Aspies don't have emotions...??? 

❤

Emily Kanter No one understands "aspies" because they have no desire to understand the world. It's a two way streak, shawty.

LegalizeBudMan Yeah...errr...ummm....no.

Emily Kanter Im a 19 yr old aspie dude in Americuh, and I can so relate 2 many things she said when she was younger. im rly high functioning and can socialize well for a while with individuals but am often In a mess in larger groups. ive grown out of most of my xtreme interests xcept 4 starwars basically. if u have difficulty hdidng ur Asperger's u need to essentially act, like rehearsing in front of ur mirror. the more u train urself to be normal, u will. Xp

I'm an aspie too and i feel that neurotypicals are fake, we need to act in order to keep up because they "act" naturally. We really say whats really on our minds but they try to be "nice" but what they do is actually lying to make people feel good and that's hard for us. It's sad that a lot of aspies get to cope with these frustrations but i don't want to act ,so i don't. if they can't take it and judge me, i will do things they don't notice because they have a hard time reading us aswell.

I'm with you on that one my friend. I'm 26 and was diagnosed just recently. My life till then was just the most confusing mess you can imagine. After the end of a long-term relationsip with an NT (during which I became more isolated from others), I suddenly found myself in an echo chamber of my past, feeling like I had no sense of self, that it left when she did, that everything I thought was myself or my 'personality', was just a lie that I built for her and others. I was at the point of losing my mind, and had convinced myself that I must be a sociopath, because I was realizing that I just didn't experience what other people did, that I didn't feel what they SEEMED to feel (probably due to my own ignorance/misconceptions, I never even considered AS as a possibiity), and they all suddenly seemed like aliens to me. The diagnosis was a huge relief, and made me realize that just because I didn't act like NTs, that didn't mean there was anything wrong with me. Althought I was always naturally contrarian (to the extreme even), up until that point I had constantly been modifying myself and "acting" to try and fit in and gain the approval of others, because unlike a lot of aspies I'm emotionally dependent on them. But I'm now at a point where I finally feel comfortable, and proud, of who I am, and don't feel the need to act any more (which, like you say, is exhausting). Don't ever get depressed about it, the fact that you are consciously aware of your intentions and actions - and that you can finally be YOU - is a gift, one that most people will never have access to.

I Feel sorry for what happened to you

in my experience the one still act like genuineness in there 20s are nt aspies. male feelers in there 20 do develop there feeling side. this makes it hard to know how bad they have it.

spark300c Sorry I've no idea what you are trying to say.

I was going off mbti. nt stand for intuitive thinkers.

spark300c English please I don't understand gibberish!

peter nicholson I am dyslexic. plus that typical atheist comment.

Hi :) There is a lot more variety between people on the spectrum than there is between different neurotypicals. Also there are many different 'conditions' that don't fit into the limited range of NT ways. Plus NTs have no urgent and pressing need to learn about non-NTs. So i think we have to forgive them for not understanding. As they are the ones missing out on some amazing people's insights i think we should pity them too - and also pity them for being scared of anything or anyone slightly different from them. However, that doesn't mean tolerating bullies! Regards from Tom :)

NT? What's that?

SilverDreamFirefly NT = neurotypical Sometimes people use it to mean "people who are not aspie-autism". I think that was the original usage. But it really should be more general than that. It should mean people who are "normal" (whatever THAT means), neurologically typical of the general population. There are a lot of neurological conditions, some temporary and some hard-wired, that kinda excludes them from being neurologically typical of society at large. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurotypical musingsofanaspie.com/2013/01/10/what-is-neurotypical/ isnt.autistics.org/ So the way i use it in the more general way might be slightly different from the way most aspie-auties use it. Regards from Tom :)

Oh, thanks. I've never heard of that before, so I was a little confused. Now that I know what it means, I'm glad I'm not NT!

