Brain expert on the biggest parenting mistakes, divorce & spanking | Ep. 64

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Brain expert Dr. Daniel Amen provides parenting advice to Matt & Abby, discussing the biggest parenting mistakes, the effects of divorce on a child's mind, and the problems with spanking.
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Chapters:
00:00 - Episode 64
03:28 - Solving your kid's problems can actually hurt them
14:20 - Video games are ruining child brain development
25:10 - There's no such thing as everything in moderation
37:14 - The No. 1 rule to parenting
38:14 - What to do when your toddler throws a tantrum
45:51 - We married before our brains were fully developed
56:41 - Why you should never spank children
1:00:54 - Is it possible to over-praise a child?
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Опубликовано:

22 май 2024

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Комментарии : 740

@karengilbert5051 29 дней назад

I'm reminded of something Dr. Mike once said, if they're speaking in absolutes and saying they're an expert, you should think critically about following their advice. True experts often say "it depends" or "I don't know". Fear mongering is a valuable marketing tool, but not often based in a sustainable, scientific framework.

@pinjahuju193 29 дней назад

This is a great point! I also think he has good points but they seem a little too black and white and simplistic. Good to stay critical :)

@maryanne.sanders 29 дней назад

Yes! Speaking in absolutes sell books. (Think Dave Ramsey) but true humility and having a willingness to continue to learn leaves a lot of room for nuance.

@sarahnoelhutchinson6154 29 дней назад

Yes yes yes 100% Thank you for saying this!!! And not to tout Dr. Mike as the expert who knows no wrong, but that is the case here I’m afraid!

@alican5695 29 дней назад

I agree and would love to know how many kids this man has raised himself….

@The.Caroline 29 дней назад

@@pinjahuju193 This is exactly what I was going to comment - he's too black and white in my opinion, but he does say a lot of good things too. For example the thing about "special time" and seeing your kids, spending time with them, being there stands out to me. My parents never came to watch my after school activities, but they did with my brothers, and it's always been a sore subject for me and something I've brought up to them. It stands out as one of the biggest things I feel like I missed in my childhood.

@leisaann 29 дней назад

So many people dislike this one. Listen, take what you want, and leave what doesn't work for your family. Bottom line, thinking how to and trying to be better parents will always be better for our kids than staying stagnant.

@Backpackguy12 28 дней назад

People are allowed to criticize :)

@angelareneef 27 дней назад

⁠@@Backpackguy12exactly… and so is she :) Truthfully though… this is just critical thinking and spot on. Thank you, @leisaann. Eat the fish, spit out the bones.

@taliagalaviz5628 16 дней назад

This! Dr amen is great and has proof to back up what he is saying. AND that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. I’m a fan of Dr amen. I have compared his studies to other gut and brain doctors, it’s very similar if not the same. If we do the research into what we’re hearing and find those similarities, being able to judge or criticize someone’s work is easier. You find what’s worth listening to and what’s not. It takes more than one episode to learn about a Dr and where they are coming from.

@juliennebringhurst 28 дней назад

A little tip for the “don’t tell kids that they’re smart” instead, let them know that they’ve worked hard! Praise them for how hard they work and the effort that they put into things! They will build their self esteem based on how hard of a worker they are rather than how smart they are.

@juliennebringhurst 28 дней назад

The consequence for telling them that they are “smart” is if they feel like they can’t live up to being smart in a certain situation, they will give up trying to find the answers. They will feel like that they always have to get the correct answer rather than working to get the correct answer.

@Anna-1937 26 дней назад

Exactly! I wasn’t really encouraged as a child, but I also wasn’t treated like I was stupid. My attitude has changed a lot since then, and I’m now doing a degree.

@RachelHennessey-cc9it 15 дней назад

👏👏👏

@readthefineprint9914 29 дней назад

On the tantrums... My son is 2 years & 10 months. If he starts freaking out and throwing a tantrum, I always say, "I love you, and crying will not get you what you want." It's worked wonderdully!

@nattylite9220 28 дней назад

My son just turned 3 March 24th and they’re only getting worse 😭 I stay firm and don’t give in but he just doesn’t. Care.

@jodijohnson23 28 дней назад

I do think that if you say, if you have a tantrum the answer is no, and sticking with it. That’s great. But being a parent is hard. No doubt about that. And every kid is different.

@Lunchlady806 25 дней назад

On the tantrums I do not agree with him our kids are all grown in there 30s and we spanked them and they had manners and they knew if they misbehaved what was going to happen. We meant what we said but our kids didn’t have internet or phones and I’m glad they played outside and watched cartoons. Our kids turned out great so what he’s saying isn’t a set in stone way to raise kids and we told our kids they were smart and could do anything they set there minds too and they did , we supported them in what they wanted to do and are there for them always .

@melissaalexander6736 25 дней назад

I literally took my son no where from 3 to almost 4 years old. It was a 9- 10 month timeframe where I didn’t go to restaurants and we didn’t go shopping. Everything was online or pickup. And then one day the tantrums ended. It was so weird. I guess his brain was just really working overtime at development. I was lucky though because I didn’t HAVE to take him anywhere. 3’s were a rough time in our house!

@user-ok7mx9sc9y 22 дня назад

@@nattylite9220 I have 6 younger siblings and we call them twonagers and three agers 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@user-bx8oe7zk2z 29 дней назад

Speech Pathologist here. Ms Rachel is not a speech pathologist. I know she is entertaining but you as parents can and should implement the same strategies that she uses. Just play with your child, interact with them and talk about what you are doing and what they are doing. Sing, do fingerplays, just have fun!

@sarahnoelhutchinson6154 29 дней назад

YES! From a fellow SLP, THANK YOU!

@kaitlynianni5027 29 дней назад

Yes!!! 👍🏼

@sidneylang8236 29 дней назад

Thank you I was like what the heck

@HelloMoto_ 28 дней назад

Thank you!!!! I personally think it’s sad to sit a child in front of the tv and have someone else explain things to them, or entertain them, or teach them x, y, z. I could understand in a teenager or maybe after 7-8 y/o. But earlier it is sooo important that we take that responsibility and sit down and talk to our kids, and play with them, and teach them. We are the parents after all not Ms. Rachel or an app on the iPad. Maybe for 30 minutes a day if you really need to but more than that just seems like you are letting someone else do the parenting… and honestly I’ve seen the difference between kids sitting down watching whoever and a kid who’s parent actually speaks to them, and worlds different!

