am I a trans guy or non-binary?

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how I figured out my gender identity and went from identifying as non-binary to an ftm trans guy :)
Instagram: lukahauptmann
TikTok: @luka_elias7
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Hi I'm Luka,
Every Monday and Thursday I post videos about lifestyle and self-development, but make it queer 🏳️‍🌈
Subscribe for more inspiration and motivation! :)

Опубликовано:

22 мар 2021

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Комментарии : 284

@Elliot_1987 3 года назад

this is so helpful cause right now I'm identifying as nonbinary yet still questioning my gender identity

@LukaHauptmann 3 года назад

thanks! I'm glad I can help :)

@wonkusbonkus8528 3 года назад

Me too :')

@samdal420 3 года назад

Same

@orkaii1408 3 года назад

Same

@peachboy222 2 года назад

Same

@leafytaffy7291 3 года назад

“Are you a trans man or nonbinary?” Yes

@dankelly7712 5 месяцев назад

You cannot be both trans and nonbinary; that is, if by “trans” you mean transsexual (and not just “transcending gender”) The whole point of being trans is that you are choosing to be one part of the binary.

@syhsreybse 3 года назад

i feel good being seen as a guy, kind of but i dont know if thats just because its better than being seen as a girl. But i dont really fully feel like a guy and then other confusing stuff related to being nuerodivergent

@LukaHauptmann 3 года назад

yea it can be really complicated. i completely understand that! be patient, there is no rush :)

@dinopines9191 2 года назад

Are we the same person because i feel your pain :’)

@cosplayphantom Год назад

I feel exactly the same!!

@tinky8888 5 месяцев назад

Did you ever figure it out?

@Ranpo_Edogawa954 4 месяца назад

You could be a demiboy

@blueberrymuffin7207 2 года назад

"If you have questioned your gender identity for a long time, you're probably no cis." damn, hadn't thought about it like that. I've been questioning for like 4 years always telling myself I couldn't possibly be trans but then somehow I always come back to it. Very confusing process haha. But thank you so much for your video!

@vozdelarazon9811 Год назад

There are only two genders, you born as male or female nothing else

@traceeskibell7319 3 года назад

Yours is a wonderful story. I am 52 years old and just now trying to figure all of this out. I came out as a lesbian nearly 30 yrs ago and found a very comfortable place to land...Butch. I so admire all of the younger people out there who are embracing their true self so early in life. Truth be told, I’m a bit jealous....sort of. I’ve been called sir for at least 25 yrs (to the point that I look up if someone says sir, but am clueless when I hear ma’am.) I am breathing into the idea of being non binary....but. When I first came out (@ 23) I told my parents I thought maybe I might possibly be sort of bi-sexual. Makes me laugh now. In that moment, bi seemed like a softer place for me to land. (DISCLAIMER: I know that there are many bi people out there who truly are bi and I completely honor that.) Anyway, it didn’t take me 2 seconds to realize that wasn’t my place in this world. I find myself thinking that non binary might be my equivalent to bi back in the day. As a child, even in my 20’s and 30’s being ftm just wasn’t a reality. When I struggle the most with the questions, I take myself back in time as ask “who are you?” It would have been an easy decision back then. Not so easy (for me) at midlife. Anyway, thank you for sharing your story....Information is power and you’ve given me a bit more.

@CorwinFound 2 года назад

I came out as bi at 19 and at 45 I came out again as trans/non-binary. Took a bit of figuring out but I finally landed on trans man with some non-binary aspects. There is no age limit to self discovery, self acceptance, and even self change. Maybe I was always trans but couldn't see it. Maybe I wasn't. All I know is that I started finding a new me at 40 and after 5 years, accepted that transition was what I needed to do to be happy. A year in including social transition, HRT and top surgery and not a single regret. Not saying you are trans or non-binary or anything at all, only you can figure that out. But please don't put an expiration date on any of this. Weird shit happens at every age. lol

@theharshtruthoutthere 8 месяцев назад

@@CorwinFound Being "trans" is a lie from masons, search about them, be not deceived by them. none are "trans", all are victims of masonry depopulation agenda.

@theofficeholic1518 3 года назад

♪ Am I a man Or am I nonbinary? If I'm nonbinary, then I'm a very manly enby Am I nonbinary Or am I a man? If I'm a man, that makes me an enby of a man ♪

@reincarnated.phoenix 3 года назад

Hahah same

@thefuckwhat7851 3 года назад

Transmasc song

@cinmin8983 3 года назад

MUPPETS YES

@hninoowai1431 2 года назад

haha same

@user-nm2cl3xh7q 2 года назад

And I found my middle ground as transmasc

@LukaHauptmann 3 года назад

Because I get this question almost every day, I decided to make a video about it. I think it's important to know that many trans people you see on the internet seem like they might have figured it all out and maybe they have but everyone struggled at one point and in my opinion it should be more normalised to be questioning your gender and not have it all figured out yet. So for me personally it gave me a sense of safety to first identify as non-binary even though looking back I've always felt more like a guy. But I was scared and being non-binary gave me the space and freedom to experiment with my gender for a while. Anyways, hope you enjoy the video and don't hesitate to ask me any questions! 💛

@scooter6104 3 года назад

Ngl, I'm glad I'm able to listen to this dude's experience. As someone who wasn't given the option of being trans until high school, I didn't really think about gender very much until the age of 13 (middle school). I had a difficult time with proving to myself that I was trans (let alone the family I did come out to) because most experiences I heard about were people that knew at a younger age.

@saggguy7 2 года назад

lol if 13 is too old to realize you’re trans this whole community is done for

@MidnightEkaki 2 года назад

Me who realised i was trans at 26:

@scooter6104 2 года назад

@@MidnightEkaki okay, but you are also super valid, I hope that transitioning hasn't been too difficult for you.

