Becoming the “Black Sheep” in my Mormon Family - Rylee Porter | Ep. 1774 

I’ve been the black sheep of my family for forty wonderful years after leaving the church and I’ve never regretted it once.

Mormon Stories was a lifeline during my transition out of mainstream Mormonism. Thank you John and your amazing team.

Once again commenting to say that I so appreciate Margi as a cohost and her thoughtful and insightful questions and comments. Every episode she’s in is better for it. Very powerful!

I left the church decades ago after the way I was treated after a somewhat bitter divorce. I had no one. I’m SO glad there is a community now…❤

Members in my ward growing up in NC used to say “if you want to stay in the church, don’t move to Utah”. No truer words.

I'm a very recent (yesterday) retired librarian and music teacher. I left Utah in 2000 to teach abroad. I had grown weary of having to face off with holier-than-thou, ultra-conservative BOOK BURNERS in the 84414 zip code. Your loss, North Ogden. I've had a very enjoyable career, working with a diverse population from across Europe.

To Jocee - I’m a woman in STEM, a software E graduate working in missile defense and just wanted to say thanks for your activism. I’m blessed to work with many intelligent and diverse women in my particular team but I remember in my classes being either the only woman or one of two. Cheering you on from Alabama ❤️🎉

I was the blacksheep and only girl in my family and it took YEARS for me to realize that it wasn't really about me. And after much work, I finally have redeemed myself in the eyes of those who blamed me for much of what was wrong in our house. Spoiler alert: it was never me.

2:53:10 - 2:53:55 Is so heartbreaking. This is the aspect of the Mormon faith crisis that I've personally found to be the hardest. Trying to let your parents know that you don't believe anymore and that you have decided to take a different direction for your life because you don't see any alternative but to be true to yourself but also knowing that it will break their heart to see you make that choice and that they may take it personally.

Was invited to speak and play at one of the dinners Ensign Peak hosted. After sharing my emotional story, brochures were passed out on how we can invest in an effort to support the Church. 🤦🏻🤷🏻 Of course, I waived my performance fee that fed my family.

I’m completely stunned. I’ve been following this podcast for a few months and I always think of my one friend from elementary school. She was the only Mormon I knew and I’ve always had a positive view of Mormons because of her and her family. To see Rylee’s thumbnail completely shook me. I’m from NJ and rode the bus with her. I always wondered how she was doing ❤

Margri Dehlin, is a special person, I can see her inner glow,🖐👍🙏

I love this episode. It makes me feel so validated in my own Mormon story. Being the only one out in my family I unfortunately went down the path of feeling isolated so I ended up using unhealthy coping mechanisms. This story gives me hope and a sense personal power. Thank you 🙏

So my kids and I weren't the only weird ones? I grew up in NJ and raised my kids in Utah County. I was shocked when my kids told me how much worse the culture was in UT!! I just knew I never fit in, but the fanatical/degrading young womens' modesty presentations, teaching my kids that if they looked up anything negative about the church their computers would get a virus, oh my gosh yes the shaming of kids of divorced parents/single moms!!! I could go on and on about that for hours, the marriage counseling priesthood leaders claimed they could do for everyone in the stake because they had revelation, and I agree so much with how narrow-minded, Puritanical, and crazy the health (sex) ed lessons in high school were (they showed them horror pictures of sexually transmitted diseases and the only protection was abstinence!) Thank you!!!

This podcast had me absolutely captivated from beginning to end. Rylee, oh boy, she is an extraordinary woman of remarkable strength and courage. The way she fearlessly shared her story was truly awe-inspiring. I was completely engrossed for the entire three hours, not once losing interest. It's incredible how someone like her can leave such an indelible impact. You know, life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, and I, too, find myself navigating my own challenges within the church at the moment. Hearing Rylee's experiences was precisely what I needed. It resonated with me on such a deep level. In a world that can often feel chaotic and uncertain, encountering someone like Rylee, who has overcome immense obstacles, serves as a beacon of hope and inspiration. Her story reminded me that strength can be found even in the darkest of moments. All in all, this podcast featuring Rylee was an absolute gem. It provided the solace and encouragement I was seeking. I'm grateful for her openness and vulnerability. Thank you Rylee!

