Adult with Autism | COVID & Lockdown | 05 

I agree 100%, it's literally been the best thing to happen to me. I found out I was autistic BECAUSE of Covid, and how much easier I found it. Love not doing the 1.5 hour commute on noisy tubes, or having to talk to co-workers. LOVE not having to mask 100% of the time. Obviously I feel bad that people have died and are suffering, but genuinely I hope the world stays this way afterwards.

The entire lockdown thing is or perhaps was AMAZING!! I will miss it..

I feel ya on the dentist anxiety! I think I’d rather chew my own arm off then to go to the dentist. Not because of the needles though, I’m covered in tattoos! I hate the feeling of someone being that close to my face

I also love the lockdown. I enjoy the smaller crowds everywhere. And the dentist😱. I didn’t go to the dentist for 35 years until I had a chipped tooth. My partner had to practically carry me in. A friend recommended this dentist and they are amazing. They are very supportive and give me that extra time. I now go every six months. Still scary but much less!

Agreed! Not looking forward to everything reopening. I'm an extrovert, but am not bothered by solitude. I was sick a lot as a child, so I got accustomed to being alone. I, too, don't understand why people kill themselves because they are isolated. They must have a very low opinion of themselves to the point that spending time in their own company is enough to make them want to end it all. It's very sad.

Sometimes it’s hard to speak of our personal feelings about something that others may not view in the same way. But I think it’s brilliant and a blessing how you’ve expressed this awkward feeling. We have empathy for those who have had loss and pain from this or anything really. But it’s a good thing to count your own blessings and feel at peace even if others aren’t at the moment. No need to suffer more just because others can’t relate. They should feel happy you’re thriving more and progressing! I feel like others think I’m cold at times because of how I see things. Or that I’m naive. But I’m not! I’m grateful for what I haven’t lost and it helps when loss occurs! And there will always be loss. I like my space and even my loved ones know they need to plan if they can to see me. But fear stops growth and there’s a lot of it! You’re allowed your feelings and they’re allowed there’s. Just because you’re happy it doesn’t make their pain any worse or vice versa. You can be a support in ways like this and we need this! Uplift and empower. I wish I could find the courage to say more about my own story. But it’s new still. I don’t need the stigma right now but in time I want to speak up more! So many misconceptions. I don’t like hearing that others were gossiping about me. I’d rather have it said to me to my face! Which for an introvert who hates conflict that can be scary too?! I’m so confusing?! Lol Sorry I’ve gone on so much! It’s not often I feel I can express myself and learn from others like yourself. So when I do I get excited and go on and on! Like I do with True Crime and law and justice?! Lol Have a good day! 🤗❤️👌🏻👏🏻👍🏻

People tell me I'm weird (but that's nothing new...) when I say I loved lockdown. For the first time in my life I felt relaxed. No unexpected visitors, no knocks at the door, no expectations to 'do things' with other people. It was fantastic. I even like the mask because I can hide behind it and I feel invisible. I was the only person I knew who was upset when lockdown ended. I'm not diagnosed yet, I'm awaiting assessment (as you know, NHS assessment waiting lists are loooong. Even longer now, due to Covid) but I'm 99.9% positive that I'm on the spectrum. I'm nearing retirement age so it was a bit of a shock realisation. I also understand your dentist dilemma. I'm the same. I don't mind needles usually but I can't cope with them in my mouth. Or the dentist bending over me, being so close. But finding a compassionate, understanding dentist is nigh on impossible. I used to have to have a general anesthetic just to agree to sit in the chair! Dentists stopped offering that service though, so now I struggle. Only discovered you recently, via your podcast, so popped over here to say smashing content, keep it coming!

I feel similar,I'm currently going through the process of a diagnosis so have similar issues to you like spacing and not doing well in social situations.

the touching and kisses 😂 yeah, weird. no thanks. yeah you're not alone! I think a lot of us aren't fully upset about how the covid has gone.. masks are a def a social and sensory hurdle but also now everyone's confused about facial cues and having trouble understanding eachother at the same time so...🤷 that's nice in a funny way

You've word for word described how I described covid. The lockdowns were the pause button on life that I seriously needed! Idk what this says about my degree of autistic burnout, but I could live in a lockdown situation and I'm not sure I'd ever get bored of it 🙃

"I must live in a world that was not designed for me". Just loved it. Of course I know that covid had a great impact in people's lives. But when people ask me how I felt I usually say that was one of the best times in my life. Social isolation is just something that we crave for, don't we?

I love your tangents you make me feel normal

I agree with you. Lockdown suited me perfectly. It was quiet, it was orderly, buses were empty and the whole pace of life slowed to something much more managable. And I agree that so few lessons have been learned on societal structure. Everyone had a bit more time and a bit more compassion. But everything has gone back to just how it was. Thanks for the podcasts.

