"The letter to my inner child
Knowing what I know now, I would have protected you a lot more. I would have listened to you If I had known how hard you always fought, fought for love and attention. You were always good, but I could never see it then. I was too young to understand that I was just as good. Couldn’t understand why I wasn’t allowed to be loud and wild. I had a wonderful life, great parents, a brother who always protected me. A father who taught me everything. A mom who sacrificed herself to give us kids everything. But still, I knew that she always had a problem with me. Because I was free and wild, brave and carefree. I felt it didn’t suit her. And at some point, I couldn’t see anymore that it was just as good.
The worst time, however, was when I understood it, 20 years later. Understood that I lost myself in always trying to be exactly who she wanted me to be. Even though I knew she loved me.
I finally realized that I had to change my life. For me, for you, my inner child. You had to carry so many burdens and it was enough.
I started loving myself for who I am. And for the first time in years I was the carefree Anna that I always was.
I started changing my life. Started loving it again.
I was loud, free, carefree and full of love again. Just for me.
And now I’m sitting here falling into a hole again. Actually, I should go through the middle of my life carefree. Shouldn’t worry about the future. And yet I do. Over and over again.
And I keep arguing about all those things.
I don’t want to have to fight for you again, my inner child. You should be allowed to live just as freely as you did back then
But in the end, I just want to be happy.
12 сен 2024
