I just want to speak to my experience. Even when I have been covered head to toe. Turtleneck, modest length skirt, stockings, modest work heels. Men will stare. I was born with a curvy vavavoom shape. I am fit and enjoy exercising! Weird I know. Unfortunately this often leads to comments that I am immmodest and it is simply untrue I try! I would need to wear the aforementioned burlap sack. I am married now though my husband came later than expected. He didn't arrive until I was 36. This came up in convo with him. He said most men just couldn't see past it, see the real me. The graduate student profound lover of Christ. Just a word for the ladies doing their best and still being objectified. Sometimes it really is the heart of the other and not in your control. If you live as a good Christian woman that will shine though! Blessings ladies thanks for the video and work you do for the Catholic community.
I’m fit as well and doing regular exercise and yes I do wear skinny jeans at mass but with something that covers my backside:) still I’m not hiding my body in oversized clothes just because I’m a Catholic. Let’s face it, Catholic girls ate not exactly fit...of course if some of us dress up, people will look at us. That is fine, man are designed like that by God bdw:)
*The idea of "modesty" is a joke. God created us to be completely nude with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the individual wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing doesn't influence bad actions, bad character does.*
It is obvious you did what you had to do. That is good. For the rest of the world, just ignore them. If you were doing as you were told, dressed modestly, then I am sorry on their behalf if someone told you that you were immodest.
Another thing is don't let other people especially a man dictate what you should wear. Wear what feels comfortable and don't allow a man to tell you your clothing doesn't look "good enough" for him. If you are dressed modestly and well don't be concerned what others think.
Harmony D. Well, I live in the Caribbean (and if you have seen modern Carnival costumes, that should give you an idea of how much fabric is on a swimsuit), so I usually just check any old store for a monokini and put athletic shorts on top. Or I get a longline bikini or tankini
Can we talk about the struggle of finding cute clothes that are also modest?? It's like there's a conspiracy to make clothes as immodest as possible these days and shopping is such a hassle! I honestly think that shops push these "barely there" clothes so they can charge a lot of money and use ever decreasing amounts of fabric to make them!
@@tammyjones8894 Yes! I have almost entirely stopped wearing white because it's so hard to find shirts that are white and not see-through. I really do think they use as little fabric as possible so everything is see-through and flimsy. So frustrating!
@@icyangel13 know exactly what you mean. I have vests to wear under some of my blouses but sometimes they show at the top of the blouse so that doesn't work either. And why are men's T-shirts made with such thick cotton and ladies so thin?? The fashion industry is making it so difficult for modesty. I finally found workout vests that don't gape at the sides to show boobie and cover me up to my neck - but guess what - see through so I can't wear them out. We could go on all day icyangel13. 🙂
Don’t know when, how, why it happened but I walked in a mall and some stores and was mortified! I left and was determined to make my own clothes. I started sewing three years ago just to have a nice wardrobe I am comfortable and happy wearing. I can now dress like going to meet Jesus happily.🤗
*The idea of "modesty" is a joke. God created us to be completely nude with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the individual wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing doesn't influence bad actions, bad character does.*
"There is a lack of awareness of how to dress up versus dressing sexy because our society and culture have merged the two." Hit. The. Nail. On. The. Head. Mic. Drop. Right there ladies! This is why my dressing up dresses are from the 40's, 50's and 60's.
Exactly! 1st part. Regarding the last part, I don't wear dresses from that far back, but modest, long skirts and dresses. But recently I did buy a holiday dress that is reminiscent of a 60's "party dress," that is past the knees. It's really cute and totally appropriate for Christmas Mass.
@@dianemarie8873 those dresses just happen to look really good on me and I have a acquired quite a few. All of them go right to the knee, so nothing grandmotherly on this 20-something. I just strive to dress classic, and as a result just about everything* is modest.
@@freerunning2Him nice!😊 It's been difficult to find dresses like that these days, but I do believe they're starting to make a bit of a comeback! I've started seeing some now & then Online.
