Being childfree by choice: five women on why they decided not to have kids 

What if their moms didn't have them lol? Guardian make a part 2 of this series maybe like 30 years down the line and we'll see.

The Guardian this is not accurate as people are not honest and you just want to make it sound so ok and normal there’s a lot more going on in a woman’s mind that’s decided I don’t want kids. But comes home to several cats and teddy bears.

The more childfree people of all ages share their experiences, the more the myths surrounding the childfree lifestyle will dispel. There are those who don’t want to believe or hear anything a childfree person has to say, but for any who are curious, there is a vibrant community.

@@paulgibbons2320 yeah , and that s what all co v i d 19 is about!!!

Please pose this same question to men. Would love to see that b/c it's not a unique issue to women (maybe a few different nuances of course) but same endpoint...no kids. Thanks. If you already have, please post that video.

@@jamesedwards366 you sound really happy yourself and not at all judgemental. It's probably all those kids you had.

James Gillings typically ‘Karens’ are stay at home mothers and housewives of a certain generation that feel so bitter about not having their own career because they spent most of their lives cleaning up after their kids that they take their issues out on strangers and act as a ‘Karen’ as a cry for attention. Having kids does not guarantee that you won’t be lonely- your kids may not be in your life if they choose so. Grow up.

Ellen W I think a lot of the people have trouble understanding that their opinions and feelings aren’t universal facts for everyone.

Yeah but you have never carried a child I’m guessing soooo you’ll never understand. It’s worth it.

James Gillings I agree.

True a lot of people do it out of being selfish. Lack of control or responsibility AND some actually do it because they look at kids as accessories.

People are not educated enough to even think of that

amen

Str8 fax

Yeah true

Yokubō amen 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

I have 2 fur babies.

i think every child should have a parent but not every person should be a parent will be more suitable. Cause there are parents who no longer have a child

FACTS!!!

To be a parent means u have a child-

It’s also refreshing to know there’s men out there who don’t. So ditto dude

I never thought there are men who don't wanna have kids . Thank you for existing dude❤

​@@_Reize_Way more men don't want kids than you could ever imagine. I would say around 30% in America whilst worldwide it might be 15%.

​@@_Reize_67% of men are childless compared to females-34%

I’m the same. A man who doesn’t want kids. In fact, I just realized that I just surpassed the age my dad was when I was born. Best ya there, dad! 😎

This mindset is the main problem. Nobody seems to think from the perspective of the child, only themselves and how they are benefitted by having a baby.

@@member968 the child doesn't exist yet so why does it matter?

@@member968 Judging on how the world is, right now, how would it benefit a child to be born?

Jason Martin the problem that many people overlook is that a child isn’t there before conception. So before conception, only the parents are there to be benefitted. So fundamentally a child cannot benefit from being born, regardless of the state of the world.

There are consequences ...... I would agree with you if those consequences didn't affect me

Heck, depending on the motivation, the act of bringing a child to the world *is* selfish.

how is it selfish

@@kiwi.1243 a child does not ask to be brought into the world, it is a decision made by the parents' based on a want. They *want* to pass on their genes, they *want* to raise a new human being, they *want* to conform to societal norms, etc. The child, of course, has no say in this decision.

Yeah, that's something I definitely agree wholeheartedly. I never wished to be born and yet here I am writing this comment. 😆

@@kaptenlemper very true. Not to mention the issues such as overpopulation, etc.

True and there’s no guarantee that they will be there for you when your old.

Very true

🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾this

Or as your caregiver in your senior years. I’ve been asked sssoooo many times.... “well who’s going to take care is your when your old?” I’m like- yeah that’s a terrible reason to have kids. Save up for your senior care.... it’s selfish to expect your children to be your caregivers and do nothing to plan for your own care.

That's exactly what happened to me!

Respect to your mom👍 I wish mine was like yours

What a terrible mom, she basically didnt want you in her life…. If she could stuff you back in, she would💀

@@fjordbear3050 She didn't want him but still loved him enough if she didn't want him to repeat her mistakes

She lied to you

3.9333333333333333333333333333333

Don't think it's selfish - all that work, stress and worry

@@yingyang1008 Is irrelevant because people still constantly have children for selfish reasons.

@@cassandra9581 How is it selfish to want a family? It's what the vast majority of humans want to do and is very hard work, you literally give your life to a other out of love

@@yingyang1008 I didn't say it was selfish to want a family... I said people still have children for selfish reasons, I didn't say everyone does.

exactlyyyyy

The real tragedy is that our society makes children look like objects, we all have been kids once and having to see that an innocent creature is deemed as a tragedy is absolutely bad to say.

Keystone_XONE I think what the person is trying to say is that there I many people in the world that are having kids but don’t care to take the responsibility of having one, and then the kid ends up not having the proper care. It’s not the child itself that’s the tragedy, but’s it’s the suffering the kids has to go through when being taken care of by irresponsible people/parents that are having kids when they shouldn’t be that’s the tragedy

LaVeNdEr LoVeR thank you! Children are not the Problem, but people who procreate are.

i don't mind, kids are beautiful.

