Autistic Meltdowns 101: What Loved Ones Should Know 

My father would always label me as “dramatic” when I was experiencing meltdowns. Hearing you say “don’t call someone dramatic” was SO validating. Thank you ❤❤

I often experience being overwhelmed when I have a conflict with a loved one. I feel my own frustration and theirs in addition and it gets especially bad if they keep talking faster than I am able to compute it. So if you feel your loved ones are shutting/ melting down, reassure them that you love them and wait for their response before you continue with the next point, even if it may take a moment.

I know that we get a lot of labels. Did anyone else get "immature" or "emotionally immature"? Those always annoyed me and it was usually family and doctors

I have a non-verbal, autistic toddler. It breaks my heart when she wants to communicate her needs but is unable to. I appreciate so much listening to people on the spectrum share and explain their experiences. This helps me so much to better understand what might be going on with my daughter. Thank you so much for your videos!

I wish I was having meltdowns growing up. I was always really hard on myself because everyone seemed to handle things so much better than me! My children have meltdowns and I am compassionate with them whereas I was told I was overreacting or being dramatic. The more we know the better we can react. ❤

My worst meltdown lasted for 2 hours of uncontrollable crying and rocking in the fetal position. I was in a safe place, but no one knew what to do with me. They tried to hug me, but physical touch worsen the meltdown.

This video was very helpful. My son's girlfriend is on the spectrum. She's been with our family a few times when she's had a meltdown. At the time I didn't realize what was happening. We weren't sure what to do. I definitely want to learn more so I can support her and understand her better.

I feel deep sadness and fear deep down during my meltdowns. I appear angry and emotional but the anger is a mask for pain. And quite often I feel shame and guilt after meltdowns

I really appreciate that you didn't call it a disorder and called it what it *really* is: a neurological difference.

When I was growing up, my mom and I devised a signal for when I would have an emotional shut down..so I would say I was in 'my alone mood' so my parents knew I was suffering from sensory overload and let me go off by myself. At family functions, they would explain it was my 'communing with nature' when they questioned my sudden exit from gatherings. At work, I would wear headphones or go off on walks along during breaks/lunches. Since being remote, I basically make my own schedule and still get the work done..and am allowed to come to meetings only if I have something to add( we all get meeting agendas ahead of time..which even a few of my NT co workers said they would prefer as well).

I love it when my husband, who is my safe person, asks me how he can help or tells me it's going to be OK. He will listen to me and hug me gently. ❤

Thank you Taylor so much for the work you are putting in. I am a 52 year old male and I am going through the process (3rd day) of my self diagnosis. I did not realize that what I thought was avoidance was in fact a meltdown. Your ability to verbalize how I feel as well as using such a soft and kind touch to it has really helped me on my self-reflection and self-realization ❤.

Thank you so much for this channel!! I just turned 35 and realizing now I may be autistic, and it’s helping me to understand why I am the way I am.

Again, I just want to say thank you Taylor for taking the time to do all of these videos. I too am late diagnosed, I wasn't diagnosed until 3 years ago and I'm 52 now. I work in a hospital setting as a Respiratory Therapist and having a deeper understanding of myself has done so much helping me get through my day working with patients and co-workers. You've really helped me with managing my stress levels and you've also helped my wife understand me and my quarks as well... Again, Thank You.

My last meltdown was massive. And it’s actually what lead me to discover that I’m probably on the spectrum. But it happened because my family excluded me from a family event for like the millionth time and when I found out it felt like someone shot me through the heart. All I could do was sit down holding myself rocking back and forth and wailing. Fortunately, it was the catalyst to helping me find an amazing therapist and I’m on a waitlist to be tested. Idk if my family will stop excluding me if it’s confirmed. But at least I’m finally getting help to manage all of this.

You inspire me to challenge the way I think and speak about my receptivity and it's helping me feel more self-compassion and empowered. :)

After isolation we might need food and drinks, we are talking pepperoni pizza, Alaskan snow crab, 9 layer dip salsa with nachos. This is essential! If those cannot be secured, buying a gift card to a nice restaurant is another way you can help. Thank you, allistic allies!!! We will pay you back in excel spreadsheet troubleshooting and other fine brain gifts!!!