@pair4409 2 года назад

i realized i was trans at 14 (i was in denial) but i do have signs since i was a kid lol

@jowno2821 3 года назад

i'm pretty sure i'm trans rn and when i look back, i never really thought i was a girl and never thought about a future as a girl

@sugart_xx 2 года назад

Same

@jaccrossan810 3 года назад

It’s really reassuring to hear that I’m not the only one who feels afraid of possibly being a dude and what that would mean for my life

@Syntaxxed Год назад

Goddaaayum I relate to so much what you say. Coming out with a "vague explanation" because it feels safer than slapping a label on it. Feeling weird about asking people to use other pronouns. Wanting some effects of T but not all of them. Being trans and also nonbinary is difficult to navigate even in your own mind. Thank you so much for sharing your emotional side of the journey!

@lake_siren6206 3 года назад

Its cool finding someone who went from nonbinary to trans guy, I thought I was a trans guy for a couple years but then I realized I was non-binary its cool to see the other way around :D

@prettiepaw1614 3 года назад

for me, im super feminine, and i pass as a girl so im probably always going to be called “ma’am” or “miss” but i don’t really identify with that. i use he/him pronouns and have been trying to look for a masculine name (Dante has been looking like a sexy name imo), but i don’t identify with being considered a man. i think if anything demiboy would fit my description but i think i’ll stick with non-binary :3 i like how mysterious it is, because it can be expressed in so many different ways. but as soon as i learned about bottom surgery i was like “yes please” but i wasn’t sure yet because i want to but i want to at least have people use a masculine name and pronouns first before i make that step :3

@Danoontje4_ 3 года назад

Dante is an amazing name :)

@flowerlamps 3 года назад

transmasculine?(not saying this is what you are but just giving you an option of something you could look into)

@hninoowai1431 2 года назад

same here

@erichamilton3373 2 года назад

The pronouns have nothing to do with how you feel. Theu reflect others' perceptions. Just relax. They're just pronouns and don't define you.

@АлександраГришина-с5р Год назад

Aren't you scared of risks of bottom surgery?

@MagicalPiano 3 года назад

questioning is a good thing! :)

@LukaHauptmann 3 года назад

Yesss for sure :)

@yukarimariapiresmachadoeri6312 3 года назад

Same, but if I come out as trans, I'm scared of people hating me, more than I hate myself and loosing people I love, would kill me inside. :( and changing name etc is difficult.

@sugart_xx 3 года назад

I‘m 14 and I‘m AFAB. But since 2 years I am questioning my gender everyday and it’s giving me a hard time. I never really questioned my gender as a little kid. I just didn’t care, I think. I just didn’t like feminine things. When I was in elementary school everyone called my „it“, they said I am outside a girl and inside a boy. I never had a problem with it since I was/am really really boyish. In February 2020 (I was 13) I cut my hair short after thinking of it for nearly a year. People often said sir or used he/him cause they thought I was a boy and I had zero problems with that. I really enjoyed it. But every time my mom or my friends corrected them and said „No she is a girl, not a boy“. I felt uncomfortable. In August 2020 I really liked a boy at that time and he said to me that I looked way better with long hair. And that’s when I started to grow my hair out again. I am not sure if I did it cause I wanted him to like me or if I just thought „It’s just a phase and the short hair is confusing me. Just be a girl and these thoughts will go away“. But they didn’t. People stopped thinking I was a boy and everyone called me she again. I was not entire uncomfortable with it but I liked it way more when they thought I was a boy. So in June I cut my hair again. Everytime someone say he/him I have the biggest smile on my face. In the Internet I always present as a male and I like it. I think Im trans but also not??? I wanna be a boy and I like it when people see me as a boy but is it just cause Im a confused teenager who isn’t sure of themself or is it because Im actually transgender?

@ΜαρίναΞυπολιά 3 года назад

Currently I'm having troubles too about gender but if you feel like a boy...If you see yourself as a boy or anything you should consider it... But making research is always helpful ok?

