Omg! I got diagnosed last week and ever since I've had the exact same feelings of 'imposter syndrome '. Thinking "what if I subconsciously altered the result because I've done so much research" or "is this really what I've been struggling with for so long or am I just lazy and unreliable like everyone has told me my whole life". But then I watch videos like yours and I feel like you're describing my brain! After seeing your medication vlog I CAN'T WAIT to start the medication so I can finally see what potential I have when functioning like a 'normal' person. Thank you ☺️
I can't thank you enough for this video. I just got diagnosed at 52, and I have gone through all the stages you've so kindly shared. Your section on forgetfulness was particularly powerful for me, as it was so closely aligned with what I'm feeling now. I had to rewind it several times to get through it because I am at that stage where I a realizing how much I have learned to work around memory problems. I started counting how often it was happening, and it was shocking. I see my doctors again this week to start discussing meds, and I am already doing CBT with my therapist. To hear of your experiences is both powerful and validating. I haven't watched the rest of the video, though, as I am terrified that nothing will work for me. I may ask my partner to watch it for me and report back lol. Seriously though, thank you very much. You've helped a stranger a great deal today.
@@rachdoesyoutube Thanks for this reply! Update: I've been taking Vyvance for 3 months now and it's amazing how much better my life has become in such a short time. Cheers!
@@rachdoesyoutube You managed to really highlight some of the things I feel, and luckily after reading too many ADHD memes I got diagnosed. I've spent so much of my life trapped by this disorder.
My life is too hectic right now as it turns out to be seeking a diagnosis, as I'm about to be moving, but this video very much sums up my experience so far looking into ADHD as a 27 year-old. I know it's irresponsible to think of myself as "having it" without the diagnosis, but my mind keeps coming back to these feelings even when I'm trying not to think that way. I've noticed so many more patterns in my behavior, especially with housekeeping. I've been able to track chains of distractions in ways that I never noticed before. I relate so, so much to your experience and your view of yourself that you've reflected on. Probably more than anyone else I've watched on RU-vid about ADHD. That does ease my imposter syndrome somewhat but it's definitely still there. The only solution I suppose is to get a diagnosis. Hopefully my life calms down soon and I can dedicate the mental energy to do that.
I hear you - I think it's very personal to you and what will help you feel validated and move forwards. Keep being kind to yourself as you wait for things to calm down 💛
Hang in there. I'm in a similar situation. I have an evaluation scheduled for a couple months out, but I know exactly what you mean about self-diagnosing. I think the important thing is to stay grounded and remember that you're still waiting on a diagnosis, but your suspicions about ADHD are probably founded. I'm sort of living under the assumption that I have it until I'm proven wrong.
I hope you have gotten/will get an assessment. I had the same feelings - ‘oh wow this aligns to me but I’m not diagnosed’ - Then last week I was diagnosed with combined ADHD and my life has changed. I am in the imposter syndrome stage. I don’t know how I’m going to break the news to my parents as I am sure they won’t believe me. Think I will keep it to myself until I have finished processing it. That way when they tell me I’m wrong, I won’t care. Fun times.
Thank you for sharing! This is exactly how I felt when I was diagnosed, especially the imposter syndrome where I didn’t think I had/have things bad enough to “deserve” a diagnosis. I especially relate to your thoughts on coping mechanisms and motivation…this is definitely me! Please keep making these videos 💕
Beautiful videos, I've introduced the concept of my gf having adhd but I wasnt sure because I dont know what it's like in women. She was recently diagnosed and she doesnt quite beleive it either. Your video helped her understand it more and it helps to have others voice their understanding and experiences with it. I've also struggled with it and have only recently understood at 36 that I had adhd. Congrats to everyone getting through their lives the best they can !!
Thank you for making this. I'm a 35 year old guy in the US just got diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type. This has helped a lot. I feel how you feel a lot of the time.
Have been diagnosed couple weeks ago, went through the same rollercoaster! The experiences of others going through this resonate so strong, i can't help but feel closely related to fellow neurodivergents! Cheers!
