Breaking the Cycle, how I did it and you can too 

you guys are the best ❤ just a quick reminder Ill be doing a casual new month healhy habit group chat on my Instagram! If you'd like to join just DM me or enter through my BIO🥰

just got done crying about not being able to achieve this and this came up. the FBI agents are hitting the ball out of the park. Thank you for this video.

Short Summary - Self-regulation is crucial for practicing healthy habits and becoming self-disciplined. - Learning to regulate our inner state allows us to break the cycle of autopilot behaviors and responses. - Understanding the autonomic nervous system and its role in regulating our physiological and psychological state - Understanding and regulating the nervous system for a healthier response. - Understanding the three stages on the scale: Safety, Fight/Flight, and Shutdown. - Recognizing your state of mind is crucial for personal growth. - Using tools to regulate the nervous system and manage emotions. - Practice conscious awareness of your nervous system - Consistency leads to results - Setbacks are important for growth --------------------------------- Detailed Summary Self-regulation is crucial for practicing healthy habits and becoming self-disciplined. - Self-regulation involves monitoring and managing our inner energy states, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. - It allows us to manage disruptive emotions and impulses, and move flexibly between different states. Learning to regulate our inner state allows us to break the cycle of autopilot behaviors and responses. - Understanding the nervous system and its role in self-regulation - Navigating overwhelming emotions and finding ways to get out of them - Building a toolkit of helpful resources for regulating the nervous system - Developing self-discipline through consistent practice of positive habits - Recognizing the pattern of starting and stopping habits based on motivation levels Understanding the autonomic nervous system and its role in regulating our physiological and psychological state - The autonomic nervous system consists of the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems, which are responsible for our active and recovery states respectively - The sympathetic system triggers the fight or flight response, while the parasympathetic system promotes relaxation, digestion, and immune repair Understanding and regulating the nervous system for a healthier response. - Being aware of the different states of the nervous system and consciously moving between them. - Identifying triggers and emotions that lead to unconscious behaviors and finding healthier alternatives to feel safe. Understanding the three stages on the scale: Safety, Fight/Flight, and Shutdown. - Safety stage is where we feel calm, open to connection, relaxed, and grateful. - Fight/Flight stage is when we feel activated and stressed, with a sense of urgency. - Shutdown stage has two aspects: one where we feel relaxed and excited, and the other where we feel tired and drained. Recognizing your state of mind is crucial for personal growth. - Creating a system helps overcome resistance to tasks that require energy. - Drawing or writing out your feelings can increase self-awareness and identify patterns. - Awareness of your physical and emotional responses helps understand your current state and triggers. - Recognizing anxiety and stress can guide you in managing challenges and fears. Using tools to regulate the nervous system and manage emotions. - Tools like breath work, meditation, yoga, drawing, and exercise can help regulate the nervous system. - Different tools work for different situations; for example, shaking, jumping, or running can help release immediate anxiety. Practice conscious awareness of your nervous system - Use tools like deep breathing and lowering heart rate to manage anxiety - Build confidence and self-trust by learning how to handle strong emotions Consistency leads to results - Consistently practicing new habits and breaking old cycles will lead to positive change over time. - Starting small, being kind to yourself, and taking slow actions will help you make progress. Setbacks are important for growth - Setbacks become less frequent with time - It's okay to have setbacks and struggles.

My therapist recommended a really great book on this topic called “Anchored” by Deb Dana - for anyone who would like to dive deeper into these concepts.

Starting a new semester tomorrow can't wait to use these techniques for a smoother, more focused fall!! Love your videos

I thought your explanation was one of the clearest and most practical that I’ve seen-it takes the concepts and gives simple steps to put them into practice. I’m just learning about these different nervous system states, and I think I’ve been in either a disassociated or anxious state most of the time for decades. You explain so clearly how this leads to feeling like I can’t control myself or build better habits and why I compulsively do things like watching social media. Thanks ❤

I’m so glad the algorithm led me to your channel. I’m in a similar point in my journey to self-parenting and self-regulation so I definitely needed to hear this.