@ナイトチェイサー 2 года назад

My current dilemma

@zemny1264 2 года назад

If you have masculine gēnitals then you're a male, if not you're a female, but why would you like to change that? Wether you're religious or not we were born like that, and this "change your gender" trend is here for a reason. Why do you worship Satan? Whoever makes a breach with the Messenger, after the guidance has become clear to him, and follows other than the path of the believers, We will direct him in the direction he has chosen, and commit him to Hell-what a terrible destination! 116. God will not forgive that partners be associated with Him; but will forgive anything less than that, to whomever He wills. Anyone who ascribes partners to God has strayed into far error. 117. They invoke in His stead only females. In fact, they invoke none but a rebellious devil. 118. God has cursed him. And he said, “I will take to myself my due share of Your servants.” 119. “And I will mislead them, and I will entice them, and I will prompt them to slit the ears of cattle, and I will prompt them to alter the creation of God.” Whoever takes Satan as a lord, instead of God, has surely suffered a profound loss. 120. He promises them, and he raises their expectations, but Satan promises them nothing but delusions. 121. These-their place is Hell, and they will find no escape from it. 122. But as for those who believe and do righteous deeds, We will admit them into gardens beneath which rivers flow, where they will abide forever. The promise of God is true-and who is more truthful in speech than God? 123. It is not in accordance with your wishes, nor in accordance with the wishes of the People of the Scripture. Whoever works evil will pay for it, and will not find for himself, besides God, any protector or savior. 124. But whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, and is a believer-those will enter Paradise, and will not be wronged a whit. 125. And who is better in religion than he who submits himself wholly to God, and is a doer of good, and follows the faith of Abraham the Monotheist? God has chosen Abraham for a friend. 126. To God belongs what is in the heavens and what is on earth, and God encompasses everything. 127. They ask you for a ruling about women. Say, “God gives you a ruling about them, and so does what is stated to you in the Book about widowed women from whom you withhold what is decreed for them, yet you desire to marry them, and about helpless children: that you should treat the orphans fairly.” Whatever good you do, God knows it. 128. If a woman fears maltreatment or desertion from her husband, there is no fault in them if they reconcile their differences, for reconciliation is best. Souls are prone to avarice; yet if you do what is good, and practice piety-God is Cognizant of what you do. 129. You will not be able to treat women with equal fairness, no matter how much you desire it. But do not be so biased as to leave another suspended. If you make amends, and act righteously-God is Forgiving and Merciful. 130. And if they separate, God will enrich each from His abundance. God is Bounteous and Wise. 131. To God belongs everything in the heavens and everything on earth. We have instructed those who were given the Book before you, and you, to be conscious of God. But if you refuse-to God belongs everything in the heavens and everything on earth. God is in no need, Praiseworthy. 132. To God belongs everything in the heavens and everything on earth. God suffices as Manager. 133. If He wills, He can do away with you, O people, and bring others. God is Able to do that. 134. Whoever desires the reward of this world-with God is the reward of this world and the next. God is All-Hearing, All-Seeing. 135. O you who believe! Stand firmly for justice, as witnesses to God, even if against yourselves, or your parents, or your relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, God takes care of both. So do not follow your desires, lest you swerve. If you deviate, or turn away-then God is Aware of what you do. 136. O you who believe! Believe in God and His messenger, and the Book He sent down to His messenger, and the Book He sent down before. Whoever rejects God, His angels, His Books, His messengers, and the Last Day, has strayed far in error. 137. Those who believe, then disbelieve, then believe, then disbelieve, then increase in disbelief, God will not forgive them, nor will He guide them to a way. 138. Inform the hypocrites that they will have a painful punishment. 139. Those who ally themselves with the disbelievers instead of the believers. Do they seek glory in them? All glory belongs to God. 140. He has revealed to you in the Book that when you hear God’s revelations being rejected, or ridiculed, do not sit with them until they engage in some other subject. Otherwise, you would be like them. God will gather the hypocrites and the disbelievers, into Hell, altogether. Quran

@sugart_xx 2 года назад

@@zemny1264 Hi, first of all, why do you care about MY gender identity. This is none of you business! Second of all why are you forcing a religion onto me,, I never asked for your opinion. I don’t know what kind of evil you think I am but all I am is a 15 year old teenager who is uncomfortable in their body, I didn’t hail Satan or what other stuff you said. All I’m doing is trying to figure out who I am and what I’m comfortable with and there’s nothing wrong with that. Your acting like we’re living in the 12th century,, You should really have bigger Problems then caring about someone’s gender on the Internet. Please educate yourself, thanks

@pair4409 2 года назад

just be you, whatever you comfortable in. dont worry, you dont need to label yourself, bc i dont really have a label either.

@Pathos_p 3 года назад

just be both ez but serious, it's ok if you don't have a hard line between labels or are unsure! don't worry about shifting what terms you identify with or identifying with multiple at once, it can be complicated both to figure out and your final label doesn't have to be simple ^^

@beanvillus 3 года назад

First I was like so sure I wanted to be a boy, but now I'm not that sure anymore... I think I'm into girls, and I'm exploring the idea of being non-binary. Wish me luck! (Of course you don't have to and everything, if you don't want to.)

@LukaHauptmann 3 года назад

Good luck! just take the time to explore and don't put too much pressure on yourself and then you'll figure it out eventually!

@beanvillus 3 года назад

@@LukaHauptmann Yeah, I know . It's just hard sometimes, because you want to know now, so that you can take the next step. But you surely know that...

@LukaHauptmann 3 года назад

@@beanvillus oh yea I know that too well! :D

@asherb.4313 2 года назад

this was much more helpful than the basic "i just knew" like HOOOW

@Zwetschge114 2 года назад

Thank you so much for sharing this! I've been watching videos from trans guys for years and recently also from nonbinary people and i've been questioning my gender all that time and especially in the last few weeks i've gotten to a point where i'm like "how can i have thought about this for years without ever coming to a conclusion??" and just knowing that there's other people who also don't know/needed years to figure it out is so reassuring!

@LukaHauptmann 2 года назад

yes totally! take all the time you need :)

@MudouSarah 2 года назад

"I didn't really question whether I was trans or not, because I wasn't presented with that option" hit deep.

@schoolemail190 3 года назад

Thanks for making this video 💙 I'm really confused. I got bullied at school for being "butch" I didn't think I was a trans male because I'll always feel like I'm not a "real boy" and it's a horrible feeling. People presume I'm a lesbian, I don't know if it's just internalised hatred but thinking of myself as a 'manly' girl just makes me feel disgusting 😭😂

@julnmsn 3 года назад

Lately I’ve rlly disliked my female body parts and just kinda being feminine in general. So I’ve been questioning my gender bc of that, but I’m not too sure if I’m trans or if it’s just bc of misogyny. To explain it more, I’m lesbian and I think it could just be bc I feel like having female body parts/being feminine is for male approval. But it’s like at the same time my ideal image of myself doesn’t look or feel like a girl

@jsjdjdj0xoxxx 3 года назад

A gender therapist can help

@augustwalker3295 2 года назад

Thank you so much for making this. I have been so scared of being wrong about my identity that I haven't talked about it to anyone. Like you were, I'm currently in college and surrounded by new people, I'm also out as non-binary to myself and panic whenever someone asks me my pronouns. I struggle with not wanting all the effects of T, feeling like being male would be impossible, and not being so sure about he/him pronouns; something that is confusing when I do want to change my name and get top surgery. It has been scary to feel so unsure. Your story being similar to mine made me feel seen and understood for the first time in maybe ever. Hearing how you were able to come out slowly and still be supported while navigating your identity (and your views on coming out in general) has given me so much hope. This was exactly what I needed to hear right now, thank you again

@peterevans6480 3 года назад

I relate so much to this video, it made me feel so validated in my identity. Thank you.

