Body Dysmorphia (& Things That Can Help) | Melanie Murphy 

I learned to accept my face in the last 7-8 years, but pictures just break my heart every time and get me spiralling to this f*in day

Same. I literally have no pictures from highschool because of it

I feel you I can't look at mirrors because I hate the way I look. I also can't see my pictures too.

You are not alone. I struggle with the same self-sabotaging beliefs. Have you tried seeing a therapist who can do cognitive behavioral therapy? Medication + CBT will work much better than medication alone. I don’t take medication, but I would have to say that therapy alone helps me enough. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and I hope you find peace.

I haven't tried CBT yet but I think this is not going to help me cause I already have good insight when it comes to BDD. Thank you for this comment though

@@enimalnaide7767 I am in therapy and it does help. Give it a go please. I really hope you can overcome this

@@aishachaudhry4728 It's not something I can do, at least now.

I suffer with the same disorder. If you want, feel free to reach out. I will try to support you ❤

Honestly, same. There are days when is not that hard but others where i spend 30 minutes looking at myself in the mirror and planning all the cosmetic procedures i SHOULD do. Living like this is something i do not wish upon my worst enemy

I relate to this so much. There's always something different to hate about my body - everyday it looks different. Recently, it's been everything about my face :( I've had weeks where I spent hours in the bathroom, poking and adjusting myself in the mirror. I'm better now but it's still lurking with me everywhere I go.

@@ferrarasabrina hi just reading your comment breaks my heart - and also makes me feel less alone I thought I was the only person going through this. Is like hearing my thought thru a different person.🥺 strength and faith to get through this.

it literally feels like a living hell and every second of my life is consumed by it, sometimes im just tired i dont even remember or think ik how to not live like this, crazy too how yea its the exact same thoughts

How are you now ? The mind is a POWERFUL thing ! Praying for you ! I hope you are doing better !? 💖

Thank you so much for this comment. My gf suffers from this and i really want to help her. Ill bring this up to her. Thank you very much

I can't believe I found you here, Violet. Everytime I watch your videos, all I can think about is that I wish I looked like you and how perfect your face is. Kind of ironic.

are wimmen mentally ill or just too hormonal when young?

@@MegaBaddog this disorder effects men too

madmarvin99 umm this affects all people u uneducated male

I feel ugly all the time it's always in my head. I want to tell my therapist this, but I'm scared. And btw my therapist is beautiful then there's me a ugly patient. Many times I've cried because of this. Many people in social media ask me "How do you look like?" And then I come up with some excuse then I feel even more worse and uglier.

Idk.org0 Im sorry u had to go through this. It would be good if should tell your terapist tho cause thats their job to help you remeber that! I have the same problem I feel u. No pressure u can just think about it :).

I failed my oral exam because of this! We had to record our answers in a 10 minute video. Long story short, I cried my eyes out all day and ended up sending my prof an email at 2am, telling her that I was struggling mentally. I cant forget this day.

i’m so sorry, i understand completely and i hope you’re doing better now

@@melisa91995 How are you doing now 💕

@@florivalentina3400 it's a rollercoaster - there are good days and bad ones. But I have taken the first steps for therapy so I guess I'm finally getting the help I need and most importantly deserve 💓

Same, and even worse with my voice, I really feel ashamed how my voice sounds...

cute!! :3

Thats so beautiful!

That's shit m8

Beautiful, your words are beautiful ! 😍😍😍 I'll keep it in my journal as a reminder!

@Zoe K thank you for bringing me back to re-read this and see that it was appreciated :) ♡

this is so fucking true

well actualy thats exactly why im here , i have a gorgeous friend but she thinks that she is ugly and that makes me angry and it shouldnt cuz she is suffering from an awful disease

She average

@@mohammadmehdinasiri8905 Me too I had a friend like that, she would wear baggy clothes and all. I asked her, ''do you think I'm fat?'' She said no, then I told her (because she kept telling me her thighs were big), ''your thighs are the same size as mine'', and we actually mesured it and it was around the same size.

Exactly - I was about to say. She is so pretty and when she wrote the diary she was pretty as well. This shows that BDD can happen to anyone and its something so many people struggle with. Some people think 'Oh no, she couldn't of had BDD' or something like that but it can literally happen to ANYONE and I think more people need to be aware of that. You are so strong Melanie ❤️

Hope you can go through this tough time

I wish you can recover from this mental illness . I only suggest you get a therapist and talk. Thats the only solution I can think off. And avoid social apps like tiktok and Instagram.

I feel you :((((

andrea Summers youre not alone. so am i.

Same I thought it was normal to look in the mirror for more than an hour a day.