I wish my family cared enough to want to watch something like this. They didn't even say much when I was diagnosed and haven't asked any questions whatsoever since. I had to literally BEG them to watch a one hour Stanford lecture on depression after three hell deep depressions that nearly hospitalized me, and they couldn't even be bothered to do that.

Thank you for this video! Super-Duper!!! Just the sort of info I need to help my undiagnosed neighbor! She drives me crazy. I always knew she was different and it took me years to figure her out. She's 83 with no family around here, so there isn't much to be done for her. BUT!!!! I LOVE learning how I can help her. She does have meltdowns! I have become her SAFE person as it turns out. You are helping me learn how I can help her as best I can. Keep the info coming! I NEED it.

Hi, I'm new to your channel and currently in the process of being evaluated for autism spectrum (39 years old and I'm just now hearing about this and having my mind blown). When I melt down, it's usually when plans change suddenly and the day or experience I prepared for is changing. I get really overwhelmed and feel despair which at the time I know is ridiculous but I also can't stop feeling it. Then on top of that is the shame I feel because I know I'm making it hard and awkward for everyone else around me (like my wife) which causes more spiral. Even though I don't usually have a big outward expression, especially in public, I can't function because of the internal meltdown. Anyway, thanks for this video. It's so helpful.

This was so helpful to understanding myself and what I need. I am 65 and it has taken most of my life to understand myself. How I am different from others. It was truly a shock to me after I married that my husband did not process information like I did. I spend the next 17 years trying to figure out how to change myself so the marriage would work. I became suicidal. Some part of me knew that if I did not get out of my marriage I was definitely going to die. I saved myself by leaving my husband and two children, however the guilt was horrible and very destructive. Forward almost 30 years later, I am finally content with myself. I thank you for your help.

This was the most validating and productive video! Thanks so much for sharing. ive just been added to the waiting list for an autism diagnosis and your videos help me learn about myself so much in the meantime and help me explain to people around me, thank you!

It often takes me quite a bit of time to realize I'm melting down, so saying something like 'are you starting to have a meltdown?' could be helpful

Sleep right after is a must, dark room, cool ice pack in a pillow case across the forehead. I don’t set an alarm, when I wake, that’s the right amount. It’s usually 1-2 hrs each time. And then I wake rested. And don’t do any other big demands the rest of day.

47 diagnosed late last year. I've always worked hard on being the very best version of myself yet there have always been these things I can't ever do anything about, can't fix. Now so much is making sense. I'm thrilled to have this information and I have already come a long way in a short period of time since learning of my ASD. Sad I didn't have this knowledge decades ago, would have really helped. Anyway, I just wanted to thank this channel and everyone online that creates content or comments or whatever, you all have been such a help. Thank you all.

I was under the impression that meltdowns are always quite dramatlc events wlth lost of crying and screaming and rocking back and forth. This is why I thought I'd never had one. I just get very quiet and try to melt into a wall or just flee the situation as fast as I can.

I would add that dimming the lights or turning them off can help us out. At least for me I get super extra light sensitivity during/after a meltdown.

Watching this vid bc i felt super off td after a kinda bad morning. And just realized that im prolly going through meltdown/shutdown 😭 feels weird to be self aware of my tism sometimes

Thank you for your education. I watch your channel to try to learn about what my daughter is going thru. She is 14 and was just diagnosed as she is my first kid and had symptoms from early on but I was not aware of them.

I’m usually unaware that I’m having a meltdown until afterwards and then I feel horribly guilty for days, at times weeks, even months. Now that I’m in my early 30’s and that I’ve experienced much in the world I realize that they do progress in the sense that when I was a child I would hit myself and nowadays I certainly do not hit (slap myself in the face) when I’m upset. I might if someone dies sure, but not because I’ve received a bad grade in college (It took me 10 years for my brain to be ready to attend college). I suppose my point here is that my meltdowns have progressed in a positive manner in the sense that they’re less violent toward myself HOWEVER unfortunately im still unaware they’re happening until after the events and my “zone out” to process. Great video I love hearing from you keep posting!

Yeees! The meltdowns are so different in each person. My wife HATES being alone but only wants to be around me when she experiences a meltdown (she says Im her person 😂). I have to walk her through the situation and let her stem during the process. She usually tells me what's causing the meltdown and I try to fix it immediately.

