BIG FRENCH F*CKERY 

Yes we actually transferred the edit onto a VHS and back for the effect

If you can piss straight up on the catenary and not get electrocuted you get no down payment!

Setting playback speed to 1.25x speed makes it nearly perfectly align with the original video's speed

We need more of this shitposting in the urbanist space, lol.

Jesus this is for such a specific group of people. Rarely have I ever seen something so niche done so lovingly well

AHAHAHAHAHA This is basically is reverse ad for Siemens and Stadler

Alstom had its own issues, but now they they've bought out Bombardier, they've inherited _their_ issues too.

Alan’s voice is so perfect to do a voice over for this meme

The most French NY subway car is the R-68. On the maiden revenue voyage out of Coney Island on the Brighton it over ran the first stop.

Remember when the US forcibly took control of Alstom energy and French nuclear powerplants maintenance? That's karmic justice 😂.

As an Italian, it's always a pleasure seeing French engineering ending up in a big f*ckery 😂

Inb4 Well Theres Your Problem: Avelia Liberty

You know what pisses me off about this is that they had problems with the first group of Acelas they bought so they went out and did the same thing again.

Definitely did not expect a reimagining of FU Baltimore but I love it

I'm just glad that this means we're more likely to see a variant of a Siemens Velaro with Brightline West and/or CAHSR. While I'd love to see a Velaro Novo, a Velaro D/ICE 3 Neo would be great as well.

I mean, they're truthful, which modern corporate train dealerships aren't. So they have that going for them

it's really paying off how Alstom bought Bombardier to get a hand on their expertise in making trains that don't fit the loading gauge and catch fire

My local rail operator (UK's South Western Railway) ordered 90 Class 701 EMUs from Alsthom (Aventra series). They were meant to go into service in mid-2019. Here we are in 2023 and they are supposedly going to enter service by December (I'll believe it when I see it). So many issues. Looks like they f*cked us too.

When you're in Denmark and your national rail company has ordered 100 Fr*nch trains... "Hehe, I'm in danger." Edit: The trains are delayed.

We need something similar for SBB's latest Intercity trains

I cant stop laughing LMAOOOO

This and THE MILWAUKEE ROAD version are masterpieces

“If you think you’re gonna find a bargain at big croissant you can kiss my ass!” It’s gold

I'll play devil's advocate: When Amtrak ordered LRCs from MLW (whci got bought by Bombardier before deliveries), it insisted on changing amny compinents. End result: the Amtrak version of LRCs was even more reliable because not designed/engineered for those components. When Amtrak ordered the heavy steel Acellas, it also stipulated certain components, notably for washroom automatic doors etc. They ended up being highly unreliable but it was the manufacturer that got the bad reputation. (though the faulty structural items was Bobardier's fault). But this is what happens when USA rules require every train be a custom untested model with untested "made in USA" components. And right now, with the FRA reluctantly once again allowing aluminium trains, instead of ordering a real TGV trainset (single deck) with proven TGV components, it ordered a mixture of TGV-M (Avelia horizon) locos downgraded to USA statndardsm and Pendolino coaches, not only downgraded to USA stadards but also with changed tilting tech to use GPS as predictive tilting, and both, of course need to meet "made in USA" so many untested components. Had Amtrak bought used single deck TGVs from SNCF, the conversion to US power and replacing the TVM signaling with the ACSES would have taken less time and cost way less money. It was Amtrak that asked for tilting technology AND a TGV, two items that cannot be mixed since TGvs are true high speed trains that run on tracks that are banked and don't have complex banking system that make cars heavier (axle load is very important on jacobs bogie trains). Why did Amtrak insist on tilting tech? Since it owns the corridor, how come it can't bank its own tracks properly? About the only "made in USA" trains that got multiple orders are the current heavy steel Siemens "Venture" which were imported/downgraded older Viaggios. The process is costly since the cars need to be re-engineered to meet FRA standard and "buy America" standards so Siemens isn't about to import the new Viagios that are aluminium and much lighter since that would cost too much to re-engineer and get FRA certification. So the end result is that every new train purchased in USA (and Canada) since "made in USA" was enforced are from practical point of view , totally new and untested trains so every order has a lot of teething problems because Amtrak and others are not allowed to buy trains that have proven reliability in europe. When governments are more concerned with the photo op announcements (announcing local jobs, local content etc) than actually offering the service, then expect unreliable equipment because their photo op requirements are incompatible with getting equipment that works ASAP. For all the problems with the CDPQ REM in Montréal, at least they avoided this and bought off-the shelf Indian version of the Metropolis metros (the cheaper heavy steel version) and did not specily any "made in Canada" requirements so they are fitted with the compenents the model was originally designed for.

I’m surprised how faithful this is to the original.

On the one hand ya, but on the other the tracks of the NE corridor are also definitely worse than Alstom is used to. I imagine any foreign manufacturer would have run into problems with the unstandardized and poorly maintained mess that is the Northeast corridor.

Should’ve gone with Siemens. 😎

The mention of Philly is funny because, both ways, i was stuck at that station for an hour because they were changing the engine.

I think I just had a fever dream.

Big Croissant!

You're such a madlad for transferring this shitpost onto a VHS and back just to establish the effect. Well done sir!