Thank you so much for making this und your other ADHd Videos. While I don't have an official diagnosis, I totaly relate to all you are saying. Especially the Part about Not having any willpower or motivation. It can't be easy to be this candid on the Internet, but it is so amazingly helpfull to see someone! Thank you so much for putting all this helpfull content out there.
This had a much cheerier end 😊 “I feel at peace” ❤ and the shorter life expectancy from risk taking 👀 yupppppp Thank you for once again being so open and letting us into your experiences
Thank you for sharing your experience and thought, it's so relatable and honestly somewhat reassuring. I keep coming back to ADHD and wondering if I might have it, because I just feel like simple tasks are so /hard/, and I have to wrangle down a wall of demotivation for a 2min task, or even things I want to do and know I'll enjoy (and probably can't stop) once I start, like reading a book. But then the effects on people's lives that generally get listed are so incredibly severe, like you mention, like addiction problems, dropping out of school... and I'm over here getting a phd, so maybe I'm perfectly normal, maybe I'm just lazy and want an excuse. But then all the other phd students in a recent course on productivity had significantly different struggles than me, with my lack of motivation and concentration, so I'm wondering again. And on one hand I feel it's worth exploring the option, because what if life really could be easier and somewhat under my control; but on the other hand the wall of demotivation standing between me and "starting the path towrads a potential diagnosis" is a really really big one :^) I will definitely check out more of your videos because I relate so much to how you decribe your struggles
Watched your first taking meds video and now this. Insane to see people experience life so summerly. Both videos so much relatable, thanks for sharing this :D
Your videos are a joy to watch! I'm here, laughing and smiling at your jokes and finding you so relatable. It's been an informative past hour listening to you and honestly just a fun time too! (Going to finish the second half of the video now haha)
Thank you so much for posting this!! I can relate so much. With this video and the next one on meds, I was in actual tears because you’ve put my experience into words. I was just last month, diagnosed with adhd at age 43. I am waiting to get in with a prescriber because my current psychiatric nurse practitioner will not prescribe stimulants because she thinks it can all be solved by being more organized 🤣
That’s astounding Kristie, I can’t believe her ignorance. You will either need to educate her or find a knowledgeable, practitioner to help you. Good luck!
I finally remembered to pick up my prescription ( was supposed to pick it up 8 days ago but forgot 😂😂) Anyway your video has encouraged me to give it a go with my meds but going to start on Saturday. I find your videos really, really helpful so thankyou 💗💗💗 P.S It's so good that you've got your diagnosis before having kids! Because that inner critic is a right b@#$rd!!! Especially when you're doing your best but don't feel like you're doing enough! 8:06 And this is what others don't get! The amount of shit I've took through a lack of understanding. I have willpower but struggle with organisation!
Thank you for sharing 💜 I have always had anxiety/panic attacks and some depression. But now, at age 41, I was diagnosed with ADHD. It all makes sense now, but the medication that the doctor prescribed is literally sitting in my cabinet. I'm terrified to take it (side effects, I suppose), though I desperately need a change. I'm an anxious moody mess, and I've got littles to care for! I need to try the Concerta sitting there...18mg. Ugh, I hate this.
Thanks for watching 😊 It's a hard spot to exist in - when you know something needs to change but the thought of it is also so daunting! Just remember there's a whole community out there that get it 💛
It felt like for me, it took a long time to really truly accept it, and then to try and self-monitor and then develop discipline in ways I never knew were not, for example, socially acceptable... but I just felt like all my life I didn't know who I was or why I was here, but my diagnosis of autism and adhd unlocked a world for me to find who I truly was... the fact of the matter is that I am not ADHD, I am not Autism... I am a human named Kaleb and I know how my brain processes senses, emotions, and what neurons are firing and when. It's like I know myself through and through after years of researching. The thing is, I won't have understanding from most people, but I have my really tight knit group that I know I can be myself and not have to mask almost anything. l can be in those social situations for hours, but if I'm in a situation that is uninteresting and where I have to ACT in a certain way, I get exhausted so fast... recharging is important as well... I'm glad more and more people are sharing awareness for these things, because when I was a teen and in my early twenties, it was really hard for me and I felt so lost in this world. So in a long drawn out adhd way... thank you for sharing your story with such a real, oversimplified and overlooked diagnosis.