Thank you for this informative video. And it is so much better coming from someone with ASD. May Abba [God] bless you, your family, and your ministry.

I loose my sense of taste if it is too loud... thank you for the video

For me at least I need to be left alone when I'm having one. Touching or trying to get me to talk makes it much much worse. I've learned to self soothe to a degree that I will be able to pull myself back much quicker alone. Last time I had one was about a year ago on a public bus. Thankfully I live in a large city and seeing a woman hysterically crying isn't that unusual and barely garnered a second glance from anyone.

OK my friend sent me this video. She didn't know I had a meltdown at work. I told her good timing. My co-worker started yelling me at work tonight. I work in a fast food restaurant. We had are dining room closed. Are Drive-Thru stayed open. It was just her and I. Well I did something wrong. And she just started yelling at me. I go on my hands and knees pulling my hair. I told her to stop yelling at me. I was banging hands on the floor and stop yelling at me. The stress of the environment wasn't helpful either just being short staffed. I have a major reaction when people yell at me. I go into a fight, flight freeze mode. I tense up. Sometimes I have a meltdown just tell the person to stop.

When I can't escape, retreat, isolate, self regulate, calm the f down: watch out. The harshness of my next words and actions could present as volatile. If I suddenly have an outburst it's because it's been boiling in here and there was no other option. Usually the person the comment/action is directed toward was the source of the straw that broke the camel's back. I have had experiences where people I was trying to be nice to, people who I was trying to explain my frazzlement to, have repeated my words as a question with a giggle. Me: I need you to move your cart forward a few more inches because I can't for my wheelchair and the cart in this very limited self checkout area. Them: giggling, scoffing, coughingly repeating what I said word for word as if I studdard. Then they add 'you could have asked' Me: I don't know how Them: showing their ignorance they, in a similar way but now louder repeat AGAIN what I just said Me: NO!!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW!!!!! now half of Wal-Mart is wondering wtf happened and why is a grown woman yelling so loud 😢 three employees swarm the area to make sure things don't continue to escalate 😢 me (in a manual wheelchair) try to storm off to the other checkout area while also trying to process the lights and noise of the store. I couldn't. I couldn't handle one more anything. I wanted to scream. Yelling burst from me in that moment. I didn't know I was going to react that way. It was involuntary and embarrassing. They both (an adult daughter and her father) commented "rude" with a harsh scoff. I had lost control. 😭 Now I was desperate to leave. You could see my entire body shaking. I was trying to breathe with every pore of my body. My bones were desperate for air from their centers. The employees stepped back. They gave me the space i needed and watched indirectly from a distance. I was able to quickly check out and get to my vehicle. Until that day I didn't know how I would act in that situation. I don't ever so at Walmart during peak times now. I shop the last hour or hour and a half or the first hour. I had no idea there was a part of me that could speak like that. It was like a roar that came from every part of me simultaneously but with clearly formed words. Please don't be "sorry for my experience" I'm sharing for informational purposes. My body has a very real memory of that feeling. I feel it every time I think of it, like right now. I feel the way every fiber of my being expressed those words " NO!!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW!!!!! " I remember the shame afterwards but it's not a part of that roar that happened. It felt very empowering to speak with that much power though. Like even my bone marrow got to speak out in that moment. At least I know I CAN live through it. I hope you learn something from this.

This was very helpful. My sister who is in denial and masking has recently gone thru almost all of these melt down actions you described with me and what I call “Twisting” it back on me as the problem. Highly intolerable of me and others. I also saw childhood traumas come out too. I’m not sure how to address or support her but she has not admitted to herself yet.

When I pick it's because there's so much pressure in my skin that when I get whatever is pressuring me out it feels so good. And the blood thing isn't about pain. It's beautiful.

