I need help my name is Corey and I am scared for my life I have already called the cops once on my wife and I am stuck trying to figure out how to leave safely and secretly but I fear leaving my 3 and 2 year old with her she is unstable and very dangerous it's getting worse she chases me in the streets dispatch recommended her getting in the car and heading home while officers were on way and it didn't even faze her she continued I need help I am a 31 year old man I have never been so scared in my life we have our firearm carries and I have had to hide hers and disarm it totally because I don't know what she would do I fear for mine and my kids lives I need help please help me please I have involved my mother after 7 years and she recommended me to you for help I need to get away from this woman and keep my kids safe
Do you have products that offer an affiliate program? I have a comprehensive program regarding divorcing a narcissist and identifying one. Most of the courts and even the attorneys and guard see an end liebn's. Don't understand or identify a narcissist. But I think you're formation is helpful and might be Hel. Go to others so i'd like to include your product in my program for purchase.
Best advice I was given by a friend when we had to go to court and mediate, don't talk to or look at him. I think he started coming unglued and just couldn't shut up, finally revealing his true self. My lawyer had to deal with him at the courthouse because he was so smart he didn't need one. So glad they got to see the real him and the divorce was granted that day. Up until that day, everything had gone his way and I was feeling defeated. Keeping my composure and holding my head up while not acknowledging him at court helped me get through it.
❤🎉❤ MAGNIFICENT GRATITUDE BEAUTIFUL SOUL, I WILL FOLLOW UR BEAUTIFUL ADVICE, IT WILL ALSO DRIVE MINE CRAZY, MINE HASN'T BEEN SERVED PAPERWORK YET BUT VERY SOON 🎉❤🎉 GLAD UR FREE❤
Totally, I am nine years out from my divorce and I read something recently that you know you’ve healed when you don’t feel the need to defend your story anymore. I’m so proud of myself I had written you a long response detailing everything that i had gone through in my nasty divorce with a narcissist... and I just deleted it ! you’re welcome🤣🙌💕 A good lawyer is worth their weight in gold. my lawyer helped me hold onto my children And my house I would be lost without them. And she helped me to fight one of the biggest bullies I have ever known in my lifetime and that is something I am so proud of to this day! I never wanted to be a divorced woman . But there was no staying anymore. And because I fought him hard he eventually left us alone.
@@BrotherToby85 i hear you with the flying monkeys. Is so difficult but unfortunately I have dealt with narcissists in my previous relationship and my current relationship/husband of 5 years with a total of 10 years together. The twisting of things and smear campaign is ridiculous. I lost friends with the previous ex and I chose to cut certain people from my circle this time around who have been believing his lies. When I stopped replying to his texts and not answering phone calls it made the smearing much worse and my father in law is a narcissist as well so it doesn’t help that my in laws have smear campaigned me for 10 years already
@@rachaelarcher5407 wow smh.. I'm sorry to hear that. I believe the best thing to do is remember your "why's" as to why you have cut them off, why you chose to move forward, why you chose peace and so on. These past 5 months have been great for me!
@@BrotherToby85 each day is easier by the minute. I have god on my side through it all and am so thankful for his grace. However he has gone as far as to drive by the place I’m living at late at night to see if my car is there or by my friends home. It’s disturbing to say the least but I’m not letting it stop me from living my life
My narcissist filed for divorce in a fit of anger and then was even more angry that I didn't contest it. I didn't hire a lawyer or even show up to court, that's how little I cared at that point. Sent his lawyer and the court a letter saying that I didn't contest it and accepted the terms of our separation agreement as the final agreement and was done. Court date comes and goes and he calls me, screaming mad that I didn't even show up. LOL he was still screaming when I hung up the phone.
Wow. what if the terms left u with nothing? That took guts. He threatened to divorce me also but he talks more then he acts. He said DO an ad in paper. I need a real solid divorce. You were strong. That's great!
I made sure I consulted with every good lawyer in town before I left; had divested myself of all joint assists (except the ho8se , which reverted from tenant in entirety to tenants common). Then I divorced in Virginia and he couldn’t afford an attorney and never showed up at court (probably those 2 drunk driving incidents in less than 6 month) Was very hard to get him served, hired private server who sent sexy blond to side door that he answered, served. Divorce automatically granted without cause in va. The lord had other plans for me. I am in serv8ce to my nation and my god.
