An Honest Talk About Clutter & Decluttering 

I live in an apartment and I find it beneficial to declutter at least twice a year because space is so limited. I wish more decluttering content would talk about people who live in apartments. If you have a house, you typically have more square footage for things.

Such a kind, nonjudgmental way to view decluttering. Great video.

Your message addressed key issues that I've been struggling with lately. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I need to change my perspective of my goal: the goal of decluttering should not be to obtain a minimalistic lifestyle; rather the goal of decluttering should be to surround my home with love, joy, peace.

You are among the very few people on RU-vid I've come across who view/define clutter in this wise & thoughtful way. One of the reasons I first hit subscribe all those months ago. Thank you!

Thank you for reminding us that organizing and decluttering are not the same. I like functional organization but enjoy occassionally going through old stuff some people would consider clutter .

I never clicked on a video so fast as I did this one! 😂 Thank you for making this video!!! As someone who is older & sentimental, I have lost a lot of family and inherited a lot of stuff over the years, and I have been trimming down my possessions getting ready for a move. I recognized myself with your examples of keeping things out of guilt, negative feelings etc and was nodding my head when you said every item is something we have to manage. Thank you for talking about this! I have new inspiration thanks to you! ❤

Oh my goodness! Kay I'm so happy to see this tonight after having a full on meltdown in front of my physiotherapist today. A Kay video is just what I need. Thankyou so much.

Thanks for another great video, Kay. I really appreciate you talking about the negative and judgmental turn that decluttering has taken recently and your emphasis on the unique needs of each person. I have always regularly decluttered and am pretty good about getting rid of things that are no longer useful to me or I no longer get joy from. But, am guilty of keeping too many "useful" items that I like. About a year ago I ran across a video by the Minimal Mom and she was talking about items in term of inventory-management requirements in the home and that an increase in options (winter hats just as an example) = an increase in time managing that inventory. This is such a simple concept but it took her saying it for me to really internalize this. I may actually wear all 15 hats during the course of the winter and enjoy the option of choosing. But, the time I spend keeping them organized takes time away from other activities in my life. It has really helped me to start to pair down items and really thoughtfully decide on those areas where I am ok with high inventory management requirements and those that I would prefer to spend less time.

I have a funny story to share. I was at a thrift store the day after I saw your video where you showed your green egg poacher. You loved it so much, and when I saw the exact one at the thrift store, I felt the urge to buy it. After all, how lucky could I be! However, reality set in because I don’t even eat poached eggs, so I didn’t even look at the price….lol One less item to declutter. On a serious topic, you have a gorgeous voice. I am in awe of you every time I hear you sing. 🎶🎵

Every once in a while i feel crowded and start decluttering. No containers with out a lid ; no saving take out food drink cups ; that kind of thing.

I actually do need to declutter, but I am doing it chunks that feel manageable. Three boxes of books are going to donation (including a copy of the Davinci Code, gasp!) Coats I don't wear anymore but could keep someone else warm if given a chance. Plus a few other household items... honestly I need the space more than the stuff.

I needed this reminder...decluttering is not virtuous in itself. Thank you, Kay!

Yes, I’ve felt the decluttering pressure, especially when I am nowhere near a minimalist yet society (and RU-vid) kind of influenced me in down moments. Part of the problem for me is there really doesn’t seem to be any help for organizing things for those of us who like a lot of things and like looking at them. Most of the organization videos/blogs I’ve seen concentrate on keeping things looking bare,or scarce, which isn’t what I want at all. So I felt the pressure to get rid of things just because my rooms don’t look like that, even though I was happy with the amount of things, I just didn’t know how to organize it. Thank you for this video! It helped me to find some peace today.

I absolutely loved this episode. I think a lot of people get judged for having what others think of as a very cluttered space. You described the perfect way to decide if it is time to part ways with an item, or that it really is ok to keep what I have. Thank-you ❤

I tell myself that if I don’t Need it, Use it or Love it Lose it. NULL. Right now my stress point is the amount of people living in our small home. Love them dearly but it takes a lot of patience.

I feel that I have decluttered enough for the moment. I am a renter and I know that in early spring I will move again. Because I don't know what my new space will look like, I am loathe to let go of possible things yet. At the moment, I have a home for everything and my place is easily tidied. But I would never want to be a minimalist. I feel happier when I have art on the wall, photos of my family around on various surfaces, knick knacks around - some of which were gifted and that I enjoy just because they are pretty. We have to know our comfort zones. I could care less what anyone else thinks of my place. I am the one who lives, sleeps, eats, works, and dreams here. I've created my castle and I am happy in it.

