Hey, you're not starting over. When this first happened, you didn't have all the 'tools' and knowledge you now have. You also have an amazing channel, full of people in similar situations, or with experience of something similar, who can support you as much as you support them. Remember your subscribers are not your responsibility, and you cannot worry how your videos affect others - that's just added pressure that you simply do not need, so just be true to yourself and your own journey. I found that simple honesty about my feelings, and what I am comfortable doing / going to, has given me back so much power. Keep taking whatever helps you right now, you're no failure, none of us are - we are just doing the best we can! Sending hugs 😊
Thank you so much. I definitely struggle to be true to myself, as I am such a 'people pleaser', so it's something I'm working on. And I guess, finding out what being true to myself even IS - what do I want, what do I need, etc. I needed to hear that, and I really appreciate it!
I’m proud of you for deciding when it was time to go back on your medications. Even if you went off for months and the medication was out of your system, you don’t know for sure what would be in the other side. I just went through the horrors of withdrawal and wouldn’t give up, now I’m left with not being able to hardly function, fatigue, feeling and thinking horribly. I regret going off because of some side effects, but when I was in them I was functioning even though not exactly the way I wanted. It’s all about the root of the problem. The antidepressants don’t get to root. I’m at the root and it’s not good. I might have to go back on and start all over again, if it works because I’m extremely sensitive to side effects. You do what you need to do for your life. I’m proud of you that you are being so honest especially about the prideful thing. That’s a wonderful admission in knowing that. You are brave and courageous. Always be true to yourself inside. Most of the crying and other emotions are from the medicines. I empathize with you. The only one that can truly help us is God. He knows your body, mind, spirit and will guide you to what’s correct for your body.❤️
I've been struggling really badly for the last 4 months, I haven't been this bad in about 4 years. Your channel is so comforting to know others deal with this too and I'm not just insane
You're definitely not insane!! I think globally, everyone is struggling. 2020 has been a total shitshow for all of us, and has brought so much unresolved trauma to the surface. Sending you love and warmth, Josh!
I’ve been on my antidepressant for 4 almost 5 years and I went down from 20mg to 10mg for a year and it was hell. I was crawling out of my skin just sitting on the couch at home. Lately I’ve been dealing with having a panic attack when everyone leaves the house. I always need a safe person. I’ve had agoraphobia and haven’t driven alone since my son was born 3 years ago.
Oh Rachel, I hear you. Crawling out of my skin is exactly the way i described it. I hope you are ok today, sending you my love and support. We will get there.
Life is so short. Please do what you need to so you are happy. I have had anxiety for 35 years. I will NEVER!!! Go off my meds!!! If you had Cancer and they told you to take medication to help with your cancer you would not think twice about it!!!. So please do what you need to to be happy!!!. I have watched your channel for a long time and I love it!!!!. You need to be happy and enjoy your life!!!!!
I'm so sorry that you had this experience. I completely understand when you speak about the unfairness of all the work you've done only to feel like you have to do a do over. As someone who's currently going through the process of exposure therapy...it just plain sucks. The hardest thing I've ever had to do and to be honest I hate every moment of it. On the bright side you have come out the other side. You know outs doable. You are so strong...stronger than you think. My thoughts and prayers are with you through this journey. I am in the US however please know there are many of us out here. Blood, sweat and tears every day. Sending lots of love out to you and your sweet family. You've got this ❤
Thank you so much, Lee Ann. And the same goes back to you - sending you all my love and support. It is SO hard, but on the flip side of that, it makes us so understanding, kind, and strong.
