Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style 

0:00: 👶 Individuals with a preoccupied attachment style may have difficulty navigating relationships and seek constant validation. 3:11: 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Busy parents unintentionally cultivate a preoccupied child due to their own needs and erratic behavior. 6:22: 🔑 Attachment style influences both intimate relationships and career choices, with anxious preoccupied individuals seeking validation and avoiding conflict. 9:21: 🧩 Developing independence and a sense of self is important for individuals who are anxious-preoccupied. 12:35: 💆 Deep breathing is a good coping mechanism to calm down anxious parents in front of their kids. Recap by Tammy AI

My mom left when I was four. My dad was funny and present all they way up to her leaving, and then he changed. My dad remarried when I was 6. The new step mom was like Mommy Dearest and always screaming. I usually spend time by myself unless it is work/hobby. I find people to be difficult and selfish. Dating rips my heart out though. I think I fall for whomever comes at me with enough assertion, but then if they pull back at all I feel very upset and like I'm being toyed with.

Fuck. This is why my love life is horribly distressing.

I was just with an avoidant and got very anxious- but so many of the traits of the attachment style do not apply to me. I don’t need reassurance all the time. I love to be alone. But I do keep trying with people that cross boundaries because I have empathy for their attachment style and issues.

Fantastic Content! ... Dr Judy is not only Extraordinarily Beautiful but Incredibly Insightful, Knowledgeable and Wise. Gratitude & Appreciation.... Mahalo 💫

I can't wait for the fearful avoidant episode

Great advice Dr. Judy! Thank you

we want more interviews with dr judy please

Thank you for this ❤ very helpful as I do my inner work! 😊

I greatly appreciate all the valuable information!!! This style sits several of my older family members. Seeing the behavior I associate in a much younger person is confusing!

Thank you for sharing this particular video guys❤

Thank you so much. very useful information.

This video is gold.

Fantastic video!!!

I went off by myself after my dad passed, and my sister killed herself over his 11:53 I got in the car and drove, went without a cell phone for 6 months. I spent my whole life at the age of 52 try I ng to get my narcissistic mother to seek her approval. Needless to say, she and her two daughters mi b us one now stoled everything he left me. She made it very clear she didn't like me because I was my fathers daughter. Her daughter just happened to be an accountant. I just signed up to finish my he BA and Maters in the mental health field. I b was actually scouted by Harvard with a full paid scholarship after I became a Phi Theta Kappa. I chose to take care if my family and went to I NOVA Southern University. I have the life experience now to really dive deep. The movie Mommie Dearest, many years ago, I because the main character, the co b trolling mother, was exactly that way to me w I thought sounding like a poor me victim but the daughters name was named Christine. Same as mine. The 11:53 11:53 movie came on ironically not too long ago, and u was able to watch it. I am living b g c that you can heal, stop seeking approval, and that I am a badass to have survived. I never brought my tramictic life experiences to my friends so as to not stress them out. Sometimes, we must get to cwho we truly are by experiencing every human emotion and then some. Not everyone had a safe place during lockdown. We don't always really know what's going on behind closed doors. Just because we had the house in the so-called "right"zip code. The important thing is to recognize no matter what class, color, or belief system should be taken sincerely involving mental health. Immediate mental health needs to be taken more seriously than ever before. Thank you for bringing out these important factors in understanding what is going on with themselves. Mental health knows no boundaries. ❤

I absolutely love this video! I definitely identify with the Anxious Preoccupied Attachment style. I'm not too far out of a 37 year marriage and the first couple of years were almost unbearable. I'm starting to get out and do things by myself and learning how to be more self-sufficient. Since I love music, I'm also starting to learn how to play the guitar which I've always wanted to do but was always preoccupied with everyone elses needs.

Kyle has got the uber intellectual “mhmm” down pat…😂

I would describe my dating and etc. behaviors in my younger years (before and during the years I was married to my now ex-husband) as part of an anxious preoccupied attachment style. And I would say part of how I got drawn in and trapped in that abusive relationship was my (at the time) anxious preoccupied attachment style. I would agree with what was said in this video that regarding that. In my opinion, during my separation and divorce I was able to move out of an anxious attachment style. I say that because I was having casual sex with other men (but I chose to leave them all). I didn’t want any of them to be my boyfriend. Despite this, I definitely know (from my younger years) what an anxious preoccupied attachment style feels like. I am on my own these days (since fall 2020) And I’m not dating/am not involved with anyone and (so far) I feel like I am in a much better place/headspace in general. And I am also in a better headspace for deciding what kind of qualities I am looking for in a future partner. I also appreciate that this video talks about having hobbies at home. I had at least one therapist (years and years ago) recommend hobbies at home but for my mild generalized anxiety. I have picked up craft hobbies at home again recently. I highly recommend them.

Finally an attachment style that sounds like me.... nevermind still anxious avoidant lol

What a great conversation to listen in on. Thank you for sharing.

I am anxious attachment and I don't actually agree that we don't like being alone, I love my own space and recharge time as I am highly sensitive and need time away from people to re-energise. However when I am with my partner I do want lots of affection and affirmations of love, I also don't like waiting hours for a reply to a text as that can trigger abandonment. I also wouldn't have to spend time with friends, Infact I can be quite flaky as I am a bit of an introvert and often agree to something in the moment and then when he comes to it I then regret saying I would go. I do have all the other aspects of anxious attachment though, so maybe it's on a continuum and would depend on where on the line you are? I am definitely leaning towards being more securely attached since doing the work.

Interesting, watching your avoidance series it sounds like anxious preoccupied is not me except maybe as a baby however I am a lot more dismissive avoidance with issues communicating and a little fearful avoidance

I wasn’t clingy with my mother but I’m super anxious attached in my relationship. My mother was the same with my dad.

I lack emotional permanence but have never felt bad being alone.

Live workshops

Hmmmm I can definitely do anything alone but I am anxious attached . But I did get into a relationship with an avoidant and was very anxious and gave up my needs for them .

All these videos are extremely useful however the membership is extremely costly specially for people living in India.

What about people who were secure babies but then experienced major trauma. I now resonate with parts of all 4 😂

Are Dr Judy and Kyle in different seasons?

My Doctors don’t want to see me. They go on vacation or are out of the office. …I’m not taking the medication they want me on. I don’t want to be lobotomized. Life has a strange way of working things out. I’m fine but their perception of me is, … beyond me.

I feel like I don’t fit into one of these categories. I have a little bits of all of them and some of them she doesn’t even mention life what happens when you are a child of sexual abuse?

Hmmmmmm im not sure that i formed my attachment at BIRTH … i feel it happened between the ages of 6 to 11 where i was severely abused by a step parent and i feel that was the point where i Was not safe…my mom dodnt protect me so i have developed an anxiety disorder and signs of cotsd w the addiction of a 14 yr abusive marriage

Oooh dam my internet is slow 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

you tube has had some famous famous couple with the utmost soul talk...they be happy utmost...closer to truth like here one 😂😂😂

So we are born with our styles and not as a blank sheet @medcircle?

So there's no hope for AP no matter how hard you work.

You don't know about the pain we feel in our hearts when we are alone. Sitting alone in a coffee shop makes it worse. I can't just sit alone and watch couples who hold hands, find solace in each other. It is impossible.

Well that's me. Shoot

Okay I went to a sit down restaurant by myself and everybody was asking me where was my husband and why was I alone.. people do care and do comment

Shoot. I think my toddler has this style. Might be genetic because Im pretty sure this is my style, unfortunately. I want to help my toddler change this!

“Know thyself”

When will they do an interview about mother and father complexes and how it can result in homosexuality or relationship issues and even personality issues.