I was so surprised with this show! It was so emotional, powerful and haunting to watch. What did you think of it? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
Same, was just browsing netflix last night and found this aeries by chance. Started watching with no expectations and it was just so good I couldn't stop watching. It's so raw and all the characters are so rounded up, real. There were a few instances where I'd think (as it happens when watching a movie) - why didn't you explain more to the police, if you were dating a therapist why didn't she think to send you to see a specialist etc.. it was cool that the narrator addressed a part of those questions - why he did not do the most obviously rational thing. I also sort of ended up feeling a tad bit sorry for Martha, but then she'd get irrationally mad. Put on the subtitles to read her emails easier. Really cracked up at those really mad email that would be signed off with "from iphone"/ "ihphone"
Yeah it's a hidden gem for sure. I totally get what you mean. I saw an interview with Richard Gadd and he said how it was created to not go all in one one side and push certain viewpoints or agendas. So I suppose they wanted us to see her as a human as well who had her own issues that she had to deal with and impacted her life in a certain way
@@lovecrycrystal Unfortunately the Catholic church has a long history of abusing children. Especially boys at church, Sunday school, many orphanages were run by the Catholic church.
There is a lot of truth in having such low self-esteem that you let the wrong people in your life. You are attracted to the flattering you receive, even a tiny bit but abuse you 99% of the time. You hold on to the 1% as that means the world to you. It is terrifyingly raw and real acting. The human mental health is real.
Really reminds me of a story I heard of a father asking a convict for advice about how to raise his daughter. "Tell her you love her, because if you don't, someone else will, and she'll believe the lie."
Just finished the show. Thought it was fantastic. I’m not sure that it really has a message or a moral. It was really about the psychological effects of abuse. There were several moments where I questioned Donny’s decision making but after the flashback episode it began to make more sense why he would act the way he would. At first it seemed like he just had a total lack of assertiveness and wanted to avoid confrontation with Martha due to sympathy. It got to the point where his agreeableness was frustrating. but by the end it was clear that there was more to it. Donny got something out of Martha’s admiration for him and the root cause was the abuse he suffered. Learning at the end that Martha was abused as a child and that she kept a reindeer toy for comfort made me see the story in a completely different way. Yes, she was a stalker but she was abused herself. She got comfort from Donny and the root cause of her obsession with him was ultimately her abuse. As I said I don’t think there is an intended moral. Donny wasn’t a flawless protagonist and Martha wasn’t a comic book villain. No other show which I have seen has shown the complexities involved with sexual abuse, grooming and stalking in such a unapologetic and often disturbing way. The performances were great too. Anyways I don’t think I’ve ever written such a long comment so I’ll shut up now
@@Jane_Doe_8909 it was in the last episode when she was taking in the voicemail about how she was neglected as a child but kept a stuffed baby reindeer for comfort.
i think that the meaning of the end is that donny realizes that he did nothing wrong ; he was just being nice like the bartender at the end, just what nice, normal people do. i think he's realizing that at the end, the whole stalking situation is not his fault. he was just being nice.
I think it's something different. At the end he finds himself exactly like Martha when he first met her : crying and the bartender offers him to pay. He then suddenly understand, now that he knows more about Martha's own trauma HOW his kindness touched her so much, how she might have developed this obsession. He saw himself in her shoes. It's like *anyone* in a difficult time would be delighted to be offered a drink at a bar, and remember that person for some time, but imagine what it could turn into for a really traumatized, trouble, lonely, fragile and unstable individual ? Martha was probably never shown healthy love or love at all so she thought his gesture was what love was about! Edit : she is also obviously struggling with erotomania, look into it it's a paranoid delusional disorder.
“Some people run away by packing their bags and leaving and others by staying in the same place” this show made me reflect on my own life and traumas and it made me realize that everyone has once had/or have a Martha in their life whether it be a person or thing or job sometimes we pursue something all while knowing of the destruction it’s capable of. This made me feel and remember that pain demands to be felt or else you’ll always end up in situations like these whether it be literal or not 😊
not everyone have a martha in their life. in fact most people are responsible for creating people like Martha, then gaslight and place all the blame on people like her
No clue how the creator had the strength to go through this again by taking on the main role. But I appreciate seeing this story and him sharing everything.
I don't think he could have even allowed it. The story is so personal. He's lived and relived, told and retold it so many times. It would feel wrong to have someone else act it out and perhaps miss the nuance, the raw, direct experience of it. I would have wanted to act it myself if it had happened to me.