@jayden_1719 3 года назад

All i know is am not a girl ._. Cant figure out if I'm enby or a boy

@april_showers15 3 года назад

This is exactly how I feel I think I might be gender faun tho

@cobaltshrimp9731 Год назад

This video was so helpful, thank you for making it! I'm questioning my gender a lot and I think I'm a guy, but I'm just not sure yet. The fact that I'm late with realizing (23) also really plays into that, I think. This was the first time hearing a trans guy's story that aligns so much with my own experience so far. It's super assuring. So just one big thank you

@envys4950 3 года назад

I'm so confused. I am assigned female at birth, but I use he/him and identify with trans. I'm young (under 15), And I can imagine myself as a boy but not really a man. Does anyone else relate? I like the idea of being a girl and I like the idea of being a boy. It started when I got really bad gender envy from feminine males and I only wanted to be feminine as a boy.

@tapptapp123 3 года назад

Yes, I can relate, but I think there can be a lot of reasons. I'm 23, afab, and questioning my gender for years now. I never saw myself as a girl, but I'm okay with the term boy. But i do not feel like I could be a "man", mostly because I'm kind of afraid that I can't live up to the expectations that come with that word, but also because I don't feel like a grown up. I can't really relate to the second part you wrote because I never really liked presenting feminine. But there is absolutly nothing wrong with being trans and presenting feminine, there are lots of people out there doing that!

@Cricketsmoker 2 года назад

Same

@Ash_Shark_ 2 года назад

I relate a lot, maybe thats just because thats where we are right now and picturing the future is weird?

@Ash_Shark_ 2 года назад

I relate with the second point as well. for me I think its because they can be feminine yet no one would question whether they were a boy

@hninoowai1431 2 года назад

relatable

@kaned5543 2 года назад

Wow, I see so much of myself in this story. I first started identifying as nonbinary in my mid 20s, and I'm finally taking my first dose of T, literally today, at 31, and being comfortable with knowing that I am a transmasc on the masculine end of the spectrum within that nonbinary identity. It's taken the years of me allowing myself to be outside of the binary to come to terms with it. I'm stoked to see my body change to align with who I am inside. Sometimes that journey takes time.

@40b1n 3 года назад

Idk if im masculine nonbinary or transguy

@ItzJamiee 3 года назад

same :/

@40b1n 3 года назад

@@ItzJamiee atleast someone relates to me🥲

@ItzJamiee 3 года назад

@@40b1n I think I've just realised I'm transmasculine!! I relate and want to be percived as male but don't identify as male :)

@ItzJamiee 3 года назад

@@40b1n Hope you figure your identity out :) Happy pride month!!

@40b1n 3 года назад

@@ItzJamiee Thats great! Thank you and you too:)

@StarbloodFox 2 года назад

2 minutes in and your words are my thoughts. I'm crying

@forkindonuts 2 года назад

thanks for this i usually see people coming out as nb after they transitioned not coming from nb to just a guy i felt the same way and it makes me feel a whole lot better and a bit emotional looking back (im already 6 years on T) cause i never feel the same like most trans guys that know from an early age i was just there in that grey area not caring even when i was uncomfortable sometime.

@themarvelbunch8604 3 года назад

I feel like I switch between a trans guy and something outside the binary. I don’t know how to explain it, but like one day I feel like a boy and the next I feel like neither. And I’m so confused, like how do I identify myself?

@dogiplayer 3 года назад

i’m pretty sure that’s demiboy, it’s like mostly boy but the other bit is nonbinary, i think. search it up you’ll find a better explanation and that might fit you:)

@Danoontje4_ 3 года назад

You might want to do some research about genderfluid, demiboy or bigender :) Gender is very confusing sadly enough

@silvergalaxy3758 2 года назад

you could identify as genderfluid, or more specifically, genderfaun, which is when your gender changes between different non-feminine genders!

@devrilz 2 года назад

maybe try looking up the boyflux identity!

@sleepvillainz 2 года назад

you can be a non-binary man! a man whos identity and presentation as a man is outside the normal reigns of binary men

@eevee1791 3 года назад

When i was younger i felt like im not a girl but I didn’t quite feel like a boy so i just thought maybe im just a cis girl who is a tomboy but ever since i was 14 and found out what non binary means i feel like that fits me

@curlypenguin 2 года назад

Thank you for this video, it's super helpful. About 90% of the things you said in this video I was thinking yes this is exactly me and it's really encouraged me to talk to my friends about it when before I was planning on only saying something once I'd actually figured it all out.

@LukaHauptmann 2 года назад

that's amazing! :)

@jamietherelentless2670 2 года назад

Your story is very similar to my own, it's nice to see someone else who had doubts and thought they were enby first. Thanks for sharing this stuff.

@pinkforguys 2 года назад

dude tysm. this was very relateable. it's rlly hard to come to terms with the fact that one is trans ;;

@muzicfreek1986 10 месяцев назад

I am 37 and started to question things over ten years ago. It was sort of an off and on sort of thing. I got my first binder from a friend and when I put it on I was beyond excited and happy. Then I'd forget about it and go about my life and days convinced that no women wanted their breasts or reproductive system, it was normal that I complained about them and insisted I wanted them both gone because, "I didn't ask for them! I don't want them! I never plan to use them! I want them gone!!" Now at 37, I have been thinking about this more and more. Especially since a close friend came out as Trans about 3 or 4 years ago and I found myself jealous of them that they got to be identified as a guy and I didn't. Slowly, very slowly, I am coming to terms and accepting the fact that, nah, I'm legit a gay guy. I haven't come out though because I am TERRIFIED of how my mom will react (for ref, I can't afford to live on my own right now, so I am living with my parents again until I eventually get enough money saved up to get and keep my own place again....).