VERY helpful video. As we've been decorating our tree this year, I've accepted that there are a number of ornaments that were passed down to me by my parents that our family *never* hang, and this will be the year I'll let go of some of those. Our local "Buy Nothing" group is having a post-holiday gathering, and I think that will be perfect for that purpose; I've also given some holiday decor to a local family in need who will have their first true home - it makes it easier to let go of sentimental items knowing how very much appreciated they'll be by another. But, to your main point, YES, I sometimes have felt outside pressure (from friends, RU-vid, etc.) to get rid of some things that really are meaningful to me, where I'm made to feel "weird" for keeping this or that. Then I learn that someone else has the same thing and I suddenly feel it's "okay" again. I LOVE how you frame decluttering; in the same way that people bring moral judgments to bear about what you eat or which exercises you do (or don't do), we've made this a gauge of someone's worth or value, so thank you for putting it in perspective.

Thank you, Kay. I feel better now. Decluttering is a slow process for me and that's okay. It takes me a while to understand if I'm keeping something because it's familiar or because I love it or need it.

Thank you so much for un-demonizing people who have a lot of items or who struggle with this.

I LOVE the new outlook on “Minimalism” because it’s a spectrum, one person’s minimalism is definitely not anothers… it’s more live and let live philosohy individualizing the situation.

Finally an organizer who understands. Clutterbug used to say " you don't need to get rid of everything you own, I'm not here to tell you that " But now she has jumped on the OWN NOTHING, minimalist band wagon too. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU. Thank you for being here to help us all get back to reality. I have subscribed and hope others can hear your message and get out from under the judgements being pushed my minimalists.

Thank you for this, it’s great. With me, it’s not so much clutter that I need to sort out but paperwork. I’ve got loads of it. For me, being in decluttering groups discourages me. I hate braggy lists on what other people have decluttered/organised. Also, having someone helping me with decluttering wouldn’t work for me, as I hate someone telling me what to do. I don’t like houses that are too minimal. I’m always scared to touch anything. I used to work for someone who is very House proud & also a bit of a minimalist & I used to feel so nervous in her house.

I love you . I would disagree on one thing , most ppl do need to declutter.I see appraisal pics of ppl’s home for 25 years due to my career. It’s rare that you see a home nice and neat . Most have homes that are overstuffed in every room .Often times they have a “Monica “ room that is like a storage room that they just through everything. Because of my journey to live a more clutter free life , I feel so much better and I can have guests over at anytime . I love how you are advocating for ppl to have what they need for their lifestyle. I don’t think either extreme is good . I have used up things , given them away not trashed everything.

I declutter in seasons, my work life gives me times when maintainance is a stretch. I do have a space in my hall closet for Goodwill donations that I add to as I go along. But my maintainable habits when very busy are balanced with seasons of more thoughtful time and I declutter as a first step in my next organizing project then. I deeply appreciate your thoughts on the extremes. My husband functions in extremes with his clutter and its your voice in my head about our uniqueness when I borrow some patience from you to utilize with his struggles. It is so true that one can only declutter for one's self.

No, I don't believe in Decluttering for the sake of Decluttering. It should be because those items no longer serve you. I didn't realize people were being shamed or guilted into Decluttering. But I do know of one You Tuber who feels that way next to a minimalist. I love your stance and where someone is in their journey. I am thankful for whoever pointed you to me. I appreciate you❣

I think there is more to declutter for me! Lots of things that go unused and I think that's a sign I haven't gone too far. Although when people visit my house I do think they get the impression that we are tidy, but there is nothing wrong with that! I've been decluttering for probably 3 years now and I think it's just an ongoing progression of my needs. Something that fills my needs today may not in a year.

I am definitely in need of a good declutter! Realizing I hold on to a lot of things from my past and childhood for sentimental reasons and I need to really let go of a lot! I always think well if I have it all organized then it's ok to have, but that's starting for feel like stinking thinking! I have a binder of colorful loose leaf paper from middle school! smh. Great video Kay!

Your glasses are so pretty!

Thank you to you and to your lovely voice. ❤

Thank you for putting into words something I've felt/thought for a long time! I always know it's time to declutter when I start feeling negative about my stuff, but I never knew I knew that until you said it in this video. It's never been about the number of things I have for me but about how I feel when I interact with those things. I think that's why I've never felt outside pressure to declutter or "be minimalist," because I'm always working toward only having what I want/need anyway.

made it to the end and just wanted to say you have a gorgeous voice. it’s always incredible when we get to hear you sing, never doubt that ❤

I declutter every year starting on the first of the year. I go through my clothes. This year I found I'm a type 3 in live your truth. I was fascinated. I'm weeding out items that don't work for me and adding a few items. If I have items that are repetitive, one or two goes. I love your attitude about clutter.

