Autistic Not Alien | My Autism Assessment

Подписаться 963

50% 1

I received my autism diagnosis at 41 years old. I’m hugely relieved to finally know why I experience certain challenges, but the relief comes from my own research and understanding of autism.
As I explain in this video, the official assessment process for me was, unfortunately, not a positive one. However, yours might be different. If you need official recognition of your autism in order to get support, and you are fortunate to live somewhere with autism services, I would still encourage you to seek a diagnosis.
This video is just one story out of millions. The more autistic voices are heard, the more likely it is that our differences will be seen as differences and not deficiencies. We’re in a minority but that doesn’t mean we’re in the wrong.
(Apologies for the picture quality - believe it or not, I filmed this in the morning, but it was so grey outside. The two bedside lamps I used could not sufficiently replicate daylight. Therefore, any suggestions for improving my lighting setup, without spending a fortune, would be greatly appreciated!)
Twitter: / neillaurenson
Website: neillaurenson.... (Poetry, politics, and other random musings.)
Other RU-vid: / @neillaurenson1270 (A medley of music, poetry, podcast episodes, and attempts at humour.)
Soundcloud: / vitalphaze (House music made in the house.)
For brilliant, honest, and helpful autistic content, watch @Adult with Autism: / @adultwithautism
For enquiries and general contact, email: autisticnotalien@gmail.com
Credits:
Photos in video by Christin Hume, Luiga Manga, Milad Fakurian, and Tetiana Grypachevska; astronaut photo by Brian McGowan - all at unsplash.com/

Опубликовано:

28 сен 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 36

@stephensaspergerssyndromec5662 8 месяцев назад

Interesting how you mention reciprocity. I personally find medical doctors to be some of the worst people for social skills. Despite my Aspergers/Autism, I can have more productive conversations with random people in the street than I can with most doctors.

@AutisticNotAlien 8 месяцев назад

I get frustrated with doctors who seem to forget that I'm a human being, not just a problem to solve. And they say autistic people are devoid of empathy! I

@halfpintpuppets 9 месяцев назад

Whatever your assessment may turn out to be, or whatever led you to have one done, I hope you don't change from the most enjoyable personality and humor and humanity that I see in your video! It seem that your assessor could use some advice on "how to be a more interesting human" from YOU.

@AutisticNotAlien 9 месяцев назад

Thank you very much for taking the time to share such kind and encouraging comments. You've made my day.

@cowsonzambonis6 6 месяцев назад

I’m so sorry- that report was horribly written! I love the second one you mentioned at the end instead- there’s nothing wrong with anyone with ASC- we think in a “splendid” way! 🎉

@AutisticNotAlien 6 месяцев назад

Thank you. Yes, the second report is amazing, isn't it? Words and framing mean so much.

@servadac42 7 месяцев назад

I can really relate to this. My assessment report was awful to read and it made me feel so bad I had a meltdown. I thought the psycholigist was nice and respectful to me during the assessment, which made me feel so betrayed the way she described me in writing. I also got the comment that I didn’t engage in small talk…! Like seriously, I am there solely for the assessment! Do they expect you to start talking about the weather?

@AutisticNotAlien 6 месяцев назад

Thank you for sharing this, and sorry you had an almost identical experience to the one I had. My assessment made me feel like a defective person - *not* what I wanted after waiting for an appointment that would have been useful at least 30 years ago.

@flamingohead27 9 месяцев назад

Thank you for sharing this experience. Also, why does it take a professional to tell us what we already know? It blows my mind. Like thanks tell me something I don't know. Thanks again.

@AutisticNotAlien 9 месяцев назад

Yes, it would have been helpful to learn something. Instead, I received negative judgements that seemed to be based on an outdated and ill-informed autism manual for psychologists. But, as I hinted at in the video, there are psychologists out there who understand autism and who are prepared to treat autists as different & valid human beings instead of people who are bad at being 'normal'.