@feliciamarie6395 2 года назад

this was so helpful, thank you

@lindehermans5689 Год назад

thank you so much for this video :') it made me feel a lot safer to experiment with my gender and not be hyperfocused on a label

@noa6700 2 года назад

8:28 This. I spent over 2 years thinking about my gender identity, but didn’t get any result. When I told my best friend, I still wasn’t sure at all, but somehow, figuring it out was a lot easier afterwards

@FunkyTiger_2002 Год назад

Holy Smokes! Thank you so much! Your gender experience was strikingly similar to mine right down to the weight thing. I myself am motivating myself to loose weight and feel more confident in myself because there's so many factors to consider and my goodness it is a headache going I'M NONBINARY for one minute and then OR....AM I TRANS! I'm taking baby steps and slowly easing in being comfortable with how I present myself. My biggest fear aside from the changes of my body, I'm afraid how people are gonna treat me. I'm worried that people will treat me bad or judge me because I like to say "Hi" to people and I like plushies and drawing. I wasn't exactly treated to nicely as a girl because I wasn't pretty or girly enough, I was so confused for the longest time. I didn't know what I wanted then but I do now, I want to be valid and treated with respect. I just want to be myself without fear of getting hurt again.

@InterstellarDreams Год назад

This is not reality. It's an ideology. There's no actual evidence that you can be born with a gendered soul, or mind, in a somehow inherently "wrong" body. Your body is you! You are your body! And your brain is very much a part of your body, too! People can develop body dysmorphia, dysphoria, and self-acceptance issues, for all kinds of different reasons. It still doesn't mean they're inherently "trans". "Trans" is a culturally created ideological concept, that our society pushes on people that are uncomfortable with their sexed bodies. "Gender" isn't real. Your sex is, and it can never actually be changed, no matter how much wrong sex hormones that you take, or how many healthy body parts you chop off, to more closely RESEMBLE the other sex. Still ain't real. You're just running from yourself, and trying to cope with your own pain in a dysfunctional way, that's somehow still approved by a delusional society. Taking wrong sex hormones and having surgery, because you can't accept yourself..? Is ultimately just as dysfunctional as starving yourself, or cutting yourself, for the same reason! Literally the only difference is, "trans" is glorified by society, while the other sh*t isn't. Because, "progressive", (actually regressive), ideology, and double standards. Plus these "treatments" come with TONS of negative side effects, worse physical health, decreased life expectancy, etc! Especially for women taking testosterone, like you consider doing. Leads to a MASSIVELY increased risk of potentially fatal cardiovascular illness, diabetes, strokes, heart attacks, vaginal atrophy, cancers, etc. I know how your community sees women like me. I know we are NOT exactly popular! Go freaking figure. But I'm really NOT writing this to hate on you! I'm writing this in an attempt to make you reconsider this sh*t, before you irreversibly mess yourself up, because I care. And I really hope you'll at least research / consider the gender critical perspective more, before you head down this path. There are SO many good GC channels out there! But if I can recommend you just a few..? Go subscribe to Isle of Ex, Isaac Uncooked, Cat Cattinson, and Shape Shifter. That should do it. Those are AMAZING!! And you'll find plenty more channels from there, if you're interested. Also, these people are also detransitioners. That now struggle with the irreversible fallout of something they once WHOLEHEARTEDLY believed was the right thing for them, but now deeply, profoundly regret. (Possibly with the exception of Exulansic, who never did the hormones, or went as far as the others, thank heavens.) As they no longer believe in the "gender soul" religion, and have come to accept their sex for what it is. And.. Shape Shifter and Exulansic are also gay. Which, internalized homophobhia is often such a HUGE factor in this, too! (Although not the only one.) As is internalized misogyny. Do recommend radical feminism, intead of this sh*te. Sincerely: totally awful TERF, probably just being awful for no reason. (Except.. not really.)

@liammartin42 3 года назад

Thanks so much for the video, I've been questioning my gender for more than 2 years now, and when you said "If you've been questioning you're gender for a long time, your probably not cis"... I was just like, wow, I just have to face it now 😶 Hope my family and friends will take it well 😅

@Ona1979 2 года назад

I remember my mother having my older sister restrain me while she forced a dress over my head, while I was kicking screaming and crying so that I would "look pretty" for my birthday. I was 4 years old. I didn't mind wearing clothing, but I did not want to wear a dress. I didn't consider that I could be transgender until I moved away from the environment that I grew up in at 43. I grew up hearing a lot of cruel jokes and comments at the expense of members of the LGBTQ + community. Including gay people and transgender people. My brother would say that gay men and drag queens had AIDS and that they were degenerate freaks. My nephew told me that gay men should be shot onsite. I was horrified when I realized that I could be transgender. Figuring out my gender identity was a journey. I think that if I had rushed it, I wouldn't have figured out what my gender identity is or become confident that testosterone and top surgery are what will make me happiest.

@xz740 2 года назад

So it all comes down to not liking dresses.

@dontmindme6597 3 года назад

I used to think I was trans but right now I’m confused about my gender and I keep jumping between Trans or Nonbinary

@sannevanbeers Год назад

That last comment I really needed to hear thankyou.

@kellyrose1001 Год назад

Thanks Luka, that's really helpful also to me as a cis person trying to understand trans and non-binary people.

@bluebell560 2 года назад

"If you've been questioning your gender identity for a long time, you're probably not cis." me: *sweats*

@ConstanzaRigazio 3 года назад

I don't think what you say in the end is completely accurate. I'm a cis woman and I have questioned my gender a lot, but mostly because OTHER PEOPLE questioned it. What I mean is that because I'm not traditionally girly, other people felt entitled to assume I wasn't a woman, but I feel comfortable being a woman and can't imagine myself being a man or a non-binary person... I still get really happy when people acknowledge that I'm a woman because I've been denied my identity many times before...

