Ashley's Big Lesbian Break Up: A Conversation w/  

couldn't watch this, too sad

how does adam and eve not sponsor you yet??? you’re literally perfect for them 😂

Once just before a breakup I confided in a friend and I said "I would never find someone as good as them" and my friend said "They aren't the best you'll ever have, they're just the new standard"

Can confirm I was originally a joy baby but I have been LOVING the podcast. As a baby queer myself it has been so hilarious and informative at the same time. It's a shame we live on opposite sides of the country..Keep the videos cummin' 😉❤

I actually followed you before I followed Alayna. You were the one who introduced me to her.

It's comforting to know that being 33 and just getting into the lesbian scene, that I'm not going to just be too old.

Surprised there wasn’t several chaotic “ZOOM”s at the beginning

Lol sorry about the purgatory my b But yeah killed it good work pal

I could count on one hand how many people actually make me laugh out loud, and Ashley is definitely one of them 🥰

Ashley and Alayna- I'm sorry that both of you are in post break up "glop". My sister uses that term for big transitions for the part when you're in the cocoon and being deconstructed into DNA soup before reforming and re-emerging as your healed more whole self. It doesn't feel great and it can be really disorientating. Sending big love to both of you and trust the process. I've really had some experiences of holding such deep pain in those moments, but also feeling like my heart broke open and kindness and compassion and love came rushing in from family and friends that made my life so much richer and holding deep gratitude and joy for those incredible connections and for people really supporting me in those moments. I hope you each experience some of that tenderness while you heal and reconnect and realign with your selves. ♥️

"Even the worst people don't die alone" 😂 That really cheared me up as I am someone who's super anxious of staying single forever 😂

Whoever edited this deserves an award hahaha! Oh my god, perfection. Chefs kiss.

You should make her a permanent or semi-permanent host of the podcast

20:55 I needed to hear that! Sometimes to me, being gay feels like a double-edged sword in the regard of time, because as a late-blooming baby gay (27), I feel so angry that I wasted my youth, completely terrified to acknowledge what should've been obvious (so it's as if I'm going through adult puberty which results in regret), but on the other side of the coin, my life is no longer bound by the strict confines that I used to feel trapped by.

I do watch alyna's videos ,but i feel more like a ✨GAVIN'S GIRL✨ than a JOY BABY ,so Ashley we exist too in ur subscriber base not just joy babies,we need recognition too!

“And inevitably i meet people that are better suited for me, because i am a better version of myself” DAMN this hit like a BRICK. Preach Ashley, thanks for this truthbomb reminder❤️ (btw not that i went through a breakup or anything but still super valuable information in any stage of life haha)

Genuinely surprised you’re not doing sex toy sponsorships on here or the pod 💀 you have the perfect target audience and should pitch them

You two talking about toxic codependent relationships is somehow the realest way I've heard anyone describe it, I'm sure a lot of that is due to my personal experience being similar to y'alls but it was the first time I've heard someone describe it and went "oh man I did that" in a really concrete way. It's good to have it laid out for you like that

I blush every time that ash calls us “little bitches”

Revisiting these older videos and realizing I am so grateful for these collabs. I started as a Joy baby but now I am fully hooked on WHGS and Chosen Family! I relate so hard to Ashley and discovering your content has been so meaningful to me ❤

Alternative perspective on long distance in response to your guys' "there must be an end goal" comment, in case other long distance folks are panicking 😝 I'm in a happy long term, long distance, polyamorous relationship that has survived a year and a half separation due to covid. When I realised I didn't want to move over there to be with them permanently, I grieved for a long time about what could have been, and I thought we had to break up. But now... after lots of communication and figuring stuff out, I love what our relationship looks like. People are taught that the narrative of relationships is: get together, work towards a life together that looks just like every other couple, move in, get married, have kids, blah blah. But actually, whatever feels good for you (both/all of you), is good. Make plans to see each other, make it sustainable, and find ways that you can support each other even from far away. It can work. Promise!

can't believe i've just left comment on Alayna's video about how helpful is was, and now you are saying things that apply to me even more. thank you!

I love being an exception! After a few months of dating I was ready to break up after taking a trip with my girlfriend. 6 years later, we are married with fur babies. I realized in therapy that I was struggling to accept the love from her because I was so used to being in toxic situations that a healthy one just didn’t “fee right.” I’m so glad I didn’t let let my past traumas push this amazing woman out of my life.

I really enjoyed this video! If you had more videos like these where you are a big lesbian sister giving us baby gays advice that would be great!

Thank you for having this conversation. I just paused this video and had the most painful but empowering phone call with my recent ex in which i cancelled our plans for the weekend and with all the kindness I could muster explained that regardless of how much we love each other I need to set and respect my own boundaries. Being gay is fuckin gay dude.

It actually makes me sick that most women, are attracted to their age as they age, but most men are still attracted to basically 19-20 year old kids, when they're like 40-50 years old, sometimes older then the younger persons dad. That's sick to me. I think it's circumstantial when it comes to age gap relationship's, some people are inlove and spend forever together and are perfect for each other but when an older person is ONLY ever attracted to younger people and constantly tries to get with younger people, gives me seriously gross, rock spider vibes. Just sayin.

