AITA For Making A "Pregnancy Jar"?  

Rest of the post here: I made my way back to my seat and sat down and resumed eating like nothing happened. It got awkward afterward. Mom pulled me into the kitchen later to tell me that I embarrassed my brother infront of his wife and family and said I should quit acting childish by running around with a jar demanding others to put money in it, I told her they should quit asking then. She went on about how they're just worried for us since we are in mid 30s and don't have much time left if we want at least one healthy baby. I got upset and she started arguing. My husband and I left and we haven't seen them in days, except I got a call from my sister basically siding with mom and the others saying I'm being childish. So AITA for this? [Edit - Q&As... ] (1) this has been going on for years but in the past year it has gotten worse. (2) I already told them about how I feel regarding this question, my husband doesn't care much and says I should let it go too. (3) Yes they pay everytime because it's just a dollar, it won't make me any richer or them any poorer. (4) My husband and I spend the money on snacks to eat every night when watching tv or some toys for the dogs. One more thing... I realize that this could actually be expanded into wedding jar/Cake jar (for weight loss)/work jar/house jar/ and so no and so on. Depending on the the type of truggle because these are the things we struggle and get frustrated with often but.. with the fact that people will just keep asking then we might become millionaires one day. Lol. Also, someone suggested I up the price to 5$. It will mostly depend on the prices of gas, lol, so we'll see.

Lmao up the prices and when they bring up the question again and u pull out the jar and she tells u to stop being childish go "oh your right mom... It now $5 instead of $1 :) "

Imagine asking people if they are going to die soon, and using the excuse "well, I mean, old people are supposed to die, right? You're running out of time."

Bravo for you. That's one way to get them to shut up about you getting pregnant. My son and his wife are trying for a child and I never ask about when I'm going to be a grandma. It'll happen when it's time to happen

That hilarious. You get to tell people that you don’t want them asking, subtly without telling them to literally STFU. It’s a harmless way of telling them to stop asking.

I have PCOS. Im only 25, so I still have hope. So my fiancé and I have agreed that if I can't get pregnant, we'll adopt. Not now, but someday. Im asked by my family when are we planning to have kids. It got worse when my niece was born. So, to make them stop, We tell them I have fertility issues and am almostinfertile, but we are praying hard and hope to be blessed some day. Works every time. I work with a lot of older women who asked me about kids as well. I just give them the same answer. I don't think they like me, though, but i don't care.

I feel you should get one warning to know the jar exists

Honestly iconic. Obsessed with her

An alternative is, whenever you get asked when you’re going to have a baby, ask if they got laid last night/when did you last get laid. It’s a very similar question.

The question of: "When are you going to have kids?" Can also be interpreted as: "How many times do you creampie your wife/our daughter/my granddaughter/our sister/etc?' It doesn't sound like a conversation to have in a family setting now, does it?

NTA but that jar idea is so childish and ridiculous. My family was the same way, so I set a boundary that my husband enforced as well. If someone kept asking us after we told them to stop, we would stop hanging out with them and tell them it’s bc they won’t stop asking. That stopped immediately. your husband can’t even stand up for you. Have fun in your crap marriage

Oh yes, thank you so much, i will do that with lose weight jar. I have been told to lose weight multiple times

That is GENIUS!! love it.

Thats so smart you and your husband can by something nice for each other nta❤

NTA... it's none of their GD business...

Wow. Nice idea. I think i should get a job jar 😅

Absolutely not XD

LMFAO NTA people act butthurt when anyone asserts their boundaries . this is too funny and harmless to be an asshole move you hurt no one they just want you to feel bad for having an efficient way of shutting them down if they cross a boundary

NTA but I would tell them to shut the f up its none of their business

I’ve always thought it was so weird when people say “are you trying for a baby” or “we are trying for a baby” cause like why would you wanna know when your daughter or sister or whatever is getting it on and nutted in? Like it’s gross and unnecessary, it should be enough to know that they want one and will eventually get one

Parents are 'just worried' about OP... so they're making OP deal with/soothe their worry on top of her own stress about HER situation. If they truly were worried about OP herself and not subconsciously using her as a sounding board to manage their own emotions, then they'd be making an effort to act in ways that OP has identified as actually supporting her - first and foremost, shutting tf up about the whole pregnancy thing. Like, it sounds as though they managed to do that even if they clearly weren't happy about it, so mum should accept that it doesn't matter whether she's happy with it or not, and continue shutting tf up about it.

So it’s not ok for them to be uncomfortable but it’s ok to make other people uncomfortable? They need a taste of their own medicine

I think that's a fantastic idea actually! 100 % NTA and yall should keep the jar! My significant other and I tried for 7 years and struggled through so many fertility treatments (the issues were on my side). Our families just didn't believe that it was possible as Noone in either family has ever had any major problems in that way. I only wish I had come up with an idea like this when we were going through all that! We ended up adopting 2 beautiful girls though! ❤

I love that idea

This is AWESOME! I love creative people. NTA.

Definitely NTA. Family should mind their own business.

No girl. You brilliant. ❤❤❤

Yes

👏👏👏👏👏👏I love that idea 😃😃😁😁👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻..

My daughter was having a problem like that. I knew it was a painful subject, so unless she said something I kept my mouth shut. I also didn't offer unsolicited suggestions. The grandchild is turning 10 soon. 😊

My parents were ACCUSED of being bad catholics for not getting pregnant (1956) A proper married woman got pregnant on her wedding night. My parents didnt bothrr to tell these intrusive people that my father was surgically altered at age 15. Medical intervention didnt exist. It took three years for my brother to show up. My mom could have used a jar.

AH move? More like a quick and easy way to buy (future) kids new toys😂😂

Excellent idea!

That is genius

Stop asking people those questions. I know for generations they were been deemed acceptable since marriage and babies were viewed as a family affair. But in modern society it’s invasive and rude especially when you’ve been asked to stop!

NTA but maybe let them go the first time, if its their first time meeting and havent heard about it before. Still ask them but dont be forceful

Leave every time some one ask uou...

Come jar?

People ask out of concern or interest. When they don't care, that is the time to be worried. Perhaps people will pull out a jar when someone asks how they are or how's little Timmy.

Yta very much.

I don't think it's right to pressure people into giving you money for asking a common question