Biggest Red Flag A Woman Have On The FIRST Date | Viewer Edition 

A woman bringing their kid on a first date is a huge "nope" we don't know each other well enough. I see it as bad parenting and would be thinking something like: "Oh, she could be bringing my child meeting some random man that she does not know at all"

Lying about a guy making unwanted sexual demands goes beyond over correction. It's getting to the point where you need to carry a recorder around with you at all times or just avoid the whole dating scene. As for turning up with a kid, that's a lie of omission and expecting you to carry on "because you're already there" is manipulation which, to me, is the biggest red flag of all.

The problem was she didn't tell him about the kid at all, if she can lie about a whole person what else is she lying about

I was on a first date with a girl from Bumble. Things were going well until she randomly volunteered without prompting that her 80+yr old grandmother was in jail for murdering a black teenager. Apparently the grandmother tried to claim she didn't see him just something sneaking around on her property and shot at the bushes. The poor kid was not on her property and everyone knew beforehand she was very racist. As I myself am not white I had no clue what to do/day or even what to do with this information. I kindly waited until she finished her coffee and excused myself. There was no second date.

I’m not against dating someone who has kids. The red flag is bringing your kid on your frickin date. Why would you do that I mean seriously don’t bring some kid with you to something romantic that’s just plain rong

I love the bloopers. Keep it up dude you're doing amazing.

I think Mr. Facts actually just full on getting mad and cussing is funny 😂

I once had a first date with a woman I knew had kids. This is almost 15 years ago. We were supposed to go to a restaurant, but she invited me in and introduced me to the kids as their new daddy. Well, as she was yapping on the phone with her mother, I played with the kids (about 4 and 6 at the time), but I mad sure they knew that it wasn't their fault, I wouldn't come around anymore, because what their mother did was very cruel to me and them. Later I found out she was a cousin of a woman who lives in the neighbourhood, and she told me I didn't dodge a bullet, but a 155mm shell. She's nuts. Last I heard from her cousin, she never found a guy and the kids opted to live with their dad, who wasn't a complete lunatic. So yeah, telling the kids on the first date (that didn't turn out to be a date) that the new guy is the new daddy, is a parade of red flags in one go.

I send my condolences for those trying to make their way through the dating scene. Don't give up, and you are enough. You don't need someone else to complete you, you're wonderful as you are.

Mainly facts guy, The problem isn't the fact that the kid was there. the problem was that the kid wasn't mentioned in the first place and was essentially dropped on this person on the first date, At that point staying, talking and listening isn't really required of the guy. it isn't what he signed up for. he wasn't told so he has no real obligations to her to hear her reasoning for not telling him about having a son. Ultimately the main problem was the lie, Maybe you would be more forgiving Facts guy, But. alot of people (men, women. non-binary. trans. gays, lesbians. etc) would all most likely be upset and you can't blame them for it or try to say. "Stay and talk, It *could* or *may* get better." for some people kids are a deal breaker. My point ultimately being that, While it is great to keep an open mind and give second chances. If someone man, woman. non-binary etc. does something that upsets you or even offends you then it may be in your best interest for you and that person to just find other people. Sure people can move passed the first rough and tumble into the hay barrel. but. no one is obligated to give those second chances if they truly don't want too. You always claim you are getting one side of the story which is true, You are. however to blatantly judge people (intentionally or unintentionally) is still unfair. you like to say that "you never know what people are going through to make them be like this" and you don't know what the OP's of these stories are going through, For all you know is that they encountered too many "I'm not like other girls/guys" and just simply don't have the patience for it anymore. and ontop of that again. kids are a deal breaker for some people because they may have decided at some point in their lives that they don't want kids. so it's understandable that a mother or father bringing their child on the first date after having lied about having a child is obviously going to be a deal breaker for people. You tell us to be open minded yet you are pretty quick to judge other people when having only one side of the story, Again intentional or unintentional you still do it. so why don't you at least try to consider a reason for why these stories go the way they do before casting judgment like "oh you should stay and listen, talk. maybe you'd be able to look passed the kid part and be happy with that person " people have boundaries for a reason and want them respected.

