ANOTHER EVENT UPSET! | BEING HONEST WITH MYSELF || VLOG 72 

Just hearing Scott’s voice and his encouragement from behind the camera brings so much more reality to the situation, what a lovely supportive husband! Nothing massive just “Chin up Ash” ❤

So glad youre one of the few RU-vidrs who is brutally honest with their wins and loses! Youre such an inspiration to others to keep going and keep trying!!

That’s a young horse who is learning. That mound out of water into water was a huge ask. He saw the water and just was a bit wow’d. He really can xc like a pro and he’s got years left to improve his confidence and knowledge and strength. Do Not beat yourself up. You have to recognise that he’s learning and perfection very rarely happens. Enjoy his process, enjoy his learning. You’re learning to accept. Accept it’s all good. It’s all a process and that horse will turn into a very very high ranking 4 or 5 star.

Hearing how supportive Scott is really warms my soul ❤

Your past shyness has given you an open, honest nature that is very obvious to your viewers. We do notice and we do appreciate it. Keep carrying on!!

Omg hearing Scott say 'come on, keep going' literally has me in tears! The hard days are easier when you have such a fabulous team! Ok I just finished watching and I have this feeling all the time, jumping SMALL jumps, doing BE80 dressage etc. Riding is just mentally so tough and the lows that come with it do feel really quite, well, shit. I've cried after so many lessons thinking I'm terrible and letting my horses down and so I just wanted to send love and say I feel you!

You are a superb rider Ash. You have the insight to recognise the possible psychological impacts of your terrible fall - and you are addressing that; that in itself demonstrates your commitment and intelligence as a rider (many people would have just 'blamed the horse') . Personally I think that was an incredibly challenging combination, and it caught you out and many others on the day. I have generalised anxiety - and will never have the physical confidence to ride at your level, I'll be happy if me and my boys make it round BE100 some day! So I take my hat off to you for continuing this season despite the set-backs - that's what this sport is all about - resilience and having the Rocky Balboa mentality that enables you to come back fighting - you clearly have that, and its incredibly inspiring. x

The way Scott encouraged you brought tears to my eyes. Hopefully the mindset coach will help however your brain is having a perfectly sane reaction to having a fall previously and what a tough course!

You’re an amazing rider, and thank-you for sharing your confidence journey. I loved Scott’s little ‘chin up’ it melted my heart! Your family is so supportive of your career and I absolutely LOVE watching them. You’re one of the only horse YT that really shows the highs and lows of riding, we as viewers really appreciate that. Thank-you ❤ PS. You’ll get there with your confidence, we can already see it coming back even if you can’t x

Wow, that cross country course looked so hard and technical. You didn’t let him down, you make a good team with Maximus. Thank you for taking us along for the highs as well as the lows. Confidence is so hard to built but so easy to destroy. I had a big fall 10 years ago that left me very nervous. My injury was bad but it could have been so much worse and now I’m too scared now that I’m a little bit older to go out of my confort zone

Ash you got this girl! 🌸 Just keep going 🌺. I took a tumble after my horse was fresh and bucked me off and I know how you feel. When I rode him for months after I was scared just waiting for him to buck me off again. Just keep at it! You are such a talented rider with such talented horses. Competing at such a high level of the sport you are allowed to feel this way. Take time and focus on you ❤️🌸. We all love and support you

Ashley, I think you are a fab rider, who always puts her horses first! I completely understand how you feel,that little voice in your head that tells you that you can’t ride, I have that same voice. It takes a lot of guts to get on and ride the challenging courses that you do, and you do it well. Let me tell you, as a 51 yr old who has just returned to Eventing after a 13 year break, it’s not easy! But we do it because we love it, and that love for the sport ( and your amazing family and husband) will keep you going. Keep making the vlogs, this Brit in Canada loves watching them ❤

Aww sweetie, that was a tough course, especially after a 6week break. I'm glad you are getting some help to overcome your anxiety on the x country. Love how you have the loving support of Scott and your parents xxx

Ashley, you are an amazing rider. Maximus is a very talented Horse. Stick with it as you know being a rider is always going to be up and down. .Well done Scott for all the encouragement. Decent.😁👍xxx

Really nice transition at 12:12! As for the stop and the loss of confidence-- it can take a LONG time to mentally/emotionally recover from a fall. Months, a year, longer. Engage with the process, it will take time, be accepting of yourself and where you are at. "If you let it take the time it takes it takes less time."

You did absolutely incredible! I admire your transparency but you are brilliant and your horses are lucky to have you ❤

My husband and I love your posts. It’s hard when you loose your confidence, but with work it will come back! Thank you for being so honest on the vlog. Onwards and upwards!!!!