🌹Stay strong, you're not alone. I've heard people with BDD say it helps to try to focus on what your body does rather than what it looks like. If you have healthy lungs, ears that can hear, eyes that can see, working sweatglands, a musculoskeletal system that walks? These things were all left to chance, and if your body is in working order that is something to celebrate and concentrate on! You're here for a reason, and that reason is not simply to be beautiful like a lifeless decoration.

@@Cinnamon455 thank you :)

I ask myself why all the time. Why me

Do you want to be friends?

Me too it destroyed my life

Sure 🫠

Relate 😢

In particular with the intersection of BDD and EDs, it's funny how so many of us were "at our smallest" when we felt the worst about ourselves. It's very telling and sad. I'm still struggling to learn the difference between wanting to lose weight to feel and look better in a healthy way, versus because I hate myself and am using food restriction as a misguided form of control. I'm glad that teenagers now have people like Melanie to look to for support and an introduction to a problem they may not even be aware they have.

I totally agree with you, I never even realised I had BDD fully until I watched this video and now I realise I had it for many years of my life. I seemed to think how I felt was normal for my age but it really wasn't!

I had the same experience! Your video just made me realize! Mine was connected with a history of anorexia, I don't know which one came first. I thought it was normal to be like that, wen you are in your teens. Constant checking your body, scratching your skin open, and the thoughts! It totally takes over your life, you can not think about anything productive or positive :( maybe also a way to cope with stress?

TriTri how did you overcome it?? I'm like how you described and I just realized I have BDD and I want to change so bad

Aria Targaryen As I got older I naturally got more confident, especially moving out of home and having to be an adult helped me gain confidence. Another thing was realising what matters in life is experiences and happiness, looks are fleeting and don't last and at the end of the day no one actually cares about your weight same way we don't look at other people and over analyse their bodies. Everyone is too busy worrying about their own problems to be thinking about how you look. I also didn't want to waste anymore time thinking about it, crying, staring in the mirror and tearing myself apart, life is short and there is so much more you could be doing. It was a long process of a good few years to overcome it, it won't happen overnight but all of these things helped me overcome it :) Of course I still have unconfident days where I feel I look terrible and say i'm fat etc but it's not every day now. Good luck trying to change! The first step to change is realising you want to :) Hope this was helpful!

Love you so much babe!

Hope you are doing better these days.

update ussss ❤️

That emoji girl i relate so much 💕💕 ur not alone

+warriorcatEDITS stay strong x

That emoji girl I feel exactly the same :/

Hana Owens It'll get better x

i want to talk to you

Sorry ,darling 😔

same

you re an inspiration 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Boughattas Rayen that's so lovely of you to say ❤️ thank you so much

Eve Rose At 15 I never could have admitted this stuff even on the internet. I know I'm a stranger and it doesn't matter but I'm proud of you and your efforts. You are amazing. I also dislike my stomach and that under arm flab that sooo many women get. These two things have been my biggest concerns about my body since I was in the third grade. Eight years old and I was wearing sweaters in the blazing heat because I was so ashamed of my body! I'm 25 now and thankfully far more comfortable with my body but it takes so much time to get there and I've never put in the amount of dedicated effort it seems you have. Please do take care of yourself. Please do not obsess over the perceived flaws of your body and find the things you love most, work toward a healthier and happier you and please please please be sure to keep your doctor informed. Your health is extremely important. I'm sorry if this comment is too long or nosy but what you said resonated with me. I wish you well. 💜

JessicaElric thank you so, so, so much. Your comment means a lot to me, and I'm glad to know that there's proof that things will be alright ❤️ I'm trying my hardest and I'm believing more and more that one day (one day soon) I will look in the mirror and not just be content with what I see, but love myself, whatever I look like. I hope you have a wonderful day!

I started by looking in the mirror a couple times throughout the week and picking something I liked that day. Often for me it would be my cheekbones or my eye shape but doing that little thing really helped me. Now when I'm feeling down I can remind myself that I'm really proud of my cheekbones if nothing else. It's a slow process to body confidence but I believe you'll get there. I hope you have a wonderful day too.

and thank you also for sharing something so personal with us! xxx

How are you now?

i want to talk to you

I know this feeling. I know this strange but i find contentment I’m not alone in this.