I love how we are discussing this on a deep level before I think people didnt think about it but now because of social media we can be honest

You’re a smart lady, I bet you’re so much happier. I’m following your footsteps and I’m 20!

@@shridhark6819 what? 😐

@@asheru9254 I'm 37. Married 19 years. One cat. Two dogs. No kids. Since you're wanting to compare animals here. I seen a kid take a dump on the living room floor. Having kids and animals is messy. There's no difference. Animals are easier to care for than a human.

@Ooki Cooki Ok buddy.

Why do you look like someone I know

Omgg its so cool to see someone older than me who doesn't have kids cause people always tell me "i'm too young to know that" or "i'll obviously change my mind when i'm older" which sucks hearing

@@ash.whothatGET OFF MY PROPERTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

63 no kids, no regrets

@@Hibiscus123 Kells and windmills and Shay Mccay dark wood cabinets above where there's oil and grease on the high school chemistry lab table leading to lots some complaints from classmates about that all in the different room across the hall you go in and sit down one day. Next, trip to Andover for music competition in 2 days but then when you're on the bus and when it's a bit dark at six in the morning to go there, and hear the noise while going fast, it reminds you of compounds of the oil and orangish red grease from food

@@Hibiscus123 Would you consider leaving on a red cloth regular table lamp in the bedroom and a tubular vintage oval bulb desk lamp in the office, and seeing which type of bulb burns out first after a while, "doing an experiment" ?

I loved that !!! Just because we have place for caring a child in our bodies doesn't mean we are born to be incubators !

@Benghali In Platforms We are born to be so many things, from artists to scientists. I'm sorry but almost all mothers I know are misarable, on pills and some openly say they regret having children. We are not animals and civilization was build on us rejecting our biological "destiny".

Yeah. I had a boyfriend who wanted me to have his babies. I abandoned him because he was cheating me. He never loved me.

@Benghali In Platforms well, in a biological sense we born to reproduce the specie, but not at all because we have other kind of mental development compared with other animals. We are the major plague in the world, this place doesn't need more humans, the world needs to be repaired. And we aren't baby incubators, due to our mental development, a human has the capability to create and explore other kind of things. Well, being a millennial mentally is not bad, this generation is more conscientious about world.

@Benghali In Platforms I'll happily be a wine aunt then. Lol

Right, even though I'm kind of in between on whether or not I want kids. At 21 years old, I'm already mostly in the position and decision of not wanting kids at all.

Would you adopt a baby like Moses?

Plus it's not like the human race will go extinct anytime soon.

lolcano234 i think that anyone over the age of 18 is fully capable of making their own decisions:)

lolcano234 again, i said over the age of 18, not 18 specifically ;)

as someone who has felt resent i’m scared of making someone else feel that way

You ran into it? Did it hurt? I hope your okay

Same. I really needed this

Same! Most of the comments were super supportive on here too which is nice.

@@trashnamedalana7524 Life is always going to be scary no matter what. Stick by your choices and forget about resentment, there is no way to avoid it sometimes and you are not responsible if they feel that way and don't need to sacrifice your happiness to avoid selfish resentment.

i think they forget about the women who want kids and can’t conceive too. we’re all REAL women 💕💕

That is NOT a friend.

That is society marginalizing women. Quite like a real man will do XYZ.

​@@SarahizahhsumThey said they heard someone say it to their friend.

I am considering being child free. I do believe becoming a mother unleashes something new naturally. But I don't see myself as disadvantaged if I choose to be child free.

You go girl, I respect that

Me too I'm 48 no kids I'm v pleased I never had one

Sammy d that was really rude and unnecessary for you say hun

@@sammyd3577 If you cannot communicate without throwing insults and using mean words, you're a bully.

@@sammyd3577 you don't have a wife, let alone a girlfriend, do you ?

Yeah like go and make some friends, lol. There is 0 guarantee that kid will even like you, let alone be there and support you in old age.

@@mrjoe9545 selfish like few other things and nobody guarantees you the kid will look after you.

No way!

Having a child to save a marriage is even worse

THIS IS A WHOLE TOPIC THAT NEEDS TO BE DISCUSSED!!!!!!

THIS

Right. Not to mention if they saved their money instead of having kids they don't have to worry about being taken care of when they're old.

@@Vivian-oq5wz Oh yes. I've seen it too.

Exactly 👏

My grandma is at her 80's we don't even take care of her she just lives

Say it louder for the people in the back. Some people just should not have kids.

I guess people automatically forget that there are orphans and children in foster care. They just conveniently forget about abusive parents or children growing up in poverty. The wilful ignorance is a bit disgusting, quite frankly.

TRUE. Lots of irresponsible parents out there

Children are destructive forces of chaos that makes life harder... but I still want one.