@ruchabodas1777 9 месяцев назад

I disagree with the assesser saying your face was inexpressive. I thought you were plenty expressive, what with the body language, head tilts, eyes and pitch intonations in your voice. I'm currently on my self-diagnosis journey and it helps to watch/talk to autistic people. It occurs to me now that the "micro-expressions" (let's use the mainstream term I guess) I caught, most people do not catch. Perhaps they might with your camerawork, sound effects and editting (nice work btw), because they direct where to pay attention better. But even irl, "microexpressions" are so obvious to me, I personally wouldn't call them microexpressions. I probably should get a proper diagnosis so that I can avoid misdiagnoses of personality disorders. That was my experience, I ditched a therapist & a pyschiatrist (had gone in for depression). I first went in for therapy. In the second session she directed me to a psychiatrist. In all of 2 appointments, the psychiatrist decided I had a PD. I'm annoyed that I didn't get help and neither of them listened to what I was saying. Just made snap judgements without getting to know me. Thanks for the video! 👍

@AutisticNotAlien 9 месяцев назад

Good luck with your self-diagnosis journey. I watched loads of autism RU-vid videos over several months before realising that I'm autistic (as I said in my first video, it was the Autism From The Inside '9 Positive Traits of Autism' video that was my penny-drop moment). I had to wait 15 months after that for my formal assessment, then another three months for *that* report. I guess one of the problems of an assessment is precisely what you said about appointments you have had: snap judgements are made without getting to know you, though appointments are, by definition, only snapshots. The alternative would be to observe you and speak with you over the course of a day, or a week, or even a month or a year! Re. your point about my (in)expressive face. I'm afraid to say that in the video, my expressions are rehearsed. The whole thing is scripted, whereas in my appointment, all my thoughts just came tumbling out, unfiltered. When I'm not doing a RU-vid video, my face is mostly still, and my voice is a quiet monotone. Those features aren't generally compatible with entertaining RU-vid content, so I have confess that, in the videos, I exaggerate and amplify to make the points I want to make.

@chrismaxwell1624 4 месяца назад

Not being perceived as have facial expression is just the assessor's inability to recognize ND facial language outside the their narrow definition of accepted facial expressions. These assessors also fail miserably with people from other cultures too as I've seen happen.

@tiffanylbacon 2 дня назад

We wouldn’t need support if the neurotypical world wasn’t so f’ed up. The fact that NT’s see us as “sick/mentally ill” is the first of many issues. Why is it such a problem that we are different? Why can’t the NT world be curious instead of so judgmental? This is how I feel finding out I’m autistic 3 months ago. I also have ADHD (diagnosed 2023) and CPTSD.

@AutisticNotAlien 2 дня назад

I received an ADHD diagnosis in January this year. I only started considering it after my autism diagnosis and having spent two years doing a deep dive into autism. You are so right about the neurotypical world. I'm going to use my height analogy again: I'm 5 "5. If someone else is 6"7, am I the 'correct' version of a person or are they? Everyone knows the answer. It's the same for autistic people. With late diagnosis comes a sort of rebellion, a sort of delayed moody teenager period: "Well, NOW I'm going to do things MY way, especially because I'm *still* being pathologised by people who refuse to accept difference despite them having the audacity to accuse autistic people of wanting everything to be the same."

@InterDivergent 20 дней назад

This is rather comedic, albeit in a disturbing way. Really resonated with why Autistic Enthusiasm is so difficult to appreciate. It's always taken as an I'm better than you reply, when we are just trying to share and show how we connect and relate to an experience.

@AutisticNotAlien 19 дней назад

It annoys me that people interpret my knowledge sharing as an ego trip. I'm autistic and traumatised - how could I even contemplate being superior to anyone?

@gwynstuart Месяц назад

This video was great. Some of it quite funny and then other times quite heartbreaking. It made me glad that it is difficult to find a qualified clinician for proper assessment where I live. Besides, I have heard that the process is extremely time consuming and very very expensive. I have taken several tests already online. And I have been watching many videos on RU-vid of autistic people describing their childhood and adulthood experiences, for several months now. At this point I have absolutely no doubt that I am autistic. The idea of this in the beginning was depressing. But after a few weeks I began to accept it. And now I feel like I understand so much of my weirdness as a child and even still now as an adult. My brain just processes things differently. I’ve decided I’m okay with that. Besides it’s brought me even closer to my grandson who was diagnosed as autistic when he was much younger. And as for my earlier desire to have myself diagnosed properly, I’m no longer interested. I am content to remain “self diagnosed”.

@AutisticNotAlien Месяц назад

‘My brain just processes things differently’ - YES! That’s autism. Without the realisation that you’re autistic, you’re likely to feel shame for not being like most people. I grieve for the decades of my life in which I didn’t know I was autistic and believed I was just weird. Self-recognition is absolutely valid. I didn’t need an official diagnosis to know I’m autistic, and given the negative experience I had, I almost wish I didn’t ask for an assessment (I say ‘almost’, because the official diagnosis has been helpful for seeking reasonable adjustments at work). I love the fact that knowing you’re autistic has brought you closer to your grandson.