@sineadyoutube 28 дней назад

Yup! My daughter is only 19 months and she knows so many words. We don’t have a tv and I rarely do screen time (and only for like 10 mins max). But we just read and read so much!

@Mrs.Butterworth 29 дней назад

Tell your kids they are smart. I told both of my daughters they are smart, and they believed me. One has her PhD in chemistry, and the other is heading to law school in the fall. My parents never told me I was smart, and I believed I wasn't.

@ab91922 29 дней назад

Yeah I saw the short before the podcast was posted of him saying not to tell your kids they’re smart and regardless of context that’s a statement I cannot agree with.

@alyshab4495 29 дней назад

The idea is based on The Growth Mindset by Andrew Thomas. The idea is that if you tell them they’re smart it becomes a part of their identity and they develop a fear of failure and seeming “not smart” so they don’t try things they think they won’t be good at. That is a very rough summary, I would recommend the book to read if you’re more curious about it. Obviously you can tell them they’re smart but you should more praise their hard work and effort because everyone can get smarter or better at anything they put their mind to, even if it is difficult for them at first.

@victoria-np2my 28 дней назад

I am not trying to be disrespectful but you’re clearly not educated on child psychology. Anyone who has taken a child psychology class or even a developmental psychology class knows that this is true. I grew up with my parents constantly praising how smart I was but never the amount of work and dedication I put into things. I know my comment will not persuade you but I really encourage you to do some research about this topic. I was shocked and sort of defensive the first time I heard it too, but it really has so much research to back it up. I do agree that this doctor was not the best at explaining some of these concepts, but he is correct.

@lindseycannon4968 28 дней назад

Words are powerful or the lack of….

@lolsaXx 28 дней назад

Help show your kids they are smart.

@erinnicolesullivan 28 дней назад

MISS RACHEL IS NOT A SPEECH LANGUAGE PATHOLOGIST! Pediatric occupational therapist here. She DOES know a lot about speech, has many really great tips, and makes nice videos for parents to help teach about how our kids learn to communicate. Just know that she is not a licensed professional of speech AND even as her videos as quality, it doesn’t make watching them great for your kids. If they’re watching her occasionally, all good, but I really recommend you watch too and take what you learn to communicate better with your kids in real life! Real life is where we learn our most functional communication skills

@laurao8099 19 дней назад

Yes, her degree is in music education she is currently going to college for early childhood education

@ashleyp4513 29 дней назад

"Don't tell your kids they're smart." That is a fine line. I think it depends on the child and the circumstance. You don't want your child to be prideful and grow up to be arrogant thinking they are smarter than everyone else. You want them to be humble. My first kid is on the autism spectrum and I do tell her she's smart. She is and she is the type of kid who needs reassurance and encouragement. My second kid on the otherhand, I tell him things like, "Wow! That was a great idea!" or "Great job!" He has a different personality. Everyone is different.

@christelbremer657 29 дней назад

Dr Ben Carson believed he was the stupidest kid in his class. Buf his mom always told hom he was smart, very smart. She got him go read books and stop watching t.v. Eventually he wanted to live up to his mom's belief in him.

@mckenziecameron2514 29 дней назад

Dr.Amen doesn’t say this because he thinks it will give children a big ego. It’s actually the opposite. His argument is that when children perform well and you tell them they are smart, they think they did well because they are intelligent. So then when they don’t do well later on, they can come to the conclusion “oh I guess I’m not as smart as my parents thought.” Instead, he says to compliment their effort so that the child learns that working hard is the important part, not the final result.

@coffeecake1803 29 дней назад

How about just saying ‘you made a good decision’

@izahhhhh 29 дней назад

I think he is primarily referring to neurotypical children, because the circumstances of course differ when a child's brain has different needs.

@zoepeters3826 29 дней назад

@@izahhhhhI don’t think so, he mentions a nephew with tourette syndrome and a daughter with attention deficit disorder. So he sounds fairly familiar with neuro conditions.

@amykristic2980 29 дней назад

Take a shot every time the doc says "I wrote a book". 😂

@Sav1010 27 дней назад

Or “I did a study” or “I scanned the brains of..” 😂😂😂

@Pulleyloadedmom 27 дней назад

lol marketing

@nans7514 25 дней назад

Shoot if I studied as hard as him I would too😂

@xavthomas 24 дня назад

He's promoting the book. That's why he's on the podcast.

@wellhavenco 29 дней назад

barely even watched more than a couple of minutes, but his POSTURE. oh man. spine health is important, too.

@wellhavenco 29 дней назад

actually, I really enjoyed this episode. :') lots of interesting information.

@zoepeters3826 29 дней назад

@@wellhavencoI did too!

@emilypearson14 28 дней назад

was thinking the same thing!!!

@marycelalopez 27 дней назад

Crossed my mind tbh

@xavthomas 24 дня назад

Yes! He's compressing his lungs and getting less oxygen to his brain!

@duvalhansen8098 23 дня назад

I looove Dr. Amen's stuff, but as a tired pregnant mom at the end of a long day of solo parenting, my 1 year old just watched 20 minutes of Ms. Rachel so I could sit and eat a cookie and non-organic milk and not lose my head 😂😂❤

@marythr2617 17 дней назад

Same here. His advices are great overall, each person can apply the ones that fit their circumstances the best. Sometimes 30 mins of Ms. Rachel is better than a parent having a meltdown because it cannot cope or even go to use the toilet for a few minutes. Each situation each scenario each balance. I think he would do the same if he was in your shoes.

@snaxicakes 29 дней назад

17:10 'Anyways, back to my dad.' seemed like a rough transition 😅

@tiffanysavage4236 27 дней назад

😂😂😂😂 so true

@aleahchittum1520 28 дней назад

This mindset around food is how people can develop eating disorders. I know it’s important to eat healthy and avoid processed food and sugar but making the food out to be scary and completely off the table is not a good idea in my opinion. I was raised in a slightly controlling environment around food and was told certain foods were terrible because they had sugar and I developed an eating disorder by age 10. Had 8 years of anorexia. I’m still recovering to this day. I think Matt and Abby do a wonderful job (from the tiny bit I’ve seen) of feeding their kids a healthy balanced diet with some treats mixed in and positive talk around food. Hopefully this interview won’t change how they are doing things because I think they’re doing great!