I took antidepressants for 3 years and at the end of 2018 I decided I didn't wanna take them anymore (I took lexapro, and I wanted to stop because the panic attacks started again and they were extreme) and I stopped taking cold turkey because my doctor told me I was not gonna have withdrawal symptoms 🤡 it was hell for a month, I fell awful physically but the mental part was the worst, I really thought I was gonna kill myself and I was so so scared, because deep down I didn't wanna die, I power through it though, the agoraphobia came back 6 months after I quit the medication and it came back all at once, it felt like one day I was fine and the next I was scared of going anywhere, I never went to therapy, only to the psychiatrist so I never learned how to cope. I would only go out if I really need it and it felt like hell, then the pandemic started and everything went to shit, the more I had to be outside, the more I was terrified to go out, it is so bad right now 😭 I'm going to therapy and learning things, but it's not enough, I have a psychiatrist appointment next week so they can put me back on meds, but I'm scared, so scared 😭 I'm scared I'll have to go through withdrawal again eventually and not make it, but I also feel like if I don't take them I'm not gonna make it on my own. I know this video was posted a long time ago, but I just wanted to share my story and tell you it's okay to start taking meds again, coming out of it it's so hard, and sometimes are brain just need the little help, it doesn't make you a failure to start again with the meds, just view it as, you tried this and it didn't work and now you are trying other things! It's a journey, you are so strong and brave just because you are trying 🤍
Thank you SO much for sharing. Incredibly wise advice and I know you've been through a lot to get there. Sending all my love and support to you with the journey ahead ❤
@@foxclover6 I'm good, I'm living a "normal" life, I still get panic attacks from time to time but the agoraphobia is gone, I'm never quitting my antidepressants again...
As someone who has gone off antidepressants twice, i wanna say i applaud you soooo much for even trying during this pandemic! I am deciding to go back on it because daily anxiety is starting to cripple me a bit. I stopped my meds end of last year so when the pandemic hit i was so worried! I absolutely resonant with the "prolasping" and feeling defeated,disappointed and despondency. My therapist told me that in AAA they do not use the term "relaspe"but "prolapse" because you can never go back with all the knowledge and skills you've sharpened over all these years. My agoraphobia started to creep in abit and i managed to pin point where it was coming from. For me,its the belief that i have no autonomy over my life therefore i am powerless and incompetent. Doing CBT against that has helped. I've had to make exposure list even as little as walking 5 mins outside and feeling so accomplished and competent. And then just driving around the block. Exposure is tough but statiftying and so affirming of your capabilities. You are such a fighter and you have such a strong vital force. Absolutely i am personally pro medications, there is no shame in taking care of your physical and mental being and prioritizing your well being,medications are a tool its not the answer which i think some people view it as and thats where the negative comes in. I am cheering you on your exposure! It sucks and it feels unfair i absolutely understand your feelings. But i and we all know how much of a fiery fighter you are! Much love💘
Thank you so much!! And that is so interesting to hear that you were able to get that insight on what the underlying beliefs were for you. I know for me, the underlying belief is that I'm not 'right' in some way, like I'm less than, or unloveable, or unworthy. (That old chestnut!) I think that's why I get so afraid of being around other people when I'm doing exposures, or of toilet anxiety, because those things happening will confirm that belief that I'm not good enough. I really love that you've worked to acknowledge those accomplishments, even the little ones, which for us can be more like a mountain than a molehill. Incredibly inspiring, and incredibly capable.
I'm sorry weening off meds didn't work out like you planned to! But you are doing what's right for you right now :) and so awesome you decided to do some exposure even when you were feeling like shit. Many of us dealing with the same stuff know how hard that is. It feels like life just doesn't give you a break ever. But getting back on the horse is exactly why you are already many steps further than when you first started experiencing your agoraphobia. Don't forget that ^^. You are strong and you are doing awesome, even if it might not feel like that for you. Big hug and best wishes to you!
Thank you, Fleur. You're right - so many people are feeling the same thing right now. It's been a rough year for everyone!! I hope you are okay, thank you so much for your encouragement, it is truly appreciated.
my sincerest apologies to you and how you’re feeling, i can relate, everytime i’ve tried to wean off antidepressants it only made things difficult for me. alas, our brains just don’t work the same as others and that’s okay, we will get through this. however i truly hope you’re able to do so sometime in the future, in the meantime i send you all my love
I tried to wean off antidepressants 10 years ago and it was an epic fail. I commend you for trying. I’m scared to go off meds again as I was not functional and had panic attack is round the clock.
I went off SSRIs a few years ago too and my brain could not handle it. I had to go back on them too and recently I've had a relapse with my anxiety and I had to up my dose.
