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Part II to Quitting Maladaptive Daydreaming is here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-mhN20hyJT_A.htmlsi=oNWnGTDF3COpjurR Guided EFT for Maladaptive Daydreaming: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-bX6Uj0ILq3g.htmlsi=CP53kCZLk1GI_FhK 30-day meditation for Maladaptive daydreaming: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-8pwcCwAyPpk.htmlsi=sLZ0jnng9SE5OwMX Listener Write In #1 Maladaptive Daydreaming & Shame: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ZBmUMb1CqtM.htmlsi=JtCGvoZ-RrWhSy0E Maladaptive daydreaming playlist: ru-vid.com/group/PLHlHxeERjH5qxfAXpjRk8paog20zWJvis&si=1xeevbpUOd2VgN4K
Normally I pace around my room and listen to music while daydreaming but I still end up integrating my daydream characters into other real life tasks, even if daydreaming wasnt the initial plan. Like when i'm cooking a meal by myself or even just watching netflix, i'll imagine the characters doing the thing with me and whenever I try to just do stuff and be present in reality I just feel bored and like im in a void. Its so annoying 😂
i used to pace then i stopped as i got older and now i just stare at this photo album, listen to music, and do weird movements. it's so sad to me and i hate being this way. i hear it's linked to trauma but idc if my situation is traumatic bc i kinda deny it. i grew up with my sick mom who was also abusive and we were in and out of foster care bc of that. i took care of her until i was 12 bc she passed, after i got back from foster care. the man she married whom, i won't call my stepfather, became verbally abusive after she passed and put me out when i was 13. I was lucky to have my eldest brother bc he took me and got legal custody of me. now i've been MDing since but even when i was a kid i was always stuck in my head bc i couldn't watch tv i just had the four walls in my room and my books. i'd watch the kids play from my window and pretend i'm out there. i guess it stems from all that but i don't wanna accept it ig.
@@christianaakinrinbowun8756 ive gone through the same cycles and its very very frustrating and demoralizing :( I hope things will improve for you one day
If you are feeling dismotivated there is hope to overcoming this vice.I started maladaptive daydreaming when i was 12/13 and now im almost 17. I now realize how much it affected my life, making me feel worthless, making me go into bad habits, and all the bad things that were happening in my life were because of that really. When i first realized what md was and how it ruined my life was three months ago. I would spend i think ab three hours of my daily life daydreaming, whether it was during my school classes, my free time or even my ballet classes. The day that i really panicked was when i had spent ab the whole chemestry class(40 min) daydreaming. And then i made a decision to stop. Three months later i can´t even imagine how i could spend so many time in my head. Md is, still, a battle that i have daily, however sometimes i spend a whole day without even having the urge to do it, or when it comes i say no we´re not doing that. In the worst cases when i step into md(like today, that´s why i searched this video) it´s only ab ten minutes. Ten minutes is still a lot for non maladaptive daydreamers but for me, even though im teally disappointed at myself for falling into md again, is a huge victory that my worse is ten minutes.
The pandemic has made it so much worse for me. Also finding out I'm autistic makes sense of my struggles to make and keep friends, and being lonely and isolated I use daydreaming to not get overwhelmed by the depressing reality of being alone.
The isolation of the pandemic has certainly led to many social and emotional consequences. Have you found that with vaccinations and the decrease of cases that you’ve been able to be around people more? Are there any tools you can use that may ease your social struggles with autism? I’m glad you found answers regarding the autism diagnosis. Context can definitely ease / erase self-blame, and it can give you new ways of discovering how to be from the place that you are and not where society expects you to be ❤️
@@thehealthywriter I'll be getting back into therapy which helps, besides that getting a customer facing job is good practice. Thanks for the kind words.
I suffered from maladaptive daydreaming ever since i was 8 , which has harmed me later very much mentally and caused me powerful and intense depressions through the years , thankfully i am now 17 and i managed to quit intense daydreaming , i started building good habits and disposing of bad ones , replaced meditation with praying , improved cold resistance, and now i am fine! , After all i managed to study very well after i got rid of this plague , i am grateful for you
I've struggled with MD since I could talk. I believe my daydreams started by loneliness, and playing with dolls. I used to have a magical fantasy, but now my daydreams surround real life and people. My daydreams are usually about future conversations and events, and most of the time they're correct. Which can be helpful as I also have social anxiety; but I daydream for hours upon hours every day. I daydream while in school, while doing homework, even in the middle of conversations. Sometimes I leave people on read or don't text back so I can daydream. Its exhausting, and I feel guilty for it. It doesn't give me any relief or pleasure. I just feel as if I'm constantly in a daydream and I'm so out of tune with real life. Thank you for this video, I felt very seen and I learned a lot about MD that I didn't know before. P.S. Your voice is so calming, and your eyes are very pretty :) You look very similar to Natalia Dyer!
Aww Yoshi, I definitely for you and with you. And thanks for the compliments. Very sweet of you. Do you know much about dissociation? That’s essentially what’s happening with MD. Have you found any ways to ground yourself? I have a video on my channel about five ways of stopping a panic attack fast. Some of those techniques might help you ground yourself. A technique I find helpful when I have dissociated in the past is naming objects around me. Door, window, floor, feet, hands, bed, and so on. Basically, anything to ground yourself in the present. And definitely try the techniques in this video (I have a second video on this as well). There’s a LOT of things you can do to curb this habit. Treating the social anxiety with a professional therapist might be another method to try! Especially, if MD is a coping mechanism for that social anxiety. Wishing you the best
I'm 26 and I've been lost in my head for over a decade to cope with loneliness. I know I've repressed my trauma. Trying to escape these so I can focus on life.
Hi Yuki! I hear you. Do you have a therapist or an ability to get one who may be able to help heal your trauma? Do you have any good friends you can spend time with to ease your loneliness?
The first time I remember my daydreaming getting out of control I was around 15-16. It was at it's worst when I was between 19-24, when i would literally walk for hours lost in my head, usually super late at night because I had severe social phobia and didn't want people to see me. What made me realize how bad it was was when I'd started walking around 2am and completely checked out until around 11am when someone who had passed me earlier stopped to make sure I was okay. Im 30 now and It's naturally decreased as my mental health health has improved, but i still struggle with it pretty badly. I cant walk or listen to music without my mind drifting. The problem is I don't want to live in the present, the fact that I have to live at all physically hurts sometimes, and I honestly think I genuinely greive when I have to pull myself out of my head. I've tried to bring it up to a couple of different therapists, but they always mark it off as "Oh walking and music! Healthy coping mechanisms!" no matter how much i try to explain. I need to do something but for medication, SSRIs affect me very negatively. I feel completely insane. Especially because my daydreams arent even always positive. A lot of the time theyre genuinely distressing and have caused me to have panic attacks. Which I've never seen anyone else talk about. I'm sorry for getting depressing, I honestly just needed to vent 😅
Hey Amber! First off, congrats on learning how to decrease the maladaptive daydreaming. That sounds very tough not being able to be adequately heard by those therapists. Are you still seeing a therapist? Maybe you could try again by sending them an article about maladaptive daydreaming or even this video to provide more insight into what you go through when you get caught in a daydreaming cycle. Have you been able to find things that provide more meaning in your life and make you want to live more in the present?