@alexis_253 28 дней назад

Well said! I went through the same as a kid and ended up a binger. I am teaching my daughter moderation now and never labeling foods as good or bad. Dr. Amens perspective is so harmful in my opinion

@pamelapalmer7924 17 дней назад

Amen!!!

@keziaholson8147 14 дней назад

Absolutely! My thoughts exactly. I would rather my children have a healthy relationship with food (ALL kinds) and listen to their bodies than label things as ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and encourage unhealthy eating habits and more mental health struggles

@thesandravshow 29 дней назад

If the worst thing I do is tell my child they’re smart. I think im doing alright.

@shelleyjacobs7871 29 дней назад

I only agree with some of what he said. I get he's a brain expert but he seems pretty full of himself. Yes everyone should be healthy and make healthy choices. Eat right, exercise, spend quality time with your family is all we can do. You be you. Some of his advice is good but you need to decide what is best for you and your children.

@jacob416 29 дней назад

Even in just the intro clip he only said one thing that is back up by the wider psychology field. This guy’s a quack. Specifically “Never tell your child they are smart” is an insane thing to say, not just as a parent but as a psychologist. While many psychologist do seem agree that it’s possible to over praise he takes this oddly extreme position that doesn’t seem to be grounded in evidence. “Everything in moderation” = “I’m cheating” is also an insane take, borderline miss information, and that one’s not even within his field of study. Any doctor willing to give advice, even casually like this, on a field that isn’t even close to his field of study is not to be trusted. He seems to be more concerned with saying shocking things that get attention than true things.

@Sama-yd4cl 29 дней назад

⁠@@jacob416⁠⁠⁠he’s right about the smart thing (i haven’t watched that part yet so i don’t know how specific he was) but there is a lot of research in the education field too about it. It found that children who are constantly told they’re smart tried less hard at school. The take away is not to simply tell them they’re smart, we should be more specific in our compliments like emphasising how impressive their ‘problem solving’ skills were etc.

@laurenskee2665 29 дней назад

Look what we have here- an average person claiming to be smarter than a doctor and researcher.

@noelmiles7322 29 дней назад

I disagree with don't tell your child they're smart. My son is 20 months old and I am so proud of him when he does something new. So I will continue to tell my son he is smart. I also don't care about my son watching TV. Because he gets to watch TV during meals and before nap and bed. He doesn't get it all day.

@Mr.Goodkat 25 дней назад

@@Sama-yd4cl Kids shouldn't try hard in school, it's a wasteful and unethical place. Yes there is such thing as praising kids too much but he's saying NEVER do it, I'd call my kids smart just as much as I'd call anyone else smart which corresponds with how much they act that way, never praising is just being an A-hole.

@JV-sc2wr 29 дней назад

Very difficult to trust a person who speaks in absolutes this frequently. You would think a psychiatrist would be more careful with their word choice…

@Antibeautyguru 28 дней назад

Why shouldn’t he if he’s seen all the evidence backing his takes? The problem with doctors today is that they don’t know anything. Do I have this issue? Idk but I’m treating you for it. It’s a joke. His job is to know what he’s talking about. Imagine if you read 100 studies that said smoking is bad for you but you decide that smoking in moderation is fine. It doesn’t make sense, of course you’re gonna say smoking is bad period because all the evidence shows that. He doesn’t have to soften the facts because people don’t like them.

@XMissGX 28 дней назад

@@Antibeautyguru Would believed someone if they told you the sky was red with thousand of evidence to back it up? Stop acting like we know everything when we don't, there is a lot we do know, but not everything.

@Antibeautyguru 27 дней назад

@@XMissGX That’s an awful example. If I can see the sky I can see what color it is but I’m not a freaking scientist. You really think you know science like you know the sky is blue? You must be delusional then.

@TurkeyCreekGal 25 дней назад

@@Antibeautyguru I have to disagree with you! IMO, doctors today are very smart and know their stuff, if they don't know, they've referred me to a specialist. Just in the last week, I've taken my Dad to the ER 3 times and the ambulance 2 times, and my Mom 1 time to the ER, then on to a specialist by ambulance and now both of my parents are home doing much better! The doctors finally figured out what is wrong with my Dad because they worked together and consulted with a specialist! For me, Id rather a doctor say he/she doesn't know everything, than to have a doctor who thinks he/she knows everything

@TurkeyCreekGal 25 дней назад

@@Antibeautyguru how about being kind instead of calling people names? Did you allow your kids to talk disrespectfully to others and call them names? You shouldn't do it either! Just because your behind your computer screen and don't know the person, doesn't give you a free pass to be unkind. I pray God gives you everything you deserve!

@morganforrest6873 29 дней назад

All the things he says are interesting. I will also say I’m glad I have the power of discernment and I trust it.

@aleahchittum1520 28 дней назад

Yes!

@sophiapeterson3686 28 дней назад

So dramatic, moderation is a gateway to hell is so extreme.😂

@ava.noelle 28 дней назад

I know right 😂 I agree with some of his points but there are so many extremes and absolutes 😬

@larissa_7729 26 дней назад

i know! lol 😂

@janemaples775 29 дней назад

The organic food thing drives me NUTS. Not every family can afford to eat organic! This is a total place of privilege to say don't eat it if it isn't organic. We have never been able to afford organic, but our kids eat lots of fruits and veggies--THAT WE CAN AFFORD.

@sarahnoelhutchinson6154 29 дней назад

So true!! If you look into the research, you wouldn’t say such things! I hate the fear mongering!

@nans7514 29 дней назад

Honestly I feel like if you overall feed them healthy meals it’s fine

@kalieghhall588 29 дней назад

I had this thought! I studied nutrition, and the research shows people eat LESS fruits and veggies when we say to only eat organic. So are we saying eating less fruits and veggies is better than eating non organic berries? Crazy.

