👉My videos and the effort I put into them are 100% free for everyone to enjoy, and all I ask is that you leave a thumbs-up on any videos that you like and subscribe to my channel - I have never, and will never, ask you for anything else. For those of you that still wish to support my channel further, however, I’ve posted my links below. Thanks! 👉 Patreon: www.patreon.com/thefilipinapea 👉 Support through PayPal: paypal.me/thefilipinapea?country.x=PH&locale.x=en_US ✅ Pea's Pod Pals: www.paypal.com/webapps/billing/plans/subscribe?plan_id=P-3XR99427R5493902SMTIAASY 👉Join this channel to get access to perks: ru-vid.com/show-UCrm4tEQqTrUP3MwB2G1mjHwjoin 👍🎬SUBCRIBE TO: ru-vid.com ✅TWITTER ACCOUNT: 🐥 twitter.com/FilipinaPea ✅Follow me on INSTAGRAM: 📲 📸📸 the_filipinapea 📸📸filipinapea ✅Facebook Account: 💻 facebook.com/thefilipinapea facebook.com/filipina.pea ✅TikTok Account:🎬 🎶TheFilipinaPea
That is entirely untrue. That’s like saying the only way to win a baseball game is to not play. You miss out on the entire thrill of every aspect of what it takes to play whether you win or lose., But in this case, it’s how you play the game. And you will always win. Even if when the game ends, you’ve learned a lot from that game to play the next game better. And eventually, you’ll be able to play the game without ever losing. But to have never played at all is a really sad thing in life.
In 1981, my then boss told me the following: Your head is for thinking, your feet are for dancing, so just remember to keep your bowels open & enter into no contracts. I laughed & asked him what does that all mean? He answered: Don't get married!. 😂 I think it means don't go into it blind. Be aware & do your homework. Reconnaissance is key. 🤓🕵️♂️
Met my Filipina in 2020 on a Filipina dating site (been in business since 75) on the advice of my coworkers that are married to Filipinas here in US. The main advice they gave was keep her at home because American 'woman' will ruin her. 3 yrs later (last December) we got engaged. Recently Ms Pea we watched your vid with Gracey I had to explain to her what a prenuptial was she had no problem with that. I do have to admit (even with a big age difference now I am 62 she is 31) when we met we didn't 'test' the water we jumped right in and it worked for us. Since we met it has been Heaven for both of us. We have a 'traditional' home life. When I am at work she takes care of our home/animals when I come home she takes care of me and I her. For those men in US and there girl is still in the Philippines we do have a suggestion which really worked for us. No matter what you can only 'talk' so much. So what we would do every night for hours we would go on video chat I would put my phone in front of my tv and we watched tv/movies/DVDs together it might sound crazy but we learned a lot about each other doing that.
@@Biboxismif it’s any help, most people recommend Christian Philippina- not because of the Christian aspect, but because they verify the ladies . This means id and age, so the scammers are quickly evicted.
For a gambling analogy I've been all in twice, and went broke twice. That was over 20 years ago, and I haven't been able to go all in again. Every relationship since, I've been the one with the house advantage, and they are the ones who go broke.
My Auntie's best advice to both me and my sister. Find someone that loves you more then you love them. And unfortunately the vast majority of women don't love men and only love what they can provide, the decision to not date at all is a pretty easy one.
All women are hypergamous. Always have been. HOWEVER social media has made women delusional about their SMV. Western society has replaced sexual morality with get as much as you want when you want. With delusional SMV women all want the top 10% of men leaving 90% of men on the outside. It gets worse. Marriage. In marriage women have all the leverage, this leverage is increased with children. 67% of all divorces are initiated by women. Western divorce courts find for women most of the time. Then there's lying, cheating, false accusations. all intended to gain leverage in family court. The sad fact is in Western society the majority of women are a risk, and the ramifications of loss is higher than in Los Vegas
That entirely depends on the the type of woman you choose to pursue. If you keep choosing to pursue dead ends, you are always going to lose. And that is the definition of insanity. Hoping that eventually that dead end is going to open up to keep going. It’s not, and that’s on you for choosing the wrong kind of woman. You’re choosing always to play with players. Stop doing that.
And lastly, as always, shop locally. There’s lots of Filipinos where everyone lives to not have to resort to going overseas and import your life. That is almost always 100% a disaster. as on both sides of that scenario reeks of desperation.
The true test is finding someone that will love you more than they love themselves. They are out there, but you won't find them at bars and sports events.
Being a good judge of character is an essential life skill. No one can predict the future; all we can do is manage things that will likely come up along the way.
Agree a 100% but will add the need to check out family longtime. My wife is great but her family see me as there free ATM, and start drama between my wife and me
Deception is alive and well...nah, it is the luck of the draw. Unless you are Solomon you are taking a chance just like everyone else...Yes, I have prayed for discernment and wisdom...
