Basically Tortles 

I think the point is that the candle that burns twice and bright burns half as long.

@@DanteTorn but why turtle people

@@okkoheinio5139 because irony

Maybe because the most nicest of thing the world has to offer doesnt deserve to live a long life I mean, Elves, Humans, and Dwarfs are pricks and they life for varied amount of time because they have different ways to live life While Tortle just want to life the simplest yet the most satisfying life they can do without having to harm anyone they find not to be a threat or they want to have the same life as them

@@RenoKyrie I think you misunderstand where I'm coming from: if they wanted to make a creature that is short lived but appreciates the world and all the nice, simple things... why did it have to be a turtle, a famously *very* long lived animal.

druids: i can hook ya up

I wonder what the thought process was designing them like that. Like, it's one of the first things you think of when you think of a turtle and they did exactly the opposite.

@@nessesaryschoolthing probably just to be different. almost every civilized race lives longer then humans do. Gotta have some balance on the other end of things.

@@TamTroll and i quess if anything fits with their humble yet adventurous lifestyle.

It's funny because in reality turtles lives really fucking long if left alone.

Or nomad

Ah Yes... *The Nomad Orphans!* Such a wise group of wondering children!

Gladiator. He doesn't boast of his deeds... he just humble brags.

But unlike the edgy Ranger he doesn't feel the need to make that the excuse for why is such a shit person. "Welp, my parents are dead, what can you do? Oh hey that's a cool dog you got there fella"! "Fuck you, it's a wolf! And the brother I was raised with when my family was slaughtered, and I had to be raised by Wolves". "That's rough man".

@@Hawkens4k Nomad Orphans, or Orphan Nomads?

That’s the dedication I want from my players

Cool. Hope you had fun!

How many minutes into the first session did he die?

@@matthijswouters834 He lasted 3 sessions before he was killed by a hill giant

@@James_Ma11hewsLIVE oh what irony

True

The reason real life turtles live much longer is because they move so slowly. Tortles in DND only live 50 years because they move at the same speed as other humanoids.

@@canaryinacoalmine1759 have you ever seen a turtle sprint? They fast as fuck

@@canaryinacoalmine1759 Softshells are insanely fast and they can bet a century.

Maybe 1 turtle year is 5-10 human years?

I've had two DMs who never met each other house-rule that tortles live at least twice as long as humans and only die after they mate, so a fifty-ish tortle and one that's three-hundred both die soon after mating, so the time before natural death is variable.

“Always has been.” *pulls out dagger*

holly clown Crud, I’m not wearing armor and I wasn’t expecting that. Make an attack roll with advantage.

@@coleallen8425 4 extra attacks, all crit

They're the equal and opposites to the aboleths. Like a cosmic balance.

@@anindyassdey ok, hold on, these are weighted.

Gosh, both the casinos and the museums would be booming.

I’d think more New Orleans, a bit more laid back, but still living to the fullest

*slowest

As someone who lives in Vegas, you do not live life to the fullest out here unless you're in the 1%. Otherwise it's just a bad place to be.

@@diannebassett1313 yeesh. I hope it can change for the better...

So like, a clan of tortles that vow to resurrect each other?

but that would go against there code of not care or hating anything this includes the prospect of death if I'm ruling a campaign with turtles I would increase there life spans to that of elf because turtles live up to 500 years bro. a bit of rule bending never hurt anyone

@@Hammywastaken loophole in logic: If the turtles keep resurrecting each other, they get to experience death multiple times. They also get to know what arthritis is!

You can do that pretty easily just by having one of them find a scroll of the Clone spell, and having them spend the time and money copying it over and over again among their whole community and spending the money to create some factories to mass-produce synthetic diamonds and the 600 gp-equivalent clay caskets that their clones grow up in. The Clone spell allows you to return as a younger version of yourself thus defeating all the problems with old age and the only downside being cost.

One Tortle Lich BBEG and one Tortle clan that knows everything about him, his weakness and such but so damned hard to find because they are all hermits and nomads. Moreover since they only know about him by the stories of their ancestors, every single one has partial informations Take that as a campain plothook

Barbarian Tortle: laughs in 20 ac

Bladesinger Tortle: laughs in 21 AC

Giant guy: do I have a rock in my shoe again?

