Wow, what a disappointment. I was hoping for good things from Matthew Vaughn's latest effort, especially since it "stars" Henry Cavill, but I'm afraid it falls far short of expectations.
Words of wisdom. When the hell is Cavill going to get a good role? That guy has a big following, is a good actor, and charisma coming out of every hole. The studio that finds a good project for him will finally tap the demand that is as of yet utterly neglected.
that cheap brunette wig and gold dress that made her look like a sack of potatoes prompted me to walk out of the cinema and save the rest of my afternoon
You know, I found the movie not that bad actually....like I agree with most points Drinker made...but I dont consider it a bad movie...ONLY if you take out the oil skating scene...that shit was cringe
@@vojtechpeterka1929 Why didn't the bad guys just tell her the truth of what happened after her accident? She clearly doesn't remember everything and they didn't know she became a double agent.
Haven't seen the film, don't know much about the BTS of it, but shooting from hip, it's entirely possible Henry Cavill signed on before the script was fully fleshed out, then started regretting it and wanted to walk away, but had to settle for having a minor role allowing his name recognition in exchange for his compensation paid.
You’ve done more than save us from Hollyweird, you’ve given a purpose to these films. Not many could drink enough to make sense of them without hospitalization like you do. Thank you Sir✌️
God, first Henry leaves the Witcher simply because the people behind the show have zero respect for the source material, second he's fired from the role of Superman right after just announcing he'll come back and now he's in a terrible spy film. Hollywood must really hate Henry's guts.
Hey, hey getting paid good money. He's very sought after. He's just choosing the wrong stuff. It's a bit like Tom Holland. Just has a very bad sense for the projects he signs up for.
Course they hate him. He has a far better understanding of any source material, an intelligence and physical build they can only dream of and the balls to call them out on their obvious woke bullshit. And tell 'em to get fucked.
I’m usually thankful to drinker for the entertainment and well thought out analysis. Sometimes I’m thankful that he’s confirming to me that a movie I hadn’t thought to bother with… was one I definitely didn’t want to bother with. Occasionally I’m thankful that he steers me to watch something good that I might otherwise have missed. This time, though, I really feel that I owe a thanks. Matthew Vaughn, Henry Cavill, Sam Rockwell and Bryce Dallas Howard? I would have definitely wasted two hours watching that. Now I get to do something else. Yay. Thanks, Drinker. Sincerely.
A little studio interference goes a long way, no? Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride, because Hollywood is just getting warmed up, it seems.
Based on the trailer, I thought that the reason for all of her writing coming true was that she had a magical cat, given the way that the trailer kept emphasizing it.
@@NRES-tedit's funny what they are doing in the movie industry with all the remakes..they themselves are remaking the status quo..it was men leading and strong and tough and the women were timid for the most part..it's flipped now but it's just the same thing essentially..shift the culture and sway it one way.
Give it a try. For once I really disagree with The Drinker. Argylle was hilarious. It knows all the tropes and plays into them wonderfully. Its a comedy that plays it right. I had a ton of fun in this movie.
Regarding the reason the organization was coming after Elly, it’s not what you seem to think. They want her writing those books to reveal her history so they can gather information, they aren’t trying to stop her. The reason they came after her on the train was for the purpose of capturing her and keeping her where they could extract the final piece of info they need, now that they’ve discovered she’s on the verge of writing that last bit. The whole writer identity was to convince her to comfortably write out all that without remembering the truth or being discouraged from dispensing what they were after. You might wonder why they were there in the first place on the train if she was already heading to her “parents”, but remember that they always had eyes on her so following when she goes out and having agents keeping watch makes sense. Deciding to secure her against an enemy spy makes sense, especially when you consider that combat was initiated by Aiden, not them. Not claiming it’s an airtight story or anything, but I wanted to make that clear.
Why would they even need to have her brainwashed if she was already playing for the bad guys? Its plainly dumb, they couldve just helped her remember where the shit code is and not do this 5 year charade for book sales lol
Henry Cavill: - The best actor to play a live-action Geralt (The writers sideline him in his own show to the point he quits). - The best actor to play a live-action Superman since Christopher Reeve (Horribly mismanaged and misdirected in every appearance he's given, and unceremoniously fired). - Probably the best actor to play a new incarnation of James Bond since [Insert your favorite Bond actor here because I'm not getting near that debate] (The numbnuts in charge of the Bond IP decide that James Bond isn't stunning and brave enough). At this point, you could tell me that a Voodoo witch put a curse on Henry's career and I'd easily believe you.
