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Assertiveness - What are Passive, Aggressive & Assertive Behavior? 

Management Courses - Mike Clayton
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Assertiveness at work is important, but do you know what passive, aggressive, assertive all mean? What are the behaviors that are characteristic of each of them, what do they signify, and why should you aim for assertive behavior?
Let's look at Passive, Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive, and Assertive behavior, because understanding them all is an essential business and professional skill.
Watching this Video is worth 2 Management Courses CPD Points*.
(See below for more details)
This video is part of course module number 1.5.2
Program 1: Managing Yourself
Course 5: Personal Impact
Section 2: Assertiveness
Primary videos that preceed this video include:
- Our videos on First Impression. Start with First Impression - Appearance • First Impression - App...
Primary videos that follow this video include:
- Assertiveness - Recognize Passive, Aggressive, & Assertive Behaviors • Assertiveness - Recogn...
- Assertiveness - What to Say to be Assertive • Assertiveness - What t...
LESSON NOTES
============
The four behaviors are:
- Passive: focusing on not getting hurt
- Aggressive - focusing on beating the other person
- Passive-Aggressive - focusing on making others feel bad while avoiding responsibility
- Assertive - focusing on getting the right result
RECOMMENDED EXERCISE
======================
1. Reflect on these behaviors in yourself. Which styles do you use inappropriately? (2 MC CPD Points)
2. Start to notice when you are straying into passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive behaviors. What are the triggers? (2 MC CPD Points)
3. On the next three occasions when you notice the triggers for your unhelpful behaviors, start to pull yourself back to remain assertive. (3x2 MC CPD Points)
DOWNLOADS
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Paid resources
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RECOMMENDED READING
=====================
- Assertiveness at Work geni.us/epp1
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5 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 125   
@q_c2762
@q_c2762 18 дней назад
This is my first encounter with this channel and I subscribed right away. This channel is very impactful and knowledge-heavy. Thank you so much for your hard work and consistency. God bless you. Can’t wait to learn more from you.
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 18 дней назад
Thank you very much for subscribing - and for your kind comments!
@miller4874
@miller4874 2 года назад
P.A.B: Focuses on making the other person feel bad, while avoiding responsibility. Responsibility= your ability to respond. Good show!
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 2 года назад
Thank you.
@ericwilliams952
@ericwilliams952 4 месяца назад
Will describe great breakdown and descriptions, thank you.
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 4 месяца назад
You're welcome.
@maryamsalehi-dn6sc
@maryamsalehi-dn6sc Месяц назад
Great description
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Месяц назад
Thank you.
@manalaziz9374
@manalaziz9374 3 года назад
Absolutely helped me with my major assignment and now I'm definitely going to implement this on myself as well. Thank you!!
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
Great, Manal, you're welcome.
@tigranmamikonyan5124
@tigranmamikonyan5124 Год назад
Thank you good sir :) I will aggressively learn to become more assertive.
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Год назад
LOL!
@ahmedhussein1116
@ahmedhussein1116 3 месяца назад
I aM egyptian and you are excellent
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 месяца назад
Thank you.
@wulh981
@wulh981 2 года назад
How Great you are! Your teaching methodology is thoughtful and inspiring! Thank you a lot!
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 2 года назад
Wow, thank you! And you're very welcome.
@kazbaz8645
@kazbaz8645 3 года назад
I am passive and need and hope to be more assertive. I know aggressive people and you can feel beaten up after just a conversation and i am not expecting it and dont know why they bother doing it so not ready for it then you can feel squished and self doubting. I also know assertive people who are you can think that and i think this and thats ok which is bril. I need to find how to be more assertive.
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
The first thing to remember is what Eleanor Roosevelt said: 'no one can make you feel inferior without your consent'. That means that, if you choose to hold onto your self-respect, no-one can take it from you. That is the start.
@cherylbarnes919
@cherylbarnes919 3 года назад
THANK YOU SO MUCH for this very well done, concise explanation. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 I will act and think better because of you! On occasion, I have behaved passive-aggressively because I lacked the skills to graciously address the issue and I did not want to be perceived as sensitive or petty.
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
Glad it was helpful, Cheryl!
@cherylbarnes919
@cherylbarnes919 3 года назад
@@ManagementCourses You answered me twice! Thank you! I explained the respect aspect to my daughter in regards to passive, aggressive, passive aggressive, and assertive and we are both amazed how well that summarizes what this is about. You are an excellent teacher. Thanks again.
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
@@cherylbarnes919 My pleasure!
@ucilisteambitio978
@ucilisteambitio978 Год назад
Great video!
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Год назад
Thank you!