Sorry to hear you're stressed - please don't take comments to heart too much! I think some people's reactions can be magnified when they're bashing out their opinion on a keyboard in an online setting where they're anonymous. I really enjoy your videos and I always look forward to more... but I also hope you're taking time for yourself, too. I see so many youtubers suffering from 'burnout', so take care (or not, I won't tell you what to do!). Sending positive thoughts

Hey mate just wanted to say that I've been binge watching your vids as I really enjoy your delivery and insights. Sorry if people are getting you down, there's a lot of frustration and anger out there and a lot of people don't know how to process it all and end up lashing out. Just know that you are appreciated

You are doing great, dude! And your message of tolerance is greatly appreciated.

Hey MainlyFact, make sure you're taking care of your mental health too. People can be harsh, and though you may have thick skin, we are all human. Thank you for brightening up our days, you are appreciated and cared about.

I appreciate you man. Especially the ending to this video. Keep on trecking on and please keep your hopes high. Its a harsh world and we get to make it better

Oh boy, love this. I'm a lesbian and I had this red flag date as well. She came off as funny and flirty, and kissed me at a pride event. Got her number and then went to her place another day. Now I don't mind if a lady has a kid, but that's not the issue here. She lived with Grandparents and they were taking care of the kiddo while we watched a movie. The same thing some men get, one work answers and not much talk. She decides to take me "somewhere" to share more about herself. I get in her car, and she drives like a lunatic in a neighborhood all the way to a school zone. Proceeds to take me to her old high school and tells me she was best friends with a victim from columbine (the fucked up shooting). Now she unloads that she has unresolved love for her friend, can see her ghost, talks to her often, oh yeah and she is (the date, not her ghost friend) a vampire. I noped out of there as soon as she mad dash drove us back to her grandparents. Said we'd talk some more, but never did, and I was glad for it!

In my experience, trauma dumping means they're trying to keep you attached to them by forcing empathy

When she constantly brings up her ex and what they use to do

Loved the end of the video.😂❤

Sending love your way, Mr. Facts! You do solid work for us and we appreciate it! If you need, take a break to de-stress. Everyone needs it now and again.

Thanks for the stories and the narration! It really makes my ride to work a lot more entertaining 😊

Mainly facts guy is the best. He doesn’t hide his feelings to peoples less than stellar views and he’s open minded. And the content is so much nicer to listen to in the background as the tts voices are so monotone they give me a headache. But I can watch these videos for hours. Also is there an application process to become a narrator on one of these channels?

Mr. Mainly Facts, please take a few days off. We love your content, and can tell you need a break. Your mental and emotional health is more important than daily videos. The world is not black and white, and one red flag is not a deal breaker. EVERYONE has red flags, and inflexibility is one.

I have never been on a date, I've just never been in a position where that could be feasible, but these videos are a great way to learn what to look out for when I finally do get to dating if that ever happens. That all said, I know that most of the stuff you see in romcoms, and the like, is not cute, quirky, and romantic in the real world; it's actually creepy when you think about it. A parade of red flags could be someone treating the dating scene like a romance or rom-com story, comic, or film. Yes, all that stuff is portrayed as sweet and endearing in the framework of the work, but if you were to actually try doing any of that stuff in the real world, the best-case scenario would be people giving weird looks or an awkward conversation with a law enforcement officer. Cinema Therapy, which I highly recommend checking out if you already haven't, has a few videos covering romance films and the like. The hosts always like to point out what in movies is likely to not be acceptable in the real world, and even point out cases where those big romantic gestures would probably get you the opposite reaction of what happens in those sorts of films. I recommend their video on Hitch; they actually point out how the movie does a good job of giving you decent dating advice and also point out some of the things that would likely be red flags if you were to ever try them in real life.

Your videos just keep getting better and better!!! 😂

I would walk out of a date if they showed up with a kid I didn't know about too. Had I known about the kid, I would never have agreed to the date in first place. I don't want to date a parent. I also don't think a child should be introduced to a potential partner that early. You're gonna mess them up if you drag them around from date to date with different people.

It wasn't even a first date really, I just wanted to hang out because it was my first relationship and I wanted to get to know her better. I invited her to watch horror movies at my place. She made a joke and said that she "wouldn't be able to contain herself" if she ended up spending the night. I had never mentioned anything about her spending the night. We were in 8th grade. Unsurprisingly, it never ended up going anywhere.