I'm SO happy Rylee got the opportunity to bear her soul and tell her story. And no better people to do it with than John and Margi, who always blows me away with her love and empathy and frequently moves me to tears. And Rylee, I hope this was very cathartic for you. I feel privileged to hear your story. Thank you.

At 2:57:00 Margi is simply brilliant. She was so spot on. I was deeply moved.

I loved hearing Rylee's story. It reminded me of my own story in a lot of ways. I'm glad John called the audible and made this into 3 parts so both girls could tell their story.

Whew, this one really hits home for me. Starting to have doubts as a teenager is so hard because only members of the church would understand the conversations you want to have, but it’s not safe to have those conversations with them.

20 years later, tears streaming down my face, listening to her words. That exact reason I have not removed my records. My last known record is in the ward that My mom grew up in from the age of two. And I just have a feeling whoever they call Will know my mom or grandma and I’ll get that same call she got from her dad.

John is such an amazing psychologist! As an educator, I just see how so many kids need this support when they’re struggling. No judgement just compassion! Amazing young women! John, God chose your ministry and it’s Mormon stories!

Love the clarity, perspective, intelligent integration by these women. Thank you for your powerful story.

Loved this episode and really resonate with story Rylee. I’m the oldest and was the black sheep of my family growing up and for many years in my early adulthood before I was able to rebuild my relationship with my family. I loved the part where John said you were a pioneer in your family. I’ve always felt that way. I was the first to challenge the church and to leave out of my siblings. Now 3 out of 4 have left. In many ways I opened up my parents minds to embrace more individuality instead of believing that everyone had to fit into the same box. It’s created a much healthier family dynamic, even though my parents are still active, believing members.

This was a really good episode, my heart goes out to Rylee. Sometimes apologizing too much to grown children can cause more issues if they are Narcissistic & want to blame & hold a grudge. I apologized a lot to my now 28 year old. She’s been estranged emotionally since she was 16 & physically off & on ever since she moved out at 18. I noticed the more I apologized the more resentful she became. I left the church right before she turned 13 so she never had to go through Young Women’s or Seminary. She is luckier than she realizes in that regard.

Oh my gosh. John's comments towards the end about how societal priorities are individual health, family, then religion, but high demand cult-like religions flip the order with religion above all-- absolute gold. Church members will still say it's family 1st bc they're trying to keep the family together forever bc they just 'love each member so much', but in practice, it's excrutiatingly obvious how religion comes 1st. Family relationships, & the mental health of *everyone* involved are utterly & unapologetically demolished over differences in belief, opinions, & lifestyle. It's gut-wrenching how overlooked that fact is. Side note, female in STEM here in Silicone Slopes. Go ladies! We need you! Thank you JoCee for shining a beacon for other ladies to see. Other note, Rylee, fellow eldest & 1st black sheep here. Way to charge forward as you did, your courage cannot be understated. Much love to you, sister! Your pain is infinitely relatable & I'm sorry you had to pave that road feeling so alone.

Thank you all for your authenticity. Its helped me to hear that your parenting caused some harm and we are doing the best we can. Your speaking frankly helped me know how I can just speak frankly to my adult children about anything. I will most definitely follow your lead. Who knew you could just speak to kids so frankly? Made my day. All the love in the world.

I'm a never mormon but relate to Rylee so much. I'm the oldest of 3 girls and my parents also really struggled to let me experience life and held on too tight. I was also the black sheep growing up and was keenly aware of that as a teenager and young adult. It's taken years to build a relationship with my parents as an adult and also their child. I'm so thankful to be able to hear her story and find so many pieces that I connect with.

