“On average, a woman will attempt to leave 7 times..” its easy for people to say just leave, but for the person going through this with a man she loves, it is never easy and it would seem, sadly, like coming back to him would be the best thing to do... thank you for sharing your story. In so many ways you have answered questions and doubts that only a person who has been through the same thing can answer. Its not about playing the part of the victim, its being a survivor when the person you love victimizes you, and having the courage to get out. Love and gratitude to you.
Thank you so much for your comment, . I love when you said " Its not about playing the part of the victim, its being a survivor when the person you love victimizes you, and having the courage to get out" Thank you XOXOXO
I agree 100% I was on of the ones that also thought they were the exception; despite my mom warning me and telling me " if they his you once, they'll hit you again".
At first I felt guilty about having to go to trial and testify against my ex-boyfriend who also nearly killed me and put me in the hospital and after watching this video my mind is back focus and I can't wait to testify to put him away for good..Thank u 4 this video!!!❤❤❤
I left my very abusive ( physical, mental, emotional) husband. Together 24yrs and 6 kids. I gave my life to Jesus. Without my husband in my daily life, I've completely surrendered to God and have drawn closer to Him. I attend church, read Bible and pray. I'm in total awe & tears of joy everyday for how God has got me through this. Supernatural peace, strength & provider. God is healing & restoring me to a better version. I keep my husband in my prayers and leave it in God's hand now. GLORY BE TO GOD!🙏🛐🙌❤ I will keep sharing my testimony. And I pray for those that read it will come to Jesus and you too will find refuge in Him. I ask this in Jesus name, 🙏
My Abuser got released 3 days ago. I was with him for 2 years, we were ready to get married. I still love him - but my mind is clear now. I will never ever take him back. He punched me, slapped me, kicked me, spit on me... and that was only for the last 6 months. Before that, he emotionally and mentally abused me. He was 17 years my senior and i was convinced we were soul mates. It is SO hard to leave, to comprehend. This women is so brave - thank the lord I ended the relationship and got out while im at 22. I pray pray pray he wont hurt me again.
In a room full of social workers I was emotionally abused and he was given love and support as I was told I'm too sensitive. Yes the denial in our society runs deep and loved ones put you down rather then support you in leaving. You are completely alone when you're an abused woman and alone in indescribable pain. It's so deeply sad and unjust.
She mentioned at the beginning , how one argument ran into another. This is trauma bonding. Thank you for sharing. You are bold and brave and helping many women . No one deserves to be abused. The violence in my family, conditioned me to accept the unacceptable . Abuse!! Domestic violence. In all my realationships , I've experienced Abuse. There's been physical, verbal , emotional, phycological, spiritual,& financial abuse. I stayed too and gave my boyfriend excuses and we stay for many reasons. I ask all women, and especially younger women to learn everything about Red Flags. It's very sad that victims go back to abuse. I took him back dozens of times. Excuses and minimizing abuse is what is normal when you grew up with abuse. I didn't even know it was abuse because looking back ... I believe I was in so much denial. ( To survive) we stay also because we feel a constant defending of truth and I also would speak my truth when he constantly was accusing me of cheating on him. Not surprising that when he died from his addiction, the truth of him cheating on me and finding out he was on the down low. I didn't see the red flags because of his manipulation and defending myself that I wasn't cheating myself. Soo much trauma, you are an inspiration thank you. Please be aware of red flags. I'm single now for 3 years. I need time to heal so I will never repeat the visciouse cycle of abuse.
I love you. U are spot on. I'm going to court tomorrow and now I'm not scared..he's did it to someone else. I'm 41 and beat cancer since. I feel as if I'm on a life lesson. Iv got this. Thankyou xx
A casual ex broke into my home a month after I ended things and tried to strangle me in my sleep. This was such a powerful presentation and I hope this woman is thriving now.
J N I agree with you 100%.. I dont have to look up what domestic abuse is I lived it, as I said in the talk,domestic abuse is a process..its manipulation, narcisssim and mental abuse. The purpose of sharing my experience is to share that long before the physical ever occurred.. I experienced the mental. I share a little of my own experience so that others can understand their own. ❤️
I cried because I was going through the exact situation. Your talk have given me soo much encouragement. Thank you so on much. By the way I am a social worker. I am glad you shared this. You save me. THANKS.
