I understand the marriage was over, and both parties agreed; however, him choosing to marry the best friend confirms the stigma associated with opposite sec friendships. Affairs don't begin in the bedroom, and although an affair is not part of their story, it further confirms that an emotional connection to someone combined with history can be a recipe. Only those involved in the cooking can determine what their recipe will turn into...a recipe for disaster or success. I wish him as much success in his personal life as he's had in his career.
Месяц назад
Agreed. Boundaries. This goes for CLIENTS as well. Clients should stay clients they’re not your friends and you shouldn’t vent to them about your relationship problems.
Which is why I don't date women with close friendships with men. Sometimes there are fires 🔥 burning that you are completely unaware of. Why take the chance of being blindsided years down the road
No man or woman is an island. We all come into contact with other people. He isn’t blind and deaf so of course you form relationships and friendships. From that pool you can find a good partner.
We need a new paradigm for marriage. The present model is incompatible with our current life span , family structure , and life style. This Eurocentric , often Abrahamic religious model emerged from a time when most humans didn’t live past 40. To commit to a union until death would often involve being married no more than 20 to 25 year. There were also other considerations, with the primary motivating factor being economics. Marriage was more than a union between a man and a woman, it was a uniting to two extended families. Life is dynamic, and change is a powerful constant. When couples marry, at an early age, both parties grow and change overtime. When children are involved , they become the primary focus, as well as a powerful uniting force , within the family. Couples often lose focus of their marriage while raising their children. Often, it is not until the children grow up, and leave home, that the married couple , refocus on their relationship, only to find that they have very little in common and have outgrown their marriage. Empty nest divorces have increased , over the years, from 10% to 25% .
@@baderinwa1Life expectancy was only so low back then due to so many child deaths. It was very common for a single family to lose multiple children in childhood. Old people have always existed, they just had to survive childhood first. Something to note is that many men were able to marry over and over again because women also frequently died during childbirth. Their widowers would then almost immediately find a new "mother" for the baby (if it lived) and there was a chance she'd die the same way shortly thereafter. Nowadays, just be nonmonogamous and avoid marriage if that's what you want. You can even decide to simply date forever. Who's stopping you? Marriage is not a requirement. However, those that do desire monogamy and marriage are equally valid and no one from either camp should have to bend to the will of the other. Everyone should stick to the people who want them in the way they want to be wanted.
No matter how many eloquent words are put on this, two people growing apart are two people that refused to grow together. I cant help but believe the emotional affair he had with his "best friend" definitely helped widen the chasm that already existed between them. This is really sad.
Exactly. People have to Start being very intentional about asking God before choosing their partner for marriage. Any Divorce outside of Sexual Immortality or Abuse is not excused. Be Intentional and do the Work to keep your marriage alive‼️ In Luke 16:18, Jesus states, "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery." This statement underscores the sanctity of marriage and the seriousness of divorce. Jesus provides a more detailed explanation in Matthew 19:9, where He introduces the "exception clause": "And I say to you; whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."
Life happens and people move on. No matter what he said, some one will find a fault in it. Their happiness apart is more important than their misery together.
This was such a great episode!! Blair Underwood has always been very clean, classy and regal!! Definitely the definition of strong yet reserved masculinity!!
This was a great interview that offered insight from a male's perspective of the journey of separation and divorce. We are used to hearing the female's perspective, but this presented a well-articulated view from the lens of men. Gentlemen, kudos to you for asking the hard questions with integrity to help others grow and understand. I am coming out of an 18-year marriage, and it made me consider how my ex-husband may feel on some issues.
In the 90s, the top 3 best looking actors for me were Blair Underwood, Lorenz Tate, Denzel Washington. Blair has been #1 for me the last few years! They are also my top favorite actors along with Morgan Freeman. Blair Underwood has never had the credit he deserves....he is an AMAZING actor.