It's really taking huge chunks out of my life. my career is slipping through my fingers as we speak. It's been a coping mechanism for me since 2016, which I just realized a few months ago cause I didn't even know this was a thing and thought everyone else has this. I'm 18 and I don't want this to be my life. It has hindered my language development skills too. I've been meditating for months and it has helped me pull out on time. But what do I do when I don't wanna pull out of those dreams? Cause those dreams are always my ideal self and it feels really damn good
Hey Vander! I'd like to point out some really good parts of your comment: 1) You're eighteen. You're very young still. I don't know about your career, but as someone who struggled with career as well at different points in my life, I will say that it does get better if you can figure out what works for you and what doesn't. 2) You recognize a desire to change 3) It's awesome you know this. And it's awesome that you understand the benefits of an unwanted habit. What are ways that you can bring your ideal self to your life instead of daydreaming? What does your ideal self do that you can do? If they are at a certain career point or in a certain relationship, what steps can you take in real life to bring yourself closer to those things? (As a PS: Congrats on meditating for months. You are already seeing improvements by taking action, and that's really heartening)!
@@thehealthywriter thanks, can say april has been really good for me, Ive been working on my self esteem and confidence which has reduced my MD by a lot. I feel a lot more safe in reality than I used to. And yea I aligned my ideal self to a greek philosopher called Cato which keeps me in check of the activities I pursue, whether they help me achieve or at least get one step closer to being my ideal self.
@@vandermonke4178 those are amazing strides to make. Congratulations! That’s such a cool idea, focusing ob a philosopher you admire to keep your values aligned with your reality. Sounds like you’re making beautiful use of your imaginative gifts. Thank you for this update. Nice to see what changes can be made in only two months!
This video is bring back memories as a young child when I would be in my room, expected to be napping, but instead I would sit in my bed, face the headboard and talk to nobody...I would pretend I was giving some sort of presentation about things in my room. It's normal for kids to have imaginations and play with imaginary friends...but this was very different. A big thing is the fact that I did this privately, whereas imaginative play was very out in the open. I'm realizing now that I dont remember a time where I didn't do maladaptive daydreaming. I'm a big pacer and whisperer which my husband has caught me doing and was super embarrassing 😅🤦♀️ and I often gesture as well. It can be both therapeutic and disruptive, depending on what is going on in my life and my emotional response to the stressor. When I have more anxiety it's worse. When I have plain, simple anger it's therapeutic. I also just love doing it as I'm laying in bed waiting to fall asleep.
Yes! It is definitely normal for kids to do this. I think the level of envelopment matters, and also whether or not it becomes a problematic behavior. As a child, it might not have been maladaptive at that point because presumably you had more time to play pretend presentations, but as an adult, it might be more intrusive. Thank you for sharing your experience! Hope this video may be able to offer you some relief. If it’s coming up more for you in times of stress, I wonder at what other stress management or self-soothing techniques you might be able to introduce into your life to help ❤️
I’m only ten, and I’ve been doing this my whole life its become an addiction. It was especially bad last year. I wasn’t happy with the boring reality so i created this imaginary world with everything that i wanted, and daydreaming was my favorite thing to do because I didn’t have to think of reality. I would daydream for hours and hours, to the point where i get too carried away and I’m not able to pay attention to what people are saying, and my grades were slowly dropping and getting worse and worse. The daydreaming is not as bad now, but i still daydream A LOT, and If i were to stop, I’d rather stop now while i can. Thanks for this video, it helped a lot!
Hi Tukata! As you’ve discovered, daydreaming can be a really beautiful activity! It’s good to recognize when an enjoyable activity takes up more time than you want it to, so I’m happy you found this video. Do you like to read fiction? That might be a nice way to step into imaginary worlds, improve your concentration, and help your studies!
Aww Mariam, I know it's tough. I think the first step is to believe in yourself, then take baby steps. Measure how much time you spend on MDD from day to day, and see if you can cut down on that time. It's not about perfection. It's just about taking back the power to manage your life the way you want to. Small steps can make a big difference. I think one of the best methods is to constantly ground yourself in the present. You can find some grounding exercises in my video "Five Ways to Stop a Panic Attack Fast." These are great ways to bring yourself back to the present. In both a panic attack and MDD, there's dissociation, so it makes sense that techniques for one can be beneficial for the other. I believe in you! Baby steps!
00:28 - What Is Maladaptive Daydreaming? 01:35 - How To Know If You're A Maladaptive Daydreamer? 03:25 - How To Escape Maladaptive Dreaming When It Becomes Problematic? 1. Identify And Reduce Triggers 03:33 2. Treat The Trauma 04:49 3. Talk To Yourself 05:53 4. Switch To Analytic Action 07:27 5. Redirection 08:46 6. Self Narrate 09:53 7. Track Your Time 10:43 8. Talk To Your Doctor 12:32
I think the only reason my brain let me to see this video till the end without dropping me out in dreaming is the fact that you are extremely pretty! 😇
I just wish that you are going to see that comment. Maybe you can't believe it, but you helped me a lot in just one video. I think I'm a maladaptive daydreamer, and things got worse when I started losing some of my memories because I was too stuck in my head. But you gave me a big hope that I could control it. Your energy, your voice, and the way you talk are just so great to be true. Please don't change it and continue doing this type of videos. Thank you so much. Take good care of yourself 🥰🤍.
Hi Herma! I see you, I hear you, and I’m so glad this video helped you. Thank you for the sweet words. There is a part II of this video that you can check out if you want more tips plus EFT for maladaptive daydreaming on my channel. I recommend being kind to yourself and taking it moment by moment. It takes time to develop unhealthy mechanisms, and it takes time to replace them. Appreciate the process along the way! Wishing you a journey full of discovery and growth ❤️
I tried to stop maladaptive daydreaming once, but I had one bad day and decided that reality was too much to handle then went back to daydreaming. I think I'll be able to stop, though
You can always start slow with half a day or some hours. It may also be a good idea to make a list of things you can do besides MD for comfort when you’re having a bad day ❤️
Just found about Maladaptive daydreaming, and I feel ashamed of myself. I started noticing how extreme the scenarios in my head are so I've been searching for something to help me quit and I think that's the thing I've been searching for. I pace around my house, laugh, cry, make facial expressions without noticing while daydreaming and it goes on for HOURS. Hell, I think I've wasted my life daydreaming about things that I know aren't real. It's probaby because of my constant feeling of guilt and lonliness ;I need to stop this daydreaming before it destroys me lol.
Hi! Glad you found this video. I think shame is a thing that comes up for people with most addictive habits. We want to have self-efficacy and feel in control of ourselves, and when we struggle with that, it's natural to feel "bad" about it, but I hope as you work through this maladaptive habit that you can be kind to yourself. It's really okay!!! The important thing is that you're here, you have information about how to proceed to mitigate the habit, anddddd it sounds like you know exactly which emotions are leading to an increase in the habit. Have you considered therapy/do you have access to a therapist? Can you spend more time with others and push yourself to meet new people to decrease the loneliness? Can you get out of the house more, so you don't have an "easy" environment to give into the habit? By committing to actions that will naturally decrease the habit, you'll start reclaiming your life again!
thank you so much for this, originally it was a safe space i could get to wherever i was and whatever im doing but now it’s getting in the way of me doing more in life
I think talking aloud saying “you’re imagining talking to someone you only spoke to a handful of times 6 years ago and imagining an entire discourse, this isn’t fair to you or the person and not a reflection of reality”. The turning off the empathy is an interesting idea. I’m an artist and I think my daydreams get worse when I’m “in my feelings”. I need to find that analytical switch.