My hubby wants kids (we are 25 and 27) but as much as I love him, he is not ready. We fight over splitting bills or that he has a lot of savings and I have not and I think he does not see how a baby is very expensive and involves a lot of financial decisions. I also feel like I am not ready for kids at all. I want to travel the world and a child would ruin my plans. Covid made it even worse as I have a bucket list I want to do before even considering kids and I already am way behind and now travelling has been impossible for almost a year and it does not get better.

@James one of the women in the video literally just responded to your question.

You’re absolutely right.

@James l am 40 and l am still awating to change my mind ...

My mother gave me away at 5. She should have just aborted me -only terrible things happened after that

l3l3Cakes sorry you didn’t have a great experience. Sending you virtual hugs x

Yeah, most people see kids as babies, and then complain when they discover that their children are not an extension of themselves and can’t govern their life .OH, and the best , they shame people that don’t want kids for not choosing the same ..it is a validation of choices I think

A lot of people unfortunately want a project, protégé, mini-me. but it just doesnt go that way.

Exactly they're raising another person to compete in the rat race , defo ending my blood line , might adopt cause I believe kids in orphanages want a family or a proper house

@@lotuswolf1518 Same, my bloodline is a failure anyway.

Yeah. They’re not a mini you. They’re different people.

41 childfree man here. All the best. We’re making the right choice for ourselves. 😎🍻

@@LucareonVee how much of a failure you gotta be to not be able to find a breeding partner, and then coping so hard in comments about it...

arnt we made to reproduce by nature why you need to be different ?i swear you will be old and when you close to dieng you would wish you have made a little clone off yourself so you will life even when dead trew your kids its NATURE i dont know but i bet you will feel verry bad now life is all fun but wait for that moment if i was you i would make i child because nature said sooo :@

@@LucareonVee all i hear is for ourself ??? wish your mom did the same so you also had no choice because you wouldnt exist but your mom did what she had to do from nature and gave you life and you to lazy to do the same jeez

👏👏

No Cap

Facts!!

Yes, Tony! I agree.

Yes

YOU cannot force peple to not have kids geez

I'm more and more respectful of that choice now, especially if a primary driver for people is the improvement of the current state of the world.

Yea let's all have fun in this beautiful western civilization. Children? Who needs that problems!

F*** yeah! I agree.

Soooooo it's a selfish decision...?

I really wish it would be that easy...It would be if you would live in a jungle or a desert , but unfortunately we live in a judgemental society.

YEAH

Explain to me how the world is overpopulated?

Even if the world wasn’t overpopulated though it’s still the woman’s choice and absolute madness that it needs to be justified

Fall7Standup8 Chosen The world is overpopulated relatively to the ressources that we have left. There are too many people for not enough food, water etc. Mainly because of the overconsumption in industrialized countries and overuse of natural ressources for profit. Scientists predict that sooner or later, even in the richest parts of the world, there won’t be enough food and water for everybody. Some even say that the future generations will never know what it’s like eating some of the things we eat today like fish for example.

@@Darksecret_23 You're in this comment section, so you obviously have access to the internet. Go do your due diligence and look it up for your self.

Vaccine is to 20th booster As Being maskless and unvaccinated is to catching co... .. Wait what??? You tricked me!!!!

Nothing says selfless like demanding that others have unwanted children against their will to make the accuser feel better about their own choices!

@@gleelights9525 I'm trans. I want to nurse Justin Bieber's babies.

Who are you talking to? I’m a young mom and have only ever been called selfish 😂 no matter what you can’t win

You're life!

T Martin thank you!

This comment

👍👍👍

TF is dat name doh dag

Exactly. Thank you.

This. All over.

You actually wouldn't know that because its impossible to experience both in one lifetime

NamesIWantAreInvalid they are not saying it because of the actual feeling, they are referring to the fact that regretting having children actually affects your child, in ways that can be very damaging. if you regret not having children, it would be a terrible feeling but it wouldn’t affect another human being for the rest of their lives. plus, if you change your mind about kids, you could always adopt, but if you children you can never undo that.

NamesIWantAreInvalid yeah you could regret not having kids at a certain point and then eventually have kids and regret it

Yes they are, if a child cost 500k each then it’s going to be in my investments portfolio or it’s a failure of a investment

@Oat Meal you won't get that love, affection , unconditional instincts etc

@saket adarsh you get to sleep, you're not at risk of having any complications/don't have to deal with the problems of being pregnant, you have more money, you will have more time for your friends and/or partner who will also give you love, you don't have to worry about being a bad parent and raising/teaching the kid, it won't be loud all the time, ...

Children literally pay into the older generation's social security

@@mo.ka.9661 And that shouldn't be your only reason to have a child, they're humans.

I have a great respect for anyone who puts on the uniform with pride and honor for their country.

"My legacy? Their freedom... that is my legacy as a veteran. Try calling a veteran selfish" Females are out of harms way.