Well... I was with this chick back in 2016. What's weird is, she didn't like me at first for some unknown reason. But when I was single. She was into me. Anyway. My mate tried to warn me of her. He's her ex, they dated and he said she's awful. I thought he was jealous and was still into her. Nope. He did try to warn me. Anyway. I took her to dinner. She was the first girl I ever took to dinner and... It was the worst. She was on her phone, ignoring me, not making eye contact and not saying a word to be. I thought it be cute to hold her hand, but she pushed it away. And after that. I vowed myself to never talk a girl out to dinner. Ever again. Plus, she was nuts. She used her depression, suicidal tendencies, self-harming and other manipulative shit to control me. If I didn't speak to her within a nano-second she'll think I am cheating. She was a living, breathing walking red flag... We were only together for 3 months... I'm so glad I'm out of that relationship. And I haven't dated or been with anyone since 2016... She ruined relationships for me.

A lot of People with trauma are longing to talk about it with someone and a lot of times it’s all they think about, so try to be kind of someone word vomits trauma on you! If you don’t want to hear it just tell them you aren’t in the right mind space for a conversation like that!❤️

"Old people don't like those effers!" 😂

Have a date Friday and I'm gonna need this so I don't accidentally act like a nightmare bitch

26:13 “Oh Fuck you voice to text, nooo!” I am dying😭

I love the outtakes you've been adding to the videos

As someone who used to trauma dump a lot it isn't necessarily a manipulation tactic. I used to do it because i was working through the trauma and at the time that process defined me. So if i was going to share a little bit about myself i went straight to that. Certain traumas are all about secrecy so there is healing power in being open about it. Maybe not fair to the virtual stranger they've just met but they can't see that in the moment.

Mr. Facts epilogue commentary: "Fuck you, voice to text!" Me: 🤣

Hearing the bloopers and him saying f*ck is funny kinda

How is everyone doing today?

Fully with you on the "talk about things instead of just walking away". Like the kid story, for some people kids are a big friggin deal and maybe a big dealbreaker too, but others might not be fully aware of that. By talking about it you could find out if she just blatantly lied about it OR you save the next guy she dates from finding out about the kid too late or in the wrong manner. Communication is important, not just about any children that are in play, but in basic human contact as well. If i just get ghosted by friends, dates, whatever, and no one tells me why or what went wrong then i'm left with zero tools to remedy the problem in future interactions! Like, i am clueless on certain aspects of human interaction, and i'm nothing special so there's at least a thousand people in the same boat. We need to be told about certain unwritten rules or we simply won't know. But that's not how it is believed to work by some other people. If they are wronged, they get to walk away, ghost, verbally assault, etc, because they are the victims in the scenario. It is not their job to educate the wrongdoers, they are not beholden to help the person that crossed a line. It might even be considered rude to tell a person "hey, here's why no one wants to be around you" But some of us would really like to know... so communicate.

His videos are always pretty interesting topics

I want kids and would love being the bonus dad. But if a woman brought a kid on the first date I would nope out of there too. Just to protect the kid if nothing else. Can you imagine the poor kid having to meet their 'new dad' three times a week? Brrr.

Communication, communication, and communication, is always key. Being able to talk to someone openly in a relationship is a major foundation in having a partner for the long term, that cannot be stressed enough. The amount of people I've helped [advice, mostly online] due to them or their partners not being able to open up is very surprising. You should be able to feel comfortable around them, and accept you through who you are, as no one is perfect, and them saying they are just that is pure hypocrisy. That and also getting away from those who pressure you into things that you don't want to do, another big problem. You are not required to do so, and you don't have to if you're practically being forced to or guilt trippd into doing so, as that is a major red flag and a big problem as that would just be detrimental to you. Just thought I would put that out there. Also you should really take a break! I, personally, am very concerned about that ending there, maybe try to explain yourself a little better in future videos to avoid those crazy people in the comments? Again, you aren't perfect, and we all apreciate you and what you do, and enjoy the content you make. If you need to have a break, do so, it's not a bad idea to every once in a while if youre feeling overwhelmed. You're doing the best you can, and people should be thankful for that. I know that most of us are. 🫂💙🦋

Had an online friend in the chat rooms and AIM way back in the dark ages of online chat. She had a couple of little girls. She met this guy, dated for awhile and finally felt comfortable enough to introduce him to the little girls. I don't recall how the conversation started but the youngest little girl said something about not having a daddy. For some reason the man said I'll be your daddy. Naturally, my friend thought, great, he loves my children. After awhile he told her that things were moving too fast and dumped her. Moral of the story, be very, very careful about introducing your children to your date. It's not fair to them to have someone make such a statement and then ghost a little girl he insisted call him daddy.