He hated himself more than he could love Terri.... that’s literally the most relatable thing and sums up me and why I can’t keep a relationship or friendship because everything that goes alone with me hating myself takes priority like sorry I’m busy in a shame/depression spiral I can’t come to the phone right now.
I know. That scene hit me like a brick. Hating myself is ruining every aspect of my life. To the point where I can barely keep friends, family, partners or even a steady job 😢
Exercise helped immensely with this. I dunno why, but going outside for half hour walks just affects your moods dramatically. Hating yourself shouldn't be your normal, no matter how terrifying the idea of breaking the habit may be. I have faith that both of you can overcome this, however slowly, just as I am.
I honestly never cried harder than when he said "I loved hating myself more than I loved her. And I love her so f*cking much" Brought some deep memories back and made me confront shit myself and if thatbwas the aim of the show then congrats!
hearing that makes so much sense why i felt lonely most of the time, in so busy hating myself i have no spoons nor space for love to flow in and yet idk if i can even offer myself the same sympathy the same way i can reach out to other people
I just binge watched Baby Reindeer and the series is going to help me process my personal traumas better. I can feel it. I have never felt so understood or been able to make this much sense of myself by watching something. And knowing that there are so many people that will gain as much as I did, and feel like they can relate like I can, makes me feel less alone. I am very grateful.
Stop it. I'm sorry you had personal trauma but finding refuge in this shit of a show is very crazy. If you find Hollywood therapeutic in any way, you need to be worried about your mental health.
@@buttnugget6236 Aren't you a smart one!?😂 What part of this being a true story evaded you?🤔 Hollywood tends not to be based on fact, much less despict the lived experience of the lead! The dunce hat for this comment section goes to you!😁😂🎉
@@buttnugget6236No, you need to stop. Quit being rude and maybe learn some manners. Being anonymous on the internet does not excuse every unfriendly comment.
i dont have words to describe how fucking good this show was , the lead actors role especially and to find out that it was based on his real experiences , it took me on a journey through my own traumas and how confusing it all can be , cried so much through it but its hauntingly real and one of if not the best show ive ever watched
For me the most heartbreaking scene was, when he went back to his abuser after such a long time and he fell into his old pattern again. I kind of understand why people often go back to their abusers, but I also wonder why. Can someone explain the psychology behind that?
This confused me too. I thought he was going there to face his abuser and tell him how he messed him up and possibly report the rape but when he agreed to work with him I was confused. Does he crave compliments and attention in any form or does he crave the fame to hide his insecurities like he mentioned during his breakdown on stage?
@@ED80s I think it’s attention and the positive reinforcement his abuser gave him. I think that’s why he agreed to it. It can be really hard to adjust to a life with little to no positive reinforcement (verbally), hence his low points. In a way, at the end, I was just too shocked at it all. My personal happy ending for Donny is that he never goes back to his abuser after agreeing and he goes to therapy, slowly getting more gigs. Not famous per se, but some notoriety. Id like to think he’d learn his patterns and get back together with Keely or Teri.
It disturbed me…. I think he wanted to face his abuser, and I wanted him to confront him…when he didn’t and went along with his complete dismissal, and then agreed to work with him again, I got very sad for him
Because even though the situation is abusive, it brings comfort and familiarity, its the same when people cant leave their abusive partners, because its familiar, and when something is familiar to us is brings us comfort, even when we know its not good for us, some people can realise that right away, while others are so afraid of change and "having to start it all over" that its just easier to return to that familiar situation
The craziest part of this show is that Donny is the real person this happened to. I saw an interview where he said Martha sent 41K emails, over 600 voicemails, hundreds of FB messages. This was such a unique story, both entertaining and tragic. I think it also touches on taboo topics for men and the helplessness men face when dealing with police. Also, beautiful Nava Mau as leading lady! Great movie!
Richard Gadd should be nominated and perhaps win in BAFTA , SAG, , Golden Globes and Emmy…. Even Jessica can win too. I cried a lot. Episode 4 was haunting. Episode 6 was just heart wrenching. Richard Gunn indeed gave one of the best performances in a tv series and superb writing too. Netflix delivers with this one
I agree with every word. As a horror fan, I was certain this would be a True Crime-y depiction of a stalking. I certainly did not expect it to be such a deep dive into the psychological ordeal that the narrator went through. When he clicked the button to accept Martha's friend request, I was almost screaming at the TV. But he explained it all so clearly and so painfully. This show is a masterpiece.