This ad gets even funnier when you realize that the avelias have been sitting for so long that their paint’s starting to peel off

This fits perfectly with the theme of the original ad! Challenge Tilting seems like it would be quite the experience for an Acela train!

I think this is my favorite video parodying the Big Bill hell's cars commercial, apart from the Milwaukee Road meme of said commercial.

this is what happens when public transport equipment manufacturers cannibalise themselves with mergers & acquisition. RIP Bombardier / Adtranz

THEY PARODIED BIG BILL HELL

I'm Deaaaaad that was perfect way to start my day! Better not bounce indeed 🤣 @ 1:00

The French railways learned that infrastructure beats technology. The trains are outdated in 10 years, the laser straight track is irreplaceable. Result: build great rail beds and buy cheap trains. Not their fault the rest of us just get the cheap trains.

LMFAO

I love how there’s a shot of two ALCO centuries pulling the new train sets.

Masterpiece

Buy your next trainset from K U N K L E M A N Chevrolet Alstom Siemens Bombardier Stadler!

In unrelated news, Siemens wins the trainset tender for CAHSR.

When he said “it better not bounce or you’re a dead mfer “you should’ve used tank footage from “triumph of the will”

Meanwhile Hitachi is just sitting there being train chads

challenge tilting is actually making it tilt more than 6 degrees and not leaking hydraulic fluid

Perfect riff on a perfect video lmaooooo

time traveller: *breaks a stick* the timeline:

Sounds similar to what happened to our IC4 trains in Denmark - we got screwed by the Italians. Somehow, one of the trains ended up in Libya, as a gift to Muammar Gaddafi. That's a story I want to hear firsthand accounts from.

This hilarious! Did Regular Car Reviews inspire this? I get Kunkleman Chevrolet vibes.

“Hurry up, a**hole” GOT ME DEAD

"Big Croissant" is the funniest way of describing France, and I need that to be the new way to refer to France.

Brought in my wife. The conductor let her ride

High speed failure, explained in the 80s VHS cockmercial.

“Don’t fuck with us or we’ll rip your brakes off” 😂

Looks like Alstom just stooped down to Chinese CRRC levels. I’m hoping to see more Siemens products running in America.

Every time he says Big French Fuckery it gets funnier lmao

Ottawa has the light rail version of BFF…

i love how people are still making these

Yo, that impression was pretty decent!

Siemens: You should have gone with our ICE, just saying

This could have worked for Brightline west too since they are considering buying the Avelia liberty. Update: Alston trying to block waiver so brightoine west basically has to buy from Alston Also shame this video is probably demonitized, it’s so great, although it wouldn't be great if you got it anywhere near monitzation acceptibilty.

I may have never smiled harder in my life. Perfect plan and perfecter execution.

Should have gone with their German friends at Siemens

This is amazing. The sad thing is once you factor in all the areas the Acela is not allowed to go full speed it is only something like 20 minutes faster than the regular trains. Acela is popular because comfy seats, better food and less poor people. You could do all of that on a regular train for a lot less.

You know you could also do this for Siemens because the SC44s and ALC42s have been having a lot of issues lately and the Venture Cars are already starting to fall apart 2 atleast the Midwest ones are

Incredible 🥹

Our metro system uses Alstom roling stock.

The smile in his voice on "or you're a dead motherfucker!" ❤😂

I'm no rail expert, but as an NJT rider, I feel this. Although we're more about impaling our cars with steel beams.

As a American, the Big Bill’s Hell will add insult to *France*

Thoughts on MBTA commuter rail being contracted out to Keolis, which is majority owned by the SNCF?

Tbh, I'm surprised other people knew Hornell existed.

French trains company would not get SNCF as name but BFFC (Big French Fuckery Company)

Yes

LET'S GO SIEMENS! 👏👏, 👏👏👏

Oh no a knockoff of the Milwaukee road meme

Those trains actually can't run on US tracks because they are too old and busted according to Amtrak and international experts.

Did anyone else find this after finding Big Bill Hell’s Cars commercial?

I want to see a version like this but Bucharest metro trains

BIG BILL HELLS

This is the Waluigi of Big Bill Hell's ads.

Nah this sounds personal 💀

Please clean up all the coffee that I just spit out from watching this.

WE SOULD BUY ... A chinese Trains

Now we need the Boeing version!

They’ve should’ve gone with Velaro from the beginning

Ah, this is not the only Alstom train that is a DISASTER _Cough cough_ Class 701 _cough cough_ EDIT (11/10/2023): So it seems the UK are getting their own Avelia sets now as National Express (Mobico) wants to rival Eurostar.

1:03 what would be funny if he used footage of an amtrak police car

Imagine coming home from work, taking a few weed gummies and putting this on....I'm fucking crying XD

The trains themselves work perfectly, it’s just hard to make a trains that will work on such shitty infrastructure that is in the US

Why did they redact the amount spent on the trainset acquisition from the OIG report? The hell is that about?

Isn't that an Italian style high speed train? Frecciarossa

“Lets fuck it up”

should’ve gone with north british locomotives

Its a french train, the TGV M

This is too beautiful, I got a tear in my eye.

Alstom hate account

Alstom make a good product since the TGV duplex challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

Crazy how this became a huge thing in the deltarune community.