Astronomy guy had the best response.

Story 18: Alright Class, the main working theory is that this lady wants to be swept off her feet by playing coy. This doesn’t work even with regularly socialized lads, let alone socially awkward ones.

You're doing a great Job Bud, Sorry you got so stressed out on this video. Hope you feel better soon.

Watching you troubleshoot is hysterical

You are correct, the world is nuanced. I like to say to people the world is not black and white, no matter how much you want it to be that simple. People on reddit and on the internet are very quick to treat a situation where they have very little information as if it is black and white. It’s crazy

I was set up on a blind date by a friend and the girl was…. Interesting to say the least. We planned to have lunch and go shopping at a shop that mainly sold nerdy stuff. She showed up wearing a tail and ears that kinda irked me (No offense to furries, it’s just not my cup of tea) but I brushed it off trying to not be judgy. We had a pretty good time until we said by and we hugged. Then she just stood there swaying like an anime girl and said “I’ll let you pet my tail if you want you know~” AGAIN: I didn’t want to be judgy or rude but I was started to get weirded out. I hesitated in doing so and when I did it she MOANED like she could feel me touching the thing. I got uncomfortable, moped out of there and left as cleanly as I could. When I met up with my friend again I told him what happened and all he did was sigh and say “I told her not to do that…” THANKS DUDE.

Had one that ended up being a red flag immediately upon arrival. For context, I met this girl while working and basically asked her out and she invited me to what she called a "party". I arrived and it was just one of those obnoxious MLM shills trying to sell vacation packages. And the entire time the girl I initially spoke to didn't bother even interacting with me the entire time, so I just explained that I had no interest and bounced.

A Metal Gear Solid Psycho Mantis reference...wasn't expecting that. Kings to you good sir.

Dear Mainly Facts~ sending you love, sunshine and melatonin so you can sleep well. I watch so many reddit stories and your comments hit me the most because a lot seems to come from a place of understanding and empathy. I heard it exactly you said it in the original and it's not a reflection of you but rather the listener that they took it in that way. You're doing the best work❤🌞💊 *hug

I apologize for hearing about your stress. Please try not to let negative comments affect you too deeply. In online environments where people can remain anonymous, some individuals tend to amplify their reactions. I genuinely appreciate your videos and eagerly anticipate more content from you. However, I also hope that you prioritize self-care. It's disheartening to witness many RU-vidrs experiencing burnout, so please take care of yourself. Sending you positive vibes and support

Story 10 I've ran into those types on dates and I even say "what does there business have to do with our business?"

(Speaking to reader) 12:10 hey man don't be so discouraged. You know as well as i do that people are going to be people. Not all of us who disagree with you are going to hold it against you. Humanities disagreements is what make life beautiful. I listen to you every day I work and I'd hate to see you fall down my man. I'm sorry I forgot your name but I've been a fan for a while. Your silent majority is still here. Take the hate with a grain of salt friend. We got your back still.😊❤

I appreciate your input, but at times it feels a bit condescending. But meh we’re all entitled to our opinions and I’m still here watching your videos. So keep on doing you.

I'm 50 now, but when I was 18, I said I'm not like other guys to a girl, I got strange response, In my mind I meant I don't cheat, and I'm honest with you, and I'm not going to dump you. She responded with I don't believe you. In other words she figured I was just a male whore, anyways I never said it again. ha-ha. Psychology is funny, isn't it?

Story 1: That story escalated quickly, I didn't expect made-up ex to escalate to a baby abuser.