Don't answer this ridiculous question. We, as a race of people, have no business rating another person on a ridiculous imaginary looks scale. God don't make ugly and he tells us not to judge others. We all have a particular type. Just because someone isn't exactly my type, doesn't mean they are unattractive. Morris Chestnut and Michael B. Jordan don't do a thing for me; but other's think they are highly attractive. Looks aren't everything. Focus on something else instead of an imaginary scale created to make some people feel bad about themselves.
(44:00) He said the break up began (mentally) when he start doing plays in New York while his family was still in LA. I always say that if you cant be home for dinner 99% of the time to communicate with your family then complacency will slip in.
I actually understand where he’s coming from. I’ve seen this scenario play out in my own family. They knew each other before they each went off and got married. They ended up marrying and were married another 35 years. I can appreciate him honoring the marriage and raising his children. I have no judgment in this situation, only a desire to understand his perspective.
The people that are saying "HE LOOKS HAPPY" aren't looking at his soul!💔 Dressing up and having a "new hairline" is what's masking his DEEP inner struggle. He's not happy, and the new wife "going everywhere with him" sounds like she is already insecure based on how she got him. Theyre always great/peaceful on the side but then you get the EVERDAY lady, you ran from in the previous union. None of their consciouses are sitting well, theres dis-ease in the union.🚫🚻⛔️ He's a great actor, but you can't out-perform what I can sense on a spiritual level. Wish the Ex-wife PEACE & EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!🙏🏾🥀
I love Blair as an Actor and he is good looking but I will not be gas lighted by this fine man😂😂😂. No sir. No but for real, I wish he kept this part of his life private because I kinda see him different. For some reason it don’t sit well.
Marriages end for many different reasons. People change, they grow, and sometimes fall out of love. If one party in the relationship has lost interest, you cannot force them to be with you. Divorce, like other losses in life, can be very painful. We must give ourselves time to mourn the loss, heal , then move forward.
Blair has put forth a great body of work and achieved many milestones. He is a very talented actor and also a great Producer. I expect his future to still look bright. ("Ain't it great!")
Sounds to me like he has nothing but disdain for his ex-wife. this man is literally broadcasting to the entire world that he's been in love with his current wife since they were kids. for whatever reason their lives went in separate directions, but you see he always kept the current wife close. The worst way to cheat on your spouse is to be emotionally attached to another woman. if your spouse wasn't your best friend, you never loved her. she was nothing but a mere placeholder until the timing was right for him and his new wife. when you're emotionally attached to another woman, to the point wher they're a part of your family, you have absolutely no respect for your marriage, your kids, or yourself. Godparents to each other's kids. Unbelievable. sorry I just can't be a fan anymore. The disrespect is just too much. There is no reason for him to continually go on about how they've been best friends all these years. that's nothing we really need to know. and to rub it in people's faces like that. Every time he speaks on this topic he is slapping his ex-wife, no spitting in his ex-wife's face. one day hopefully he'll realize that. It is impossible to grow with your spouse when they're in love with someone else. I assume he thinks admitting it is clearing his conscience. I always knew he had a mean streak because he plays the mean characters so convincingly. There is no reason he needs to continually go on and on about this, other than he continually needs to hurt his ex-wife. Everybody needs a scapegoat when they're unhappy. He must have been hella miserable waiting for his current wife to be available. I'm glad he's finally happy.
Did you notice that he mentioned that he had a call/conversation with the kids (and their response) but NEVER mentioned how the call with their ex-spouses went?!... One thing I noticed is that he's trying NOT to lie too much publicly, so instead he omits information or simply gives a very well crafted statement, that he's already decided from a PR perspective how he'll answer and make see natural. The ex-spouses ARE NOT in agreement with this union...nor are the two in the union. You don't have peace of mind or peace in marriage when you make moves like this!
I agree with you 100%! I pray for healing for Blairs ex-wife. Blair treated his ex-wife like his worst enemy! And, the current wife, SMH! How can either of them truly be happy???
I’ve seen so many women waste their lives and time and eggs for a man for him to basically act as if you never meant anything to him. I’ve lived it as well. To be told he loves someone else after a long marriage is devastating.