Such a good idea for a video, my fiancé is always asking me what he can do to help with my meltdowns, as I seem to have a lot of triggers at the moment. Agreed with a lot, the only thing is that personally I wouldn't like to be called reactive (in the UK it seems more like an insult) and I don't mind the word sensitive, because family members would use this word in a nice way to defend me ❤

Hi Taylor, it was really refreshing to learn about your channel and hear about the various topics. I am in my late 50s and I was not diagnosed as on the spectrum until my early '50s. So unfortunately I went a large portion of my life with not really knowing what my story was. I always knew I was a little bit different than most people and I would do with the neurotypical people considered strange behaviors. I've always known I was. I believe you use the term reactive to the environment. Personally, I don't really object to a term like hypersensitive or something. My whole life I've always fidgeted with things and particularly if I got nervous I would drum and tap on things and I never really understood why and I would have that flight fright or freeze response. Most of the time I would freeze but there were times in my life where I would fight both physically and verbally. Anyway, I probably going on too long with this but I definitely thank you for having this channel and I'm going to watch your other videos and pay more attention to you and some of the other people that have these channels relating to autism. The thing that really hurt is when I told my mom about my diagnosis that I was. You know on the autism spectrum she acted like it was some horrible thing like some kind of kiss of death and she said something like that's wrecked so many people's lives or something like that. And I of course was hurting offended. But on the other hand, she's 95 years old and not really in touch with reality too much. Again, thank you and forgive my long message. Please have a nice day

Trauma also can trigger meltdowns, and also everything related to the trauma, even words or expressions or smell can provoque them…

My daughter is on the spectrum. She is 27 and high functioning but struggles with some adult things. Who doesn't? I am 49 and have had the traits of being on the spectrum since small. I was forced to mask for at least 40 of those years. I have not been diagnosed but my psychiatrist said that I would classify as high functioning autistic. I also have some mental health diagnoses. My daughter is helping me to see when I might be close to a meltdown and how to best respond. My husband has started to see when I might be having a meltdown. Since he has learned what helps me, it gives me a feeling of safety. I also have found items (fidgets, and movements that help.

As a person now seeking official diagnosis after selfdiagnosing ASD, married to other person who I'm (and she is) 99% sure is on the spectrum - this explains so much about way we 'argue' (however rarely that happens)... Thank you, I'm sure it'll help a lot if it happens ever again - understanding both my own, and my wife's reactions.

Isolation, especially after intense interaction, always.

*i love the video It's hard to explain to others what is happening or what's going on in our heads when we meltdown but i want to add is my leg shakes a lot. Ive always doing it with out recognizing it and others notice when it gets bad but i never say anything. I was brought up to sit still and dont be emotional so i had to keep it in and my leg was the only thing that did get me in trouble.

Virtual hugs to everyone here.

This was great! Thank you. I hope you do one for shutdowns as well

Thank you very much, especially with regard to replacing disorder with sensitivity. :)

I had a coworker that had the hearing issue. Now that I have seen this video and if I had known back then I would have told management what to do. Dammit! I feel so bad now. Where I worked was the perfect environment for her. The moved me to her physical space. Wow!

So I find it super helpful for me and my daughter (we are both Autistic, Daddy is not) to have a calm down bag/box ready and available. I take mine with me in the car when we are out and have it by my bedside as well. I also find it helpful to have capacity bracelets especially in times that I am non verbal or times when I cannot tolerate touch.

I have been processing this for while now. On and off I realize again; I’m not all the negative traits I’ve always been/still get told- I just am different. I genuinely am ADHD/Autistic. Every single female characteristics I have. Every single one. It answers so many things. Ahh this video too!!’ I feel sad right now because this has been my whole life. I masked for so many years. I am 42 and only started truly researching this for me the past 2 years. Rec’d ADHD combined ex when I was 30, but they didn’t mention autistic and I didn’t think about it back then. You’re videos have seriously helped me identify so many things I’ve not been able to explain and for me this is overwhelming right now haha❤❤❤❤

"Emotionally immature" is a term that seems to be spreading like wildfire and I feel like it's even turning into a buzzword for the dating pool as well. It's almost as if it's becoming a rubber stamp

Monotone voices are SO physically strenuous to focus on!

Bold of you to talk about nail picking....as I'm picking at my nails🤣🤣🤣jkjk

Thanks. I am self diagnosed, although several professionals feel I fit the old "Aspergers' diagnosis. As a women it is extra hard. I've had two kids on the spectrum.