I use a journal like Ashley too, just get everything out so it stops living in my head then I don't have to go back to it, have been doing it since I was like 12 😅

As a bi guy, I've really been enjoying your content lately. Not only are you fucking hilarious, but you give great relationship advice. I haven't been in any relationship in over 5 years but still. Thank you for the uploads

I watched this when it was first posted. I just watched it again after an excruciatingly painful breakup with someone I genuinely thought was different, who made me feel things I never thought possible, who was everything I needed and wanted and more before things shifted and they became the complete opposite. I realized just how codependent I am in this relationship among a slew of other things. I feel like I have never felt emotional pain so agonizing in my life, and this is coming from someone who spent more than half of my life being severely depressed and suicidal. Time and focusing on myself and learning how to actually be alone and take care of my own needs is my best bet, but my god do I want to just show up at her apartment and embrace her telling her how much I love her and want us to try again. This feels like a living hell, but I know I have to keep trudging through, and hopefully I will find genuine love on the other side, even if it's just with myself for some time. I know this was posted a while ago now, but thank you for filming this. It was nice to listen to both of your responses and feel almost like I was with a couple of friends supporting one another. ♥

thank you for putting this video up despite it being such a tough and sensitive topic because heartbreaks sucks!

I'm not even 20 seconds in and I love the editing already, big ups to the editor

I was just thinking I wanna listen to Alayna before I go to sleep, because she has so chill energy. Thanks guys for the the content. And yes, I've been listening to Ashley a lot lately for the same purpose. Love you too.

This is my comfort video lol. I come back to it every few months when I'm feeling the Big Sad over my first gay heartbreak. Idk this video is so empowering so thank u

I really wish this amazing person would perform in Canada! Ashley is amazing 🥰🥰

Yes! (Regarding exiting a healthy relationship vs a toxic relationship!)

You’re both my favorite. I did learn about Ashley on Alayna’s channel, but I’ve since listened to every episode of We’re Having Gay Sex, and you’re both just the best queer content creators. I love when you two collab.

This was so funny, I have to admit I did find you through Alanas* Channel, BUT I subscribed for the hilarious content not because a felt sorry for you! 😂

What you said about how hard it is to get out of a toxic relationship... and what Alayna said about constantly thinking about what you wish you'd said or what you wish you'd talked about, I feel that so much. I think a big reason I stayed for so long in the toxic relationship I was in was because I was desperately afraid of being the bad guy, or for that matter making her feel like the bad guy, or leaving it on bad terms or whatever. I just wanted so desperately to feel that I had truly given it my all, that I had tried, and most importantly, I wanted so desperately for her to feel that I had tried, and to not think too badly of me. I wanted her to agree that things weren't working out, and break up more amicably, rather than having a nasty bad traumatic breakup. I think there was a part of me that thought that if we could agree it wasn't working out, then maybe we could actually remain friends. But, now, the idea of interacting with her gives me panic attacks. So, that's out. But, yeah, anyway, like Alayna said, I just keep going back to wishing I'd said something differently, or wishing we might have had certain conversations, or just wishing things could have been different. I know that we're not meant for each other - at all - and that she's a terribly toxic person. So it's not like "if I had said X, we might have been able to make it work," but more like "if I'd said X, maybe it could have been more tolerable & less traumatic while it lasted," or "maybe we could have broken up on better terms." :/

Recognizing toxic fear thought and how that is not how you would speak to a friend or how a friend would speak to you is GOLD, Ashley!!

How are these two videos out just as I exit a long term relationship 🥺 These funny as videos actually do really help since I know I'm not alone in how I feel about her and knowing that I can move on by focusing on myself so thank you to both of you! Gained a new subscriber from me 😄

I absolutely love the editing style!! These two videos have made my day ❤

Needed This!❤🥺❤ Thank you both❤❤

I originally came from your tiktok and then listened to your podcast and then became a Joybabie :) although I stumbled across Alayna through my RU-vid recommended but I am beyond thrilled that these collabs are happening

As someone who’s aroace with only 2 relationships in my past. I find all this breakup talk so fascinating 😅

Thanks for this, guys. It really was helpful to hear your advice and similar experiences while I'm going through the heartbreak pain.

i really found your podcast through the first collab with alayna and now i'm on episode 20 :D i love it it's my saving grace for any train or bus ride and honestly teaches me so much as a somewhat still baby gay!

I could listen to you two chatting all day

I need every hard moment of life to be animated like that cutscene heading to the store. It gives me the dopamine rush of the poster from Angela Anaconda 😂

i love the chemistry you two have, you're so fun to watch and interesting- this is so sad though xoxo

Ashley..I'm a new fan..ur absolutely hilarious..I have been binge watching all ur podcasts and I haven't stopped laugh crying lmao..gold..

Great advice here.👍🏻 For me, any time I've been single, I try to remember that those cpls you're looking at w envy are probably miserable IRL! Sincerely, Denise 😄

This Video eventuelly did really help me.