@anestassia6346 29 дней назад

It’s definitely difficult and discouraging, I buy nothing but fruit and veggies for my daughter. I don’t buy all organic because we could never afford that, but I do try to buy certain foods that are known to have the most pesticides. You can look up the dirty dozen and the clean fifteen.

@amcall 29 дней назад

It is super expensive. That's why we grow veggies ourselves. In a small space we are able to grow enough to share. ❤

@Anna08371 28 дней назад

It’s comical how many people think THEIR OPINION is going to change science or the truth about brain health. Amazing podcast 👏 very educational and spot on.

@Mr.Goodkat 25 дней назад

It's not that people think their opinion is going to change science or brain health, they just don't think science/brain health says those things in the first place, there is a difference, it also wouldn't always matter if it does, ethics don't depend on studies or research always.

@idontknow7886 22 дня назад

Exactly like they take objective facts, then say ‘everyone is different’ so they feel better about themselves 😂

@rachelchristine6065 29 дней назад

Reminder to every parent watching: Each kid is different. How you parent your kids will be different from kid to kid! You're a good parent!! You are not going to damage your child by letting them watch a screen for 20 mins a day. We watched how many movies growing up?? I think it's all about moderation, and a balance. Play outside, have one on one time with your kid, and watch movies with your kids! Just be kind and loving to your child. Make healthy choices, but don't let one persons words make you feel inadequate.

@POTUSBrown 29 дней назад

I watched so much TV as a child and young adult. I'm not the best person in the world, but I think I'm doing ok. If I had never watched TV as I kid, I'd be a different person, worse I think. Most of my good role models were TV personalities. Mr. Roger's, LaVar Burton, Sherry Lewis...ect. Along with cartoons that taught me to be compassionate, patience and forgiving, but also determined and upstanding. I was also outside a ton, play with my friends and learned at school. Most of the studies done about how bad screen time is for kids don't differentiate what the kid is watching or doing. Balance is best, and being active in your kids life is essential. Kids don't need TV, but there are so many things we don't need that enrich our lives.

@SetASpark 28 дней назад

Watching too much movies and TV is just as bad. Now that I'm an adult I have realised how much impact its had on my life and the lives of people around me. Your mind is moulded by what you've seen and they way you think comes from what you're learning from TV. Alot of childrens movies plant false ideas into your mind. Comparing it to people who lived a more social life and didn't watch too much tv they're doing much better coping with situations in life and they have a clearer understanding of life. That's just something I've noticed.

@Antibeautyguru 28 дней назад

But it’s not about moderation. People don’t have attention spans today because of the screens. I don’t see how you can see a doctor who has seen all the data say that screens should not be used at least until the age of 3 but you should definitely hold off for longer and then you can say that you’ve decided you can do it in moderation and your kids will be fine. He would know more than you, you want to do it in moderation because that’s what you want, he’s saying not to do it because he knows the fact that it’s awful and does mess with your children.

@lolsaXx 28 дней назад

No one is perfect. We all just do the best with what we have.

@Anna-1937 26 дней назад

We were only allowed so many hours of tv a week. We had chores and homework to get done before we got any down time.

@cayleevoltz 29 дней назад

While I think his values are strong and well educated, this is an extremely difficult lifestyle to obtain for 95% of people/families. Just the cost associated with all things organic is a large cost difference for many of us who are struggling to just be able to afford non-organic foods in general. Abby looks so uncomfortable and I would have been too if someone was making me feel like everything I'm doing as a parent was being judge and criticized as "wrong" and that you are failing your child. Moderation is key, regardless of what he says. ❤️

@ksc743 29 дней назад

He also barely acknowledged her. 95% of his answers were directed at Matt.

@Antibeautyguru 28 дней назад

@@ksc743 because Matt asked most of the questions.

@ksc743 28 дней назад

@@Antibeautyguru if two people host a podcast they can't both speak at once. It generally means one person is asking questions on behalf of both. Matt's questions were on the whole generalised. The Dr could have included Abby in the conversation by glancing her way now and again.

@taiyabazaheer9492 28 дней назад

Ppl literally shouldn't have kids if they can't give them the best life possible.

@miranda5621 29 дней назад

I know there’s a lot of controversy in the comments but i love listening to Dr. Amen. He is extreme and I don’t follow any of the things he says LOL but it’s so fascinating. Great interview you guys and great patience throughout 🙏🏼

@Katheyann 29 дней назад

My parents told me I love that you achieved that, but always remember there is someone else Who is going to be better than you, prettier that you and smarter than you!😂😂 kept me humble

@Sarah-Harvey 29 дней назад

I can see from the comments that this episode is a bit controversial. I just wanted to say I loved it! I found the whole conversation fascinating, as a 51yr old grandmother I may not agree with everything the Dr said but I can see his logic and expertise on it all. Thank you Matt & Abby for another amazing guest, yours is definitely my favourite podcast because of how diverse your guests are xx

@Dana-mb1hd 29 дней назад

I agree with you. This was my favorite episode and as a mama, I learned a lot from him. I think the problem is that people don’t want to do some soul-searching and realize that they might be making mistakes and learn from him. Fantastic episode

@Antibeautyguru 28 дней назад

@@Dana-mb1hd Exactly, so many people are mad that he’s speaking in absolutes but if the data is showing that things are absolutely bad or absolutely better these people can’t just decide that moderation is better.

@idontknow7886 22 дня назад

@@Dana-mb1hd exactly they have a habit of brushing it off with emotions, their mind blocks the logic because it comes with guilt

@AriaSumner 29 дней назад

This whole podcast is like a therapy session for Matt. Nice guy but he’s very focused on self analyzing and figuring himself out instead of thinking externally.

@elianagonzalez4731 27 дней назад

Agreed. It’s a pattern happening on every episode

@kendrabowen3940 26 дней назад

fr how many times have we heard about his ADHD now? 😅

@bellekiley9077 26 дней назад

i personally love watching Matt connect the dots! What a beautiful thing to see someone dedicated to self improvement and exploration

@Anna-1937 26 дней назад

It’s all about Matt since the kids came along. I think the issues started when Abby said she wasn’t happy in Hawaii. He’s too immature for Abby who is growing all the time.

