How are you feeling? Given the subject of this book, it's a reasonable question. I may ask it more than once before we're through. In theory, given that it's something we're asked so often in one form or another, that should make it the easiest question ever, instead of the hardest - depending on how honest we're going to be when we answer.
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Human relationships are infinitely complex because we ourselves are, but the basic dynamic is rather simple: approach or avoid. We tell people to come closer or we tell them to back off. People communicate the same thing to us. (pg 35)
When we need emotional support most is when we're least likely to receive it. (pg 37)
"Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If 'needy' was a turn-on?" (pg 38)
These assessments are mostly concerned with self-control, trustworthiness, conscientiousness, adaptability, teamwork ability, the ability to influence others, and inspirational leadership. (pg 57)
Will they know how to use their creativity to push beyond boredom and not surrender to it? (pg 63)
Mindful Breathing: Research suggests that just fifteen minutes of this practice daily can positively affect our attunement to family and friends, emotional reactivity, attention, memory, immune function, hypertension, asthma, autonomic nervous system imbalances, and mental health. (pg 149)
Emotion at Home:
So, what's your reputation at home? And what did you do (or fail to do) to deserve it? (pg 180)
How do you want your children to talk about you when they're older and looking back? (pg 180)
There's another tool we can try that usually succeeds in groups where emotion skills are valued: a charter. This is a written document or pact that details how everybody in your home wishes to feel... (pg 181)
Behavior is the symptom, it's not the emotion (pg 185)
Emotions at School:
If we want children to flourish, we have to begin taking care of our teachers (pg 191)
David Brooks, the New York Times columnist, wrote that once, when he was teaching a college course, he announced to his class that he had to cancel office hours to deal with some unspecified "personal issues". Ten or fifteen students emailed him to say he was in their thoughts and prayers. For the rest of the term he wrote:
"The tenor of the seminar was different. We were closer. That one tiny whiff of vulnerability meant that I wasn't aloof Professor Brooks, I was just another schmo trying to get through life. That unplanned moment illustrated for me the connection between emotional relationships and learning" (pg 194)
The presence of emotionally intelligent leaders also makes a difference (pg 203)
Leaders, teachers, and staff go through the same process. Typically, they'll say they wish to feel more valued, appreciated, inspired, connected, and supported. Many of their desired emotions are the same ones named by students. (pg 207)
I explained how only 42 percent of top employers believe new graduates are adequately prepared for the workforce, especially with respect to social and emotional skills (pg 215)
..it's not a high IQ that gets you places (pg 215)
Emotions at Work
But emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace - as they are in every human endeavor (pg 219)
If the people in charge are not drawing on their emotional intelligence in how they convey themselves and manage others, who will? (pg 224)
Many managers still don't get it - that the bottom line depends on a workforce that's motivated, energized, and committed to a common goal (pg 224)
About 50 percent of workers used the words stressed, frustrated, or overwhelmed to describe their feelings at work.
About a third of workers indicated that they felt happy or proud less than 50 percent of the time they are at work.
Are you comfortable expressing your authentic emotions at work? (pg 228)
I had to learn to operate with less authority and more humanity. (pg 230)
No doubt emotional intelligence is more rare than book smarts, but my experience says it is actually more important in the making of a leader. You just can't ignore it. (pg 231)
Inspiration, respect, and happiness are about 50 percent higher, and frustration, anger, and stress are 30 to 40 percent lower when there is a supervisor with strong emotion skills. (pg 232)
3 июл 2020
