Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi | E222 

Check out the psychologist Richard Schwartz. I think he’d really suit your audience.

Why was the release date for the episodes... Change from Monday to Tuesday? ... Thank you... Big fan 😉

Any chance of having translated subtitles of your podcasts, Steven? Looking for French or Italian. You and your guests need to be heard further than in English-speaking countries! Always so interesting x

P

Why you are contradicting yourself you say hit the like button and share and you say I hope no one is listening but if you are please don’t tell anyone. How can this be?!!!!!

That is soo inspiring thank you! ❤

@kombucha. that is a bizarre perspective to go through life with...

That was your cortisol going down

@@nabiaghulamali7585 Exactly. Unfortunately it's not always easy to fix that part.

What you resist persists! I agree with you completely! If you look at food as the enemy, it’s never going to align with your body and it’s always gonna work against you.

I love it….i’m with myself, not by myself.

I’ve always laughed when someone said, “I didn’t feel hungry on this plan!” Huh?,who eats because they’re hungry?😵‍💫😖

google rspk agent / energy vampires (you have to entertain and feed ... LITERALLY.

@@lauramitchell6725 I was only having this conversation with someone the other day nobody eats a block of chocolate because they’re starving this is what I struggled with she made a comment saying she wasn’t enjoying the food that’s when she she was addicted however me on the other hand I’ve been Jeep because I love the food. Definitely don’t eat because I’m hungry I eat because I enjoy the taste of food does this mean I’m not addicted? I’m actually more confused after watching this video.

@@VoidMaster560no no that’s just some peoples experience. I felt the same. I enjoy food that’s why I’m fat. I’m addicted. Just apply the bits that pertain to you. Everyone is different.

@@VoidMaster560ah, I just carried on watching and her next sentences are “it’s not like that for everyone” maybe you should watch it again

*YESSSSS!!!! It is so irritating when the host won’t allow their guests. who they brought on for listeners to hear their story, to speak without interrupting their thought process.*

Yes! He really does just breathe and let it unfold. The tone he sets makes it SO easy to reflect and integrate during the interview because you arenʻt having to manage any incessant distractions or surprises.

Robert Greene said the same thing to him that after being in hundreds of interviews he is one of the best.

I couldn't agree more. It's a lost skill. Too many hosts want to be the guest as well

I've gotten More from this little paragraph than I have this interview!!!

I have been able to lose significant amounts of weight three times in my life. All three times, I have only gotten my head into the space to succeed when I have gotten new clothes that allow me to feel good, spent money on grooming supplies, or in other ways have been kind to myself. I have given up wondering why this is so, but the concepts that Shahroo communicated ring true to me. Not having a “normal” metabolism, I do have to follow an eating plan in order to lose weight. But first, I have to get into a mindset where I am ready to do so. When I am not in that mindset, I cannot imagine myself getting there. When I am in it, I do not understand why it is always so hard to achieve. Being interested in plans for things I want to do is part of being successful. Wanting to do some things just for myself, that no one else will value, seems a part of the current version of the good mindset. I hope that I can hold on to this state this time. It may be my very last chance to do so.

I am being stupid. Why is it punishing?

​@@victoriamarfina9819 because you punishing yourself buy not treating you with a dress and by thinking you don't deserve it

I have been waiting to get a beautiful dress which was gifted by my would be mother-in-law stitched till I lost weight. Now I will go get it stitched this weekend and show her the result. She would love that. Thanks for sharing!

Love this idea bro! Well done 👏

How long did it take you to lose 100 pounds?

Awesomeness!!

@@mikerichter1694 didn’t he just say 90 days. Although that’s seem incredibly rapid. 90lbs should be lost over a year or so. Maybe a bit quicker, 36 weeks. 1-2 lbs a week ideally. Although the first 20lbs you should be able to get off quicker. Focus on your diet, calorie counting is important, I recommend intermittent fasting, don’t have your first meal until like 2-4pm and don’t eat after 10pm. 16 hours no food, 8 hour eating window. I’ve found that’s the easiest way to stick to the calorie restriction necessary to lose weight. As I found my hunger didn’t really get ravenous until I had my first small snack / meal of the day. Then I was hungry again shortly after within 1-2 hours, so if you are already eating at 8am, it’s hard to stick to a calorie restriction of 300-600 calories below your maintenance calories. Also, working out helps, although diet is 80% of weight loss, working out will increase your confidence and adding muscle will help your burn more calories daily just from your metabolism, and looking in the mirror seeing some slightly toned muscles coming in is a huge confidence boost! Also, black coffee is your friend for avoiding eating while intermittent fasting until you have that first meal at 2-4pm.