He is schizophrenic I even tried to get an annulment for non disclose of a material fact after our first s0n died at 6.5 weeks (yeah lost my son vision and profession all in 30 days, took years to get all my degrees before I could leave)
Totally he even told me once “I can be your best friend if you stay with me, but if you leave me I will be your worst enemy” and he did it. When I decide to leave him he kick me out of home and took all our money..
Totally! You described my divorce exactly the way it happened! I feel so validated watching your videos - thank you! I was one of the lucky ones - all the suggestions you made I'd done. It took four long years, but I'm on the other side and not looking back.
Just came back to thank you. It's been literally your advice preparing me properly for divorce. Due to this I collected hard evidence for _everything_ when preparing and really needed some I wouldn't have thought to be relevant otherwise. Divorce is almost done, currently it looks like they effed themself by committing perjury several times. (They never learn.) Don't get me wrong, people, I don't wish them any bad but this way everything they threw in to attack me bounced back on them. Seems like karma actually _is_ a thing.
TOTALLY!! My husband is a true narcissist. He aksed me or a divorce after being married 18 1/2 years because he found another woman. He took everything from me literally. He even went into my closet and took back shirts he gave me years ago. This divorce we are going through could be simple however he is making me feel like everything is my fault. Literally his whole court complaint was all about me. He belives he walks on water. I am in the fight for my life. More importantly, our children's lives. He doesn't care who he is hurting.
Awesome suggestions for strategy. I would add to this list is to eliminate contact with the narcissist so the narcissist can't work you over with terror tactics and have all communication in writing, either via email or through the lawyer. This will give you great peace of mind and enable you to think clearly through the divorce process. It's a suggestion that lawyers should make to their clients in these types of cases. If a client shows up in a lawyer's office showing signs of fear, it means the narcissist has been working the client over already and a big red flag that the client's spouse is a narcissist.
Sure wished I had this information in January when I was totally blindsided by my husband of 13yrs and a 9yo son, telling me in a COOL CALM AND EXTREMELY COLLECTED THAT HE WANTED A DIVORCE!!! Everything she’s saying is exactly what he pulled and after 13yrs I HAD NO CLUE he was so sadistic and a narcissist!!!
Rebecca Zung I’m hooked on your channel advice and just wished I could have gotten this wonderful education before this past January!! But amen I’m still learning, big time!! Still getting blindsided by this jerk off!! Ty for ALLLLL that you post!!!
If he just told you about the divorce you are still in the middle of it unless you trusted him and signed a settlement before you had all the information. Good luck! Rebecca has two awesome books you should read. Never agree to anything unless you consult your attorney and get a good one!
@@lucawilliam876 anybody that’s dealing with a narcissist needs someone to talk to and guide them. They’re a different breed and they’re scary they’re so extremely calculated
TOTALLY I have to say that she is bang on. I am going through a divorce and pretty much all of this has happened .. and of course it all started nicely, until she realized she wouldn't get everything she wanted. Then she went off the rails. And because she is also BPD, she ended up with criminal charges which helped me quite a bit .
I have all of your material and I truly appreciate you. Mediation is finally June 9th after almost a year. Narcs delay tactics. Financial abuse. Bleeding me dry.
I have tried so many times to leave my husband, and I keep getting tripped up by his behaviors making me feel inadequate and helpless. Plus, I just get WEARY!
Been married 17 years with 4 children. I’ve pulled the “blinders” off over the last 2 years. I feel like I’ll never get away. He is a soul/spirit sucker. My family/friends tell me to get out, but it’s not that easy. 😕
Totally! 100% how you outlined it. My divorce from a 26 year marriage was in DV court with a 4 day trial Ordered by the Judge. Initial quote by my attorney $4000 and 6 months but by the time it ended, it took 3 1/2 years and cost $62K!!
Love your self and kids, first,leave ,B4 they become narcissistic themselves from the trauma,from watching it unfold before their eyes every day,it doesn't get better, I lived in it ,and lied,,made light of it,to myself,for32, years, finally grew some and left
Totally!!! This is spot on! I have been going through this for over a year and everything you say would happen has happened!! It should have been very easy our kids are no longer a custody issue. All we had to do was as you say, do things by the law and be done! Even better he’s constantly asking me do you wanna divorce or what? don’t you wanna get this over with? My question relates to how they get away with this in that they obviously have a lawyer willing to go along with it. I can understand why my to be ex would try to do some of this stuff but his lawyer is the one who put it in writing. Why????