This show was super confronting yet validating. As a man that faced a stalking scenario with my ex who was using blackmail to keep me in her life and to force me sexually I felt like I was just “letting it happen”. Donny’s reactions and traumas really mirrored my own. It’s rare to come by a piece of media that centres around a male victim, let alone takes it seriously enough, so this really helped me understand my own feelings and confusions + why I had them in the first place. Major respect to Richard for getting this out there.
As someone who works with serious mental health cases, his depiction of his mental struggle is insanely accruate and relatable. You can't fake understanding like this, he really went and goes through this. Abused people go back over and over again trying to repeat the memory "but this time it'll be different, it'll be different because I'll be the one in control," but they never are. It's a hole that gets digged deeper, a wound that you put fingers in. So few understand this and blame the victims for their borderline obsession, only those who've been through it will understand. The reason I work in mental health is because I was violently abused by my mother growing up. And of course, like buzzards to a corpse I've also attracted scary men in my life. Watching this broke me for a moment, I shattered and cried for an hour feeling so relieved to hear someone talk about abuse accurately for once. I felt so seen.
I didn't go through anything near this severe but there was an adult in my childhood who was just creepy with me, repeatedly, for several years. I think about him all the time and question what were his intentions? Why did I "fawn" and look for his approval? 40 years have passed and I don't remember a lot but some moments are burned into my brain and I want to confront him but will likely never see him again. Maybe that's for the best.
i had been in a toxic absuive relationship for 9 years, it's always been complicated thing where many would have judged me harshly and thinking badly of me if they knew, but if they lived it, they would understand it. it's not a cut and dry thing it's difficult and painful.
Imagine acting out the sexual abuse you personally experienced. Wow I cant imagine reliving your own horrible trauma even if its pretend. I know he did this as a one man show at the fringe and then in london but here it muust have been much more difficult. He did a great job with this tv show.
I took the ending with the Barman as Donny feeling what Martha felt when he gave her a free drink, and him realising what a huge impact such a kind gesture can have to somebody who is is at an all time low, or lonely or whatever. Almost helping him to understand why Martha attached herself to him the way that she did after he showed her such kindness that day.
Something I loved was that the show explored how nothing is quite black and white, and nothing exists in a vacuum. Donny's inability to stop encouraging Martha didn't come from nothing, Martha's clinginess didn't come from nothing, Terri's inacceptance of Donny's sexual underperformance didn't come from nothing, Keeley's animosity didn't come from nothing... Obviously, that doesn't justify some of their behaviours (especially Martha's), but it's more than "protagonist good, antagonist bad".
This is very clever. I felt what you described but you put it together really well. We want to think that life is this binary, yes/no, right/left world but as you said nothing exists in a vaccuum.
I was absolutely blown away by the entire show from beginning to end. I will say, the last message we hear from Martha where she shares the reindeer story, absolutely devastated me. Just a stunningly beautiful show.
How weird is it that most of the videos on this movie always wants to focus on 'Martha' or who she is in real life but not his rapist the writer/producer????
Flabbergasted and amazed by this gem! I didnt know this was like fleabag a one man show at fringe festival. THIS WAS TRULY AN EXPERIENCE TO WATCH- BEST IN YEARS!
While I agree that Martha’s presence by itself is menacing, I would say that this show is full of violence. The scenes with Darrien are incredibly violent, as are the scenes showing Donny during nameless hookups. Martha’s smashing of a glass into Donny’s head isn’t the only time she attacks someone severely enough to draw blood. It is 1000000 percent worth watching but be prepared for extreme violence in many forms.
Yeah considering only the brute force that draws blood as violence is not doing justice how deeply it is rooted in this show. It's the threat of Martha's inescapable presence and her actual threats, it's her grabbing his crotch, it's Darrien making Donny entirely dependent on him and r*p*ng him multiple times, it's Donny's self-torture in all its forms including him figuring out his trauma through sex and his obsession with Martha, and I'm probably still forgetting some things.
Yeah I wanted him to confront his abuser but he showed it is not always easy. And I wonder if he had Stockholm syndrome if that is the correct term or just either slipping backwards or just didn't know how to respond. He will need much therapy and grace for himself.
I feel sorry for Donny. He isn't strong enough. He went to the abuser's home over and over again , took dangerous drugs and let the rapist do whaever he wanted time after time. He should have been to psychotherapy so he would have dealt better with Martha. I would like to know how his "life" went on. Great acting. Sad story considering it is based on true events.