@@omgurheadsgone ... Yes, time restricted eating worked for me. I lost 65 pounds in 9 months.

Yes! I paused and wrote that down!! That doesn't usually happen 😊

Me too! this was an epiphany for me.

@@lyndareilly1983 00

​@@terrideniseAwa

Yes! Usually food was a substitute for some other need for me. You need to listen to what you actually need. Glad to hear you got out of that cycle.

@@BlackPenzo thanks, I am glad for you too, in my case I started to dealing with childhood issues, it seems I was keeping inside and carry them until I resolved them then weight started to melted, still I have some extra pounds but now I know I'll loose them with my diet: self love and caring. Finally I understand why diets with nutritionist never worked: overweight has to do with emotions not food.

Exactly.

Yes, that si the only way to improve.

ABSOLUTELY 💯

@@oopurpledove YES YES YES! 🎯

Yes, I have said this very thing to people over the past two years that I’ve been really struggling and it’s great to hear it here. Parts work seems to help some people with this, but not all of us, of course.

Right Kat?! It really touched me everything she said. I had various eating disorders and exactly what she talks about is what changed my life. These are conversations that truly help so many.

When Sharoo said that about 90s women - me! - hit hard! Such a toxic time especially as heroine chic became a thing!!! WTF!

Me too.. 🤗💞

When I was a junior in high school (90s), it was about trying to starve so you might look like Angelina Jolie. Thankful I have better advice for my girls.

I agree!! 👌🏻

You’re an amazing friend. I hope you know that. We need more people who uplift each other ❤

Very true - I once was told I would have the perfect body if I lost 10lbs. I never really paid much mind before that but to be delivered two polarities at the same time - I could have The PERFECT Body but I don’t because I have to lose 10lbs has driven me crazy for years … funny thing is the thought doesn’t change so when I would lose weight 10-20lbs the thought was still there I would have the perfect body if I lost 10lbs so it never ends

Sometimes u need an enemy to win. Good mother. Prob had enough of her shit.

Sometimes mothers are the worst enermies for women. Of course it depends on the person. But some mothers are jealous of their daughters's success.

My father told me he wouldn't pay for my college, as he was paying for my brother. So I bet him that if he paid for the preparatory course, I would pass the free uni. He told me "You won't pass, your brother didn't." I convinced him to pay for it anyway as he had nothing to lose. The day it was published in the paper that I passed and he gave me a hug - well, I was pissed. For the record, my brother was always a worse student than me. Everybody knew this, except my father, apparently.

That is a great example! Good job too! You took a moment to 'check in' with yourself as she says, and you decided to be kind to yourself. The thoughts are so automatic and even sometimes unconscious, it takes practice to spot them when they start.

FANTASTIC!! Thank you for sharing this ‘real life example’ of this amazing woman’s empowering message. I reckon, you’ve got this 👌💕

So true. I'm caught up in this now and have been all my life.

❤ I love this! Sometimes we need the “longer” messages because it’s usually somewhere in those that we can see ourselves. The relatability of the story makes the journey less lonesome. Thank you for sharing!

​@@TriAngleMassage Well said! 👏🏻

🤍

So interesting, see I have been really depressed in my life and had some level of OCD and obsession with healthy eating but I'm naturally skinny and if anything my advice for myself and how I've overcome my depression is the complete opposite. I eat once a day but I eat like a elephant, 12 egg yolks scrambled with buttered toast, 2 tins of sardines with coleslaw with buttered toast, chilli con carne with a whole tin of kidney beans and minced beef, a whole head of broccoli, cheese, yoghurt, and all the beneficial supplements. I eat all of that in about 90 minutes and don't eat again until the next day. And when it comes to exercise, it's to extreme failure, when the muscles literally fail to work. And for work I'm lugging about 25-50kg bags all day long, but I can noticeably feel the difference. I can quite literally feel the clouds part and the sun start to shine through. The long term view works for some, but if it takes hold of your life such that you are not living, you're better off just living, because those view extra years will be in vain

@@zentzu4003 yolks without the whites makes zero sense, why do u remove the whites? Also fyi, though cooked yolks taste nice, lightly cooking them is best, and raw is ideal, bcuz yolks contain a one of kind compound in the food world, which is seriously antiinflammatory, but only when not heated ever.