Hey! Don't be hater!

this is the first time i've heard this word used for asperger's and i like it more than 'Asperger's syndrome' or 'Autism spectrum disorder', so thanks for teaching me a nice word for it

***** Troll detected.

I hate that word. I hate most of the "accepted" aut-community words. "Aspies"? .... Puh-lease. Most days I'm Aspergian. When I'm feeling whimsical, I'm a Changeling. But I'd never resort to the common terms. If anyone gets an "ies" end.... give it to the mundane people. "NTs" indeed... pffft. They're just mundies. Low-minded sociophiles.

+SotiCoto whoa, okay, no need to insult other NTs, please.

***** There is no need for mundies to do half the disruptive crap they do either... but they carry on doing it. Dishing it back at them a little is cathartic.

Are we related or something?? I feel like I'm looking at a written mirror!!

I feel you, its hard being in this world without people to love or to be loved by, or knowing that you might never really be able to make close friends, to never really be accepted or have intimate relationships, but its ok.I'm very charming or "hot" and I'm not smart but intelligent I guess is the correct word hence I mostly knew my parameters and how to understand people so I never had you'r situation but I know how you feel it hurts so much when you don't know what to do about them or what to say or even what to expect about people, I find a lot of time they just talked about hogwash(not British BTW reading Harry Potter does that) and mediocre subjects, gossips and either I didn't know what to say or ran out of things to say or I simply wasn't interest in their conversation, had bad anxiety and awkwardness unless I just stopped feeling emotions which is awful and I hate eye contact I never understood why people would ever do it its uncomfortable, anyway its extremely hard to have relationships when you can't even talk I never ended up not having any real friends, I cried when I had to do oral reports for most of my middle school among many embarrassing social death sentences but I guess here in the tropics people are more sensitive and they didn't gossip or anything of the sorts or ignore me(mostly because I was charming).About you're friend, I think you were what inspired her to be that, remember that nobody is perfect like you might not have understood her she might not have though about it much either and maybe since you were her friend and she didn't understand you she wanted to make things better and help out other Aspies, its not a bad thing if anything you should try and reconnect, I know it sounds ridicules but its worth a try she will use your assistance a lot, no fish is ever caught by staying off the shore.If you wanna understand more about Autism watch some documentaries called "Genie the wild child(or something like that)" , "Children of Darkness" and an episode of born Schizophrenic starting January Schoshfield, these aren't directly related to Autism but they help understand it better I must warn you they are very long, almost boring and Children of Darkness has a lot of screaming but their all very artistic, I would ramble on and on and on but its pretty dark and im sleepy so Ima talk to you tomorrow, hugs and kisses, I love you, I know that's kinda weird since I've never met you but I really do just because were Aspies and have the same experiences and such, so yes I love you(hugs).

Hi :) People get overwhelmed sometimes and lash out. Often they lash out at the one person they feel closest to and who they need the most. It's one of the reversals that NTs do without realising they are doing it. It's difficult to cope with. Sarcasm is difficult enough but this sort of thing is painful. It might be a good time to try to get back in contact. If you have already tried then maybe try again. Sometimes they need a bit of prodding before they come back. He/she is probably very embarrassed so maybe avoid talking about the break-up and just talk about normal things or remind them of good things you have done together in the past. I'm not good with people either but someone recently has been trying to teach me how to be a friend and she was really good at this sort of thing. I think my advice is what she would have said. Errr, i need to take that advice too of course! Good luck and regards from Tom :)

***** are you saying that to be funny ? because it isn't

Marc A. Castro Hi :) I think we are supposed to be impressed at how clever Jonas is in terms of stirring up comments to make him famous. Trolling is an art form and takes a lot of practice. Jonas obviously needs a bit more work. Regards from Tom :)

Same

I'm an Aspie too and I don't really have emotions like love compassion or affection. I was never shown how to feel like this and people hate me for something they didn't show me. people have been nasty to me and I only really feel hatred. people like Hitler are said to have Aspergers and he was abused and driven to hatred. we aspies(not all) are cruel because others have been cruel to us. cruel People create cruel people. I am called heartless but I do love animals ... I guess.

@@ryanhunter226 What of Ceausescu and Pol pot?

you sound like an AWESOME person,Hopi Moon! ;-) !! we really are very different .