S😢😢😢

Vanessa_ JZ - I posted this earlier today on another bdd video, so figured I’d copy and paste it for you. I’ve got bdd, ocd, depersonalization, derealisation. I’m not ashamed in the slightest. It’s not a weakness ( if anything it will make you stronger and more resilient than you ever would have been if life just went perfect in a little happy bubble ) They developed when I was in my early twenties in my first year of college when my male pattern baldness first became noticeable, I’m now thirty and I still have these debilitating ( if you allow ) conditions. You will have them for life if you have them. They can become virtually non-existent when you address the cognitive issue and do the right things making sure to stay disciplined. But they can always come back if you go back to wreckless behavior/habits as your brain is wired that way. It’s up to you how much the condition grows or stays in remission. They all seem to go hand in hand. Sleep and exercise is absolutely imperative. How long you sleep and the quality is especially significant. For instance; I had a really bad day today. Spaced out. OCD, groggyness, numbness, depression, etc. all this is due to the fact that I over slept by about 3 hours to what I normally would. I literally emerged from bed a different person. Cannot stress enough just how important the right amount of sleep is for those suffering with these chronic cognitive conditions which drastically affect perception and how your brain processes images. I recommend less than eight hours. 6 - 7 is ideal. I really feel after suffering with these chronic conditions for over 9 years, that SLEEP - is without a doubt the single most important aspect to feeling good again. After that comes diet and exercise. Obviously fresh air, socializing, goals etc; But without the sleep aspect being maintained, you can forget about anything else working. Nothing you do will work unless your sleeping patterns/circadian rhythms are correct. Take it from me, two days ago I was myself, full of confidence and energy. All it took was one night staying up to long and sleeping in too long to throw everything else out of balance. You really have to be relentlessly disciplined with your sleep. I’m still learning this the hard way 9 years later. I have awful sleep habits. Don’t be like me. Don’t let those habits develop. Stamp them out and fix your fucking sleep as it’s 100% connected to your cognitive functionality. You need to own it and take control, you need to learn to recognize it when it starts. You must become a professional at diagnosing yourself. You must become like the Facebook algorithms - nothing slips by you and when it starts you notice immediately and take your control back. Over time this will become second nature and you will be like a fucking machine, trust me. I’ve been suicidal in the past and had episodes so bad I was hospitalized. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You will learn that the condition is similar to a spoiled brat. The more you spoil ( feed your compulsions ) the more power you give it. Give it no credit and ignore it - no matter how much it kicks and screams like a little brat to get its way, remember you are the rational adult. You are in charge 😉 Good luck in your recovery 👌

if they think it is attention seeking then they won't help even when they'll come to know that you're actually now

i’m here for you! stay strong girl/boy you’re doing great. it’s really hard but we’ll get through it, one da

@@samanthatran8835 Thank you so much

literally same. it's my face mostly. then my arms & stomach especially. pain.

I can relate to this so much. Litteraly nothing helps and I wish there was a switch to just put off having bdd.

You have a boyfriend that’s proof that you’re physically desirable.

Omg , I go through the Samething..also with my bf and can’t look him in the eye or when it’s that intimate time it feels weird and I hate I’m that way.🙏🏽🤍

Sameeeeeee lmao but I can Alr tell ur gorgggg asfff I have body and facial dysmorphia and it sucks alottt because even tho it may not be true ( hopefully it is tho ) most ppl compliment me online and tell me I look “ adorable “ “ beautiful “ and it melts my heart because as a trans girl getting misgendered all the time and shamed for being underweight causs I’ve had an ED since 14 and still recovering ppl Jus don know when to stop I go out in summer in jeans , and a sweater and my mom is always like “ too hot for that take it off “ and I’m like “ hell no “ and sometimes I even stay in the bathroom for hours looking at my face seeing how weird it looks and I start crying for a longg long time . Like it’s rlly a serious illness and it tires. Ppl out

Also please do the video about fake friends

I m 36 and have same story as yours.unfortunately whole world thinks its all in my head and i m at fault

Infact Melanie, when I was at the lowest point I sent you a huge dm on instagram very similar to the letter you read at the start. Reading back on it now it hurts to see how much pain I was in.

Leah HUGS! 💘

P.S. I'm in Gloucestershire, UK x

Hana Mahmoud aww Hana, I'm a subbie and dw habibti- were in this together. Xoxo💖❄️🐋

Gloucestershire! - me too!

p.s. I've never had BDD, but I think social media pressures these days definitely give rise to unachievable body expectations. I think you are bloody gorgeous and although I'm sure you still grapple (is that even a word?!) with body issues, I'm so glad through awareness you could overcome some of your insecurites. I really look up to you in terms of confidence!

i am in sweden gothenburg:)

Rachel P I have the same problem and it's ruining my life

looked gorgeous as well:D

Tears streaming down my face by the end💔

I especially relate to feeling anxious in public because I feel like I don’t look okay or I think people think I look weird. And there are days too where I want to stay in bed with baggy clothes on.

madison chris oh my god I'm the exact same with my nose!! I've been looking through the comments for someone talking about this regarding their nose. I absolutely hate it and it's because I too feel like it way too big for my face and it has a bump. I feel like every single person on TV, on social media, in magazines, they all have small or proportional noses, and it makes me feel like utter shit! I constantly think about how my nose looks to others and I take pictures of it everyday just to make myself feel shit because I know I hate it. It's sadly nice to know someone relates to that I guess