@TITH1240 26 дней назад

This is my ex husband without rage (I think) meaning. I idea if Matt has rage and would never think that he just reminds me so much of my exhusband except mine would never have been able to do any of this the microphone would have been smashed upon him not liking someone or something

@jennifercody6936 29 дней назад

Thank you for sharing this. Dr. Amen is amazing. You both did wonderful and asked insightful and helpful questions.

@jadedempath7453 29 дней назад

As a 34 year old mom of five, I'm so happy to see younger parents than I try to figure out how to do parenting better than most of us w we're shown

@cassidybrewer 29 дней назад

I’m an almost 32 year old mom of one and I clicked immediately! Always looking to learn more about how to be better for my little dude.

@cajbaf 28 дней назад

May I say as a 72 year old. Don't overthink it so much. Love them, teach them what you know and to be good people. You will do just fine.

@katiehartzler11 29 дней назад

Please think about the way he speaks in absolutes. Parenting is nuanced. Different kids are nuanced. There are good things and bad things, of course, but we need to be careful about such strong language associated with raising children. He says a lot of good things here, but always know that you know your child better than someone on the internet.

@shamrocksandrockets1736 28 дней назад

Great comment

@ava.noelle 28 дней назад

Couldn’t agree more.. all kids are different.

@serenitybeauty 29 дней назад

One of the best podcasts Doctor Amen did, I watch his guesting all the time and I love every second. This one though is very easy to digest and he gave so many practical examples. I learned a lot from this episode.

@MR-zn5yc 29 дней назад

I really enjoyed this one. I just got over a minor traumatic brain injury so definitely what he is saying about brain damage is so true. It terrible

@anniesweeney4857 29 дней назад

Hi Matt and Abby! First of all, I wanted to say how much I enjoy your podcast. You guys seem so friendly and genuine. I look forward to listening to your podcast every week! I also wanted to say that I’m a licensed and certified Speech-Language Pathologist. Ms. Rachel is not a speech language pathologist, but does have degrees in early childhood development.

@sarahnoelhutchinson6154 29 дней назад

Thank you for saying this! As a future SLP going into her CF i hear this allll the time and it bothers me!!! I also feel the need to correct them when they say “Mrs. Rachel taught my kid…” because learning must be done through interaction early on (not screens). Otherwise it’s just a learned association and children can have a hard time truly generalizing. Okay, off my soap box

@JustBrianna 29 дней назад

@@sarahnoelhutchinson6154please stay on your soap box! ❤ Random strangers like me are reading this, leaning, & now going on to do some research of my own. Yall worked hard for those degrees and we don’t mind yall sharing this good information for free 😂

@janiceferrari4109 29 дней назад

Dr Spock’s child did not unalive himself..however his Grandson did

@anniesweeney4857 29 дней назад

@@sarahnoelhutchinson6154could not agree more! If using screens, (I am not naive to the fact that they are nearly impossible to avoid in this day in age) research points to at least making it a shared experience between child and adult with the adult facilitating language 😊 with that being said, I should note that any naturally occurring interactions, like during play or meal times are always the best opportunities for learning !

@DanielleMyers-jl6qw 29 дней назад

Such a good, thought provoking episode! It was good to hear this perspective on brain health and I plan to put a lot of this information into use. Thanks Matt and Abby!

@victoriawilkinson1414 26 дней назад

I have one year old twins and have found this podcast to be one of the best I’ve listened to thus far. Very very helpful and inspiring to lead a healthier life for all of us. Thank you!!!

@Grace-lt3hk 27 дней назад

PT here and all I could think of was his POSTURE the whole entire time and it made my back hurt... oh man, spine health is important too 🤣

@realone7488 21 день назад

His posture is about as straight as his scientific methods. Abby and Matt clearly have no shame or they would delete this.

@Sportingsaintsnike 26 дней назад

I definitely self-soothed myself during school. "I might not know the answer right now. but I will figure it out" was kinda my motto during school.I would never call myself smart, but I am an excellent problem solver and great leader because I can take emotion out of school.

@misha2652 29 дней назад

Abby you’re doing a great job with doing things in moderation. Don’t think that you’re a bad parents because you let your children watch screens.

@Anna-1937 26 дней назад

People seem to forget how many generations there were before technology even became a thing. I’m glad I had a childhood without them. Get your children playing outside, making friends the old fashioned way. There is so much misinformation out there too. Get them reading books!

@Mr.Goodkat 25 дней назад

@@Anna-1937 Books aren't any better than screens, in fact they have a lot of disadvantages screens don't, if you want your children to be smarter leave them alone to solve problems (not necessarily safety issues) unless they request your help, don't put them in schools and don't restrict video games as they're problem solving simulators which improve your brain and mental health, don't discourage working out and make healthy food readily available and eat it yourself but don't push it on them.

@sydneysolberg1988 26 дней назад

My favorite one so far!!! It was so interesting to hear what he had to say and y’all asked him great questions! Wonderful job❤

@cheyannemiller 29 дней назад

I dont think his 9 month old grand kid was saying "papa phone" like bffr

@bianca-arellano 28 дней назад

😂😂🤭

@adventureallie7683 28 дней назад

I told my daughter she was smart all the time-she was and IS! She’s just turned 15, taking college classes for credit and will graduate from high school-not online school the city high school 2 years early. She is in all AP classes and a few college classes and her GPA is 4.36 ish-all of that is great-but what I’m most proud of her for is her huge heart and that she’s a good kid! I have no regrets telling her she’s smart. Cause she is. Life is hard enough with enough people against kids especially these days. If my telling her the truth that she’s smart is bad-I sure wonder who she’d be if I never said that to her….tell them anything good that’s true about them. It’s the truth. They need to hear GOOD truths about them!

@zoepeters3826 28 дней назад

Well your daughter certainly does sound smart. But the point he’s making is, being smart is genetic, it doesn’t mean she’s worked hard for those achievements…coz like you said, she’s smart, so therefore those achievements were easy for her. Ask her to run 8 miles in 90 mins, that maybe difficult for her to achieve, but if she works hard, she can achieve it!