*The idea of "modesty" is a joke. God created us to be completely nude with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the individual wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing doesn't influence bad actions, bad character does.*
"Our Faith calls us to a higher standard." What a wonderful quote! Something else to note too with dress is that even though we were made wholly good, we still have concupiscence and are susceptible to sin. In charity to others, men and women, need to dress respectfully. We must dress according to the dignity God gave us and for the love of others and God!
*The idea of "modesty" is a joke. God created us to be completely nude with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the individual wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing doesn't influence bad actions, bad character does.*
*The idea of "modesty" is a joke. God created us to be completely nude with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the individual wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing doesn't influence bad actions, bad character does.*
Beautiful way to put all that, I hope that everyone who watches it is able to hear it with a clear mind and understand the loving position youre coming from.
Amen Ladies🕆 I'm getting Baptized in the Catholic Church this Easter. I'm so excited and was looking online for a beautiful modest dress. The only dresses I have seen are club dresses,just as you were saying. This is a new phenomenon and a sign of the degenerate times we live in.
I have this experience all the time. I'm tall, so every modern style is a mini skirt on me nowadays. Modcloth.com has modest dresses, many of them retro-inspired.
As a muslim I was astonished to hear this beautiful dialogue and exchange of ideas as a muslim too we have the rule of wearing modestly which states that: clothes shouldn't describe the body nor be transparent The notion of freedom in the West (and sadly started here in Islamic countries) has to be reformed as it only focuses on the personnal freedom, disregarding freedom of people that surround us too, we do not live alone and we are social beings that need to abide by certain rules. It's not a wild freedom but it has to respect others' existence as well
In my teenage years I had a pair of shorty-shorts. I wore them to my grandma's house and she gave me a rash of lecture about them. Most of it didn't bother me but when she said old men look at me I was like ew. That's not why I wore those shorts.. and it really made me think about it and I never wanted to wear them again and that thought stuck with me even now. As a teenage girl I wanted guys attention but to realize I'm getting old men's attention made me sick to my stomach. I'm so glad out of love for me she said something. And at first I didn't want to take and accept it but afterwards I really thought about it and it changed my mind.
Thankyou for making this video! Very inspirational. I would also like to see a video about modesty for men. I always see videos about modesty for women, but I see a lot of catholic men who aren’t wearing modest clothes. For example: very tight clothes, showing biceps. Could you also make a video about men’s modesty? :)
Ooh. Yes. Tight jeans? Tight snap shirts? Modern hair/beard trends? Muscle shirts? There are some things that leave little to the imagination. Do I sound like the guys, now? 😆
Women's clothes are horrible. Everything is short-short, and tight... even the pants have to be capri-style and "skinny." An added frustration is women's clothes never have pockets. As a woman, I just wear men's clothes. They're much more utilitarian and practical. They're not tight or short. Besides, I'm single and over 40, I couldnt care less about trying to make myself attractive at this point. 🤷♀️
Honestly, this is why I love shopping at thrift stores, there's much more variety and originality with clothes, and since most are "older" clothes there are real modest and fashionable items! Plus it's a more environmentally conscious way of shopping.
LOVED this! Can we please have a convo about Modesty for men? How the virtue of modesty should grow and manifest itself in a man. I feel like it isn’t discussed enough
In terms of clothing mens' clothing is already generally more modest than womens' clothing. I as a woman rarely see men dressed immodestly whereas women are dressed immodestly much more often. Most men's clothing is sufficiently loose and covering so as not to expose the chest, shoulders, or legs much whereas it's harder to find women's clothing like that. In terms of inner modesty that really is something both men and women struggle with in our world.
Thank you Chika for having the courage to speak to a parishioner with charity and love about appropriate dress at Mass and why. It is so difficult to approach someone for their dress because you don;t want them to feel unwelcome, but you can see what a distraction it is to other Mass attendees. I remember, back in the day, a man could not get seated in a better restaurant without a jacket. Restaurants would keep loaner jackets available should a gentleman show up without one. I think perhaps we should keep a supply of wraps or pashminas in our Churches in order to assist women in covering up for Mass. Pehaps you cound do a third video to explore how we can lovingly and gently discuss modest dress at Mass with other women.
