Barbie vs. Bratz 

stop this Penelope slander... the reason they didn't fly away years ago was because Penelope couldn't fly. We'll be expecting a formal apology on the virgin podcast immediately.

Stop pitting successful women against eachother 😤 😭

As someone who was an avid barbie watcher growing up. The Weasel is not an outlier. Almost every barbie movie has a horny evil animal sidekick. He's not even the only one who moans!

It's been almost two years since this came out and "~Rapunzel is bald now~" still pops in my head at the most unexpected moments.

Bratz had better diversity & style. Barbie had a better franchise in terms of their movies & attempts at “positivity” for girls by promoting STEM careers

Pitting women against eachother like this is messed up Kurtis

I distinctly remember a time when I was like 6 and the bratz pixie movie came on at a sleepover while everyone was asleep except for me. Watching the bratz gang turn a tree into their mom as a tired first grader was the most vividly trippy moment in my life

"🎶rapunzel is bald now 🎶" , "do i wanna gnome" , "baLls" and "im gonna piss on yew!" have been constant loops in my head for the past 2 years since this video came out

If Kurtis doesn't use Barbie saying "balls" as a recurring sound in his videos I gotta be honest... I'll be mildly disappointed

Penelope couldn’t fly over the wall because she was afraid of heights! And her friends were understanding of that and didn’t push her! Cmon kurtis, pay attention dude…

“hey, why stay on topic when you can simply not” is now one of my favorite phrases of all time

fun fact, when barbie was first invented, she was also extremely controvercial and didnt become successful for a long time. she was considered inappropriate for having a job and no husband, but parents eventually started buying them because they encouraged their daughters to become interested in grooming and fashion, which was nessecary to secure a husband

Hey! He's our mayor. He's definitely not a virgin.

Barbie literally invented the multiverse, so I think we can all respect her for that.

Bratz was basically the iconic Y2K doll and Barbie was still stuck in the 70s as far as fashion and inclusivity goes. I think Bratz was more inclusive of the black community and their pop culture contributions to that area of 1990/2000s as far as style, skin tone, fashion etc. Bratz were what cool girls had. It’s that era feel for some reason. When I got older and Monster High dolls came out I lost my mind. I was just a little too old for dolls but I adored them because they were gothic and cool and different. I also remember Moxie dolls being super cool. They were a mix of Bratz dolls with big heads/eyes/lips but they had detachable wigs (like Polly pockets of the era) AND they were bendable/posable with better proportions than Barbie. Barbie was JUST beginning to make bendable and posable Barbie’s en mass at the time from what I can remember, and there wasn’t much difference in body composition. I think a few years back I saw a thicker Barbie. I think she was advertised as “Mom” Barbie which tbh kind of rude. She had thicker thighs and waist essentially. I also saw recently a disco Barbie, she had an Afro and a really cool dress! But I’m unsure if it was a Mattel doll. I think Barbie did help with encouraging young girls to pursue stem fields, and encouraged girls to pursue higher education. My favorite Barbie from my childhood was one of the “Surfer” Barbies. They had proportionally big feet that did not fit into Barbie shoes. She was a black Barbie and smelled like coconuts and honestly she was cool and pretty AF. Like her hair was amazing. Looking back, a little weird that she was a surfer Barbie and there wasn’t just a regular black Barbie, but I think I was 8 at the time so what can you do. I really do like that Mattel has branched out with their inclusivity in their doll lines, but I think when it comes to girl’s toys, everything is going to be scrutinized heavily about “what it is teaching them”. It’s sort of ridiculous the type of pressure that’s out there and I don’t feel that there is the same heavy stigmatism around boys action figures. I think that people will be people, and have insecurities, no matter if they play with a 1950s Barbie or a 2022 Barbie, or if they play with a G.I. Joe or a WWE wrestling figure. We put too much pressure on obtaining perfection in the culture, regardless of toys and what they look like.

“Kurtis, just move on, you don’t have to make a joke about it” **proceeds to use the audio of her saying balls with reverb in almost every single one of his videos thereafter**

Barbie saying “Balls” with reverb has no RIGHT to be this hilarious.

She “looks like what stubbing your toe feels like.” Makes so little sense, it makes perfect sense. Also it’s not just you, the Barbie children are terrifying.

The Barbie as Rapunzel movie always meant a lot to me. Even before I realized how manipulative my own mother was, her story resonated with me. And honestly, her not even trying to escape for good until Gothel makes it very clear that she only has her own interests in mind... very relatable

“Doth thou carpets match thy drapes?” killed me lmao

It is actually perfectly plausible that climbing up Rapunzel’s hair wouldn’t hurt her. This is because of the way she wrapped her hair around the post. This releases the tension from her scalp and it acts like a rope. It’s like a pulley system, and it provides some slack that allows her to support that weight without scalping herself. The problem here is the actual weight of her hair. Perhaps she gets used to the weight by building up that muscle, but pulling so much weight constantly is effectively tearing her scalp apart.

kurtis slandering kelly is the funniest thing ever

8:15 "the king who ordered that" **points to giant fucking hole in the ground** WHY WOULD HE ORDER THAT LMAO

This whole video was hilarious but I nearly cried laughing at the Bratz doll angrily twerking 😭😭

Also, in the middle of the lawsuit, Bratz changed their slogan from "the girls with a passion for fashion" to "the *_only_* girls with a passion for fashion" which I find hysterical

The fact that he did not use the objectively best barbie movie (princess and the pauper) for a comparison is simply criminal and I will not stand for this injustice and tomfoolery

The angry pixie dancing will forever be hilarious.