I am not a coward. Roger Moore was the best Bond. Followed by Daniel Craig. Followed by Pierce Brosnan. Followed by... nobody. Dalton, Connery, and -Moore- Lazenby, in that descending order, were all garbage. Note: Moonraker is not Moore's fault, he didn't write or direct it. We don't like to talk about Moonraker, campy doesn't even come close to describing it. Some new derogatory term needs to be devised for Moonraker. Edit: To reflect a correction that was pointed out to me by another user. Lazenby was supposed to be where the second Moore is.
Kingsman was written by Mark Millar, Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldstein. They already collaberated on Kick-Ass before. Argylle was only written by Jason Fuchs who previously did Wonder Woman. No matter the director, the script clearly dominates.
Kingsman and Kick-Ass are also based on successful comics written by Mark Millar, so that the story would work was kind of clear, just the quality of the adaptation was open for debate.
This is the kind of review I really appreciate. A movie I might be inclined to see because of the director and cast. But would hate myself for spending time and money once I saw it. So thanks again stinker for saving me time and money. Hope you make it to Hawaii someday and I’d be proud to by you a shot or two or twenty! 🤙🏻
Another reason to never ever engage with marketing for movies, if it doesn't spoil the plot by showing way too much it straight up lies to you about what it is about.
She's the definition of a nepo-baby. She constantly complains about pay gaps yet she won't even put in the least bit of effort. The Howard name won't carry her forever, and she doesn't have the kind of acting chops and star power to be able to do whatever she wants. If she wants to be leading lady material, that means she's going to have to put in more effort as she gets older-not less.
Thank you for making this video so fast and for saving me 20€ in the process, as I had planned to watch this film this week! Your recommendations are (so far) always on point and really helpful. Thank you for doing the honest work that needs to be done
I never let reviews stop me from seeing a film. I’ll make up my own mind. In this case, I completely disagree with the Critical Drinker. He went much too easy on this POS movie!
He took a gamble on this film and Guy Ritchies two upcoming like anyoneelse. These two directors unfortunately have been on a box office decline and regardless the quality of their recent films, they haven't been successful nor critically well received
"They definetely didn't spend money on a personal trainer for Bryce Dallas". THANK YOU!!!! It is impossible to believe that she can fight! She is not good for combat scenes!!!
Damn, watching the trailer, I expected the film to be around 75% Cavill and I was stoked for it. Thanks for catching this one, Drinker. I won’t bother with it.
@@jimmytenname2451I maybe would have when it hit the small screen, I haven't been to the cinema for around 4 years now, but won't even bother with that now.
The three action set pieces at the end were great.I would even say that two of them were amazing.If you're on the fence about seeing it read the positive comments on Rotten Tomatoes.Alot of people will regret not having seen this on the big screen.
Excellent work as always, thanks for saving us from crap movies, but hey, what's wrong with cats and boxes of wine? 🤣 My house is almost never without them both.
@@MereologistLeave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels leave the tunnels.
When we saw this, I told my hubby “I can’t wait to hear what the drinker says about this”. Later he said, “Can you ask the drunk Scottish guy what he thinks of the Bee Keeper”. I think listening to your reviews has made him more aware of what Hollywood has been putting out. Thank you Drinker!
@@Diego-ek5id I didn't notice any real woke. It's a John Wick copy with idiot Hunter Biden subbing for the Russian mobster's idiot son. I found it pretty enjoyable on those terms.
@@Diego-ek5id I liked it at first, but felt somehow wrong and then I realized there were too many girl bosses. Competent females vs evil white males trope was a thing and it was way too diverse. I didn't expect this and felt cheated even when I watched this movie for free 😮💨
Well, did see the movie yesterday and found it not to be thaaat bad. But i guess it would have been a better weird flick if Ellie (?!) had not turned out to be an/the agent (bit of a Lady twist) and her book predictions were the result of some other strange reason… so i somewhat liked the first trashy hour with Henry. 😅
He won’t, cavil isn’t some magic bullet becuase he painted a few custodes and likes a bad mmo. The kind of people I could trust with a warhammer movie or tv show are the kind of people that would be cancelled into the ground. They’re gunna dangle Henry in front of you. By the time you realize that he was just stuffed into some producer role to bait you you’ll already be slobbering all over his knob.