If she stays with, it shows that she's loyal. Common Aspie trait. If you can't accept her, then leave her.

Aspies can show all kinds of emotions, although it's hard to show them sometimes. 'Do not marry an Aspie of either sex because it will end in an emotional desert for the NT' and 'I love her but she cannot love me'? As I said, Aspies do have feelings, it's just hard to express them. Take it from me, I'm an Aspie myself.

Aspies are essentially sociopaths without the superficial charm

karmalevel If Aspies are sociopaths, then I guess that: 1. You haven't met any Aspie, and 2. I guess you're either a xenofobe or the next Hitler. (in case you don't know what a xenofobe is, it is a person who's afraid of people not like them.) Or maybe perhaps you're both.

LOL you are a typical aspie. Overeact and can't see the world like 99.9.9 % of society

What a well done video! I am glad you shared.

Do we all get hats to wear to signify this so we can carry out your concept?

Steven Douglas People with Aspergers who are really unattractive will go their whole live miserable, wondering what the hell they did wrong to deserve the rejection. Since she is attractive, she has had plenty of people interacting with her in plenty of different settings and situation. She has had a better chance of learning how to express herself normally.

My 3 year old son will be tested for Asperger's soon. Can you give me some advice on how to interact with him in a way that would benefit him the most?

Donna Thompson Well... I could give you a very long list of books that would give you more comprehensive advice.. (Actually, I should sit down and compile lists for my channel page. I'll make a note of that.) But the most important piece of advice I give parents is: Chill out. The more you worry, the worse it will get. "They" say we don't have empathy, but a remarkably high number of us get "infected" by the emotions of others to a very high degree - which means that very likely, if you're stressed out and worried, your son will get stressed out. This will give you more to worry about, and the cycle never ends. Be there to catch him if he needs you to, but don't remove obstacles too much - we have to learn at the pace that we can, this gives us failures in life but also successes, and those give confidence. He will need that to be happy. (It all ties into one..) So chill out and keep your eyes on the goal, that your son will have a happy life, whatever that is for him. He'll be alright.

Thank you so much for responding and for your advice! I have in fact noticed that when I am the slightest upset about something he notices and internalizes it. Yes, Aspie's do have empathy and sympathy as I have witnessed in my son. Your RU-vid video's really caught my attention when I was looking for someone to connect with that was similar to my son so that I could try to connect with him. It's amazing how the "look" out of your eyes is strikingly similar to the "look" from within my child's eyes. I commend you for putting yourself out there on RU-vid in order to help people and their families work through Asperger's. Even though you are "acting" most times, always remember that the eyes are the window to the soul and truly yours is beautiful! :)

Donna Thompson Hi :) Sometimes physical contact hurts or is embarrassing or confusing. So can eye-contact or tooo much attention or trying to force communication. It's probably instinctive for you to reach out and hug a lot but sometimes that makes things worse. If it seems to be making things worse then just back off either a lot or just a bit. If you've only backed of a little bit then maybe look away to give him more space. If that seems to work and you feel more contact is needed then maybe hold his hand or put your hand on his back or some other smaller contact like that. Some of the best times i enjoyed most with my parents was when they were sitting quietly reading and i was quietly getting on with my own thing. The quiet companionship was really soothing and it felt like the strongest bond between us all. Very occasionally one or other would chortle quietly or make a noise that indicates they'd found something interesting but they'd only read it out-loud if asked. It felt good that they had other worlds of their own too and let me be at peace in mine. On the other hand sometimes i crave physical contact and don't know how to ask for it or worry that it's going to be difficult to disengage or worry that i'll be asking for too much or for too long. Sometimes a close friend puts his hand on my shoulder and it feels really strongly supportive. Other times i jump a mile. Regards from Tom :)

@Tom Davies Thank you so very much for your practical advice for ways to connect with my son! It was just what I needed to hear to confirm that I'm on track and in tune with him. Most of what you have described about your experience with companionship is similar to what my son seems to be inadvertently telling me. I just love to sit and be absorbed in his world. Oh, and he loves to hold my hand!:) Do you have a blog that I could subscribe to that could give me some more insight into the life of Asperger's.

