As a guy I've struggled with not being attractive enough as well and I think I've sorted out why its hard. If someone isn't as good at something they just adapt and find something they are good at to make money. You can't do that as easily with looks or smarts and so it becomes a point of shame. I think its important to realize that people are better looking than you. But that doesn't mean you can't find love or have a life. Just like how some people are dumber than others and manage just fine.
The crazy thing about photos is that they can lie. Depending on light and angle, you might look bigger, smaller, wider or taller from one photo to another. You can look at a photo and think "wow, I look fat" or think "wow, that's a really bad photo of me" - it's a bad photo, probably nothing wrong with you.
I guess that's the point -we all know models are photoshopped etc, but we keep comparing because of the fear of not being beautiful. And we think beauty means acceptance and happiness and that needs to be changed.
This is quite educational. I am guy and I thought I don't have this problem until you are mentioning pictures. I hate taking pictures, and this could be that I am not satisfy with my look. So, I will be taking some advice and learn to accept myself more.
Yes, men put pressure on women to look good (though it's mostly the jerks who do so, IMO). However, most of that pressure actually comes from other women and how women naturally obsess over competing with one another. It's a serious problem because women refuse to listen to the praise from the men they're dating, and instead listen to their peers and the resulting voice in her head. And just FYI, make-up, fake nails, etc make *all* women look ridiculous… for the same reason that men would look ridiculous if they highlighted their imperfect abs, pecs, and biceps… or if they wore high heels to look taller. So stop wasting your money on all that make-up, manicures, beauty treatments, and excessive clothing. True beauty is natural beauty and how you carry yourself. Just be yourself and take pride in yourself. Yes, some people are naturally more attractive than others. Men deal with this, too, and women are even more selective! Just be patient and good things will come if you hold your head up and be yourself.
Alex Dunkel Makeup doesn't necessarily make women look ridiculous in all cases, except in large amounts. We're just so used to seeing most women with at least some one that what you're probably thinking of as "natural" is probably natural-looking makeup. The woman speaking in this video is most likely wearing makeup, but it looks normal.
Alaina Atk. I'm talking about women who have removed their make-up and are fresh out of the shower. That's what I find attractive. Yes, light, natural make-up is common. It's better, and I won't complain about it. But I really do prefer the natural look.
+Alex Dunkel I completely agree with your original comment. I don't feel much pressure to look good from other guys - I can go out in sweats and my hair up in a bun and get whistles and a little ego-boost. Other women make me insecure. If I get that little needling in my mind, it's because I'm insecure of what other women would think of me, not guys. Most guys that are worth giving your time to, don't actually care all that much. They want you to be healthy. Women are vicious when it comes to looks, and they are who I have the most issues with. I even got turned down for a job by another woman because I wasn't pretty enough and didn't do my makeup like she wanted, and it was an office job - I've never been turned down by a man for not looking pretty enough. Ever.
I was dating a guy for months before he realised I don't wear any make-up at all. Women on the other hand - my favourite is hairdressers. "You've got really nice hair, would you let me curl it/straighten it/dye it ..." well if you think it's nice why do you want to change it?
I'd like someone to speak about this topic for men too. I still don't understand why the world completely ignore that men have the same body image issues. Moreover, we have far fewer "tricks" than women to disguise our imperfections (not to say we don't have anything).
Maybe men should talk about it more openly? I see this whataboutism about this topic so much; where are the male anorectic a, orthorectics, overeaters, self haters etc.? You need to speak up. Women's been crying out about this for years and years and nothing's changed. You have to shout it out with us and hopefully we'll be heard.
VilleGardian Look back a few decades, there has always been different things "trendy". Once a double chin was a sign of attractiveness! Always remember that..Beauty is only what you make it 👆 And the more people understand that, the more will not care about an hourglass figure anymore.
Exactly. When a woman puts on foundation to hide her pimples, does that make her more healthy? Nope. Beauty suggests health, but they are not the same thing and you can become more beautiful without making yourself healthier. This is an argument created by people to justify their narcissism without having to face it.
OMG 1.30 "because that's what we do" Women are sellers and men are buyers which is to say women have the luxury of idly selecting which male suitor enjoys the privilege of propagation. Meanwhile a man has to venture out and demonstrate some level of competence before even daring to proposition the princess. Think every fairytale ever, not only does the man have to be a charming prince he also just so happens to have gone out and slain a DRAGON before an audience is even countenanced. Now in order to change this dynamic or "social construct" not only would we have to change the biological reality that women bare children by a highly costly 9 month ordeal we would also have to force women to proposition men on the basis of both beauty and achievement while being fully prepared for the acrimony of rejection. Good luck with that! Incidentally this just so happens to be the same reason why girls don't have the interest to tackle difficult domains like S.T.E.M. fields and the like or compete in highly competitive hierarchies (political and corporate leadership...) because they don't necessarily have to in order to enjoy reproductive success which is the ultimate goal of success in life's evolutionary game and hence the gender pay gap.
Eman Madek just so you those fairytales were written by men. Women have been taught that they need to be rescued and have been made for many years to feel that their value is only in their appearance
Well, maybe they were some written by men. But he mentioned a good point - the reproductive success being a subconscious end goal for the majority of all human beings. Maybe as women it's not even an issue for you so far. But it would be great to hear your thoughts on it.. I am a father of a little girl and also sick of the market just pushing pink and blue, and esp all these big eyed princess figures in Disney movies. I guess this extreme visuals of Disney have a greater impact than the old stories. And even educated parents are buying their daughters all this.
Only because you don't feel confortable in your skin, doesn't mean you should blame it on men. Same thing goes the other way around. You're bringing sexism to a subject that has nothing to do with it.
"you're beautiful"... If you have perfect skin, bone structure and hip-to-waist-ratio and of course are'nt I'll or otherwise sub-human... That God damned "health" bit... Don't get me wrong, if you have the energy/means/life to go for it and work on your health at the highest rate, go for it. But not all people do and this is ableism and exclusiveness more than recognition of whatever it's supposed to be. Am I the only one thinking that this anti selfhatred/beauty speech crashed and burned at those "facts" listed? It seems pretty counterproductive to me (said the old broad with the lines, the crooked jaw and the cecarien scar)