@juliettemccartney 29 дней назад

Loved the podcast Matt and Abby. You guys are learning just like everyone else in the world. Keep up the good work!!❤

@emmaferrin6815 29 дней назад

Interesting interview that I feel like is one of those, take the information you find helpful and throw out all the rest sort of thing. Totally understand where he's coming from with his viewpoints, but I also think life is about finding balance and how do we exist in this world in a healthy manner. Yes TV can be addicting, but can we teach our children how to navigate a healthy relationship with it. Same with telling your kid they are smart. That's a positive reinforcement that can be beneficial with the balance of learning and hearing about what they can improve upon.

@AriaSumner 28 дней назад

Wait. Matt forgot to ask him if he waited until marriage! 😆

@kayleighdenney2063 28 дней назад

Great interview guys! This was very informative and eye opening! Thank you!

@itsscaeleycx 29 дней назад

i 1000% agree with him on the screen time. kids shouldn’t have screen time until their at least 8-10 years old

@Mr.Goodkat 25 дней назад

Says someone over that age, if the good Dr. was under it, you'd find a whole new set of "evidence" and "studies" being cited to support his claims. People mess their kids self esteem up so bad forbidding everything and lording over them, obviously some things are bad for us and even worse when we're young but screens isn't one of them, consider how good screens are for problem solving, reading and learning all kinds of things, socialising etc, it's important for mental health, nothing significant occurs in the human brain approx. one decade after birth which now makes it suddenly start being good for us, nothing works that way.

@jenniwilliams3295 16 дней назад

Well you take a black or biracial child and spend about 5 hours washing their hair and detangling it and then take them to the salon or braid it yourself which is really painful and keep them from running away and screaming the whole time you use screen time. I hate even the phrase of it it's ridiculous.

@laurawells1598 27 дней назад

Literally my favorite podcast you’ve put out. Gained so much insight from this and plan to change the way I do things while parenting. Lovedddd this so much

@demidimas5471 28 дней назад

Wow!! What a great episode! Really enjoyed hearing about the topics that were brought up!

@AriaSumner 29 дней назад

Matt asking the psychiatrist “how did that make you feel” 🤦‍♀️

@meinelifecoachin6424 29 дней назад

Hahah i loved that! He turned the roles around. But the man loved to talk about his Trauma with his father, so he started with the switching of roles 😅

@ksc743 29 дней назад

Yes it felt almost as if this was the doctor's therapy session than the other way round.

@alim7688 29 дней назад

I love on other podcasts when Matt asks a awkward question she jumps in with the social awareness

@ksc743 29 дней назад

I like Matt's questions🤷🏼‍♀️

@zoepeters3826 29 дней назад

@@ksc743well the doctor was there to be interviewed, so makes sense that he’s going to tell the story that 1) he’s been invited to or 2) that he feels is important to his brand. I mean why else would a professional agree to be interviewed? This is a different format to just sitting on the sofa chatting with your friends and family like some of their other podcasts. I really enjoyed it.

@sarahadams200 24 дня назад

Greatly informative video Abby and Matt. So great to see this as the journey you are on together! Love these types of casts! It is so great and exciting to see the growth in you both and your streaming. Keep on keeping on

@user-us2qn5mw2v 29 дней назад

I think this is my favorite episode you guys have ever come out with! So phenomenal.

@Dana-mb1hd 29 дней назад

This is my favorite episode as well. I learned so much from this doctor and so much of it makes sense as a parent.

@mckennabowerss 29 дней назад

Organic marketing is for people who can afford it, that’s where the problem lies.

@Joyfullychelle 29 дней назад

Yes!!! That’s what I’m saying!!

@enenenergp 29 дней назад

”Everything in moderation is the gateway thought to hell” is a WILD statement 🤣 sorry but agree to disagree here 😁

@StinaPsych 29 дней назад

Agreed, also it seems like trying to get kids to follow strict absolutes usually leads to more rebellion and risk taking, not realistic 🫣

@laurenskee2665 29 дней назад

100%

@amy9091 28 дней назад

he is saying that the saying in itself is the gateway - not the doing. because the only reason you say it is to justify something you yourself define as ‘bad’. he is basically saying that enabling bad habits is a slipper slope - and that is true.

@theamazingallens2324 26 дней назад

This was a great conversation. I learned so much. This really has me unlearning so much. THANK YOU. Parenting is hard, but it is so rewarding.

@tanirnicole105 28 дней назад

SO SO SO INSIGHTFUL!! Loved this ep!🙌

@CaringWithCarrie 29 дней назад

Omg I love Dr. Amen, this collab is so cool!!! If y’all haven’t read his book Change Your Brain Change Your Life, you need to read it like YESTERDAY!

@emilycarson3809 27 дней назад

Pregnant now! Thank you for this! This is definitely going to help me and my husband make the best/healthy decisions for our son!

@shaylinedmond2256 29 дней назад

Loving this episode! Very interesting information for a fellow two-under-two parent

@hannahmangus4392 24 дня назад

This is a GREAT episode. It’s so lovely to hear from someone who very clearly knows what they’re talking about in terms of child development. Such a great tool for new parents to make information like this accessible. Keep up the good work guys!! Hope to see more content like this in the future.

@hannahmangus4392 24 дня назад

Note: psychology will always be controversial. People hate information that doesn’t fit into their preconceived notions. And no psychologist is right all the time. Most of this man’s information is generally applicable. He occasionally falls into the habit of speaking hyperbolically, but it’s absurd to discount this discussion for that. And people with no media literacy don’t understand that. The straw man arguments in the comments on this video are crazy.

@samanthabaxter8688 29 дней назад

I must say I have been a Matt and Abby watcher since before Griffin, and it gives me chills seeing all the guests they get on the podcast. I am so proud of how far you guys have come!