"I opted for serving my country in the military rather than motherhood." You would have been more useful as a mother of 2+ children. Without an adequate birthrate, there is nothing to protect

@@GK-op4oc are you like actually fcking slow?

@@GK-op4oc With over 8 billion people on the planet, there won’t be any life at all. Not having children at this time is more important.

Misery loves company. 🤷‍♂️

@Frank T , read the comments.

They feel like it's a personal attack on their choice to have kids, even though child free people don't care.

Yes it does, your legacy go's to the shiter.

@@gta4haterhq , legacy means nothing

Yes! They feel threatened because they did not have a choice or it goes against their beliefs.

YES! YES! YES! YES! You’re absolutely correct! There are women who hate seeing another woman progress in life because she didn’t have that opportunity to be her best in life so these type of women go around sabotaging and insulting other women whose life is different than hers. It’s internal misogyny.

This!!!

Or even women who don’t get married, there’s women with manchildren who make fun of single women

@@God.sDaughter The mad ramblings of a scared feminist.

Sometimes women or girls don't have a choice. . sadly. .

@Daniel Rumbacher then go make 5 kids and have fun with your new mega hectic life

Daniel Rumbacher then go have 8 and deal with 8 wardrobes, 8+ mouths to feed, 8 mfs to get ready for school, 8 mf cars, 8 mf college tuitions like bye😂😂

True I agree.. But does your wife really feel that way? I know when I was younger I didn't want children but the moment I got with my husband I knew I wanted children with him.

@@memyselfandimom Because you want children, they don't. Children are not the most important part of someone's relationship. One can have an amazing and fulfilling relationship without a need for kids. Having children drains you mentally, physically and financially. It is a decision you consciously make, you don't rush to it. And some people don't think that is important and that is totally okay.

They just want control over us. Men still barely help out with the kids if they don’t completely abandon thier family completely and then try to shame women who refuse to make the sacrifices they never make either.

@@danidiaz2377It’s not “helping out with the kids” it’s doing his part as a father, helping implies it’s not something he has to do.

Hey come on I'm a man and I don't want kids either, I respect and support all women who choose not to have kids, and both men and women shouldn't be pressured into having kids by their partners.

​There are PLENTY of men saying it too.@@Prometheus7272

@@danidiaz2377oh brother

When facing an ageing population this message is irresponsible

@@PointNemo9 The Earth is overpopulated. Bringing more children into the world is what's irresponsible.

Yeah, ask those young women when they are in their 60s. You may hear very different story.

@@jasonvolta3657 They are generally still very happy with their decision. Childfree isn't that new of a concept. There are women in their 60s and older who are perfectly happy with their choice. You don't need to have children to be happy.

@@PointNemo9 its irresponsible to bring children into world just so they could lower the median age of population.

Natasel wow. People have no problem asking straight out “do you have kids”, ‘why not”. Because it’s none of their business to ask why not.

Ugh...tell me about it. Also, I have noticed women that have kids are taken more seriously in a social gathering, their opinions are respected more, even if they are way younger n inexperienced.

You literally don’t. ‘Cause I don’t anymore. I just leave people hanging. 🤣

adoption should be encouraged from different races, this way racism and world population crisis both will be checked.

Pauline Malone you don’t 🤷🏼‍♀️that’s a choice too!

I taught for ten years and this is soooo true 😤 bless your parents hard work

Absolutely agree 💯

Only white people do that lol.

Wdym “secure a wallet”?

Windflower Rainstorm Thank you ❤️

Oml my mom says the exact same thing drives me crazy

My mom has 4 kids and none of us want kids just cause they made us feel like a burden all our lives

Me. Daily.

I’ve actually had this said to me before 🤦🏽‍♀️

Yep ... I am like really .I say to be prepared to a have kid that is completely opposite what you want out a kid.

That is so well put!!!

100%! You may feel like how your life would be like if you did have kids, but the ultimate outcome is so much better.

Facts 💯

Deffo great perspective and never saw it like that

100%

I am a 40 year old man. I guess I just like my freedom to do what I want outside of work too much and the financial stress would be too much to deal with.

I decided not to have kids when I turned 23 and pandemic started , I had to compete and struggle to make ends meet also I still live with my parents alot of people in India do ,I have always wanted to adopt a kid

I’m 26. I didn’t want kids since i was 13

I do not want to have children, the world is not easy and everything indicates that it will only get worse. I don't want to put a child in the world to suffer.

@@juanpedro4083 exactly , I wouldn't do that either

Would you consider leaving on 2 tables lamps with 2 different types of bulbs and seeing which lamp burns out first, how long it takes for each one, and why, a type of science experiment? ??

@@hello-sz7hp be gone kid.

@@MarxMuruess are ess

Don’t listen to her. You’ll get a loving caring man and you two will live happily ever after.

Besides, there's alot of men who don't want kids,so doesn't sound to smart of her,in my opinion.