I literally shut down a lot. It’s not great so I end up putting off a lot of things. I find that body doubling videos on RU-vid are helpful, like having someone talking to you while you do things such as cleaning your room, doing skincare etc together. Most mornings I struggle to get out of bed (I have severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks and c-ptsd) so I’ll get up to go to the bathroom then think since you’re up why don’t you brush your teeth and wash your face as well. I’ll find that it’s either not so bad so I may do something else or it could be something I have to force myself to do. I’m not where I want to be in life so I think that’s part of it.

I don't remember ever hearing someone say healing/changing isn't linear 🤯 Thank you!

Thank u sm for this! I have been in this shutdown state for as long as i remember and yes there have been points when I realize that it’s time for a change and enough is enough, but at the end nothing happens. For my first 2 years of uni i’ve been in this state and as a result my grades have suffered and so has my mental health. I am now going into my third year and something has to change. I cannot live like this anymore. So thank you very much for giving me this push because I will actually put in the work! And thanks for that message at the end, to start small. I think that was my biggest issue, I thought i could change overnight and that was really overwhelming. But no, one small step is enough! And all those small steps u take build up over time and eventually you’ve changed without feeling overwhelmed all the time. So thanks for this again and I will be using tips!

Great video, incredibly helpful. So happy we finally use platforms to share useful info that no one taught us in school, though they should have. Health, financial literacy, social understanding especially systemic problems, logic, politics- this is what we need instead of useless dumb things we never ever get to apply and just make us more dumb and compliant with oppression.

This video inspired me so much, my problem is I can never stick to anything! I’m going to try very hard to use the principles you talked about

i was on anti depressants for a year and i have gone off it. while i was off it i had a trigger that i still haven’t been able to recover from. seeing this video has given me more hope that i can work through my mental state without having to go on medication again because this time i want be able to work things out myself and not have to deal with the side effects anti depressants can cause. so thank you for this video!

To ease your anxiety, I did understand everything you said! I've heard these terms a few times before but this is the first time I've heard someone explain it in-depth and I grasped it immediately. I understand it is difficult to convey your thoughts in any language if you're struggling to find the right word, so you are doing phenomenal. If it helps, I think it is the visual pictures and your personal examples that make your words easiest to understand, so continue focusing on those aspects and people will understand even if you can't find the right word! 🥰

thank you so much for uploading this! i've got last month of my summer vacation left and i wanted to focus on my self improvement before the start of the new semester however lately i found myself feeling extremely drained and unable to perform the simple habits i planned to do during my day. seeing your video and hearing your explanation made me realize how important it is to take some time to understand WHY my body might be feeling like this which i have not really been paying attention to until now - i just thought that was the nature of things! moreover, you described everything so clearly and with so much sense that you inspired me to delve more into this topic. hopefully, step by step, it all works out for me. i'll defo try out your one minute checking in with yourself method! keep up the good work ❤

Oh my god. I'm so glad this came to my feed. I was really struggling rn and it made so much sense. I could feel you girl. You explained it so well even when it was hard for you. I admire your strength and send you a lot of love. This is what a trauma informed video looks like and I absolutely want ppl with PTSD or any kind of trauma to share their story and be a part of an empowering community.

The fact that you are so concious and are able to distance yourself from your emotions and be the viewer really inspired me to be more concious myself. Love this video!! Definitely a sub to your channel!!

I'm so glad I encountered this video, I've seen so many videos about this but none that explained it as well and as thorough as you did. It really helps with knowing the nervous system states and the tools to combat it.

thank you so much for posting this video! this is an incredibly helpful explanation of something I've been trying to learn about for ages now. I could not have found this video at a better time :)

thank you so much for this! everything you said was exactly what i needed to hear

I love that you are so authentic in what you do and say

Thank you! Woke up today feeling overwhelmed, questioning how to get theough the day and your video found me and your tips are exactly what I needed to hear today! This will stick with me for life, thank you! ❤️

I loved your approach on this, learned sm new things! And I absolutely adore how the exact people talking about the topic who I thought about, were the ones you mentioned, they are so so so so sooo good 10/10

i really needed this video rn

This was very helpful and you did make sense! I appreciate how you explained the ideas very concretely and with humility. Wishing you all the best on your journey. Keep up the good work!

