Hi Dennis, I understand your position, or way of dealing with this, as it is exactly what I used to do. This worked out badly for me, as I obviously cannot deal with all life's difficulties - no one can, we all have limitations. So I practiced to take on a different approach, which was to not see it as complaining (because that implies helplessness, which we are not), but I see it as reality reflections - a shared reflection of what is happening in my life right now, to someone I know, trust, and care about (or a professional). This I found is a much more honest way of having a relationship, especially if you see that becoming a little vulnerable with others facilitates connection, and feeling connection is the opposite of feeling isolated. I hope this helps you to consider how one might change an approach to facing our difficulties, and see that humans supporting and helping each other is what brings change, solutions, friendships and relationships.
@@dennisweikel2566 To become completely at ease with our disability and bodies again is a really good route to go, it is liberating and make life less complicated and less stressful. Your idea of meeting other amputees is a great one, this will help feel a part of a community with similar experiences and support for our struggles. There are 3 possible ways - 1) If you live in the United States you can consider attending the Amputee Coalition events 2) contact Ossur in your area and ask to attend one of their mobility clinics, these are awesome and you learn a lot form other amputees and the support community 3) Look for amputee support groups in your area. If you let me know where you live Ill see if I can help you out by checking with subscribers to the channel and my friends at Ossur. Please let me know if I can help in any way, Id be happy to do this.
Thank you Chris for talking about this subect. Like you, most of the time I'm a happy and positive person and try to accept what has happened to me is for the best! I had an above knee amputation one year ago this week due to Cancer. I appreciate so much that the doctors have prolonged my life and I should be grateful and thankful for that, which of course I am. But, I still look at pictures of myself with two legs, happy and smiling and although I show that image still to the outside world, I feel a deep sadness and empty feeling inside that I'm just not that same person anymore. My phantom pain drags me down most days, something I never expected. So thank you, I could see your sadness in this video and could relate to your feelings too. I've been watching all your video's, you inspire and encourage me so much. Take care my friend.x
What an amazing response, thanks for your thoughts Wynn! I will be doing a video on phantom pain some time soon. Let me know if there is any other topic I could cover on the channel - tnx a ton and all the best!
Hey Wynn, just been wondering how it’s going with the phantom pain? I had some myself recently and was reminded of your comments. Hope you’re doing great.
Thanks Chris, I have to say the phantom pain has been a huge problem. Started as soon as I lost my leg one year ago and has been the worse thing about the amputation. After the first six months the pain wasn't as intense but it has never left me. I'd love to know how others cope with it and any help would be hugely appreciated. Thanks. x
I have a friend who is a recent amputee. She is depressed about her new prosthetic leg. I came to RU-vid for a better understanding of what it's like to be an amputee. I really appreciate you sharing your experience. I do deal with depression as well. I took a good lesson from you today on the fact that although we can have MANY blessings, it is ok to be down sometimes. It is just part of life. Not all of us can be UP and happy 24/7. It helps just to realize that, take a deep breath, and just let it run it's course. It is counterproductive to be in a state of non-acceptance. Thank you sir! One day at a time, right?
Hi Terry, thanks so much for your thoughts and kind words. Yes absolutely - one day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time. Life is beautiful, but also difficult, and I am not exempt from these challenges. Ultimately we choose our attitude to these difficult circumstances, when we can no longer control the circumstances - that is our power. I try to move away from labelling depression as good or bad - it just "is" - and an attitude of curiosity helps a lot. What is my depressed mood telling me, what is the message? What must I change, stop doing, or start doing? And then, as you say, sometimes it's just not a good day, and I need to learn to be OK with not being OK. Thanks for reaching out, I really appreciate your thoughts.
Well said Chris. We are in a fairly small club and you have articulated how, I believe, many of us feel at times. Looking forward to seeing more of your videos. I just had my right leg amputated last October. Now walking on a prosthetic, doing OK with it. Not nearly as well as you and that’s encouraging to see how much you have mastered that. Happen to have a friend and a doctor who are both originally from South Africa. Would love to see your country some day. Like you, I’m very blessed, however, I think we all get frustrated and down sometimes. If you ever need someone to vent to, please know that I’m happy to hear from you. Sincerely, Patrick McGarrity Memphis, TN USA
Hi Patrick, thanks so much for your kind words - they certainly are appreciated and it really motivates me to create more content. I'm sorry to hear you lost your leg, but good to hear you're getting along with the prosthetic leg. I did not always walk comfortably - for years I struggled, which is why I decided to share my amp life so that others can avoid the initial mistakes and struggles. I appreciate you offering some kindness and support - who knows how we might connect in the future? I traveled the States extensively when I was younger - been to 28 of the states so far. I love your country and the people, more that anything I love your nature. I recently (2019) traveled to Utah to Moab and had a great time in that magnificent part of your country. When I visited your part of the world - Memphis TN way back in '94 I had an awesome time. I loved Beale street as I'm a big blues fan. The BB King bar was awesome, was hoping to see the King himself :-) but that never happened. Im hoping to attend the Amputee Coalition event again next year - perhaps we will hook up there? All the best with your journey, please keep in touch!