@trystensilver6434 3 года назад

That’s YOU though. That’s not anyone else. No one questioned me. I didn’t even have a language to use to define myself with and I still knew I wasn’t my biological gender. No one questioned me because no one talked about gender at all. I was born 1979. It wasn’t part of the cultural conversation. I still knew I wasn’t my birth gender. I’m perfectly happy being nonbinary and couldn’t imagine being or wanting to be cis-gender. You’re only one person and you only get to define you. No one else should be defining you nor should you define anyone else.

@theo8037 3 года назад

i just got this video recommended from the algorithm and i think i'm currently in one of those earlier parts so it is really cool to find it now because it was really nice to watch now i think that was said in a weird way, but yeah, good video, wonderfull

@meYogii_ Год назад

I've never felt comfortable in my own skin. September 2021 was the first time I ever heard of being non-binary. I didn't even knew that "label" existed, I thought you was either male or female, I felt that I didn't fit into those pronouns. Now in the end of December 2022 I'm still questioning my gender, I feel more like a male, but I'm not. I'm defenitely NOT a woman. My hope is to start treatment in the end of summer 2023, that's the plan. I'll take it from there. I'm 35 by the way...

@njda5815 3 года назад

I literally love you 💖 You're videos are helping me so much ❤️❤️❤️

@LukaHauptmann 3 года назад

thank you!! that means a lot :)

@darciemallaburn5252 Год назад

I have been saying I’m nonbinary/genderfluid for the past year or so, but it still doesn’t feel right. I have just been left feeling so confused and panicked because I just can’t figure it out and am not sure I really fit anywhere :( it’s hard to explain but I don’t think I’m nonbinary

@BuzzyBuggyBee 2 года назад

This is alot of how i feel...thank you -questioning transmasc

@bluepal7965 3 года назад

i’ve identified as nonbinary for about 5 years. the labels under the umbrella have changed a few times over the years such as genderfluid or agender, but it’s pretty much stayed the same feeling. growing my hair out and being constantly misgendered made me realize how far i see myself from feminine, and shaving my head made me realize how masc i actually prefer to view myself. so now i’m having my 50th gender crisis. thank you for making this video, it did help to hear your experience.

@xz740 2 года назад

Have you ever stopped to consider that the labels to which you refer are all made up by the gay and lesbian community? You’re too intelligent to be sucked into these fabricated ideas. You are being groomed.

@Alexxxxxxx.F 3 года назад

I was the 500th viewer, that's satisfying

@LukaHauptmann 3 года назад

nice!! :)

@overlordducky 3 года назад

Thank you for this video. I'm going to show this to my therapist and work through my identity. I've been identifying as genderfluid for a while, but lately I've been thinking that she/her pronouns aren't who I am anymore and I've been toying with the name Patrick for myself. I'm still uncertain, but this video has made me feel more okay with being uncertain. So, thank you once again, it means a lot. 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

@tragically.rachel 2 года назад

I resonate with this so much omfg thank you for sharing 💞💞 gives me hope

@thats_munchkin431 2 года назад

a few months back ( probaly over a year) i was struggling with deression and self harm, so i was forced to go to therapy and get better but i had started thinking about my gender more and more and well i was trying to figure it out i was going by they/them( only with my friends tho) i shared almost ever thing with her as time went on my parents kept complaining about the money and rushed me to figure out what was wrong and at the time my therapist started thinking it was because i had not told my parents about my gender thing and forced me to come out, i was not ready so they made me tell the whole famliy that in non-binary and that i want my name to be ash. and now i think im trans ftm and i dont really like that name, im stuck :(

@thats_munchkin431 2 года назад

and now i dont think i can trust the same, i dont think i trust anyone

@peterevans6480 3 года назад

I guess Im still questioning? Even though I identify as a trans boy right now it hasnt really been that long so Im just gathering info and stuff in case I'm wrong or somtehing. I've identified as bigender, genderqueer and genderfluid to demiboy on my gender questioning journey and now I identify as a trans guy, which feels really comfortable for me even though I have dysphoria about a bunch of stuff since I'm not out to anyone but my very accepting best friend right now. I just have a fear of being wrong about stuff, it feels so humiliating, and I KNOW for a fact that my parents aren't gonna believe me if I come out to them as trans rn, not because they're transphobic (though they could really use some better education on the subject) but they have this idea that trans people will know since they were born that they're trans. I've also liked a bunch of feminine things since I was little so that doesn't help. To be totally honest with you guys I doubt myself almost every day and it is really painful, I love being a guy in my eyes but so many things about me make me question if I really am trans. What I know is that I want to be trans, I want to be a boy. But is that enough? I don't know.

@ftgihf467 2 года назад

i relate so much

@stabbyboi1753 2 года назад

thank you for making this video 🥺 When I was little my mum didn’t really raise me as a girl, I was born as one, referred to as one but my mum wasn’t very girly herself so I was free to follow her footsteps. I kind of lived outside the binary then. Which is perhaps why I didn’t notice anything was off until much later. I think puberty is when it all kind of started to go downhill (or uphill, we’ll see). I turned into a ‘woman’. And that didn’t sit right with me. Took me quite a while to admit tho. Right now I identify as nonbinary but I’d love to be perceived as masculine. Changed my name with a few people to try it out, definitely want top surgery. Let’s see where this adventure goes.

@maceinfp 10 месяцев назад

Your experience sounds a lot like mine at the moment. I don’t like being perceived as a girl but I’m scared of transitioning, changing pronouns feels odd etc. This is the most similar story to me that I’ve heard. I identified as non binary from 3 years ago, and then identified as trans for a bit but didn’t come out, denied it and tried to be a girl for a while but it keeps resurfacing. I’m currently thinking I’m genderfluid but I think it might be because I don’t want to burden people by making them use he/him pronouns for me. I’m scared of losing people, I’m scared of what they’ll think.