@ruchabodas1777 9 месяцев назад

Love the snark 😅 It feels like they regurgitated all of the stereotypes onto the report

@AutisticNotAlien 9 месяцев назад

Glad you enjoyed the snark - it's one of my coping mechanisms! Yes, the stereotypes are still being trotted out. Challenging/correcting them is another reason I set up the channel.

@ruchabodas1777 9 месяцев назад

@@AutisticNotAlien I guess if the stereotypes help get accomodations, all is well maybe? Hmm I see there is potential to use the stereotypes as a tool. Makes them bearable I suppose. Whatever works you know? 🤷‍♀️

@AutisticNotAlien 9 месяцев назад

If getting support/accommodations is the goal of an assessment, then you could argue that acting according to autism stereotypes is a tactic. However, I had no strategy for my own assessment, other than to tell my truth.@@ruchabodas1777

@ruchabodas1777 9 месяцев назад

@@AutisticNotAlien tbf I would have also gone in to speak my truth, if I didn't know anything about assessments. But after seeing the results of your experience, I can't unsee the potential of using stereotypes to my advantage. Which makes me think what's the point of an assessment if I can manipulate it. What's the point of going in for therapy if I can just manipulate them. I need someone who can see through all of the faces I put on.

@AutisticNotAlien 9 месяцев назад

@@ruchabodas1777 I get what you're saying, but I didn't for one moment think I should be anything other than my authentic, monotonous, rambling self.

@feralnonbinaryautistic 28 дней назад

Surely the whole point of an assessment appointment is to get to the assessing asap? I would not expect to engage in chit chat with my Rheumatologist - don't see why a Psychologist would be any different. Always feels like a slap in the face when you realise what neurotypicals value - and it isn't anything remotely valuable. My diagnostic report complements me on how well I mask. (I was 53 at the time, so had had several decades of practice under my belt.) 🤣 My suggestion to improve assessment reports for high masking, late diagnosed, people is that they should come with a high-level acting award, akin to an Oscar, and a PhD in Social Anthropology. At least then we'd have something to show for what we've been doing all our lives. /s

@AutisticNotAlien 27 дней назад

I was so utterly baffled by the comment about my conversational skills. Autistic Jenny makes a similar point in her excellent video about her diagnosis.

@autisticjenny 7 месяцев назад

Yaasss. Good video. You also made me laugh with your humor. Subscribed! I want to say that I totally understand about wondering why the interview requires us inquire about the person interviewing us! LOL Blew me away when she brought that up to me.

@AutisticNotAlien 7 месяцев назад

You nailed it - why should I ask the assessor about them when I'm in an appointment that is meant to be *all about me*? Why can't I have a conversational me moment for a change (or, in my case, two and a half hours rather than a moment)?

@grooviechickie 17 дней назад

I got to "you preferred not to wear clothes as a child" and REALLY felt your pain. 😂 My mum just loves to tell anyone and everyone about how she'd dress me, put me in the car (early 1970s, no seatbelts back then), and by the time we got to the supermarket, I'd be completely naked. I swear even the postman knows this.

@AutisticNotAlien 16 дней назад

I didn't know this was an autistic trait, nor do I remember disliking clothes. I love clothes now - specifically, very comfortable & plain clothes.

@grooviechickie 16 дней назад

@@AutisticNotAlien I'm not sure if it's a trait but I remember being very sensitive to some clothing. I still am but I no longer strip in the car. I'm self-diagnosed and still unsure if I should get a formal assessment.

@AutisticNotAlien 14 дней назад

@@grooviechickie I think you should only get a formal assessment if you believe it would help make your life easier, whether that be through reasonable adjustments at work or simply convincing people to understand and appreciate your autistic self. Self-recognition is valid.

@AdultwithAutism 9 месяцев назад

Fancy talking about yourself in your own Autism assessment! Due to my antagonistic nature, I wouldn't be able to help but write them a letter back based on how they were perceived through the assessment against their incorrect Nuerotypical perspective. It is horrible when you spend so much time understanding Autism, and then get put in front of someone who just thinks they know about Autism...yet they are the ones who make decisions that can impact someone's life. Great video 👍🏻

@AutisticNotAlien 9 месяцев назад

Thank you so much, Paul. You're the 2nd person to suggest that I write a letter to my assessor! It's very frustrating to be judged in such a reductive manner. I do understand the remit of the autism service, but my experience was awful: waiting period - walking into the assessment centre - receiving my report. However, as I said in the video, my experience was just my experience. Like you, I want to help people realise their true self and make changes so that they can live their happiest life.