Best Lines of Mass Effect 2 & 3 

Shepard just looks so disappointed every time he talks to joker.

Shep: "I should go" Prisoner: "Wish I could go"

"Did you steal the cookie from the cookie jar?" "No data available."

This Shepard face after every Joker line is just killing me xD

"Thresher Maw getting closer!" "Tell me something I don't know.!" "Iron in Truck an excellent supplement for Maw's diet!"

"Warlord Okeer is dead" "Of course he is, you're with Shepard"

"What's the matter Vakarian? You chicken?" "I don't even know what that is, though I've heard everything in the galaxy tastes like it." Gets me every time

"Raise your hand if you haven't been killed before."

If you throw us out the airlock, we will still live. Geth do not require oxygen.

I love the inclusion of Shepard's blank reaction with every stupid thing Joker says.

Wrex: "Sometimes I don't know if the Normandy's a warship or a travelling freak show." Or a soap opera. XD

"Analysis: Defenseless herbivores are no match for guided missiles" lol

Shepard: "What kind of weapons does This thing have? Liara: "It's a Taxi. It has a fare meter." Shepard: "Wonderful."

"your Joker pilot insists i cal myself prothi the prothean, i insisted he allowed me to throw him out of the airlock" LOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOL

Tali: So you're a real, living Prothean? Javik: As apposed to a fake, dead one? Me: Yes, a Collector!

when you need a problem shot, ask a turian. when you need a problem talked to death, ask an asari. when you need a new problem, ask a salarian. when you need a problem fixed, ask a human. hehe

"I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite store on the Citadel." Still my favorite.

Joker: "You won't tell Shepard about this, will you? " Mordin: "Shepard won't find out from me." Joker: "... He's standing right there, isn't he..." Krogan Shaman: "I wish I wasn't."

"The galactic humane society reminds you that animals are people too." LOL

Zaeed: "Pile the bodies in the street and burn 'em." Grunt: "Anyone else hungry? No?" Zaeed: "Is there any smell that doesn't make you hungry?" Grunt: "I dunno yet." Grunt is easily the best character. Ever.

Love how each Joker scene in ME2 pretty much ended with Shepard like >: |

9:34 gets me everytime. Thane's son gets arrested for attempting to murder the guy shepard just murdered in front of the police, meanwhile Shepard walks out a hero... Spectre status is priceless.

"That's a straw, Tali." Beautiful writing, 10/10

Tali: "Vents... Always the vents..." Shepard: "You did fine at the collector base" Tali: "I got set on FIRE!"

7:28: "You don't want to hear a drunk Elcor sing". Me: Yes I do!!

Because it's a big, stupid jellyfish....

i am a biotic God.... FEAR ME!!!!

The look your Shepard makes when talking with Joker is priceless

''But you are forgetting something'' ''What?'' ''I'm a Spectre Two'' ''UGH MY ARMMM'' ''You'll live''

5:03 "I don't need luck. I have ammo!" Grunt, how I love you so.

Tali-"Youre a real, living prothean?" Javik- "As apposed to a fake, dead one?" Javik the troll

Probing Uranus...

your Shepard legitimately scares the piss out of me

If Garrus calibrated that gun sooner we could’ve killed the reapers in like 20 minutes

I love how every time shepherd talks to joker, he looks like he is done with jokers shit xD

Everything that Ken Donnely says is gold.

Jokers smart comments + Shepards face :-| = priceless

"You don't act like a dying man." Now I'm dying.

"Is there a smell that doesn't make you hungry? "I don't know yet"

Samuel L. Shepard.

6:09 Liara: "Let it go Liara... Just let... it... go"

"Guarantee Shepard won't learn about this from me..." "He's standing right there, isn't he?" Joker, he's always there.

Oh my god... The mustache..

"How do you know when a Turian is out of ammo?" "He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon!"

"There's a trauma center near here, right?" "Ah, fuck it." ROFL

Tali and Garrus are so meant for eachother

"There was a hole." Best.

14:40 Analysis defense herbivores are no match for guided missiles. Holy shit Ive never heard that before, I nearly died of laughter.