Honestly, COVID is what really pushed it in my mind that the way my brain works is clearly very different from others. Friends telling me about the isolation stress, not seeing friends as much, not being able to talk in person and how their mental health is just all over the place. Personally, I think my mental health is in a better place than its been in years. Its great not needing to go out, not feeling like I need to do all of that. Other than all the deaths and how shitty its been with COVID, but not me personally as my own person, COVID has been great. All the stuff that I hate about "the real world" has just been completely gone. If there was a way to live like this, but in a world that wasn't in a global pandemic, that would be great! So now I'm working towards getting an assessment and possibly diagnosis that would explain a whole lot. It all fits. Just wanted to say thanks for these videos. Its been very very helpful!

The lockdown and my reaction to it was what led me to discover that I'm autistic. Then I remembered two other times when I was away from "civilization" (solo camping in remote areas) where I felt the same. Happy, calm, peaceful and more myself. At the time, I thought I was the only one who seemed to find the lockdown a relief, yet here are a bunch of commenters saying the same in response to you saying it. Amazing. I didn't go into a store for a year, just ordered online had them put the groceries in my trunk. Just held up a sign to put it in the trunk and popped the trunk. Grateful to them, but no contact needed. The first time I went into a grocery after lockdown, the anxiety in encountering people was more distinct. Not sure it was stronger, just more noticeable, differentiated from myself in the calm state. At the time I did worry for the rest of the world, friends and family, though. Totally agree about nature and slowing down. More people are working from home here so that was one effect. This is good for some people but not for others. When I was a kid living in a chaotic and very loud household, school was a refuge for me. Back then kids sat quietly in rows. I usually finished my work and read a story/novel. Reading was an escape for me, too. I would have hated the lockdown as a kid, especially if I couldn't get away from my house. So, I felt sorry for the kids who had that during covid lockdown.

I don't like people over me, I feel they may drool. And I don't have to smile wearing a mask. The lockdowns were nice, peaceful.

''A world that's not designed for me'' That hits home!! We used to go to my in-laws for a weekly visit, for years, first me and the hubby, then kiddos and I thought I enjoyed it and I did in a weird this is part of my routine, so I need to do it now, type of thing, but when covid hit and we couldn't go anymore...it made me realize how I don't need that (at least not at that frequency), in my life. Trouble I've found with covid and quarantine is that my levels of tolerance have gone down...less eposure/socializing was/is nice, definitely made me realize how much I am not made for it, but being withdrawn from it for so long means the exhaustion/meltdowns hit me tenfold now. I dunno, maybe it's partially easier to just stay in the eye of the storm, rather than now having found somewhat of a shelter, but going back into the storm periodically...it really hits me hard.

Hello from Canada. I hear you! First, I found your channel tonight and I had to see this video next because of the thumbnail for the video. Your face says it all. I am so happy now that it is required to stay home. The only thing I miss is my kung fu training. I am 51 and not diagnosed yet (I have my appointment in July). I have an autistic son of 21 and a daughter of 18 about to be diagnosed. I am exhausted just to think I have to go for groceries. And yes, the older I get, the worse it is.

Here is Australia we had a long initial lockdown followed by some loosening of restrictions such as being allowed out for certain things (e.g. an hour of exercise a day), then further loosening such as being allowed to gather in groups of 10 or less…. From my recollection I barely went out of the house in 2020 other than to walk the dogs, and other than my husband the only people I spoke to were the neighbours we passed when walking the dogs - we did stop for 5 min chats (plenty of social distancing when they were in their yards and we were on the path). It was the best time of my life - after the initial stress/fear, it was the most peaceful relaxing time of my life. It could have gone on another year and I would have been ecstatic.

So agree!!! Lol... ya earned yourself a covid warning label 😂 I am so smell sensory that I can’t really go in public places and if there are too many around me outdoors I can’t do that either. I wore a mask before covid and was treated like I had the plague. I wasn’t sick, your smells make me sick but people would pull their children close and away from me and I would get strange looks. And if I shared I was smell sensitive and it made me ill they would say, get over your phobia and get on with it. Suddenly, the WORLD is wearing masks, people are afraid to be around people, curb delivery was an option so my options opened up for food. I couldn’t go into stores or restaurants, too sensory overwhelm. People crying cause they are lonely. I’ve been lonely for forever and people would say ya but that’s your choice. Not really. You stink the places I must go to be with people make me ill. So I’m alone. Back to normal makes me sad too for me. But for so many it makes them so happy. I’m an extrovert but my sensory thing forces me to live an introvert life. My friends are watching and connecting with these type of videos virtually. Thanks man! So happy to feel like I have a new friend 🥰. Yes! I can’t shake your hand or hug ya cause then I’m wearing your lovely smells yet socially it’s awkward to not without trying to explain why you can’t and then you ID yourself as “different” 😞. And and and Lol... virtual medical, finally something that works for me! Ya so sad if/when things return to the old ways (for me).