With his abuser, it started out as fanboying, then became a need. He needed his would be abuser's backing to thrive in the industry. Even when he realized his abuser was taking more and more liberties, he thought it would be all worth it in the end. Until the assault got to be too much. I was angry when he said he stayed and even fed his cat, but his abuser was his idol, peer, and only friend. Just like how Martha was the only person who made him feel good about himself. He hates the people he's dependent on. I thought things would get better after the scene with his parents and I was horrified when he went back to his abuser. But it shows just how forgone he was
Anyone else felt sad and sorry for Martha? When the voicemail was played explaining why she called him baby reindeer? I’m not a crier but I could have easily shed a tear at that moment.
Yeah started crying too at that very point. I felt for her, the actress did an amazing job showing both sides of her, the dangerous crazy one and the unwanted unloved wounded girl u feel sorry for.
The ending scene was amazing, Martha become humanized and just like Donny is now in the position of Martha in the beginning of the series. A broken lost person that has been so much shown an act of kindness. What will Donny do next?
I can't help wondering whether Gadd's abuser will ever face the consequences of his actions. I guess Gadd will not report those crimes to the police, but would others in the industry remember who he was? His girlfriend Keeley at the time knew whose home he was visiting, for example. I'm also unclear on which aspects of the show were fictionalized. *Did Donny really have sex with Martha, or was that just one of his masturbation fantasies? *Did he really return to the abuser's home, and really agree to work with him again?
*No, he didn't. The scene cuts to him having sex with Teri while fantasizing about Martha. *He was about to confront him but couldn't. He initially agreed to work with him but then had a panic attack and left.
@@mariannepapadopoulos8758 that's something. you would have thought she would have used that against him too, but maybe that is the case and considering too I doubt she would have just allowed him to.
I was completely amazed by this. In addition to how wonderful it was... I work with mentally challenged people and this depiction was so right on. You can enjoy them... like them, even be captivated by them... doesn't change their mental illness.
Amazing show which after it ending made me reflect on my past. Had something similar but no where near as dark and depraved as this show. I was 19 and in a rut. Lived in a small village where I couldn't get a job because I had no experience and most of all no girlfriend and constant pressure from family about why I'm not with anyone when I really badly wanted to be but I'm just so socially awkward it made it tough. My self esteem was so low because I felt my life going nowhere, I cut myself, luckily not deep enough to scar but honestly not sure why I did that to myself but I did. Then all of a sudden she showed up into my life from a party and I fell head over heels for her because no one had shown me such affection. I lost my virginity to her and loved her very much. However my family and friends didn't like her. I just ignored them. But in time she turned out to be a nasty piece of work. She started degrading me in all aspects. Started being horrible about my family, called me ugly and weak all the time. But I stayed because I so desperately didn't want to be alone. I thought it was normal because she told me it was normal. She started stealing money out of my wallet and said when we move in together that my bank card will be in her purse and she will control all the bills and money because I'm too stupid too. Even though she was in debt and I had nearly enough savings for a deposit on a mortgage but she said that was a waste of money and we should just rent. She just wanted to gamble my savings away. But after so long I couldn't take the horrible comments anymore and broke up with her. That's when she became really nasty, but I just blocked her. One of the most uplifting feelings ever.... Sorry for the novel and if you made it this far thanks for reading.
I read it all and I went through something similar. I'm still in debt but there was never any cruelty from the other side just more of using me because I let them.
@@sophiek8019 that's the problem with low self esteem, you let others walk all over you because you don't want to be alone. Luckily she never got to my bank account. She would constantly demand money and get angry when I refused. Because I worked hard and saved up to have the mortgage I have today. She got fired from a shop because she was stealing scratch cards and using the winnings to buy more scratch cards until there was nothing left.
I've been eagerly anticipating your review, and as expected, it was brilliant as always. "Baby Reindeer" was truly amazing, and I enjoyed it immensely. In fact, I'm so enthralled by it that I plan to rewatch it just to ensure I didn't miss any subtle nuances.