The analytical switch can definitely help. I was feeling very distracted and a little dysregulated a couple weeks ago, and I started practicing some basic French with a couple RU-vid videos, and in no time I was more grounded and present. Brains are wild.
Gotchya. In that case, that technique will not work for you as you've identified that it's an aspect of the challenge. So, in that case, try the other techniques. All of us have individualized needs and what works for one person isn't necessarily going to work for another. Identify the systems that work for you and forget the rest if they're not helpful!
thank you for sharing. MD is like the weed to me... any time I feel depressed my mind would automatically start to weave those happy plot fantasy life and I would immerse myself in them. always feel relieved when it happens, but after that the worse feeling often occurs cuz I know im just using fantasy to escape reality.The worst part is that while many people daydream about themselves playing different roles, I am constantly imagining other people's lives. ridiculously I don't have myself in my md, totally suffering or happy for other people. tried to quit it but it's too addictive, currently Im using a method to record my daydreams on phone/notebook as soon as it appears and then read out loud when I m alone, somehow it helps a bit
Hi Yuchan! Thanks for the comment. It sounds like you've identified MD as a self-soothing behavior. It's so normal as humans to strive to self-soothe. It's very interesting that you've noticed you replace yourself within your daydreams. I am not a psychologist, so take this as you wish, but it does make me wonder if there are parts of yourself that you're rejecting by separating from yourself within your daydreams. I think it's more normal than it's talked about to reject aspects of ourselves. I hope you know that you are entirely lovable and wonderful as you are and still see that within that love and wonder, there's room for growth. I think it can be helpful to practice radical self-love and acceptance when you recognize that you're producing habits that are in contrast to that. Have you tried EFT for Maladaptive daydreaming? (I do have a video for it). Or even EFT for recurring emotions. Brad Yates who is also on RU-vid has just about every emotion you can think of, and when I feel overwhelmed by a particular emotion, I like to visit his channel as a way to process that emotion as opposed to revisiting my own self-soothing but less wanted behaviors. That's very cool about recording your daydreams as they happen. I might try that! It sounds like a very creative and engaging exercise. Thank you so much for sharing
@@thehealthywriter Ohhhh this is a very heart warming reply from you and very thoughtful, too. thank you for being so kind and sharing the knowledge🥰. since you ve pointed out, yes I definitely agree on there’s something about self love &acceptance I can put effort into and work on. I'll check out the channel you recommend and the eft techniques(or its a treatment? Anyway I ll figure out) wish we can all become better ❤️Thank you again for taking the time and energy to make such helpful videos on MD and sharing thoughts with everyone
@@surenaricha More techniques than treatment. It stands for Emotional Freedom Tapping! Yes, it's all about growth and trying our best. Glad you found this video helpful. I will likely be making more MD vids in the future, so stay tuned
Thanks for the suggestions, i hope i quit from this imaginary world full of thoughts that consume my half of the day everytime so I can focus on the present 🙂🙂
well, it is not only you who is going throw this I am there too, will do it , might be it will be slow but definitely we can do it...well, THANK YOU for this video..I know if I will share about md with my family surely all will think I am crazy(In a way they are right, like it seems we are exaggrating, cause they aren't suffering from so..) The saddest thing is I started this by my own but its fine I wasn't aware of ..still people like us who can't share this need people like you.. thanks
You're welcome! You are not crazy, and you don't have to share what you're going through with anyone you don't think will be supportive. Just remember that it was a habit that once helped you, and since you began it, you can stop it. I hope you can find benefits from some of these methods. I also have a part II and a video for EFT for Maladaptive Daydreaming, so check out those for more ideas/ways to help you stop. Take care
I'm addicted to watching drama series..... The characters that I like I add them to my daydreams.... My daydreaming starts ever since I wake up in the morning.......I have a whole plot of story in my mind...the plot of daydream changes according to the series that I watch.............Even if I try I just can't stop daydreaming I even Procastinate my work for watching dramas and Once I'm sitting somewhere alone I'll start to daydream (when I don't have phone) I'm so sick of myself...........why can't I focus on my work and study instead of watching dramas and daydreaming...
Today i woke up at 10 am and got out of bed at 4:50pm, and i only got up because ive got a tution at 5 and an alarm went off. Before the holidays i was able to sleep and wake up at right times because i knew i had to, its now taking me hours to sleep and hours to wake up. This is crazy.
Sometimes when you go through a busy or stressful period, your body needs more rest after! It might be your body trying to offer you some extra restoration. If it is ongoing and beginning to interrupt your daily life, can be worth going to the doctor to make sure you’re not deficient in some nutrients and/or that you’re properly breathing at night ❤️
thank you so much. this was really helpful even though I just have started to observe patterns being formed , mainly because of the way I'm left alone most of the time but this video comforted me a lot especially when you laughed it out like u were a friend of mine who totally understands me, I absolutely loved the way u put it forward and it just made it much easier for me to accept how I can actually get through this.
Aww I’m so glad! You are definitely not alone in this, and there are many ways to mitigate this habit (there’s also a Part II to this on my channel). It’s been such an isolating time worldwide, so I definitely know how you feel. If you can start to find healthy communities around you, that can definitely help
i’ve been maladaptive daydreaming since 2019, i managed to stop doing it at the beginning of this year but after my mother went into hospital in february and then passed in april, it really came back to help me cope with the situation. i’m currently trying my best to stop doing it, thank you for the video!
Aww I’m so sorry about your mother. Returning to a coping mechanism in a time of grief makes sense. My good habits can become more compromised during times of stress as well. That’s normal. Hope you can find the space for a lot of compassion for yourself and room to grieve. Journaling and finding ways to still feel connected to your mum may help. Sending you a lot of love and a big virtual hug ❤️
I started excessively daydreaming when i was about 11 or 12 and as time went on it just got worse and worse. I'm 23 now and i've been able to ease up on it a bit, but it's still at a point where it gets in the way of me working or socializing. I noticed it starting to be a real problem when i would get angry/irritated after not being able to do it for a long time, and only when i could fully immerse myself back into the daydream, would I calm down. I really don't know if i could ever be capable of stopping it completely because it does bring me some joy in my life. I know daydreaming is a pretty common thing and it definitely helps me create stories and characters for my projects, but I don't know how to keep myself from falling off the edge when I do it.
Hi McKayla! It sounds like the daydreaming has been a main source of self-soothing for you? Do you have other means of doing that especially when you get angry or irritated? Specific types of exercise like running or kickboxing where you can exert bursts of energy could probably be helpful. Meditation and breathwork also come to mind. I think it’s great that you recognize the benefits of the daydreaming and can also recognize a desire to have a bit more balance when it comes to it.
@@thehealthywriter For sure it has, it's always been something that's made me happy and as i've gotten older i've started recognizing the harm it can do. Thankfully a few years ago I was able to let go of some of it, so the irritation doesn't come on as easily anymore. Finding a good replacement for it is a real good idea, i'll have to try out a few things and see what sticks! At least blocking out some of my day focusing on other things could help a lot.