For me ….the point when relationship starts being a game is….the end of relationship. And….As always I’m impressed with you Pea. You save my faith in women . Thanks
This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counselor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back
Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being.
Its part of the grieving process. And just like everything youve been through in life, this too shall pass. Let it be what it is, and theres no going back and its time to start a new chapter in your amazing life. One day youll back and youll see everything clearer
I'm the oddball here - a 40 year happy marriage that was literally till death do us part. I did date for a little after my wife passed, including a widow that had a similar occurrence (same husband for 43 years, then he died of cancer). As I told her "We're the winners in the game of life. We've both had something that most people will never experience."
If both partners were happy until death, you were truly blessed. Often times, one partner is happy while the other is not. Other times, neither partner is happy, but they stay together for the sake of the children or their shared friends or religious beliefs. How very sad.
Only odd by todays jacked up standards. In your era women had to deal with the results of their actions which made for far far better women. In todays world women are worth nothing, demand everything, all the while taking no responsibility/accountibility for what they are and the courts support this by rewarding them.
YOU are the one that people should be taking advice from regarding having a successful marriage, not losers like the guy in the video Pea just reacted to.
New to Dumaguete and have rolled snake eyes my whole life in the dating game. I am one of the few expats that isn't here to roll the dice. I'll be happy with my 2 dogs, they are the only creatures that gives you 100% lifetime love and loyalty.
@@TheFilipinaPeaIf you want to see true love lock your dog and your old lady in a closet. When you come back a hour later and let them out you will know instantly which one loves you.
I think the biggest issue is that because so many men feel starved for love they'll pounce on anything that looks remotely like it. Logic and critical thinking go out the window (guilty as charged). I take his meaning to be more along the lines of "don't dive in head first" or to pace themselves. Love is out there, but hedge your bets 🤷♂️
Yep-being love starved is tuff-you start looking for a woman's affection in all the wrong places. I've found myself overlooking huge red flags hoping for some love and affection. Orion is right-being the adorer evokes extremely powerful emotions of love-so much so that any sort of common sense goes right out the window. I've caught myself starting to fall for women whom having a relationship with would never work out. I'm just glad that I was able to stop myself before I did something rash.
OR! insure that you go over the arrangement before hand, look if you run into a female you can say to her, hey, I am looking for this in a woman, if this is not you say so so we can keep looking, 9 of 10 most women will say yea I can do that, whatever it might be as long as you are willing to budge for her expectations and follow through and I can guarantee most of it will be, you do not lie, you remain faithful, and you remain responsible and employed, women are so easy to fulfill, a little good sex and its a done deal long as you follow those simple rules.... most relationships fail because these expectations are not met, or are not OUTLINED! yo can eve record all agreements in case down the road someone slips, the recording can be played back.. nevermind marriage or someone else idea of marriage each couple must come up with their own agreements on their own terms, or it wont work .. YOU MUST AGREE TO TERMS NO MATTER THE LEVEL MARRIAGE COUPLE WHATEVER, some couples only want someone to take care of them sex isn't on the table and tell their other hey of you want go do it I just don't want to see it and as long as you are there for me its all good.. some only want to skydive or ride motorbikes whatever, each couple is different why a standard marriage contract is garbage, if you are a female and having the toilet seat down at all times is important by all means say something before you get to that point and all the arguing and insults can be avoided.. if you're a dood and rubbing one out to goats doing it is your thing, just say so! you might be surprised and hear something like, as long as you make me come 3 times a week I don't care of you masturbate off the Eiffel tower to birds . . . also, if you have a deep seeded temper and anger issues say something! let her know your buttons so forth, most the time if you agree to help then its all good, and if you can tackle the anger issues WIN WIN! anger issues do no one any good at all, losing them is best for all, but hiding it is ignorant then having it poke its head out at the most inopportune time can spoil a partnership, unless said partner knows about it and knows what to do, seek shelter, be quiet, rub your back whatever, and seek help before entering into a partnership, you know if you have anger issues or are abusive, DEAL WITH IT AND TACKLE THEM!!! then you don't have to worry, then you can say "I used to have bad anger issues I was controlling, abusive" whatever, but I participated in lots of counseling and am pretty sure its all behind me now, do your best to keep yourself in control and its all good... openness openness openness... if your a serial killer rapist criminal theef whatever, go jump off a high bridge I have no answers for you cept deal with your shortcomings, get right, its OK to be normal and nice, even if someone was mean to you or abusive.. I had a horrible childhood, starvation, abusiveness, total neglect you name it, beatings all that, I try to deal with any psychological or character disorders that i inherited from all that, works! but you have to be willing to identify, admit then deal with whatever it might be . . women keep dumping you but you don't know why, text one and sincerely ask why? "I need to know so I can fix it".. most divorces are so petty its ridiculous, do NOT marry anyone unless you are 110% sure this person is the last person you will ever sleep with, if not then do no get married.. divorces suck for children, then who is going to be around your children, Jeffery Dahmer? if you are there you know who is around them...
