Yes, she should've dipped into her pocket for a random note and written "Learn about endangered pygmy ants". UNLESS he said "Oh, cancel those, I've got 'Study for The Big Exam'" ... in which case she'll get through that entire list AND have sorted her shoes.
I feel it is my place here as a fleetingly helpful observer to wait until you're actually working usefully on your agreed "one" topic and then casually enquire how you're going with two or three big picture things. When we've established that you haven't made any headway on them, I will try to impress upon you how important these things are, an suggest that perhaps you ought to make a list.
Lol there is never time! Time is a luxury the adhd brain doesn't have. It's like being on fast forward all the time. Like, the clocks move faster just for me.
Pick one, get started on that, then realize you have to do a different task, NOT on the list, to finish the original task. Ope... but there's something else you have to do to finish the second task. Suddenly you've spent all day completing the one task. Example: "Clean the bedroom" "Oh, I put this away in the drawer and realized that's a mess, so I need to redo all my drawers to complete cleaning the bedroom." "Ope... I should order new socks and underwear, while I was cleaning out the drawers, I realized I don't have enough." "Oh, I should pay the credit card when I place that order." "Hmm... I should go over my budget before I make a payment." "Huh... I keep losing track of my money, I should make a spreadsheet to track all my finances." "I really don't use that account, I should cancel it." "Well while I'm making phone calls, I should order a refill for my meds." "Okay I need to go to the grocery store to pick up my meds, I should do my grocery shopping while I'm there." "I should check the fridge to see what I need..." "Oh I should clean out this fridge." And on and on and on and on.
I love picking one, then when I'm satisfied because I did the one, I get that happy energy and I do All The Things EXCEPT the rest of the list. Yesterday I reorganized my entire film collection, started a new crochet project, cleaned my office, and got 2 weeks ahead on school all because I couldn't take half an hour to do the dishes. Pick ONE. If you're lucky, you might accidentally hyperfocus on another.
Me too lol. I then went to my closest friend of 11 year's house. She has ADHD. I helped with a few things, then looked at her extreme pile of dishes and decided to clean her sink, counters and dishes except for the ones that had live larva in it. After having bed bugs this year that was my limit lol. I knew it would help her feel less overwhelmed if I got her started and her kitchen didn't feel chaotic in the midst of the moving out chaos.
Especially lately, I feel like a superhero if I manage basic hygiene. I'm basically God if I can do that AND a small load of hand washed dishes. I have to remind myself that this will change and I won't always be in *this* rut, so I don't get completely mired in depression and shame.
Today I managed laundry AND my shopping. If I can get together the motivation, I might manage a shower. It is HIGHLY unlikely that I'll manage to pack a lunch for work tomorrow, but a man can dream.
@@didemkilinc ok, brain scrambled the instructions, and I cleaned the floor instead. Still - I am apparently getting things done right now, so I'm going to ride this train as far as I can.
Once in a blue moon you get a great day where you get it all done so you start to wonder if you aren't actually ADHD, and then the next day you're screwed.
I once had someone tell me that if their ADHD/Neurodivergant student was having a good day, she would advise them to go home. She told me it was because once their Gen-ed teachers would see their best, their expectations for them would skyrocket to a point that the student could never achieve.
You only get ONE lmaooo. I love the acceptance of that fact...because you know why it works? Accepting you only do one will often take the pressure off enough that it -might- kickstart a productivity hyperfocus and you get them ALL done AND you also reorganize a book shelf!!!! And then you go back to 0 for the next three weeks because you can coast rip
Yeah unfortunately not for my brain😢..It's ABSOLUTELY ALL or ABSOLUTELY NOTHING... Most of the time nothing but when it finally happens, its hyper focused and fast😅
@@Musical_Maverick haha, oh nooooo! honestly i changed industries from corporate hellscape (turns out having undiagnosed ADHD means you get fired and your confidence DESTROYED from a lot of those jobs) to hospitality/wine and Im thriving....amongst my other neurodivergents, lol. The confidence bit helps loads. I know "change your career" is an extremely dramatic statement but you can find neurodivvy outlets in other places! were wayyyyy more common than you'd expect :)
I’m ADHD and not loving it, my girlfriend was always getting frustrated with me before she found out how ADHD works, but then, with these TikTok’s as a gateway, used her amazing analytical and research driven brain to research everything. She has since bought your book and has been the most supportive person in my life ever since, we are on chapter 3 together. Thank you guys
It’s all about “knowing”….knowledge is the answer….then we understand, then we can help.( if we’re nice enough)…remember there’s always those who KNOW, but don’t care….so bless you both.have a lovely , interesting journey….I got adhd too…( get overwhelmed quickly)😝
Lol! I can do three on a good day. Two on a medium day. One on a bad day. And on the very bad days? Get out of bed and feed myself, are the only things I can accomplish! I love your channel and thank you so much for helping me except and be patient with myself on all of the days!