@@mckaylakrygier6956 Good for you! Brad Yates has a great RU-vid channel that has all Emotional Freedom Tapping videos. I have some on my channel, but his is extensive, and he has every emotion you can think of. I find it a really beneficial tool to process emotions. Thanks for sharing your experience with MD!
I'm almost 22 and i still do this, i have a bad life and kind of stressful, my girlfriend also left me. I do daydreaming to escape all of these, it makes me happy when i visualized things inside my head but then it makes me sad realizing I'm not going anywhere. I can't live like this i achieve nothing, my younger self is not proud of me now. I should've get rid of it and focus on myself.
Hey NYC, I’m sorry to hear that life isn’t going the way you’d like. You’re still very young though. You have a lot of life left in you! Instead of focusing on what you didn’t do before, try to be kind with yourself. We all have moments where we wish we had made a different decision, but we can only start where we are in this moment. The important thing: you know what you want to do. And right now is the moment to do it. You found my video, and now you have different ways of activating positive change. You can do this!
I want to stop but I don't want to leave the people in my daydreams. It's a continuous storyline and I'm scared if I stop I won't see the people the same way; they are people that exist, could possibly say my idols - people I look up to and daydreaming makes me feel connected to them in some way. I love the people I have created or reimagined and I don't want to leave, especially when they're all I've known for the last 8 years. I've tried to talk to counsellors at college and therapists, all I've ever been told was that it was a good thing because it was an escape for me, nobody truly helps me. its taking over my life, I don't leave the house or talk to people or do anything at all except eat, sleep and go to the toilet. I feel lazy and useless but I don't know how to stop. I daydream every second of everyday, life is getting unbearable. like I said, I want help but at the same time I don't want it to end. I don't know who I am without the daydreams, all I know is the girl I created in my head to play out a life that I should be living.
Hi Chloe, I’m so sorry it’s become so intense for you and that your previous counselors and therapists have been dismissive. I wonder if you could find a therapist particularly for this who wasn’t dismissive and maybe exhibit just how much this is negatively impacting you with a list of all the ways it’s harmful? I also wonder if you could create that list for yourself AND list all the benefits of maladaptive daydreaming, and look at the lists side by side. I also thought of… have you seen my video on Fear-Setting? What if you tried fear-setting for this fear-the fear of quitting maladaptive daydreaming. I would also say in a general way: start small. You’ve been doing this habit for eight years. It’ll take some adjustments to get out of it. Please be kind to yourself. On my channel I have Emotional freedom tapping for maladaptive daydreaming you can do (which is a good way of calming your body and practicing self-acceptance). You’re not alone, and you can find ways out of this! Be as kind as possible to yourself as you try out methods to see which ones work for you and which don’t ❤️
@@thehealthywriter thank you for replying! I’m currently looking for a therapist to help but it’s hard when when mental health system here is awful. I’ll watch the videos you recommend! I really hope they help, thank you :)
@@chloe-zh2ux Aww I know how hard it can be to find the right fit. Keep going! You'll find the right therapist for you. I hope they help too :). I have about four videos on MD. There's a part II to this one, and I'll be posting more in the future, so feel free to subscribe if you want to stay up to date with those releases
My mom traumatized me so bad I would escape the situation by imagining dating a celebrity. It never stopped. Recently, I keep daydreaming about a non-fictional husband and mean mother in law when my real family is great.
Thank you so much for your wonderful and helpful video! 🧡 Your suggestion about narrating one's actions is super helpful. I'll have to try writing the times down of things - this seems like a great way to identify triggers. Thanks again😊
You're welcome! I'm glad you could find the tips beneficial. The time tracking is super helpful to counter procrastination as well haha You're welcome again!
Bruh I’m not ready to give up my daydreams lmfao Like I’ll legit have fantasies of me being a mom or me being another race, or what if I was in this family or that family or whatever, others I would imagine making up a story to imagine what is going on or to somehow relate myself to what’s happening in the story. I don’t honestly want to give that up because it’s what I’ve relied on for survival for so long. I’ve also fantasized me having friends and whatever because I legit hate reality that much. I don’t know what to do.
Hey Snowdrop, totally reasonable. I think giving up daydreaming cold turkey without replacements can be hard, impossible, and maybe even damaging in some cases if it leads to unhealthier alternatives. If you do want to start giving it up, I recommend therapy and also to start building a community around yourself. I don't know where you are in the world, so I don't know about the pandemic in your country and what restrictions may apply, but since your daydreams revolve mostly around socialization-I would wager that's one of the main needs not currently being addressed in your life. So, what small things can you do to see more humans? Starting with weekly therapy can be helpful if it's available to you. Volunteering and meeting other humans can be helpful. You could also turn to activities that might help you connect with others and yourself more-like creative outlets that are tangible, like painting or writing poetry. I know how tough it is. At the end of the day, we all have to decide what we need. Changing any kind of behavior or habit is a process, so it's okay if the first step is thinking that's not something you can feasibly do. Maybe the second step is not necessarily stopping immediately but just adding more worthwhile social events to your life.
I often put off stuff in order to daydream (ex: I have to read this book for a class, but I keep putting it off because it means I would have to focus on the book and not my daydreams)
Ooh, yes, procrastination. In that case you may try some actions to counter the procrastination. On my channel, I have a video for focus (the pomodoro method) and a pomodoro timer that can be beneficial for being productive. Also, the time tracking exercise I mention in this video can also be very effective against procrastination because you're writing down exactly what you're doing as you're doing it, so it's more task-oriented. I'll try to link to the videos I am alluding to below.
The video describing the pomdoro method: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-JaUZkiowO3Y.html And the timer: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-LEhOuVPS2bc.html
It's like I have my own world and this world that is in my mind is very beautiful that i can't leave it but i want to leave this fake world and want to make my life good
haha hello fellow people i have my own ways to cope with it and lemme share a way that works for me so basically i write down all my daydreams and stories that are in my head its a really good way to let your creative juices flow
I have never read anything more real😢 I failed two courses last semester. For the first time. I'm to resit them, if I don't, I'll have to repeat the whole year. You won't believe how this has still not helped me focus. Exams for this semester are coming up, and I can't bring myself to read. I spend 6-7hours on one page. I use earphones when walking on the road so whenever I speak people would think I'm on a call instead. I'm dying you guys My life is non-existent already. The realest part exists only in my head I'm so tired.
Hey Top, So sorry to hear of your distress with this. What have you tried? What has helped so far? Have you identified triggers? Where do you normally try to study? Do you exercise? What kind of exercises do you do? Do you have underlying conditions? What is your diet like? How is your sleep?
@@thehealthywriter My case might be more complicated too cos I'm even currently trying to leave the religion I grew up in. So I'm easily triggered by words people around me(I'm literally surrounded by people from same religion) They casually say things that I now find so appalling, then I will feel real hurt in my chest region. Real hurt. Then I'll start my trusted form of escapism, cos if I don't I still won't be able to come out of it. I don't know how to explain how critical mine is. I feel done.