Why the hell, at retirement age, should I... 1) get married 2) cohabitate 3) impregnate 4) raise some other fool's kids 5) tie myself down inconveniently 6) throw away all the peace, quite, rest, adventure and fun.. that I had been working my whole life for 7) make myself more valuable dead than alive 8) support an entire clan of strangers that weren't there for me when my a$$ was in pain working with ailments all those years 9) give into a self defeating trend of stu_pid decision making 10) make myself more miserable with drama 11) leave one stressful life for another 12) put myself at a disadvantage 13) subject myself to people's bullsh$t 14) do anything other than enjoying my life in my retirement? WHY??? To each their own! ✌️
Sounds like you and I are at the same conclusion. I'm too old to start over again to put up with that long, valid list you post. Thanks for itemizing the situation.
if you have no kids but have a home and stability, find an american woman, a good one, tell her the deal, you pay to have his kids, boom, now you have legacy to hand your shit down to and have someone legit to take care of you when you cannot...
@@deandee8082 In the US, that used to be true. Generations of families used to take care of older adults until the 90s. Now, they are too busy buying the newest thing on Instagram. After you hit 60, you become a ghost, and what you’ve been taught in school is all wrong. The younger generations look at you as racist and a dumb ass before you say a word to them. Please don’t blame them. Blame the parents. Asian culture still respects the elderly and their wisdom.
My wife and I got married in 1981. If you did the math and came up with 43 years, good job. Marriages don't last that long without a real commitment. I just spent 6 weeks alone in the Philippines on an exploratory and am considering us relocating to an assisted living facility in Cebu because she has early onset dementia and their staff has memory care professionals. Don't get me wrong, I was tempted many times by the beautiful filipinas I encountered, but my commitment did allow me to resist that temptation. Loyalty is a trait that has it's own rewards.🥰 Good video, Pea!
👉My videos and the effort I put into them are 100% free for everyone to enjoy, and all I ask is that you leave a thumbs-up on any videos that you like and subscribe to my channel - I have never, and will never, ask you for anything else. For those of you that still wish to support my channel further, however, I’ve posted my links below. Thanks! 👉 Patreon: www.patreon.com/thefilipinapea 👉 Support through PayPal: paypal.me/thefilipinapea?country.x=PH&locale.x=en_US ✅ Pea's Pod Pals: www.paypal.com/webapps/billing/plans/subscribe?plan_id=P-3XR99427R5493902SMTIAASY 👉Join this channel to get access to perks: ru-vid.com/show-UCrm4tEQqTrUP3MwB2G1mjHwjoin 👍🎬SUBCRIBE TO: ru-vid.com ✅TWITTER ACCOUNT: 🐥 twitter.com/FilipinaPea ✅Follow me on INSTAGRAM: 📲 📸📸 the_filipinapea 📸📸filipinapea ✅Facebook Account: 💻 facebook.com/thefilipinapea facebook.com/filipina.pea ✅TikTok Account:🎬 🎶TheFilipinaPea
One of the main reasons I did not get married. I intend to stay with my 'wife' till I die and take good care of her. But if she is unhappy with me, she is free to leave.
True but you should know before officially asking how they feel about one. I had that discussion many times in dating over 100 women. Men in general don't pay attention to women. They see them as a trophy, and once obtained they pay no attention to them and how they think. I spent 25 years studying women(I didn't get married until I was 37).If you want to be successful you have to put in the time and understand what (the game) and Who (women) you are dealing with.
That guy is right, I've played that game and lost too many times. Men eventually get to a point where they can't afford to get in a marriage again, since they don't have enough time left to financially recover from a divorce, which inevitably happens in most cases.
1. If you got married for any reason other than having kids and a family, then thats on you. 2. IF you got married more than once, again thats on you. I'm 55, Been married for 18 years. My one and only marriage. I will tell anyone. This is my only one. There is zero reason to get married if we end up divorced. I would argue after age 45 for a man or a woman there is zero reason to get married. I have yet for somebody to make a valid argument otherwise. At 45 or later there is nothing to gain and everything to lose.
@@spartanx169x I have to agree. I have a friend who plans to remarry and we had a discussion about it. Another friend and myself asked if what is the advantage of getting married and he could not come up with a good reason.
When I was a teenager. We used the 4 F system. I should have stuck with that. Find them, Feel them, F them and Forget them. I could have lived a much better life.