To anyone reading this, ask for a Sleep Study before you jump to the ADHD diagnosis. I took adderall, concerta, ritalin for all my teen years thinking I had ADHD when I really had a sleep disorder. as a result I now have adrenal issues and it's been incredibly difficult to heal my adrenal system. I cannot stress how important it is to get a sleep study first for anyone who hasn't yet. If I had got a sleep study done instead of being sure I had ADHD, I'd have saved myself years of mental health issues as a direct effect of being sleep deprived and on amphetamines. I seriously hope this helps even just one person. please explore your health fully. there is not one easy answer
Hi Rachel, thanks for this - there is so much in what you say that I can relate to. May I ask - did you get your diagnosis through a private consultation or via the NHS? I'd be interested for myself but can't imagine, being a senior citizen, that the NHS would consider me a priority!
Thanks for watching Daniel ❤ I went private - I've had a few questions about this so I'll post a future video about my experience of getting diagnosed.
Diagnosed at 52 and got concerta the same day , only had to wait ten days to see the psychiatrist. Usually have to wait or pay unless you are a maniac. I'm definitely less impulsive I would do things without thought and it was even a surprise to myself
Hi I am loving your videos. I am trying to find one where you go through the assessment. I am currently awaiting the gp referral through Right to Choose to one of their chosen psychiatrists but would happily pay for the assessment but can't work out how to do it as they say even if you pay you are going into the same position on the list as referral from NHS. Plus did you manage to get shared care so you don't have to pay for all your prescriptions ongoing? Sorry for the barage of questions I am just trying to find out details from someone who has experience, TIA x
I have all the symptoms you describe but pretty sure i'm just lazy.. If I take Ritalin it does make me super productive and things really easy, but isn't that why people abuse amphetamines... The one thing that makes me think I could possibly have ADD is that I CANNOT absorb information in a lecture/classroom setting... I just spent 1.5 years getting a Diploma in Conservation and land management........BUT I CANT REMEMBER 1 THING!!! My base intelligence/IQ has got me through all education but some learning methods simply do not register with my brain. I feel like if im not 100% interested in the subject, my brain simply refuses to hold the information.
same here. I'm 28 year old trainee electrician and i work 25 to 27 days straight. i have very hard time finishing tasks because slow information processing speed and tiredness! i don't know this is ADD/ADHD or not but i'm suffering nevertheless.
This video fills me with so much hope. That day you described at the end is my every day, but it sounds like it doesn't have to be that way. I am very much looking forward to that.
With regards to the coping strategies put in place well enough to mask the adhd, you still deserve proper treatment. I am 41 and just was diagnosed despite all my super coping strategies that made me seem on top everything and like I had all my shit together. After so many decades of hyperfunctioning to make up for my adhd, I ended up completely burned out. I wonder what my experience would have been had I been diagnosed earlier.
Tammy - are you in my head? 🤣 I am currently working through this exact thing. I think I've mistakenly thought I was functioning this whole time and now, four months after my diagnosis, i'm like 'ohhhh no, I'm burned out and have been on a cycle of burnout for a while now.' Lots to work through. Have you listened to The ADHD Adults podcast? That's got some great stuff on grieving what could have been etc.
I was diagnosed a couple of months ago and just started on a low dose of meds, but I have also done a ton of research, so here are my reflections on what you are experiencing : 1) I personally love that its linked to a physical condition, because it makes it more tangible for me. 2) Feeling like you don't have it bad enough when looking at others - check! What I have come to realize is that this is a mix of symptoms and we all have them in different degrees, so you cant compare to others as a baseline. 3) Coping mechanisms to remember - check! If I need to focus, I will literally tell myself out loud to apply myself (not in the office) 4) Feeling bad about yourself...maybe not so much, because Im in my 40s and just accepted a long time ago, that I was not as good/great at things as others. I also realized that it was a good opportunity to actually praise myself for achiving the things I have in life, in spite of this condition. 5) Anxiety - be mindful of this creeping in, because it can severely limit your life if it gets to take hold.