Thank you thank you 💛 This finds me right where I’m at and I’m excited to practice the application of action

thank you SO much...... literally this is exactly what i needed thank you so much for this video

just wanted to say that i love this! you were very informative and very well spoken. i have been struggling with anxiety for a while and i think this video was a good refection on how i have felt in the past. thank you for creating this. i look forward to seeing more of your content.....and leaving more comments to help you along the way as well :) wishing you all the best!

I keep watching this video every few days. Tysm for this. I’m glad to know that’s it’s possible to feel safe inside my body.

The editing is amazing and this video is so underrated. Really really good job, glad it was on my suggestions.

I really needed this right now. thank you for sharing your journey and advices.

Just want to congratulate you for making such a good video. Great info! There are not many videos in which I feel seen or understood, but this one was certainly one of those❤

Thank you so much for this video!! I always find it hard to just get up and do whatever I want to do.. I feel like your video helped me a lot, Jen.. Lots of love ❤

I've been stuck in my recovery because I've struggled to remember the cycle. Love the idea of using an hourly check-in to accustom myself to just noticing how I feel. Thank you so much for posting these thoughts, it's been very helpful to me. I look forward to being able to check out the other youtubers you found helpful.

I absolutely love this video it motivated me a lot but man YOU ARE SO GORGEOUS

1st video of yours, love the honesty and techniques. Supporting my vagus nerve and nervous system the last 6 months has brought similar results as you describe. Great video😊

This video really popped up when i needed it. Thanks for the explanation, it's really helpful because now i know what i'm really experiencing and what are the steps to fix it.

Thank you so much! I personally have struggled with this but have never heard anyone break it down the way you just did. So valuable 😊 I am definitely going try implement this knowledge and technique of checking in ❤ honestly thank you 🥰

this video was really really helpful, taking down notes and fully realizing what you meant made me realize so many different triggers and emotions i really feel half the time. Thank you so much maam

I listen/watch youtube while doing chores and other tasks. Rarely do I take the time to stop everything I'm doing to pull out my laptop to write a comment on a video. YOU did an incredible job tuning into your body and expressing a very legitimate and relatable vulnerability (RE anxiety from concern of being criticized, etc.). To put that vulnerability at ease, this video is amazing and I'm grateful to have come across it. You're doing good things in the world. Thank you! And keep spreading the light :)

This video is sooo amazing! Thank you for this

I actually think I will be able to become who I wanna be after watching a few videos of yours. You’ve helped me so much to change my mindset in a matter of hours. I’m gonna keep sticking to my promises I make for myself. Thank you so much Jen!

thank you for talking about this! i've been trying to heal and break generational curses and patterns for the last few years and i'm at a point where i just have no idea what to do anymore. it's so much pressure and constantly puts me in this fight or flight/shutdown state and it's so discouraging. i'll definitely practice these steps and work within, thank you for sharing your wisdom

this is so helpful thank you so much for this. When you mentioned that you did this on an hourly basis until it became second nature, it really helped me. I really need this!

thank you for taking time to share this ❤

Thank you so much for this video! I loved how clear, well-researched and structured it was and it also came at the perfect time because I've recently been struggling with a lot of anxiety at work or especially at night when I'm trying to fall asleep. So self-regulation is something I am currently working on to be able to do the things I wanna do even when I have feelings of anxiety. Going for a run or doing heavy workouts is also one tried and true way I calm my nervous system down when I'm super anxious. :) I'd be interested to hear more from you about different tools you use to regulate your nervous system and I will definitely check out the other creators you linked!🥰

I have never been able to find a video that helped me so much. Thank you for sharing!!!❤

Loved your definition of self regulation!!