What ruins marriage for me here in the states, at least from a financial standpoint and "going all in" is how much the "rules" of relationships have changed without the laws changing. With a "traditional" marriage I'd have been married by my mid 20s with a reasonable chance of being married til death do us part...so more or less marrying at that age you are entering the marriage with no meaningful financial assets, and hopefully both parties without much baggage either. These days though, a lot of women aren't even looking to get married until they are 30+ because they want to have their fun in their 20s. Well what does that mean? I found myself an unwed millionaire in my 30s, so now "going all in" is a huge financial risk for me. That same woman around my age here that I'd have loved to marry ~15 years ago, well, what do I get from her now? I get a woman that has already "gone all in" with many men in her past who rather than accumulate assets has just accumulated baggage. Like I said, the laws haven't changed. Men get treated the same in divorce whether you married an 18 year old who never had time to work on her career or a 38 year old who had 20 years to work on her career before she met you. When the divorce happens, you simply have to pay, so you assume the same financial risk for what exactly? One of those women gave you her prime years to build a family, and the other just did her own thing and happened to not make make as much or accumulate as much before you got together...so if you split up, you owe her the same as the woman who gave you her youth and a family? Nah...I'm not signing up for that deal. I wanted to get married maybe when I was 23, to someone my age when we both had a clean slate with little in the way of assets or baggage so we could build a life together. Well, society here doesn't work like that anymore and now that I've worked hard to build up my assets I'm more interested in retiring in my early 40s and moving abroad where life is cheaper and hopefully the dating pool a bit better than I am marrying a 38 year old single mother with mountains of debt and a toxic view of men because in her past she's made many bad choices in men and doesn't even know what a real man is.
Good outlook, when you go overseas some advice from a retired Sailor been to over 30 countries, always try to fit in, buy some cheap local clothes, no bling, never disclose your assets or too much info, they will spread your info using cocoanut hotline far and wide.
In "the book of numbers" by Aaron Clarey he annualized the R.O.I. on the reality of relationships. Turns out there's a 4.5% possibility you will find a keeper.
I have a coworker that has a LDR that he has known for about six months he said that they both were in love with each other, but had never met… The most foolish thing he did was buy her a ring and told me that he was going to surprise her when he moved out there while they were having dinner to propose … well that truly backfired because she said she was not ready and that was in front of a lot of people in the restaurant so he pretty much came back to the states with his tail between his legs… Great video from Master Pea❤
Ooof...sounds like a complete moron. Its sad how some guys get that mind set...they just set themselves up for disappointment or being taken advantage of. I'm planning on moving abroad in my early 40s...but I've got zero interest in finding an internet girlfriend before I go...I'll just wait until its boots on the ground and see what I can find.
as stated many times before, "the only winning move is not to play" one cannot put a monetary value on harmony and peace of mind. no snatch is worth the hassle despite how good it looks, it's still a depreciating liability!
My experience over the years has led me to a hard reality about relationships - they have a shelf life. Some last longer than others but eventually they all run their course. Women have come in and out of my life and will continue to do so all my life. At different points in my life they offer something I need at that time. Some offer companionship, others offer a good time and others fill a need I may want. I do not take any of them too seriously nor do I expect more from them than what they can give me. No one can fulfill all my needs so when one comes into my life, I embrace it, enjoy it and as long as it improves my life, I continue to keep it there.
There is a lot of wisdom in this video. 12 months makes so much sense. The "rule" used to be survive the holidays, a road trip, and a move before making long term plans, and never make plans further into the future than you have known each other, but what do I know? Once, a girl met me at the airport. This was our first meeting. In her morning rush to get there in time she forgot to brush her teeth. That did not spoil the visit. I never mentioned it to her. I am not that stupid. Much of the wisdom in your videos is very universal and applies to ladies from any country. Thanks as always Pea
The best I've heard it summed up is, "Men pick a woman hoping she won't change, while women pick a man hoping that he will". Personally I try for the sweet spot between tolerance and apathy.
Think like this if your move to the Philippines its better to rent than buy. If you unhappy with the rental you can move but if you buy you might not find anyone that wants the property anymore.
I understand the cliche but its not entirely true. We all want a partner who will mature and grow with us as we get older. A woman (or man) who acts 20 years old when shes 40 would be a lonely frustrating marriage.
Thanks Pea. Maybe surprisingly your comment about being willing to go "all in" on a relationship is the most memorable statement in your video. Glad to know there is at least one more of us!
I agree with some of what he said but I also agree with you. For most of my life I have chased the fairy tale and got burned, but now that I’m older and wiser I believe I’m making better choices. The only constant in life is change, and love is a choice not a feeling. No matter how much changes around you your relationship will last if neither of you change your mind (not your heart) and choose to stop loving and supporting each other. I like the reaction stuff too Pea. It is nice to feel validated but it’s also wise to seek other people’s perspectives in case you have a blind spot on a subject. Listen to all but make and take responsibility for all your decisions. As always Pea you don’t have to reply. I’m going to stop putting this line in comments but just know I will never be offended if you save time for yourself by not replying to any of my comments. Take care Pea and see you in 3 days 😊
IIn the past, our elders in France practiced what was known as "fiançailles": a period of two years during which a man and a woman would meet once a week to get to know each other better. It was simply common sense.
