Ask Dr. Tartt- Help I'm Married To A Selfish Husband 

Despite working and going to school my husband barely helps with the kids housework or cooking. When I complain he down plays my school and work as doing nothing. So its hard to get someone to help when they don't value your contributions to the family.

Chances are, a selfish person will not hear the unmuted you

I work 2 full time work from home jobs simultaneously, and am a full time mother of 2 kids under 2 , and 8 months pregnant with twins. I feel like I work just to provide for him. Me and the kids don’t get much because of his wants and needs and selfishness. He’s always buying Jordan’s, smoke, i got him a car he been wanting and he won’t stop putting money into, just like the first truck I helped him get. I have two vehicles as well that have issues he’s never ever tried to get looked at. Im not a big spender and am fine with essentials when it comes to me and kids and we always looked at money as both of ours together. I’m starting to become less naive and realize that I’m working towards keeping a roof over my children’s heads and getting them what they need, and providing for a man who is so into himself and impressing other men who he’s in competition with, it’s starting to stress me out. I feel like I deserve so much more. I haven’t did anything for me in years.. and the sad part is neither has he. I’m ready to move into my own home with my kids because he doesn’t help financially anyway I can do it on my own. I just don’t want my kids to be without a dad they love him so much and he’s a good father

This is the issue I’m having my husband is spending all the money on himself and I’m getting nothing mind you I’m trying to tart a business to save up for a service animal for myself. It’s making me seriously depressed.. I take care of the kids 6am-6pm then work from 8pm-2am then finally eat dinner around 2:30 and repeat :/

What about when he only changes for a short time and goes back to his old ways. I have been married to my husband for twenty-three years. We still have 2 young kids in the house (5&10). I have been really annoyed with him for the last 15 years…. I do keep my anger bottled up 80% of the time for the sake of the family. The other 10% is split of trying to calmly express my hopes for our roles and changes I would like to see. The other 10% is when I break and I loose my cool. After I get crazy that is when my husband gets motivated to help for a shot time. Why does to have to be like this… I look for Biblical answers but all I come up with is to tame myself and put it at God’s feet. However, sometimes I feel like God is punishing me and my husband is my curse.

They don't here it.. best to leave..stonewalling avoidant partners are covertly abusive

What if they dnt accept when we talk to them?

i have a selfish husband. i do everything. last anniversary we did nothing to celebrate. my birthday was today i got a gift card and a card. nothing else.

Easier said than done but must be done.

You can't negotiate desire. Women love to serve to man, only if that man is living his life to his true potential ( successful, tall, handsome, leader, rich). Imagine if negotiation involves extra chores for man, but man adds sex 3times per week into "contact"? 😄 Will most of the ladies do the agreement? Because most men will do chores with smile on their faces knowing sex is coming as reward😄 Problem is that a man who needs to be told by the woman is not respected by the woman.

Hit it on the nail

I guess my question after hearing this video is what do you do about the stonewalling and dismissive behavior and blame shifting

Thank u for the video

Hi Dr. Tartt, How does a believing wife submit to a “pre-believing” husband? Ms. Knight😇

Love this it's true