HOWEVER! The HAVE A GREAT DAY quote is kind of a turn off to me. So difficulties understanding if it's sarcasm or not. but yeah now you know

ONE REASON why my ex-girlfriend dumped me, and she was an ASPIE as well. 99% of the society ain't gonna understand anything. No matter how hard we try to explain, they will always chose to reject and be proud of their arrogance and stupidity, just because it makes em feel good about themselves. and from your views they go fuck themselves if they have negative thoughts or can't accept the facts of life.

I feel like I am an alien in this society. A lot of the world does not make sense to me. I have learned to act normal but I feel just like you so lonely.

The thing which is hard isn't even the fact of beeing alone, it is the feeling that there is no hope :( You try to motivate yourself but some evening, especially when you have a lack of energy, the mask gets really heavy.......

My family keeps asking me (especially after my sister had her second child) when am I going to get married and give my parents another grandchild. I simply tell them when I can find a woman that can stand being around me for longer then a couple of hours. I can't even visit my bestfriend anymore because I get the feeling his wife doesn't like me being around their place. It's not that she doesn't like me, she's just not comfortable around me.

Michelle Harreslon mezmero69 I understand how you guys feel. Its so hard to just nail interactions with those who don't understand your condition. I have autism, and i've had it for 18 years so far. It becomes painful to wake up each day with out feeling like your alone with no one besides family to talk to, but, even then, its hard to have conversations with them as well because I just can't get the idea of communication so well. Having this disability can feel like your trapped on a island. you see all of the airplanes, and boats pass you by, so, you make up all of the signs, and signals to let other know your trapped. but, they don't see those items, and they just simply pass you by.

i made a forum for people with the autism disorder (and other social disorders). here you can socialize, ask questions, give tips and make new friends. this is the forum: shouganai.eu

Thank you, you just put my feelings... Or no feelings into perfect words, thank you

What are friends for?? the problem non-aspies have trouble reading us the lack of eye contact they believe is a sign of lying when actually its me processing or recalling data and feeling uncomfortable due to being in personal space closer then preferred. Pauses as well may throw them as it could be the extra effort in saying something analytical basically its like being on holiday in a different country. Worse is blushing it believed to be embarrassment when its chemical reaction to stress. I do have a sweet story I did community work and went to a adult disability social club. I saw a guy called Michael he couldn't speak at the time and he moved around in a more like a Orangutang standing up that not me being unkind just had similar movements which also tell you neurologically he was different. Years have gone by when I heard a voice how are you it repeated I turned to see Michael with a carer walking behind me. He then said how are you sorry I forgot your name. I was surprised and very pleased. We had a short chat which is heart warming as all this time he knew me but was unable to talk could be the have changed meds or he has improved.

Hi :) I think some of what you describe sounds a lot like depression rather than straight-forwards aspie-autie. However depression is often one of the side-effects of being an aspie-autie. Also a lot of that could easily be aspie-autie. All of us are very different from each other = different combinations and intensities of the traits as well as what/who we are outside of those traits. A lot of what you describe make a LOT of sense to me. I've not been diagnosed yet though. Regards from Tom :)

Tom Davies, yes, Asperger's with heavy depression that goes with it. But you are right, people with AS are very different from each other. Glad not all people with AS deal with severe depression.

I struggle to separate thoughts and feelings and feel numb mostly when I should be emotional but then get delayed reaction and the emotions hit me months and years later. I struggle with happy as a concept too and only really recognise it in retrospect. So, yes, I feel as if I know what you mean to an extent. Depression and anxiety have been common in my life too (usually hidden as best as I can manage). I empathise with you.