@@thehealthywriter and what's painful is my sisters who are my best friends don't know how it's something they also believe in, that tortures me like this. They even tell me to pray the way we're taught lol. How do I explain that okay, that part can't even happen. But now, another problem is, because it's a form of escapism that has worked for me for long, I don't even need to hear about something triggering to get there. Now, I can't bring myself to even study cos It's just come to live in my head. I don't exercise. I've tried meditation even, but I can't get 3mins with a blank mind. It's crazy. My diet is not bad for what I can afford as a college student anyway, so I don't think that's a problem. For my sleep habits, I even sleep a bit too much for a pharmacist student. I really shouldn't sleep this much. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense to you too🙏🏼
@@toptv1049 Hello! I see you have two comments as response, so I'll start by answering this one. First of all, that sounds like a challenging environment for your goal of leaving the religion. Do you have people are supportive of you leaving who you can lean on during this time? Have you been able to process the grief around this religion and these traumas? One of the things with OCD is that compulsions as far as I can see are about avoidance; avoiding some outcome (whether rational or not) and/or avoiding thinking about the potential for that outcome or some feeling related to that. Maladaptive Daydreaming as a form of escapism as you highlighted can also be a form of avoidance. It makes sense to have avoidant tendencies if you grew up in a religious environment where you felt like you couldn't properly express yourself or live in a way that felt true to you. Now that you're in the process of getting away from that, you might be leaning on those old protective mechanisms (maladaptive daydreaming as a form of avoidance). The Poet Robert Frost said "The best way out is always through." Instead of avoiding your feelings around the religion and the religious triggers, can you give yourself space to sit with them? Maybe with a trusted therapist, in a meditation, while taking a meditative walk where you focus on some of those feelings an just acknowledge them. If specific feelings come up, emotional freedom tapping is available. I have several videos on my channel for that. Brad Yates on RU-vid has even more of them that can be lovely for guided sessions. Yoga is a wonderful way of processing trauma and increases mindfulness-becoming more in tune with your breath allows you to become more in tune with your body and feelings (it's the opposite of escapism). Maladaptive daydreaming was once prior to becoming maladaptive a wonderful resource at a time when you couldn't escape the religion (maybe you were too young, didn't have certain resources that made it possible, in denial, or your feelings changed etc), but now as you're finding your way back into yourself you can find other ways to manage your emotions and essentially make the maladaptive daydreaming unnecessary. Are any of those suggestions thing you might be able to start implementing?
@@toptv1049 It sounds like your sisters can't really understand where you're coming from. I know that must be hurtful, and I'm sorry for that. We all want to be understood, and unfortunately, we can't always get that understanding even from people we love and who love us. It might be worth finding someone else like a therapist, etc who can be more understanding, so you have someone in your corner. We can't always choose who's in our corner. We can invite people, but they have to be the ones to step up for us when we invite them. Sometimes that's not possible. Meditation isn't really about having a blank mind. It's more about allowing thoughts or feelings to present themselves and then for those thoughts and feelings to be acknowledged so you can move on from them. Tuning into the breath and being compassionate with yourself and recognizing that there's no wrong way to meditate. Guided meditation can be helpful if you're really struggling. I tend to prefer guided. Look for places where you can find calm. Incorporate exercise. It's really important when it comes to physical health, mental health, and concentration. I've been in a more stressful era of my life this past month, and I took a walk the other day. When I came home, I was like "Oh wow. Why do I feel so good?" And then I realized: oh, I dedicated time to physically take care of my body. So, if you want my advice: exercise (can start with five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes, and work your way up, whatever small amount your mind will say 'okay that's easy enough', guided meditation, EFT for whatever emotions come up, therapist or a trusted person to support you through your current challenges (maybe someone who already successfully left your religion, so they'll have a deeper understanding of the processes that you're going through). If you're sleeping a lot, then your body might just need that. I say: good for you for getting that sleep. Some people need nine hours. Some people can function on five. Most people can't function well without sufficient sleep, and sleep deprivation is really bad for the mind and concentration, so I'm glad that you are getting a sufficient amount.
I'm a heavy but happy day dreamer. Just so you know, i started a keto regime 2 weeks ago, and, unfortunately for me as i'm a happy daydreamer, it totally stopped my day dreamings, to the point I'm having difficulty to fall in sleep as daydreaming was always part of my routine. My spirit always stays in the present, no more mind wandering too. If you are an unhappy daydreamer, i suggest you to give it a try.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Diet can greatly improve focus and mental health aspects. I don’t know much about the keto diet, but there is a RU-vid channel Living with Schizophrenia, and she’s been on a keto diet to see how that may benefit her. Sorry to hear your sleep has been impacted. Weighted blankets can help with sleep and relaxing breathwork (I like alternate nostril breathing and box breathing), and humming can be a calming trick as well before bed. Maybe something like journaling or reading a physical book before sleep could also help to re-engage in a different creative way. ❤️
The problem is that we're not aware of exactly at which moment we slip into it, otherwise we could cut it out easily. All these techniques work if you are aware of it.
Totally. Awareness is key for amending any habit, and awareness or increasing awareness is like a muscle, the more aware you become-the more aware you can become. From this list one of the most useful techniques to increase your awareness would probably be the time tracking because if you're actively writing down what you're doing, then you know as soon as you stop writing what you're doing, then you've gotten distracted somehow with Maladaptive daydreaming or some other activity.
This is SO PROFOUNDLY helpful. I’ve been doing this for decades. I’m curious how it relates to OCD and Limerence as well. It’s a terrible cocktail of maladaptive behaviors.
Hey Curtis! I'm so glad you found this helpful! And totally, I think they're all very related, and I wonder about ADHD in there as well. There's dissociation there, attention challenges, and obsessive thought cycles in MD, so to me, they seem part of the same family. At some point, I'd like to make a vid between OCD and MD. It's on my list! I've also thought about limerence in relation.
I liked the video very good one,as a medical student antidepressants are not given to treat maladaptive day dreaming but to inhibit the dopamine binding on its synaptic receptors to inhibit the chemical reactions making us feel good while day dreaming is linked with visual cortex ive been facing that stuff for 6+ years though there were ups and downs but i couldnt get rid of it songs are something that trigger my mind n i always imagine myself walking on streets as a super handsome boy with an extreme height of 6'9 (though im already 6'6 and handsome )and attracting many beautiful girls like its hilarious and stupid sometimes dreaming of achieving super grades in my med school n becoming such a personality that people n my friends would chase me but i know thas bad n has affected n destroyed my talent n intelligence always stressed bout it wish i could jump in my childhood when i was such a brilliant extraordinary student loved by my teachers with no day dreaming mind hah those days were awesome
It's hard being artist, and having MD since I was 8 because I was dealing with a lot during that time, I was trying to keep myself together, I would hide from my family because I rather not have them worry... I thought I was weird, I would drive away my friends because of it. My memory bank is full up with daydreams that I can't get out in my head because my brain will move on the next one. I can't decide on one thing and stick to it. My brain feels like it doesn't want me.. Silent helps my brain turn off, I can turn it off with other people as well... I don't know what to do everyone but my family has left
Hi Lily, that sounds very tough. Do you have access to mental health services where you are? Sometimes it's hard to pull apart things on our own, but I wonder if you might start benefiting by introducing more people into your life-and a therapist is a great place to start especially since you recognize unhealthy patterns in yourself. If you do end up going toward the therapeutic route, stay open to finding a therapist who is a good fit, who you connect with well. Not every therapist will be a good fit, but the ones who are can really help shift patterns
I daydream from wake to sleep, through all tasks, ‘people’ are ‘always there’ with me. I don’t remember not doing this. I’m constantly talking to myself silently, through cleaning, showering, watching TV, even reading will be broken up into saying something to ‘someone.’ It’s more a case of figuring out how to remember that these people simply are not there. Even when I’m with real people, for example, at work, I’m still daydreaming. I used to love it, but at 28, I just feel lost and frustrated that I can’t get over it.