@havenwalters9820 3 года назад

This video is so relatable. Ty for this!

@nox-1191 6 месяцев назад

Fantastic video. I realize I am finding this 2 years later, but it really speaks to me. This sounds a lot like what I have been experiencing lately. Since I can remember, I have never felt like a female, but because I also was never given the option I just never thought that it was possible, and just have went along with being female. I’m now 37, and this is kind of hitting me over the head. I guess the main thing I struggle with is that it’s just not accepted enough, and that to most people I wouldn’t be male “enough”. That having certain body parts from birth is what is expected and what I always wanted anyway also. That getting such things surgically is not the same and I don’t think I would be willing to go through with bottom surgery anyway because I just don’t think that we’re even nearly there yet where we could be. I think it’s off to a good start though. But I am especially interested to see how far we can get with that, especially if 3-D printing comes into play in regards to skin grafting. Or maybe something else that no one has thought of. But yeah, I’m at that point right now I’m just taking the middle ground and choosing to be non-binary. I may stay this way, or I may not. I think the biggest stressor is pressure from society because I’m not a cis male. The second major worry is that life is hard enough for me as it is (I am neurodivergent) and my dating pool is already pretty small. I’ve never married, and I feel like I will never find my person now. Most of the people that I would be interested in in dating, definitely would not be interested in dating me - for being neurodivergent, and especially for being trans. I also know that my family would totally disown me. So there’s definitely a lot of reason to be afraid of the whole thing. It’s really awful to constantly feel like one is not valid.

@lmusic2621 Год назад

Thanks for the video ❤🙌..im 20 now and I'm having exact thoughts of you.. I just don't know who am i... But I feel more comfortable and good as a dude..hope someday I make clear decision as you ❤🙌

@MidWestGem999 3 года назад

I've been questioning my gender since I was 11, back in like January this year I identified as nonbinary, up till recently, I think I might be transmasc but I look very fem and i dont like that..

@froggybangbang Год назад

Thanks for this. I'm 39 and contemplating legally changing my name and marker but I'm still doubting. The fact that every single point you mentioned are stuff I'm thinking about (at 5:09, the pressure of set label, pronouns are ish, name change is 100% for years, top surgery as well, and who wants to have to have more aggresivity and butt hair but also deeper voice🤔...)

@melissaharrison-jones9818 3 года назад

Your amazing either way! ❤

@LukaHauptmann 3 года назад

THANK YOU 💙

@movieyouser 3 года назад

Ok first TikTok now RU-vid. You're alway poppin up on my recomendet page lmao

@crimes2004 2 года назад

i identify as a gnc trans guy because it seems like it describes me more than just trans man or nonbinary does. i still like both of those labels enough ofc, i just feel like saying that im a boy who doesnt conform to what a boy 'should' look like. like a boy but slightly to the left yknow

@minuit.69409. 3 года назад

transgender mean don’t be in the gender that peoples give you at birth, so non binary peoples are transgender, i think we should use more « FTX » or « MTX » , some peoples are more « MTFTX » (male to femal to non binary) if i say something wrong tell me 🌈✨✌️

@FireTurkey 2 года назад

I'm an enby and consider myself trans but some don't. Non-binary is very vague (which is why I love it) even more so than your standard umbrella term. It's entirely personable to each person.

@Yelisse. 3 года назад

Love youuuu but my question is that my parents dont like a binder they say no bc it hurt your body but now I need to wear more sport bra's and that hurt myself so much can you help?

@LukaHauptmann 3 года назад

Try explaining to them that a binder doesn’t hurt your body if you bind safely. If it’s a good quality binder and it’s the correct size and you take regular breaks then it should be perfectly fine :)

@erinwilliams1006 2 года назад

This was incredibly helpful thank you. I really appreciate it :)

@LukaHauptmann 2 года назад

glad I could help :)

@SageXavender 4 месяца назад

I feel so male... But I also am really girly and love being feminine. I've always been feminine. I went from being cis fem, to demigirl, to nonbinary, to demigirl, to pangender. I still feel female but like... More male. I've heard of terms like femboy (feminine boy, NOT talking about the other definition.) I'm considering trans masc, trans demiboy, and gender fluid. Another thing that is making me insecure and invalidated is my trans masc friend constantly saying "You're not just a guy, you're also female." And other things like "I'm more gay / trans than you." Makes me really insecure.

@tals.8960 3 года назад

Thanks for sharing all of this Luka. I love your Tiktoks; you seem like a really nice guy. Glad to see you here too. 😅 God, there was so much here that I related to. I don't even know where to start. Well, suffice it to say, I came out as nonbinary about a year ago, and continue to question if I might be a (binary) trans woman. But I like what you said towards the end, about how once you've given gender so much thought, it's easy to sort of see it as just a whole mess and not really be able to identify so strongly with one side or the other anymore. I guess that's where I'm at: I don't feel particularly strongly about any particular label, e.g. agender, genderfluid. I'm just vibing. Just being. Just feeling a relief and freedom of not having to think of myself as a "man" anymore, or subject to those expectations or standards or limitations. What you said about identifying as nonbinary just to yourself, or just for yourself, resonates with me a lot too. I came out to a certain portion of my friends, but to a certain extent it's really still just for me - for my own sense of freedom and so forth. Anyway, thanks again. Always cool to hear about how others are thinking about gender, and where it might align with my own thoughts/feelings.

@bunnyteeth365 2 года назад

I've been sort of thinking about my gender for several years on and off. I'm either a demigirl or just cis and uncomfortable with some things. I don't feel like coming out. It draws too much attention to my gender. I think I draw less attention to my gender if I just come across as an average cis girl who isn't too feminine or too masculine.