4:30 in the afternoon. Haven’t showered, haven’t dressed, haven’t eaten, but I have plowed through 8 episodes of my show while sewing on a quilt that I started 5 years ago. 😂 I can’t do anything else cuz I have a birthday party to go to at 7pm. Maybe I should shower now…
As someone who was diagnosed as an adult, I find these videos really comforting, thank you. And yeah, I plan for three items. One done is a success, two is good, three is amazing and very rare.
@@JamieDynan I often feel like I might! But I can't. I guess it's obligation. Children must be tended to regardless of how I feel. But I do not recommend renovating if you have young children and adhd and homeschool lolb
I actually NEED lists. Like if it’s all floating around my head I get overwhelmed and paralyzed with inaction and then I forget things. If I write it all down, I can focus on one without fear of forgetting the others. Just don’t talk to me or ask me about the others while I’m doing one cause I’ll stress out and get distracted and never finish the first one.
Lists work, more or less until I forget/ lose em. Then find em down the line again crumpled in a pocket or bag or a notebook that I've forgotten to look at. Talk about a muddle. 🙄🤷♀️
@@spk8131duuuuuude yes! I've not been officially diagnosed with this but at one point during some stressful moments almost two years ago, when I had to explain or try to explain what I was experiencing to a family member, I had told them it was like my brain automatically absorbs everything that is happening whether I want it to or not therefore I was not able to focus, severely distracted etc etc and it was like my brain was downloading so much crap I felt like a computer 😔
YAAAAASSSS unless of course all those tasks were somehow urgently due by tomorrow morning, in which case I will get them ALL done in the final two harrowing hours of my day.... Because if I'm not panicked, I'm not motivated. 😆
When I was at university a couple of decades ago now, I only used to start/do my essays once the deadline had passed because I knew they didn't take the bucket away (the other side of the door/post box) until 6am the next morning. I was forever grateful to knowledgeable students who passed that information down. I would stay up all night doing it, but I could not work unless I was under serious pressure, and it always worked
@@x-starlight-x oh my word! I can relate! library books . . . I know they don't check the book drop until 10 am the day after they are due. sometimes I'm dropping them off at 1am. sometimes at 9:59am!!!!
I can’t stand that word. It’s applied in so many situations and is usually not the issue with the person alleged to be lazy. When I hear it I try to find out what’s going on and how to help.
Sometimes for me "laundry" means putting the dirty clothes in the laundry bag. Next day taking the bag infront of the washing machine, and if that wasn't a struggle put the clothes in, if I get distracted because there are other priority stuff, then the clothes go in the following day. I follow a similar rule for putting the dishes in the dishwasher and honestly I get chores done in a week instead of a month. This is why I think I might have ADHD lol
Hear, hear, I hear ya. It’s always felt like I do life on a tricycle, right next to the highway where normal people zoom through life at an automobile pace.
The hardest part is taking them out and hanging them up to dry, at least if you don't have a dryer (and no space even if you wanted one). Definitely need a high energy day for that step...
@@niwa_s Sometimes it's worth it to rewash them the next day just to avoid hanging them out. Gotta love white vinegar for getting the smell out if they get a little funky!
@@Maeda_Miakoda_Gaming I just add some laundry sanitizer by default. Goes where you'd put fabric softener, but it does nothing to the fabric, it's just antibacterial. Since bacteria are what causes the smell, it's the best prevention. Also allows me to lower the washing temp when I do have to go for multiple "launs" before I manage a "dry". Less strain on both clothes, my energy bill... and my neighbours' nerves, because re-washing usually happens at night and lower temp cycles are significantly shorter.