I AM GLAD YOU ARE STILL ALIVE. AS A SURVIVOR OF DOMESTIC ABUSE, I THANK YOU FOR STEPPING OUT AND SPEAKING ON THIS PROBLEM. I PRAY EVERY YOU FIND HEALING AND HAPPINESS. GOD BLESS YOU, MARCIA. FOR HELPING OTHER WOMEN. I LOVE THE NAME OF YOUR ORGANIZATION.
I have never been physically hurt by my husband, but his emotional and mental abuse is definitely hard for me to deal with. This abuse has been going on for about 8 years. You can't just leave. I'm 49 and disabled and everything I own is mine and I have no way to buy everything again. My disability check doesn't go that far. The 1st time I left my husband, I did it while he was at work and went 1800 miles away. I will be going again for the last time and 1800 miles away again and will not look back next time. I also got accused of cheating everyday. It was so crazy. Cheating never had crossed my mind at any point
I still cant understand the depravity of the Justice system-woman and men have been failed so many times- Attempted murder is what its call -she is a hero by sharing her horrific trauma and helping others God bless her and her family
I left after 11 months, and because I heard all these stories I stayed away. I'm healing from hidden abuse, but it's mostly not from my marriage but from the hands of my mother decades earlier. These stories, over and over, are so similar to my second marriage, but I only had 3 months of very troubling abuse. I'm grateful for all the survivors of emotional abuse in my life getting me out quickly. Thank you.
Im so happy to hear that others sharing there testimonies of surviving abuse will help others to protect themselves and take steps to move away from any form of violence. Knowledge is power. You are using good wisdom. Peace to you.
I hope you are no longer with him. You deserve to be safe. Life is so short, being with someone that hurts you and abuses you is not worth it...it’ll make your life shorter if anything. You deserve real love, which is patient, and kind, and equal and free. Love yourself. Loving yourself means never accepting such deep disrespect from anyone. People get comfortable, be afraid to leave, etc., but I promise you, being free from abuse is the best thing. You deserve to live a life free from cruelty.
All i remember from the abuse i had to go through is being saved by praying and God answering by taking away the fear giving me another choice to live and the wisdom to go forward to live as a surviver. So much truth and courage in your sharing
Thank you Jesus omg thank you Jesus I needed to hear this thank you for sharing your story you answered so many of my questions thank you and God bless you
I stand and applaud you Marica. You have a courage probably even beyond your own understanding. Thank. You. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your fantastic wisdom and insight. You are a special and brave soul, and I am applauding you ♥
I admire your courage, honesty and simplicity. Thank you for sharing my sister is in abusive marriage. Just realized it! so the ending of your talk left me with its impact. Thank you and your Guardian Angel!
Sofia, thank you. I am so happy that my testimony was able to shed some light on understanding for your sister's situation. I pray for her to find her way though and out of her situation safely- mentally and emotionally.
To all the survivors out there, you're incredible! Give yourselves a round of applause. You deserve it! I emphasize with these survivors, and wished they had the courage of my mother who left her abuser the second time he hit her. She did this with four small children and no family support. I'll admit that my mother was the exception since there were other family members who chose to stay in their DPV relationships. When I asked my mother why she left, she said, "I didn't want my children to see me that way. I want them to know they have a choice." So, based on this concept, I can't help but wonder if these women, particularly those with children, gave any thoughts to the children who are the unintended witness to these violent traumas. This is especially true at the start of abusive relationships. How will they respond if they find themselves in an abusive relationship? If not, their relationships in generally. Will they stay in the DPV relationships to their demise? How will they navigate future relationships? Children are most adept at learning behaviors So, seeing these types of behaviors will have a profound impact on them in their relationships. I will say the most significant lesson my mother taught me by leaving her abuser is...you never stay in ANY relationship that causes pain. Thanks, Mom, for being so monumentally and phenomenally courageous.. You raised us well and your children appreciate this lesson.
