There is so much courage and vulnerability in this woman, it can't be easy to relive those events, especially in front of a room full of strangers. Thank you for sharing your story.
The messed up so called 'care' system nearly ruined this wonderful woman's life, and nearly cost the life of a child. This idea that a child is best off with their parents no matter what is just so short sighted and dangerous.
Growing up, my neighbour was a foster parent and I spent a lot of time at her house and with her family. It was always so sad when the little ones, some as young as 18months old, would come back from a 2 or 3 days visitation with their family and do things like try and hoard food in their bedrooms or under couches, become exceedingly attached and clingy or even withdraw and stop. They would pick up after a few days back with my neighbour but either weekly or fortnightly they would go through it all again. While having some connection with birth parents can be important, the trauma they were reliving was clear. Surely there is a better way for these kids to build connections with their birth family while making sure their long-term mental well being is supported?
I’ve seen it as well. You have a unique perspective that most people don’t see. It is such a difficult balance. I know reunification is the goal when a child is taken from their parents. Unfortunately, the support and services the parents require isn’t always made available or accepted. This is something that must change. I support reunification when the child is safe and the parents accept and receive the support and services they require. Thank you for your comment.
So much admiration and respect I honor you beautiful soul Thank you for being such an inspiration and sharing your epic journey So happy for what you have achieved ❤🥰✨
Being the advocate for another person is unfortunately a hard uphill battle. But it can sometimes be the only light in that person's life. Carla, you have done something so incredibly special. We may never know all the ways in which you have improved the world. Thank you!
This needs to be seen way more. Her experience in the adoption system is much more common that anyone tells us. Thankfully there are people like Carla!
Mary - thank you! I believe a broader audience will shine the light on the impact of trauma on our children. First comes awareness. Thank you for watching and commenting. 💚
It is so sad she had to fight so hard for her son. If the system was better, he would never have gone back in the first place. The way the system is set up only sets individuals and families up for failure :(
While our journey was a hard one, I’m thankful that the system is getting educated about trauma and it’s impact. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it!
I am hoping our story helps provide a window into intergenerational trauma and the impact of physical and mental abuse & neglect. Thanks for your comment.
This was an awesome presentation. I’m happy for dealing with my ACE’s in life and business. It’s making a great deal in my life. We must do the internal work to be our best self.
Understanding of Trauma (both big ‘T’ and little ‘t’) is becoming so much more available and I am so glad that this conversation and understanding is growing. Thank you for your talk.
The terrible part about this, is that her case is not the exception. I have met and heard of so many foster carers and adopting parents who go through this with the birth parents who are bad. Thank god for her!
I am glad you see that this one story is not unique. Unfortunately intergenerational trauma without intervention and support perpetuates this kind of pain. That’s one reason why advocacy is so critical. It can help break the cycle.
Yes absolutely we have to talk about this stuff to normalise it! So much of the work around dealing with trauma is getting over your own feelings of guilt and shame. But when we start to talk about it and realise those are normal feelings we start to blame ourselves less and that creates opportunities for healing.
There are studies about how the mothers behaviours affect the child while in the womb, how trauma is inherited that way as well. This poor child is such a survivor and I really admire how hard this woman worked for him to get through it all.
Working with families has taught me that all family members are impacted by trauma. The actions of parents are very likely informed by trauma they experienced as a child too. We are all children before we become parents. I recommend learning more about Ghosts in the Nursery. "Only when the mother's cries are heard, will she hear her child's cries." -Selma Fraiberg
The power of persistence and determination is what I appreciate. She fought for freedom for her son and utilized trauma informed therapy and tools while in the battle.
That poor boy. He is blessed that you gave all you could and fought for him. So few children have anything like this and fall through the cracks. My heart breaks for this reality.
It is overwhelming to think about sometime. That’s why I wanted to share our story. How many more children are in need of a loving advocate? I believe we can make a difference - probably in a smarter way than I sis. 💚 Thank you for watching and commenting.
Calling the mother of a child their "birth mom" and calling yourself that child's mother, is traumatizing to the mother of the child. You've learned nothing.
If one cannot fulfill the purpose of a mother besides giving birth to them, and do not have the guts to get their child somewhere they will actually live Then yes, they are the biological parent but they are not the mom