More proof that she’s just a friend is a bunch of bs. That woman was lying in . wait. It’s hard to love on your wife when your bestie is saying and doing everything right.. being the ultimate cheerleader, supporter and peace while surfboarding. Smh
This Blair Underwood interview was emotional, educational, and entertaining! Most importantly, it was transparent! His Sidney Poitier story of having the honor to meet him on the plane and receiving his book entitled, "The Measure Of A Man: A Spiritual Autobiography", was beautiful! Speaking of Sidney Poitier, I had the privilege to find and purchase his masterpiece book at Goodwill! So looking forward to putting his book in my future home library! Nice & Neat The Podcast, continue to beautifully shine! Your platform is amazing!
he must have meant Sidney's first autobiography called This Life which was published in 1980. Because he said he was going to LA for an audition for LA Law (1987). Measure of a Man was published in 2000 and Blair definitely knew Sidney way before that year.
Great interview @Nice & Neat Podcast. I've been a fan of Blair Underwood since the mid 80s when he was 1st introduced to the world on the TV series L.A. Law. He's also a great author and co- author. I also admire he has sustained a successful career without compromising himself onscreen in the roles he takes. It's unfortunate that his 1st marriage didn't last. However, I respect how he honors himself, his family, ex- wife and his current wife/best friend. Blessings to him and his current and future endeavors.
Hello gentlemen! I grew up in the hood and it was a lot like the environment depicted in 'Set It Off.' This movie took me on an emotional roller coaster. As well written as it was, I, to this day have a hard time watching it again. I waited about ten years before I watched it again. I felt as though I knew all the main characters because I knew people so similar to them in my neighborhood. Lastly, it is so refreshing to hear black men sitting and talking and not being afraid to express terms of endearment toward one another...love it!!!
If you can get into a relationship with your BFF then marriage after a divorce then they where always interested in each other.... SMH 🤦🏾♀️ I feel very sorry for his ex wife. Imagine this friend of his was always round , his ex wife might of built a friendship with her... this is crazy...
Yea. That's why when a lady tells me that she has a great male friend for years I kindly excuse myself from the dinner table. Too risky, don't want to be blindsided years down the road
So i'm listening to this as a 27 y/o wife (i'm a black woman as well). Blair said "what do you do with it, how do you respond to it?" "What do you do with something that could be an attraction or test?" You FLEE as The Lord instructs men to. Temptations and sin come as tests to see if we resort to or retreat back to God's word and values. This is beautiful bullshit to say the least, it seems like his heart already knew where it was, but he tried to commit to the marriage as long as possible, also I noticed the emphasis on her looks, remember "beauty is vain and charm is deceitful" (Prov. 31:30), but it really does feel like that old flame still burns kind of situation and I think that's why so many men/women can easily transition to these kinds of relationships/marriages because it feels like a long wait for the "right" time. No, unless there is infidelity or death that first wife/husband is YOUR spouse- you are required and urged to keep it a 3 strand cord. That doesn't mean take abuse nd things like that, but to continue to correct the marriage in Christ for any ways or habits that are not of him. The Lord found a way to give the Israelites grief and grace even though they exhausted all of their mercy with him; then we can stand in marriage and fight through the thick, it's not for us it's for GOD meaning the goal is for us to present one another back to the Lord spotless and in salvation. "Love your wives as Christ loved the Church" and let me tell you the church itself is to be pure, spotless, protected, but as a result of people's own hearts it became stubborn, tarnished, and out of place- the world was AGAINST their marriage because it was so strong; but the Lord LOVES his "bride" (the church) so much that he continued/s to invest his all into her redemption and purity so their marriage could stay as one and stand in TRUTH. You don't let that go even if it may "work" with someone else that's a possibility for anyone, the point is once they are yours they are YOURS. Also, as a man married and of God, you should not be involving yourself in ANY roles that deviate from God's message even if it's a character; theres no open marriage, polyamory, swinging, none of that.