Our extreme clutter almost ruined my marriage. I had to force myself to hire a Professional Organizer to help us declutter our entire home. It was hard, but I did it (88% of the clutter was mine). It's been two years, and we are keeping the clutter down. We rarely have clutter catchers in our home.

I have decluttered quite a bit b/c but I do it rather often I think as a stress reliever. It's usually stuff that I've "been meaning to go through or deal with". At work we have a few areas and room that is dumping ground for stuff that people don't know where it goes or what to do with it. These things stress and/or overwhelm me. Sometimes I just have to walk away.

Minimalism on social media is a little bit like "clean eating" I think. Living with 10 or 100 or whatever many items seems to be the holy grail and for most people an unstainable goal like clean eating for 356 days a year (in the long term) . For me clutter (in my home) is, when I m not able to keep my space organized or not able to reset a room fast (I like not to have much stuff esp. on horizontal spaces so cleaning goes as fast as possible as I have health challenges). I totally like being at my moms or sisters house, but it would take forever to clean around their tchockes and stuff, and I don't have the energy to do that in my home. But I do think that their homes are more cozy than mine.

I watched too many minimalist videos. So I started decluttering. I held off on a lot of things but where it did help is in the kitchen. My family does not help me at all and so I pared down the amount of dishes that I have in the kitchen and it has helped. But I love this video and thank you for reminding me to keep what I absolutely love ❤

💚💙💜 Kay thank you so much 😘 This is so healing for me: I will nurture, love and embrace my one and only unique working style and creative process 🥰

I'm a cluttered maximalist crafter and my husband thinks I have ADHD which I tend to agree with. I like your approach to figuring out what's good to hang onto and what to donate. But I did feel pressure about keeping things just due to current minimalist ideas. That stressed me out until I realized it's a trend that's just popular now and I've never been a trendy person. I do like watching Clutterbug for some of her ideas, but my favorite that goes more into display with a more collector eye is My Take On Home and Garden. Jeff and Angela have such a beautiful home that looks warm and welcoming, but their collections are beautifully organized. I loved your inspirational quote. I started singing in public about 10 years ago and a few years ago dealt with vocal chord problems including polyps and a possibly paralyzed vocal chord. I still try to sing and compensate, but I have an awful uncontrollable vibrato now and rough time with breath support. Yes, I've doctored for it. But do take good care of your voice and know that no one sounds exactly like you and you have a wonderful gift. And thanks for all that you do.

This so helpful to define what clutter is and make the distinction that it is so individual to each person. To answer your question, no I have not felt the need to declutter when I don't have to. I actually do have to because I live in a small apartment which can quickly become overrun with stuff. Since many of us are high consumers, I do think decluttering should be happening routinely and ideally effortlessly. I have received such fantastic tips from you and other You Tube organizers, such as having a donate box/bag in your closet to immediately get rid of unwanted clothes. Thanks so much!

I've actually found I need less *house*. The kids are gone, and now I just have these large open spaces and empty rooms I feel compelled to fill, despite not using them! I think the clutter for me is too much empty space!

I have felt that pressure in the past when decluttering and minimalism were becoming big. As I’ve gotten older I have become more balanced. I really appreciate your mature view on things. I’m not less of a person just because I have stuff.

Thanks for this video. I love that you talked about how different each person is with there things. I have had things for years but now I see that I don't use them and I make the goal for me to share my art supplies and crafts to a local school so the kids and use it. It give me joy to see the projects in the main office with all that I give a way. When I look at things I ask if I have out grow them and if they are serving me in this stage of my life. This helps me to let go of what I don't use and keep what I do. Thank you for all that you share and do friend.

Clutter IS in the eye of the beholder BUT that doesn’t just mean the owner. Our items can have a real psychological impact on the people forced to live or work around them.

I love your eyeglasses. The frames are beautiful. I have not found a solution to “shiny glasses” online. Your information and kindness far exceed any other channel.

I’m in that horrible hole filled with “I might need that”. When I try to declutter I remember those things I got rid of, that I have since needed.

Revisiting this after 4 months ; i have a space that gets cluttered ; which is the desk beside my chair . I leave supplies there after i've finished the project . That's the spot i have to declutter most often.