Thanks for sharing this video and having this channel. Is having symptoms of Intermittent Explosive Disorder or breaking stuff is something common in folks with this situation? I really believe being open and getting diagnosis early on, helps the partners or school staff to help the folks better. My wife exhibits such symptoms but didn't really show any interest in getting a diagnosis and our kid is having similar shut down situations in school, being super sensitive or having sensory overload but my wife constantly blames the school staff instead of trying to find the root cause because she strongly believes all of her negative feelings or our son is caused by the society and others and they need to change. It's not about changing a person or society or finding who's behavior is right or wrong, it's about acknowledging why we behave certain way and being open about it and seeking help. You are so open about the stuff that you even put them on RU-vid but some folks are even so negative about having a private consultation with a shrink or Dr regarding their feelings or hyper reactions or anger or sensitivity to very simple easy things for average person. Thanks

I think this is a critically important topic to discuss, especially in the wake of the Jordan Neely murder. Neely was autistic, but I haven’t heard any speculation that he may have been having a meltdown when he was killed. In fact, his neurotype seems to be completely ignored by most news sources.

I got "You are such a Drama Queen!! Quit it!" But often my ears hurt from loud sounds that bother others not at all, or only a little. A fire drill is a nightmre for me. I would gladly run outside. But because i now live where a majority of residents use walkers, the instructions were to go in the hall between firedoors ( where alarms continued to echo) and wait for directions. I was glad i happened to have foam earplugs with me, but swimmer's earplugs would be better able to damp out sound.

I just realised my stem is moving from side to side, it's very comforting for me

I have AuDHD and I kinda forgot to listen to most of what you said. Sorry. But the video did prompt me to contact a psychyatrist regarding getting the actual diagnosis of Autism, so thank you :)

I had a meltdown today trying to tell an automated phone robot or computer what I was trying to do. I literally had a angry cursing meltdown over nothing really. It didn't work because used the wrong words.

I tend to be sensitive to touch and sound during these moments and so i stay silent with noise reduction headphones and wring my hands repeatedly until i feel better. I mentioned my shutdowns to my therapist a few days ago and she said, "well why won't you try speaking to people when this happens" 😐 Well gee golly doctor, i havent thought if that.

Hi! My son and I can get triggered off of each other - say I startled him by yelling out the window at someone to say hi...he would freeze then retreat to his room and cry. I apologize but then feel so bad that I didn't remember not to yell that I feel like a really bad mother and then I hide in the bathroom and start crying (I also have CPTSD so its a snowball effect). How do I support him and support myself at the same time? I now try not to suggest breathing (it doesn't help) or ask him questions but just try to sit by him quietly BUT that's when my trigger starts up! I'm 50 and recently dx, and was dx with ADHD 5 years ago. Love your channel, thanks so much!

I can't understand what people are saying if there are multiple audio inputs, in particular multiple conversations such as the TV on, my daughter talking, and my wife talking to me. I frustrate her but I literally can't process what she's saying to me.

I am 48 and was just diagnosed a week ago. Sadly, I have never been able to safely have a meltdown. My parents punished me for anything and everything; stimming was done in secret. I was lazy, a daydreamer, rebellious, etc. My now husband doesn't understand me either. All I have ever wanted was for someone to understand the real me, and I don't think that will ever happen. It's lovely reading some of the comments where people have the support and understanding of loved ones.

Thank you, for not calling it a disorder. 1:51 wow.. i never thought about my chronic pain as being a lead to a melt down. 😮 Just a thought i had. I dont feel pain right. It has to be a 10 for me to notice. But if my body is feeling it... Yeah thays all i got. Divers response. I think its called, for helping a meltdown.

I cried watching this video. I was recently diagnosed and my family isnt receiving it well.

ew, for me they are totally emotionally immature. im an introvert and i have autistic meltdowns but i never show it to people. good luck with you guys, i hope you get to find a way to tone it down publicly

Could I please request one of these videos for meltdowns triggered by the delivery of ‘happy news’ from loved ones that will result in big changes to the relationship dynamic with that person, eg. new relationships, babies, engagements, etc. The meltdowns are interpreted as being selfish/unsupportive/dramatic and can put major strain on those relationships. Not sure if others are in the same boat? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hello Taylor I to am on the autism spectrum and I have suffered from many meltdowns through the years my most recent one was after an eye exam which didn't go well due to the test results my doctor thought that I might have a tumor on my pituitary gland so after the appointment I went back to the waiting area and just fell apart right there next to the check in desk. Luckily it didn't last long and one of the nurses who is a friend of mine came out to check on me to make sure that I was alright and also brought me a glass of water so after everything was said and done my doctor ordered a MRI of my brain to check for the tumor and luckily I didn't have any tumors on my brain or anywhere else