*There are two types of modesty: Spiritual and physical* *The Spiritual aspect is true 1000% and is made perfectly clear all throughout the Bible. It shows in the way we act and treat one another. It's what we carry in our hearts and minds and spirits. This is what God cares about and what we should be striving towards.* *Physical modesty is a lie. It's nothing but a man made ideology designed to manipulate and control one another due to our lust for power. It's based on ignorance and our lack of understanding of what our bodies truly represent. This has no basis in the Bible or science.*
First ,Thank you ladies for addressing this. The (( PARENTS ALLOW )) the girls/boys to wear clothes like they are going out to a club basically anything they want. ( IT STARTS AT HOME) The respect for the churches is gone and getting worse. Our priest asked once to please dress more appropriate to church ( no one listens ) but it's not up to the father but up to the parents that bring their kids to the church.
God bless you two! This is a difficult but much needed conversation for our culture. Amen to it being an issue of the heart! As a teen, my heart wasn't in the right place and so modesty wasn't even on my radar. Modesty grows naturally from a heart oriented toward Christ! (And yes to covering up the "took-us.")
I hate the word "sexy." If you think about it, if someone calls you sexy, what they are saying is; you look good enough to have sex with. It is not the same as beautiful. We need to get rid of this word.
I used to dress and behave immodestly, totally clueless about the effect on my neighbor. At my current parish, the dress code is clearly stated in the bulletin-same code as church in the Vatican. It was really difficult at first to figure out what to wear but even if I have to wear the same skirt ten times in a row, it’s worth it to protect my soul and the souls of my fellow parishioners
*The idea of "modesty" is a joke. God created us to be completely nude with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the individual wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing doesn't influence bad actions, bad character does.*
A very interesting video and discussion. Coming from a non-faith-related perspective, modesty is about self-respect and dignity. As well as (rightly or wrongly--I can hear the debate) being taken seriously in professional environments. The very worst is the sexualization of children. I absolutely cringe when I see young girls wearing short, tight, dresses and proudly striking (what they think are) sexy poses.
I've been wearing crop tops and leggings for a while. Never felt bad about it because my intentions were so innocent. I genuinely though that people still perceived me as a child and would have no compulsion to objectify me (I'm 21 but I still feel like I'm 8 haha). A few months ago a boy I liked complimented me a LOT when I wore crop tops, and for the first time I realized people actually are attracted to my body. I liked the feeling, but mostly forgot about it (also the boy wasn't in my area anymore so I didn't have the reminders). Maybe 2 days ago I realized that somewhere in my subconscious, my motives HAVE changed, and when I wear my leggings and crop tops, part of the appeal is knowing that people will admire my body. So I'm going to throw away all my crop tops (which will be very sad because I've collected lots of cute ones over the years😟) and I'm going to find myself a bunch of really long shirts to wear over my leggings
It’s great that you are addressing this topic that is especially relevant in our culture today where the virtue of modesty is no longer valued or appreciated. The Vatican actually does have specific guidelines for women’s dress. Colleen Hammond points to them in her book ‘Dressing with Dignity.’ I highly recommend every Catholic woman read it!
There are rules for dress when you go into a church in the Vatican for men, women, and children. Shoulders have to be covered, and “pants”/shorts and skirts must cover the knees. That means no tank tops, even in summer.
It definitely stings when someone you love calls you out. I remember my dad telling me once that the skirt I was wearing was not acceptable for church and I actually got angry at him. But later I realized he was completely right. I hope that those women will see the truth after the embarrassment and anger passes, especially people who have dressed immodestly to church and others have told them so. It can be embarrassing, but I hope they have the courage to go back to church and have a change of heart.
Watched this again and am now positive my decision to learn to sew was the right choice for me. I’m getting better and have actually had people ask me where I “bought” an outfit. I hope to begin teaching sewing in the new year. Praise God for the skill!