Karina V please never go back to him. Please. You deserve to be in a loving relationship, and until you can be in one and find the right guy, it is better to be alone...please take care of yourself.
@Karina V I am so sorry to hear you have been going though this for year... I know its a painful and isolating place to be. I am praying for you, your strength and your safety. I pray that you know just how valuable you are and how much you deserve.
Winnebago county, Illinois is using the 1st 18 minutes of this video for a domestic violence victims panel for offenders. Literally that is all they do to help make sure abusers are aware. More needs to be done to help the victims!!!
So much love and respect for this lady. She is courageous and clearly a good person. And she is honest as she is advising both sexes to take the lesson, not just women: "If someone shows you who they are, believe them." True.
There are many complex reasons that a victim of this type of violence cannot or does not just leave as the average, emotionally and mentally healthy person would. Particularly if the brainwashing, for lack of a better term , has taken hold.
Wendy your comments have truly touched me/ my heart. Thank you so much. Sometimes we wonder if what we really do does make a difference and if anyone is really listening or we are heard. I really appreciate your comment because it just confirmed for me why I will continue to use my voice in the best way I can to help others find their own too.
I left 24 times. I would go to my parents were rationalizing for him... I feel horrible. They still blame me! They ask me why do I act like this... Well
Natasha - The Singing Flower I hope you left him. Please hun, do what is right for you. You deserve to be safe. The abuse is NOT your fault. Please reach out to a women’s shelter, a domestic violence hotline...please never go back to an abuser.
I let it go on with my husband for 5 years he was my first everything and i never though he would hurt me until he did and it never stopped I finally made the decision to leave with our 4 children under the age of 4 and we are currently in a shelter and although it’s not ideal having 4 kids under 4 in a shelter I feel so much less stress being here than being in house where I had to walk on eggshells everyday wondering if I was going to be hit, accused of cheating or lying, or if there would be another hole in the wall or door that I would have to look at everyday reminding me that he wasn’t changing
In their minds love is someone giving their all to them. They don’t think they need to give back. Entitlement to the max. They deserve the world at their feet.
Thank you for sharing this story. It has made a huge impression on me, and is something I needed to hear. I am so grateful to you. You’ve explained the fog, the denial, the shame, etc. There is so much relatable truth to everything you’ve said. I just left my abuser for the final time a couple of weeks ago. He doesn’t realize it yet since we’ve been on and off for five years. I do wonder how he will react once he sees it’s definitely over. Regardless, I’m dead set on providing my children with the home environment they should have. They’re the main reason I made this decision. Since I’ve left, to stay strong in my choice, I have read through journals and whatnot to remind myself of the things he has done and why I don’t want him around; in doing that, I realized I was in so much more danger than I ever allowed myself to believe. I will never take him back. He will not change. I believe he is who he has shown me so many times. I did not want to believe it. I really wanted our family to be whole and functional, but that’s not the reality of it. And thank God I am finally out of the fog because these children need their mother to protect them. My shame runs so deep. When I realized how I let them down by allowing him to keep coming back, I felt overwhelming shame. But I’m awake now and I cannot change the past but I can give them everything moving forward.
What a beautiful testimony! I’m happy you’re a warrior and survivor. Many don’t make it out and become a statistic. We got out and are the lucky ones! Stay safe!
What a amazing woman ! Thank you so much for helping other woman and men to know when to leave and what’s good and whats not ! You just helped me a lot and opens my eyes I never knew that It really can go that far ....❤️
The person abusing uses control and power ( which isn't love). From my personal experience of 30 years with my boyfriend , the abuse. Got worse as his addiction progressed . I got very unhealthy with depression, anxiety, low self worth, helpless ness , hopelessness. And isolation . A big warning sign is active addiction. But , he was abusive when he was using. As well. I lost myself by hoping, praying , and trying my best walking on egg shells and believing that the abuse would stop. It never did ... It escalates and worsens. The tearing down with intermittent love bombing or a period called the honey moon stage keep us stuck . Many of us go back because we believe we love this person and are very forgiving and hope the visciouse cycle of abuse won't continue. So it's a visciouse cycle. Only the grace of God go I. His love protected me and helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. As survivors we are very beautiful and strong to have survived. I hope this helps someone realize there's absolutely Nothing they can do, to stop the abuse accept. Remove yourself from it , safely. Nobody deserve abuse.