What is that? Idk, is it that feeling shit. I’m bad at words one second. Okay, so since starting medication I’ve started to learn to trust myself, and trust everyone else less; because I can do things now, I can do everything, anything I want and I am very good at it, and learn exceptionally quickly. That said, it’s only when I’m medicated which now is all the time, it’s just there are days I don’t believe it. I don’t believe I am the person I am being, doing things I could never do; it’s like someone else is inside me doing these things for me. I know better but it doesn’t feel real to be able to do things.
Nothing so far has resonated with me on my deep dive since diagnosis. I feel totally able to relate to everything you describe. Thank you xx Im in New Zealand but wish I was back in the UK as here adult adhd is only beginning to be acknowledged, its impossible to get diagnosis in the public system and very difficult to find and pay for a private psychiatrist who then cant prescribe but can apply for a special authority for a GP to manage medication if you can find one on board with the idea. Good old NHS!
I’ve got diagnosed officially a week ago and started my medication few days after. Yesterday I watched the other part, today I’ve got day off from medication and I must say I feel you so much! The medication is so eye opening! And today I’m tired all day long even I move non stop, as I can’t stop. I’ve been always this way, hard to accept it, but ADHD is such a big struggle without realising that!
I like that you tried a day not taking medication because I think it helps with the early stages of diagnosis, where it is common to have imposter syndrome... it helps because you HAVE to self-monitor and although meds don't cure ADHD, they certainly help with emotionally regulation, focus, discipline, etc... not always, but it helps... So to take a day to not be on it and realize why you actually TRULY HAVE ADHD is important sometimes... I do however want to bring to light, that it is not always a draining day when you don't take your meds... some days, I'm super anxious and I feel drained, but some days I take a break and I feel like a million dollars... it just matters what you're doing, sleep, and other things... like go on a hike by yourself to help your dopaminergic system kind of reset if one day you feel like your meds didn't work quite like how you were experiencing... this is your brain saying because you have developed a huge tolerance to your meds... and sometimes you will feel like they aren't working at all if you take them too many days in a row... I was diagnosed when I was 11, and I'm 29 now... but I had to learn the tools myself because of my family and community being uneducated about their own brains... lol... it's a struggle, but we are all here for each other and understand what it's like to feel like you can't stop the gears from turning... keep going on your journey because all that awaits is peace
It's uncanny the things you went through, the will power struggles vs knowing that I have trudged through all kinds of things that were really hard for me; I was so determined, but lacked motivation. Suddenly being told that struggling with motivation is not a moral failing was the epiphany for me. The feeling like I wasn't struggling enough to have ADHD, that maybe I was just making excuses. After my diagnosis, I suddenly realized why I struggled so much to study. I can't even keep track of the thoughts that distract me anymore but I'm distracted anyway, and suddenly I realize why it's so exhausting/time consuming to get ANYTHING done.
Oh my gosh, so much that you said in this video hits home for me. But the section about ups and downs hits especially hard when you talk about not wanting to do anything or even wanting to choose anything, and especially not wanting to be made to do anything, but also not knowing what the heck to do with yourself. The restlessness you describe in not knowing what to do but being unable to relax feels like a regular experience for me, and this whole mess can go on for days sometimes. I'm waiting for an evaluation, but I'm fairly confident that I have ADHD inattentive type. I relate a little too much with this community for it to be a coincidence.
I was diagnosed in October 2022, 57 years if you can imagine, with my brain in a cauliflower patch! (You said it, and yes, I get it!) I’m really relating to your journey. I didn’t think I could possibly have ADHD because I believed the messages about shame over my brain, lazy, unorganized, not living up to my potential. I didn’t think I deserved a diagnosis too. Im still having imposter syndrome over it. THANK YOU for doing this, I feel less alone.