The church actually has put forward rules on modesty. Pope Pius XI put out a Papal decree concerning modesty in 1930. I understand that doesn't mean it is required, but there are guidelines that have been put out there, and by a pope. The "you can't tell me what to do" attitude is just *not* a part of our faith, in fact quite the opposite. We are called to submit to each other and most especially to the church, even and especially when it's hard and we don't want to. Regarding the freedom aspect of it, this is a classic example of how Christ frees us *from* our former sinful ways, as opposed to the "freedom" to make all the bad decisions we want. I've experienced this myself. Just as abstaining from fornication frees you from the worry of unplanned pregnancies and confused emotions, dressing modestly frees you from worrying about wardrobe malfunctions, objectification, *and* - my favorite - worrying about how your stomach, butt, thighs, or whatever looks in your outfit. In fact that's probably a good rule of thumb. If you think any part of your body looks particularly bad *or* good in an outfit, then it's not modest. lol
Once I wear a dress (in June!) in our prayer group and mass before that, one of the guys came to me saying- you look so nice, so good to see girls wearing a dress rather then trousers all the time. It was the most genuine compliment I’ve ever heard from a man!
I don't usually comment on youtube videos. But this one broke my heart and I've been thinking all morning about the anecdote of the young girl at mass. Let's change it up a little bit to imagine what she was experiencing. Imagine you're invited to a party. You might not want to go, maybe you're tagging along with someone, or on the contrary maybe you're super eager and excited even though you don't know the other guests very well. You go, you have a good time, and when you're on your way out, happy that in the end you decided to come, the host catches up with you and tells you that what you were wearing was absolutely inappropriate, that it made other guests awkward, but that they really hope you'll come back to their next party. How do you feel ? What are the chances you'll actually go back, regardless of how much you enjoyed it ? You probably would melt into a puddle of true embarassment, of shame, perhaps of self-hatred, and resolve, for your own mental health, to protect yourself and never go back. If you are actively policing what strangers wear, you are not being kind. You are not bringing them closer to Jesus. (Modesty is an internal, personal reflection on how what you wear is appropriate for this or that situation - not externally imposing rules you have chosen on others). You are perhaps actively barring the way to Jesus, reducing to zero the likelihood that they will ever come back to mass. By mentioning that the guy behind her was oogling her behind, you achieve two things : 1) You tell her that "his" well-being (spiritual and otherwise) matters more than hers, and that she is responsible for his thoughts and behaviours. 2) You are attributing an inherently sexual perspective/intent to an outfit that may have had none (especially if this is a teenage girl !! as mentioned, some people buy what stores have on sale...) and shaming her for this explicitly in the process. The fact that the young boy was distracted is irrelevant. In a world where summer and shorts exist, he will have to learn to deal with people being dressed however they want, and be accountable for his own reactions and actions - moreover, for some reason I'm a little bit skeptical that this girl was truly the only thing preventing him from fully participating in mass - had she not been there, perhaps a fly on the wall would have retained his attention. And it is not as if he had complained to you - you saw a situation, and decided to intervene based on your own assumptions. You know nothing about her situation. You do not know if she eagerly wanted to discover, if it was her first time at mass, if she was reluctant but still wanted to give it a try. You do not know if she was simply unaware of the dress code, or if perhaps the dress code is on the door of the parish, she realised upon entering that she had chosen the wrong outfit, was a bit embarassed, but as she was already here anyway, decided it was still worth it to attend mass and see what it is all about, making a mental note to dress better next time. In any case, that memory of mass, will forever be tarnished by the huge shame, which was totally avoidable, of someone telling her that she is "inappropriate", therefore "undeserving" (the fact that you did not mean it this way does not change the impact that these words have). I was really hoping that the anecdote would finish off with Chika saying "I realised that I had messed up and I won't do it again." and not hearing this made me so sad. You let your own feelings of discomfort take over. Finally, let's imagine that this whole situation is a gospel parable that Jesus is telling his disciples, about a women inadequately dressed in his temple and pharisees chastising her for it. Do you think he would end it by saying "thank goodness the pharisees intervened on my behalf, as I could not speak to her heart directly and my Father is dishonoured by her presence in his temple" or would he be pointing out the hypocrisy of the pharisees, acting as authorities of purity, and not seeing their own sin ? Would he chastise them for potentially sending a daughter of his away ?