Love your content, Rebecca. I know divorce is your specialty, hoping you'd consider expanding to narc fathers who turn against their adult children when the other parent (who kept the narc in line) dies. He's completely gone against mom's wishes and stolen essentially everything. Thank you for all you do!
@@RebeccaZungEsq Terrific! Looking forward to it! I've told friends and family about you - you've educated us all so much. I'm determined to learn the ways of the narc as to never fall victim again. Much light and strength to you, as well. Thank you for being a strong voice for us and showing us the way.
Married to the most evil person on the planet!I've been married to this monster for 38 years!Finally going through with divorce. I cant take the evilness any longer!I was raised to believe that deep down people are basically good!Narcissist are evil to the core!I have never hated another person so intensely as I hate my wife!She only takes.She never gives anything to anyone!These monsters have no soul!They are completely void of any human emotion and will take everything you love and care about from you and not bat an eye!She turned my adult children against me. And I haven't seen my beautiful grandchildren in months!
This is like the sad 28 years that is my life story 🥺 I m in divorce process.. but nothing done! I want to leave I m so tired but I don’t know if I can .. I have a 15 years old daughter who wants to come with me 🙏🏻
I’m fully convinced the ONLY reason this divorce is going smooth ish is because he cares more about not going into debt than me or our son. I really feel like that’s the only reason he’s cooperated with me - but emotionally and conversation wise it’s been really difficult and very confusing. I’m doing my best to keep all communication in written (text or email etc) and keeping my boundaries firm. It’s been really eye opening to see him spiral 🌀 so much with me not being his main supply anymore. I’m counting a mostly smooth filing process as lucky to me and moving forward.
Me too. I’ve been trying to get the courage up for three years now. Oddly enough at the same time I had made up in my mind that I was going to start a divorce strategy she oscillating between civility in full-blown narcissistic abuse there is no more nice wife at all.
How do you manage when they constantly use the law against you? Example, my narcissistic husband (didn't know he was at the time) was physically abusive towards me, he immediately snatched the house phone from me as well as my cell phone, locked it in his car, went next door to the neighbors and told them I hit him and used their phone to call the police and apply for an injunction against me. He then game me back my phone and I was able to cal te cops back. Because he called and lied to them that I was violent against him, I had to leave our home in the middle of the night with our then toddler son. It was horrible. I was confused as to why the cops believed his story over what truly occurred. He was physically abusive to me!
I am going now through the fight of my life, so difficult, so draining emotionally. They don't care about anyone besides themselves. These videos have been great tools to keep on fighting. ❤
Bought her book and see nothing about my case and I’m 2 months out and it’s all sunshine and roses about how we should value ourselves and I have done that self work. I need legal strategies.
"So while you as as reasonable person, think that you are working toward a goal of resolving the case, silly, their goal is to manipulate you and make you squirm as much as possible. You actually don't even have the same goals there." - SPOT ON.
I wish I had someone like you to council me. No one understood. He did every trick you’ve mentioned. Classic. Textbook. CEO covert. 27 years of marriage. He’s got the big family house and my son (golden child) Me and my daughters are about to be homeless. My attorney was lax. :(
This is my situation. Worried I will lose my son (golden child) who is an adult, forever. We are living in the same house with my son. We are are the pre-trail stage. Feeling like what was the purpose of trying to get away if I lost my son.
Sorta feeling like I should’ve just turned a blind eye to all the affairs and just keep the family together. But the kids knew. They were the ones that told me and that would be a poor example for my girls.