I broke free, I have ADHD and autism. It took 4 days for them both to come out full force!! 52 years of masking and suppressing. People don't recognize me as the same person!!😎 I am going to write a paper on everything I feel as I try and slow down the peaks. Thanks for your helpful videos.👍😎👻🌶️

I didn’t realize before but when I feel like this I tell my husband that I’m overwhelmed. Usually he asks softly if I’m doing ok. I ask why and he says I looked spacey, or had a certain look on my face, or seem overwhelmed. Usually he offers me food. ❤ Then asks if I want to talk or be touched. I do wish this term would be ditched, though. Words like meltdown and stim are so derogatory and infantilizing/dehumanizing.

With the Neuro difference; I enjoy thinking of it similarly to phone operating systems!

I dropped out of college because of this it was just too embarrassing as a adult to have tantrum like symptoms . Idk what I’m going to do

My thoughts are as follows, People often say they have a migraine as a descriptive but if they where having an actual migraine odds are they would be in the fetal position or throwing up... they just have a bad headache with milder symptoms... Headaches are a spectrum though but migraines have a very definitive set of symptoms . From Stephen Wiltshire to Albert Einstein is how broad the Autism spectrum can be and we should admit it is not definitive and it is not understood well at all ... for instance autistic and schizotypal phenotypes share many common traits. A person with schizotypal would test positive for Autism with todays diagnostics. Where as a schizotypal would try and associate abstract patterns to match, a person with autism is more likely associating like patterns during mental analysis of a subject. Almost all of the other traits match though. (A dyslexic would probably type a rather broad and disjointed response like I am doing now. and edit, re-read it, change all the P's he ment to be B's to try and make it legible) An Autistic, A dyslexic and a schizotypal walk into a doctors office... Anyway it's fine to self diagnose just understand that these are not always well defined terms and autism is the least defined. Wasn't historically that long ago we were drilling holes in peoples heads to let out evil spirits . the science of the human mind is not even fractionally close to being understood. Also that Bingo card describes most people in one way or another and reminds of the click bait surveys that want to know what scooby-do character you are. Sincerely, Velma

YES, YES, YES & YES to All!!!!

Thanks!

Too much sound, very brightly lit rooms, too many people - cannot do them.

that fidget toy looks great but it also looks like it's packaged in the one type of styrofoam I have tactile sensitivity to😅

Guys I was eating a watermelon watching this video. I put a piece in my mouth and it fell out. I freaking forgot to close my mouth🤣 I’m rolling with laughter here

Excellent video, thank you!

After i rewatch potentially embarrassing videos my nervous system is able to calm down & see it in a way that's not that big of a deal. I personally think the scenario I'll be watching is potentially hurtful or embarrassing or would be to me if it were me in the video, but since the 2 people i see are enjoying the moment more than not then it becomes not bad in any of those ways... only potentially if seen that way

How anyone dosn't cry or stops themselves from crying is foreign to me

I actually need some insider info please. I have been told that if someone remembers that they had a meltdown and is happy and grateful that it’s over (even though they’re exhausted) it wasn’t a meltdown. Is that in line with personal experiences?

I usually cry and tremble when having a meltdown and it won’t stop. Has anyone experienced pain after a meltdown? Not right afterwards but about two or three days later. I am not sure if this was caused by the meltdown, but I had pain in my foot twice after having a meltdown.

I've found that immediately before a meltdown people sound like they're quacking like ducks when they talk? Does anyone else have that experience?

My locam grocery store recently repainted their parking lot to where the lines were so much brighter, it felt like the lines were screaming at me in a high-pitched tone. I couldn't shop there for a while.

Very helpful. I believe that I was always autistic (Labelled as overly sensitive, shy, introverted, etc) but I had a head injury from a high-speed rear end car accident and that has just fried my nervous system. Of course, lockdowns and the plandemic didn’t help. These days, I seem to have meltdowns, PTSD episodes daily so I am feeling really frustrated, not knowing how to get on top of this. I’m always more ‘sensitive’ in the evenings when my brain is fatigued and that’s the time when my partner wants to spend time with me and all I want to do is to isolate myself to attempt to regulate. Any tips would be much appreciated.