Just one thing I forgot to add: as a practicing catholic, I have also been in the situation of not being dressed the best and still going to mass. Case in point: on a business trip to Bucharest, on a very hot summer day, I changed into shorts (not too short) to go visit the city in the evening. I walked around and happened to stumble upon a catholic church, where mass was, by pure chance, just about to start. I hesitated for a quick second, whether or not I should go - and I realised that my embarassment to some degree, was another form of pride and self-consciousness - and that missing out on mass, in an amazing opportunity that was just given to me freely and unexpectedly, would not be the best outcome. So I thanked Jesus and went in, fully aware of my limitations, but grateful for the gift !
This is exactly what I have been thinking all day. I can’t get this story out of my mind. Why did no one approach the young man and tell him to focus or have a conversation with him afterwards that staring at someone is inappropriate? Also, I much rather see young people at mass than not there because they feel embarrassed or unworthy.
@@alexaneb.3819 If your mode of dress causes someone to have any sexual temptations and they sin, that burden is also on your soul. St. Padre Pio sent away a woman who came to him for Confession in Italy, saying Jesus would have her go back to Vancouver and get rid of the trousers she sold at her boutique. He added not to even give them away, but to get rid of them. Jesus's frustration with female indecency saw St. Pio put up a sign that any woman who came to the confessional was to have her arms covered and wear a dress at least 8 inches below the knee. Christ said we have a responsibility to correct each other when we err. It is possible to do so kindly and without judging. Pax Christi.
I agree 100% with everything said here and doing OUR part as women. But I would honestly like to see some of the responsibility be placed on the men. Because most of the time, if not always the blame and responsibility for how a men reacts is placed on the women. I dress modestly, but I would also like to see more commentary about how men should control themselves in these situations when they see women not dressed appropriately
Great video! Thank you Jackie and Chika! :) Jewelry …. If you're attending mass and going to communion; one should not be wearing pagan or witchcraft-related jewelry. My own opinion is that type of jewelry is inappropriate for a Christian.
I have been a devote Catholic my whole life and have always been taught that God is the only moral judge. That you can show up to mass in a bin bag and he will love you the same. I think setting such standards is divisive within the church, and honestly there should be thought to allowing people to come to their own modesty conclusions.I am 20 years old (female) now and find my faith growing more and more each day, and as a result I find myself dressing differently, and more in- line with what you were both describing, which is so much more modest to how I did when I was 18, I have done this as my love for God is genuine and my own. Telling someone how to dress is a act of dictating them, and make that person feel their free will is compromised, which will only drive them away from God. Why not invite the young girl to spend more time in the church, show her Gods love, God will show her His love and it is more likely that she will change her way of dressing on her own accord, freely.
It is not that simple. The need to dress properly is an urgent thing because of our neighbour. It can lead someone straight to hell because of the immoral thought it arouses in the mind of our neighbour. That is why to talk to them politely and with love as Chika rightly pointed out can save a soul, by the grace of God.
Completely agree with you. Sometimes people need to come to their own conclusions in their own time and that will often be when the transformation is more powerful and long lasting.
Its not just at funerals that people wear inappropriate, revealing clothes - the ladies at Baptisms seem to think they are in a fashion parade or on the red carpet for a movie premier
My family and I moved to a Traditional Latin Mass bc our local parish had women dressing in short shorts and inappropriate clothing ALL the time. Also that our deacons would preach about climate change.... Anyway, the discussion of modest dressing is long overdue.
@Matt Blaise I'm a San Franciscan who has been inundated with Climate Change (formerly global warming) since the early 90's as a student. It TERRIFIED me and was intended to do just that. I was promised that by the year 2000: California would be underwater. Rain would be acid. Ozone layer all but gone. Mass famine and extreme weather NEVER experienced due to marine life being poisoned and the Rain Forest being destroyed. I've already bought into the hype 30 years ago. NOT happening again. It's nothing but a liberal money grab.
@Matt Blaise China and India are the biggest polluters but Europe, Canada and America are behaving as if it's a catastrophe WE created. It's not. Pollution is an issue for breathing. Climate is beyond our control. It is being treated imo as a secular religion with doomsday nonsense. Review your documented weather in your country or hemisphere. Humans do not create floods. Bad urban and rural planning and ineffective dams do. Sorry but I've already lived through the climate hysteria, and now its re-branding. See who's behind it. Follow the money.