@marsisful 27 дней назад

OMG, mom of 2 here, who sees your videos and shorts, when the time allows , you know what I mean…one of the best podcasts I’ve listened to. Excellent questions and remarks from both you guys, amazing! And of course brilliant advice and food for thought from the Dr Amen. Congratulations guys, keep it up, all the best from Europe ❤

@carlajoyswan 29 дней назад

21:20 abby seems so uncomfortable 😂😂😂

@aleahchittum1520 28 дней назад

Yeah cause he’s stepping over the line. Matt and Abby from what I’ve seen so a good job of giving their kids a balanced diet with occasional fun foods. And he’s here telling them that a cookie is going to destroy their brains

@Anna08371 28 дней назад

@@aleahchittum1520he’s not stepping over the line. He’s stating facts. People can choose what they do with the facts afterwards. Signed- a lover of baking sweets lol

@carlajoyswan 28 дней назад

@@aleahchittum1520 i agree with you. :)

@realone7488 21 день назад

@@Anna08371what you’re preaching encourages disordered eating. Dr. Amen has problems. Look at him.

@MusicLover90720 29 дней назад

I loved this episode so much!! I’d love more doctors, naturopaths, scientists etc!!❤

@olgalizbonetarodriguez5477 21 день назад

Just a quick pointer to people complaining that organic is expensive. It is but you don’t have to get everything organic. There is a list of “dirty dozen” which is the 12 vegetables/fruits that have the greatest amount of pesticides. I stick to those and don’t get everything organic cause some things that have hard/thick skin are not as important to get organic either. Just sharing. 😊

@elizarose7096 16 дней назад

Thank you so much for sharing, I never knew this!!

@abigailnolet6879 8 дней назад

Im LOVING the episode so far!!

@claireDG000 29 дней назад

This video makes me anxious.

@AnaDaniCorrea 25 дней назад

Omgggg I loved this podcast! Thank you for bring dr. Amen ❤❤❤❤

@mariastellamelendez8670 23 дня назад

Thank you for this intelligent podcast. Dr. Amen is THE leading expert on behavior and rain health. You have done well for your fans.

@zoepeters3826 29 дней назад

What a fantastic interview, I found it really interesting. In fact so interesting that I’m going to buy ‘raising mentally strong children’. Thanks 😊

@sutherlandbrook3205 29 дней назад

lol a lot of comments about him liking to speak….. that’s why he’s there guys. Literally why he’s there. :)

@FearlessLeis 28 дней назад

This was RICH. thanks for hosting him! I feel uplifted and educated. Much respect for Dr Amen. So wish i could afford the brain scans at the clinic. Tried once

@realone7488 21 день назад

Don’t bother. It’s fraud science. If it was real, it wouldn’t cost a fortune out of profit.

@jenniferfields39 28 дней назад

This was my favorite episode yet!

@teresalomanno8916 29 дней назад

Love this episode very interesting!

@jodijohnson23 28 дней назад

Telling your kid that they are smart is a good thing. I think that just telling kids things and not defining what it means is the problem. So… tell your kid that he is smart. But tell him what it means to be smart. Tell him that being smart doesn’t mean that you have to have all the answers right away, but that being smart means you can say “I don’t know” but then strive to find the answer. And that’s the problem I have with this guy. He has a very distorted view of what being smart is. He seems to think that he has all the answers. And that’s a very dangerous person to get advice from. There is a lot of power in saying, “you know, I don’t know, but let me look into that a bit and I’ll get back to you” or “let’s look for it together and try and come to a conclusion together” that is what the really smart thing to do is.

@lolsaXx 28 дней назад

Great episode! Thank you!

@emers2592 29 дней назад

Love love love the podcast ❤️This was my favourite guest and so interesting to have these types of conversations! Despite his expertise though, I did find him quite narrow minded?? Nobody’s perfect! We all make mistakes! I can imagine it would be quite difficult to have a parent like this, who expects constant perfection in every aspect of life 🤔 Mental health and life in general isn’t a one size fits all. Surely living under this type of pressure would be just as damaging 🤷‍♀️ Sending all my love from Ireland❤ 🇮🇪

@sarahnoelhutchinson6154 29 дней назад

I agree with you! I’m no professional here but I feel as though his childhood has definitely influenced his present teaching which is not always very helpful. It’s a little to biased to be recommended for the general public in my opinion.

@emers2592 29 дней назад

@@sarahnoelhutchinson6154 completely agree 🙌🙌

@angelicarosas5758 28 дней назад

LOVE this episode! Thank you.

@natal1543 29 дней назад

Enjoy your podcast so much!

@lucylawes 29 дней назад

Loved this so so much ❤

@Godisgreat-777 29 дней назад

I agree strongly, not to tell your child they are smart. I took the same advice with my child, when I was raising my son. My son is now an attorney. I taught him that he could do anything he put his mind to. Nothing worse than an adult who was clearly told how smart and intelligent they are. It’s the worst.

@aleahchittum1520 28 дней назад

Why? I feel like being told I was smart as a kid helped me to build confidence and see that I was smart. And kids are going to see other parents telling their kids they’re smart so they might feel left out if their parents aren’t saying that. (This comment isn’t to say like “you’re wrong” I am just curious about this idea)

@Mr.Goodkat 25 дней назад

Correlation doesn't equal causation, there is countless people only pulled through because of complements they received as a child and there is many who didn't because they never got them.

@HelloBunny4000 28 дней назад

Loved his point of view!

@violingirl5570 28 дней назад

Oh my goodness I LOVE Dr Amen!!! ❤🎉 this is awesome!

@seasnow9394 23 дня назад

Loved this episode!!! Dr. Amen knows SO MUCH I feel like you could have him on 5 more times and still not cover everything!!

@waitingforthemothership 28 дней назад

Tell kids the things they do that make them smart. For example I tell my son that his curiosity and determination to figure things out is so smart of him.

@Rs-fw7py 25 дней назад

Amazing episode!! , I can't wait to become a parent and learn more ♥︎

@jwaller8200 29 дней назад

Important. He has good information. However, a few years back, a parent contacted me to assess their child who was having difficulty in reading. I am a certified reading specialist. The grandparents of this child took her to the Amen Clinic who did an initial evaluation and were about to pay 3k for a brain scan. The clinic was going to inject this developing brain with dye for the scan. I worked with the child for a few sessions and helped them to sort out confusions. She thankfully never had the scan and is doing well now. Scanning young brains I believe should only be done in extreme cases.

