OP is in 100% right and I agree with her but she would have been smarter to say something along the lines of 'my NEEDS are more important than your stomach' instead of just blindly saying that SHE is more important, but I get that it was in the heat of the moment. But seriously why didn't brother and friends get pizza and OP and James go to where she wanted if they are THAT upset about it.
He's mad at HER for being immature? When he isn't suffering from nausea and can eat anything no problem, but was mad that the father of her child asked her what she could eat?
No it's not. Stating a fact doesn't make someone rude. Having medical needs does make you more important and the brother is and adult and can go get his own damn food.
might not have been the best wording but give that woman a break. shes pregnant, suffering from nausea and likely exhausted. i wouldnt put any blame on her for being blunt
She is more important. She has medical needs that have been talked about extensively. Sometimes people are more important than you and you have to suck it up, be an adult, and not get to have ice cream and pizza for a bit or go get it on your own an time.
Sooo I get what she meant and yes usually a pregnant woman being sick overrides what a group of guys just hanging out want to eat, but the way she said it and the seemingly weird circumstance under which she got pregnant makes me think they all suck. Sounds to me like she was secretly hooking up with his friend and the brother had no idea, then she moves in to his house that sounds nice if it’s the hang out spot, and then flat out tells her brothers she’s “more important than him” The brother was probably already upset his sister basically went after his buddy and then outside of them even really dating she got pregnant and moved in, so he feels like she was out of line to insert herself into their relationships I’d bet anything that’s what he actually was feeling and she was leaning into that feeling with the way the comment is phrased.
@@RaccoonRecluse she could have used a bit nicer tone instead of saying "Because im more important than you" whoch is a good way to start in argument. Something like "If you want Pizza we have some leftovers so suit yourself" or "Im pregnant you dummy"
@@mursi2734 Pregnancy can often cause mood swings, chances are she didn't mean to say it aggressively as she did, especially if she's having nausea. Imagine you had a headache, probably threw up that morning too and your sibling was being a dick about your food choice which YOUR baby dad asked you for. Like, he's family and is a full grown adult, having a different meal once in a while wouldn't kill anyone. Telling her to be nicer when she's already probably feeling overwhelmed from having a mass in her belly, that's just testing a mother's patience. (Some are assumptions, but reasonable ones because pregnancy is HARD.)
i mean OP is pregnant and has limited things she can eat so i get what she meant and where she was coming from, but she was rude in the way she said it. idk why the brother had to say anything in the first place though like she’s pregnant you doink let her choose the place to eat
The brother was rude first and there's nothing wrong with asking EVERYONE what they want to eat. It's not that hard to include everyone so they can enjoy it. Lol the brother lowkey deserved it, talking about she embarrassed his as if saying what he said would possibly embarrass james and op. He wasn't thinking about her feelings when he said that shit. Two wrongs don't make a right, but i don't think the brother has a right to be upset
@@methanoI everything? no. but most pregnant women have very very strong food aversions like even the smell of the food will make them sick all day. they also get insatiable cravings. at the end of the day it’s not a huge deal, it’s one meal. the brother is perfectly capable of getting food from somewhere else, as is OP. but if OP’s boyfriend/father of the child is the one buying, he’s more inclined to get food his girlfriend/mother of his child wants. the brother overreacted and OP was a bit of a bitch🤷🏼♀️
@@whatif3271 Yes and if he asked everyone and 9 out of 10 said pizza, then majority rules. Youre pregnant, wonderful. Then order youre own food. You dont need to change everything that everyone is eating if you cant eat that. Order your own damn food, hell tell your partner to pick it up for you. But dont change the entire thing because you feel entitled.
Except the others understood the boundaries. Thats how real life works. Your sick wife is infact more important than your friends preference for food and even more important than your tantruming adult brother who thinks she should starve or be stuck vomiting because he wants pizza. You don't get to demand your wife stop needing you, just because you want to hang out with the boys. It's called being a damn father and a responsible adult.
you're not more important than him, you just have more serious needs than him. Picking what the whole group eats because of yout pregnancy is a privilege not an expectation, him voicing frustration about it might be a bit childish since he was a guest but its not about who's important and whos not. literally get over yourself.
When it comes to deciding food yeah she is, she's got medical needs. And no, she didn't decide for the whole group, the whole group agreed to her deciding and the brother was the only one who had an issue. Apparently to her brother, she should either starve or be sick. Imagine if she has a peanut allergy and said to her brother she was more important than starvation or being seriously ill, but he still whines and demands to go to 5 guys. Same nonsence. Different medical issue.