The way I screamed “HE'S GAY?!" at the end of story 10

I agree with the commenter. Being blindsided by a random kid ON the date…nah. The other person can broach the subject a bit better. But if I’m on a date and find out (by any means) that she has a kid/kids, I’m done. I don’t hate kids, but I don’t want any of my own currently, and don’t want to be a stepdad. It’s my choice. Seeing the date through isn’t going to change that. TLDR: Has kid=deal breaker

Disclaimer: I have no issue with people who are deaf or otherwise being a person with special needs. I myself am a high-functioning person with such myself (I have ASD), for one. Big red flag for me was how mentally immature this one deaf chick was that I was starting a relationship with. She would constantly call my number by accident and then hang up. I was set up with this gal by a mutual friend of ours. Turns out she forgot to mention to said friend she already had a boyfriend back in her home state. This friend if mine and I were furious with her. Never spoke to said deaf chick since; don’t believe I can trust her if she can be that irresponsible.

Lol my dude says “jackbutt” then says “fuckin’ A” (to be clear, I support your cursing). If you’re an adult, cursing isn’t bad, unless it’s a slur 🤷🏻‍♂️

every time Mainly does his outtakes with that buzzing noise, it always makes my stomach clench/drop hard because Ive heard that many times in the time when my pc crashed with bad parts and I keep getting terrified by that buzzing noise that its my pc crashing again ; ^ ;

Why would anyone be mad at you for having the greatest human moment ever?

I liked the ending to this video, hope you are OK

I feel bad for the kid. I know I wouldn't want to be dragged to my parent's date.

No matter what you say we will still love you Mr facts

It’s not a red flag to talk about relationships going sour and abuse history, but it is a red flag to lie about it or make it all up.

Story 23 happened to me with my ex. He told me (a girl, sorta) that if I didn't have time for him, he'd have plenty more fish in his sea waiting for him. So I simply told him to pick one of them then and ended it. After just a day. We had some history prior to that "relationship" already, which... didn't make it better at all. Haven't seen him since, it's been like... almost three years. I don't miss him.

If they're willing to hide their kids away or spring them on you on the first date, I'd be done, even if I wanted to be a parent. If they're comfortable dropping that surprise on you, god knows what else they might be hiding from you. 13:06 That's why I never, ever do meals on the first date. I stick with coffee to minimise the risk of someone trying to scrounge off me.

"I'm tired and I'm stressed and I have a huge headache." -Mainly Fact No truer words have ever been spoken.

The problem I see with not telling about the kid and then bringing it on the first date is the safety of the kid. Like you and your date don’t know each other too well and situation like this would be big surprise for everyone. Imagine if the guys reaction will be screaming or standing up and just leaving. The kid might be traumatised or sad, maybe they didn’t know who their moms meeting and they confused why is stranger screaming or why is mommy sad when the man left. Or maybe they know who they meeting which they might feel guilty about when the response is negative. Idk just build relationships on honest open communication for the safety of your kids.

Bringing a kid along in a first date withiut mentioning anything just shows a complete lack of respect. Its shows that shes thinking 'hey, i can get a free meal out of this for us both, and maybe he'll feel guilty enough to support me for a while." Its not a good idea to give someone a chance when they come out of the gate showing they are there to take full advantage of you and your emotions

10:47 Story 17: The problem I see isn’t that she has a kid, it’s that she didn’t communicate that she had a kid and /brought/ the kid with her without telling him at all and just blind sided him. Communication really goes both ways and she wasn’t honest. She didn’t give him a chance to consider it or not, she didn’t talk about it, she just did it and sprung it on him out of the blue. If you got a lot of flak about your comments when you expressed your opinion before, it’s likely because you only considered her side and not the perspective of the guy in the story. I could be wrong but I view it as her just wanting a free meal for her and her kid because she didn’t consider the guy’s feelings at all. And knowing the dating culture and the strong aversion to single parents, there’s really only one outcome I can see from springing your kid(s) on your first date without communicating about it; not getting a second date. So the reason why I think she just wanted a free meal is because of what you said, “you’re already there.” Since he’s already there and guys are likely to pay… You can see why I, or others, could come to this conclusion.

About the whole "i'm not like other girls" one of my favorite people at my place of work told me the story where she use to say that and man she is embarrassed she did that. But She is still an amazing person!

10:05 slight! if that correction were you correcting your car so it goes strait on the highway and not slightly to the left. you just hit 12 trees to the right of the highway. lol

That ending 😅

24:27 I love your humor so much this had me cracking up so much You're a good sport :) Edit: 25:46 onwards has me laughing so hard

You okay? Take it easy❤.