Crikey Ashley you cruised round the whole of that course with just one little blip, you should be very proud as you look so confident and Maximus wouldn’t jump so brilliantly if you weren’t. Hope Mindset coach helps but you have really got so much talent as have your horses, be proud girl! X

One of the most honest vlogs Ashley! The highs and lows of horses. Huge kudos to your support network and in particular to Scott. His words and encouragement was on point. Keep doing what you are doing sweetheart. We are all with you ❤

Don’t be too hard on yourself Ashley. You’re an amazing rider. Everyone takes a kicking sometimes. It just makes us much stronger and determined to achieve our goals, looking forward to your next vlog! Have faith in you and your amazing maximus! You got this 🫶

You have an amazing support crew and you ride the way so many of us can only dream of ❤ so interested to hear more about the mindset coach too if you can share please! Maximus was unreal but so were you! 😍 and I am pretty sure that Max had a bloody ball out there 😂

I had a almost catastrophic falls back in the 90’s I stopped Eventing all together as I did risks vs benefits & decided I didn’t want to be in a whelk chair or worse but after many years I’m doing lower level. Mentally it’s tough to get back into it so be kind to yourself and patient ❤️😘❤️😘

Just found your channel so lots of catching up to do but already you're one of my favourite RU-vidrs. You are so lovely and normal and likeable!

Is happening to everyone off us! Do not doubt you are incredible and Max is super star in the making ✨️

Getting back to the old self after a fall like you had is not easy. Don't be too harsh to yourself! Your a good rider and you will get back to where you were with your self-esteem.

Scott’s encouragement was great to hear. I think you did an amazing job, I wouldn’t even attempt jumps that big, Max doesn’t look like an easy ride. Keep working on your confidence, even going out once after that fall you had is a fantastic thing to do. Well done 💙💖

still cheering you on. And will keep doin so. Hope you get your moyo asap. You and the horses deserve it!!

You’re an incredible rider. These things happen and you’ve both come home safe! Don’t beat yourself up! I’ve been having issues with confidence too after my mare bucked me off when I asked her to canter. Sad I know…. But I didn’t canter for weeks because I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Your horses love you and don’t probably care what height jumps their doing. Just so long as they’re jumping them with you and having fun. ❤ you guys smashed that competition! Your family are so proud of you! ❤️ give yourself a pat on the back and a wee break hun! 🥰

You can defo ride! You have horses that r hard and u make them do what u want them to do! U r such a good rider don’t let a refusal put u off

Ash your a legend. I'm blind and now have a knee injury and it's so frustrating. It's nice to.see someone vlog actually vlog reality xxx #legend

good luck with everything - it's so tough when you've had a setback. you're such a good rider and i hope you can find the answers you need with the mindset coach. anxious to hear how it goes. :)

I understand how hard us riders are on ourselves. We spend so much time, effort, sweat, tears and money on these animals and sport, so when you don't do as well as you're capable of... it's natural to feel like you're letting everyone down. But the truth is, we're all human. We're all doing what we can and learning. At the end of the day, the horses just want to be fed, loved and in the field. They don't understand what they are worth financially or even how important a competition is. You're killing it and actually excited to hear about the mindset coach/sports psychologist as I've considered working with one myself! Love that you are vulnerable and brave enough to share this with those of us still doing the lowest of levels!

Your an amazing rider. I love watching your vlogs.

I love these Vlogs, you are doing a wonderful job, stay positive and kick on. 🙂

Good lord you are hard on yourself. That was a brilliant round. Really the log was in the shade with a little bit of sun on the side of it and the ground dropping away always back the horse off a little. I don’t think he could read the question quick enough and the light is something you just cannot predict. Eventing is a sport where split second decisions must be taken by the rider AND the horse. A sports psychologist would be great asset to help you focus on your amazing talent and keep you seeing the positive goal. Remind yourself every day what a clever, talented, positive person you are! I for one love watching you and your whole family and your wonderful horses in your fun, caring and informative vlogs.💝

You are BLOODY FANTASTIC Ashley!! I love watching your vlogs - seeing all your lovely family with you keeping your spirits up. Your horses are so beautiful and brilliant - what scope Max has! I love watching your vlogs and want you to know how much you are loved and I am in awe watching you ride! Keep on kicking and going... Love to your amazing family, horses and Bella too, from Liz in Lancashire xxx💕🐴😎💖

Great vlog! Please don't be too hard on yourself, we all have struggles, and having a bad fall can and will put people out of their "groove". I think the mindset coach is a good idea, professional athletes use mental training, and riders are also professional athletes!! Max is a star, and I think you're both great. I'd say come to Norway for a season :D you'd feel like the worlds best rider!! I don't mean to demean my nations rider, but I feel like the courses aren't as difficult here. Not just this 1*, but just 90 cm courses look ten times harder in the UK. Also, we all have ups and downs, it is what we learn from it that we need to take with us forward.

