Amazing testimony my friend! You were not odd. I would have listened if it was twice as long. Don't ever feel like you have to keep people's attention. If they don't want to connect with you for you who are, then they're looking for something fake, or really don't care about you. You came across very raw and genuine, and that's the only thing that matters to me. And I did follow what you were trying to say. It's great to hear you're getting baptized! Anyhow, I came from your comment on my channel. Can you be more specific with what you were trying to get at in your question so I can pinpoint my response better? I wouldn't mind doing a video on it if it could be helpful. I don't think it's a topic I could address in comment.
@@JDsVarietyChannel You just really struck a cord in me. Maybe it was just The Spirit convicting me of idolizing men. It was getting to a point where my walk was becoming more so like a contest. I guess all I'm trying to say is that what you were talking about is what I've been battling for a long while now. I don't know if its envy, or partiality I see. Or maybe both.
@@throughthevalley8 When you say "like a contest" do you mean that you were trying to find favor with God by trying to be like other men who are praised highly within Christianity? Like trying too hard to be morally perfect in your own power, and envying those who you think are doing a better job than you? And if you don't mind me asking a more personal question as I try to pin down what you're trying to say. Do you think a factor with what you've been going through could in part have something to do with you looking for validation from strong men in leadership, because you lacked a father figure?