My parents moved with my younger sister to North Ogden and Weber HS my senior year- listening to Rylee’s experience sounds horrifyingly similar to her experience in their ward, with her peers, and at the high school. I was a senior and stayed with family to finish my schooling in utah county with friends, but had MANY moments of absolute disgust and fury when listening to the stories of bullying and ostracizing that she had to endure in that area. All for being as wise and strong as Rylee… and advocating for truths that I am only recently being exposed to and coming to fully understand. It is 100% a tale of OZ with families being damaged in the wake. Love and respect for Rylee and the family. Can’t wait to listen to part 2! ❤

From South Africa... This must surely be my all time favourite podcast and I've listened to many. Cant wait for Part 2 but its past midnight here...Rylee, you were brilliant ❤ When i "wrote my letter of resignation" my only answer was that i could no longer live a lie knowing what i knew. That was 17 years ago and today i am grateful i made that decision because IMO as long as one's name is still on the records you're still "one of them". I applaud your strength of character. May you inspire others to follow their truth. Much love ❤

I love how respectful and honoring they are when they talk about their parents.They are certain of their parents unconditional for them which is such a gift.

Love, love, love this episode. I relate a lot to Rylee- I knew in my soul that something was wrong with the church when I confessed to my bishop who was also my paternal uncle and neighbor, about making out with a boy when I was a teenager. My belief was that I didn't to go through anyone to have a relationship with God. Most of my paternal family are stil TBMs. It's interesting to know from a young age that you don't share the beliefs of your immediate and extended family. Thanks for sharing Rylee & JoCee! Excited to hear more from JoCee on the next episode.

These two are just adorable! If you see this, Bro and Sis Porter, they are lovely and raised so well💞

Wow. I didn’t grow up on the East coast, but the Midwest with an investment banker dad… and I resonate with SO much of what they’re saying. Moving to Utah, seeing cultural disparities in the wards and stakes, etc. It’s kind of weird to hear some of it stated out loud because it seems like such a unique and different lived experience. Thank you for sharing your story!

Great interview. Glad MS decided to let the interview flow and have a pt 2 focused on Jocee. Both ladies are incredibly articulate and thoughtful. So sad the church created a wedge in their relationship growing up. Cheers to both ladies bravery! Rylee is a special person. I hope the interview and audience support help her release any insecurities and pain she may still be carrying. 🙏🏾

I'm the only inactive member in my family, and we don't talk about it at all. I never had parents that encouraged questioning authority. It's heartwarming to see people getting out so young.

Margi is the absolute best!

I grew up near your Grandparents in Roy! Your Grandma was a saint, she helped support our family with little acts of kindness when we were going through some hard times when I was a young teen. I connect with your stories on many levels, thank you for sharing!

My family was the same- literalist believers, but culturally we are an international family, and both my parents were converts. So I too didn't discover a lot of the really weird social norms of the church until I was in college, and the often hypocritical application of doctrine until much later. Not being from Utah - and especially having no roots in Utah - is truly a very different Mormon experience.

My family moved to the Porter street just before my kindergarten year. Jeff and I became best friends in the neighborhood through elementary. We had our own "bub" language. The Porter house was the gravitational center for all the neighborhood kids. For most of that time, Jeff's dad raised his family of six kids through his own business making and distributing stuffed animals. Perhaps because our family also had six kids of similar ages and my dad raised our family on a high school teacher's salary, I never thought of the Porters as "destitute." I'm sure their dad sacrificed a great deal and whatever extra was had went to his six kids. They had great Christmases. There is a lot of nuance to their grandfather's story which I hope the grandkids appreciate. He is a great man in his way. This is not to discount the grandkids' impression of the past, likely gleaned from Jeff's stories over the years. It's only a comment from someone who shared part of this lived experience. I loved this Mormon Story. Jeff should be very proud to have such exceptional daughters. Shine on, both of you!