Hey! I've watched a couple of your videos today and it's funny, because I was also diagnosed in September 2022. The way you experience your ADHD and the things you struggle with remind me so so much of myself - I am diagnosed with the combined type though. I am still dealing with alot of imposter syndrome from time to time watching other ADHD content creators and what they went through in their life (exactly like you described it - so much impulsivity and bad decisions??) and overthinking whether I am misdiagnosed and whether it can be this bad in the first place - I am asking myself, obsessing over watching videos like this for hours about the same topic in instead of sleeping - iconic. It feels very validating to hear about your experience and especially seeing that medication has worked well for you. I've been afraid of trying any medication in case I am misdiagnosed and afraid of the effects it might have on my body. Seeing how it has made a strong impact on your life I might consider trying it out as well - whenever I can find someone to prescribe them to me. Either way, thank you so much for making your videos and sharing your experience with us. I bet there are alot of other people out there who find this to be very helpful. Looking forward to your next uploads!
I think my mother gifted me with an inner cheerleader that has kept me on the treadmill.I am undiagnosed but hopeful.Thank you for sharing your life. I'm sure you have helped so many 💓
I am going through this currently and I appreciate your video so much. I feel really seen. It IS a big deal to get diagnosed as an adult and there's so many times that I'm like "Ohhhh this is an ADHD thing". This kind of content - specifically the fact that you have primarily inattentive diagnosis - is exactly what I need right now when things feel so uncertain. Your video about medication was really helpful too and makes it seem a lot less scary. Honestly I think its impressive that you kept remembering to record the updates! Thanks so much!
Thank you 💛 I appreciate you saying this, and will return to it next time I have a vulnerability hangover from being open or doubt what a big deal it is. We get so used to minimising our struggles!
@@clairberkon4834 Wow, so nice of you to remember and ask☺️ Lots of crying🙁 my regular physician has referred me to the psychiatrist/mental health clinic of the health system. They called me today. I now have a phone appointment on Monday. I was surprised to hear from them so quickly. In her notes for the referral she mentioned a couple things that were traumatizing in my life. I would guess to add to the questionnaire I’ve already completed, so hopefully it doesn’t too complicated to get an initial diagnosis. Even the research and preparation process has already helped me a lot. It’s easier, if you know what’s actually happening and that it’s not just in my head😂. Pun intended.
@@clairberkon4834 update… gen practitioner initial impression ADHD/Anxiety but referred to psychiatry for official dx and treatment. They book 2 months out… no appts avail. On wait list 🙁
I felt the exact same way when I was first diagnosed. Same way about my inner thoughts and chaos. Will power holy f yes. I NEVER give myself any credit, always criticizing, I know what I can and should do... but doing anything is a challenge. I feel so crazy sometimes.
I am about two months post diagnosis. I was and to a degree still am surprised to be a combined type since I thought I was not hyper, till they pointed out how I was hyper. Thank you for publishing this. I relate in a huge way to most everything you said. Oh my God, I have learned just about everything there is to find about ADHD. Yeah, all of the books that I do not have the will power to implement. Damn, the imposter syndrome. Even in am ADHD support group I have a ton of coping methods and systems. But the problems I have, are problems. Procrastination is what feels like the biggest thing. Holy crap. The forgetting little things. I must have been forgetting the whole time, but now I notice!!! Argh!! Friends seem to complain more about me repeating myself. So there's that. And the tiredness in the lulls of the medications. Wow. I use a pill container. I cannot do it otherwise. Load it at the beginning of the week. At the end of the week I know how good or bad I did. Thanks for sharing these videos. I should watch your vids in order, but really just can't. Meds not doing much at all. Really frustrated with that fact.
I've always promissed myself, that if diagnosed with ADHD, I wouldn't tell anyone, to just not make them all think "he's sick and now he's doing fine because some drugs - it's not him anymore, it all is just not his achievement". Yet, I keep talking about it to so many people, although I haven't even got my diagnosis yet. I just tell people, that I'm in the process. Why? Well.. I can't keep anything, I guess. ;-) As well I just feel it's likely going to be such a strong breaking point in my life, that holding to my secrets naturally fades.
I'm 40 and in the process of getting my diagnosis and are you me? 🥺I feel everything you describe. The hyperawareness, the 'am I just faking/imagining it' because I overcompensate so much I still have a career and (knock on wood) don't have a tendency for addictions, maybe I just have to focus more. And then I have days like today where I can't even do one thing or sit still for more than 5 minutes and I can't get anything done. Since I started learning about ADHD over a year ago, I am making progress in giving myself more grace on bad brain days and be more compassionate towards myself, but I still feel like an impostor a lot. My second appointment is on Friday, I can't wait to have an official diagnosis and possibly start medication to help with the task initiation and other executive function struggles.