Shut up. Quit acting like everyone who married has done so under the approval of God. If someone married for the wrong reasons and realized that afterwards and there heart is elsewhere, they do have a right to go according to rhetoric desires of their heart. Hopefully they can do this without committing adultery and be honest, but to stay there and know you’re not happy…I’ll be damned.
@@wealth3491 Do you always carry this bitter of a spirit to be so damn rude to someone who you don't even know? Straight weirdo. And yeahhhh, you missed my whole..point...i'm talking about the fact that yes, we can absolutely marry for the wrong reasons, but that's because we are after the desires of our OWN heart. I'm sorry your incompetence and self-inflicted ignorance led you to believe I meant God's way has been everyone's standard. It hasn't been. It's also not everyone's given path to be married! Some people God will keep single. However, if we're going to be married there ARE criteria on BOTH ends. But, the one thing I heard none of was how God was between the choice to leave the old marriage and start a new one. This is actually why marriage should NOT happen until we understand God's reason, because we end up insufficient when things are not in place the way we thought, then we have no source to go to for guidance and by the time we go to God we've exhausted all our options when he should be first. These standards should be taught and represented more and more, but they're not and unfortunately most o us don't listen anyways. Our "happy" and God's happy should be the same, but we put too much trust in flesh and human connection that we end up unfulfilled for the wrong reasons. Now, in the case of abuse, violence, infidelity, things like that- that's different.
I literally smiled throughout this whole interview. I had the opportunity to meet Mr. Underwood once with my dad, such a class act in person and on screen in terms of peoples personal lives that’s their business in terms of his professional career. It has been beautiful to watch and to see how he has stewarded the image of a classy, successful, respectable black man I can only imagine how much sacrifice went into having to turn things down while stewarding very consciously this image.
I respect and 😢love how the kids were most important emotionally throughout the entire transition My Son and His ex wife have done the opposite and my two Grandsons became collateral damage quickly which has been totally heartbreaking 23 years 17 married, my oldest g.s last year of h.s😢grades sports and college aspirations all effected, the 9 year old became troubled its just awful. So many unnecessary decisions that could have been avoided.
Well done interview. I posted my initial comment during the broadcast, but wanted to come back and thank you all for asking in-depth questions that allowed us to see Blair's intelligence and hear his wisdom, off screen. Although, I'm side eyeing the best friend situation, not in an accusatory way, but one that proves caution and boundaries are necessary, I believe this podcast showcased how well-spoken he is. Blair presents himself and his knowledge in a very classy way, as Jalon pointed out. A preferred on-screen talent, with an off-screen pull! Thanks, Nice & Neat! Continued success to you all!
Blair Underwood got me here Subscribed Such a respectable podcast Thank you guys for yout time With so much love respect and support from upstate NY ❤️
Great episode was very enlightening. Glad to know more about Blair Underwood. Didn’t realize I was watching him for years all this time. Ya getting big out here keep it up. 💯
As a woman..this was my first episode...I really enjoyed the interview/conversation. Yes I watch all the way to end! I loved the questions and answers so direct.. yes, Blair us "Classy"..I cried in response to what kids wrote etc. Just had let you guys this eas AWESOME!
Yesss boys👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👑 I’m rooting for yall man!! Yall are jst growing and evolving! I’m sooo happy to see it. I love yall deeply man. Congrats on another milestone episode!!!🎉
Very good interview. I especially LOVE how the Nice & Neat Podcast are so classy. For those of us that are tired of listening to "BROKEN" Grammer and Ghetto speech. You all are decent and orderly.
Great interview! But they made me feel old starting with Set It Off...I still remember him playing Denise Huxtable's boyfriend and his time on L.A. Law. Great actor and incredibly classy gentleman.
Reading the comments, we have to understand how to not be bitter when love has run its course for whatever reason(s). I respect the direction he took overall.