Oh boy. I live on a Caribbean island. Never cold but hurricane prone. 20 years ago hit by a drunk driver set my right leg ankle wrong and I used up to 3 years ago to have a special shoe with a brace. Then, 7 years ago I got a titanium knee on the left leg. Works wonders, never a thought. The surgeon was going to operate my right ankle to set me straight. But first my worn out right knee needed a replacement. 3 years ago it happened and the wound got infected and the leg above the knee was amputated. I got a good artificial leg, but I have trouble putting it on. Often I go on 2 long crutches on my one leg to the car. Only when I have to get out of the car I rig my leg. You are still young, I am soon 75. I just was wondering how many times I wake up happy and effortlessly enjoy everything with gratitude and how many times I wake up crying and won't get out of my bunk. 50/50 I wish to be dead and am for euthanasia. I use downers and opiates but in tiny doses, in the morning only once, and the day will pass. I think it is easier for a young amputee to get on with it than it is for a senior like me. My whole life was a wonderful adventure with style and innocent pleasure. I did what millions of men dream of. Set foot in over 50 countries, had an art gallery, was 15 years skipper on sailing yachts, arrived on this island where I am and became goldsmith. Born in Holland lived in Amsterdam, Sweden, Greece and on the sea I lost my love for life with my leg. Yes I listen to all the masters on depression, but being on the bottom of the pit is terrible. I often take a sleeping pill and feel better after. Soon I go see a psychiatrist. This too will pass.
Hi Alexander, im really grateful that you took the time to write this message. Your life seems to have been truly filled with good experiences and travels. I can relate to much of what you're saying, also the 50/50 feeling at times. These are way less now and mostly I am loving and enjoying life. I was at the bottom of that pit for almost 2 years, with very little hope of getting out - I could not see it happening. But it did, and Its still getting better. I have off days and my next video this week will be about that. I hope that the psychiatrist could help and that the struggle is passing. Please keep in touch Alexander and all the best.
Hi Chris, Thank you so very much for making this video and choosing such a vital and true topic. You have helped make history in the path of my journey toward wholeness and in my getting finally getting help as an amputee. Your video was THE 1st video I have watched regarding amputation from an amputee’s perspective. I’m totally new to getting help. So Thank You- to say the least. I think your #Name is quite genius.! It really is captures a sense of humanity still existin in amputees that gets overlooked or scued by Stigma. It also speaks to the Power of the Human Spirit. I resonated with your discussion in the video in many ways. I have suffered from episodes of depression since becoming an Amputee that have felt like my heart and future have come brutally and traumatically crashing down on me, like the incident itself. Dealing with C-PTSD (this attack sending me over the PTSD edge)seems to make the episodes of amputee-related depression even more difficult. I started EMDR & Trauma-focused Therapy a short time ago & I must say they are really helping. Even the textbook symptoms of PTSD that were flooding my brain were better almost immediately. Yet, I feel I have such a long road to healing ahead of me. I pray that I will be able to have the support I need. Besides my therapist, I have no one and this fears me & feels terrible.. Your words were also reassuring and I felt validated that I was doing something right by getting help. You showed of a place where we have down times and it’s ok to. Striving to continue to manage them in positive & constructive ways is a challenge but Thank God! I’m there. I truly believe that “The Only Way Out is Through, and for me, learning about and learning to sit-with my depression (and any other illness) and still do, rather than let the sadness paralyze me is my challenge. I’m still mourning and I haven’t taken that new new fresh breathe yet… Please, If you know of a way I can find support groups, please lmk. Thanks again bc even writing about this is processing and finally connecting about this with a person and people that understand. I am so grateful for this! Emily
Hi Emily, thank you for your message and kind words. Feedback like this is motivating and inspires me to make more content for amputees out there. I want to assure you that life as an amputee can be truly wonderful. We have difficult days too, but there is so much good we can still experience. As I mentioned, asking for help is an important part of the process, the shared experience is a lighter experience, and connection with someone else can only be a good thing. I wish you all the best, you should like such a kind person, I hope you receive much kindness in return Emily. PS Please join us when we do live streaming, it is quite interactive if you want it to be, or else just to be a part of a real time conversation and following the questions and answers we give. Hope to see you at the next one 🙂
Hi Joyce, you're so welcome, and thanks for watching and commenting. It's possible to be a content amputee, and miss what we used to have, all at once. I think it's important to acknowledge that truth. All the best to you.