I wish I could hear the "Scrotum scrolls" joke for the first time again, it almost made me cry from laughter.

As a kid I hated that Bratz doll shoes were attached to their feet, so any time you wanted to change their shoes you had to remove the whole foot and just replace it with a new foot. As an irresponsible child who lost all their shoes, i had a bunch of Bratz dolls amputated at the ankle which was a bummer.

Safe to say, I remembered the quality of the Barbie movies completely different

"That's like if someone pushed you into a pool, as a prank, and then you just went limp and drowned" i'm imagining a new kind of guy whos so dramatic and petty that he does this, but I keep arriving at the realization that's just Michael Scott

Amazing how the Bratz entire movie is basically "what if the medieval dance plague was actually a rave?"

There is no bigger flex than hiring the London Symphony Orchestra and just not using it.

Bratz was definitely a better doll but after watching ONE Barbie movie, I can proudly say they know how to make a movie that even if the plot sucks, the animation is entertaining enough so I’m giving them that award 🏆

what’s so funny about the lawsuit to me is that it actually DOES make a lot of sense because the guy who made bratz worked for mattel AND worked on a barbie line that *suspiciously* looks quite similar to how the first line of bratz looked (EXCLUSIVELY fashion wise!) RIGHT before he left mattel! so it completely makes sense on mattel’s part this one time 💀😭

"do I wanna gnome" is actually the best joke I have encountered on this channel

As a girl named Kelley with a big ass forehead I’ve never felt more attacked.

Therapist: Horny weasel isn’t real, it can’t hurt you. Horny weasel: MMMM! UAAGH!

Timestamps (mainly for me ig) Intro: 0:00 Barbie as Rapunzel: 4:34 Intermission/Merch Plug : 14:34 Bratz Fashion Pixies: 15:05 Outro: 25:37

"Do I wanna gnome? if this garden goes both ways?"

As a Kurtis Town citizen, having my extra greeting taken from me has devastated me. What’s next? No greeting AT ALL??? This town has gone to the dogs

Why do I remember the Barbie movie being wayyyy more of a higher quality than it is 😭🤚🏽

“I’m not a virgin” immediately starts talking about his podcast

i wanna mention that if you apply adequate pressure to a part of you hair that isnt the root it makes it a lot less painful when the ends are pulled, just like tension on a rope. so if rupenzel held a portion of her hair it really wouldnt hurt too much for someobe to climb up the rest, especially if it was braided or tied.

I feel like he did barbie so dirty by not choosing one of the musicals, the music is always the best part of the films!!

“This is not realistic” - kurtis at a movie about dolls magically becoming pixies who put people into a dance trance

"do owls get horny?" *laughs in helluva boss fan*

I’m like in my twenties and idk why every time I get sick I still watch the Barbie movies….like if I’m not sick I don’t want to watch them but the second I get sick I sit in bed all day watching them 😂

Kurtis: Why didn't Rapunzel just hop on Penelope's back and fly away from the tower years ago Me, a grown-ass person who hasn't seen these movies in literal years: you know there was a whole side plot where Penelope was dealing with self-esteem issues with her dad cause she was afraid to fly, right? right?

the split second shot of the girl who is angrily twerking is still killing me..

I actually like that when Sasha and Yasmin put on the pixie glasses everything becomes more colorful. Like yeah, there’s bubbles and people with wings, but the vivid colors is a more subtle detail that shows the difference between the regular world and the pixie’s world. Even the regular humans get a bit more color saturation when viewed through those glasses.

6:33 THERE IT IS. The legend was born!

the “dylan walked so eboys could run their fingers through their hair” was the best line in this entire vid

I don't really think this guy is a virgin. He's very clearly secure about that, I mean, just look at how much he says it. It MUST be true.

if rapunzel was trans, you could say "rapunzel has balls now" you can now clap

In my ballet class they said our outfit looked like the last Barbie outfit in the cutscene of her changing outfits and I swear when she said balls I laughed so hard

i was kinda hoping this was 30 minutes of kurtis playing with barbies and bratz dolls and making them wrestle….. maybe next time

annoyed that kurtis went through this whole video calling the bratz “bryannas friends.” put some respect on chloe, yasmin, sasha, and jade.

bratz fashion pixies was a fucking bop

Sephán...wrapping his hands around barbie's entire waist. That's the most important scene. PeriodT

Kurtis: *continuously addresses not being a virgin* Danny and Drew: “virgins for lives despite the wives”