I’ve found being at home because of Covid and restrictions around being out of the house etc I developed a level of fear of being outside. The only thing that made me feel normal was having to go to work part time. I needed that outing and social activity. I would always come home happier afterwards too. Then really I’d be drained and desire time at home again but end up anxious and guilt ridden when I was home. It was a really screwed up cycle.
I'm going through more or less the same stages as you. Here's my case: I took escitalopram 5 mg because of anxiety that had been ruining my life for many years. The treatment quickly worked and I felt revived. Then, after 6 months of treatment, I began a period of withdrawal. I went down to 5 mg once every two days, but after 2 months anxiety back again. We then increased the dosage, first to 5 mg (3 weeks) then to 10 mg a day (for the last 3 weeks). I've been back on the drug for 6 weeks now, but I'm not feeling the effects. Have you experienced the same thing? Does the relapse cause me to take longer to recover than when I first took the medication? The first time in 3 weeks I felt fine.
I can totally relate to your words. But you know what? You are a winner no matter what. With or without AD. You did not disappoint anyone, you have a lot od courage to be this honest. And I know what you mean.....like why...why again. It's sooo exhausting. But I believe there is a reason for all this sh-t. Keep holding on, brave spirit. ❤️
I'm so sorry this has happened. Firstly, you aren't letting anyone down! You're living your real life and this is part of it and it'll be the case for so many others. I dread coming off my antidepressants for the exact same reason. But through being real like this you're helping so many people. Also, I know the agrophobia and panic are so bad at the moment and it feels like you're starting all over again, etc, but I honestly don't think that'll be the case. You'll get back to where you want to be so much faster this time round because, like you said, you're not starting at square one. You have so many more resources and just because you're struggling now doesn't mean the work you did previously is lost, you're just going to build up on it. I feel your anger and frustration. And I think you're right to feel it's not fair. It isn't. But you CAN do this. Sending hugs xx
Same thing happened to me. I went from 100% panic attack free (took me years of exposure) to agoraphopic in a few months because of the antidepressant I took. This time I don't take any medication except Xanax when I am extremely on edge. I found Dr. Claire Weekes' works just recently and I think her pov of panic attack/agoraphobia is game changer. I recommend it to anyone! I am rooting for you!
Hi Lauren, we’re sort of in a similar boat (I think...). I haven’t intentionally weaned off my medication but due to my chronic drinking my medication these days are ineffective, and I’m back to square one... addiction is a whole other topic but I’m willing to try again. It’s ok to be on medicine if it helps for sure
Thank you!! I did some EMDR in 2018 with my psychologist at the time, and I truly found it helpful. Unfortunately, because of the pandemic, I have been unable to see her as she (and many others, I'm sure) have been inundated with clients. I would love to do it again, I hope it goes well for you!
Thanks for sharing, I know it can't be easy to talk about this kinda of stuff. I'm toying with the idea of coming off them too, scares me though. Thanks for being honest about it!
Thank you, I hope I didn't scare you off the idea!!! I have heard from a lot of people who came off successfully, so I know it can be done. It just wasn't the right timing for me, and that's ok. Love to you!
Hi Lauren, I saw your video. It was very helpful. I wanted to ask you how long did it take you to become fully functional when were back on 75 mg , if you could share that be great. Thanks
Hi Christine! It’s hard to give a concrete answer because it seems to happen gradually and not noticeably, you know?? But I think from the time I went to 75mg, it was a few months until I wasn’t feeling any of those distressing sort of thoughts to an overwhelming degree.
Sure did! Took two months or so (but given we were going through lockdown after lockdown, I think some of the instability was due to extenuating circumstances) and then I was level ☺️
My first child, i was on an antidepressant for the first few weeks of my pregnancy and then again from halfway through the third trimester. With my second, I was on an antidepressant for the entirety of my pregnancy.
@@LaurenRose. thank you for your response! I’m not going to ask how your kinds health is - I believe that are well!! (Even though you probably know that this question is the main one on the minds of those who consider have a child on these drugs).
You have conquered agoraphobia before so you will be able to do this again in time. I think you should really try micro dosing reducing your medication really slowly over a longer period of time, like .25 mg every 6 months and find the balance. ❤️