I remember my Mum saying we need to send money to my Khala her husband needs medicine. I told my Mum he should get free medicine. My Mum said no, it doesn't work in Kashmir. So we sent money anyway several years later. I visited Kashmir and quizzed my Aunty on the cost of medicine. She avoided answering the question. At the end of it, I found out the medicine was for free. We also sent money to build her a house. In June Khala and Mum had an argument. Khala claims my Mum was supposed to get one of my older Sisters Married to her son like 20 years difference. Also apparently we give them cheap shampoo and clothes and keep good stuff for ourselves. All lies and twisted. Moral of the story you can give these people the world and they still won't be happy. We did things for the sake of Allah. We haven't told anyone in the family we paid for the house or medicine and this is how they behave. Please be careful.
EVERY time I go to Pakistan, this happens. For some reason, taxi drivers, cleaners, etc want your number and then message you a few months later and start the sad story. Moral : DON'T give your number to anyone.
Great podcast - thanks so much for sharing. What you discussed, particularly regarding interactions with people, has really made me think twice about making Hijrah from the UK to Pakistan. The experiences you mentioned resonate with me, as I’ve encountered similar situations whenever I’ve visited Pakistan on holiday. To be honest, these instances have often left a bitter impression on both myself and my family. For example, I might have a lovely week exploring all the wonderful sights in Lahore with a hired car and driver, only for the whole experience to be soured at the end by the driver attempting to overcharge me or demand extra money for food and other things. My current thinking is that if I do move, Inshallah, I’ll need to manage without household staff, such as cooks, cleaners, and drivers, at least initially. I believe people from the West aren’t always sure how to navigate these relationships. Only after I’ve learnt how to manage things in Pakistan - which I think will take at least two to three years - will I consider employing help. I really believe anyone moving from the West should take this into account. I have several cousins in Pakistan, and I used to think they were overly harsh with the staff. I once confronted them about it, and they explained that they’re not harsh but firm and respectful. They said if they aren’t like this, the staff often push boundaries and take advantage. After handling things myself in Pakistan, I now fully understand their perspective. I always have a chuckle when I see British or American White RU-vidrs come to Pakistan and receive royal treatment - free food, help, and services. I can’t help but think, if they were Pakistani, they’d never get treated that way. There’s a real inferiority complex amongst Pakistanis living in Pakistan when they encounter “Goray” (Westerners)! If I do decide to relocate, I’d likely make 4-5 trips back to the UK each year. This brings me to something you didn’t mention, which is another reason I’m hesitant about moving - the airport, particularly Lahore Airport. I don’t think I’ve ever had a positive experience there, from queueing for a boarding pass to checking luggage and dealing with passport control. I’d love to hear about your experiences in this regard!
@@ahsana.t.6264 Goray in Pakistan is like A WoW for natives it’s a wow for us ex pats to see them as well you must remember Pakistan is not as multicultural as uk
The answer to the Airport is carry zero luggage. Carry a small duffle bag for papers and stuff (I dont even carry that - use pockets lol). Leave your clothes and rest of stuff where they are if you jumping between both countries... I promise you they will not even look at you.
Absolutely spot on people in Pakistan who ask to borrow money practically never pay back. Friendly people you don't know will ask for something sooner or later. Every time I go to Pakistan 🇵🇰 it's the usual suspects the cleaning staff or people who are driving you around. Will ask for help once you give they want more. I believe in giving but to the deserving blind Handicap ♿️ or widows with no family support. Etc I look around and try to see who I think is genuinely in need. Even then I get caught out. Giving is good but to worthy people. Not con artists. Great insights and excellent programme 👏 👌 You are both spot on. I used to be easy to swindle but age has taught me to be wary. The more you give the more they want.
I really enjoy this when you both give an input... Pakistan is a place where you cant get anything done if you don't pay... Its like you have to pay for their service even if they are the police... Its sad We payed 10 lakh to anti-corruption to do their job - we had to go higher than the DCO of police to get the ball rolling to get our land back, which our relation put on their name and sold on. The patwari, registrar, police (upto DCO & higher), solicitor, and anybody you can think of in that field (Land) work together to make money. They have zero morals and shame too.
OPC (overseas pakistani citizen) in UK stopped working since Imran Khan was ousted via coup. OPC was a lifeline for people in the UK who had land issues in Pakistan, and it was free. Not having OPC in past 2 years have cost us £10,000 GBP, and we have been fighting cases for past 7 years. I dread to think the costs if we had paid for 7 years instead of 2 years. Pakistani living in Pakistan have to also pay to get work done i.e. to take your land etc, but only good thing is you can out pay them most of the time.