@@Dap1ssmonk I don’t honestly expect Games Workshop intends to grant him the traditional amount of control the role gives. Henry Cavil’s a figure that can be trusted to stick to the source material-which is the chief concern of the fans waiting for the show. I have no illusions that the ones making the show will be the people GW and Amazon provide. But with Cavil and GW watching like hawks for any deviance from the lore, the show should be enough to deliver.
@@ethatsgoodwine5888 I have a hard time believing that literally any actor can be trusted. At the end of the day he is still working with creeps, grifters, and weirdos. I’ve been burned by too many supposedly “just like us frfr” actors turning out to like kids or beat women or whatever that I have no hope for literally any of them. As far as my jaded ass is concerned cavil is putting up a front to get brownie points by saying things that they like while also not saying anything that will upset his bosses. “Sticking to the source material” is such a nothing burger of a statement that he can say and it’s got half of nerdom creaming their pants.
I just feel bad for Cavill at this point. The guy's a massive nerd in the best way possible, worked his ass off to get a role as big as Superman, and the role wound up torpedoing his career through no fault of his own. Just bad writing, bad agents, bad advertising...sheesh, someone get this poor bastard out of that meat grinder.
6:23 Haha 😸 It bums me out that cats are now seen in movies as the sidekick to a frumpy woman who can’t get a date. Because cats are actually pretty cool I have two of them and Im no “cat lady” no frump here (yet 😬)
"She was a super duper extra secret agent all along!" "And suddenly the interesting premise of a reality warping writer evaporates into boring thin air."
It's so ironic how plot twists regarding characters are meant to make them more interesting, but this twist made the character substantially less so. In what ways is a generic mind wiped spy cliche supposed to be more interesting than a reality bending writer unaware of their own power (we could have gotten female Alan Wake)?
@@ChienaAvtzon He is not too old ! Did you forget that Craig started at 38 ? Brosnan at 41, Dalton at 40 (same age as Cavill) He is the right age to start !
@@richardtracy8242 - The only people who want Henry Cavill as James Bond, are his cultish super-fans. As in the people who hype him up on social media, but do not show up for his movies. The Broccolis are not going to cast him, because he is not a box-office draw and he is too old and too short.
Oh, man! I was actually looking forward to seeing this movie. And how many were they planning? Guess I’ll wait until it hits a streaming service ….in 3 months.
I felt the "Long Kiss Goodnight" and "Romancing the Stone" vibe as soon as you explained the plot of the movie at the start of the video. Holy script splicing, Batman!
@@travismitchell5672 without question! Can you believe I bought a copy in a Walmart bargain bin for like $5 only a year or two after it came out? I felt like I was stealing it.
Whenever I see Bryce Dallas Howard I'm just reminded of that Black Mirror episode she starred in about the social credit system. I thought she did a pretty good job in that role. I'd love to see her in something that makes good use of her abilities and doesn't require the stretch of the imagination that it takes to believe that she had been a spy/assassin. It's unfortunate for her, really. Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu and Darryl Hanna could pull it off in the Kill Bill films. Howard... not so much.
I kind of liked Argylle, but I wish they stuck with the premise the movie was promoted on: she’s a writer that writes what comes true in spy world. I think they couldn’t figure out a way to keep that idea going, but would have made for a far more entertaining 3rd act if they had
Yup very disappointing to learn that’s not actually what the movie is, between Henry and that plot the trailers advertised i had some hopes we’d get at least a decent film
She's usually great, but totally miscast for this role if she wasn't going to put the physical work in to make the action parts believable. She didn't even need to get super-fit, just do the Tom Cruise in _Collateral_ thing of being unassuming and a little over-the-hill but still retaining razor-sharp reflexes and skills. It would be f*cking amazing to see BDH in a genuine action role. But she needs the commitment to actually follow through with it, think Linda Hamilton in T2, or literally any other physical female action role in the last 20 years. Keri Russell could've played this role in her sleep and been far more believable 🤷🏻♂️
I'm sorry to hear this. From the previews, it looked like it had the potential to be some escapist fun along the lines of "The Kingsmen" and "Bullet Train". Such is life.
I saw the trailer and thought oh, another action movie, not interested. I thought the same about The Beekeeper but I had a coworker recommend it to me so I will have to go see that. I watched American Fiction and it was far better than I was expecting. The acting was really good and there were some genuinely good laughs in there. I really liked the stark contrast between the real and genuine characters in his family vs the stereotypical characters he deals with in his writing career.