@@RaccoonRecluse I don't think he got Mad about the changed food place. He got mad that his friend invited her to join them. They already had plans what they wanted to do as a group and his friend invited someone to join them, that would obviously interfere with their plans. Imagine you plan to spend time with your Friends and you had already decided to go climbing. Then one friend decides to bring another person with him that is known to be afraid of heights, so in the end you all have to sacrifice/give up your previous plans. Is it wrong to be mad in this scenario If you were excited to go climbing? For me it is fine to invite extra people, as long as they actually want to join the already planned activities. If she just tags along, but also demands to mix up the already existing plans, the Brother has every right to be mad at her, as she could also just not join
YTA. You’re not more important than anyone else just because you decide to have a child, and you decided to have a child with your brothers friend, an already existing relationship. You’re gonna destroy their friendship acting like this
Y'all should be saying this to the brother's friend who IMPREGNATED HER AND IS TRYING TO INCLUDE HIS PREGNANT GF INTO HIS BOY THINGS , op could've worded it a bit better but doesn't chang ethe fact that her brother is a fucking man child
I understand she’s pregnant and can’t eat certain things but if that’s when it’s normally guy time, I feel like you should have let them go do there own thing since it’s normally time put aside for the guys to hang out, maybe just had a relaxing night in your own or with James with a takeaway or somthing since it’s a pre determined thing they do together, and I wouldn’t say you’re more important, your needs might be since you’re pregnant but honestly that means the baby is more important not you
Yeah no, James is doing the right thing. If you get someone pregnant, you prioritise them because taking care of the unborn child is your responcibility, too. The brother is just being a brat. No one's gonna die if they don't get pizza, she however will feel sick and possibly throws up if they do get pizza. And again, James' priority is his unborn child and the woman he got pregnant, not "guy time".
@@laerramarie2620 I mean, they're living together. And regardless, like they said, helping take care of the pregnancy is exactly how it should work. Considering her dietary restrictions =/= what you said. It's pretty normal, I do the same for my friends with lactose issues or allergies. It's basic respect. 🤷♀️
To be fair, I doubt this was the first time she whinged or complained or mentioned that she’s pregnant and that her needs comes first. That would make anyone frustrated over enough time.
I love how the story talks about how everyone understood she's having medical issues, and you have the audacity to shame her for complaining. Brother can go get his own damn pizza if it's that important, because he's certainly not important enough to demand she starve or vomit constantly because he can't make small accommodations for a short time.
YTA, not because you didn’t want to go get pizza with the rest of them but because you just straight up said you’re more important. Can’t be saying shit like that because you simply aren’t.
No, you are the ahole for shaming someone with medical needs and sidding with a man child throwing a tantrum about not getting pizza and ice cream one damn time, when he could go get it himself if he's gonna be that damn flippant. She is more important when deciding food, she had medical needs. Imagine calling someone as asshole for not wanting to go to say 5 guys when they have a peanut allergy, same damn shit.
@@RaccoonRecluse how about you fucking read before trying to hard to prove someone wrong. I highlighted the fact that she wasn’t the asshole because of the exact thing you stated. She was the asshole because she said she was more important than him which she most definitely is not.
@@northDSX she is more important to the father of the child, obviously. But that group of friends made plans and not just the two/three of them. To the group that made the plans she is sort of an Outsider, so calling her more important is wrong
Everyone is complaining about her being rude, her brother dished it out first, he deserved that comment. Imagine being a grown *ss man and getting all whiny cuz you want pizza 💀
@@aravindas2729 yeah but they were mature enough to suck it up and understand why it has to be her choice. No one was that upset about it but the brother
YTA. You're at your BROTHER'S FRIEND'S house? You didn't need to be involved in your brothers friend group going out to eat, and if you did then you could have just ordered something other than pizza off the menu or wait to eat till you got home. And telling somebody that you're outright more important than them is not nice.
Did you purposely miss the point where his BROTHER'S FRIEND IS HER BABY DADDY AND AND HE ASKED HER WHAT SHE WANTED TO EAT bending over backwards for a manchild
Guys, her brother wasn't thinking about how she can't eat certain things because of the pregnancy. It's completely fair to ask why you're choosing 1 persons opinion over 3 peoples. Instead of explaining it she just gave a rude response
Ah yes, the fact that everyone else who doesn't live in the house understood that the wife was having a rough pregnancy, but it's okay for her brother to be a jerk because "he didn't think." Despite being told the situation many times.