Jim McIntosh Hmm.. I can relate to not feeling emotional when I should, but not the numb part. Do you mean you have no feelings at all? I notice that I should feel good in certain situations, like when I am out in beautiful nature for example, but instead just notice that I don't feel the feelings I should, and that makes me feel quite depressed and frustrated. Not feeling good.. not being able to experience pleasure.. that's called anhedonia. I don't know how common an AS trait this is. Happy as mostly a concept. Yes. I get that. For me, it helps to watch my favorite TV shows and movies over and over again, and read the same books.. that helps some. Food tastes good.. I can experience that pleasure, but it leads to weight gain. Also, when I do feel pleasure, part of my brain wants to stop that feeling. I don't have the delayed emotional thing like you have, but I keep reliving or fixating on the past, and the past is mostly negative. I read that's an AS trait..having difficulty letting go of the past. And the past is mostly negative Anxiety and depression.. makes sense we experience these feelings. Anxiety because we feel, and are, quite different from most people. Depression because of this, and because we can't feel as we feel we should. I've read that some people with AS can improve their lives and reduce their symptoms by going gluten-free and dairy free. Have you tried or read this? I'm thinking of going on a restrictive diet, but since food is one of the few forms of pleasure I experience, I find it somewhat difficult to change my eating habits. Also, it's easy to get into the habit of eating the same foods most of the time. I need to change this. It be really worth it. I wish you good days in the future. Maybe there are some solutions..

WHO!! i never said that i have been HACKED!!! who said that as me????

Did you not remember posting that?

The mystery deepens as my comment gains likes and we patiently await an answer...

very big odd, in fact!

LOL - yes true, although it was a typo and should have said "bit odd" but yes, also a very big 'bit odd' ! ;)

Ha, same. That has been bothering me so much lately because I'm sort of coming out and telling people what's been going on in my head a lot lately and why I've been in and out of psych and everyone keeps saying things like that they always thought I was pretty normal or whatever. They completely forget that for decades they've been telling me I'm f'n strange and have the most unusual way of thinking and how I act so unemotional. People only see what they want to see in that instant they think they are seeing it.

kaupaxup Hi :) Yeh, i mixed with people who valued "being different" as being a good thing so i always took it as a compliment. I didn't think they were serious! It's odd how much people's attitude changes when you "come out" about something like this. it's odd that so many people have such a negative perception about what it means to have this. Yes it can be crippling but it can also be almost like an X-men type super-power. Regards from Tom :)

There's no medication available to treat autism, because it isn't a disease. It's a neurodevelopmental disorder.

Hi :) To some extent all that is true. The term "aspie" came from people who have aspergers-autism or are otherwise in the community. NOT from 'health-carer professions'. It's just a contraction of it and makes it friendlier and easier to say. People who say something a lot tend to shorten it = hence nicknames and technical languages (ie IT jargon). The term aspergers came from Dr Asperg(? not sure the exact spelling) who noticed that several patients had similar traits and issues and that things that helped ease some of them seemed to often help the others too. It's a spectrum 'disorder' so some people may have very mild cases and others are crippled by it. It also varies depending on how culture or society is around you. Sometimes the culture or society is tooo intrusive or judgemental and crushes aspies into their own worlds or pushes aspies (and others) into freaking out. Other times it gives aspies enough space that it gives aspies a chance of making the most of the gifts that come with it instead of being crippled by the negatives. Sometimes a trait can be negative for one person or in one situation but extremely positive in others. Hence Mozart, Michelangelo, Bill Gates, many top musicians and others. A classic example is that Einstein was a bit of a failure at school (he hated it apparently) but outside was able to use his gifts more positively. Regards from Tom :)

Hi :) In some ways the terms aspie and autie are worse "labels" because it suggests that the person is entirely defined by the aspergers or autism. Health-care professionals say the person "has aspergers" or "has autism" suggesting that only part of the person is defined by whichever one. However, the way people are handled sometimes seems to contradict that. People who define themselves as aspies or auties often sy that they do this or that which is outside normal spectrum behaviour or describe thoughts or feelings that are outside of it. So they acknowledge taht they are aspies or auties but that it doesn't completely define everything about them. At a guess health care professionals sometimes focus too much on stuff that only fits on the spectrum and don't seem to see the rest of the person. It's kinda their job to help with 'problems' that are outside of NT issues, oddly they don't have to try to fix the problems of NT behaviour or the illogical and bizarre behaviours and feelings that lay within the limited NT range. Again this is just me thinking aloud and there are bound to be many examples of individuals contradicting what i say, even if i'm right. it's quite possible i'm completely wrong though. Regards from Tom :)

And Aspie is just a short and kind of cute way to say you have Asperger's syndrome. Mainly because of that stupid a** name of the guy who first acknowledged it!!! WHY NOT SMITH OR JOHNSON?????