The Beekeeper at least looks fun, Statham has a nose for projects that are, if not exceptional, at least good enough. Comedy or intense action or both, he tends to find decent movies.
I called that Cavill or any other man wasn't going to be the real Argyle as soon as I saw the trailer - knew it would be some sort of subverted expectation.
@@doriandaykin2747 Not just Cavill, but any of the other male leads. Also, just because she's the main character doesn't mean she has to be the badass.
I literally just have to wait for the Drinker to critique any film and then, I know if the film has any meaning…thank you for giving me so much more time!
We are so glad we watched this movie before the review. It was light-hearted and enjoyable. Henry Cavill is probably the only actor of today's era that could pull of being the ultimate imaginary hero with such cool carisma, and he had so much fun doing it. Bryce Dallas Howard was mesmerising both as a lonely writer afraid of everything and slowly rediscovering both the personality that was stolen from her and the love of her life who was waiting patiently and protecting her. The colourful smoke is a metaphor for the joy she feels.
Henry Cavill's popularity is at an all time high right now, despite all the bad roles he has been into. Granted, he is a fantastic actor so he got that going for him, but I really hope he manages to do something great with his popularity. I am afraid that if he chains too many cursed projects, he will be forgotten. Whereas he has the potential to get an amazing career.
Him calling absolute bullshit on the Witcher production, was him saying what a lot of us think in general about these awful projects was pretty endearing. Halo did the same thing. Superman is telling these asshole to stop it.
Nothing he has been in through all these years has been a hit..sad but true. Hope the dude gets a huge role he will be rembered and lead a franchise that will be fondly remebered
It’s sad because you can always see how hard he’s going when he’s on-screen. When I first started watching the Witcher, I had no idea who he was or much of anything about the games, books, etc. But I could tell from just his presence and demeanor on screen that he did. Instant style points for me
I think - and the trailer should have made this VERY evident... it's more Vanilla Sky/Crank: High Voltage than Bourne... It's surrealist and not to be viewed on a 'blockbuster action flick' level. Now, that doesn't make it good, but there are different expectations for one vs the other.
Can we talk about that scene where she is told to step on the heads of downed security personnel? I felt like I was watching a fanfiction written by a teenage girl. Such bizarre writing
Having seen it, this film can best be described as a plane that takes off smoothly, approaches cruise altitude, has to divert for a mechanical issue, and has a tailbone-rattling skid across the runway to safety at an airport it shouldn't be at.
Thank you for saving me the time. I was very close to thinking this would be worth an afternoon. But I should've known. It's crazy, for more than a decade I went to the theater all the time. likely more than once a month on average. Movies were such a huge part of what I loved about storytelling. Now... the last times I went to the theater was Oppenheimer and then Top Gun Maverick a few years before that. Otherwise, it's been at least 5-6 years since I really felt like anything was worth a trip to the theater to enjoy. For a while I thought I had changed, but I've realized it's literally that Hollywood is simply producing mountains and mountains of garbage. I can't understand why or how exactly, but they literally forgot how to tell stories.
It's worth the time. Though this video spoils a lot so you might not enjoy the craziness that unfold. Yes, a lot of it is stupid, but that's part of the charm. It's a ridiculous movie that knows it shouldn't be taken seriously. Listening to the review is honestly just feels like empty edge lord cynicism. There weren't many people in that theater when I watched it, but many of them were audibly having fun with the film.
Here's the thing, I always agree with the Drinker's reviews, but sometimes he over exaggerates. Yeah, the CGI is horrible, there are some plot holes and the pacing is a bit slow. But the movie really is fun and the action scenes are very well choreographed. Granted, it is not a very original movie, but the plot twist is interesting and could have been utilized even better. The movie doesn't take itself seriously and it basically makes fun of all those romantic spy novels out there. All in all, it is a movie worth watching with a couple of mates, it's fun.
After watching a few of Samuel L's lesser efforts over the last few years, I concluded that he would do any movie as long as the check cleared the bank.
He's making his bank can't fault him for that. Remember the guy used to be a crackhead. If someone offered you 5 million dollars for two weeks work who wouldn't take it at 75
@6:19 "And Jesus Christ, fuck off with the cats already!" leading to "What? Lonely women in their mid thirties like nothing better than cats and boxes of wine??" Spot on fucking funny as fuck!
A real cat would be close to impossible to direct, at least to do anything but move intently in a straight line or lounge around. Any cat willing to scratch a dude's eyes out on cue would gladly do it for free at any opportunity.