People tend to get their results and then paint them with their preferred justification. Studies show that it won't last. More than 95% of weight loss programs fail in the long run. That tiny minority starve themselves and exercise like it was their job. Simply not sustainable for most people. Strong metabolic processes come into play to get you back at your higher weight. I've lost 180 pounds. Kept it off for almost 10 years, and then it started to get all back.

@@18_rabbit yolks are more protien calorie and nutrient dense, it's alot of food to eat in 90 minutes, I literally dont have the stomach to add the whites in too, also trying to keep the protien a bit lower it's currently at about almost 200g which is too much I would rather 150g, but bear in mind I do this diet because I can eat it in 90 minutes, and it is food I genuinely enjoy, like these are my favourite foods, I could take them raw it's a good thought, that way I could eat them even faster but scrambled egg is so good taste wise, it's my favourite food, but I eat this food, knowing I hit every micronutrients and it gives me the mindset to be able to push myself knowing that I'm going to be okay because I am giving myself everything it needs, and something else to add this food is not very messy, I mean the washing up after is very minimal and once I've eaten that's it, I don't need to worry about eating for the rest of the day, so I would say within 2 hours I have cooked eaten cleaned up and I now have 14 hours to work go gym do whatever

So true and helps us all understand and appreciate that we are all human and must indeed, be kinder and as nice to ourselves as we need be to others..... ♥

So true! This interview RESONATES with me!

What were the concerns out of curiosity? I listened to one episode and found it difficult (as a nutritionist myself) that he didn't push back on some of the information.

I totally agree! Great interview with an inspirational, very unique guest!

@@sophiapower927 Has anyone found any photos of her before. Did she say she weighed nearly 277 pounds? 126 kilos? I've scoured the net, Ive not found anything but the close up face photo/

That was me. I didn't deserve anything until I was perfect. Especially enjoyment and self-care.

@@alexiswinter6948 same.

This is what Lizzo is saying as well. People misunderstand body positivity as everything goes. What Lizzo has said numerous times is "l deserve to love and be loved and to live my life, regardless of size. I don't need to shrink to go on a stage"

Absolutely! I was like WOW! This is me 😭

​@alexiswinter6948 same. My mum started fat shaming me when I was 14, I was skinny but I believed her and I developed an ED

Jin, jiyan, azadi🎉❤

Yes!! Back to you too for all the blessings to come to you and yours💜💜

Love the quote, and true, 'shoulds' lead to tension and naturalness leads to relaxation. I think its a valuable marker then to check in on your body and see which is it in, then you can trace it back to what 'should' or any other state of mind is causing it.

❤❤❤❤ this

Her??

@@tonymontana6550 Yes?

Has anyone found any photos of her before. Did she say she weighed nearly 277 pounds? 126 kilos? I've scoured the net, Ive not found anything but the close up face photo/

​@@rtrouthouse1506 dude drop it

​@rtrouthouse you are cracking me up. I got married at my heaviest. The only pic that exists is a CLOSE UP. Funny how we manage that?

❤

I did exactly the same thing. One of my few regrets in this life.

In this day and age you can be photo shopped into pictures.. lol Im just jking . I know what you mean about not being in any photos, to this day im still like that and the question is why?

Time is short. Start living.

I just now decided to not do that anymore. Or rather give myself permission to be in an occasional photo. Only because I wanted these photos with my son at this age.

So sorry you struggle in the opposite! Praying that we all simply GET HEALTHY in whatever way that looks like!

Sending you love and hugs.. please be kind to yourself ❤

Why are you extremely underweight?