@AhmadhiYoutube
@AhmadhiYoutube 3 года назад
THANK YOU SO MUCH. HELPED TO WRITE ESSAY FOR MY DEGREE AND MERIT PASS
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
Congratulations - happy to have helped.
@sunaakaln8834
@sunaakaln8834 Год назад
Thank you 🌸
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Год назад
Welcome 😁
@bintabah6291
@bintabah6291 2 года назад
Thank you so much.
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 2 года назад
You're welcome!
@sharhful
@sharhful Год назад
You have an incredible voice
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Год назад
Well, thank you.
@othmane-mezian
@othmane-mezian 5 месяцев назад
Agree.. documentary voice
@notjordy8652
@notjordy8652 3 года назад
Working on becoming more assertive‼️
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
Go for it!
@aniafish
@aniafish 2 года назад
👏🙌
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 2 года назад
🙇🏻
@maddisonnsw5745
@maddisonnsw5745 Год назад
Myself and my best friend Hubba are always feeling awesome
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Год назад
okay
@fifisdlo6079
@fifisdlo6079 3 года назад
love this
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
Thank you.
@coltenkelso5764
@coltenkelso5764 Год назад
A calm tone while being assertive doesn’t always work. You have to shout sometimes to really make the other person understand you’re serious and a lot people think that is being aggressive when it’s not.
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Год назад
Yes, sometimes controlled agression can have the desired impact. In conflict, it is likely to escalate. To avoid escalation, you will need to intimidate sufficiently. So, while you may be doing this out of arational desire to assert yourself, and be controlled, the fact is that the impact is aggression.
@coltenkelso5764
@coltenkelso5764 Год назад
Yeah some people are just passive aggressive and don’t care even if you have a calm assertive tone. It’s very annoying.
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Год назад
@@coltenkelso5764 I'd suggest it's unhelpful to think in the terms 'some people are passive-aggressive' and more helpful to label behaviors instead. And yes, in some circumstances, calm assertiveness may not have the desired impact. That's simply because you cannot easily change someone's emotional state or control their intentions. But that does not invalidate calm assertiveness as a preferred approach. However, if you find the behavior you see in response annoying, you'll need to be careful that you don't let your annoyance impact your own choices at an unconscious level. That would be a route to your own aggressive or passive-aggressive behavior. 😞
@coltenkelso5764
@coltenkelso5764 Год назад
Yeah that’s the part I’m working on. I’ve always jumped back and forth between passive, and aggressive. I’m pretty new to being assertive actually. So of course out of habit it’s my natural reaction to either be aggressive or passive. I’ll work on it with time though. Appreciate the responses.
@jashankhandwala8000
@jashankhandwala8000 3 года назад
Could you please give an example of a situation where a person could react passively, aggressively and assertively
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
You finally get to the front of the queue, when someone barges in and says they don't have time to wait, and the salesperson starts to serve them. You can react: Passively - you don't want to make a fuss, so you pretend you didn't notice Aggressively - you turn on the salesperson and shout at them for ignoring you and demand they serve you NOW! Assertively - you politely ask the salesperson if the other person has a n urgent need, because you and others have waited patiently, and firmly request that they honour the queue.
@jashankhandwala8000
@jashankhandwala8000 3 года назад
@@ManagementCourses thank you
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
@@jashankhandwala8000 You're welcome.
@cherylbarnes919
@cherylbarnes919 3 года назад
Also, I read the other comments and I wonder if the person who has trouble with your spelling is looking at the word Behavior. Some people may be unaware that British and Canadians may spell this word with the letter u. Just a thought. 🤔😁
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
I misspelled afraid in one of the bullet points - no big deal (as affraid). Slips happen. By the way, I'm British, but choose to use US spellings in my videos (although sometimes a British spelling sneaks through too!)
@FPVScorpian
@FPVScorpian 2 месяца назад
Can a passive communicator and an aggressive communicator co exist?
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 2 месяца назад
First - and most importantly - it's not about being a passive communicator or an aggressive communicator. We are all both - and passive too. Rather, we can adopt a passive communication style or an aggressive communication style at different times. This means we can flip from one syle to another as our emotional state and level of self-control vary thorough an interaction. And so can the person we are interacting with.
@ip3931
@ip3931 2 года назад
WHY HAVE PEOPLE CONTINUED TO HARASS, BULLY, MOCK ETC DESPITE MY EFFORTS AND ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR.
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 2 года назад
I don't know. But your choice of capitals comes across as shouty. Maybe this is a joke or maybe you are serious. But if you are serious, you'll need to give some more information.