Pick one, and then make the minute list of all the steps that have to be done to do that one thing (put clothes on, put shoes on, pack gym bag, get into the car, drive to gym, lock the car, walk to the building, drop off stuff in locker, plan a workout, do the workout, take a shower, get dressed, go to car, etc etc etc... this is why we get overwhelmed!)
@@doe9000 When your executive function is fully functional, you can just get into a routine and not have to think about all the steps. Go to the gym? Okay, let me grab my gym bag and go. All the other stuff is just automatic. And there's no continuous multiple internal thoughts all at once. You can even take days off and get back to the routine without starting completely from zero again! Or so I hear, I'm the ADHD person getting overwhelmed by everything that has to get done to leave the house and get to the gym, and everything that has to get done once I come home, and ugh why bother when I can doomscroll instead.
I understand this overwhelmed feeling so well. Similarly if there are a few consecutive days where there's something happening each of the days I feel overwhelmed and wish I had a days break between those days
I go to bed every night convinced and determined I can try harder to get everything done tomorrow and make a nice list for myself. Sometimes I make it longer, sometimes I'm like I will get them done if I just focus on four main points. But either way, 99% of mornings I wake up, completely forget said list as I'm just trying to survive the day, and only remember the to do list/schedule at night or if I happen to do one of the tasks and remember it because yay I can check it off! 🤣
Not even just getting overwhelmed. I get extreme fatigue after finishing one task its as if thats all the energy I had for the day. Other than the 1 main task, everything else is handled at random! I find that to be my best method. I don't keep a count anymore about what I'm doing and not doing anymore. Wow, I just realized that I finally found peace with this.
My to do list today: feed the chickens, go to three grocery stores, put the groceries away, do the laundry, do the dishes, make dinner, change the sheets and take a shower. I was doing great until I got to the first grocery store, which had a terrible high pitched alarm going off in the back the whole time, which plugging my ears did not help with. I skipped the last store, got home and almost immediately had a meltdown on the pantry floor when I knocked the peach jar over. Fortunately I'm home alone and I can watch youtube shorts with a blanket over my head while I attempt to regulate my sensory overload. Lets hope I can get back out of bed before my husband comes home 😅
Yeah, you still rock even if ya' don't feel that way. But I must say I totally relate to the blanket over the head feeling. I thought I was the only one lol🙃, to kinda cope with the sensory overload type of feeling. But if it is any consolation I give you props for doing as well as you do. Even if every day is not so "productive" in that way we so often expect of ourselves. Sometimes it's OK to give ourselves a pat on the back for even just the little things. Hope that makes sense❤. Thanks for making a lot of us feel more understood and sending you all the good vibes❣
You are so sweet! Thank you! After doom scrolling for an hour or two, I pulled myself up and did a load of dishes and managed to make dinner. I still have laundry and more dishes, but I'm feeling better! Self care is the best medicine when not overused 🥰
I hope everything went well for you! Sometimes getting a nap helps reset my brain and feelings when overloaded from a bad day. It's like starting a new day when I wake up.
For years I’ve believed I MUST have anxiety because why else would my life feel so chaotic? At 37 I’m just now learning it wasn’t anxiety, depression, laziness, or irresponsibility….it’s ADD. Who knew?
This, no joke, made a major difference in how I approach house work. Ohhhhh… use hyper focus day after day to finally get organized and sorted! Many thanks for what you do 🙏🙏🙏
Right on! List are great. Too many things give me anxiety, and the the worst part is hyper focusing on those games on the IPad. And procrastinating. Yep list are great. I’ve been making them daily For 40 yrs. It’s a great feeling crossing out a few things. I even have trouble calling people and doing paperwork. Reading bills and that sorta thing.
She was on second line and I was like "yeah, write the week days on the side as well, cuz I'll probably only get to do one each day" a whole week planned right there 😅
Written lists are okay for me just don't talk about the list while I work on that one item. When I am done we can move on to another item but I never actually finish the list.