Hello Chris. It is a treasure trove I am discovering going through your older posts. We have lost a part of our bodies. Plain. Simple. It hurts deep down. My worst day was about one year after my amputation, when I awoke at night and had to use the bathroom. I forgot. Just swung out of the bed as normal and landed with a thud. Hit my healthy leg on the metal frame under my mattress and it was bleeding very badly. Took off my t-shirt to still the blood and my husband found me sitting at the side of my bed, hugging my stump with a bloody right leg. He almost lost it and was awake immediately. Helped me back into bed and the next morning, I did not want to get up. Just did not want to make the effort to get up and get going. Then I felt ashamed of myself and powered thru the day, but today I believe if I hadn't done that, I would be in a very dark place right now. I forgot. I am sure I will forget again, but that was the first time and it hurt. Not just the busted leg, but deep inside it hurt that I had proof I would never again be able to just jump out of bed and do anything. Hugs.
Hi Janice, I somehow missed this message when you sent it, just want to say sorry about that, and thank you for the kind words. I hope you're doing well today, and things are improving all the time :-)
Hi Chris, i hear you struggle that you have difficulties to express your feeling. You feeling almost quilty about feeling depression and that you actually have a good life and still feel down. And if i watch your video’s i see a lot emotions who you try to hide. And that is not healthy and i would say to you please let them go. People who cant deal with it they have to watch another direction and the rest Will support you. I would be in the last option. Because i have to deal with grief and depression my whole life. And i had almost my whole life psychologically therapy to deal with the hard times and 4 panic disorders. Like you know i am not amputated and dont have people near me with amputation. But i always was a people person and i have a lot of empathy. So if you struggle please let me know i would support you. I love to help people.love sabrina
Thanks for the message Sabrina, my life is actually mostly reeeeally good. Just sometimes the frustrations can get to a person ... I'm sorry to hear about your depression, I hope you have love and support to help you x
Hi Joyce, sorry I missed your message back when you sent it, just wanted to say thank you :-) I hope you've found the help you needed at the time, and that you're doing OK.
Yep, it is true with amputee and depresion. I am for 14 years and I find hard when I can't move without paint. But I am bad to ask for help. I will try.
Hi Justin, thanks for your message. I'll be making a video again on depression soon, something I needed to deal with more recently after two months of painful infection. Hope to hear from you again, and please join us when we go live-streaming soon on You Tube!
Hi, good question! I'm very careful, and use compressed air to blow off the fine sand if it happens. These knees are so durable though, but some care is definitely a good idea.
Hi Chris, I can see this post is several years old, I have a question my son in law has had a work accident he's pulled his back so hard the nerve to his leg has been compromised, the hospital has told him he will never be able to feel his left leg below the knee he's walking on crutches he can't feel the ground so it's useless to him I'm thinking he may be better off getting it and amputated and start to learn to walk again I would like to know thoughts
Hi Colin, thank you for the message and question, and apologies for the late answer. Ive been away for a few weeks, just checking messages this morning. I'm sorry to hear about your son in law's accident, and hope he figures out what is best for him. We are all different, but for me the most important question was how can I ensure an improvement in my quality of life. Mobility is a big deal for me, so having g a stiff and painful knee was a big burden. The decisive issues for me were 1. improving mobility 2. having certainty about my abilities 3. No pain / infection. A below the knee amputation leaves you with a LOT of mobility, much more so than through or above the knee (which is what I have). However if the foot is fully functional, with no pain, I feel he should exhaust all possibilities first, the consider an amputation only id he still feels heavily impaired. Life on crutches is not kind, is he is dependent on them I know what I would have done. I see your message is over a month ago, how is he doing now? By the way, we are starting podcasts soon with specialists to talk about all these points. I'll communicate the details to the subscribers, I think there will be some very useful info shared.
I almost forgot I am a recent double amputee. Right leg and all the toes on my left foot. I at least have this resolve. This situation will not beat me. I will overcome and be better than I was.
selber OS-amputiert, 3 Kinder (geb. 00,04,08) 2 Ehen kaputt, ehemals, trotz meiner Behinderung immer versucht alles zu geben, geschäftsf. Gesellsch., gut Geld... Wirtschaft und Fa. kaputt, alles verloren... vor allem meine Kinder. Will nicht mehr...
Hi this is the translation of your message I got: OS amputee myself, 3 Kinder (geb. 00,04,08) OS amputee myself, 3 children (born 00,04,08) 2 broken marriages, formerly, despite my disability, always tried to give everything, business-like. Society, good money... economy and company broken, everything lost... especially my children. Do not want anymore... It sounds to me like you've had some really hard experiences and setbacks. This is something many amputees I've met, in life and in my work, can relate too. The ones who found their lives back all found support, and especially in the form of a good, experienced counsellor they really trusted. This is also the way that worked for me, after a very dark time in my life. Something we all figured out was what we wanted from life again, even something small, and slowly found our way to a content life again, with help, kindness, support, and hard work. The first step was to trust someone. I hope you find this person my friend, and that you can figure out a way to get what you need and want. It's so worth it.