Hi! I hear you. Do you have a therapist or able to see one? And have you found ways that can mitigate this? Have you been able to try any of the suggestions in this video? I think a lot of people start out enjoying the behavior and get to the point where the cons outweigh the benefits.
I noticed when I did theatre,gym,I was going out, I had my first relationship(turned out horrible) I didn't do it. Now I'm back where I started,I m miserable and do that more than ever
Hi Captain M! Makes sense. When there’s space in the day, our minds strive to fill it. Are you able to get back to the gym? Is theatre an option again? I’m sorry about your first relationship. Have you been able to process what happened at all?
Hey Not Lee, good job on identifying your triggers! If you're looking to decrease your daydreaming time, you could time your showers to keep the daydreaming in there short, play that song less, and start finding more activities that bring you joy!
The worst thing is that family, doctors and psychotherapist don't believe you... In my expererience nobody seem to believe that daydream can cause real harm. I am 23 , I struggle with this since I am 12 or something, maybe before ? I still manage to do the minimal to keep my life on track, but I have a very minimal existence and it never go away. Every time I am alone I speak to myself, imagining conversation with a character. Nothing had hurt my productivity and responsabilities more than that in my life. I have no idea what is the initial cause. I just don't know, exept for loneliness maybe...but I think it came from my own initiative at some point...?
Hi Gantilz, I'm so sorry that no one in your life is listening to you and your distress over MD. There are a lot of people who do understand (you can see many of them in the comments on this video), so you're not alone by any means. I think loneliness and isolation is a huge trigger for MD. Have you been able to use any of the techniques in this video or part II to help? Are there any co-conditions like PTSD, ADHD, or OCD that you experience that you could address with a therapist and be taken more seriously?
No matter what im doing i always imagine these characters doing it with me. Its so addictive and ill be at school and ill just pretend my friends are the characters.
After understanding my truma i quit porn. Now i have to deal with day dreaming addiction. It is kind of overwhelming . Is getting healthy dopamine through exercise,dance etc will help with this addiction. Thanks for making this wonderful video
I think dopamine from healthier sources can probably help ease any addiction, so I think that’s a great place to start! Congrats on moving on from one addiction. Best of luck with the MD
It's nice to see that through social networks, you can meet a completely outsider who can do a big thing with his words, advice. Be healthy and happy, as well as your family and friends sincerely
I have OCD, ASD, and _seemingly_ Maladaptive Daydreaming. I don't trust myself to know whether I do or not, especially because my OCD tricks me. So to ask directly, what is the difference between MD and a minor "normal" case of being in your own little world (emphasis on little). Let's put it this way: I do not let my imagination and daydreams interfere with my actions, tasks, and interactions with people. Nobody would be able to tell. One of the main reasons for my supposed MD is my thirst to be something special to my half-sister's family. I've always been jealous of her, and I don't have a paternal side, or a dad. That's when the potential MD "games" started. My role is the hero/protagonist in my fictional story, that comes from their point of view (it's a hypothetical _"if they saw me as this"_ game. It's complicated. Is there anyone who understands so far?
I have a 100 problems in life. I am not able to fix any. I dont want to face them and when i have to choice i distract myself with this. I am stuck in some loop. I am done here
Hello! I understand. It can be really hard to get anything done when you’re overwhelmed and you don’t have the motivation. What’s something you enjoy besides daydreaming?
Thanks for your response! I appreciate it. Actually there are a lots of things that interest me like reading and meditation, i do these tasks almost everyday but that does not really help in overcoming daydreaming, i am supposed to do my studies (i am a JEE aspirant) but like i said, i have got a few more problems that just daydreaming. Two things that really helped me overcome it temporary is that i stopped pacing around and listening to music that triggers it. And also i started to talk to myself outloud in my mother tongue (which i never did before). Thanks for replying, your input through videos was really helpful
@@atharvashelar9804bro don't listen to music if you are jee aspirant believe me music is the biggest trigger and walking while music adds upto it leave music completely you will reduce this
1:37 all the things listed I can relate to. i am fairly new to maladaptive daydreaming only really started researching it last year. i have been doing maladaptive daydreaming since i can remember (around 6 or 7) i am 18 now and I've been doing Mdaydreaming for a long time. usually, i pace around the kitchen or a hallway or in my room. often with music but not always. i rarely can daydream sitting down unless there is music. things that have helped me break the cycle is counting in Japanese in my head, i do this when walking or crossing the road. also writing down my daydreams. i can't really dream a daydream once i write it down. however, i usually end up changing the details of the dream which lets me continue the daydream. so just a quick fix. also narrating my actions is also really great to shut down the Daydreaming but i get a bit self-conscious doing it around others. really great video
The counting is a good one! I've done that in French or Dutch, and it helped in the past, or focusing on any kind of language studying (probably 'cause it's getting into those other parts of the brain). Nice on the writing them down. Thanks! There's a part two that you can check out if it's helpful, and I also have an EFT and meditation for maladaptive daydreaming on this channel
I have maladaptive daydreaming and ADHD . Can I stop it without meds My childhood was full of traumas so I developed this disease MD is decreasing slowly over year but I'm still switch out while studying due to adhd .
Hi Soumya! One important things to remember: This is not a disease. It's a disorder. Are you able to see a mental health professional to help process the trauma you endured? Getting to the root causes can be very helpful. I don't know too much about the medicated aspect (beyond what I mentioned in this video). Figuring out what your triggers are, limiting those triggers, and figuring out what might be behind the reason for this disorder can be extremely helpful toward curbing the habit. It takes awhile for a habit to form, and it takes awhile to correct a habit, so please be patient and kind with yourself! Have you been able to try any of the suggestions from this video?
Glad I came across this article about maladaptive daydreaming as I thought I was the only one... I have been maladaptive daydreaming since I was 5 years old and I am now in my early 30s. I have daydreamed in school, at work, and pretty much everywhere, but I daydream the most right before sleep. Although my daydreaming has evolved as I have grown and my priorities and tastes have changed, the premises remains the same. In these daydreams, I am a tall, good looking, smart & caring guy from a developed country and I am wealthy but not rich. With these daydreamed traits and features, my real life problems are nullified and I have good problems in my daydreams. And by good problems, I mean problems like pretty girls being infatuated with me and I don't know which one to choose or being so successful, that I don't know what to spend my money and time on. In these daydreams, the people I use are real life people and they have changed as I've aged and my tastes have changed. And to be honest, I hate my daydreaming as it hinders with my real life and the worst part is that I have this notion that in my next life, my daydreams will become my reality. I know it is a coping mechanism for me as I can't change my real life and I have to play the hand I am dealt. I also suffer from anxiety, OCD and depression. It has also led me to become bitter to the guys that are better than me, to the point where I want to end it all but I remind myself that I too would be an arrogant jerk if I were handsome and tall and rich. I've read that people that maladaptive daydream have vivid imaginations and are creative but it's a curse for me because I have severe depression once I come back to reality. But as I mentioned earlier, it is a slight relief to come across this maladaptive daydreaming term as I thought I was the only one...