@belagrolaub8746 2 года назад

your video was really helpful to me

@KenZPaige 3 года назад

Thanks! I really needed this🖤🖤🖤

@KenZPaige 3 года назад

Being over 30 and questioning my gender has been scary and confusing. This video really helped. So thank you 🖤🖤🖤

@whalien_official 2 года назад

When u told ur story it made me realize how much this reminds me of me... (If that makes sense) I wanna come out.. But I'm kind of scared since I haven't figured out whether I'm trans or non binary... I'm pretty sure I'm trans but at the same time I'm not and so I'mma come out as a person who wanna be male but also wants to experience new things and just yeah... Thank u ur story helped me a lot

@LukaHauptmann 2 года назад

just do what makes you comfortable

@samblam 2 года назад

I'm in such a weird position since I came out as non binary but I feel like my family isn't taking it seriously? More and more I'm feeling like I'm a trans man (wanting my chest flat, looking masc, wanting to be seen as a guy) but I'm scared to be 'wrong' of that makes sense? Or if people will question on whether or not I'm lying..

@sichengbestboy9667 2 года назад

I want to transition, but I'm afraid of the reaction people might have. in the city people are kind of free, but the part of my country where I live it's bad. I've familiarised with the idea of wearing a hat and a dress when visiting both my grandmothers, but yeah, the rest of my family, friends, classmates.. they'll all eventually know. I'm a person who enjoys spending time alone, out of the spotlight, so the idea of going though the things people I know have been though because of transitioning, the discrimination, rejection.. uh-huh, I can't with that. and they say this is the best time to be part of the lgbtq+ community... - sorry for my english 🙇🏻

@Luka_tylo 2 года назад

Very good and empathetic vidéo! I appreciate 😊

@AfraidOfTheDark04 2 года назад

I've been questioning my gender for a while now and the only two things ive figured out are 1.) Cis people don't stay up at night questioning their gender 2.) I'm either a feminine boy or nonbinary

@claudedealgerobelia4395 2 года назад

i dont really know :'D i identify myself as a complete non-binary asexual. I think it started at somewhere near puberty when i asked myself who i am. I had this severe gender dysphoria that i just cant seem to escape from. Then maybe after some thinking i go with my life not really trying to be insecure. I go on with my life not really thinking much about gender or how i identify myself, i walk thinking of how to have fun and enjoy life not trying to waste time thinking much about gender. Not until a family member asked me if was tomboy because they dont really think of my actions nor the way i act is based on what my gender is. There are times im feminine time where im masculine and times where i my are gender actions are confusing. So i ended up asking asking until i stumble over the thought of researching. this helps though not gonna lie. im thinking of transforming me too but not to the extent of surgery or what ever that is. I just want to find what im compatible with. I want to keep some of my woman side while change some to a man side. Im actually quite masculine and tall irl so i was often mistaken as a man. but i hope things would be alright along this journey :'D ( anyways i use they/them pronounce since its much comfortable im glad some people accepted it but in some scenarios im ok with all pronounces )

@nteabioaticks__ 3 года назад

Thanks for this video, dude!

@aWERFRGT6545BGFG 2 года назад

i just dont know what gender even means all ik is people treat u differently based on it and thats so annoying

@aWERFRGT6545BGFG 2 года назад

like srsly what does it mean to be a girl what does it mean to be a boy all i see are stereotypes everywhere what is gender srsly

@milesxh 2 года назад

So I'm transmasc i wanna be perceived as a guy but i'm not sure if i'm confident being called a man? So i think i'm transmasc nonbinary but maybe i'm just trans?

@pinkisthemotherofallcouler1224 3 года назад

I feel very uncomfortable with my female body and when somebody call me by my female name or Something wie lady .But i like some more female thinks like: dolls ,skirts (not all) or fashion

@asalkarimi 10 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing your experience. I also am experiencing something similar and it's really helpful to know I'm not alone. Do you mind if I ask if you are autistic or ADHD? Because I think there's a pattern for "late bloomers" like myself. I'm still so doubtful and would appreciate any advice :). TY

@arar1597 5 месяцев назад

Idk if I’m genderfluid or trans. I don’t know if my “fem days” are jsut me gaslighting myself. (Which I have a tendency to do)

@RageDeRuin 3 года назад

Yes yes I never entertained the idea either because when I was a teenager I knew there weren't really good options to medically transition to be a guy.

@dankelly7712 5 месяцев назад

I’ve tried to have an open mind about non binary for a long time, but the more I listen to people and investigate it, the more I’m convinced people are just confused about sex versus gender, confusing sex stereotypes and gender roles and not understanding that you don’t have to conform to these things. 1. Two sexes 2. No genders 3. Infinite personalities (True intersexed people notwithstanding)

@Secretlycat31 8 месяцев назад

Just one question about what you said at the end about cis people not questioning their gender. As I feel like this depends on the environment, for example my sister is cis and pretty much all her friends are too. But a lot of my friends are queer or not-cis so being in an environment where it is more the normal to not be the cis straight individual would also make someone question things no? My sister brought up that point and it does make me think. To do with the idea of would this person have this idea of gender identity difference if they weren't in an environment where it was common knowledge. And thats hard to know.

@regyncool4182 Год назад

I know I'm really young but I keep rushing it tbh. I am gonna try to slow down because all summer all I have narrowed down is 'not-cis' 😅

@Spacebug111 2 года назад

All I know is that I’m not a boy

@marcielynn4886 Год назад

Nowadays you can be both not transition and still want under that umbrella.

@SHADW33 Год назад

super helpful this is exactly what i need to hear as what im going through right now, i must ask about the therapist, is there specific therapists that major with gender and helping people with their identity?

@brynl-k4118 3 года назад

This is so helpful, thank you.

@lilymaguire5894 3 года назад

whenever I hear stories from trans people they say they've always known they were trans and for me, i always dressed and appeared like a traditional 'boy' but i just recently thought that i might be trans (ftm) i'm thirteen and i don't identify as a girl but i just don't know if i'm nb or a guy