Same. I only actually write a list when the one thing I've chosen has intricate subtasks that I need to remember like cooking a complex meal or when I have to break down a big chore into little bits to avoid overwhelm like deep-cleaning the kitchen. In all other cases, talking about or writing down a to-do list guarantees those tasks will never even be started. 😅
As a ADHD mom...this is sooo true! My daughter -ADHD- would "Clean her room" by throwing everything in the hallway and then do the ONE thing she intended to do all along.....meanwhile guess who's stuck cleaning up the hallway....🫣 And....this would consume an entire 24 he period
it's all good! :) I find making the list helps me figure out what is "important" and what is genuinely important. like yeah having a shower is "important" but actually, feeding the cat is more important, so I need to go to the shop to buy him some food. Then I can get home and feel too overwhelmed for a shower, but at least the cat will have food.
Accept and Love yourselfe like you are! Tell this every day to yourselfe and be proud of every little task (even brushing your teeth) you did. Set your Alarm for this . After one year I feel a hugh effect. Good luck! ❤
I’ve actually started not consciously creating a list otherwise I get stressed over even the THOUGHT of having responsibilities and end up staying in bed all day🤣
I relate to this comment 100%. I have also started writing down what I actually accomplish or started, and it's a little nicer... but I'm currently laying in bed, trying to get myself into the shower.
@@WillemPenn for me who is ADHD and autistic it’s more like “oooooh,shiny thing! I will dead ass be in a conversation with my grandmother about something serious and some make up commercial/perfume advert or something comes on the TV and I completely zone out and stare at the TV. Just the “oooooh SHINee!!”
Your videos have helped my daughter immensely and they also help me to understand what she is feeling, and for that, I will be forever grateful to you two big thanks. 💚
And for me usually it's the easiest or quickest thing to finish in the list. Usually do it at night when I'm wondering how the whole day ended so soon.
I appreciate this so much. Cuz I constantly feel bad about only getting one thing done on the to do list and being either burnt out or the day being over already.
I don't technically have ADHD, but thanks to illness changing how my brain works, I now often function as if I do. Your videos really help explain so much! Despite being a former special ed teacher & parent of guys with ADD, you videos have taught me & others so much! Thank you!
I have to pick one, and so I plan way in the future, like, I’m prepping for Tuesdays event Sunday, sorry of thing. From watching one of your previous videos, I realized my brain overwhelms me when I think of doing a simple task. So, every morning, I’ve been meticulously writing out what’s most important to do-breaking tasks down into their smaller, manageable parts for me. Now, if I could just not freak out when I don’t complete a task in my preferred timeline…
😮🎉you all gave me the biggest compliment. It took me 3 years to be able to do up to 3 things on the list! However, it might be a few weeks before it’s revisited 😅. It really is true how every one task breeds a million little tasks, side quests, memories, creative inspirations. Thank you for showing this!
Lol this makes me feel so normalllll!!!! I would always get frustrated at myself for never being able to hit my whole list! But I would get honestly so overwhelmed that I physically would not be able to make myself do more than one task 😢
There's been a few videos I've watched of yours now. I have an adult ADHD diagnosis, and I've spent most of my life-time abusing the s*** out of myself for what is essentially ADHD. Watching these videos makes me feel less useless, and less alone. They allow me to be kind to myself. Thank you.
🙏Thank you so much for these entertaining little snacks. I’m a married 45 yo woman, recently diagnosed with ADHD. I love the way your content infuses comedy with sharing information and awareness. I’m learning new insights into my brain and habits, and having fun sharing the new found knowledge with my husband. Hope you both are having a pleasant day. ☀️
PS my nickname in college was “the accidental asshole” for my blunt truthfulness and honesty. Not sure if you’ve made any content on that topic but figured I’d share in case it offers you some inspo. 😀
‼️😱‼️😱I’m finally understanding myself and feeling seen, thanks to info like this. I KEEP having breakdowns crying, frustrated, telling my husband that I think something is wrong with me… and he doesn’t see it. he loves me but I think he truly just believes that I’m lazy. It crushes my heart. I want to be “normal” sooo badly. I dream of being productive every day and making progress towards my dreams. I always make a big to-do list and at the end of every day, I beat myself up because I’ve only completed one thing and I don’t understand why, it doesn’t seem to make logical sense at all. It feels like I can never get ahead in life. It takes up all my time and energy just doing the basic things alone like washing dishes, laundry, cleaning and cooking. Then I feel mentally drained and no energy left to invest in my dreams. I wish there was a natural way to treat this instead of dangerous pharmaceuticals.