Forge Domain Warforged: Hey, what is so funny?

@@leolima1638 I'm just imagining a full party of these impenetrable fortresses: The Tank Regiment! Who needs healers when you don't get hit? Who needs glass cannons if you can be steel missile launchers?

Damn man, that Tortle is legit

I'm here because runesmith's humor is some of the best I could find. And because I like dnd.

It's not Oogway!

Oh my GOD Aqua is hysterical

To late Redman my brother beat you to that.

the konosuba stuff is a collab between konosuba and PSO2, an ancient fuckin' game. it's basically just konosuba costumes for the game, which explains the shittiness of the models

I couldn't help but notice that remag is gamer backwards. Fun fact of the day.

@@sauceinmyface9302 Classic Seveer Leahcim

Ah, I see you're a man of Broken Bonds as well

Ahaa fellow fans of broken bonds. ♥️

Best quote so far

He's got a point

I know this comment is 1-day* old but gotta say it's the po- the intricate exhaust jokes.

I was bored.

@@geradosolusyon511 Check the time again friend

My current character is Flip, a tortle rogue with +8 athletics

Elderly... so is he a very horny cleric? XD

luiztomikawa Not really. He’s already got grandkids. His Deity has expanded his lifespan significantly more than other Tortles.

OK Toomer

@@trashynecromancer1155 nice! Like an actual turtle who is know for it's longevity!

Also, BIG FREAKING HAMMERS! And you know, magic.

Yeah, and I think it also ought to make your dexterity saving throws be at like -5 if you are in the shell and thus can’t move away from an area of effect spell.

Can't be picked up by big friggin' birds if you weigh as much as an elephant *black man tapping his head meme*

@@evannibbe9375 It basically does. You get disadvantage on dexterity checks while in the shell AND you're prone.

@@frenchsoldier8485 the roc is literally a gaint elephant eating/picking up bird

Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortles. And their Master, a wererat. Who's... Lawful Good instead of Lawful Evil, for some illogical reason.

Unknown name I Think you mean Teenage Normally Adapted Monk Tortles

There was a officially published 4e Dark Sun book. There just isn't one for 5e.

Fortunately Thri-kreen are still in the game as an enemy.

Yes

A small price to pay for Tortle facts

"Slowed down" "Slowed" "Slow" Did you just..?

@@DiMadHatter what?

Bad guy on a warship? No problem! Just swamp the entire ship and tip it over!

Jacob Treuer were doing an eberon 1shot rn

F.

bruh, they've been a thing since 1st edition

@@elf-lordsfriarofthemeadowl2039 I thought that in the lore they came to Toril recently?

@@1KosovoJeSrbija1 That's dragonborn

@@shaness112233 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?!

@@samuelevans738 If you're not joking, quite a bit. Dragonborn experience the full range of human emotion and are very prideful, lizardmen are pure robot rationality. A lizardman doesn't understand "friend", they understand "useful for now". Lizardmen have a very distinct place in the world, dragonborn are beings ripped from another dimension within the current generation trying to find a niche to fit. There's quite a bit more, but I'm not trying to post it here. P.S. If you want to piss of a dragonborn, call them a lizardman. They no likey. Just because they're scaley doesn't mean they're the same.

Humans aren't turtles. We can't literally carry our home on our back.

Only one applies sadly, read the rule book. It's either you are taking that 17 or you are taking your monks regular unarmored defense. Whichever is higher

So in yours, the lifespan is considered so short because of high death rates, not because they age so fast?

@@BJGvideos yes, though i definitely apply a compulsion to write and study great adventures. You know how in the 19th century people would watch a battle from the sidelines? Yeah. These guys are near suicidal. You might find them intentionally checked into a drow slave arena. Mechanically Roll them as bards with their performance to be oratory storytelling. Gives them something interesting to be doing in towns and cities if you see one. I have lot of specific direction but i feel like the stuff i left out makes them a better template than trying to tell you every aspect but ill say they want their stories because it ultimately earns them mates and renown in their society and opt for having their own adventures for stories though finding an old or obscure tome about some famous hero or event gets them going as well. So basically the tortle dream is to go on a dungeon run to get some old scrolls and get two for one 👌