@@eileen1820 it's also important to note the context in which it's being brought up, as Catholics we are called to be attentive to the problems of our time and Catholic social teaching has made the earth and the environment (which climate change impacts) a priority. The earth and all on it is a beautiful reflection of the goodness of God, shouldn't we take intentional and some may say urgent care of that due to the issues facing it today? Praying for you and your parish 💛
I went shopping today for clothes for church and got so frustrated that I couldn’t find anything modest enough! I left the mall with nothing! Everything that’s dressy is to short or fitting. We need some stores that are good for church clothes. Someone needs to make a store for church attire. Please!
*The idea of "modesty" is an absolute joke. God created us to be completely nude with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the individual wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing doesn't influence bad actions, bad character does.*
This is a tough topic, especially when it comes to teens. I admire the courage both you ladies have in addressing it with so much love and care. I do feel sad for the teen in the shorts. Those around her did have the choice not to look at her. It may have been a struggle for her parents to encourage her to attend Mass. She probably didn't return to Mass again. I know several teens that left the Catholic Church over clothing confrontations. It's tough, but it might have been better to have left it alone and if you saw her again, to welcome her to join the teen group. And, then in the teen group have topics about clothing for Mass. Maybe plan a yearly fashion show of fashions that work for Mass. Make it a yearly fundraiser, etc. This would help to keep up with the styles. Or make posters of fashions that work for Mass, and decorate the teen meeting room with these, updating them every year. It's a process and seems important to work in God's timing. The teen years are so very hard, especially for females. Finding modest clothing that is stylish is tough. In addition, anything they wear immediately defines them - preppy girl, hip hop girl, emo girl, sexy girl, etc. Again, thanks for bringing this topic to light. Lots to think about in managing it while encouraging our teens that they are all welcome. They are our future leaders.
A long time ago I was listening to a chastity talk by Jason Evert and he basically said that when women wear leggings all that men see are legs and butts of a different color. So it's my opinion that when we wear leggings we should also wear something else on top.
I usually have a loose T-shirt over my leggings for comfort when I work out, but when I go to Mass I wear skirts that are knee length or midi length, and usually a pair of leggings underneath in case the skirt blows up in the wind. No wardrobe malfunction for me 😂
Sorry, 1 more comment: The parish where I attend Mass does have a dress code posted in most bulletins and on the window before entering the church. It shows the female image with skirt passed the knees and 3/4 length sleeves, and high neckline, and the male image with long sleeves and long pants. Women ARE allowed to wear slacks/pants. The point is modesty. It also shows images of improper dress, with a list of what not to wear: sleeveless, low neckline, skirt above knees, tight fitting, exposed midriff, see through (as only layer), shorts, exposed back, offensive print.
I went shopping today for clothes for church and got so frustrated that I couldn’t find anything modest enough! I left the mall with nothing! Everything that’s dressy is to short or fitting. We need some stores that are good for church clothes. Someone needs to make a store for church attire. Please!
When I go to mass on summer this always comes to my mind. I changed my way of dressing myself. But some people go so far, they use extra mini shorts. And many men use flip flops... However, I've never been courage enough to say anything to them, as this lady did.
Re: the parishoner- it seems we're asking the wrong question when we wonder do we or don't we say something to her. I think the right question is how do I form real relationship with her? How do I treat her as a human and not as an object? So that anything I say can be heard with ears to hear. So she knows by experience what I have to say comes from love. And so that whatever message she has internalized that her value is physical is contradicted by my actions. And lastly, why had God drawn me to her? Is it to have love swallow up shame? How can I do that in this moment
Would you want photos of you in what you are wearing posted all over? This applies at the beach and gym too. If you would be opposed to having an "up-skirt" picture of yourself posted publicly, then a bathing suit that is just as revealing is a problem. If a fraction of a millimeter worth of cloth is the difference between being "dressed" and naked, then there needs to be more discernment.
This was so beautiful. Hearing Truth, Goodness and Beauty almost made me tear up. It's so true. What a lovely discussion. Thank you. I feel renewed by listening.
