someone for J walking. WTF

jay tompkins Russian bot

If Trump had a six foot rabbit named Harvey as an imaginary friend, no one would be surprised.

@@particleboy3584 lol...Harvey would be a better prez.

@@particleboy3584 never ! Harvey only liked friendly kind people, remember ? 😄

we did

But what he do that's so bad?

@@davidhuerta7263 nothing it's just that some people don't like him for stupid reasons and several people tell lies about him.......he is a good man...😔😔

@@davidhuerta7263 lls after a month later question, since TRUMPARDS have not had a problem with him I wonder if they having problems now.

nikki miller a good man that stole money from his own charity

@@davidhuerta7263 It´s "What has he done that is so bad". Start by learning the language and then maybe you will have an easier time learning other things.

the topic is Colbert or drumpy the liar

They were actually quite large compared to the real person XD

@claire bigelow and very few tiny brain cells.

HIS HANDS SARE SO SMALLLL!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

PSYCHOBEVO pretty sure its colbert himself

It's that older redheaded man that occasionally shows up in person in segments

I think it's colbert himself

It is Brian Stack, he use to work for Conan.

Sure does.

Look at the naive fool believing what they selling on the Tel lie Vision 😂

Levvy soo sad!

Totally Fake - Nah, that's just were Trump keeps his hookers when they aren't peeing on the bed.

+Totally Fake Your rather insecure when it comes to people mocking/criticizing the nonsense that Trump keeps saying.

this is why imporant people dont respond to things.. god trump is a idiot

G Washington What are you talking about? Up until Trump, we only had real Americans serve as President. BTW, you seem to have a problem with Kenyans. Is it some Kenyans, or is it all Kenyans? Why don't you take off your white hood and explain.

Just one?!

Yes. Trump IS this stupid, and DID embarrass America.

It is so hard to tell the difference with this clown.

Me too, buddy. I need a drink too. 😂

We now have a different and significantly worse nut job in office

No; the worst, not one of the worst.

_♪ Donald Trump was the President… ♪_

Phoenix Rising From what I can gather from the transcript, some guy he talked to in some debate or something? It's hard when you're listening to a stream of consciousness

Ikr, somedays it's like he's on too much Ritalin, wth is his doctor prescribing him?

I think he's talking about Lester Holt in the presidential debates, when he was last talking about taxation, but doesn't remember Holt's name. It's basically free-association coming out of his mouth with no indication that his mind has wandered to a different time and context.

Roj H Things like this make me really start to think that he's senile. This is not something that people in their right mind do.

+Roj You can see Gerard Baker helping Trump out numerous times in the full transcript. BAKER: The partisanship, you mean? BAKER: Repatriation rate. BAKER: But we can’t expect any more staff changes in the immediate - in the immediate future? There are some exchanges that are just insane. Read this part and DON'T assume Trump knows who Mueller is. Read it with the idea that Trump is trying to bluff his way through, and has no fucking clue what the convo is about. ("WSJ" is one of the three reporters in the room.) WSJ: What about Bob Mueller? TRUMP: It’s a very important, very important thing. WSJ: I mean, but, Bob Mueller is also really the one leading this investigation. It’s his job to see - TRUMP: Well, we’re going to see. BAKER: And he’s investigating Russia - your Russian connection - WSJ: He’s the Russian guy. So Sessions has recused himself, but is Bob Mueller’s job safe? There is speculation - (Only then does Trump remember who Mueller is and finally answers with "There’s nobody on the campaign that saw anybody from Russia. We had nothing to do with Russia." Also insane, but whatever.) Baker seemed to be seriously propping 45 up. Trump was asked about tax reform and bangs on - and on - about lowering *corporate* taxes. Baker steps in to get him to mention personal tax rates. The first sentence was all Trump could muster about tax reform for the little guy. TRUMP: Yeah, we want to do personal. BAKER: Yeah, want to do personal taxes and want to make - so whatever cuts in the rates that there are - the marginal rates there are will be balanced by the reduction in deductions, so that the people who benefit from especially at the high end would not - overall would not be net beneficiaries of tax cuts, right? TRUMP: Right.

Because they are one of three things, racists bigots, or sheeple.

More like a national anxiety med.

President Camacho was a genius compared to this orange idiot.

including the assassination or no?

CJI cartoon Trump must be pretty great. Althpugh Trump is kinda bad at communicating his plans, he has made really good deals and such

That moment you realize that you can’t get over the fact that Hillary lost so you still complain. Suck it up libtard

Sift Nick this has nothing to do with Hillary we just don’t like trump because we don’t agree with his policies

Right in there with the porn star who is suing him has a better lawyer.

Mercedes Martinez god left us

God is as imaginary as Mr Elegant, or Donalds brain, so that's not happening. Buuut, if any gods are out there: What Martinez said :-D

Mercedes Martinez your false prophet cannot save you now!

Mercedes Martinez GOD DIED WHEN YOU CHOSE A MOLDY CLEMENTINE AS YOUR LEADER

God doesn't exist. We're fucked. Welcome the dictatorship of oligarchy. Corporate States of America.

Nixon was a genius, An EVIL Genius...FART45 is just brain damaged and greedy.

Nixon only made one mistake: the cover up, trump on the other hand has been making mistakes since he came out the womb!

Trump makes me wish Nixon was president again

thank you

Trump makes over-cooked asparagus look like a genius.

Number 1 in happiness, Norway. Also heavily taxed. Hmmmmm....

+Bits of Pulp Yeah, it's almost as if wealth redistribution and quality public services are actually a good thing. Of course, nobody could've ever known that...

The problem is that such a strategy for "happiness" only works if you have nearly no corruption in your government. Not every country can just raise the taxes to more than half your salary and expect to be as happy as Norway or Denmark, unfortunately

+Much Doge : True, but corruption is not exclusive to countries with high tax rates. When you follow low tax rate policies at the expense of public and social services, corruption will still be present wherever there's a budget to be managed (see: Spain). Anyway, freezing tax rates is far from the economical panacea that fiscal conservatists would like you to believe: those policies do nothing for the middle class, and only really benefit large corporations in the short run (in the long run, not even corporations really benefit, as the lack of expenditure in quality of education, healthcare, and public infrastructure put a hold on productivity).

Bits of Pulp i thought Norway had the highst taxes but yes Danmark is the happiest place. Viggo Mortensen said IT was because Their standards were so Low XD

Vinny L hey, it's entertaining enough

Vinny L me too haha

I'm watching this at 3:25 am kill me.

Donald Trump is also watching this at 4am.

Vinny L 3.45 am here and I don't know if I'll be able to go back to sleep........creeeepy

You're kidding, right? If you don't see the difference, then you HAVE to be a tRump supporter...

That part where Colbert completely takes Trump out of context? This show should be canceled.

john oliver proved that a speech made only with the first word of the predictive text of an i phone can make more sense than a speech of the president of the united states

And apparently, he has been sober his entire life

Luis Navarro but if they're actual quotes why do they have to be read by an impressionist?

It's called satire people.

Yeah like Jhina.

If his lips are moving he's lying.