Hi Pea, I like most of your videos, and I always enjoy hearing your different perspectives even if I disagree. This video falls into that category. I'm a 63yo WM who has been burned twice in marriage. My first was 13 years, the second 19 years, and yes, in both cases it was the women that left me. In spite of that I still believe that we are not meant to go through life alone. Last year I found a wonderful Filipina through one of your sponsors, Christian Filipina. We met in person, became engaged, and are now going through the K1 visa process to be married here in the US. The gambling analogy falls apart on two very important points. First, the willingness of both parties to do the work that any relationship requires, but the second and most important is to have a common faith in God to help tie you together during the rough patches that any marriage will have. So Pea, please don't let your subscribers believe that only a "world view" of relationships exists, and thank you again for having Christian Filipina as one of your sponsors.
I’m glad you found love, Dennis! ❤️❤️❤️ But I don’t accept any sponsors - you probably just saw one of their ads on my videos (I can’t control who RU-vid sells ad time to). Congratulations, and keep us all posted! ❤️❤️❤️
I'm one of the luckiest, unlucky, guys then. I meet my wife in high school, we were married for 32 years till she past away. I dated on line and found another lady, that was perfect for me at my age, We lived together for 12 years, till she passed away. Those were the only 2 women I ever dated, or been with. You also get as much as you give in life.
Your first statement was correct. You are extremely lucky. Your last statement is wrong: You get as much as you give in life. You are now taking credit for something that was pure luck. Lucky guys always do this. they think life is so easy and can't imagine why everyone else has so many problems.
@@wildbill562My dad and oldest brother went missing never to be found in 1970, I was 13. That left my mom with 6 kids. Wow how lucky I was. I took care of my other brother while he passed of brain cancer. My younger sister died of RA, it eat her diaphragm till she couldn't breath anymore. luck just seams to follow me. My wife had cancer for 16 months, which again I took care of her. How much luck can one guy get. My 2nd love also died of brain cancer, you guess it, her 2 daughters and I took care of her the whole time. But yea, I still think I'm lucky. sometime it's better to say nothing then saying you really don't know about.
@@stargells1384 Heartbreaking story---you're right -you're a lucky unlucky guy. You've had the blessing of loving 2 wonderful women, and the sadness of losing them. I feel you buddy.
Think of a relationship as you would a business investment. With relationships having a failure rate of 50%, would you invest in that company? Probably not. So invest your love by using your brain. See it as doing your due diligence when looking for a partner. That’s why I never have and never will give money. It’s one metric that can rule out a lot of grief. Great video as always Ms Pea and thanks for sharing. 🙏
I think that in the long run, most men and women are simply better off living apart. It is easy to hire someone to do everything for you in the Philippines. No need for a long-term commitment.
I'm in the "Single, not looking" camp. And I'm happy with that. Women, for men nowadays, are a luxury, and I am overly cautious on what I define as a luxury in my life at this stage 🤘🤘
Problem is you would be better off going out and seeking the woman of your choice, such as getting a passport and finding a Pea of your own. but what happens to guys like you is a woman, likely a post wall woman who did some bad things in her life will know exactly how to butter up your heart and you won't resist and you'll end up with a hag rather than a fine woman. So I always advise guys, just seek out a good humble woman and better if you go passport bro.
Love is infinite. Every time you get hurt most people close the door a little bit more giving the impression that your "love" is limited. But if you force the door wide open, you give yourself a chance to find a real relationship that can last a lifetime. If you hold back the relationship will 100% fail so good luck with his bitterness.
PsyHacks is a great channel to react to! Vetting is the only way to ensure you are choosing a quality woman, which is why it's important to remain objective. To quote a wise man..."Fellas, judge a woman with your eyes closed." RIP KS
I’m glad you watch Psych-Hacks too . One of the most intelligent channels out there . A saying among my peer group is “ Many men never actually meet their wives until they meet them in divorce court .” We are pretty good at deceiving each other . Sometimes for years . Perhaps that is the lesson to be learned in the end . Young men are looking for the deception in women , and trying to uncover it . Old men understand that there will be deception…perhaps they can show some compassion and kindness in knowing the fear and pain that prompts someone to need to hide their true selves like that . If a woman hides her flaws to try and please you , it’s a compliment of sorts . She cares what you think of her . Men in my group may hit you with brutal reality … the scars of injuries past … the toughness of their present … to see if you are capable of being with them . Honesty taken to the extreme . Most women aren’t . I think that’s why we get on so well with you Asian ladies . Y’all have been a bit closer to the fire , and felt the burn , so to speak … than western women . We can appreciate that . And y’all don’t seem to hate us so much . If that’s a lie … keep doing it .