Lol women with kids aren’t very logical

My mum said exactly the same! She was so wrong! My gorgeous fiancee is 15 years younger and we totally adore each other.

Lol...exactly! 🙋‍♀️🙂🇬🇧

Ironically when children are adults they don’t even visit their parents in nursing homes 🥴

@@Pink_pr1ncess yeah and when they pass the siblings fight over money 😂.

Like anyone actually does that.

@@David-qk7lc 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😆

... and it's also presumptuous.

But she’s not too old to keep a kid

Age doesn't matter when it comes to decisional maturity, you see alot of older people making bad decisions

26 y/o woman doesn’t want kids: “Oh you’re still young, you’ll change your mind!” 16 y/o gets pregnant: “Oh my gosh isn’t she so mature!” 🙄

They think we’re too young to decide to not have kids, but old enough to have and care for kids.

“You’ll regret it one day.” I haven’t , because the reasons stood throughout time, and I knew they would.

I say the same to men. A lot of us are childfree too. 😎🍻

@Asimpnamednutsack Still having trouble with “your” and “you’re?” Keep at it, honey. 😋

@Asimpnamednutsack Better. Now tell us how that makes any difference. 😘

how shallow and patheric

@@AliciaGonzalez-pk3mw How is that toxic?

@Eugene Fisher exactly and am sure these lady's have there reasons

@Eugene Fisher Or single fathers taking care of the mothers kid cause she left ..

Where are such women? America's birthrates are pretty awful. So I don't know if there are a lot of women having children.

I agree. There are too many women who have kids for selfish reasons, like wanting to pass on their genes or family name.

@@VinnyLam How is that selfish? It's better than letting your family history die out.

You're a smart woman.

Why do single fathers date

Fact's

I have the same thing on my profile as well. Do you find you still have those with children still contacting you? That's ALL I get. I put it right at the beginning of my profile and I still get fathers contacting me.

@@solointheburbs ok, I thought I was the only woman who did this. And YES, I get single fathers who contact me all the time. I'm like, "why would you even consider someone who expressly stated that she doesn't want to date someone with kids?" I totally don't get it, but maybe more videos like this will help people better understand that if we don't have kids, we don't want yours

I think this is way more true than people care to admit ❤

Enjoy each other!:)

@Me Dna Homophobic comment And anyday would we rather be a member of LGBTQ than to raise a child with hunger, no new clothes, no money for education and hobbies or vacation. Some people actually think before they bring a new life into this world.

@@HH-bz6me asking if you are a homosexual is being homophobic ? i wish i was so 💖 privileged 💖 that the things i could be offended over are LITERAL questions ... girl 💀

I wish the average person had this much foresight. 🖤

You are wiser than most.

Now is the best most comfortable time in human History believe it or not, stress of living lol get real, life will always have stress and discomfort

​@@LutherusPXCsand meaningless

She's miserable, lol.

@@nikhilnewse3318 people who don’t have kids aren’t alone and miserable. They often have other family and friends in there life and people who are child free need days off too you know. You don’t know what’s happening in there life.

@@nikhilnewse3318 no there not maybe some are but not everyone. I never said that they deserve more paid leaves but they do deserve paid leave in general. They might have something important to deal with, childfree/childless people have problems too you know.

depnds if you having the day off prevented show one with kids from having the day off or not.

@@nikhilnewse3318 the poster is talking about being judged by another coworker for having a day off NOT for having more days off than the coworker, so it has nothing to do with what you’re talking about. Your comment comes across as degrading to the poster and in defense of the coworkers gossiping/bad-mouthing.

Or they undermine women's choices by saying things like "oh you will someday" "oh you just haven't met the right guy yet" - listen Karen I don't want kids!!

Agreed. My wife and I decided against children years ago, and she has gotten way more grief about it than I have. Not fair.

Plenty of people also give the stink eye to men for not wanting kids. I agree that there's more pressure on women to have kids.

@@rushrush1209 Yes.

@wattlesong Everyone is not like that

@@chooseaname30 Please stop. Judgement is judgement, not an evolutionary tool. Also please back up your claim that ''Most women realise this after a while & the regret hits like a freight truck''.

chooseaname30 There's seven billion people on this planet. Childfree people will not cause our species to go extinct.

with you 1000000%. I hope to one day find a partner that is on the same page.

@@chooseaname30 check reddit and Facebook for all the "I regret having kids" groups.

Isn’t it so messed up that they persecute you for not having kids then turn around and want to be you when they are stressed?? 😂

I guess your cats can keep you company.

@@MyName-cw4yr shut up

@@MyName-cw4yr Anything wrong with that?

@@Raniambiance at 26 I had a four month period that I had where I wanted a baby. The mood passed and I wanted not to have children after that.

@@MyName-cw4yr never had cats.

Well said!

YES.

I like that idea. I've never thought if it that way.

I agree

🙁🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺

She means no one will be there to take care of you.