This show was brilliant at portraying the complexities. So many movies, books, and shows usually portray a very black and white scenario. Where the victim keeps someone at arms length right from the start and does everything "right" and is still a victim. But the thing is, victims, although innocent and not at fault of the harm done to them, they're flawed human beings. That's what makes it so hard for victims to heal and move on, because they did this or that and keep thinking "if only I hadn't xyz." But survivors out there, it doesn't matter if you were a jerk one time, or a little rude one time, or even cruel, it doesn't give anyone the right or justification to ab*se you, harass you, etc etc.
thank you for this, truly. i thought i knew what i was getting into watching baby reindeer, but i had no idea just how healing and validating it would actually be. watching richard gadd recount the making of the series and saying that he hopes people who have been in similar situations feel less ashamed and more understood watching, i am so so thankful i can call myself one of those people. i don't know id I've ever seen such a brilliant portrayal of ptsd especially specifically revolving around sexual violence, but i really have never felt more seen and comforted. ive had the conversation with my mom about what happened to me after my father passed, but this genuinely made me feel so much better about not being able to have that conversation with him. i think the show gave me everything i really needed and wanted, which i had no idea it would.
I held out until the bit where his dad said "would you see me as less of a man?" I instantly connected the dots and started crying and the way Donny went for a hand shake and his dad finally hugged him that wrote me off
Great summary. I’ve never seen anything like this show. I thought the first episode was very strong. I didn’t realize we were in for the darkness ahead. It was truly touching and unexpected - showing the humanity in all of the characters despite some of their despicable behavior.
This show is gaining popularity because it's about PEOPLE and not about superheroes, vampires, witches, warlocks, or werewolves. It's not political. It's not religious. It's not about race or gender. It's not a remake, reboot, reimagining, sequel, prequel, or spin-off. It's a totally unique and original movie, not something that has been regurgitated over and over again by Hollywood. More of this, please!
Brilliant Show. I have dealt with a stalker. Not to the level he has. However, I have been an abusive relationship. Suffered trauma and damn near lost my life to my ex. There really needs to be more shows that cover men who go through stalking, and abusive behavior. We do, it goes unreported TOO often.
I just finished it. I know I have a different story, but the scene after martha hit him to before he went on stage, really showed how he felt inside at that moment, and it was electrocuted me. WOW!! I have had that feeling once. It was like half your body from waist down was inside a big snake mouth, and you're fighting for your life to escape, but it didnt work. If anything, after fighting for years, you're just getting sucked into the snake bit by bit. The pain keep getting worse everyday, you're alive, but no escape. To the point that you're still trying to escape, tirely scrapping the dirt to hold on, with your mind is already set that it is over. Except it wont over, unless you're dead. Only I was too scared and have no strength left to end my life. So the snake wont let go, and I keep zombily scrapping for decades. I think that's the real definition of burried alive and wont dead. That feeling, really destroy you whole, unless..
And the song is just perfect! You're breathing, but not alive coz it's only pain after pain. But you think you're alive. So the joke really was on me. I am exhaly happy with that specific scene. It takes me to many shivering flashbacks, which are so precious to me. Thank you! ❤️
I was crying when Donny was talking on the edge of my seat hoping his didn’t have a shit reaction then his dad just released an absolute waterfall in me Such a powerful scene
Yep, it's known throughout the world. They call it 'historic child sexual abuse', That's the good old Catholic Church for you, and I can say wholeheartedly it's still going on and still being hidden as their wealth and political connections....they could do anything and not being held culpable.
Me to, but i kinda didnt like her at the end mainly because even though terri wanted to understand martha. She shoildve been taking the tine to understand donny, she was therapist so it minda didnt make sense to me
Only complain I have- if you can call it that- is: it annoyed me that the ending included him going to the guy's apartment, casually chatting and catching up then saying he'll accept a job from him, then leaving. It's like, have you learned nothing???
that's the trouble with abused mind, it's not all cut and dry. i feel the same, but I think it was something complex and psychological. i can be wrong. but yeah I felt like he shouldn't have gone there. i wouldn't have I been r***d.
This is one of the best things i’ve ever watched.. but so disturbing and my heart breaks for Richard Gadd.. how he went through all this but still got on stage to follow his dream.. ep4 was so hard to watch but when he’s on the stage in ep6 that broke me 😭 and then the voicemail at the very end 😭😭 i wanted to give him the biggest hug, and also hug martha in that moment too. the world really can break you. Richard Gadd you are an amazing human for starring in your own story. there are just no awards big enough 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
It’s an eye opening example of trauma bonding. Simply that. And how it’s so difficult to eliminate the addiction of the emotional attention. He even fell for the career offer his abuser offered again. He broke down because he knew he was trapped in the trauma bond and how toxic it was
Binged this in one afternoon. Really enjoyed this. Even though it was very hard to watch in some episodes. I found myself being uncomfortable and irritated with Martha's behavior yet also being sympathetic and frustrated with some of Donny's actions with her. This show was amazing. I could not stop watching. Lastly I wish I could get my hands around that groomers neck. However it really saddened me how he returned to the groomer at the end.