Oh no, I have decluttered cuz I needed to(!) 🤭. But this video was super helpful... Especially cuz I was really starting to feel "guilty" about all my stuff as we move to our forever home. Thanks xxx

This was wonderful. I struggle with imposters’ syndrome also, plus I have clutter by anyone’s definition. You are awesome!

Love your videos Kay! I tend to have a ~special~ problem whenever i try to clean and declutter... im an artist with ADHD and that causes me to love doing a lot of different things. I get really into painting for a few months, and then wont paint again for like a year, and then the urge will come back full force! And that happens for every medium so like drawing/crochet/cross stitch/clay/etc. So i dont really want to get rid of my art supplies, but storing them does get tricky. I would love if you dabbled into organizing videos for neurodivergent folks and how to manage those types of spaces!

I have a LOT of yarn; at one time, several years ago I was really “into” crochet. Time passed, life happened and happens, I may not be interested or able to do crochet at this time, but I might return to it in the future. I wouldn’t dream of de-stashing my yarn. Life is cyclical just because you don’t do something today or use something today who’s to say that you won’t in the future? I do believe in decluttering but more for things that are broken, rusted or otherwise are unusable for their intended use. I have books like “Jane Eyre” and “The Portrait Of A Lady”, & at one time I loved those books but now I’m not sure if I want to keep them; tricky thing, clutter.

Thank you so much for sharing your Mantra. Moved.

You struck a chord (ha ha!!!) with your kind approach to how we should manage our lives and our stuff!! We are often influenced by what we see in magazines and aspire to near perfection, rather that living full lives and having the stuff around us and support happy and contented living! Thank you for making me think about cleaning and sorting my things thoughtfully and considerately!! Happy Christmas season to you Kaye! Love from Deb (in a pretty unseasonal, extremely wet and colder summer than usual in Melbourne, Australia!!😳)!😊

I declutter at least seasonal because im in an apt and don't have much room. Also if i am moving soon i try to declutter right before boxing my things up.

loved this. I'm always loved your take on clutter. This also made me think about something KC Davis with Struggle Care says a lot "mess is morally neutral" because you're right, having a bunch of stuff doesn't make you a bad person, just like having just a few essentials doesn't make you a good person.

You are doing so well, you have a lot going on. 🥰🥰🥰

Yes! This is exactly my feeling as well, thank you so much for this video. I recently came down from some kind of decluttering high where I really tried to push myself to get rid of things I actually wanted to keep. In the end I decided to allow myself to keep what I want, just organised it better. I am so relieved and my home is becoming my super organised heaven, I am having so much fun with this. And I am fast becoming a big fan of you and your videos.

You're amazing Kay! I adore you and love your videos! Yup, guilty of decluttering when I didn't need to. I am very minimal in most areas of my home but my skincare and beauty stuff (I'm an esthetician) is plentiful. My family gets on me that I have to much. I use it, enjoy it, and its organized and out of site but I still feel like I have to much. Guilt and shame-such terrible motivators and not my favorite emotions to feel. Thanks for all YOU do and the hard work that goes into making these videos. Also, sending you so much love and comfort this time of year!

Thank you for this video! You explained it so well. Def has inspired me to really look around my house!

Yes, I declutter for the sake of decluttering sometimes... I'm always searching for the "perfect" way to have something organized and decluttering just feels so good! LOL I don't think it is unhealthy but I am aware of keeping my eyes open on things to part with. This was a great video!

My friend and neighbour has twice as much stuff in her home which is the same size as mine. But she is amazingly tidy and organized, so her things aren't clutter as they all have their places and o live, and benefits to her. I'm not a naturally tidy person so I can only have an uncluttered home with half as much stuff!

What a great and positive video about decluttering 😍. New subscriber!

I like to thank you for helping me 💜Keep up the awesome work 💜

It’s so hard balancing frugality with clutter too. And being an artist. I have tons of still good craft supplies but since they are visually organized in an appealing way, it’s viewed at clutter:/ I can’t have a full wall of bookshelves in a spacious art studio like ppl with houses, I live in an apartment 😢

By the way. I love how you can raise plants. Mine always die 😢

This was so helpful. Thank you!

I do love the feeling of decluttering… however I also feel like we have too much stuff! I live in a home with 4 small kids and a husband who is a brilliant yet is a very messy man! Since I manage the home and feel like I’m drowning in stuff I will continue to declutter. I wish I could find a professional organizer in my area but I have been unsuccessful thus far.

I don't mind your shiny glasses. I miss your pretty lipstick!