Was it just me who paused the video to see if Jen had commented?? :-)

I am loving this 💖 thank you for the openness 💖

Lol. I was just having the thought that this video was just what I needed right now and then Ashley says "this probably isn't helpful to anyone" 🤣

i did not know i needed to hear some of this stuff today. thank you

I found Ashley first and then Alayna, and now I love both ❤

So I came here to laugh, but actually found this whole conversation (on both channels) to be incredibly helpful for me right now. Free therapy whoo! But seriously, you both have a lot of excellent insight and advice. ❤️

This video helped me so much. I love you both, you’re great internet therapists lol

the edits are amazing on your vids. I can say I hardly laugh at vids but yours really get me cracking up by myself😂

I'm het and going through a rough breakup. This really helped me so thanks! Love the podcast.

Straight cis woman here, Ashley is correct about long distance 'ships: the distance is not sustainable WITHOUT A PLAN TO JOIN LIVES IN THE NEAR FUTURE. I took way too long figuring out that i didnt view my long distance bf of 4 years as a good friend, or as someone i ever want to live with. He wanted to test drive shacking up together before any talk about marriage. The distance kept us in the danger zone: no relationship progress, i felt like an emotional prop or a crutch, he felt terrified throughout the relationship of completely losing our relationship. We were on and off for a period of 8 years, thus i say we were only together for 4 years.

The market is so fresh LOL. I found out I was gay just before my 31st birthday this year. LOVE YOU BOTH

I'm here from Alayna, I have seen some of your comedy on youtube/instagram, but not your channel, and I must say you and Alayna is great together in this format. I love people that doesn't take themself seriously, and does overshare a bit, that's when you feel it's real. I must say I love you, in a respctful distanced way

This conversation is helping me sooo much because I feel shitty for not having myself figured out in relationships.

Thank you for your theory on toxic relationships. Mine is, but you have removed some of the fog.

Always love this dynamic

15:08 was so funny and cute especially that laugh at 15:19 and is she cute ? Can I look at her ? Also thank both of you for your videos because they honestly really did help me

I actually found both your channels independently which is weird. I kind of rediscovered Alayna and actually started watching her content around the same time I discovered Ashley’s stand up. Then I got addicted to the podcast naturally. RU-vid just knows to give me gay content. 😂 I absolutely loved this little chat, both of you are awesome.❤️

Write your future self a letter! Genius!!

Your Libido follows your heart. And whatever’s going on in your life reflects on your libido.

came here from your vid with alayna, now subscribed so HI you're hilarious thank u for the funnies!!!

came over from alayna... not because i feel bad for you but because you are fricking hilarious and the podcasts are fascinating

Also love both of you, looking forward for more content ✨

This was so good ❤️

Me 3 days after a break-up with a guy: I'm fine again lol, let's have some fun Me almost 1 year after a break-up with a girl: FINALLY getting over her, took long enough lol How could I have ever thought I was straight lol

A+ video and advice, much love to you both

When you guys started talking about society rules I remembered how my parents think lgbtq+ people are just people manipulated by society and that's why we feel like we're attracted to X gender ... but we are actually the most liberated, I mean I feel like we don't feel any pressure to match the kind of lifestyle society says you should match

this video was very helpful to me, thanks

OHMYGOD the editing

I came across Ashley on tik tok and didn't know who AJ was until the podcast with Ashley. So I may be that 1 subscriber that you sent to Alayna 💁🏻‍♀️

Such a lot of good advice learn a lot from you all

You want an Edith? My grandma's name is Edith Dyke, not joking... She's not quite 90, but she in her 80's 😂😂😂

Thank you both.

Back to back seeing the part 2 and continued my laughing, and Ashley how come Adam and Eve hasn’t sponsored you yet they are missing out. Enjoyed this post break up advice video a lot and laughed and cried all the way through this video and I love your podcast. Love the advice and the conversation was so cool and it was just amazing, thank you so much for both these videos. You are both so great and so happy you’re here for me

Damn that intro is ✨chef's kiss✨

Not me actually being named Denise and being a fan of your podcast… 😣

Our joy has found her lesbian self. It just hits harder..women can do that 2 u. It took me a 1 1/2 years to get over my One but now, I rarely think of her and no chance of going back. Time and knowing u deserve being treated and fully loved is key

love the collabs!!!

Thanks!

I write everything down as well. Because my memory is shit.

incredible that i found your channel right after my break up and i've been watching for a week now i feel like i grieve faster and this conversation was really helpful. thanks

i was focused on the hat for so long it's really so cool i want it too!!

My number one breakup advice is watch Daniel Sloss’ stand up special Jigsaw.

I've been waiting, _ladies_ . Seriously I need this and I like you both very very much thank you, more please. Edit. I'm sad gay and boring.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks these two would look wicked cute together….

golden. True gems-

I can't believe I didn't know you had a RU-vid channel (but also being honest I did come from Alayna's channel...) but I follow you on TikTok!

Inofficial sponsor of every lesbian break-up, ever: Ben&Jerry's. ;-)

Hahahahahahahaha Alayna was so supposed about how normal people journal