@@DocumentingMoments Its not working for us bro. It never lets you past the login page. I tried VPN from Pakistan and USA but no luck. I think its because PAkistan put a new firewall on from China. Plus PAkistan Army & Government is against Overseas Pakistani they don't want to help us anymore - they know we mostly support Imran Khan.
the ladies washroom at the airport in Pakistan are the worst! Every time I go there's cleaners talking amongst themselves about a wedding they cant afford to pay for, and their acting is sooo.... BAD!
You are 100% right. Firm but fair is a good phrase to keep in mind here. I've been to Pakistan and always the same experience with beggars; they never work alone, it's like organised crime. You give to one and suddenly you're surrounded by a whole bunch of them and they'll follow you wherever you go. Also know of a relative who was in Pakistan for the funeral of his father and he later found out that his family in Pakistan were sending locals to his house whilst he was there to ask for money under the guise of paying their respects; in other words taking advantage of him while he was at a low point. They are ruthless and very sly. I gave generously to a house working couple last time i was there and when i returned to the UK they messaged me within a week asking for money claiming they're roof had collapsed; 2 months later they wanted money to get their daughter married. I don't even know how they got my number! Can't tar everyone with the same brush but you're right in saying this habit of scamming overseas Pakistanis is very prevalent there. We're seen as cash cows 🐄
On the subject of lawyers - never trust them.. get 2 or 3 if you must, that dont know each other i.e. different cities etc. and record every interaction to take them to court if they betray you. our first case was lost due to our lawyer selling out..
This is one of the best constructive vlog so far, i am like sister Myra, wear my heart on my sleeve. Really had a wake up call on how best way to give (and how not to).
Salam sir . The answer is that they know you are from London and money is falling out of your ears .😊 And they don’t know how you have Slaved for you earning in the uk . Nights , mornings, evenings !!
I'm also making the intention to move to Pakistan. I'm in the process of starting a company. Really appreciate the content. Barak'Allahu feekum for all the advice.
Nice one, keep it up.. In Pak you can literally become a £Millionaire as Pakistan is untapped in many areas in business and you have more knowledge etc.. 👍🙏
Wow, oh wow! Yes, yes and yes again! How to survive as an ex-pat in a third world country. Yes, indeed! Well done my friends, you have truly come up with a really important information Vlog for ex-pats to third world countries. I'm sure it's not just Pakistan but other countries where poverty, inequality, and illiteracy have made corruption and greed of everyone, including greed of poor people (I know that sounds like a contradiction), so rife. Your Vlog should be a lesson for all schoolchildren and for people thinking of moving back to their ancestral homelands. Well done! 👋👏👏👏 Changing lawyers is a brilliant tactic as that means that all the money that the other party has used to bride the lawyer is now wasted! Good one 👍😀
Poverty can make the strongest of men wilt and ask for money out of sheer desperation swallowing thier pride and asking for Money. It is really tough which mindset one should have when moving to Pakistan, its not like we don't want to help those in need who we can, but the con artists always get to us first, because the genuine ones will have to be extremely desperate to swallow thier pride and ask. By the time the Genuine ones ask us the con artists have left a very very bitter taste in our mouths that when any genuine person does ask for money we refuse them due to the bad experiences or give them not enough that helps them out of thier current financial strife.
Beggars: I don’t think this is a Pakistani problem, similar things happens in Bangladesh. I went to Umrah and those cleaners with green uniforms, even some of them were stretching their hands to me for money. I think our back home people, most of them are just greedy, it’s the mindset! Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear, if you really understand it then I swear you’ll see your life in a complete different 180* angle
There is an old saying... neither a lender nor a borrower be... I believe that if you can afford to help someone do so without expecting it back .. otherwise say no... lending money is a recipe for disaster
If you cant help anyone due to your own circumstances, that is ok, but there are many needy people in Pakistan.Most people living in the west, send their zakat charity to someone they personally know, or to institutes who have bank accounts in UK/Europe/North america, like Edhi Foundation or Shukat Khanum or SIUT, which you can trust.
Whatever happens in PK comes with the territory that's how it is, it is what it is. Looks like everyone's gonna use you as there advocate watch out lawyers 😅
Slmz bro ,our peeps really let side down. Sometimes. I went for UMRAH last month. Never left UK never been to pk before . The Apne don't spare you in Makkah or madina. always some story . I had someone ask me to pay for sisters wedding back home, another wanted cash for food even though he was holding two family meal bags at the time! Pls don't give to obvious beggars. They are stealing from genuine needy people who you can give to instead. Allah knows best you decide at the time.