You are such an amazing rider and I am sure you will get the confidence back. Thank you for be always be so honest in your vlogs xx

Ash I think it's great you're meeting with someone. I had to see one after I got sick and I was surprised to hear that I wasn't 'stressed', I was having panic attacks. I had to do things differently and I did have to have a touch of meds but it was so nice to make decisions without all the emotion and adrenaline. I'm praying for you. Tammy

Great vlog guys! You did superb don’t beat yourself up too bad I have no doubt you will get your confidence back in time, you are a fantastic rider!

Ash: I believe in you. You’re my hero. Be kind to yourself and trust your ability. Think about all your fans who ride these events with you. Perhaps they are like me and are sending you good vibes, peace, and love. If you can be objective for a moment and see yourself working through this lesson. Part of learning sometimes is failure. This too shall pass. Don’t give up❤

We have all been there !! Your confidence will come back. You have got this !!

It was a learning opportunity for both you and Max. Good job getting help with the mental aspect, the brain is a huge part of competing. I really enjoy how you and Scott talk with each other, I suggest showing more of that in your blog. Also adding the voice balloons to show the horses’ thoughts is great!

Stay positive Ash…..there will always be a time in everyone’s riding life where we dip confidence……you will get it back again. You and Maximus are a cracking combo BTW x

You will be okay. It is really mentally tough after a fall. I know you will get past this obstacle.❤

Wow what a tough course!! But also wow you absolutely smashed it and with ease. The learning you will have gained - will far out way any 20pen blip!! Very special horse/rider combination and very exciting future ahead! 🤩

You are fantastic Ashley. Love your videos! You will get back into the flow again!

Loveing Scott’s encouragement!! 🎉🎉❤❤

Ash your an amazing rider to even get to this level and to complete at it is brilliant it doesn’t matter what happens as long as you have fun ❤

Wishing you so much future success! You did amazing here even if you don't feel like it.

I think you did a brilliant SJ, the double was spectacular. Put the CC behind you, he did great, you did amazing with him jumping out of his skin. Hope the mind coach can get you going again. Never had that sort of thing in my day.

Love your vlogs Ashley - they are so good - I don't think you have let anyone down.

Ashley you are a wonderful Rider and we all have part's of our Talented RIDING experience and It's good to be humble! Some times we have to put the past behind us!!! To A Wonderful Lady!!💞

The "shy kid" talk was really sweet, and i think i needed that. We all have our wins and loses with horses, that's just how they are. You're a very talented rider and i'm sure that next comp you'll get back into winning! 💖💕

Huge hugs hunni, you did so so well and tackling inner challenges within your mind is so so hard. I’m battling it atm too and despite knowing your horse (&yourself) are perfectly capable that voice just keeps piping up in the back of your head doesn’t it 😢 Ensuring we take time for ourselves and not being afraid to seek help is so important. Well done for sharing your struggles xx

Ashley your a wonderful rider with a beautiful personality I hope the person who coaches you helps you to get your head back into the cross country. It must be very hard after that awful fall to get your mindset back. We all love watching you and your family so chin up you will be ok. Also congratulations 🎈🎊🍾🎉 to you and Scott I wish you every happiness in your marriage..tfs😎🏇😎

Your a truthful, compassionate rider, we all have self doubt at times, you have again shown amazing skills with a young horse all power to you xx

Well done hun you did amazing x

Ash i think you did absolutely amazing, these things happen and there isn't much you can do about it once it's happened. learn from it and carry on being amazing❤❤

Firstly love your vlogs! Stay positive ash you are amazing and have such a supportive team around you easier said than done but everyday is a learning day and u learn from the exspriemce so don't beat yourself up ❤️

You’ve got this Ashley!! Give Max a pat for me for being more than Decent!

You both did so well. Lt Downham are notorious for building tricky tracks. You both finished the rest of the course with absolute ease showing you’re more than capable xx

Well done Ashley, for keeping going so well after that stop. Don't beat yourself up!

Remember you said if and when you were shy ,to keep on going regardless of state of mind.. With XCountry the state of mind, compared to the dressage and jumping ,has a higher perfection pressure

I think Iv watched over 15 videos in the last 2 days. ❤ Ashely your a natural in front of the camera ! And I just love the way everyone encourages you especially your dad.