Margi…we are ALL waiting for your foundation/ skincare recommendations!!! Your skin is so glowing and beautiful 😻 ps… Thank you for all your heartfelt comments and questions during this episode. You are amazing.❤

Rylee, when I was in 3rd grade, the teacher asked if we knew where the garden of Eden was located and I raised my hand and yelled out “MISSOURI”. Everyone died laughing and I was so mad when I got home from school at my parents for telling me that!!

I feel so relatable to Rylee! I am looked at as the “black sheep” because I am raising a son who gets to make choices about religion for himself. I have chosen to leave this religion for myself, my husband is on the fence. But my son it has always been a choice because it wasn’t one for me. I am given names and titles and whatever by varying members of my family. Yet I’m the only one who graduated from college as far as siblings go, I didn’t want to get married because of the gender roles I was taught in Utah. I don’t live the typical Utah gender roles. There is nothing wrong with them, but I never fit in with them, so I was looked down on. I graduated high school in 1999, so when Rylee was in elementary school. But I wasn’t taught to think critically. I still question if I do or how I do it. My parents have said the same thing about me and my feelings with the church! It’s a very personal injury to them. Not the child that is a drug addict running from the cops, or the one who conforms in every way to what my dad wants and can’t think for himself and has never had a job he got on his own. But I am the problem because I ask questions and I challenge what I think. Sorry didn’t mean to make this all about me it’s just so relatable that I feeling like I’m jumping up and down yelling “I get it!!!” I get what you mean and you are not a black sheep! You are an amazing young woman who had the guts to jump out of something she didn’t believe early and I wish I had that kind of bravery!!! 3:01:12

I want what JoCee is having...she is so chill!

I’m glad they circled back to Rilee’s Primary Care Physician being her Bishop, that seems almost out of character for their parents to choose that from how they’ve been described. Maybe it’s just a way smaller area than I’m imagining. No judgement, just interested in all the psychology, I blame John & Margi 😉 Thanks for sharing with us! Edit: THE TEARS. 😭 ALL the validation. 👏

The concluding segment concerning parenting is truly remarkable; it presents an exquisite blend of authenticity and humanity that is deeply moving and beautiful. It manages to capture the essence of parenthood with an honesty that resonates profoundly.

Your channel has been my rock! Thank you for blessing my life, I can’t imagine how I would have done it without you and your amazing interviews ❤ Much love to all of you!!

I like the fact that Rylee started doing research & going down the rabbit hole at 18 before the CES letter & before a lot of things came out in the open about the church, Rylee if John ever lets me share my Mormon story i would love to have you, Margi & Nate from black menace be a part of it

Completely understand your frustration and emotions, my family has also managed wealth for the church and my stepmother is secretary/assistant to the president and prophet Russell M Nelson. Just as Kirton|McConkie Law firm has done extensive damage to the reputation of the church concerning abuse cases and the bishops help line, Ensign peak has become a big part of the church’s history of neglect and abuse of power and wealth. These corrupted institutions shield the church from accountability! I’m feeling not so alone today, thank you for sharing.

to be a scapegoat is to be a pioneer in our family. so well put. we are tough people once we go through that.

Impressive... articulate... intellectual young women wish them all the best on the new journey 🙏

I’m very thankful my parents encouraged us to question everything. It applies to everything not just religion. We all need to think more critically. The world is full of information that should be questioned.

Don’t apologize there’s literally thousands of people who need to hear this

Another powerful interview. Can't wait for part 2!

To be fair.. moving anywhere with a new culture is rough. We moved from the Seattle grunge culture to Colorado mountain sport culture, and my entire 8th grade year was culture shock, having nothing to do with religion. I literally didn't talk to anyone at school for a year, worst year of my life up until that point. People are still people regardless of religion. The baseball bat incident is absolutely horrible. Though sadly, horrible things like this happen other places as well. Religion or no. But yes- when religion is involved, weird social dynamics are created around behavior. When you say you are the most righteous and most correct, then there's a that higher expectation to at least back it up with action. And secondly, there's a resistance to accountability, because admitting you're ever in the wrong is like admitting you're not a good Mormon, that you might not go to heaven.. it's like admitting your church might not be true, etc. So there's this undercurrent here of not admitting wrongdoing, and everyone understands that no one will and that's the way it is. I have to say though.. public education here is pretty shockingly bad. Have to agree there.