I was diagnosed at 25 and I was relieved as I had to go and ask for the referral, but I was worried I messed up or I had tricked the psychiatrist somehow. But as soon as I took concerta and my brain went quiet, that was confirmation that I was right and my god how did I manage before? But what I didn't expect was the difficulty in trying to accept that there are things I am just not wired up to do well, even after having the reason for it. It took time, but that self-forgiveness and compassion happens with practice.
I’m waiting for my assessment in February 2023. Since arranging it I’ve had a rollercoaster of emotions. Mostly doubts around what I go through on a daily basis and whether I’m disonterrsted and disorganised and what happens if I’m not diagnosed with ADHD and where that leaves me.
I love how you just share your thoughts no matter how random. It gives me motivation to do the same. I also have a RU-vid channel as a yoga teacher and I want to be more authentic about it like you do on this channel.
I cannot resonate with this more, thank you for sharing ! I got diagnosed 2 days ago obvious it's still so raw ! But I've got really bad imposter syndrome. What if I said this or over exaggerated that. Struggling with it atm Even down to the self employed point you made, that is all i wanted to run my own wedding videography business, now I've got it I'm just chronically overwhelmed and anxious and its made my ocd so bad. I think I'm coming to terms with the diagnosis a little more, I think ADHD is so much more than like the 25 questions they ask you, there was so much more I wanted to say but the assessment went so quick ! The sensory issues, the imposter syndrome, the self esteem. Anyway rambling over, thank you. Look forward to seeing the rest of the series !
I never thought I was a risk taker, but then I remember I quit my job to walk across america for 6 months with just a backpack over intense mountain passes, and i'm like, oh wait, yeah most people wouldn't do that. I never really consider myself as a risk taker because I have serious self preservation and fear, but somehow I end up clutching the side of an icy mountain with an ice axe in hand which I have learned how to use from a youtube video, and wondering what the fuck I am doing, and carrying on anyway. so yeah- maybe I am. I think we externalise our ideas of what a "risky" person does and then can't identify with it because you think of a drug dealing, shoplifting, cliff jumping maniac, when in reality it's just not knowing if you can do/ get away with something and just doing it anyway. Fortunately the human body and mind is pretty awesome, and most of the time you can. (not suggesting anyone breaks any laws here!)
Currently seeking diagnosis, and I’m also struggling with this one. In some ways I think of myself as extremely timid. I’m definitely impulsive in a lot of ways (impulse eating, sleep schedule, very driven by sudden whims), but my impulses just aren’t always very “risky,” especially since I developed anxiety. But then I also remember how I used to play with fire or climb EVERYTHING, and I just don’t know what the measure is. As far as the video goes, I would consider going self-employed to be very risky, especially if it were me, knowing my trouble with self-starting and follow-through.
I'm also a Rachel, I'm also 30, and I also recently got diagnosed with Inattentive Type ADHD! Everything you said in this video is incredibly relatable, even down to the reasons why you feel imposter syndrome. So just wanted to comment and say you're not alone in these feelings, and also how weird it is how many similarities we have. We even kinda look alike. Spooky!
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. My first appointment with the nhs team is on the 30th jan, and I’m SO SCARED. 28 now and I’ve kind of worked out in my head that ADHD aligns with a lot of the issues I’ve had my whole life. Figured it out over a year ago, but only applied for the diagnosis in June. The self doubt is real. But the changes I’ve seen in myself already by refinishing my patterns and implementing ADHD friendly methods has been good. New subscriber :)
So I was half way through the video when I commented and just had to come back to say that I burst into tears listening to you speak through the rest of it, because it resonated so much. I’m feeling more confident about diagnosis already.
Thank you for this! I’ve only recently been diagnosed (at age 37! 🫣) and have just started taking meds (Vyvanse 30mg) - and have been feeling all the feelings, impostor syndrome (which I’ve already suffered from my whole career, but different this time lol), am I bad enough to have this, etc etc.