Hey man, don't let these keyboard warriors get to you.

Poor Mr Facts. Hope you feel better soon.

I have kids and even I fully believe disclosure on at least the first date is pretty much obligatory. Is it a concern the date night run off? Sure. But that is a certain degree of vetting as well. AND because you’re… not… getting rid of the kids……? However, I don’t exactly believe they should be included on the first date unless, perhaps, invited? That’s pretty much the only time it’s really okay. You never know whether your date may be… budgeting? Have certain expectations? And no I don’t even mean doing the deed. Also, the pick me girls don’t necessarily inherently bother me, but it’s definitely perfectly fine to understand just how cringey and demeaning that attitude can be. Also, in my experience that tends to be a precursory sign of the realization that the girl is queer, neurodivergent, or some combination of the like. My red flag? Presumptive behavior and a superiority complex. For sure.

I'd be pretty pissed too if she just went and smoked a blunt without me. I would've joined her without a second thought.

We gonna edit that out LOL

Story 17: my gf didn't tell me of her son's existence until we were a month in. Her reason for not saying something from the start is that she did want to come off as a single mother looking for help

I've only been on a couple dates that I didn't know until I "broke up" with the guy... I'm a dense aromantic idiot who probably will never have a significant other in their life.

Look im not a big fan of being a stepdad so i wouldn't deal with that but in lying about a child and expecting someone to just deal with it is crazy talk to them first lol

Hugs for you all

The way i see the Castlevania story is not him not liking weed its more that she ditched him to smoke with other guys without inviting him or even telling him

Take care of yourself bro, you look so stressed!

To be honest all of my dates has been very horrible, although I can’t deny part of the fault, but buff, between the girl arriving an hour late and not even texting me back, going on another date with this same girl for dinner and her bringing her mother (she was 26 and I was 23 at the time) or another girl just telling me how a boss sexually harassed her and an ex is stalking her, etc on the first date which ended up making me very uncomfortable that I had to finish the date, she then hold my head with her 2 hands and was thinking on kissing me on the lips, but I looked away, but yeah I dont think enjoy going to dates, being demisexual doesn’t really help either

Staying and talking to a person who is blatantly manipulating you is not being polite and understanding. It’s being victimized.

Went on a sort of date with a girl I liked. My other partner was also there and the plan was to hang out and see some live music. The girl met a couple at the coffee bar and they invited all of us over. My partner and I were the only ones over 21, the girl I liked was 20 and the couple she met (but said were her friends) were only 18. They were chain smoking and my first red flag was them trying to pressure us to buy them alcohol. After quite a bit of back and forth they finally gave up. Then the girl we showed up with went off to the bedroom with these people and started having sex with them leaving my partner and I sitting alone in the living room. It took us about 10 min to decide it was time to leave. Left her there with them. She text the next morning pissed that we left her with strangers and her phone was dead. Yet she told us they were her friends and she was sleeping with them... never heard from her again.

Castlevania guy has his priorities straight.

Love the ending 🤣

GENARIC ANGRY COMMET AT THE RU-vid MAN FOR NOT BEING PERFECT AND SAYING EXACTLY WHAT I THINK!!!! Seriously he's a voice actor, not a therapist. Take it with a grain of salt.

First comment Love your videos

I think it was less about the blunt, and more about the fact she ditched OP in the middle of a date to smoke said blunt with other people, which is rude. Castlevania is a better choice.

I sincerely hope you are okay. Not that I hated hearing you curse but you seemed really upset there at the end. Just gonna say I care about you and hope you are taking care of yourself. Much love, Mainly Fact Dude.

Man I don't think that anything would make me be "open minded" about going on a date with a person who didn't say they had a kid...then brought them along. If you think someone wouldn't have gone on the date with the information what make you think hiding it is a better option? If kids are a hard no for someone what can be gained by trying to trick them into liking you in the hopes you'll be able to get them to begrudgingly be ok with your kid? Sounds awful for everyone

I think your voice to text keeps crashing for one of the following reasons: 1. Your GPU is outdated and needs to be upgraded. 2. You are running out of temporary memory(RAM) and need to add some more to your PC. 3. Your computer needs to be updated(windows update). 4. The firmware on your computer needs to be updated(dell-supportassist, lenovo-lenovo vantage, etc)