2:53:30 This is why I had planned to never resign from the church even though I left years ago. Even though my immediate family is supportive, my relatives are TBM and I don't want to have a conversation like this. The thing that finally made me feel morally obligated to resign was when the article about the church covering up sex crimes against children came out.

Thank you for bravely sharing your stories

I have enjoyed this podcast. Thank you for sharing with us. I love this pod cast and listen every evening. This is a sad tale. I also turned away from the church when I attended USU. I was away from the church for 12 years. I returned and raised my children in the church they were both raised in the church and served missions. After a move and retiring, I am the one that is slipping. Being a Mormon has always been a part of my life. After this move I have not always felt a part of it. I am single and retired, but I appre😮ciate your conversations. I love to. , it helps others, thus church has been my life. I have some hard questions to ask, as settle! Love Nrphi andNrphi and slam am, study the gospel. I love the history of the saints. I have 4 sides pioneer ancestors that came to Utah for the church from many places. I love the church, but it can be hard to live. 😮 good luck to every one, thx 3:14:22 my for sharing your wonderful story with us. Love for everyone. Thank you all if you . ❤️ hi

I'm surprised to hear that Utah is inferior in education. When I was a kid in the Mormon church outside of Utah, all I heard was how important education is.

Rylee I find it very interesting that you had questions about the church & certain types of doctrine waaaay before you went to college, but it's stories like these that let me know I'm not the only one who went through this & that the path I'm on, being a Heterodox Christian is completely okay, and by the way my mom is a believing Christian who doesn't believe in going to church as well, your mom is a rockstar and I hope your mom knows that we got her back and I will keep her in prayer 😊

I really really like that Margi has joined & been a part of the podcasts more & more in the last year. She adds great perspectives.

Ive been listening for a while and have had no idea why I find these so interesting as a never mormon. But theres always something relatable in these, mormon or not. And there is always something inspiring about people breaking out of their mold. I deconstructed from baptism when i went off to college, and now i'm a college drop out, tattoo artist (yes i'm covered), and a nihilist. Ive never felt more at peace and happy with myself.

Hello! Great interview with these two intelligent women! Thank you! My only issue was, as a Mexican American Roman Catholic, I felt really uncomfortable with one of the sisters saying kind of a blanket statement saying that Mormons and Jews were the only ones that are good with money. That is very stereotyping, especially for Jews. And then saying that Mormons were really the only sought after upstanding citizens that don't drink, have the discipline, good families, etc. to be able to have a really great career. Maybe it wasn't meant to come off offensive, but it kind of did. My dad worked for over 25 yrs at Honeywell, has been married to my mom for over 54 yrs, and raised a very good family coming from poor migrant workers that lived in tents growing up alongside the fields they worked. He was (is)disciplined, a Veteran, well educated, rarely drank, polite, a gentleman, worked really hard to build up something for his family, and so did the rest of his dozen siblings! And they were NOT Mormon but a Christian faith. Just something to think about before saying blanket statements like that, especially about the Jewish faith.

Eldest sister power!!! Wonderful episode and i can't wait for the next two.

I read "Dark Money" by Jane Mayer, years ago. I remember I couldn't finish it because it was so shocking & upsetting...the GREED, the power, the GREED, the money, and did I mention the NEVER-ENDING GREED!!!

Wow Margie, beautiful response to the black sheep comment! What a gift you both are to these people on your podcast! ❤

I love the longer intros.

I think this is the first time I've ever heard anyone talk about loving hiking and the outdoors in Utah on a mormon stories episode. I am a nevermormon who moved from the east coast to colorado, and my favorite thing in the entire world is going on road trips to Utah to hike and take photos and be in nature - it really is like Mecca. I have been very tempted to move to Utah just to be closer to the national parks but the culture is so conservative. It's insane to me that people grow up in Utah and make the church their entire life when the outdoors is RIGHT THERE and it is so amazing and like nowhere else on earth!