@coltenkelso5764
@coltenkelso5764 Год назад
Because they feel powerless when you are being assertive. There’s a drama triangle that these kind of people try to pull you into. There’s a victim, persecutor, and rescuer. Assertiveness keeps you out of this triangle.
@mahdih2141
@mahdih2141 2 года назад
Im definitely passive, how can i change?
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 2 года назад
Mahdi, start by recognizing that you are not passive. But, sometimes (maybe often), your behavior is passive. And behavior is a choice. So, you can choose to respect your own needs, priorities, and rights more often, and start to act in a more assertive manner.
@FMCariappa
@FMCariappa 4 месяца назад
Afraid is misspelt as Affraid
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 4 месяца назад
Sorry - it happens.
@FMCariappa
@FMCariappa 4 месяца назад
@@ManagementCourses It does. 🙂
@mayaq8324
@mayaq8324 6 дней назад
So then what is passive aggressive behaviour
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 5 дней назад
Passive-Aggressive behavior is manipulative. It dresses up an agressive attitude in submissive, passive language, gesture, and expressions. It is designed to make people sympathize while seeking to persecute.
@amadeusgreenwood1096
@amadeusgreenwood1096 3 года назад
When they type afraid as affraid in the first slide...
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
ok
@NanaiSolomon
@NanaiSolomon 4 месяца назад
What is passive behaviour
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 4 месяца назад
I explain this in the video. I want to help you, but rather than repeat everything in the video, can you clarify what part of it you want to understand better, please?
@jeesrapheal1137
@jeesrapheal1137 Год назад
what if assertiveness doesnot work to some people .and shouting and dealing physically only works?? i think it depends on people we are communicating with??
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Год назад
I agree that assertiveness won't work in 'some contexts'. And the difference here is important. It's not the person, but the combination of the person, the situation, and what has gone before. That said, there will be situations where: 1. shouting and being physical is controlled assertion and not aggression 2. that controled but strong assertion is warranted The most obvious example is when you need it to prevent harm.
@jeesrapheal1137
@jeesrapheal1137 Год назад
what do you mean by controlled assertion..Is it the same as aggression because here at some instances where we need to shout and if shouting doesn't works being physical is all same as aggression right..we do not respect.the other person and if we respectfully(assertively) say something they will not listen..so in some instances we need aggression..
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Год назад
@@jeesrapheal1137 You are on the right track with referring back to respect. It's at the heart of my understanding of assertion vs aggression. If you dial up the volume, pressure, and even physical intervention in a way that remains controlled and, critically, respectful of the other person, that's controlled. If you lose your ability to stay in control of your choices and srisk slipping into disrespectful language or worse, physicality... that's aggression. I can shout and push people assertively in an emergency, but that's not aggression. As soon as I stop respecting them and lose control... aggression.
@jeesrapheal1137
@jeesrapheal1137 Год назад
how can we respect a person when he has misbehaved with your partner or he has come to grab valuable thing from us or keeps on using abusive language to us coming to our house..I think in this situation we can only deal aggressively -shouting(using disrespectful languages) or being physical.
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Год назад
@@jeesrapheal1137 Jees - I suggest the 'ideal' is to respect the person, whilst deprecating their behaviors. Aggression is unlikely to improve the objective situation - though it may give a short-term boost in feelings of power in a situation where you feel someone has robbed you of some of your power. And alternative option would be to withdraw and disengage, if you can't find a way to improve things. Anyway, I think I now need to draw this conversation to a close. It's been fun.
@keithleeuwen877
@keithleeuwen877 3 года назад
Full Speed Ahead !
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
🚂 🚢 🛩
@KeeganKeneth
@KeeganKeneth 8 месяцев назад
I GET CURED
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 8 месяцев назад
Great!
@Cosmofreaked
@Cosmofreaked 3 года назад
My teacher sent me this for school
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
I hope it helped.
@qandeelnaeem8183
@qandeelnaeem8183 Год назад
You are telling us wrong 🙁
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Год назад
I don't think so, but I am open to some more specific feedback that we can discuss. Where do you think I am in error?