He got SIX YEARS?!?!? After being free for 2. For attempted murder. For splitting her head open; twice. As a society, we are enabling this with little to no consequences whilst there are nonviolent people in prison for life for an ounce of weed.
I remember his dragging me to marriage counseling and the therapist just looking at me like "Are you serious???". He broke his hand hitting me and even his mom helped cover it up repeating "he's changed" over and over and over. I had called his mother during domestic violence and she always told me I wasn't forgiving enough of her son. . .No, I'm not anymore. It took him hurting our kids for me to wake the F up.
My husband pissed I was dying too after he broke my hand infront my family n neighbors...he did his most I took him back thou n guess wat 3 days ago he was about to hit me with a chair n I took my self n my kid n we got out n there is no goin back I know all this she is goin thru
You are so right Clinton, domestic abuse has no age limit and boundaries. Praying for you and your situation and the courage to leave.. its in there( your strength) , you just have to remember you are strong enough. Sending prayers and strength to you .
I hope you’re safe now, Janet. Please call a domestic violence hotline, go to a women’s shelter, please please do something. You deserve a happy life and I know it is possible for you...God bless you miss. Love from Canada
i am so very proud of you. Bless your amazing little girl for that wise call to your momma. So many positives.. in this all too common story.. i have shared on my facebook page. Thank you for alerting .. so many and sharing your Truth. LOVE katherine
When you were saying as hard as he was trying to kill you, he couldn't do it...I was thinking God was putting a wall of defense upon you, and then you said you called upon Jesus. I thought, yes! There is actually a powerful force that comes into play from the unseen world into this realm we live it, his name brings protection and deliverance. He had a plan for you and knew something in you believed in him. Amazing what God can do for us! I've been delivered myself from what the Bible calls "the violent man". Never look back. God is faithful!
Atta girl...you've come a long way. Take care and stay in the light. Be there for your children and yes...Its God's hand that we must reach out to in the hours of despair.
Police officers must start taking these women seriously there are too many dieing while trying to seek help. Like she said you have a 70% chance of being murdered when you do decide to leave. This is why I have trained and educated myself and those around me to look for the signs!
I’m going through this situation now Ifeel lost, depressed and sometimes don’t wanna live. I getting belittled and treated like an animal I’m hit on, spit on and called names daily. I wanna leave and get out but I’m infearier of my life pleas PEOPE PRAY 4 me. I don’t sleep or eat good and my faith is going I’m a mother of 4 and 2 is with the abuser he has even put a gun to my head and I did call the police and they didn’t believe me because I wasn’t bruised bad when they got there they arrested him however I got scared and went to court and recanted my story. Please 4 me.
Hannah Willis I pray in Jesus name that you get the strength to leave, I pray that the strength and demonic thoughts that gets through your abuser be disabled when trying to hit you in Jesus name. You will live, you will get away from this and you will find strength from this and you will be a testimony. I pray that you leave for good, may the Holy Spirit give you the strength, capacities and enlighten you how you need to get away. Stay safe. Xx
Thankyou so much. It takes a lot of courage to talk about this stuff. I appreciate you hunny. I appreciate you're honesty first & foremost. Its not an easy life....when u choose to stay. Degradation. Period. We punish ourselves.....for what....only we know
Elizabeth Foley thank you sweetheart. It's not always been easy to share..but its gotten eaiser. So many people judge and talk about what they would or wouldn't do..which contribute to the reason why so many abused women(and men) have a hard time speaking up. I wish women especially, would embrace each other more and make it eaiser for their fellow sisters to feel they have a safe place to share their experiences they are having at home/in their relationships...it all begins with a conversation. I try to share my story so others may understand their own. ❤️