Thank you, ladies, for making this video! Modesty isn't always an easy topic, and you presented it in a very positive, edifying way. I had to give up some articles of clothing a few years ago that I couldn't wear in good conscience, and while it was hard, it was so much easier for me to just be rid of them and not think of those pieces of clothing anymore. (Out of sight, out of mind.) I have since learned to be a lot more creative with the different pieces that I put together, and I feel a lot better about what I wear bringing glory to God, even if it took more effort. "Nothing worth having ever comes easy." I've also noticed men treating me with more respect and being more gentleman-like. It's nice to know that I'm helping to bring out the best in them. :)
I would just like to say it starts in school sports. Why are girls uniforms for volleyball etc cut so short? Our girls come to Wed night catechism straight from sports practice and in their minds they are wearing appropriate school clothes. They become accustomed to wearing inappropriate garments in public places.
Leggings are not pants. I totally understand wearing them, but they are essentially underwear and should be worn under something (such as shorts, pants, or a skirt). Because of the way they are made to adhere to the body, they are essentially re-useable paint. If you would have no problem (other than warmth) wearing paint in place of leggings, it's probably fine. If you wouldn't be comfortable replacing them with paint, it's unlikely you're wearing them properly.
This message applies to more than just Catholics. It's beautifully put. One thing to consider when it comes to looking for modest dress- is sewing your own. It would be a way to make modest clothes that are cute, longer lasting. It's a talent that people may not know they have because the need is not there.
Modest dressing at mass is common sense... we are witnessing the passion and crucifixion of Jesus Christ... are we going there to add more burden and wounds by the way we dress? Making many others sin in their hearts... Even distracting priests from the sacrifice... Surely immodesty is working for devil and not loving Jesus.
One thing I think I would slightly disagree with is the part about context. Different environments obviously call for different clothing but modesty is a virtue that applies in any situation. It wouldn’t be immodest to wear jeans and a T-shirt to a wedding but it would be unfitting. I’m less concerned with a person wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt at Mass than a girl wearing booty shorts. The reason is, the person in the sweatsuit might have just come from caring for a sick relative or something. There is no occasion or environment where booty shorts would’ve been appropriate. I agree that we shouldn’t judge people though and I think Chika did the right thing by speaking up kindly.
Women have been defiled since the beginning of time. Dress never had men act differently. Did anyone say anything to the 13 year old boy for staring at her or only the girl in shorts? I believe in modesty because I'm not into showing the world my body but men need to be brought up to respect women and you are not responsible for another person ogling you. A woman is raped because a man is acting like an animal and if he can't stop his lust as a thought, the one who needs counsel and reform is him. I refuse to be believe being a man is so different. It's what is allowed, taught and accepted. I live in a neighborhood with Hasidic women who find lovely modest clothes in places from the Gap to Macy's etc. They are beautiful and not dowdy. It can be done.
Only thing I would say - is that the girl in the booty shorts was likely embarrassed to be spoken to outside of a confidential area. Next time if need be - maybe bring her aside - out of earshot of others - especially her friends and family - and quietly and respectfully say what you feel is needed.
I found this really helpful and insightful. You made some great points about the fashion in today’s society and I couldn’t agree more. For the last point about bikinis or swimsuits on the beach, I feel like no matter what type of bathing suit you wear on the beach, because of the context, someone will always look at you lustfully. Simply because it’s the beach and no one is really wearing many clothes so the entire context of that environment may revolve around desire or lust.
First off I want to say thank you for some amazing videos! I started my modesty journey in September and after my personal discernment I started to wear only skirts and dresses. It makes me feel more feminine and honestly they're really comfortable (fleece lined tights are the best for winter). I've seen that a lot of the comments are people expressing how challenging it is to find modest clothing and some tips I have is to definitely look at your local thrift stores. They do have immodest clothing but they almost always have some midi or maxi length skirts/dresses. I also own a skirt from Modcloth and Downeast that I got from online. Amazon also has a lot of options for modest clothing.
I don't have luck as a big momma woman finding a lot of modest clothes unless I want to look a feel more like a dump truck. I'm overweight and I know it, but all the clothing out there is super tight and short, or old babushka look.