Was not expecting this level of intensity. Thought it was a comedy. Then it got intense. Then it got more intense. Then complicated if it wasn’t already. Great show.
It’s an incredible, complex and moving show. I watched it twice straight through. It spoke to me as a victim of abuse. It made me cry but not really in a bad way, but I really felt what Donny was going through. Richard Gadd is a brave and brilliant man.
This won best acting, best picture vbest cinematography, best director bar none. Whoever did the casting did the best job. This piece of brilliance deserves every accolade. Well done Mr Gaad and everyone involved.
Just finished it today and I’m at loss of words. I was sucked in and binged the show in one sitting. I empathized with the main hero as soon as he met Martha, this feeling of pity you have for some people that makes you ignore your own boundaries because you’re just afraid to hurt them. How easy it is to surrender yourself. I didn’t go through sexual abuse the way he did, but I have my own fair share of trauma and this show was so unapologetically raw and real.
Once Martha explained the comfort of the Baby Reindeer at the end and how if followed her wherever she went, I feel he realized her stalking was intentional to turn him into her baby reindeer, which succeeded when he realized how he consumed her recordings which brought him comfort. Although others focus on the abuse of the two characters I feel Martha’s plot succeeded. He realized in that moment he was captured and put into bondage. The nice gesture of the drink helped him to realize being so sympathetic to others can be a good and bad thing. I think we all can take bits and pieces from this moment
This show broke me in every possible way. It is beyond brilliant. It’s depictions of how as humans, what we will endure to have our basic inner needs met. To feel worthy, purposeful, attractive, to have someone truly see us for who we are without judgment. Donnie endured so much trauma because he was so desperate to be seen. Ugh just utterly shattering to watch but so genius at the same time. I’ve never watched something so riveting.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a show have such a profound affect on me. I didn’t even know until after watching it that the Donny is acted by the same man this story is based off of.
I think the ending is him realizing what he was looking for because he kept on going back to figure it out, and in that moment, he felt what she felt and understood.
I avoided watching it for months but the Emmy wins drew me in. Watched all 7 episodes in one day. Parts were difficult to watch but once I finished all 7 episodes I was BLOWN AWAY!! A modern masterpiece.
I had a stalker and i was drugged with LSD and raped by my first "boyfriend", I relate so much to Donny... My ex groomed me, i was 17, he was 28.. he abused me in every single way over and over again... Than i met my stalker and that shit started happening too, he found out where i live from the blurry background of a picture i posted on ig, there was no address in the picture or anything i was always really cautious about things like that. It was just a building that he knew that was in the background, he would stand there and wait for me... He waited every day when i came home from school, he was trying to figure out on which floor i live. At the same my ex was abusing me. The funny thing is, my ex asked me what was wrong one day and he was being all sweet and shit and i told him everything... He called my stalker from my phone and told him that he's going to tell his prestigious college that he was stalking an under aged girl, i was 18 by that time lol. Anyways, my ex was scary too, so my stalker ended up sending me one last text where he said he's going to leave me alone if my ex promises that he won't go to he's collage 😅 I figured out which collage it was, from my stalkers description, i knew a couple of people that went there. The collage was one train station away from the building that i lived in, that why he was able to be there every time... The scary thing is i still see profiles with hes picture checking my social media, but i learned my leason about that! I never post pictures taken in or near locations that i frequent ofted! If somebody is reading this and has a stalker and doesn't know what to do, these are my biggest advice: *Dont reply to him!!! No matter with what they threaten you, continuing the conversation is just putting more fuel to the fire! *Change your routes daily! Even if it takes more time, its going to keep you safe!! *Save everything! Every massage, every threat, every audio! If you see them in location that you fequent take a sneaky video of them that shows that they are following you! *Always record conversations! As soon as you see them in public click the record button! This part is really important, that way if they only threaten you when they see you in public you will still have the evidence! *Always have some type of self defence weapon with you, and if your country doesnt allow it just carry a hammer with you! Here for example, we are allowed to carry self defence weapon but i still carry a hammer with me!! I have been followed and attacked by other men and with my selt defence hammer i was always able to defend myself ans ran away! *Please go to the police as soon as possible with the messages printed out and with the audio files on a usb stick! Show them how dangerous the person is! If the stalker attackes you again on the street or starts following you, call the police! Since they have a record of the stalking they will take it more serious than if they didn't have a record! Im always here if you need to talk to somebody! Please don't give up! That situation will pass too!! ❤
I never comment netflix shows here BUT THIS ONE was just too overwhelming so I must say that it was absolutely out of the box thought crazy sth new on the screen and I just loved it! Baby Reindeer for Oscar pls🤘
It's incredibly admirable how Richard Gadd bravely shared his personal experiences, even those that might make him vulnerable to prejudice. His courage in opening up not only helps him in his healing journey but also extends a supportive hand to others who may be going through similar struggles.