I work in a stressful customer service position and this is not a good position for an autistic person... At least not for me.... I just recently realized that I am on the autistic spectrum and have been since I can remember when I was young and it always came across as oh you're being overdramatic over sensitive you're a spoiled brat And I was punished for it so I tried to hide a lot however I have a very short fuse... And that is triggered by feeling overwhelmed when things are urgent and they're multiple Things to think about and trying to assist the situation..... Working remote has been much better for me to step away from my desk and the phone to be able to turn on the TV and sit and breathe for a few minutes..... When I melt down I literally cannot even think it's like being in a crowded room with everybody talking and I get paralyzed in my thoughts..... I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety when I went through depression in 1995 but I always felt it was something more than just that I never even thought of the word autism until I started digging into it and boy or boy do I realize I am on the spectrum trying to live in a normal corporate type setting.... It's been so difficult for me and peopreally I don't think like me because I'm very direct and it comes across sometimes it's being rude but being an introvert itself I don't like small talk I just want to cut to the chase which is very odd for a woman that's more for a man women or more naturally chatty I have to force myself to be chatty... I so appreciate all this information because it is a relief to know that I'm not crazy I'm not this horrible person I'm trying to contain all this electricity within my brain that messes with my thought patterns it's so odd.... Thank you again for sharing all you do it's very helpful❤

Thank you!

I can't focus on special interests. I have Palmer hyperhidrosis

I am quite new to recognising meltdowns and shutdowns in myself and other adults. Do you have a video about how to recognise when you're having one? I know that when I'm upset, I become mute and I want to spend time alone. I didn't think that I stimmed until I realised that I still chew my index finger and thumb at the age of 52, typically when I can't decide what to do. I also pick at my skin. I recently witnessed a friend who's just been diagnosed have a strange episode in a bar. He started making strange faces and he appeared to be in pain, and he couldn't speak or control it. I didn't know how to help him, so I just stayed with him, and suggested we moved to a quiet area of the bar. He said later that he thought that he was overstimulated in the busy bar, and hadn't been able to release the tension any other way than his involuntary facial tics. I wish I'd known what to do to help him, as was very distressed and embarrassed.

I'm starting to think my guitar is my fidget spinner. I can think more clearly when I'm playing it.... even when it isn't plugged in.

what do you do when they become destructive /dangerous/self-destructive?

Huh…I always thought my need for isolating when I got overwhelmed was a different issue, same with anxiety and depression…and what I thought was lack of motivation. After seeing some other pieces of the puzzle, like seeing the meme of being in the gifted class in 1st grade, I think I may be autistic. Masking…hyper focus…not sharing experiences and feelings…especially if it was something traumatic or embarrassing. Well, it’s good to learn the why.

With the multiple streams of conversation making you zone out, have you found a good way to deal with your children? Because having a meal with kids is the definition of multiple streams of conversation!😅 My autistic husband zones out, though. He hates it so much, and it comes across as him hating to spend time with me and the children. I'd very much appreciate ideas for how to help him with this. I really feel like it's not an unreasonable thing to have a cheerful meal where it's okay for a kid to talk about his day, and also pass the milk to his sister and for me to help another kid spread the butter. But... Maybe it is? If so, what other way can he participate in family life? This system we have now, where his misery leaks out into the atmosphere and I don't dare introduce another topic just in case it's too much, is not healthy.

I am 34 just as you are! I haven’t got diagnosed but I am very sure that I am on the spectrum. I have been told by not only you but other that I need to get tested/diagnosed. But just recently I was told I shouldn’t because on e I was diagnosed I would be instantly put into a box or under a label as being autistic and that that could have a negative effect on my life. The people around me may view me as ‘autistic’ or ‘less than’. What are your thoughts on this?

I was always told I was too sensitive😔

How do i talk to my gp about me having autism? Can relate to everything and its been in my mind for years now, but got isolated trying to find help and been alone for years with no social network or help at all. Dealing with ptsd and depression also alone for all those years.

heck all my exs who called me drama queen.