I explained to my attorney at least 900,000,000. Times I had Traumatic Brain Injury. I have severe psychological issues from his abuse. I sent her every letter from my doctors proving it. I explained the best way to communicate with me so I understood. That never happened. I lost control over my own divorce. Her assistant wasted no time to disrespect me, yelled at me, was patronized. I sent documented proof of what he was up to. All ignored. My attorney wouldn’t talk to me unless there was another person with me. She didn’t tell me about an important court date because I wasn’t with a third party. I missed the court date. I lost my support. I never get money that was mine in an escrow account. She filed a petition to be released as counsel. The pleading she sent me was to an address I hadn’t lived since October of last year. I told her he had hacked into my electronic devices and send me things to me in mail. That didn’t happen. I confronted her after I missed the court date and she told me I was mentally unstable. No I had TBI. I was getting anger because she was focusing on me while my soon to be ex was ruining me financially. I finally exploded. Being angry when your attorney is not doing her job. She failed to adjust to working with me as I asked. She left me without support with non of MY money. I was left with $1,600.00. My church paid my rent. The professionally upset needed to take responsibility of ruining my life. She left me where no attorney would take me on as a client. She was working for me but became a flying monkey for him. As a narc survivor I know that justice isn’t going to happen but not this way. Research. Research. Research your attorney. Be precise at what you want. My narc is a financial abuser. I was looking for another attorney for a month. I can’t afford another attorney now. I’m asking for a pro bono attorney. I know that while I don’t have an attorney he’s going to get worse. Make sure your attorney has lots of experience with narcs. Make sure your attorney is not just an attorney is also an advocate willing to be aggressive to hold him accountable for even a toe out of line. Make sure your attorney regularly keeps in contact with you. I know him and he abused me more than the attorney. It is a necessity that your attorney knows what games he plays and keeps using that information you give to your attorney to better represent you. Not all attorneys are knowledgable so stay on internet groups who can give you tips on to better handle things. If your attorney starts disrespecting you that’s a bad sign. Hiring an attorney is a financial transaction and you’re paying for their legal knowledge. They know the laws and procedures. You are still being victimized. Listening to your attorney’s legal advise and really listen. As a victim of narc abuse our goal is justice, that’s not going to happen. Work with your attorney with short and precise goals. Your attorney can do best when there isn’t a list of demands but an exit plan to end things. Support is a necessity. It keeps me calm. It keeps me in perspective. My support keeps me feeling strong and sets me into battle. They are also going to be character witnesses not flying monkeys. I feel stronger, safer, blessed, and grateful for my friends. My narc will do anything and everything to pull me off track. Stay focused. Have tunnel vision to just end this and move on. I have a lot of differently disabilities and looking for a job. I would much rather do that than beg for money. Focus on being divorced. This is what I have learned. It’s my story. If this helps anyone, great. If not please ignore this and find something that works for you. You know your situation better than anyone. It may not workout the way you planned but that’s life. Reminder; there is a case coming to the Supreme Court next session. The matter is allowing abusers and stalkers to still get a gun regardless. If you don’t want this to happen work with your state government to pass legislation now on this. If your state has this law than it can over ride what the Supreme Court decides.
Rebecca what you said is absolutely true. I did this in 1990"s. It took year to divorce him and a loti of money. My mother was an alleged narcissist and paid for his divorce against me. I was the scapegoat. I tried to get custody, but, flying monkeys and smear campaign started. I remember being in court and had to pick up my daughter because of a fire. He was arguing he wanted to pay $15.00 a month for child support. He turned my daughter against me. Rebecca I wish I knew about narcissism before my divorce. I would have done things differently. Thanks for your videos. Can you drop a link on how to contact you...
Totally ×100. This is them laughing and disrespecting justice system On top of it his lawyer is plaing dirty and along with him This like abuse on top of already existing abuse using justice system Unless like you said you have a lawyer that understands this pathology like you. Trust me you are one of the few in the entire Usa I only wish you took cases in Illinois Thank you for your dedication ! And sharing the knowledge
Totally Everything you have mentioned he has done. The sad thing is that he is using the court system and anything that seems accessible to manipulate the process or outcome. It's crazy how it's a nightmare to live with, leave and after leaving a narcissist. It's fight for your soul and life to forgive your past, accept your present, and change your future. Narcissists are the worst they think they own you and marrying them is signing into a life of slavery. I am glad that I am in the process of divorce.
Thank you for making this video. Didn't label his behavior as narcissistic until too late - but that key word is getting me spot-on recommendations. I have a great lawyer - thank God for you people! I will never make another lawyer joke again!