I’m 12, I’ve not been diagnosed, but I jump on my bed, pace, rock back and fourth, and others for hours all day. I don’t have motivation to talk to anyone or to do anything, I have to do it. If I don’t I’m tired and unmotivated.
Hi Strawberry Bread! I'm so sorry you're going through it. That sounds really stressful. If you're tired and unmotivated. If I were you, I'd probably start trying to bring more joy and motivation outside of the maladaptive daydreaming. Do you feel upset or stressed before you do it? Do you have any trusted adults you can talk to about it or a therapist you can ask for? It might be helpful to have a supportive, kind adult on your side as you correct course. One thing I would emphasize, please don't be too hard on yourself. Take it one day at a time and celebrate small wins! Find activities you enjoy and times of quiet.
Corona made it more noticeable. I am disappointed from my country and government. Made it noticeable enough for me to start searching what was happening to me. Also I've spent a lot of time with some wise people, that was helpful for me to understand how we work as humans. But now, fantasies go for weeks. I remember 10 years ago it was worse. At least there's progress.
I think a lot of people experienced an uptick of this with the virus as well, so you're not alone. I think that was one of the disservices of many governments worldwide-that there wasn't better guidance for isolating into small communities rather than complete isolation. Humans are social creatures. We need that healthy connectivity. Sometimes when I feel frustrated about not being exactly where I want to be, I think about other times of life too, and it helps. Glad you've been able to recognize your own progress!
Hi Michelle! Glad you could find it helpful! Yes, I have a Part II of this in the works, and I'm thinking about trying to do one on the connection between OCD and MD (that's probably a little further out though because it requires more research). Feel free to subscribe and hit the notifications, so you can stay in tune for the next MD video :)
Hello! I saw your other comments. I’ll respond here. Do you have underlying mental health challenges underneath the daydreaming? Is it possible there’s untreated trauma (causing you to dissociate or daydream more)? Do you have OCD or ADHD? Maladaptive daydreaming is often tied with PTSD, OCD, and ADHD. Maybe one or all of these are present. Is it accessible for you to see a mental health professional who can help you? We all need support, and especially if you have these other things going on-treating the underlying causes can help mitigate MD. It takes awhile to form a habit, and it will take time to stop it, but look for signs of improvement. Try not to daydream for up to a minute at a time with breathwork or one of the other techniques. Our brains return to default settings, so if MD is your default, you have to start teaching your brain new defaults, and that takes time. Working with a mental health professional can help tremendously.
Hey Path Finder, I’m so sorry it’s become so intrusive for you. Have you considered seeing a therapist to try to work out strategies for how you can expand your social circle? ❤️
@@yakpesoko2448 I know. It definitely can be. I have a video on how to find a therapist that you can check out if you'd like. One of the things I mention in it is that there may be local institutions nearby you that offer free or lower costs for therapy. Some of these might be training institutions for newer therapists, or foundations dedicated to helping lower income people. I don't know about your finances, but it may be beneficial for you to do some Googling in your local area. You may be surprised how affordable it can be if you do some research. Hoping you can find something, Path Finder.
I am someone who could be considered a Maladaptive Daydreamer, due to the fact that most of my time each day is spent daydreaming and fantasizing, but, with all due respect, I don't really have a strong will to lessen it, since it I'm not very fond of reality, and daydreaming allows me to be able to escape the stuff I can't stand. you asked yourself "do you want to live in your head or in the present," and more often than not, I've preferred living in my head because there everything can be and is up to my rather obsessively high standards and I can control it more easily than real life...
Hey Adrubb! Thanks for sharing your experiences. If it’s not unwanted behavior on your part, or if you don’t find it negatively impacting your life in a way that you’d like to mitigate, then it’s really a matter of preference. If it’s continuing to help you cope with daily life in a way that doesn’t-by your standards-negatively impact your life, then it might still be an adaptive mechanism for you rather than a maladaptive one. I would say it may still be worthwhile diving into how you could align your life in ways that are as satisfying as your daydreams just to see what that might be like. Either way, it’s nice that you’re able to embrace the joys of daydreaming!
also, (and I know I can't speak for everyone) I was diagnosed at an early age with Asperger's' Syndrome, meaning that I am Autistic. this plus the fact I've never had stable, lifelong "real life" friends outside of every few years. this may have something to do with my frequent urge to fantasize, not that I'm complaining... (also, I'm an aspiring writer.)
@@LordZadrenoss that makes so much sense. You have an emotional need that you’re fulfilling via the daydreams, and you’re a person already open to creating fictional worlds. As a writer, I totally get it, and additionally with the pandemic, there’s an extra dose of loneliness in the world, so I think a lot of people are struggling socially.
1:15 😂 3 hours. Cute. Try 8 but go on...😢 1:44 hours check, automstic & addictive check, expression, conversations + acting out check, ehhh...kind of, I create the script but not the character sadly. Definitely check on recycling characters, and check on kept awake. Yep safely diagnosable (if they add it back in as a condition). 2:26 true but i can safely say im textbook extreme. Still than you for validating those who without all of these symptoms as sometimes it does get weirdly gate-keepy. 3:04 bc pacing is so important to mine i really wish that scale had more questions about movement for severity as well. Some of us simply stim on one end, on the other end i pace run & dance and in the middle some people just actually pace or some are totally still the whole time. But it was developed early and even if it was temporary it helped get it into the dsm. 3:38 sigh. Unfortunately ahead of you but hoping you got more. It's also not always simple & easily identifiable triggers. It's usually a combination of stress & some form of media though mundane rythmic tasks can also sometimes replace the media part such as showering or driving. For me it's every moment im not at work or actively speaking/typing to someone. Which often just makes me overshate & talk too much instead. Music is extremely common for all of us, probably bc it's a mix of complicated emotions, rhythm & media. 4:04 they are generally more encompassing when i am unsure how to go about solving a problem. Im usually scared, guilty & sad before relaxing immediately inside the daydream. Although yeah energetic often happens too & i have the extreme urge to daydream deeply & pace. 4:56 been working on that sense 6 years old but still valid & fair. Therapy tried check. Emdr? I don't think i know that one but im also not sure i heard correctly. Yoga tried check. Meditation tried check. Trauma release exercises tried check. Laughter? Elaborated on hopefully? Cause than both trigger and be caused by daydreaming but im not sure how it's used in this context. Dance definitely just makes me daydream. Cbt has been tried but i can't seem to find any approach that makes progress there either. Dbt is harder to find so technically haven't tried yet. Dietary changes helped briefly but only helped it happen a LITTLE less often like from 8 hours to 5 and moments of the day i could live through without a distraction. Community seems to both help and hurt but found w/research papers on reddit of all places. Don't really abuse substances in the 1st place nor use them more than occasionally (maybe a drink once within like 2 months). Positive affirmations tried until they started feeling like lies after a few days making it worse. Currently trying spitualisms with a little success so far. Somatic excerices? Surprisingly new word. I'll be looking that one up obviously. 6:01 tried SO MANY TIMES for years and still trying. 6:17 hmm...i like that though im worried my daydream self will argue i DO want to live in my head but that's not a question I've asked as instead i usually demand to myself to stop. 6:21 Ooh adding a laugh or phrasing it in a way that makes me laugh might help the argument part so ok. 6:55 hopefully that's where ive gone wrong as it definitely feels shameful. 7:36 I already do this & as a result find menial tasks fun however I unfortunately over annalyze & take too long to be helpful when i do. 8:08 that makes sense as i usually get triggerd by media when i strongly emphasize or sympathize with the character and attempt to fix their problems in my daydream. 8:40 in my experience only if that task is digital or extremely analytical. Doing laundry goes to daydream mode but organizing or creating spreadsheets go to analytical thinking and do help me focus. If i don't have to actively think about it , it still makes me drift off. 8:59 true. I think because dancing could be done w/out talking i dont think as much about dance routines & music is a trigger but it's easy not to daydream when i work on rehearsing and refining how i sing a song. 9:24 oooh...yeah no i usually think MULTIPLE thoughts at once unless I'm in analytical mode. Although when i type or speak it also turns it into one thought and i already get the idea as i sometimes narrate tasks to remember them. 9:46 ok fair but that's not really what my head does just my body & focus. My head hearing my thoughts in multiple voices does happen. But I do understand what you're saying. 11:17 actually i tried this really successfully for a while but unfortunately it often got thrown into chaos when things had to change and even when i tried i couldn't really return to it easily. It also typically takes me hours to make that timed list. 12:07 oh thats way better you do it AS these things happen? Definitely trying that. 12:36 ughhhhhhh!!!! So many doctors! I feel rehearsed at this point. 13:06 Wait it treats more than OCD!? Maybe i can actually get a prescription! 13:26 couldn't agree more. 15:16 this was awesome. Sadly retracking time stamps was exhausting or I'd be going to the next video but there were definitely things I haven't found before so thank you for this & hopefully some help.