Right thing, definitely wrong phrasing. You arent more important to him because you’re both human even when OP is carrying a baby and he isnt. You being pregnant doesnt make you special but that also doesnt hurt your ability to get something completely different from the group
Actually she is more important. It's the whole community's collective responsibility to encourage and support pregnant women to give birth to healthy babies. A woman and the baby she's carrying is worth more than 1 person alone is. However this is almost completely irrelevant when it comes to picking out where to eat dinner, because they could just get food at one place and then stay at another.
She is more important to her boyfriend and they came to hang with him. She isn't talking about in the universe. If you go to a man's house you're going to come second to his pregnant partner. As you should.
she is NOT more important. She is a part of the group and her NEEDS do outweigh his WANTS however. I think the brother is in the wrong, but she is too for not apologizing due to pride.
Dropping "I'm more important" in front of the bf, brother and other friends was really inconsiderate and emasculating for both the bf and brother as it puts them both in a really awl situation. Specially because it wasn't just the brother who wanted Pizza, she changed the whole groups plans because she's more importantl than her brother? Seems entitled to me. Could be missing details.
Wtf do you not get. First she didn't change shit, her bf was paying and so he ask her what she wanted. Did you not get this?? Then her brother acted like a spoiled kid cuzz he wanted pizza. Which lead into her being piss and so she answered rudely... Which is understandable. Should have said through because I'm more limited at the moment. Would have been the more polite way. How the fk did you see any of this as emasculating..
@@nisteven so many facts are wrong. They didn’t come over for her even. They came over for James. So she butted in, then asked the group tend to her needs even though they all wanted something else. Of course other friends cannot say anything since their friend’s pregnant gf. Only the brother can really speak up. So yes she was entitled. Could have ordered her own food, from anywhere. Gone to own place, just many options. But choose to think she is important for sleeping around. Edit: Can also say baby wasn’t even planned probably two stupid kids that didn’t make plans for sex. Seeing as moves in at five months into pregnancy. So guessing got knocked up very early on in relationship.
@@nisteven Because what she said forces the bf to either chastise his longtime friend or his pregnant fiancé ( not an option) and humiliates her own brother in front of his friends, that he his less than her to his own friends. How is that not emasculating? Call him a whinny little asshole or any other insult. Not that you are superior that others.
@@healbot Did we watch different videos? Or are you just mental?...... She was freaking ask..... He bf ask her to be there, he ask her what she wanted. So now it's entitled to answer a question? Do you believe that?
@@Cretaigne95 Well her bf didn't chastise anyone. She and her brother just ended up yelling at each other. However, even if he did. I still don't think that is emasculating.... At most it's embarrassing, which you deserve after being a whiny brat. My wife is way more important than others. I would have said or done worse to my brother in law if he said shit like that after I ask her. If she was pregnant then I would be even angrier at the brat. However, the whole emasculation, people keep saying, I almost always find dumb. To me most of the time you can only be emasculated based on your own bad action. Only if someone forces themselves on you or forces you to do things against your will. Can you be emasculated by others.
YTA, the OP did not have to say that annoying comment, the brother only said that the rest wanted pizza and it was only her that wanted something else. The OP took it the wrong way and insulted him, she was being rude and the brother hadn't said or done anything offensive, he just said a small complaint and it's not like he asked her to starve
I don't get why they couldn't do both. Whatever place she wanted probably isn't so fancy as to not do takeouts, pizza can also be delivered home. Why not use something Ubereats to get both?
OP is in the right. 1. James asked HER 2. shes literally pregnant and cant eat most things edit: she definitely could have used better word choice though.
50/50 on this one. She needs to deliver her lines better and not embarrass him. And he needs to understand pregnancy isn’t a cakewalk and sometimes she needs extra support.
I think it was a little harshly phrased if she said “I’m more important than you”. Regardless of if you’re right, it just doesn’t bode well for good will. But she is literally 5 months pregnant. Like what a stupid thing for the brother to complain about.
nta, but u can’t blame him too much. i would’ve got mad too if someone just said “i’m more important than you” u could’ve worded that better. instead u could’ve just said ‘ i’m pregnant and my needs are important right now.’ or something along the lines of that
Just because you are pregnant does not make you more important. You choose to be pregnant not all the other guys. If you don’t want pizza then go somewhere or make something else. Don’t make everyone else chance there plans for a choice you made.
Heck no, as a brother to a sister that was pregnant(she gave birth last year, I love my nephew) I would, and still do, take her needs into consideration first. Cause she is more important than my single a*s.
Yes and No, Yes as in, OP could have worded it better than just saying she is more important than him, but no as in its fair that she gets to pick, because she cant eat alot of foods currently.
