I have felt in the past couple of years that Alison has become more generous towards women. Before that, although she would say things like 'what if neither men nor women are doing anything wrong,' I did sense a type of smugness that long-married people often get towards members of their own sex, esp. those out in the dating world. I mean, it's easy to settle in with a loving partner for decades, think all men (or women) are like that and judge those who struggle with finding someone. But as anyone (male or female) who has been single for a while knows, the treatment you receive doesn't always depend on how you yourself behave, whether you're 'frog-farming' (or whatever the male equivalent is) or not. (Not that that is a reason to give up, become cynical or treat each other badly.)
I am an introvert in nature and so I can appreciate the concept that alone time is important. But, I will say, it is easy to embrace alone time when you know you have options should you want company. Alone time feels very different when you don't have options. When it is the only option. Happily pronouncing you don't feel the need to get married, when you have already ticked off that box in your life is not as big a deal. Being happy to be unmarried when you have never had your day, is a different feeling again. It is one thing if it is a true choice, but not if it is just something you have to accept but want. So, this is where Alison's work is important as it helps people who are struggling to make relationships flourish.
How to get a guy to open up: 1. Listen and don’t ask further prying questions. Wait for him to volunteer information 2. Don’t tell another soul what he shares with you 3. Don’t use what he told you against him Thats the trust part. The other 2 necessary parts for a man to fall in love with you are: 1. Positive vibe 2. Base level of physical attraction aka just good looking enough
Absolutelyyy. #3 is a deal breaker for any healthy man. A healthy woman will never break the trust of using what he's shared in open moments against him. This includes as ammunition in arguments.