I am so happy I found this channel. I grew up jack Mormon in Oregon and I still (in my 40's) are realizing the mal adaptive effects of my relatively periferal involvement in the church. Its intergenerational. My parents really dislike my need for transparency and truth. Its offensive to them because they want to remain in their delusions and are afraid of losing it all and starting over. I get it. Its still cowardly. It won't kill them. I've had to start over many many times.

Mormonism has been a very exclusive religion since its inception. There should be ZERO surprise that they have been intricately involved in matters of money seeing they coined and issued their OWN gold coins for commerce within their communities.

This reminds me of my mom and dad. And my mom was from Brigham City also and my dad was a journalist. We lived all over the world and my mom followed my dad everywhere but she would have been happy to live in Brigham City!

It's really refreshing because I have felt the very same way since we moved back to Utah my God My Relations Neighbors could not get me to go to the society Christmas party and therefore hardly getting up and talk to me now you understand everything you're saying

Having grown up as a south Jersey Mormon, I relate with so much of this. Little different flavor down south in my beach community but so many similarities. Early morning seminary consisted of 8 high schools, including kids attending catholic school. Huge socioeconomic and ethnic diversity. Very faithful and a very close family that we were never able to find living in Utah (no offense to Utah). Anyway, despite my current beliefs, I have similar very positive memories of my New Jersey mormon upbringing.

Margi adds so much To the podcasts. So grateful to have her in more💖💖💖

It’s usually difficult for me to listen through an entire Mormon Stories episode because of how long they are, but I could not put this down! Thank you so much for sharing your story.

I remember thinking to myself as a teenager, if I'm a black sheep, at least my wool doesn’t stain as easy. And it was so true when I officially left the church. It was easier for me because I wasn’t exactly a pillar of Mormonism, so I had nothing to lose leaving.

This was so relatable and captivating. I am sending these beautiful brave people all the love in rhe world. ❤ Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story with us!

I HATED going to visit the cousins in Utah every other summer. Going to church there was awful--everyone's best friends were already mormon so they didn't care if new people were visiting at church. Back home, we went nuts over new people coming to church/activities. Years later my company asked me to move to SLC and I said you'd have to double my salary. They laughed thinking I was joking. Nope!

I hope Rylee allows JoCee to talk in the next interview lol 😂😂😂 Rylee reminds me so much of me. I apparently won't let my family talk haha! Very interesting interview ladies! ❤❤ I am Baptist and we know a missionary family who moved to Utah to lead a Baptist Church there. They were treated horribly and the kids were really treated badly at school. Apparently the Mormon kids hated them. It was so bad the family finally moved back to TN. I had never met a mean Mormon when I heard this story so I thought maybe all Mormons were mean but hid it well, this explains so much!

Love these two girls stories. I can relate to the hard shock of moving to utah. I was born in the church and moved to Utah when I was 16 and my shelf was first formed because of it. Utah Mormons are the absolute worst!

Just started watching and wanted to say the lighting looks so good in this video!

Incredible episode. Love this story. Nice job girls.

There is a sense of beauty in being a black sheep. Black sheep are actually beautiful.

This hits home for me so powerfully, on multiple levels: the black sheep; the parent; should I stay or should I go; if I put my own mental health of it all as a top priority will I make myself a lone man in the world?

2:27:56 "And that was 'church' to me." Brilliant comment.