I think the problem is that she was deciding for everyone else AFTER they had decided on pizza. They could get pizza while she gets something else. I get that’s she’s pregnant, but that doesn’t mean she should dictate what everyone around her eats.
If you have any dietary restrictions, wanting a large group to work around that is unreasonable, regardless of the reason why. Straight up implying that you’re more important is doubly so.
YTA. You decided to have a baby. You now have to deal with the consequences. If I were your brother, I would’ve felt very betrayed if my friend and sister decided to have a relationship while my sister simultaneously ruined me and my friends relationship. It was very rude to say “I’m more important then you.” I need more context. Was it his group of friends- you don’t have to go out to eat with them. He could pick you something up. Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t make you any more important then anyone else.
You can’t just tell someone “I’m more important than you.” That’s just rude. If she had mentioned the nausea, this whole argument could have been avoided.
but she is more important she's carrying his baby, he should and is putting her needs first. he asked her where she wanted to go, if the guys disagree then they can leave and go somewhere else. tbh I think it's only her brother than was complaining. I would expect my babies father to put my needs before that of my brother.
@@lx1128 i wasnt saying shes more important in general. she not having any child she's having this guys child. So yes she is more important to her babies father than than her brother is. If my husband put my brothers needs before mine at any point I wouldn't be happy (in the context of dineing out)
OP is definetly in the right!! But I think the situation could've been a bit better handled if she said something like "he asked me because I have bad nausea and ik what food wouldn't make me sick" instead of saying that she's more important that her brother cause that'd hurt anyone¯\_(ツ)_/¯not saying that the brother was right in any way (cause he wasn't) but just pointing something out
Yeah I get the point but it was quite rude. Like no one is more important than anyone else, u might have medical needs but u ain't more important. Plus they could have just eaten at separate places easy as that Like I get both sides, the baby's father should put the needs for the mother first but then also saying you're more important because you're pregnant is wrong
I mean strait up saying you are more important is an a hole move for me but I would just have explained and if he didn’t understand then I would get annoyed and say that
i don’t think OP is the AH but they definitely could’ve have reworded what she had said, but again being pregnant makes your hormones crazy, so i’m not surprise she’s snippy
OP is right but her reasoning is wrong. She's not more important than him as a person, her NEEDS with the nausea and issues with what she can eat are of a higher PRIORITY than her brother who could most likely eat anyway regardless of where they went.
YTA if you had nausea you could go and eat yourself you didn't have to take James and even if you had to there was no need to say that she was more important than his brother.
I think it was right for him to prioritize you, but yeah the wording "I'm more important than you" is really rude. just say "I'm pregnant and have more needs than you"
My thought is if your going out with friends and you'd mad plans to go get pizza why did they just do that and call in the food she wanted and pick it up? Simple problem
That’s a really fucking weird situation to be in, I’m not even going to comment on who the asshole, but that whole situation just seems so trashy to me
It's not that she's more important, but there are more considerations to take into account when going anywhere with a woman who is pregnant. She's already uncomfortable during the pregnancy, being nauseous isn't something you just want to feel.
I would say that there is no good side here, if you would have said that your situation is more important then its okay, you can never say that someone is less important than you. I get what you're getting at and I think that you could've just choosen a restaurant that has options suitable for both parties, I can't believe older people can't handle things maturely with logical thinking
You can’t tell someone you’re more important than them, but you can explain that since you’re pregnant that pizza doesn’t work for you. Being a mature adult and having adult conversations like that is important for being a parent. Now saying that when you’re near due is completely understandable, cause that is hell😂
Or possibly she could have found something to eat at home and went out or just not went out at all and let them eat their Pizza. I don't think that she's right I don't think that she's the bad guy. She doesn't want to be excluded but if it's over food in a first world country and you'll have choices I feel like she can step down on that battle. If the majority wants pizza and she doesn't want pizza she doesn't have to go out and eat pizza. She does not have to physically go anywhere they can bring her back food. Or get her food beforehand.
The fact sge needed something other than pizza isn't wrong. Nor is the fact you tried to explain it to her brother. But the "I'm more important than you" is. The word choice is what was wrong. There are much better ways to say "my dietary needs and the needs of my child mean I cant go eat pizza."
Pregnant woman’s food aversions should take precedence, however the brother is probably annoyed that she slept with his friend, moved into his friend’s place so he could help her with her pregnancy and cater to her needs, and still only refers to him as “the baby’s father.” Idk maybe James doesn’t want a relationship with her either but if I were the brother I would probably hate her or the friend or both for creating such a weird environment for my niece or nephew to be born into.