@hewhointheearthlydomainsee1272
It sounds like a person needs some next level emotional skills to work with and not be abused by these types. People that break you down to prop themselves up. Domineering types, maybe. They live in their worlds and everything is milky rosy, but sometimes they go too far and try to undermine others to play as underlings in their story. I see it all. They are transparent to me. I grew up with these types. And basically its a survival game. Luckily those people are stupid. And luckily I value being honourable. I am a person of understanding. I am not an animal or beast. But these other people have problems it seems, and are animalish. With great power comes responsibility and it does require some integrity and honour not use it for bad. Maybe those people think a man in control of themself is dangerous, and maybe he can be. Maybe there is a conspiracy of women that want to tear men down. Abusive women that seek power and dominance in relationships. Man is an emotional being too. Maybe all women are like that. Maybe men and women can be bad. A man in control of himself maybe can be dangerous, but a brood of women, or just one or a few can also be damaging. To hell with the jealous types in their small worlds of egotistical domination. I am happy to be a leaf in the wind, I do not need others to be smaller than me, I know I might not always be correct, and I am humble. But I know I have a powerful brain when its looked after with the right nutrition, water, and optimistic nurturing of a spirit or flame of passion within. I do not think I am being too proud when I say I am a mighty being. Nobody needs to bow before me. To their shame if they do not acknowledge what is great. What I mean is, they will make a bad choice in not acknowledging me, and nature itself will teach. True power does not need to control. People come around to it. They can choose not to acknowledge it, but nature itself is the teacher. The people that control do not have true power. They are suppressing the potential of others to reach a mature state where true power exists. Maybe I should start a fight club for all the downtrodden males that lack control of themselves. Maybe history is a tale of men and women seeking dominance and freedom. There are cases where both can have the abusive role, and maybe some think there are only hammers and nails in the world and that one or the other must suppress and oppress the other to be free. I pray that way of the leaf triumphs over the fire of aggression. To whatever power nature or spirit drives the world. The Real and The Good. I also believe that the way to stop war is psychological. Raise people out of the ways of beast into higher thinking. If the person has the gun, there are ways to get him/her to put it down. Possibly through a mutual actions of respect and a process of reflection and introspection perhaps, a series of summits to rise the consciousness of world leaders and achieve a growing shared understanding. It might be ego to want world peace among people, but it feels good. I hope that feeling of saviour is infectious. Though we should be on guard of our egos and that we are rational humble as well. Maybe there is a kind of devil in the world and there is also a light. And people need to be taught self defence in the ways of light against these devilish undermining forces.
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses Год назад
🤔
@ruqayya1373
@ruqayya1373 3 года назад
POV : ur Teacher sent u this
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
Yup
@mamakris78yearwood16
@mamakris78yearwood16 3 года назад
Yup
@mamakris78yearwood16
@mamakris78yearwood16 3 года назад
Thanks for the like❤
@mamakris78yearwood16
@mamakris78yearwood16 3 года назад
Another one omg thanks
@jenc1517
@jenc1517 3 года назад
It would be helpful not to have any misspellings in your slides....
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
I don't do them on purpose, Jen, I promise. What mis-spelling are you referring to, please?
@jeremiahflorent1347
@jeremiahflorent1347 3 года назад
i hate this
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
@@jeremiahflorent1347 Hmmm, let me see... Passive? No. Assertive? No. Aha... Aggressive? Yes. You're free to hate it.
@jeremiahflorent1347
@jeremiahflorent1347 3 года назад
@@ManagementCourses what do you mean?
@jeremiahflorent1347
@jeremiahflorent1347 3 года назад
do u have a youtubechannel
@iuliusfoyas8159
@iuliusfoyas8159 3 года назад
passive-aggresive = coward behavior ?
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
I see where you are coming from, but I think you are mixing categories. I suspect any non-assertive behavior can come from a place of cowardice. I think cowardice-bravery is a different dimension to assertive-passive-aggressive.
@iuliusfoyas8159
@iuliusfoyas8159 3 года назад
@@ManagementCourses passive-aggresive stance is specific to introverts while assertive stance is specific to extroverts. I think that an interesting subject will be: the mapping between these behaviors and the MBTI personality types.
@iuliusfoyas8159
@iuliusfoyas8159 3 года назад
Also another interesting subject can be: how to personality of coworkes influence the team(therefore the money created by the team) when you have passive-aggresive conflicts or assertive conflicts.Which type of personality will make the team loose money and which type of conflict(passive-aggresive or assertive) is more cheap (costs less money)to handle ?
@iuliusfoyas8159
@iuliusfoyas8159 3 года назад
The idea is to increase profitability of the team by taken into account how much money the possible conflicts will cost me ? Which type of conflict is more expensive:passive-aggresisve or assertive and what are the combinations of the MBTI personality types that gives eithe passive-aggresive or assertive conflicts.
@iuliusfoyas8159
@iuliusfoyas8159 3 года назад
By knowing this , from start I can minimize the probability of conflicts(given the MBTI personality types of a team) and I will know that between some personality types the conflicts will cost me less money.
@chicainglesa36
@chicainglesa36 3 года назад
Shame about the spelling mistakes
@ManagementCourses
@ManagementCourses 3 года назад
Yuh - happens.
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