💖

@@mariaelenabartesaghi6322 Why do you need to know this?

I’m deffo going to do this!

@@leeevans7722 🥳

I feel so sad. My eldest daughter struggles with her weight. I tried with what I knew back then. I have done all the WRONG things to help her. I am so sorry.😔

My mom was the same, and it would mean the world to me if she acknowledged the messages she sent me. You can still say to them now what you wish you knew then. If that would feel good for you and them.

@@davisholman8149you need to have that conversation with her, if you haven’t.

I totally agree with you. What an amazing woman. What a story!

So agree, it was light and simple and I felt like a peer rather than head so far back because they are way way up there and I’m down here and need to find a way to ‘improve myself’ yet through this particular experience I felt I was sitting next to this very talented woman and involved in the conversation, thank you x

Cringe

Totally agree

What did she say specifically that you enjoyed? The part about not dieting has been known for years. She really only said, "Take responsibilkty". I think I must have watched a different podcast than you did.

Thanks for listening Michael 🙏🏽

❤

You are right, that.s a lot of life to put a hold on. Let.s start, today?

I’m just at the beginning of that journey. For me my bad behaviors are responses to something traumatic that happened in my childhood that I never healed from. The trauma was at the hands of family members so I’d eat at family functions because of the stress of forced interaction. By eating I didn’t have to interact as much. There is a lot of shame I’ve had as a result as saying something would rock the boat cause a scene and increase trauma exponentially. Realizing now that eating habit was a result of trauma and having a conversation with my mom about all of it openly removed all the shame. I’m not eating my feelings now

Sorry…Hope you find some peace…You deserve peace and healing and compassion❤

Omg it's none of her business what you weigh. I'm pissed for you since u don't want to stick up for yourself . That's your body, not hers. That's a big boundary red flag. 😳 you need to stick up for yourself asap.

Sweetheart THANKYOU Xx exactly the same for me too. I ran away to London and on seeing my mother once again after 6 months away the very first thing out of her mouth was "how is your weight??" Toxic, toxic stupid cow! I am 62 now, she 86.......she is shrivelled thru dieting, a wrinkled mess and yet I STILL think she feels superior. I feel no love for her only pity............I remember once, my husband had been terribly ill and I was breastfeeding longterm simply because we could not AFFORD SMA for our son. I became very slim, for the first time in my life, but I was ill, malnourished and living on tinned peas. My mother "tipped up" to gloat in my despair and said alarmed "Oh my God, you're slimmer than me!!!!"...........The problem is theirs Judith, we in turn will hopefully be much better mothers Xx

@@gigid9606 I know from the outside looking in it is very easy to say your above suggestion. However, I would be disrespectful in my parent's house because this would come from love. When neighbor kids and school bullies are belligerent, what do you expect when you are fat. This stuff really sinks in as you grow up. Are all my female relatives thin? With the exception of my sister, the answer is no. I coped by not talking to my mother or my sister very often and I moved 3000 miles away.

You do not deserve to be treated like that. Commenting on other people’s weight does *not* come from a place of love, but ignorance. It might be their house, but it is *your* body temple.

@@judithcoloma613 Yay ! You go girl! I admire you, 3000 miles should do it. They do not deserve you in their lives, let them tear oneanother apart in your absence Xx

This is really interesting. Having had a narcissist father who was aggressive I used my weight to keep myself just unattractive enough to not attract attention. I lost weight unintentionally when I met a man who was kind and didn’t criticise me. It was like my subconscious decided men were no longer a threat and I didn’t need the weight to keep them away.

@@jemmajames6719 Hugs to you Jemma!

​@@jemmajames6719 I hear you ❤️

I never really made the connection between abusive home and weight issues as an adult. That's a great point and definitely something to think about.

​@@jemmajames6719what would you tell your best friend? Do that. Don't expect it to be easy or quick but I bet your future self will thank you.