So disturbing but I could not look away or stop. I also did not know the actor himself had gone through this until the last or so episode….I cant imagine going through all that he went through.
I think it’s important that it shows there are no perfect victims. “Perfection” is something we shouldn’t expect from people who’ve been abused. There’s no right way to react, and sometimes actions make no sense to people who haven’t gone through it. But that shouldn’t matter, victims no matter how illogical their actions seem still deserve support and justice. Abuse changes you and in order to heal people need others who won’t judge them for not being “perfect”.
exactly. i hate it when people act like they know better, yet never been in their shoes. Especially when people use the phrase, "why didn't you report this sooner?" it makes me so mad.
As someone who had a stalker and was abused as a child, the show was so intense. I had to stop many time and take a deep breath... bur never seen such a realistic show about stalking and abuse at the same time.
So much hurt and pain in his eyes. The last two episodes of Baby Reindeer broke me. I cried. And when I thought it was done, there’d be a single random tear running. ❤️🩹 So much respect and love for this man. ❤️
@@auldscouse I’m sure most of the male victims feel seen and as the topic is finally opened for real discussion. There are so many men suffering in silence. Also so many male victims of s.a. from members of catholic churchs when they were young still need to have the encouragement to come out and speak their truth. This is a discussion that still important and needs forum and visibility. For someone who wants to be perceived as empathetic you didn’t even care to disguise the word and trigger victims at all. You seem to only want to complain.
@@beccf.s.8012 I think you are projecting your own issues on to others, to make youself feel empowered. Deal with your own problems and let everybody else get on their own lives. It's not all about you.
@@auldscouse Nothing I said it’s about me. I am being empathetic to the victims you mentioned. You just want to argue. I just added that the numbers said otherwise. You spoke for the victims and I responded. Be well….
I think that at the ending he kind of understud why she started stalking him like he felt that kindness at rock bottom maybe what Martha felt (idk tho)
It wasn’t a spin-off, remake or half fast. It was original raw and well written and directed. Acting was great. Been awhile since I watched something that was actually good
I found it difficult to enjoy at first...too real the fat lady loves the skinny man. But I realized what a monumental journey this would have been for anyone to endure. Then I found out it was based on real life with Richard gadd's life. BRILLLLLIANT beyond words, bud. Congrats on your success. $$$$
Man... this show is harsh. i saw the first 3 episodes in one the and thought it was good, and i suggested it to my friend. then i watched the 4 episode and sent them a message and warning them about how hard it is to watch.
Everything I wanted to tell my family and friends but couldn’t articulate after the trauma I endured. This is raw emotions, real stuff.. finally something that got my attention on TV lately.
I was surprised with the low reviews. Most of them were cause they stopped with the trans part. I saw a few saying it was too hard to stomach. Lowkey I think they should’ve put a trigger warning on all the episodes because it’s way darker than I expected. And u have to watch till the end cause the ending is the best part. It made me ridiculously hard when the dad said that “do u think I’m less than a man”. Line. Realizing what he meant. Holy fuck that destroyed me.
@@BrainPilot thanks subbed as well I like watching these videos you should also expand your videos a little longer if you can but it's was still good video very entertaining
There is one particular scene that I found to be one of the most (if not the most) disturbing and uncomfortable scenes I have ever watched in all of my 81 years. I actually had to turn away… 😬😰
What I found irritating is that Martha was described by Donny to be so much older than him, like more his mom's age. While I found they looked totally the same age. Now I looked it up, the actress is even 4 years younger than the actor...🙄😁
Just me that thinks he then becomes a stalker in the last ep? He said Martha was crying when he gave her a drink for free, he was also crying when the guy gave him a drink for free in the end, I think he had his wallet he just wanted to see if he could get it for free, in an attempt to understand Martha he was slowly becoming like her
😂 same thought here. but i think it just speaks to his empathy. he finally understood her completely, and understood why he felt for her when he first met her
I considered if that was what the scene was implying, and it has a nice irony to it, but I don't think that was it. He just found himself in the same situation, making him finally figure out Martha. It does seem to suggest the cycle could continue, but not that it likely will.