In the Netherlands we have a dress code in schools. Started 10 years ago with fathers who didn't want their daughters exposed to other girls wearing belly exposing t-shirts and mini skirts. Most people agreed with them and the dress code was surprisingly fast agreed upon . In other words: most people actually hate those clothes but didn't dare to say and do something about it but felt relieve when men stood up. now I hear Americans when they visit our country talk that they are surprised that Dutch girls are modest. We think now it is normal (as it should be). I am not bragging, just telling you how fast and smooth this change went. Vatican has a dresscode too. They have signs at the entrances and guards. No problems there.
I don’t know that it’s just to keep our bodies from prying eyes or protecting men from sin. It’s asserting my dignity and power - I am so special that I share myself only with those whom I choose. (Plus, I don’t want to get skin cancer, so covering up has a secondary perk)
I will say this video it is not for every women today most of them prich that they have the right to do wherever they want with there body thanks for this video and God bless the ones who are willing to follow God's comments
I'm so sorry to not wholeheartedly agree with all you said, as you are obviously so Christ centred I do trust your intentions, but it is so not about what you/we are comfortable with. We're comfortable because we were brought up in this century. It's not our opinion that matters, it's God's. Have you read what Our Lady said at Itapiranga? (I may be spelling it incorrectly). She says skirts to the knee, sleeves to the elbow, trousers if necessary but loose... Discernment is not a discussion. And are you really suggesting that 'club clothes' are okay? Even in clubs? I don't think so.
the bible says it is a shame for the man to cover his head and it is a shame for the woman to pray without a head covering or else she can shave her head better. In this modern age, it is normal for a woman to go outside without a head covering and have a haircut with long (er) hair. How do you view this as a Catholic?
I used to not think like this but now I see and find skirts and dresses not only more comfortable but also flattering and cute. They are also usually more modest and than pants or leggins. I found myself now keeping my dresses from summer and layering with cardigans and leggings for winter. Win win
Lots of great thoughts here. I hope it's okay for me to share Jennifer Scott's blog and RU-vid channel, The Daily Connoisseur. She talks a lot about dressing beautifully, presentably, and modestly.
Thanks for this video. I have one daughter that has come to a place where she believes that we need to be covered completely. I respect her desire for modesty, especially as concerns her children, but she tells them that God doesn't want girls to wear pants; that up until last century women were covered; that the saints would say our contemporary dress is a scandal and very sinful. And I'm not talking about booty shorts or low cut tops but even what you would say was perfectly modest. I have 2 other daughters, one that is more worldly and the other has what I think is a balanced idea of modesty in dress. The more worldly daughter who wears skinny jeans and shorts or dresses that show off a lot of leg doesn't dress as immodestly as a lot of young women these days. But of course, I love her to pieces, and all I see is a beautiful girl with a good heart. So I'm not very objective. What would you say to the daughter I first mentioned? The example you gave in modesty as regards different cultures doesn't faze her at all. And to clarify, I rarely wear pants but it's more vanity then modesty because my legs are chubby. Lol. If I was hiking, I'd wear pants!
Hi Anna, if your daughter is wearing only skirts and dresses and feels the need to be fully covered up because she is attending a traditional church such as the SSPX, then there is not much that you can do too counter her beliefs. These beliefs are coming from the church she is attending and I know from personal experience that they can be very strong. I dressed the same way for many years until I married and had children, at that point my husband would not tolerate the traditional church we were attending anymore, I finally looked at the beliefs of the church in depth and found that their arguements were not any stronger than the 'ordinary church'. I now wear jeans and go to regular Mass ;) If she is attending regular Mass and is overly scrupulous as regards dress, then it is can be helpful to find orthodox sources (such as Ascension presents!) who can reassure that they hold the same beliefs as her and are faithful to the church and think it's ok to find a middle ground between bikini and dress buttoned up to the neck. But it takes time to feel more relaxed about it :)
Thank you ladies well said. 🤗🤗 modest fashion examples would be helpful too. If you would pls make several vids on this for the young and the older ladies. Although there are a lot of age 40s type fashion vids out there that have very good ideas. But ultimately for me personally the more you respect our Lord and honor him, also show reverence to him the more I feel his love to me and I love that. It makes a great difference when we get ready for him.