@@neiya8862 Well, that's a valid point too I suppose. But that reason in itself sounds kind of selfish, doesn't it?

Why does everyone assume we'll be alone when we're old? Quite a few of my female friends don't want kids, so we'll just party together. I'm 19 and don't have kids, am I alone? No, I have my friends, I have my family, other people may have a significant other, children aren't the only people that count as not being alone.

Amen! Just like now! 😀

@Patrick Greatest and Best of best For both married and single parents kids cost way too much money too.

Agreed

Normally you end up getting the " you're just bad a managing money " line from people.

Not all of it. But definitely a big factor.

Money, time, health…

Smart people don't have nearly as many children as dumb people. Sounds like more of a smart people problem. If you really cared that much, maybe you would've had kids.

I'm sorry but that's none of their business. They shouldn't feel forced to have kids just because they'd be great parents.

It’s “the crazies” running the insane asylum.

You nailed it 👏🏽

Never underestimate less educated women for being mothers. Sometimes they are smarter, tough fighters and don't forget there are succesful person who raised by mothers who never enter school buildings.

I agree, I'm 38 and married. I honestly think that having kids is for selfish reasons sometimes. But not having kids is a very important and responsible thing to do.

honestly, flip the script. tell people that wanting kids is selfish, because how ethical is it really to raise a child in this world? how ethical is it to even raise a child when the only motivation is "because people wanted me to"? how ethical is it to make your own child when so many go uncared for? lots of ammo to fight back with.

I don't take that nihilist view but I do think that having kids is just as selfish. Coming from someone is considering having kids, I see nothing wrong with being "selfish", as long as it is a responsible choice.

Exactly..it is empathetic actually

Yes

Sarah Franz they probably say that because your parents want grand babies😊 And the reason ppl don’t say “you’ll change your mind” to kids who what babies is because that’s the norm. Ppl grow up and eventually have kids🤷🏾‍♂️

Sarah Franz I’m with you! I just hope that since you know this, you’re taking responsibility to NOT get pregnant? That’s a choice too

Because it's a biological prerogative to reproduce

@@stardustnation2480 Im pretty sure she doesn't have to have kids if she doesn't want to . Imagine being raise by a mother that never wanted you but was forced to have you because of pressure .

@@stardustnation2480 it's more of a choice.

Which lightbulb burns out first?

@@brownbrownbrown2938 What do you mean?

In this economy? Yeah that checks out

The chemicals in the chemistry lab

Chris Watts.. rest in peace to the kids and their mother..

My mom said the most toxic words to us, but appear nice in front of her friends.. She wonders why all her children has mental health issues.

@@iamtheruraljuror9257 Just tell her friends, infront of her, what a bad mother she is. She'll probably stop being two faced then.

All those poor kids 😭

Yuuupp, my mom had 8

I agree, it is often romanticized as if it was a fairytale, but in reality is devastating for some women and often a cause for splits in marriages 😒

Her mom told her a fantasy? Like the stork story? How old is your friend? in her teens?

this generation is raised non pain, only gain. Cannot understand that life is a struggle, nature is struggle, nothing is offered, all must be conquered.

Having a baby does alter a woman's body (and mind) and there may be negative side effects like post partum depression. Andrea Yates (the mother of her 5 drown children) is a prime example of what can go terribly wrong.

@@kansasthunderman1 exactly thank you I’ve always been told by my mother that I am a mistake that I ruined her

so true.

Truth!👀🙌

i’m 32 and couldn’t agree more! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

Pez in my 20s. Twenties are for you to build your empire, discover yourself, enjoy your time. Etc. not a time for children. Just my opinion. Why waste young years on kids.

I bet you’re right !

Would you consider leaving on a red lamp in the bedroom and an oval light in the office and seeing which burns out first after a longtime, doing an experiment?

​@@redredred8408 I have seen you and your alt accounts do this for the past year. Why do you spend your time 24/7 just trying to be wise/funny and not do something else?

Please take your meds .

A great quote :)

"The thing about regret is you don't regret not doing what you don't want to do"

I literally said "AMEN!" out loud at this part

I want to have children but giving birth really hurts apparently I don’t know what to do

Lol, I typed this out immediately she said it and put it in my notes

THIS THIS THIS !!!!!

And less population

if ppl would be more educated and actually careful about how to avoid pregnancy

True

I don’t fully understand the correlation.

Floaters at on the border

cd hole

and now are you happier with a baby?

It is your choice!! . Dont let the society judge you !!

This is my reasoning too.

I've been single for almost 5 years because I don't want kids and I don't want to date a woman that has children. So basically my options are extremely limited since 90% of women have/want kids. 😩

Fair enough but why was trying to toughen up not the choice you made? It's very much true that life's meaning is found in voluntary adoption of responsibility.

@@Chocolavacakeloco society keeps you accountable. Without the boundaries society sets, we'd be lost. That's not to say society is perfect.