JoCee, I love your activism for females in STEM professions ❤🎉 🎉 I can attest to being the only woman in the room as mechanical engineer, working as technical project leader and in R&D for a manufacturer in the refrigeration technology sector. There weren't many women when I studied to become an engineer, and now, there are even less around the workplaces I have experienced. What troubles me personally is that as the sole woman, there is NO room for mistakes because you stand out and it is usually also expected that you constantly deliver better quality of work than men. And at the same time this naturally makes a woman a career-wise threat to the male colleagues who may band together to keep you in a lower position. Me too, I see the situation of almost no STEM ladies and I don't appreciate it! I always take part in youth outreach programmes for girls, so that girls can see a woman in a technical profession. I just hope that these girls can maybe see themselves in me. It's a real challenge on a broad societal scale, imo. Only when I studied did I realise that the whole lived experience and upbringing as a female is thwarted that way with many obstacles and prejudices - girls' toys are not technically savvy, girls are not expected to do well in physics, girls don't know car engines, and so on. This is all quite sad imo: I think that if I hadn't studied engineering and started working in the industry, I would never even have realised what huge potential I command and how talented I am :/ Thus I assume that there is a lot of wasted female STEM talent out there.

I am constantly impressed and amazed by how much your guests have endured and overcome.

Awesome vibe! Safe for Mormons too!

I would have loved to hear more from the younger sister.Rylee really dominated this interview.

Living in the San Francisco Bay area for 30 years I really noticed a difference about how Mormons were down there they didn't drive you nuts like they do here they were very easy going and tolerant more tolerant I noticed how Untold rent Mormon to wear when we move back here due to job situations and how judgmental they are here in Utah not like that change of attitude whatsoever

There are thousands of home schooling kids in Utah that have left public education. Often their parents were average and poor but wanted the best for their kids.

Wow, great family saga and process. Learning much from these fine people. Keep this going!

I went to dental school in Jersey and was in the same stake as the short hills ward. I can attest to what they shared about leadership. I was in a branch presidency where we lived but the other two were assigned from wealthier areas. The bishop of the Spanish ward was the only local I knew of in leadership.

As another black sheep of the family i relate so much to riley and relate to her reasons for leaving and relate to the church losing moral credibility. I never had the language to describe that and when she said that i was like yes thats it for me too! Left at 18 and was distant with family for years as well.

My wife recently left and we told her (very active) family. It was wonderful with how loving and understanding they were. Me personally I wish I could be as open with mine. My family and friends, I love them to death. But opening up about these things turns me into a problem to be solved and so many assumptions and justifications are made to as why my feelings are wrong. It’s not a fun situation and I wished I had more people would understand.

Thank you for giving JoCee time to talk.

I’m crying! Post Mormons are an amazing group and so loving and welcoming and validating! Completely agree! The community I have met through this has been the thing that has kept me going. They have helped me know I’m not alone even though I am alone in my beliefs. Completely agree! They are such wonderful people and this podcast has been so helpful and stories like yours and soon JoCees is so helpful! ❤ 3:13:37

I met this friend and when we began to get along well, it was stunning how quick we recognized each other as black sheep from LDS families without even bringing up the topic, it was intuitive. It's sad to see cool people like him and these young ladies in the flesh, and know we all went through this LDS ordeal. I look back and realize that my first 26 years were a struggle to escape, I had to play along against my will many times to survive, becoming self sufficient was my obsession and I earned my freedom until I moved abroad to another continent. To this day, low key peer pressure continues and communication with relatives is cut off at different degrees and I ghosted some of them completely.

I think the church is a bit different from here in Canada. Im sorry you had to go through all that and had no real support from surroundings. I only say this because im inactive and have been of and on. No one has reached out to me about me not going to church on a regular basis. I have heard from people that they have had experience with turmoil away from the church. I don’t believe that Mormon’s religion is a cult., That’s my opinion. I too, don’t agree with some things, i also voice them, and have conversations with the bishop and others when I invite them over. I dont ever feel the was you have discussed today. That is why I believe that the church( i mean the people with in it) are so closed minded and dont want to hear when someone is really struggling with their beliefs. I hope that you have amazing people around you now. I’ve tried to put it so people understand me. I had a hard time putting it in words. But, here it is. Tnx

This is definitely one of my favorite episodes!

They’re so cute. Definitely older sis is in charge. Her journey has my heart feeling squeezed and hurting for her. Such a brave trek.