As a straight person I am very lucky to do those little things carelessly. I'm looking forward to the day everyone cannot do so without a second thought. For all those who can't yet feel safe or comfortable, you have my full support and love.
I have only the vaguest recollection of working with Panti as an English teacher in Tokyo more than 20 years ago, but I'm proud to have even the slimmest of connections to such a brave and eloquent person. I grew up naive and cloistered in Dublin and 20 years ago was like "Mary in Wicklow", guilty of passive homophobia, not knowing how to react on meeting an openly gay person. But I and, thankfully, the world have moved on a good deal since then. Not yet far enough but, with the help and insight of people like Panti, we'll get there.
On a totally unrelated note, how was it teaching in Tokyo? Being from the UK the thoughts I hear from immigrants is by and large positive (except for the food and the weather), but I've seen a lot of RU-vidrs that work or have worked in Japan (mainly English teachers) saying that not only do they struggle to fit in but they actually hate living and working there. I can't deny I have some interest in visiting and possibly one day living in Japan, the culture there fascinates me, but a lot of the RU-vidrs apparently moved to Japan with if anything even more admiration for the country than me, and ended up regretting the decision. I hope it's a mixed bag and not everyone has this issue, when I look at Japan I think 'this looks like a country where westerners could mix well'. I've actually heard people say more positive things about living in Iran or the UAE than I have Japan, despite the comparitively strict laws that exist there.
Powerful and unfortunately so true! It's smtg we tend to forget as gays, that we are 24/7 being alert, scanning our environment for any homophobia we might come across. It's a second nature which starts to emerge as soon as we realize we are different and gay. Life is not fair to those who happen to be born gay with their first major crisis during their teens because they have to come out. I wonder if any straights realize what a difficult start lots of gays have in life, solely on the fact that they are gay and society feels to need to pigeonhole those "out of the ordinary". I leaves me with great sadness that the world is still an unsafe place for gay, where in some countries you can still be killed just for who you are. How much longer are we accepting to be treated like second hand citizens?
not only for gay.. its.. almost all oppression.. like. when you learn that people want to murder, assault and legalize you out of existence.. that shit will never go away... and you dont know whether that nice person will hate you when you,well become visible. you dont know whether the new potential chef sees you and decides that, nope, they wont employ a black person, or a muslim.. and that the 50th time and it just gets deeper and deeper.. and.. it fucks ones brain up.. did they change seats because of me? do they stare at me hatefully or is it just a case of resting bitchface? do i get really ignored for 10 minutes in the shop or does that cashier always talks with customers despite seeing me wait for minute... it.. its always there, coloring all impressions, always the question.. did it happen because I am ____? what gives me away.(in cases of something less visible)
I remember Panti from years back when she hosted Drag Bingo at The George in Dublin. She's been a fixture around the city for years, and even back then, her fiercely independent nature was so inspiring to us. I am so happy to see that Panti/Rory O'Neill is still advocating, inspiring and challenging us to be a better human race through her words and deeds. Bravo, Panti.
I had never heard of Panti before I saw this video and frankly it is, I think, the best Ted talk I have ever heard. It never occurred to me that all those little things we take for granted are closed to gay people and I think it's outrageous that it should be so. I must say one thing that LGBT people would not like though, and that is: It is up to YOU to educate us straights. YOU are in the minority so are pretty much unknown to most people. People always fear the unknown and fear brings aggression and violence. As I told my paraplegic boyfriend years ago, I don't know what it feels like to live in a wheelchair, I don't know what you need or how you want me to act towards you and around you. It's not up to me to learn these things, it's up to you to teach me. Panti is doing that in her articulate and powerful but friendly way, and I greatly admire her for doing so. Thank you.
The misunderstanding is that a lot of people don't know what a drag queen is. Regardless of your political posturing on whether or not a trans person deserves to identify with a gender role that has not been assigned to them, that has nothing to do with drag queens. Drag queens are characters, both Rory and Panti exist as two separate entities, one of them is a fictional character created by Rory (and others). If you're going to have a hissy fit over whether or not Panti deserves to be called a woman, you might as well start protesting over Darth Vader being called Darth Vader instead of David Prowse, James Earl Jones, Hayden Christensen and all the other people who have played the 'Character' of Darth Vader over the years.