Interesting!🙂

I have felt the pressure to de clutter. Strange when the pressure comes from a spouse who is not into that himself. I learned to go thru things that are specific to me and regularly purge. The only regret from those early clear out sessions is the loss of my dad's shirts. We still have a very full house since my in-laws passed away, but that is my husbands baby. I have never moved, cleared or attempted to de clutter his things. He prefers to shuffle and re stack anyway. I will always have my things that I love to look at right out there on any flat surface. I will also review is it loved, is it needed, do I use it as I go forward thru life.

Great video! Tyfs🏡💕🤗

Was hoping you were going to touch on learning how to declutter when you suffer from major depressive disorder...or maybe it would be the same advice. As a professional organizer, I'd imagine you come across this a lot. What are your thoughts, Kay? Thanks 🙏

De-clutter because of frequent moving house. The more moves the less sentimental I get plus priorities of things changes.

Thank you for these series, Kay! (And no, I didn’t declutter anything because I felt I had to. Hopefully I never will!)

The only times I’ve decluttered because I felt I needed to instead of wanting to is when I’ve had big moves … I didn’t really want to get rid of stuff, but I didn’t want to pay to move it either. The only decluttering regrets I have are from these purges too 😅

I don't have too much stuff I need a bigger space lol studio life

Such a good video

To answer your question I haven't decluttered when I don't need to.

Am I the only one who thinks it's alarming that people feel pressured to declutter things they need, use and love? Just shows how much Social Media is influencing us. I saw youtubers doing all these "I stopped being a minimalist" videos last year and sometimes I just had to shake my head. I remember one girl in particular who only had two plates and said it was a problem every time she had more than one friend over, which happened regularly. Also she was sick of her white sheets and wanted to add some colours and pattern I fear she might have decluttered all her sheets and bought white ones to fit the aesthetics, ugh). Decluttering was never about a certain look or deprivation. Decluttering my home was one of the best choices I could ever make for myself. And I am so glad I took my time and followed the process for several years. Back when I started in 2015 people frowned upon me decluttering so much and sometimes were seriously concerned as it was a completly new concept for most people. After I started with the obvious stuff and gained momentum, perhaps it crossed my mind to declutter all of my books because phsysical copies are not a necessitiy, right? But I was able to work though thoughts like these for days or weeks or even months before I would take drastic steps. I love that I could work layer by layer, revisiting spaces, peel the onion. It gave me an insight on what I had used since I decluttered that space 6 months ago and what I could let go of. When I felt my space turning back into chaos after 1,5 years of not decluttering, it made me realise that I need a small maintaining decluttering session every 3-4 months, because decluttering never truly ends. Finding an abundance of the same category year after year made me realize that there are items I buy too much of, and I enabled me to work on why that is the case, which holes in my life I try to fill and what I can do instead. I learned so much in the process about what I want to do with my time and what is truly important to me. I know who I am and what I love to do, I know my values and I experienced how my minimal space supports me and what I have to do to maintain it. With this knowledgeI can tell which items support me in my day to day life and what just gets in the way, regardless of that item already being in my space or someone offering it to me (for money or for free). Minimalism is all about getting to know yourself and finding out what works for you, what you value and prioritise in life. If you just copy and paste someone else's formula on your space, you will gain no benefits in the long term. You will neither have the knowledge about yourself and who you are as a person nor integrated habits and rules in your life based on that knowledge to maintain the decluttered space in the long term. Also: Please people, keep your sheets if you love them. Perhaps you don't need eight sets, but don't get rid of all of them just to purchase some white ones. The planet will thank you!

When I watch the minimalists house tours I know that If I had the opportunity, I would declutter their whole kitchen. Since I do not cook, to me it is clutter. Of course, my 2 jewelry airmoires and the jewelry chest and the watch box are not clutter, not the hundreds of pieces they contain.

My biggest “clutter” issue is my doll collection and my kids art projects, awards, etc. over the years.😌 I am struggling

Granted, my family has hoarding tendencies so she's at least half right, but the point about "if your clutter definition doesnt align with your sister's" hit too hard 😂 I know I have decluttering to do but she takes it to the next LEVEL

💜💜💜💜💜

Sigh…will this be the week where I get the two boxes of books & whatnot to Goodwill? I tried a couple of weeks ago & found that branch was not accepting donations. Frustrated. Then also guilty of the stuff I still have that I never used. Sigh.

Thank you! The religion of minimalism dances on my last nerve. Less is not more. Less may be best for a person, but come on, a tablespoon of sugar is not a 5# bag. My rant. Everything we own requires maintenance, so I ask myself, how much time do you want to spend maintaining this item?

I know that being able to organize is a skill, but have you yourself been like that since you were a kid?