I found out that I had MD about a month ago and I did not know about it when I was going with it years ago. I am also autistic. Irish Dance is an activity I am doing right now. I think I will try meditation next.
Oh, wow. Irish Dance-that's such a cool way to get grounded in your body. Definitely try out meditation. There are so many different kinds of meditation, so play around until you find what works best for you-there are body scan ones, guided, silent, chanting, walking meditations, all kinds!
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do especially when it comes to your own mind. I know the title of this video is to "quit," but a more accurate description or suggestion would be to decrease excessive daydreaming. There's nothing wrong with daydreaming in and of itself. It's all about balance :) Maybe instead of thinking about stopping, you could think about adding more activities you enjoy in your life that are not daydreaming.
@@thehealthywriter thankyou for this, I feel like God is trying to draw this to my attention. The truth is ,I do this to cope with life, because I feel unloved in real life
Problem is I am a maladaptive daydreamer since 5 or 6 years ....now at 27 on one hand I want to quit it for better focus etc etc ..but on the other hand it's my most safe place on earth and I am so much attached to my cocoon of dreams that the thought of leaving it creates a pain ...
I understand. It will likely create discomfort and open yourself to pain you’ve been escaping from, but I guess I would say, what’s on the other side of five or six years from now if you continue the habit? That pain or discomfort beneath the habit probably won’t go away until you face it. I wish that I had gotten into therapy sooner in my early twenties, that I had given myself the opportunity to improve my wellness sooner. It would’ve saved me a lot of pain by facing the things that were hurting me because that stuff doesn’t go away on its own (typically). It just hides other places. If possible, if you can bring in a trusted therapist or gather more community during this time that would be ideal. Basically, increasing your realm of safety and support. It can also be helpful to make a list as to why it’s important to you to quit (if it is). It’s never easy to leave behind something that really helped you, so I understand your hesitation. At the end of the day, we all have to do what’s best for ourselves, and if it truly doesn’t feel like a safe time for you to quit too, that’s okay. ❤️
Thank you so much, it started when I was 13 now I'm 20 and stuck I can't even study anymore I failed twice in the same classes 😢 I'm trying to find a good therapist (my experience with them isn't very well) at least I know the reason why I always daydream it because I have depression and anxiety, I'm also lonely I don't have Alot of friends actually, I wish I'll find good company in college if I ever went to college lol daydreaming make it very hard ☹️
Aww I hope you can find a good therapist! A couple things that can help in the meantime. I highly recommend yoga. There are a lot of yoga videos on RU-vid, so it doesn't have to be cost-prohibitive. Even if you only do 10 or 15 minutes a day, it will likely start helping you become more grounded. You can also try somatic exercises and trauma release exercises if the depression and anxiety is trauma-based. TRE exercises can be a little intense, so go gently if you're trying them on your own / see if you can find a trauma-informed therapist. I didn't have great experiences with some of my therapists as a teenager, so I totally get where you're coming from. It can help to make a list of traits you'd like in a therapist. That way you'll be able to better recognize a therapist who embodies those traits and recognize those who don't. One day at a time
@@thehealthywriter Thank you so much, you are helping Alot of people that feel they are alone in this, you are a gift from God, I hope you have the most beautiful life, thank you again for helping us, I'm so thankful 🙏🙏🧡
Hey DreXed! If you don’t find the behavior problematic, then there’s nothing wrong with some daydreaming, and if you ever decide you do wish to quit, you can always favorite this video and return to these methods when you want. ❤️
Hi Mykia! It doesn't have to be trauma-related. It totally can be boredom or solitude. I think isolation can be a kind of trauma, but I don't think societally, we think about it that way. Biologically and historically, humans are essentially meant to be in tribes. From a survival perspective, if you have people who look out for you and vice versa, then your survival is more likely because you have extra support. I think isolation is probably one of the leading causes for maladaptive daydreamers. That said, because you recognize it's out of boredom and solitude, adding more people and fun things to your life is a great way to counter the habit. Have you thought about some local communities or activities you could join?
I become daydream all day so I can't focus on anything 💀 when i do smth and ask me what i am doing i take a time to realize what the hell r they talking abt💔🧑🏼🦲
Ah, it’s definitely a balance! Good for you for actively moving onto eliminate another coping mechanism. Have you been able to introduce new ways to self-soothe? If you’re taking away all your coping mechanisms, it makes total sense that old ones like MD would rear up again. It’s definitely a balance-maintaining wellbeing. The good thing is you did it before, so you know you can definitely use it less again ❤️
I EXPERIENCE ALL OF THESEEE GOSH. but i dont think i am depressed or something or sad that i need a coping mechanism. Maybe i domt realize it. Its really more addictive
Hi Prakriti! Have you thought about what you might be getting out of it? If it's addictive for you, it must provide some benefit even if it's not to escape depression or sadness. Perhaps it's an avoidance method or a procrastination method? Maybe it's a way to have joyful moments without putting yourself at risk, like a form of risk aversion. You may consider journaling about what you enjoy about the habit and what it gives you and see if that may able to provide you with some insight. Identifying triggers can also help with that.
Md started for me when I was 5 and today I'm 17 next month is my birthday i understood about MD is a disorder 2 - 3 days befor I just wanna get free again just because of this I gained weight I have eating disorders I realised I have wasted all my years doing nothing and guilt is all over me there nothing for me to do more than regret with what I have done to me from last few years cause now aday after understanding my mind I feel like I m caged in and there's no way out I hope i get saved from this
Hi! You can definitely make your way through this if you take the steps. It sounds like you have a lot going on. Is there a safe adult you can speak to for support about how you’re feeling? I definitely recommend trying all the things in this video and seeing what works for you but also, getting support for the other stressors in your life and the pressure it sounds like you’re under. ❤️