It took me many years to learn to automate it enough that I can keep it up for any significant period at a time... What I did was to use roleplaying games (tabletop, live RP stresses me out too much) to study behavior, social rules and how they change etc. So far, it's been 10 years since I started RPG's, and I'm reasonably good at it now. So my best advice is acting classes, drama, and roleplaying games. However - some things don't change! Sensory issues are still the same, and I still have to work around those, I also still have to watch my stress-level, etc. All the underlying traits are still there, just my communication with NT's has improved. :)

TheAnMish I learned the hard way: through constant embarrassment, loss of friends and the mortifying feeling that I stuck out like a sore thumb and was always doing something wrong. I slowly began to streamline my social skills, cadence, tone of voice, etc. through middle school and high school until I almost caught up with my peers and that is where I am now.

Hi :) I used to watch a LOT of soap-operas to try to figure it out. They are NOT a good example though! They tend to avoid communicating usefully, i think it's in order to create the maximum misunderstandings and to heighten drama. Also nowadays far tooo dramatic and nothing like real life. Another one is sitting in a cafe or pub pretending to read and just watching people. it took me ages and i only go into ones where i know a safe place nearby where i can be myself and go into my own world without attracting too much attention. Pubs are great because people don't expect strangers to comunicate and they are often too wrapped up in their own things to notice other people much = so it's possible to say a few words and then wander off as though you are going somewhere without people finding that too odd. Having a book or something that looks like work to go back to seems to make sense to them. Regards from Tom :)

TheAnMish That was how I learned to 'blend in' too. I started roleplaying on World of Warcraft about two years ago and made a lot of friends there eventually. :) I also started going to public school around the same time; homeschooling wasn't really working out for me at that point. I think I'm doing pretty well with other people now, but I tend to isolate myself and cry after long and/or awkward social events. >_

Always remember masking is a tool, not the real you. I can tell you from personal and reading others experiences that forgetting this causes multiple mental health problems. I saw this video when I was first diagnosed and this was the aha moment, the most important piece of information I needed to know in my self rediscovery process because I was clueless I was even doing it a lot of the time, and when I did know I was masking I thought I was doing better then I was. Even though you hated making this video, I can not thank enough for doing so The AnMish.

Hi :) You do need to do things yourself that you like to do. She might not be able to join in with that but might (or might not) like to hear about some of your adventures. At the times when you are off doing your own thing she may enjoy being able to go off into her own inner world for a while without feeling guilty about not staying out in the world for you. Time apart can sometimes be as important as time together as it can make the time together more special. Regards from Tom :)

Just my own opinion. "Your mileage may vary"

Tom Davies Thanks for your comments, the things I miss most are closeness, intimacy,cuddles, hugs and love. These are missing from my life and leave a huge hole. I do not matter anymore.

Graham Dawes Hi :) Those are going to be difficult to get from elsewhere! Hopefully she has opened up her inner world to you a little so there is that type of closeness and intimacy. This is something that is difficult for an aspie to share. Physical closeness and intimacy is really tough. It's not the same and is very flippant but maybe a dog or cat might help? Would you be able to take a dog out for walks? That might give a regular excuse for getting out of the house for a bit and reassure her that you'd definitely be coming home again. Sorry! Not very helpful :( Apols and regards from Tom :)

Graham Dawes You can probably get your intimacy from her, just not whenever you feel like it. You have to tell her that you are interested in being intimate with her later in the day. She will have time to prepare herself for it. Try to warn her in advance and give her a lot of time alone to deal with what is coming. Eventually, you may not need so much time for her to prepare.