We think the same....incredible

‘If I did I wouldn’t be hiding behind the other cars’ 😂 ‘So yeah that’ll be fun this week,dropping a load of money to get stabbed in the face’ 😂 mate this made me laugh out loud. I’m waiting for an autism assessment and finding your Spotify podcasts and these videos invaluable and not boring but I appreciate them being short as it’s easier to maintain my attention! During lockdown I felt no difference really to my life I was kinda glad I wasn’t glooming with fomo for once cause everyone was stuck inside and I usually was anyway

I had braces put in a few years back and oh my goodness, the claustophobia!!! I just kept thinking, ''Just keep swimming, just keep swimming,'' in a loop for like an hour or so. Got me through!

Dentist was a huge issue for me, avoided it for 20 years. Eventually I had to go to a private specialist. It was well worth it, but horribly expensive.

Me too. I actually became healthier less tired more alert wanting to go around & exercise during c19. It’s the work & xxxx that killed me.

I totally get you, Paul. It was nice to see society relax for a while. Personally I am an extrovert who hated lockdown. I would have hated it more if my brother hadn’t come to stay with me for the whole thing. But that’s just me.

I absolutely loved the COVID changes. I thought I was the only one. Yeah, it sucks that we needed a pandemic to do this, but suddenly there's nobody touching me, not too many people, everything so quiet... I want that always. I am autistic, but I never learned to play, so I'm just the weird book person who doesn't talk. Except about books. I didn't realize I was supposed to mask. In an earlier video you said that you lied to fit in. I didn't, but they called me a liar anyway because what I liked didn't make sense to them. Reading*smart books" for fun? Sometimes I like a bit of history or philosophy, all right? You can't win with typicals, no matter what you do.

So. I'm not diagnosed, but pursuing an autism screening currently. All my life I thought I had depression and anxiety, but none of the treatments helped. To the point I was haphardously diagnosed with bipolar just so my doctors could see if an antipsychotic would help me. Lol. Nope. But when quarantine hit and I lost my job, I learned that I do not have to be depressed and the best medicine is reducing social pressures. Not having to constantly deal with retail customers and stressful family gatherings, I was able to tend to my garden and and stick to things I was comfortable with. I had time to do research and realized I'm probably autistic and my depression was really burnout/social exhaustion.

Thanks for being yourself, I relate to the mask idea. After listening to this episode, I feel like maybe I should be accommodated once in awhile. I struggle with navigated simple workplace conversations for fear of offending someone. Maybe I shouldn't have to be worried once in awhile...

Lockdown was a well needed rest. I loved the 2 meter distancing as i can feel other peoples energy and it gets overwhelming. First time i realised 2 meter is enough to not feel it anymore. Probably why i dont like people standing behind me either

Early on when my husband and I were dating we'd go out to eat in restaurants and the amount of anxiety; the noise, proximity to people, ordering off a menu that I have never tried and have no idea what I'll like, but chances are I won't. Slowly turned into my husband ordering for us and then us just doing takeout and then takeout where I just waited at home or in the car, haha!

Hi Paul! I love your accent! 💗 I dont have a diagnosis. (In the proces) but I feel like such a bad person for feeling this, but YES! To me, covid lockdown and distancing is a blessing. I realized how much doing all this stuff took a toll on me. Yes, I am exausted always. Just happy I can keep working. Im a nurse so, so far guaranteed job. But I love comming home and not have to explain why I cant meet, call, or say yes to go to that club, party or else. New subscriber here 😁 Btw, what? Emails? How? Where? What adress?

0:57 actually I love the lamp. It was the first thing I thought, this guy has good taste. 2:39 I know I'm going to get crap for this, but covid was the best time of my life. I even got covid 3 times and I'd do it again if I could be myself. (You look fine) 11:22 right!? In shops here they have disabled and elderly shopping at the crack of dawn. Like I can't be awake that early. 13:07 exactly! My poor flesh!

I could have said all that! :)

The “world that isn’t made for me” notion got me to pondering about the increasing rates of autism identification being associated with the changes in environment (more noise, less space, faster pace of everything). Was autism more muted in past generations, hundreds or thousands of years ago, because there were fewer people and the triggers that debilitate did not exist or were less common? Autistic individuals existed well before it was defined, but were their lives more tolerable in a less “advanced” society? Just thinking “out loud”.

Hi, Paul!