Shut up

@@CloroxBleach-dy9jw aww u angry because a woman YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW doesn't want kids?

Yup

Wow, very accurate and detailed

You'll change your mind.

That's insane. Coercion culture has to stop.

Rishi It’s not a competition on who has it worse. She didnt mention anywhere else in the world, just the struggle in where she lives.

Same here in Jamaica. I was bullied everyday at work for not wanting any and by family members. I was often told by child abusers who have multiple kids, that I am wicked.

Do whatever you want hun I know it hurts what they say but leave the way you want

Happy " failure" here... I can take occasional naps and don't have to worry about anyone else. Also TOO BROKE!!!

Yea true why are you so sure they won’t abandon you

And maybe she also do the same if that same man decides to have one with her.

But a man wants to have his own progeny. You do realize that these women fell for feminist agenda

@@harrisn3693 Not true. I’m a man who would only date a person who doesn’t want children.

As long as you see him in the same light

@@harrisn3693 the man I'm currently with ended his previous relationship because SHE wanted kids and he doesn't. There's plenty men and women who don't want kids but society tries to shame us

Yes, I absolutely feel the same way! Too many are worried about their bloodline only when there’s too many in the system without a family. adoption needs more promotion..

Exactly, you took the words out of my mouth.

Nope nuns are crazy

I jus taya

Another pretty face and genetic intelligence wiped out of human race. 👍

@@mo.ka.9661 nope, crazy people are crazy.

I wish that was always possible 🥺

Say "If you really think I would've wanted your input, I would've asked, so please stop, change the subject, or don't speak to me"

I need to remember that line for next time, thank you!

100%!!! people should mind their business - they don’t have a clue what’s going on in other people’s lives or minds

Yes this is what should be done! I learned my lesson, I used to openly discuss my life with people (not friends, I'm talking about like coworkers) and let's just say the conversation never made me feel better afterwards. They would critique me on everything (especially me leaving religion which shouldn't even be discuss at work) so from now on when anyone asks me anything personal I've been saying "I rather not talk about this." And I immediately change the subject

I just would rather not give up so much of my life just to force another human into this world for no reason.

Sending you love💗

I’m happy you are here, though, thank you for sharing this. ❤️ wishing you nothing but the best my friend

Oh my dear, I'm really sorry for this! ♥️

That's nasty. I hope you find your happiness

Wanting children seems pretty selfish, really

I totally agree, my desire is to adopt children instead of giving birth yet my parents see that as bad somehow?

I've never wanted kids but got a stepdaughter and have loved being her stepmom. She is now 17. I've nannied for years and LOVE children. I just have never felt that urge or calling to have my own. Ive heard other women talk about that feeling and I've just never had it. I have a lot of pressure on me from everyone (not my husband thank goodness) but I'm sure in 5 or so years people will back off when its not a choice for me anymore.

Or we just hate kids 😂

Honestly, every one of those reasons is valid. No one owes the world a child. If a woman doesn't want one, she doesn't want one 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

Nice

It's ok to love a plant. I do so myself.

agreed. her name is coraline, i named her in homage to the new coronavirus. she is probably 3 months old by now. my little pink baby

OMG XD

🤣🤣💚

Me too... ppl need to mind their own businesses.. any woman is entitled to give no explanation to such stoopid and personal questions..

Exactly, every woman doesn’t want to have kids and they’re not going to do so.

"life has no purpose without kids" - um, maybe to a BORING PERSON!

​@@subtlesigns I'm stealing this dude

True. Its already quite obvious there has been an explosion of narcissism in past 3 decades

I don't think women have to explain. I think they want to explain hence the video. I'd love to see older women talk about this because all these women are young so they have a different perspective.

Well there still many countries in world ,where girls are not exposed to having a choice, so this video is a must.

Star Lah I hope so because it saddens me women have to explain the choices they make that have absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.

apparently not "people", only women...

Very true. Yours is the first comment that I have seen that addresses this fact.

It is no guarantee but it clearly has better chances of happening compared to not having any kids...

@@gaeb-hd4lf Why put up with 2 decades of torture for visits later in life, *maybe*?

gaeb1811 what if your kids and grandkids don’t want to or can’t take care of you? They are individuals with their own paths and dreams.

So so true. In my experience in care homes, we as carers have very often become a person's 'family' as their own are not around for whatever reason

Exactly!

Everyone should respect that.

I agree with you and I believe that the secret to financial stability is having the right investment ideas to enable you earn more money, I don’t know who agrees with me but either way I recommend either real estate or bitcoin and stocks.

I invested 10k in Robin hood and 401k about a year ago and it steadily went down, now my portfolio is down to $800. I don't know what to do and i am in between jobs

@@face2lune Understanding your financial needs and making effective decisions is very essential. If I could advise you, you should seek the help of a financial advisor. For the record, working with one has been the best for my finances.