"Why stay on topic when you can simply not" ah yes, the ADHD motto

Can I just say that the guy who voiced the horny ferret also voiced Goku 😭😭

That Bratz doll 'angerly throwing back' has to be one the of FUNNIEST things I've seen in a while

as someone who recently, quite literally, watched EVERY barbie movie, rapunzel actually scored pretty low on our scoring system, which we call the barbometer. should have watched the princess and the pauper or princess charm school smh

“dylan walked so eboys could run… their fingers through their hair”

What you said about Bratz being more inclusive with other skin stones is what made me want one in the first place. As a kid, all my Barbies looked the same, and then I got my Yasmin doll and she had tan skin, brown hair and brown eyes. She instantly became my favorite doll and I would take her with me everywhere. I still have her with me. That’s a part of my childhood that I don’t wanna let go because it really lit up my life at the time

Honestly all the bratz movies I watched felt like a fever dream the bratz kids sleepover movie honestly had me convinced I made it up until like a year ago when I accidentally fell upon it again. What a vibe

I’m sorry kurtis, but those “flying unicorns” are actually alicorns. If you want me to be a part of kurtistown, you have to keep up with your horse lore. Otherwise, your gonna be cancelled 😡

The fact that Rapunzel could just leave the tower because the magic spell only works on someone with a lying heart is this movie's equivalent of "that sign won't stop me, because I can't read"

Barbie voice with reverb: “BALLS” Bottom text

(Do I wanna gnome?) If the gnomes are small or no? (Sad to see them come) Was sort of hoping that they'd go (Baby, we both gnomes) - Do I Wanna Gnome? by Kurtis Conner

Kurtis: I'M NOT A VIRGIN Virgins: IM NOT A VIRGIN hmmmmmmmm, theres a pattern here

Just to clarify for those who haven’t seen the absolute masterpiece that is barbie as rapunzel (not even being sarcastic), the plot does explain why she can’t just fly away on penelope the dragon. Gothel cast a wall of protection around the castle so that nobody would find them in the woods and it’s impassable unless you fly over the top and throughout the film penelope tries to fly over but can’t because she’s afraid of heights and falls down! No plot holes here

18:32 ok but imagine a gnome COMING TO LIFE AND CHASING YOU... i would run too

As someone who's name is Breanna, pronounced the same way, hearing the line "So Brianna's friends get kidnapped by the pixies and Dylan twerks about it, which is honestly a power move" literally made my day you have no idea how hard i laughed

You're right Danny, takis ARE seriously intense.

Idk why the Barbie movie just made so much more sense to me as a kid. Like yeah obviously there’s a hole there and yeah obviously he has to run away

25:32 kurtis: "I don't have any daughters" every lesbian in the world: 😔

A virgin is exactly the kind of person who would purposefully not give someone an extra greeting

the more he repeats he's not a virgin, the more I feel like he is lol.

At 25:37 I realized kurtis kinda looks like a gnome

Finally. The showdown I have been waiting for my entire life.

Random observation but the weasel kind of looks like Kurtis's moustache

I think that tangled handled the idea of rapunzel’s head/neck hurting when someone climbs her hair. In tangled rapunzel wraps her hair around a hook, which makes the hook hold the weight of the person instead of her neck.

Brooo i fcking died😄😄😄💀 10:07 "doth thou carpet match thy drapes😆💀"

I’m not even a Queen fan, but you look like all the Queen members had a child

"kelly looks like what stubbing your toe feels like" genuis, kurtis

I think the gnome is saying either 'yahoo, down below' or 'yahoo, look out below' in whatever heavy accent he's supposed to have

So this is where the famous “balls” came from

monster high is by far the best doll movie franchise. they literally tackled topics like racial segregation and police brutality in a way my 7 yo pea brain could understand. 11/10 would recommend all of them.

i love how the entire budget for the bratz movie was put into the animation of the girls hair

You missed Penelope's whole arc for why she didn't initially fly over the magic wall! The reason Penelope didn't do it earlier was because she had to overcome her fear of heights and her anxiety of disappointing her father 🥺Loved Barbie as Rapunzel as a kid 🥰 I was not a Bratz fan as a child admittedly (did not like their giant heads). They definitely had a unique style tho and added some nice diversity to the 2000s doll market.

6:27 I GOT A BRATZ AD

barbie swan lake was the best. i like the person who said “you’re thinking daddy” really seductively to her dad

"And Kelly wasn't in it" The most ironic part is that Chantal Strand, the voice actress who plays Kelly in the Barbie movies, including Barbie Rapunzel, is literally the voice of Breanna in this Bratz movie.

6:42 balls

I was super into Bratz, in part because they had more than just a bland no personality Ken doll, they had a bunch of Bratz Boyz and they had their own distinctive styles just like the girls

i feel like the detail in the bratz animation was 99% focused on making their hair as shiny as humanly possibly and 1% focused on everything else

i don’t need this penelope slander 😐😐 she can’t fly barbie out of the castle because she’s afraid of heights and gothal put a magical barrier up that she can’t fly over… duh