Bitter??? You can't judge folks for not wanting to see their ex-HUSBAND with a CLOSE FRIEND...especially months after the divorce.🙄 It was VERY INSENSITIVE at minimum to do it with a friend THAT FAST. Swap out Blaire for a man you loved deeply and YOUR FRIEND...your views will be radically different. His ex wife has emotions, 27 years worth of attachment and care. Theres millions of women, you don't put your ex wife in an uncomfortable situation like that EVER!! Honestly, it's giving lazy and insecure. He chose whatever was IN PROXIMITY..it's lazy. And the new wife is scared too, hence why "SHE GOES EVERY WHERE HE GOES"👀 Who's following a busy man all around near 70🤦🏾♀️ ....she know he has other long term friends that CAN BE NEXT!!
And that's where DISCIPLINE & INTEGRITY comes in.🚷 If a man's "heart"desires an underage girl or someone else who's still married, should he be intimate with them? NO! It was about a boundary of INTEGRITY that was crossed, and I'm sure the wife was NOT okay with it. His "best friend"/new wife was single 7 YEARS after her divorce(not trying to be disrespectful) but she's not that great or exceptional or should would have BEEN married to someone else after her 1st marriage LONG AGO. He had options and the children's GOD MOTHER should have been off limits. It sounds crazy, saying "you're dating your child's godmother" That means that the lady was ENTRUSTED by the ex-wife. It's not ok, no matter how romantic he OR you tries to paint it.🙄
@@MissHello-bs2nl he respected his marriage and don’t get with her until well after he was married. Wtf are you taking about an under aged child when this isn’t the topic? No need to paint a picture that isn’t present. Regardless, these two divorced adults did wtf they wanted to do!
It's not being bitter. He humiliated his ex-wife, and the current wife contributed. They both better make sure theirs no best friend of the opposite sex hanging around because karma is waiting!
Blair Underwood is such a n amazing iconic actor and heartthrob, I can’t even handle him playing the bad guy! He’s too good at playing bad, it messes me up!!!
This was another great interview. Wishing Blair and his new wife nothing but the best. It is nice to see men who want to give marriage another try. Much blessings to all you men.
And you're right not to trust them! I'm pretty sure he and the current wife flirted and discussed a lot of, what is! F***ING shame the disrespect they both displayed!!!
Oh nooo that’s not where I was coming from with that at all. It would’ve just been nice to hear her share her experience with processing her divorce and getting back out there as I’m sure it’s very different from a woman’s POV. Long time listener. Definitely coming from a mature and respectful place.
@@NiceAndNeatThePodcasthow is hearing the other side perspective messy. Everyone is an adult I’m sure she can express herself just as eloquently and deserves to at that. Stop trying to change the subject by labeling it messy. 🤷🏾♀️
Great interview guys! All of you asked very good questions. Blair Underwood is such a treasure to the world of acting. You can tell that he is very passionate about his craft. He also speaks so lovingly about his family.
Simply Beautiful! Mr. Underwood presents class & that 1 % thug to tug your hair, 🙆🏽♀️always been a fan. Love this interview, he was respectful to all, like he said his divorce was a process long before they shared with the public... I send love health wealth abundance and prosperity, Thank you for sharing your journey with us..✨💛🤍
I’m so curious how he found balance playing bad guy characters and how does it affect mental health if thats not you. Also how to get that character to not spill into personal I feel it’s work life balance must be strong!
Imagine being married to a man for almost 30 years, and he says his female friend who leaves you for is his best friend. Oh, my blood boils. She is older than him, so she probably got married first and waited for him to leave his wife. That is hurt I could not forgive.
Word of advice: Never ask a man where he thinks he ranks in looks when compared to his peers. It is also awkward to ask the audience to rank him while he is the guest. Even if it's in jest, it can be awkward. Each one of you guys still seem positive and welcoming, though :)
I know I’m wrong so I’ll say that right off the bat. I just can’t see this man any other way than like the character he played in that Tyler Perry movie Family Reunion where he was so evil and beat his fiancé. I know that’s just a character and this must mean he did a great job playing that man, but that is who I see when I look at him. I feel like he’s bullshitting all of us! I want to believe what he is saying but I’m just having a really hard time!