I’ve watched ‘em all, and your book was delivered yesterday. I’m sure y’all get this loads, but thank you for just saying it and spreading understanding.
Thats why, no matter how im feeling, after work i do one thing because even if i can only do one thing ill still feel a lot better doing that one things than doing nothing at all and my priority is lunch for tomorrow and clothing so i often get a load of laundry in while making food
It's honestly been the best way to go about my day to choose one thing to do per day instead of trying to do everything and getting overwhelmed and not being able to do anything
This is close to the truth. ‘Making dinner’ for my (v fussy) family of 5 takes up about half my daily productivity & time. I hate cooking & keep trying to think of ways to get out of it!
I’d like to tell you my system for cooking when I had several children at home with me. I make a menu on Sunday, depending on what’s on sale this week, but usually I stuck to: Monday - Pasta , any kind of spaghetti, lasagna, goulash. Spaghetti is the easiest and anyone can help, boil noodles, cook meat, pour in the sauce, add extras if you have time. Tuesday was chicken, baked is easiest for me, put something on chicken pieces like cheese or oil and lemon pepper, bake about 30-45 minutes. You know you can wash and throw a whole chicken in the crockpot to cook all day. Just add spices. Wednesday was casserole, Thursday was fish (tuna casserole, or soup, sandwich and salad, Friday is always “Pizza and a Movie Night!”. Easy to remember what to buy at the grocery store . I used the crock pot about 3 times a week. But a system of Monday-Pasta, Tuesdays-chicken, Wednesday-casserole, Thursday-soup or fish, then always Friday-Pizza was nutritious and easy.
I just used chat GPT to make my grocery list and meal 🥺🥺🥺 it would take me hours of days if I was really excited about new recipes and being extra planned
I was scrolling earlier and one of your older videos came up. My husband finally heard someone else struggle with words like I do and he kinda got it. He speaks me just fine but the fact that you speak babes made him smile. That is love. Learning the language of unknown words and jibberish. Thank you.
laundry def takes aaalll my energy xD T^T. especially cause i need to go to the laundromat that adds 5 extra executive function steps + uncomfortable social interactions i absolutely have minus 5 spoons for -_-
Often it's nearly dinner time by the time I feel motivated to cook. But of course I have to buy the ingredients first because buying them ahead of time results in waste. Go in for two items and end up coming home with twenty items but not the main ingredient. Overwhelm sets in and I resort to uber again with a promise that I'll cook that tomorrow. Waste ensues.
And this is how I know I need a diagnosis (this has gone on my reasons why I'm neurospicy playlist so I can compile everything in preparation for when I've been able to get a new gp and get a diagnosis referral). Because in order to do all those tasks, I need my to do list to include showering, getting ready, taking meds, what admin tasks need to be done and those broken down into their component steps so I don't forget any of it, what I'm actually cleaning in the car - am I just emptying the boot? The glovebox? Does it need to be vacuumed? Am I detailing the outside? What am I having for dinner? What ingredients go into it? What do I need to do to have them ready for cooking?
So true. Getting just 1 always works wonder and leave the rest for next days. But never worry, I always end every day with a big thing I randomly complete.
I love your videos! Seeing the things you guys experience in your relationship is helping me be more aware of the same things in my relationship. Keep up all the awesome, fun videos!
You start off overwhelmed, then having to decide which one to pick adds to that. Going round stressing over which one is the priority can even mean none get daone on a bad day as I just get stuck trying to decide which to do and how to start. On a good day, I can work through a few.
These videos are strangely addicting. Plus, by watching them I see how I have some ADHD tendencies... we all do! PS Rox is super cute! Love the purple/black half and half hair.
ONE! is the one that I have to remember to do without fail and I have to stress about being on time and what I need to wear and when I need to shower to get ready and have enough time to get there on time and when I need to start getting ready to be there. Everything else is a side quest as long as I don’t get too focused on it that I forget that I need to make sure that I don’t forget that one thing that needs to get done! ❤
Knew I was ADHD when I explained to my sister how I’ll make a really organized list or schedule. Feel proud, followed quickly by panic/overwhelm/anger at the jerk who made this long complicated list for me. Throw it out. Repeat cycle. She looked at me completely perplexed by this behavior.