How brave you are to be out there in the first place. Be kind to yourself, you can do this ❤

Ashley, you are a fabulous horsewoman! Keep your chin up and carry on. We all love your eventing vlogs! xxx

I wish you could see what us viewers see your an amazing rider and an inspiration to others wanting to go out and event and showing us a side of ridding some of us strive to be as good as keep your head high I can’t wait to event my new horse and hope to get this high one day thank you for inspiring us all

Thank you for sharing your feelings "If we where perfect all the time we wouldn't be humans" 💕

Love watching you videos Ashley, all of us have some bad days at the office every now and again xx

Ash💓- what a team you have around you! Max is such a pocket 🚀. Keep kickin forward girl, you’ve got this!💗

You'll get it next time! You're great and meant to go far. 🙋🏻‍♀️👍🐎❣🇺🇸

Don't beat urself up love, ur awesome and have all the time in thd world, seeing a mindset coach is a great idea as you've suffered a real knock to ur confidence that I don't think you've properly addressed yet but u will and you'll come back even better, take care u xxx

Well done!!! It is so difficult to get your mindset right after an injury

Love your honesty . And how much Scott supports you x

harry is sutch a mood we all love him

When you took Max out for a walk that's proper commitment, because he couldn't get outdoor pasture time that evening you walked him ❤

Wow Ashley! You are amazing at horse riding. If anyone says you a bad and a failure don't listen to them! Because I want you too know you are a brilliant horse rider no matter what anyone says! Scott seems to be very positive it warms my heart listen to him and not Harry who always makes me go woah! Brilliant riding! I also want my own horse but my parents still aren't convinced 😕. Is it hard owning a horse? It must be bloody expensive!

Thanks for always being so honest. Hang in there. Better things to come

This horse is a superstar. It thrills him to clear jumps...and he can do the double action to make sure he clears it.

The Best RU-vid Equestrian Family Always!!! Keep going because we all love you!!! Ashley you are the Bomb and deserve every success! Your Dad Harry is a Plonker but cannot be helped!!! 😍xx

Keep calm kiddo and don't be too hard on yourself. Remember a good spell ALWAYS follows a bad one. You'll push through this but I understand it's tough. Chin up Ashley x.

So enjoyed watching this vlog, thank you for the great coverage through your xc round. Don't be too hard on yourself, you did great! 💪

Ash you've got this, it's really hard getting over a bad fall. Scott was so encouraging, just wonderful. You've got an amazing support team. Perhaps maybe a sports psychologist could help.

You're doing great Ash, keep going ❤

He’s such a good boy it looks like he just tries so hard he was looking for the question so he slowed to see where it was! He’s a ledge and so r u… I think ur very hard on urself. I totally get the confidence thing i get so frustrated by it…

I think you are spot on and have come to the right decision, I hope you find what you need, my girls love your videos, kick on and keep it decent 😎

I thought you rode great it was a hard cross country course but you and maximum smash it with a small hic up all you have to do is to start believing in yourself we do 🥕❤️🦔

Oh Ash, please don't be so hard on yourself. Like you said there was a LOT going on around that combination, the horses sight lines were a mess, the next combination you came to you rode so well, I actually said "Well done Ash" out loud to my laptop. You've had loads on your plate and some hard decisions to make, of course that's going to affect your mindset. I really hope that seeing a coach helps you out, you really don't deserve the hard time you're giving yourself.

Absolutely love your honesty, you and your team are amazing ❤️

My stomach was in knotts watching the cross-country on to the mind set coach forget about that day and kick on we know you can do this .x

Hi I love all your videos your the best!!❤❤❤

this was such an amazing video to watch, the editing was just chefs kiss 🤌

Chin up sweet and congratulations to you and Scott on your marriage 🌸

Ashley it's ok.. thank you for your honesty. You have so much support from your family. Your feelings are quite normal for your age also. It is not only blockages from your fall.. but natural factors also not helping. Hormones can play a big part in slowing you down and giving u the feelings to the body to protect yourself. Your body is telling you that you need to protect your family also..a sort of mothering instinct kicking in telling you that you have to stay safe to look after those around u. It happens when u get married..u have different priorities...the mind and body is a complicated thing. I do trauma counciling PTSD.. sorry forgotten the spelling.. it is a number of things not just your mindset but unseen natural triggers... If ever u want to talk ask me to contact u.. I do not charge for my services... I talk out of experience.. good luck.. we are rooting for u.

Chin up Ashley, you can do this just don’t be so hard on yourself and start to enjoy X country again.

Great job! Scott is so supportive, what a great guy!!!! He was spot on just looks like he lost that momentum. I do love your realism and appreciate the ups and downs! You are a great rider with a wonderful horse in Maximus! Harder to get out of your head then any other thing💕

Really enjoyed this Ashley. Great ride I thought. Well done 👍 stay positive, brilliant riding sometimes things happen. You are one brave lady.

I so enjoy your vlogs. You did so well, stay positive, you are a fab rider.

Great dressage and score he was certainly excited to be back out jumping don’t be hard on yourself it was just one of those things to me his stop looked like he came through the water up the slope and spotted the water the other side and thought “dream on hooman im not going into THAT” 😂 it can take a while to get over a fall ,stay positive 👍