Sad thing was, the first part of the film where we're relying on Cavill and Rockwell to sell the action is solid. It's that cool, stylish, and slightly unbelievable secret agent film we all know Vaughn can do. Howard also does well playing the dumpy writer suddenly thrown into this craziness. But then comes what I call 'the vineyard twist' and the entire thing goes straight into the crapper. Even worse, since Howard did absolutely zero training to sell the idea that she is an action star, you can actively see the change in direction and camera work to utilize CGI and cover up the fact she's so bad. This really stands out because less than an hour earlier we were having some solid action scenes. And then the last third of the movie just drags and drags and drags. With Vaughn throwing several twists into the last 40 minutes it's like he has to use them all in this one sitting. With all the women you could have gone with Emily Blunt, Milla Jovovich, Charlize Theron, hell, even Sandra Bullock could have sold it better. Howard did fine when she was playing Elle, but she is not Argylle in any way, shape, or form.
To me she's average at best. Take the Jurassic movies...she's alright but not memorable for that role and could be replaced by so many other better actresses. I liked her father's acting well enough when I was a kid and into Happy Days, but I think he's a much better director and unfortunately, his talent did not pass to his kid.
@@carried9130 I don’t have any memories of her being memorable in the films I’ve seen her in, so I think your take is on point. The fact she was willing to do this project when it’s blatantly obvious she didn’t want to put the physical training into her craft really bothers me. You can even use Gina Carano as an example. Yeah, she no longer possess the ‘ring ready’ physique that she did when she was in UFC (age and life sometimes results in that), but she still threw down in the Mandalorian series and looked legit as hell. Audiences can buy the idea that she IS that bad ass.
@@RicoRaynn She did the same thing with the Jurassic World sequels. The producers just wanted her to get down to the weight she was in the first movie, and she pitched a fit about "unrealistic body standards" for female actresses. Meanwhile while her costar Chris Pratt is hitting the iron and protein shakes to change from chubby Parks and Rec Andy to a leading superhero and dinosaur game warden. If you want leading parts in action movies, people have to believe that you're capable of action more demanding than working the TV remote.
The whole premise the movie tried to sell the audience on in the trailers was that of an ordinary author whose stories happened to be true and was thrust into the world of espionage without any practical experience. The movie literally took that incredible idea and took all the setup and threw away the payoff. It’s like waiting 5 hours to cook a roast only to discover that not only did you forget to turn the oven on, you forgot to buy the meat in the first place.
I was interested in seeing this movie, though after watching Chris Stockman's review of it I changed my mind, then your review nailed that coffin completely shut.
Honestly, the first half of the summary sounded fun. "Magical BS makes spy thriller come to life; author, naturally, becomes a key part to resolving this as factions from her books try to abduct her." Keeping Cavill as the leading man and having Howard play opposite him, and this could have been a fun little film in the vein of "Last Action Hero" (and I know that wasn't Arnold's best work, but still...). But they just had to pull a twist ending, didn't they?
Anyone remember Romancing the Stone? Hell yes, we all do. Remember that masterpiece and use its memory to pour more scorn on this wretched crippled attempt at what Romancing did so effortlessly and so well.
What an adventure. I was completely enthralled by Romancing the Stone movie when I was a child. Even the sequel is a hundred times better than the adventure movies we get today. What happened? Do people not understand timing or the subtleties of film making or even just decent adventure writing anymore? Makes me wonder what is going on in these film collages these days. How can we go from what we had in the 70s through 2010 to today? Even movies from 2000 to 2010 have been dropping considerably. Why? Shouldn't we be getting better?
Hell YEAH! Got that one in my personal library... Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner, what a GREAT DUO. I hate to say it, but I can watch it alone, or with female company ... LOL🙃
Yeah took a girl to go see it and we both collectively thought yeah it was a solid 5/10 okay movie but definitely not rewatchable again. Henry cavill was stellar as always, shame he wasn’t the main focus of the movie and Bryce had okayish performance.
OMG. I loved "The Long Kiss Goodnight." Was such a fan of Gina Davis back in 80's and 90's. I still think she's a beautiful woman and a wonderful actress! 🤗
Geena was hot AF, I was a horny teenager in her prime. and "The Long Kiss Goodnight" is one of my favorite movies, easily top 20. The comedy and acting chemistry between her and Sammy J was great.
I know it couldn’t have been all on Matthew Vaughn. He’s already proved himself at least as a competent director. Probably the ever-increasing DEI rules and studio interference.