@enenenergp 29 дней назад

The contrast drug is not injected in to the brain it’s just given intravenously to your arm. Contrast is used in a lot of MRI and CT scans and is generally safe though some people might be allergic and get side effects. But I do agree doing unneccessary scans is well… unnecessary. MRI doesn’t include radiation but CT scan does and having those too often and unnecessarily could increase cancer risk. Though I think MRI is used on brains more often especially in non-emergency contexts because it not only is better in terms of the lack of radiation it gives you more detailed pictures and can show more than a CT (CT is super quick to do though).

@Antibeautyguru 28 дней назад

My cousin had a scan done by him when he was about 10 years old and it was the best thing for him. He got supplements that are managing his adhd and autism much better than he was before. The scan is worth living a less stressful life.

@realone7488 21 день назад

He’s a quack.

@realone7488 21 день назад

@@Antibeautygurucongratulations to your cousin and his vitamin regimen, but Dr. Amen is a known fraud. All flash.

@mamamichellegist 19 дней назад

wait there is such a thing as a reading specialist!?? omg. i would LOVE to do this!!!

@ashleystrand997 29 дней назад

My kids dentist actually told me that adding water to the juice just made it worse because you're adding more volume when it comes to their teeth. Not health-wise but their teeth. He said it's better to just give him that little amount that you're putting in that water in a cup so they can drink it quick because if they're for example drinking it in a sippy cup but they don't drink it fast. They're like sipping on it

@lenhardtalyssa 28 дней назад

I'm surprised you guys could fit in the same room as his ego 😂

@realone7488 21 день назад

He’s literally insane. If this is the model brain, I don’t want it.

@MrsChristensen 29 дней назад

If you want to change the world, go home and love your spouse. Wisdom backed up by science!

@tammyandrew9301 29 дней назад

Great podcast.

@meadhbhstack6716 29 дней назад

Eating disorder trigger during the brain food discussion. Good and bad food isn’t something you should teach small children

@kaylachristenson9664 28 дней назад

We teach nutritious and less nutritious and my daughter is so excited about which foods fuel her and I think maybe those terms are a little more helpful!

@meadhbhstack6716 28 дней назад

@@kaylachristenson9664 totally agree with you! Foods don’t hold morality

@emj850 27 дней назад

He speaking from a brain perspective, a clinical perspective. It's not like a judgemental- parent- society- social media perspective.

@patperez8223 27 дней назад

ypu are wrong. I tell my daughter to eat healthy as she plays sports . I tell her everyday the importance of drinking water instead coke, thank God my daughter is slim, healthy and a happy teen. KIDS NEED DIRECTIONIN LIFE.

@emiliadonoghue6770 26 дней назад

Having grown up with ED we took the route to not label food as bad for our kid but they unfortunately teach that in school. So now we talk about food that good for your body and food that’s good for your soul.

@mariavictoriakinszki97 11 дней назад

Awww Matt is so nervous at the beginning of the podcast. You guys are doing so amazing

@Dana-mb1hd 29 дней назад

This is fantastic Matt and Abby ❤. Thank you Dr. Amen I learned so much and will be implementing what I’ve learned into my parenting❤️ Matt and Abby this is my FAVORITE episode !

@Miss.SarahRobyn 25 дней назад

Keep lighting the way Dr. Amen! I wonder if there’s any real hope for people that struggle with NPD.

@hannahthomas5609 28 дней назад

Wow just wow I learned so much

@SheIsCharlotte 29 дней назад

He’s not explaining WHY is alcohol bad for your brain? Which is the most important part

@Savyspice 29 дней назад

Because it’s literal poison you’re putting in your body? A quick google search will tell you everything you need to know. Alcohol is just so normalized and main streamed that when anyone talks against it people get offended because almost EVERYONE over drinks.

@POTUSBrown 29 дней назад

Alcohol is a nerotoxin that can disrupt communication of the brain. That's from Google.

@Odiekins 28 дней назад

@@POTUSBrownGoogle 😂

@TheSunBringsJoy 27 дней назад

Ethanol

@patperez8223 27 дней назад

because of the chemicals in it 🙄

@anasantos1348 29 дней назад

That restrictive and strict relationship with food makes no sense for most people. There is an actual balance. Good for him he can manage that, but by no means that IS the reality for most of us. Btw, another doctor here. There are different points of view. I encourage everyone to get informed and develop their own opinión!!

@startthefirstchapter 29 дней назад

I agree. Even him saying something like, “Nobody’s perfect but there is always room for improvement.” I think would reach a lot more ears, hearts, and might I say, brain… 😂

@casdrod 29 дней назад

👏🏼👏🏼💁‍♀️

@Antibeautyguru 28 дней назад

That’s because people are sensitive nowadays to hearing that they’re doing anything wrong. You can have a good relationship with food and not eat garbage.

@sourflower3727 28 дней назад

Especially if anyone struggles with an ED already.. restriction leads to binging. That lifestyle is only okay for people who are already mentally strong. If anyone struggles with shame around food, please do not try to do what he said. It will not go well for you. Heal the underlying shame first. Be careful ❤️

@jodijohnson23 28 дней назад

100%

@hannahlloyd3831 29 дней назад

So interesting! I'd love to see more guests like this on the podcast! People who are experts in their field and can share lots of knowledge.

@cassyschraft6268 29 дней назад

I wish, but not sure Matt and Abby could handle that 😂 if you look at this video and the one with Dr. Mike, they are extremely uncomfortable with being informed and being challenged on their views and opinions. They tend to prefer other couples on their podcast who agree with them and praise them.

@karencarrillo2397 15 дней назад

I simply love this episode 🫶🏼

@Cyan559 28 дней назад

Its admirable that they are exploring parenting styles/professional advice/implication of actions before the wild ride truly begins. Toddlerhood and teen years are truly trying to marriage and sanity.

@Mr.Goodkat 25 дней назад

Not for parent's who are non-coercive and respect their kids right from the get go when they reach their teens they'll be a joy cause they've always been treated as such.

@Cyan559 25 дней назад

@@Mr.Goodkat very true. Although developmentally, toddlers do challenge parents and test boundaries. We as parents have to remain calm, and control our own reactions and emotions, remain respectful and get through these times. With time they’ll model how we react, to eventually navigate their emotions and reactions, or at least from experience mine have.