"So if I shot you dead right now, a drell court wouldn't convict me?" Lol!

"What do you suppose the prothean eats? What if it's boiled asari with a side of fried turian? I don't know about Liara but I'm not taking that one for the team." -Garrus

13:15 the cut from the fish question to the fish tank almost made me do a spit take.

Imagine a drunk elcor singing.

Garrus: "That's unfortunate, hospitals aren't fun to fight through." Shepard: "What is fun to fight through?" Garrus: "Gardens, electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy." Best lines ever.

Tali's reaction to knowing what's wrong with Grunt is best

I should go. Ishould go. Aishould go. Aisha go. Aishago.

24:49 in, Shepherd straight KILLING IT on the dance floor had me dying laughing.

6:12 Oh my fucking god...

"Really commander?" *sigh,* "Probing Uranus."

Commander Shepherd's fish took the highest casualties in this entire series.

Garrus: "this one feels like a flower" Lol'd so hard! XD

i love whenever Shepard insults a species while a member of that species is in his current squad.

Ahaha the face Shepard does afte joker's jokes kill me

17:50 The most emotion I've ever witnessed from her.

probing uranus XDDDD Laughing my ass off right now....

Having played virtually purely as paragon, I had no idea how much hilarity was missed by avoiding the renegade options. This is gold.

Renegade Shepard sounds like Archer.

"I should go." -Commander Shepard

Jack's "Just kick his ass!" kills me every time lmao

TO BE THE KROGAN QUEEEEEEEEEENNNN!!!!!

I loved the "Geth dont use windows" conversation.

Legion: friendly fire! Help me Shepherd Commander! Lol

9:18 oh my GODS... that was great.

Garrus shooting Brooks and going "You know, I meant for that to be a warning shot... ah, well." is my absolute favorite joke in any game ever.

"Can it wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

-Echoes of Garrus' calibration lines float around every fan's mind-

"can it wait I'm in the middle of some calibrations" - Garrus vakarian

"He's standing right there, isn't he" *Doc from off-screen* "and I wish I wasn't"

"my Brain agrees with you" thanks Tali XD

17:50 commence the "i should go" montage

Man, mass effect was so awesome, this hit me right in the nostalgia, i might replay the whole trilogy again. How could they screw up andromeda so badly omg

Absolutely brilliant. Thanks for putting in the work to do this, I enjoyed it immensely.

To read a satirical script of Mass Effect 1, please check: drive.google.com/file/d/0B86kwEAJNHqRV2l5U3dLSGU0dTg/view?usp=sharing

Drunken Tali is so cute XD

God that scene with legion about your armor lol.

"How do you know when a turians' run out of ammo?" "When he switches to the stick u his ass as a back up weapon." I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my entire life. :D

9:56 That face says "I'm really getting sick of your shit joker".

I love how all of Joker's dialogue is followed by Shepard making a face I can only describe as "disappointed, but not surprised."

I love how every line of Joker's is followed by a disapproving stare from Shepard.

"Throw it out the airlock Commander!"

Love this selection of funny lines from ME. This takes me back. Nice work!

This is a pretty good montage. I love how you closed it.

I WAS FLYIN OUT IN SPACE WITH MY WOES YOU KNOW IT, "I SHOULD GO"

Fixin' problems is my job ... I should go

Thank you for posting this. Completed ME3 months back. Never saw most of this. Or forgot some too maybe. Need to go back and play through from the beginning again.

Wonderful compilation! I've played the series a total of 7 times and a lot of these are still new to me. Best writing in video games IMO. (You left out one of my favourite zingers: Joker and Edi in the club discussing sexuality of teammates) Great work.

"Shepard's standing right there isn't he?" "I wish I wasn't" I fucked died

14:55 The Galactic Humane Society reminds you that animals are people too.

6:48 I love that Wrex doesn't even question that Shep is telling the truth. Wrex: "Sometimes I don't know if the Normandy's a warship or a travelling freak show."

LOVE IT!!! GREAT COMPILATION!

"Probing Uranus"... he he he