I've been burned by a Filipina and taken for a great deal of money. Filipinas can be just as self-centered, ruthless and greedy as western women, believe me... And many will say that because they are from a third world country, it is their divine right to be that way...
I'm turning 69 this month and resonate with your thoughts. I like slim, sexy, young babes with pleasant attitudes just like every other guy in the world. So many younger men are fixated on a woman's "body count." Or they want a virgin to start a family with. I don't care about that at all. First of all, a woman will never tell you the truth about their past sex life - unless she is so unattractive that she actually has none! But even GRO's will lie and claim they never had sex for money. Who cares? Let them lie and feel like they are fooling you into thinking they are a "good girl." Secondly, just as experience counts in every sphere of life, it does in the bedroom too. I will take an experienced girl over a virgin every time. An experienced escort knows what men like and is willing to provide it. Perfect! Always rent; never buy. People change. Don't get locked into one relationship. Stay liquid. Keep your options open.
I was married 38 years when wife passed away. Hate to say I don't see how anyone could take her place. I am only 64. Enjoy your show keep up the good work.
No one can take her place, but another woman can bring some joy back into your life. I'm close to your age, and companionship means a lot to both men and women as we get older.
I think the best interpretation of "don't love 100%" would be; Don't tie your self-worth/self-image to your partner and/or his/her perception of you. Don't just fold and start getting dragged down when he/she starts looking down on you because his/her perception is distorted by seeing thing through the lens of a bad mood, or let yourself start seeing yourself as lesser, or even nothing, because he/she's lost sight of everything great about you. HOWEVER; You also shouldn't lock yourself into an "emotional tug-of-war" where you make a habit of trying to oppose everything he/she does, because you'll just end up dragging yourself down when he/she sees how high you could fly and tries to give you constructive criticism to help you overcome your legitimate pitfalls and reach your full height.
Relationships require commitment. Each person should ideally be repeatedly choosing to make the relationship work. Each person is repeatedly adjusting, growing/changing and choosing to try to do better for the relationship.
@@TheFilipinaPea Lately I have been reconsidering traveling to the Philippines, or anywhere at this point. It doesn't matter where men go, they are still vulnerable to hypergamy and I just would rather save my money for myself. It might be a depressing thing to think about, but unless there is a country that has very strict laws to protect men from gold diggers, liars, and cheaters, it's just worth the risk, even over in your area. I'm only 36 though so I wouldn't be able to travel to the Philippines right now anyways without a steady income.
@@TheFilipinaPea My Pre-Nup with my Filipina was THROWN OUT. My current GF is 6mos pregnant with our second child. She KNONWS that I will NEVER marry her.
@9:57 Here it is. This comment is totally off-topic but very prudent. And is directed towards the ladies. This guy is a professional therapist. This comment is for the ubiquitous body count question. In majority cases, men do not connect emotionally with sex. However, most women do. Men stay away from women with high body counts because of the emotional baggage. Emotions of a woman with high body count are practically impossible to repair.
@@Gregabob I think so, As a Shorter guy that isn't as Attractive She might start thinking of a guy with a Bigger penis or better face or better body and compare them to you.
As bad as marriage is in general I've never understood people who get divorced and then get remarried. That's like getting bitten by a rattlesnake, surviving and then taking a bite from a cobra because the bite might be good this time.
What is being suggested by not going all in on love with someone, is don’t go all in on conditional love. True love is caring for someone’s well being with compassion love and kindness for them as a human being regardless of your contributions. Conditional love is thinking you love someone as long as they provide you something in return, or meeting a need that you have. Like, I will love you as long as you look a certain way or provide money so I can buy the things I want or satisfy me in some way.
Yeah, me too. I have two of them. And many days I'm out at the airport all day. With a woman at home, they'll start to bitch if we are gone all the time doing our own thing. I don't have to hear any of that now.
@@samueldavis2327 I have an airplane too-the funny thing is-you can use it to get a woman! You really stand out from the crowd being a pilot, and you stand out even more owning a plane. The woman's curiosity factor will get your foot in the door so to speak. After that it's up to you-the novelty of you being a pilot will only get you so far.
@@Gregabob I am an airline transport pilot with DC 3 type rating and about 6700 flight hours. I flew professionally from 1967-1977. I can definitely confirm what you are saying. Then I went back to medical school and attracted even more women.