Walaikumusalaam wa rahmatulahe wa barakatahu subhaanallah it's like they have established strategies to steal from the people who show extra love to them they do unfortunately see that as a weakness.
Forget outsiders who try to take advantage of you but your cousin's and ther children start taking advantage of, for example, asking you to come to the shops and then pretending to have left the purse at home...lol in essence my 3 years experience made me loose many relations as i saw what they were like and how they were taking advantage....They stopped contacting as they realised that i have stopped helping...
Brother don't fell bad to say no, most of people take you and overseas pakistani as easy target locals know how to get money out of pocket its called emotional blackmailing, just lern to say No to them who's ask money.
Salam Farhan and sister Myra, regular viewer and subscriber. I was born in Pakistan and lived in uk for most of my life. I tend to agree with most of your views but I think in one of the videos sister Myra said that “don’t feel worried about being taken advantage of in pakistan because it’s usually very small amounts” it was one of the wisest things I’ve heard from this channel because a lot of us in the west feel real anxiety of being taken advantage of. I feel in this video you guys have moved away from this concept. Paying few thousand rupees for an expat isn’t life changing for either party. It might genuinely help the other person, and that even if they aren’t desperate. You hit the nail on head that expenses have been going up but salaries haven’t and I feel that’s the biggest issue. I would urge all expats to think relaxed about giving people money. We’d spend thousands in Pakistan on a meal. I hope you don’t mind me saying this, it’s just an opinion and not a criticism. Keep up the good work.
So what are we doing now, creating a beggar state? Do expats have to pay taxes to locals all the time just to live there? It’s one thing given out of your own will but to constantly have people asking becomes like a tax, which you don’t want to do but have to do to stay peacefully! Islam does not encourage this way of life! It’s counter productive. Rather it’s better to tell people to ask the One who is Infinitely Rich. Maybe they’re losing out on millions which was written for them just cause they prefer to ask man than Allah Himself! This is laziness the Prophet ﷺ spoke about! We want it now, no consideration if what we want is good for us, no sabr, no taffahkur, look at how many blessings a person misses out on just by stretching his hand out to others. Yh so I don’t encourage this as it takes them away from the Deen. Our Deen is Rich but people chose to live in poverty. Poverty in its self is a disease, and for every disease there is a cure. How much do you want it??
It’s not so much about the giving as a expat living in Islamabad have experienced beggars in my area once you give them they latch on to you and then it becomes harassment. Sometimes you have to be firm and refuse. Have also experienced when we went out in carry daba we were less likely to be approached by beggars but when got a jeep it’s a different outcome 😮 it is difficult if only there was a welfare state here supporting its needy people 🤲🇵🇰
@shizak9623 a welfare system has its own downsides. And its only affordable for wealthy countries that plunder other countries. The best system is zakat which but u need a government to organize that.
I think it's less about the money and more about the approach towards it. It makes people uncomfortable. It's also about the principle of not wanting to be cheated or taken advantage of, or having people follow you until you give them something.
Interesting stuff. The one conspiracy which is the most sad (to me) is the several divorce one. I take from what was said that the parents were behind the divorces? So sad that a parent doesn't factor in the happiness of their own child into their equation. In all honesty, they are most likely not aware of the hurt they are causing their beloved child. May Allah SWT guide us and bring us together in Jannah where all enmity is erased. May Allah bless our parents, forgive their sins, have mercy on their souls and raise them to the highest levels of Jannah.
Could be a family member of the guy too, this happens a lot in divorces and stopping people getting married by going to girls houses and saying he's a druggy/womaniser and alcoholic.. Etc
Abu Mas’ud reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, among the words people obtained from the Prophets are this: If you feel no shame, do as you wish.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 3483 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Bukhari عَنْ أَبِي مَسْعُودٍ عُقْبَةَ قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ مِمَّا أَدْرَكَ النَّاسُ مِنْ كَلَامِ النُّبُوَّةِ إِذَا لَمْ تَسْتَحْيِ فَافْعَلْ مَا شِئْتَ 3483 صحيح البخاري كتاب أحاديث الأنبياء باب حديث الغار
Ur brave to have moved there apart from Islamabad Pakistan - is not safe no security, no laws, domestic violence has increased against women in Pakistan unfortunately, so that scares me! Until it settles Pakistan also good for visits only. I'm afraid as you have to be clever to survive their!