♥

@@Balletified She was talking about people asking how they can be simultaneously firm and kind with themselves because they feel like kindness can bring them to give in the bad habit/ addiction vs firmness might work for a lil while but has its limit and burn out too. Then she says the most important part is the conversation you have with yourself and to think of it like a parent discovering that a treat they always give their kid at 10 am is actually toxic so they have to stop giving it. How would you expect the kid to react and what would be your reaction? You'd expect him/her to kick out, rebel, cry, plead and you'd welcome it with compassion cause yes it would feel hard and unfair and surprising but also you would stay firm and hold on for the well-being of your kid :) And you would repeat this process with kindness, compassion and firmness together until it feels easier to the kid and like it's actually nothing to be without the treat. VS yelling at the kid to hold it together or being overwhelm by their reaction and giving them a toxic treat again!

@@Balletified it's at 33:04!

Go buy yourself a dress darling you deserve it x

@angelwilliams3088 your message resonated so deeply with me. Especially the avoidance of family and friends because of how embarrassed I am about how I look and how fat I got. I hope you are feeling better. ❤❤❤

I haven't heard anything but ideological garbage and obscurantism. This "love yourself and all problems will be solved" thing is not just ludicrous, it is scientifically proven wrong. It is just startling to me that this video would be called "Behaviour Change Scientist". There is nothing of scientific in it.

@@ernestoberger7589 when I read this my stomach flipped and thought duck ohhhh nooo this method is another one that doesn’t work and almost fed into your idea, but I became instantly aware from feeling motivated after the podcast I started to feel low, and stopped myself right there, and instead felt compassion for my self dipping in self love/motivation and then towards your anger (which I’m not denying your right too to feel that way) because it felt displaced, maybe there was a trigger for you? And secondly I was sad for you that not only do you not love yourself, but that you do not want too… and then going even further than that, it is desperately sad that you do not want your humankind to not love themselves. So my genuine thought and time listening and validating your voice is, have you been able to see in our world today that a majority of our species do not love ourselves and would you say it is working? And let’s just say for one moment, as cross and uncomfortable/triggering for you, it will be; how do you see our world if we do take the scientific and human advice presented to us today and humankind did love themselves? you were both drawn to watch it, I have a sense you watched all, why is that? These are not questions for myself as I’ve explored many many routes to avoid loving myself or tried shortcuts to loving myself, and I can categorically say, the effects were utterly utterly devastating and I’m lucky to be here to have this conversation with you today, and here’s the thing, in that process of cruel self talk and serious self harm not loving myself, it is also the harmful ripple effect that it created, now multiply that be so and so across the world? I hope you find my reply in good faith, but more importantly, I hope you are able to love yourself I really do or at least reflect on your current situation with curiosity ❤

@@Peacewithin807 Are u high? Really? Research has shown that self-concept does not correlate with performance or results. So yes, Scams and intellectual dishonesty is a trigger for me. Especially when people claim that you just have to feel good and all the weight will come right off. It is just garbage. She clearly mentions the 90s as a tough era for women. Bullshit. Back then, a host of myths were spilled by the feminist movement. Particularly those myths related to eating disorders saying they were caused by beauty culture, which any serious psychiatrist will say that is big fat lie. Do you want to believe in this nonsense? Well, go right ahead. But just don't come with all this patronising and moralizing crap that you feel sorry for people who don't love themselves, assuming that I don't. Do you know who score the highest in self-love measuring psychology tests? Psychopaths. Maybe you are just one of them. I don't know. What all this nonsense you've written has nothing to do with me, it just you wanting to selfishly feel good about yourself, period. You make those wild claims that I don't love and I don't want to love so when I do give you a deserved response take it as evidence of your lies. In fact, you are just moralizing self-love, using it - as the old Pharisees - to throw rocks at people to make you look good while virtue signaling on the internet. You should seek professional help.

Almost every episode on this show is raw honest conversation

@@ernestoberger7589 she is medical qualified and has built her advice from working with real life patients for years. Isn’t that evidence ? I didn’t hear her say that all you had to do was love yourself and voila !! What I heard is that bad eating habits and addictions are a symptom of a problem and gavinv compassionate understanding of your motivations helps you make the right food choices and for it to feel GREAT vs a punishment ?? I am curious that you heard something so different ?