I married my Filipina wife when she was 36 and I was 40. It was the first true lasting relationship for both of us. 2 kids and 15 years later, it's like we're still in our dating phase. :)
This is spot on. 100%! Men read this and understand this very clearly. “She is not yours. It’s just your time.” Statistics show women do most of the breaking up like he mentioned. Whether that’s a marriage or a relationship. Divorce rate is 50%. In gambling that’s not a very good bet. Just go in with your eyes open, enjoy the moment and do not expect anymore.
Great topic. Your balanced perspective is always delivered well. You workouts are really paying off. Keep up the great job. I always appreciate the wisdom and experience in the comment sections of your videos.
Excellent video as always Pea!!!! It is said men marry for love, women marry for a lifestyle. I don't know about Filipinas, but that saying seems to hold true here in the west.
I think what he meant by not loving someone 100% is because in the west women tend to date based on a man's resources and what that man can bring to the table, but the women don't want to offer anything of equivalent value other than stating they are the table so you end up with the man loving the woman unconditionally while the woman has a list of conditions that will cause her to leave the relationship if the man doesn't deliver. On a podcast with both men and women they asked the question how long would you support your partner if they became ill and could not take care of themselves? The men all stated as long as it takes for the person to recover. The women on the other hand said up to six to eight months and then they would have to leave because they would be doing all the work in the relationship.
My wife is Filipina. I met and married her 35 years ago. We don't play games; we grow together but she is still my Queen. She is the most beautiful and smartest person I know. She is only 3 years younger than me and at 62 years old, so very cute and sexy. I do my best to take care of her and make her happy, hopefully as happy as she makes me when I just look at her. I am the luckiest man in the world, I still get surges of adrenalin and chills when I hold her, sometimes even looking at her. I love going places and doing everything with her, I feel better when she is around. This is what love is and what everyone should be looking for and it will last you an eternity.
I feel exactly the same about my Filipina wife, who is 3 years younger than me at 58. She turned me from the unluckiest man in love, into the luckiest. I still think I'm a very lucky man to be married to her. In two months, it'll be our 25 Wedding Anniversary.
Pea finally found PsycHacks… Been watching both channels since they were under 20k subscribers 😂 Dr. Taraban is a fantastic resource for the psychology behind dating and interpersonal relationships.
I am now 11 years into my relationship with my Filipina wife. We lived in HK for 5 years and now we live here, in the Philippines, where we have property and a business and a decent income. We have a son together, I support her daughter and our niece at university, as well as some of the kids at school. We employ her family in our businesses. Of course there is a 'monetary' element to our relationship. She knew I had money when we met (just not how much) and that was clearly a factor in our getting together, but that is the same the world over. Today is my birthday. She bought me a cake. My step-daughter's boyfriend bought me a bottle of wine, which I am currently drinking. He had no need to do so but he did so out of respect for me - and she told him to! I cannot really fault my life. Yep, it is business, but there is also affection and everyone is doing just fine.
Not to spoil your reality, but it's evident that' much more then just " a 'monetary' element to our relationship" involved there. If you woulnd't be willing to provide for her whole family but wanted a marriage and indipedent life just for yourselves, all this "niceness" would fall apart very, very quickly..
I’ve heard that both men and women present their personality at the beginning of a relationship. This is how we want to be viewed by people in the world; especially someone we are trying to impress. But the longer we are around someone, our character starts to emerge. Hormones also come in to play at the beginning of a relationship causing some distortion on how we view others and how they view us. It really is worth waiting awhile before making a long term commitment so both parties can see more clearly what they are getting into.
HI Pea: As usual…you continue to amaze me! Your perspective and comments convince me that you indeed have a very sophisticated approach to life in general. You are refreshing in so many ways! 🥰
No. They can only throw shadows at you and try to convince you to ruin your own life all by your own hand. Ultimately, they only have as much power as you give them.
I absolutely love his channel and yours. Hes makes many great points. I used yours do do many hours of research on the trip to cebu that I literally just got back from. Even with all my experience and research, I went and became star struck almost instantly for the short time I was there. I was very cautious the entire time I was there and didn't really go on many dates but only a few. It's so easy to lose yourself when every girl thinks you're a rock star. Everyone I spoke to said wheres your GF or wife. Most girls I spoke to got shy and would clam up almost instantly the same as I would back home when talking to a pretty girl. I plan on spending a month there next year looking for a good mate, and this will give me time to do more research. Take your time and be wise my dudes. The Philippines can be a slippery slope even with lots of financial and life experience.
Pea, fantastic reaction video! I totally agree - relationships are a complex dance, not a job interview. Both men and women can invest deeply, and analogies like "employer/employee" can be limiting. Dr. Terban offers a framework, but like you, I feel it misses the bigger picture. Your point about giving and receiving resonated with me. True balance comes from allowing ourselves to be givers and receivers. It can be a beautiful thing, fulfilling for both partners. Communication is key to setting healthy boundaries, especially as things change and adaptation is needed. There's no one-size-fits-all answer, but Dr. Terban deserves credit for tackling complex concepts. Savvy viewers will understand his ideas can be applied from different perspectives. Humans are complex! We have genetic programming, free will, and cultural influences that weave a rich tapestry. It's what makes relationships so fascinating! Thank you for fostering open communication - this video will definitely help viewers approach relationships with more understanding. Keep up the amazing content!