I have to disagree: It's up to everyone to educate everyone else about anything they don't know, and also asking, wanting to know, to be willing to understand, learn, apply and therefore being able to support anyone who needs it. Personal experiences help a lot, but often no one talks about it or has the opportunity to do so. School, public education and media also have to play a big role here, like this talk.
I'm trans and have been discriminated against, sexually harassed and bullied in the work place, stalked by haters with death threat for months on end with only forced response by police after going to states attorney office, attacked and hospitalized for doing nothing other than being me. I a veteran and work nursing I consider myself a kind compassionate person.
I have to admit when I saw this guy I groaned because as a gay man I thought: "oh another flamboyant gay". However, when he started talking I realized that I agreed with everything he was saying. All of it is absolutely true. I do have to put up with these little things every day and I hate it. Respect to this guy for not putting up with this shit anymore.
+George Jones as part of the queer community, i am very against categorizing gays. flamboyant gays, masculine gays, any kind of gay... we're all queer. if we're divided by "how gay we are" then we have nothing. don't throw feminine gays under the bus for the sake of being a "good gay"
+George Jones i'm not saying you have to like them. but writing someone off and acting like they're less worthy of respect because they're a 'flamboyant gay' is the exact kind of dehumanization Panti is talking about in the first place
VoyagerOne Just to be clear I would never dream of mocking someone in person based on their appearance or voice, I'd form my own opinion of them as time went on. However, just as a basis I find flamboyant men annoying whether they be gay or straight.
Wow, Panti you said it all in 20 minutes. We should use this as an educational tool across all grades and ages. It is perfect, on point! Thanks Lady Bunny for the link.
I always try not to notice but I can't help smiling when I see a gay couple holding hands or cuddling etc. Because I'm a gay teen from a small homophobic, rural town and it gives me hope.
Hatred always stems from some sort of fear, some kind of insecurity. I try to pity people who are full of hate and anger, but it get's so hard to show compassion and understanding for those who refuse to try and give the same back.
Panti always telling true stories in the best and most passionate way. Straight people couldn't imagine the constant second-guessing and hesitation gay couples, and gay people in general, have to face almost every day of their lives. It's not fair when people who don't even know you think they have the right to be vocal about what's wrong (in their ignorant view) about your life. Hopefully, the world can change. Great TED talk.
Little by little, thank goodness. But I don't know if I'll ever experience a completely calm feeling walking down a random street holding my partner's hand. That's the tragedy.
WOW! That was an amazing portrayal of how even in a society that seems for the most part to be accepting, minority groups still face challenges, discrimination, and oppression. Massive thumbs up to Panti Bliss for this beautiful, inspirational, and well-thought out talk.
I was blessed with a very loving family, great friends and a lot of self esteem when I came out in the early 90's in a very catholic city in in Germany. However, I still can relate to everything Panti says. And though I know that things have improved a lot for LGBT in Europe and most of the western countries, homophobia still is a big issue- not only here, but especially in places like Russia, let alone Islamic states. So thank you, Panti, for speaking up and explaining this complex topic in a few simple words- Bravo!
Great talk! it really vocalized a lot of the thoughts and feelings i have had over the years in a very coherent and passionate way, From this speech and other actions Panti is a remarkable person, i hope she goes on, in both drag and not, exactly the way she is without compromise, im only 21 but im fed up too!
This speech is extremely powerful and in the context it is said is a way for people to sit up and listen without becoming defensive on the actions they may do or the thoughts they may have about the LGBT community. It also reinforces that there is still a way to go before equality actual means equal! xx
This was a quite wonderful and rousing speech. I first heard it without seeing it and closed my eyes and floated off onto a different plane utterly captivated by this amazing speaker's powerfully phrased words so perfectly delivered. Only someone with a heart and mind of stone could fail to be moved, particularly by that last sentence: "I am not asking anymore just being...human being".
One of the best TED Talks I've seen. How can any homophobe watch this and not change their views? It's so simple; it's so simple to think in a way that is logical.
Hi, Panti/Rory/Your Majesty, High Queen of Ireland :) - i have sent you an email but am also hoping you'll read this comment. I have written a song about this very topic - LGBTQI folks feeling unsafe even holding hands in public. I hope you'll consider recording it AND performing it at the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras this year. (I was there on Fair Day of last year, and performed my marriage equality song, as well as one about reparative therapy). Thank you for all you do for our community...maybe one day we'll just all be human beings -- no 'labels' -- just real people! hugs 2 u!