@@KarlSnarksyup, lots of people are saying that he may end up stalking that guy again as well but i don’t think that is likely. the thing he desired the most was to figure Martha out and why she was so stuck on him. once the guy tells him it’s on the house and him listening to the voicemail of her talking about having a rough childhood, it’s most definitely an epiphany for him. he recognizes how a little empathy and kindness goes a long way especially with someone so broken, just as he is at that moment. but unlike him she is beyond fixing
One thing I wish I would’ve seen was a reason for Martha being this obsessive. Donny’s lack of self esteem lead to the abuse happening, but what created Martha’s, what kind of horrible childhood did she have that she became this ghost of a person? To lose yourself so terribly, I can’t imagine what she’s been through. This was a beautiful series!
Just finished watching it right now. Wow, I give it 5 stars 👍 I was afraid the ending would disappoint me, but it was actually great. I guess it ended exactly the way it began, he was just the person on the other side now. The part about his father’s childhood abuse totally took me by surprise, and made me cry instantly. I certainly didn’t see that coming, especially after watching his father go nuts on Martha on the phone the way he did… wasn’t that great?? I felt so bad for that “little reindeer” 😢 throughout the entire series, that I had to watch an interview with Richard Gadd, just to make sure he was ok and happy now.
I thought it was haunting and gut wrenching until i got to the last two episodes and was just annoyed. He goes back to his abuser, but not to get his honor back, release his anger, or even confront that piece of ish. He agrees to work with him? All the while listening to his stalker who abused him and tried to ruin his life? I bet he went to see her in jail. I bet he wrote to her as well. This dude had loving and accepting parents, an ex girlfriend that literally still gaf about his well being and looked out for him. And these were his choices after everything? He's a massochist.
I stopped 2 episodes before the end out of sheer frustration too. Also, the actress who played Martha was SO convincing that I just couldn't stomach her anymore!
I felt that when there is only one reason I can think he went back to Darrien: To confront him and tell him he will or will not press charges. Darrien sensed that so he tried to offer a bribe of working with him to get Donny to shut up. Donny said yes but not with any joy or enthusiasm. So when agreed to work for Darrien it proved to Donny that he had won over Darrien. Donny now had a bit of power back. He probably didn't have the courage to report him. Not a massochist. Rape victims feel conflicted and guilty (as Donny discusses). Donny had "more self-hatred than love to offer Terri"--people who don't love themselves have trouble loving others.
I think that scene with going back to his rapist was realistic. A lot of victims go back. Also the way the actor is played so calmly and matter of fact, shows how grooming works. He tricks you into believing nothing is really happening. After every sexual encounter he would do something completely banal like make a cup of tea. Even the way he greets him and congratulates him on his success is disassociated. Hiw can he be a rapist when he's being so pleasant.
@@christieomojo indeed, people don't get it and it needs to be revealed that way so people can understand and stop being so judgmental. i myself felt like, "No way would I ever return to my rapist" but you're right, because he had been groomed.
That ending was amazing. It hit me like a ton bricks that in that first scen when Martha enters the bar crying we dont know what she has gone through and why like brought her here in that way. We were able to see Donnys story and know exactly what brought him to tears. The parallel was amazing! He is Martha and Martha is him. Both abused broken lost individuals.
This is a rare binge watch from a current Netflix limited series. Every episode was unique. A lot of these limited series on Netflix are just boring with in their episodes. Lots of fluff and chatting with no context. This series was rare. Really well done.
I started to watch it and after the second series I gave up. I didn’t know it was based on a true story, also I heard on the morning show in Australia that it gets better, so I started to watch it from the beginning. I’m so glad I watched all of it, it’s so raw and compelling. Kudos to the two protagonist, they brought out so much intensity in this series. Brilliant movie incredible acting. I will watch it again.
I watched the first episode and carried on watching, fantastic. Makes it worth paying for Netflix. Less murder documentaries more of this. After the gruelling episodes of what he went through and he had to tell his mother and father what happened all he receieved was love and support from them. The scene at the train station where his father just kept waving at him when he was on the train in a dean pan manner, really got me laughing, the embarassment of your parents on the platform saying goodbye.