My mother told me when she meet my father. It was love at first sight. They eloped and got married a few months latter. They were 21 and 19. They remained happily married until my father passed at 80. 5 years latter and my mom still tells me all the time how much she misses him. Love is a real thing and it can happen.
And it also makes you more likely to have a successful marriage if you had the example from your parents. I didn't really have that. My parents divorced when I was four or five. Still trying to figure this whole dating thing out. Take advantage of the good example set by your parents
Similar story with my paternal grandparents. Married in their early 20s, happily married until they passed away within a year of each other in their late 80s.
Prenups are a good way to help deal with the imbalance of divorce. It's not perfect but its better than nothing. Women who specifically get angry at you protecting yourself are definitely a walking red flag.
MY 76 YEAR OLD CHINESE WIFE IS THE ONE! I'M A 76 Y. OLD AMERICAN CAUCASIAN MALE, AND WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED 50 YEARS. WE'RE IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL, BABY! ALL THE WAAAAAAAAY!
You lucky dog! I saw a couple like you at the grocery store a while back-it was nice to see. I'll bet your wife still looks good to you too! Asian women age so well generally. I know a Chinese woman who I'm sure is pushing 50 but her body looks like she's 35.
To - gregabob. Yes, in general, Asian women can hold up well. But, they are not immortal. But, yes, I am very lucky. I would not trade my Chinese wife for anyone else. But you young guys, even Asian girls, watch out for red flags
I reallly appreciate the effort and sound reasoning that you put into your videos. It is really obvious that you do your research and that your advice is always well thought out and sound. Your editing is smooth and professional. Thank you. You are awesome! (Not to mention beautiful) 😀❤
You are so correct and very perceptive to come to the conclusion that men love more deeply than women. When men realise this we go through a period of biterness because we have been told all along it's the other way around. Horrible gas lighting. Seeing women like yourself admit this fact is very healing and once again dear Pea you are a true world treasure! When you finally partner up with that lucky man I wish you all the success in the world. ❤
VERY INTERESTING as Sgt. Shultz asserts- Life's perspectives change just as the acuity of your eyes. No one looks through the same lenses , not even you as you mature. I definitely see the world , specifically relationships differently than I did at age 21 yrs. I and my 1st wife grew apart to the point where I didn't know what hit me when she insisted on a divorce. Some 50 years later ... I still have love for her.
Thank you Pea! I enjoyed this reaction video! The guy pretty much nailed it about everything! I agree with you Pea about men and our love ! If a person is invested 100% emotionally in a relationship, a break-up can and will be devastating! I've been there done that! Have a wonderful weekend dear! God bless! 😊💝🙏
I have watched most of Dr T’s videos and agree. People change and people can be elusive in what they’re like and what they really want. Often they don’t know themselves. 12 months may not be enough to find this out, so being wary all the time and ring fencing wealth is essential. Romantic films and literature have skewed reality . Thinking - that’s the thing at the top of the body, not the middle. Be a worthy man, strive for excellence and you can’t go far wrong.
Dr. O is pretty good. He has a strong perspective, and I find that it's mostly a balanced but reasonable left-brain (analytical) view. That is safer than throwing caution to the wind. Thank you Pea!
Another great video! This one reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from the movie Team America, by the creators of South Park. “It’s not about sex. It’s about trust.”
I think the idea of not loving 100% comes down to an investment. In reality you should be loving yourself first. You should always be number one. In this way, the love you give to someone else means you are not completely lost in what you are giving, you still have your own love, self respect, and self esteem. With these in place, if you get to a point with a woman where she is done and ready to leave, you don't completely fall apart. You can be upset, you can want to keep the relationship, but you aren't ready to just end things because she left you. I agree that it is pretty hard to explain and likely even more difficult to put into words but I completely understand what he is trying to convey here and I totally understand the Filipino saying as well. Women live in their feelings most of the time which is why things can change in the blink of an eye and why breakups are initiated by the woman almost 80% of the time. As a man, if you are 100% in love and invested 100% with nothing left over for you, then when the eventual breakup happens, you will likely spend the next few weeks crying yourself to sleep. It is a bad way to go.
I took the "all in" analogy as making sure not to love unconditionally, like you would a child or pet. If you love unconditionally, you may not be able to keep your eyes open in the relationship.
Dr. Taraban is brilliant. I find you and he compliment each other with practical insights and advice. I think you would find it worthwhile to check out his other videos. Most of them are amazing.