@@AllisonSherman657 I’m Glad i stumbled on this. Please, if its not too much of a hassle for you, can you drop the details of the CFP that assisted you and how to get in touch......

@@face2lune I get guidance from *Susan Tori Davis* Most likely, the internet should have her basic info..

Great!

Love this!

wow and I see how youthful and beautiful you are!!! *high five* I want just that---freedom to be me.

You are living the dream 😁

you do you! that is actually the dream!! ❤

Get a dog instead.

thank you, john wick, for your wisdom

Your lifestyle wouldn’t allow it. Smart decision.

When you are 75 and lie on that ICU bed, you will desperately need some children, physically and emotionally.

@@davidzhai01 Having kids doesn't mean they'll be there when you're at death's door.

DeSean Blackwell oh absolutely I’m a 27 year old male and I love kids but for the past 4 years I have made a decision not to have children

Yeah, I am 35, I was struggling so many years thinking I wanted kids. When I realized that I was struggling, because I really don't want kids, I finally felt free when I could tell myself: I don't have to have kids.

Marriage too!

Cats cats cats cats cats cats cats cats

g cats

danny reflection on the ceiling

Family is the only thing that would support you through your struggles and pain. Maybe it's just your family in which members don't care about each other. It's normal that during evolution different individuals get different traits, and one traits are able to survive and pass their genes further, others are not, and you are from the second category. Selfishness is obviously a downgraded extinctive trait.

Well if my mum thought the same then great, I wouldn't have to deal with any of the BS of life.

@@alexandrapanico374 precisely, I wouldn't even know, so I don't see the problem

@@FedericaGalli89 - it's just a cheap gaslighting tactic. Difference is (hopefully) that your parents wanted you, hence there you are. Fact is, there's not a lick of evidence showing that childfree people are selfish. All you get are uninformed opinions saying that.

Even better- many moms would have been better off mentally, physically and financially without kids 🙈

my mum did think the same and guess what? she shouldn't have had me. her life would be better and i wouldn't be in pain :))

35 still no kids! travel saving money and giving to charity spend time with family friends I feel free and happy

@@josephinacotto That's great ; But how to find a partner who doesn't want to have kids.. everyone i just met doesn't like the idea of not having kids

@@theviewfinder1652 I was married to a man who had 3 kids went great he passed away ! Most of the time men have baby mamas so it makes it easier for me so I don’t have to have none 🤦🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️💀😉 ur welcome

@@josephinacotto Nice 👍

Haha

you've summed it up so perfectly.

Spot on 👌🏾

You’re so right. My mom married because of the pressure she was under (she lost her father before her time of marriage and no one wanted to marry her). She was basically looking for a marriage status more than love and she had the mindset that she will say yes to any man who asks her for marriage. When she told me this I realized why I am the way I am mentally, I finally knew why I grew up feeling so low and disgusted about myself. The way I was raised wasn’t out of love, I was just a solution to her inability to fit into her society. It sucks to know that I wasn’t the result of two people in love, and now the family she was forced to create is full of issues.

Exactly. Well said. 👍👍👍

Well put!

wait until you get 70

@@zong8085 ha ha, I'll have no regrets. Like my own company too much.

@@zong8085 and when she turns 70 you will be like: Wait till you turn 100 😂

no kids is why you still look amazing at 58!

@@rosiebottom3870 congrats you look gorgeous, and I'm sure you'll not have any regrets.!!

chile9615 yeah you say it like every people on this earth has the same sense of responsibility, like no man or woman has ever become an abusive and irresponsible parents.

@@MuchCow9000 Your evading the point that Angelica was making. Not everyone has same sense of responsiblity. It is not responsiblilty when you leave your kids to the state, orphanage or someone else to take care of, rather than doing it your self. If responsibility is merely subjective than your saying basically anything goes and anything can be an act of responsibility. If I choose instead to dumb an infant on someone's doorstep as oppose to in the middle of the woods then I'm showing some responsibility. After all by dumping in front of someone's home I'm giving that poor infant a better chance of surviving than just leaving him/her in the woods to die. Thats being responsible in a subjective sense.

You will regret not having kids. It is one of those things that others have but you don't kind of mentality. Like valentines day you don't have a date and the other couple next to you is smooching up while you sulk in self pity and loneliness. Who will take care of you when you get older? Push you out in a sunny day for a walk in a wheel chair when you get older? Drive you to the doctors and stay in the hospital if you need medical treatments? Without children, you are on your own. Last year some news of seniors died alone in their home from a trip and fall, in bed from medication overdose, in a heart attach or other problems. If you don't got no body, nature will eat you alive. Staff in senior housing will treat you badly cause no one cares for you or visits. This is the reality I see from my experience.

@@dsalpha18 You want a child because you want someone to take care of you when youre older, and are completely disregarding theyre life and needs? Thats just selfish.

nothing will ever replace having your own child.Fostering and adopting can have various problems, biggest one being the child belongs to the authorities and can choose to leave you anytime they wish!