Totally, Totally, TOTALLY! Since January, I've changed accounts, passwords, have a new place to live, working on my credit etc. I've sent her a separation agreement already and she's trying to "find" reasons why to not agree. And we have kids...🙄🙄🙄😫😫😫
Totally! My sister says, how do you even deal with him without wanting to bang your head against the wall. I wish I knew about all this long ago. Our divorce just finalized in Aug. 2020 and I'm already taking him back to enforce 6 things it's nuts. Not to mention the game changing. Every time and I mean everytime I thought we had an agreement on something it would be less than 24hrs and he'd say no I didn't agree to that. I would say, it's a notorized document and he'd say, I'll just tell the judge I signed 3 different ones or it wasn't him at all. He had a girl living with him and my daughter 2 weeks after we moved out and having my daughter tell me it was the babysitter. But, telling me no one lived there with him as if I'd never find out. Even when it was right in his face he still denied it. So he tells the judge our daughter needs therapy. He never gets her in therapy, I do. But, he won't take her on the days she's with him. Here's one more thing I'll have to take him back to court on and I'm sure the judge will just slap his hand like the other 6 things. It's all a waste of energy and money with the judicial system. My poor daughter.
Totally! Not sure whats going to happen, I'm 63, unemployed since the beginning of covid. I'm scared of hw it will turn out. He keeps telling me it's his house which I know its not , it's 50/50.
Totally!!...I really wished i had seen this video before my divorce,i honestly didnt even think there was a name for such individuals. Thank you for this informative video! ill be sure to subscribe and like this video maam. I appreciate youre help ever so much. Thank you
What do you do if there's possibility of criminal framing , if you can't defend your innocence from things you don't have the know how to do or the knowledge of? I have been keeping track in journals however my journals have been torn out an taken from. The apt we live in, our food, our cleaning supplies, curtains, our belongings even. Its living torment an I can't seem to get help from anyone or anywhere. They all say they can't help me.
Totally I am trying to get and find what I need and how she has been doing this to me by talking bad fighting with me making me feel bad and telling family stuff about me I know but don’t know what and have me in there face knowing she has made me look so bad and I did not go to or be at one of my kid’s birthday party’s and it’s hard and how bad it has been for two years now she has come to find out she has been talking so bad about me behind my back
I don’t have a choice on negotiation. I signed a prenup without having an attorney to check over it because I didn’t have money to pay for one. He had money and didn’t offer to pay for it. Since he was insecure about me marrying him for his money I signed it believing that we were splitting marital property. Now I find out he gets everything and I get $800 in alimony for 5 years. He has said he will split the marital property and wants to use one lawyer to write it up. I’m not comfortable with it because i got screeed on the prenup. This time he offered to give me money for my own attorney to prove he isn’t going to screw me but I am afraid to take him up on the offer because I don’t want him yelling or screaming at me or trying to make me feel guilty.
I have brain damage and too much stress could kill me because of a physical disorder. I’m divorcing a narcissist of 34 years. I’ve been seriously I’ll. My brother committed suicide and mom just died. He’s jerking me around b/c of inheritance he got notice of and I didn’t. My attorney won’t stay on top of him and won’t talk to me b/c my brain damage can cause serious aggression. I keep telling them that it just causes conflict. I told the attorney all of this before retaining her but she failed at working with my brain damage (medical malpractice), she doesn’t understand that too much stress can kill me (almost already did) and she won’t stay on top of him. I can’t hire another b/c she charged my retainer on me trying to explain how to communicate with me. Cognitive problems too. Any suggestions?
A dear friend of the family is divorcing his narcissistic wife. He is a retired disabled Air Force Veteran, and she was a stay-at-home mom. During their 33 years of marriage, there were times when finances got tight that he suggested she get a job. She refused. Shortly after Christmas 2022, she went to see one of her grown children, called her husband and said she wasn't coming back until or unless he met her list of demands (all of which were impossible). She said the word "divorce" first, so he got himself an attorney and filed. We live in a state where the rule of law is fair and equitable distribution of assets, but she was determined to have it all plus half of his military pension, his disability and the house they just purchased. She even came over unannounced and took their dog before a settlement was signed and packed up 3/4 of the house and took it without his knowledge or agreement. While it's a no-fault state, to my knowledge he hasn't cheated on her, isn't a drunk or a drug addict and never once have the police been called on a domestic disturbance or abuse charge. I hope the judge gives her NOTHING!
EVERYTHING YOU SAID I WENT THROUGH WITH NARC FOR 6 AND A HALF YEARS TRYING TO GET A DIVORCE. FINALLY IT WAS OVER AND STILL NO DECREE, HE COOKING UP SOMETHING ELSE. I DON'T SEE WHY THE JUDGE KEEP GOING ON WITH HIM. HE CONVINCED THE JUDGE