Videos only uploaded. You gotta give RU-vid a little time to generate them

Closed captions working for me 👍🏼

Trust me, it doesn’t matter what kind of food you binge on. You can binge on healthy foods too, and still get fat (like me), if you eat 3-4 times your daily calories allowance (like me). On the other hand, skinny people often eat utter rubbish and they never get fat, like my sister-in-law, who can eat mainly carbs in their unhealthiest form, eat at night, not exercise, not walk or even move too often, and still remain 46kg 😡🫤.

I think it’s a helpful episode too. I’m sure you can get there. You can try some of the techniques she talks about. Treating yourself like a friend. Asking what the binging might be doing for you (what problem is it solving). I used to binge eat and be 90lbs overweight. It can take a long time to understand the root cause of why we do things. Realising finally that I’m using food to help myself zone out when feeling stressed or overwhelmed was a game changer. It’s never easy. But over time, step by step, you can get to where you want to be. 💪

@@alamedadanceparty thank you for this beautiful and encouraging reply. I appreciate it a lot. Yes I can tell you now, I am already using her techniques. I have just come back from a 2 nights hospital stay due to my 10 month old daughter being admitted there. I knew that the danger would be that I would use chips and sweet to self soothe me through that but I just refused to turn to junk food for that and I have succeeded. My favorite take out from this lady is that we must do the hard/challenging thing a couple of times in a row until it becomes easier. For me the tough thing is how I used to have no impulse control when it comes to managing cravings. So at the hospital I just sat with my feelings until I didn't use junk food to cope with them.

@@alamedadanceparty I have an obese friend, she gets extremely angry and sulky if you even touch this subject. I’m obese too, not morbidly though, and have a lot of optimistic encouragement in the gym - “you can do it” etc. But I loved food since my early childhood, now I’m more conscious of “healthy food” so I’m addicted to healthy food and overeat. The only hope left is bariatric surgery or drugs.

@@khanyisagura4377 yes, it's really difficult to sit with negative emotions when we are used to using food to self soothe. I can 100% relate. You should be proud that you were able to sit with the negative stuff and not try to "zone out" using food. It's only a temporary relief from the stress. I agree, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. This episode is surely one to rewatch because of so many nuggets of wisdom inside. I wish you good health and self love.

Her book is amazing, another one which helped me with intrusive thoughts was wisdom of anxiety by sheryl paul, she also has an instagram which is really helpful!

I bought her book a few years ago, it’s definitely worth a read!

@@sarahRA86 thank you I appreciate it xx

@@Swann88 thank you. I will check that out. I appreciate it 😊

Crying because.....deep down we know this is all true. Time to parent myself as an adult.😊

I lost 10 kg on a modified Keto diet. I do not have loads of fat and I am vegetarian. I get my protein from eggs, dairy and legumes. Think of food as nutrition. I prepare my own meals and have had exactly the same food for breakfast lunch and dinner for over 7 years. I have managed to keep off the weight. After a fortnight's holiday, where I had no choice of food, my HbA1c was at 6.5 . That was my wake up call. I went on an extremely low Carb diet. Now my HbA1c is 5.7, I am terrified of becoming diabetic.

I would like to add that I am 76 and have had osteoarthritis of the knees for 16 years and hypothyroid for 25 years.

100% got chapter 18 out of the army and the shame had me gaining even more weight. I stress are my way out, so her comment about putting space between the trigger and the reaction REALLY hit. I was 130 when I first went in, before binge eating took over. Time to put that space in and stop guilting myself now.

How is it going ?

@@anastasiyat5913 Haven't missed a day since I started Mar 26. Today is Apr 30 and I am walking 20 k steps now, on my treadmill, which takes me 3 hrs and 20 min at 3.5 mph.

So very happy you have found a way to cherish yourself!!!

Gilmore Girls was so ridiculous, how they promoted a diet of coffee, pop tarts, burger, fries, pizza and candy and showed these skinny girls eating like that. What a big fat lie. And watching it again, you realize how horrible those women were. Just terrible people!

Dont beat yourself up over that deae.. Be kind to yourself..Do small change step by step. Dont over expect big change. Every body got their own shortcomings either obvious or hidden. Everyone has a battle to fight.mAs long as you try take care of yourself and appreciate life and the effort, thats what matters..All the best 🙏❤️

Thank you for saying this, I agree 100% as an older Millennial.