An excellent speech ! My spouse and I are lucky in that I appear male so we can get away with an emotional embrace. In reality I was born with an intersex body that had both male and female bits but a female brain. So I express myself when we are alone together and yes this is painful.
One of the Best Ted Talks I ever heard. Kudos to Panti for her intellectual, elegant and candid speech! She is right; I never thought of myself as homophobic or discriminate against Gays but Panti put it in perspective for me because I realize now that I do every now and then glance at gays holding hands, not out of homophobia but because of the thought of their sex lives behind closed doors. I subconsciously think about it however, I never think of myself as homophobic because I have for a long time accepted gays. I am glad to have listened to this talk because now, I have to tell myself that they are just being-Human Beings!
What a beautiful expression of love of oneself. I am deeply touched by the sentiments expressed here and can only wish he is now able to live a happy life and know the love he deserves.
I have to be honest, I came into this having my doubts because I’ve never really understood drag queen culture...but wow. Her comments about being jealous of the little things straight couples take for granted were spot on. I’ve always felt that but she put it into words so perfectly. I’ve been with my husband 14 years. We are 100% secure in our marriage and our relationship. But if we ever find ourselves at, say...the mall....holding hands or those little touches aren’t something we can casually do. It’s very conscious. Excellent talk! This might be one of the most moving talks I’ve been fortunate enough to watch. Hey
This. This is magnificent. I have never heard a more empassioned, philosophic, humanist, and even Irishly lyrical presentation of the case evidence for us to transcend the petty b.s. that separates us socially from anyone else. It is not, nor should ever be, an us vs them emotional wall. Situation, circumstance, communication and EMPATHY are required in dealing with anyone else, no matter their gender, color, belief system, or (sadly) fashion sense (or lack of).
So moving, so compelling, I don't blame anyone for being fed up with it! I don't know that things will be *perfectly fine* within this generation, this lifetime, but so many good strides have been made. It's not enough, I know, but it's something... it's a start to something.
I am a 37 years old gay HKer in Hong Kong. I have been holding hands with my lovers publicly on the streets, in public transport. I won't even choose the guy to be my love if he is not bold enough to hold my hand on the streets. Ms Panti, thank you for reminding how fortunate we the younger generations of gays are **big hug**
I am WELL late for this party, BUT, found this video by accident, as a Transwoman, I know exactly what you mean about having to be on one's guard every time one goes out. FAB video.
I've been fighting since adolescence with what she's expressed. This video has brought tears to my eyes. The truth really hurts. I too didn't want to be different or be laughed at or feel shameful for who I am. It's EVERY human's right to be respected and feel dignity for who one is. Every human has the right to feel and share love. Of course one gets worn out and fed up of not being able to live freely and simply be who you are. It is certainly time we move on and stop criticising others and making others feel lower than ourselves because they are considered DIFFERENT or not considered NORMAL. Ignorance is NOT bliss, and hurting others only makes the world a worse place to live in. EQUALITY and FREEDOM and DIGNITY for all gay men and women, for blacks, for women in general, for immigrants...FOR EVERYONE!
I am 47 and I am tired, I am 47 and I am exhausted, I am 47 and I am human. Thank you Panti. While this is an old clip it,is still so relevant. If you take out the terms Marriage and insert “religious freedom” it’s the same argument. I’m from Australia and only in recent years did my monogamous relationship of 20 year go to a public referendum, which was successful. But not without a vile and hideous campaign by the religious right and bigots. How my personal life effects those out side of it, I am still wondering. We are now in a religious freedom phase of trying to put us back in the closet and make,it ok to vilify LGBTI communities (case still pending). I am tired of fighting, I am tired of being scared and I am tired of being tired.
I live in a country that is still fighting for marriage equality and the language argument is everywhere and it's just so ridiculous. The are opponents now going with "same rules and rights, different name" like it's a reasonable compromise. I envy Ireland and admire it. Great speech, Panti.
There is only one line that I would have to disagree with: "that I am as unremarkable as you are....". Panti, if there is one thing you are not, it's unremarkable. I'm 66 now, and together for 39 years, and married 2 1/2 years ago, when it became legal in the State of New York, and just wonder if a 1st generation Irish-American can vote on May 22nd!