This is similar to the journey I’ve been on yet I couldn’t have explained it better than you did. Thank you

I adore this video. This is a great guide to starting small and getting into regulating. I love what you have to say about noticing your body. Thanks for making.

Thank you for this!!! So we’ll put and explained!!❤️

This all made perfect sense. Thank you😊

Thank you for making this video ❤ I really need this

Thanks for making this video ❤ very helpful and encouraging. Going to set a check in timer on my phone. As an artist, I can attest that painting has been a massive help in regulating my nervous system, but I still need help when the feelings get really big and overwhelming. Panic attacks have become less frequent though and I'm really grateful for all the creators that share their experiences and vulnerability. ❤

This is so important !!

I think watching this video is the one little push I needed to try to get out of this shutdown era (which I called a funk or a rut until now). Thanks for uploading this! :)

I've been on my healing journey for about 3 years now and this video found me at the perfect time. You have no idea how much I needed to hear these things about self-regulation and described in such a beautiful and easy to understand way. Thank you so much for making this video, I genuinely feel like I have leveled up to the next step of my healing because of it💕

This helped. Thank you for sharing your experience.

this was so helpful, and I feel so incredibly seen❤ thank you!

Enjoyed this video so much 💛 Such a comfort, feel like chatting with a friend, much love xx

I’ve never felt so understood before. My inner world feels so disregulated so easily & I felt like you were describing me perfectly. The best part of this video was that you gave me hope because sometimes I feel like I’ll be this way forever and life will always feel this hard. Do you by chance have all of this information in written form?

This video touches on so many of the things I would love to share with people and you did such a great job putting it into digestable words. I'm a physical therapist and I talk ALOT about the stuff you mentioned in this video at work to help patients deal with their physical issues by addressing their mental state as well. The 1 hour timer check in is probably my most suggested activity that I give pretty much anyone that I know has a hard time with self awareness. Love it! Super inspiring to see in the comments that people love this stuff and super inspiring to see you share this.

Thank you for uploading this :)

this is literally what I was thinking about a few days ago when I caught myself numb-scrolling instagram for 2hrs , thank u for the video xxx

This was really helpful thank you so much! Loved the way you delivered all of the info

Thank you and your explanation was spot on for me. I have a big life change happening and I do not feel safe and there is literally no one who says to me its going to be ok, they all have needs. I have been struggling, trying to do things but I think I go between disassociated and anxious states and now I have some tools to help me move forward. I will be rewatching this several times to help me remember. A great big THANK YOU!

this was an incredible video! spoke to my soul. you're very tender and clear. Keep it up!

this is exactly what i needed to hear right now! i’ve been working a LOT on doing this type of work lately, taking in a lot of information from countless resources. i feel like i’ve come across so many of these resources at exactly the right time in the right order, where everything is snowballing in a really good way and i feel more regulated than i have in a very long time. in this video, you explained very well a lot of things that i have been struggling to put words to myself, and you also provided new information in a way that felt right, and very clear for my brain to comprehend. i’ve been looking a lot into polyvagal theory recently and still felt a bit confused, but your explanation made it really click for me. thank you so much for this 💛 even though this is the first video of yours that i’ve watched, i feel like i can relate a lot to your mindset and journey to self-regulation. i’m happy you’ve made such great progress in feeling more regulated, and that you’ve been brave enough to be vulnerable and share your experiences to help people ☺️💛

I'm so glad I found this channel. I didn't know the term for so much of what I've struggled with.

This is exactly what I needed!! Thank you so much for this video, you explain things really well! And I also love that you are so open and give us an example of your check in in the moment ‘how stressed am I? Why?’ I’ve never seen a creator do that in a video, but that truly helps the viewer! ❤

i'd like to say thank you so much for making this video Jen! got me crying a little cuz i have struggled with strong emotions and sensations and my response have been a complete shutdown.. this have been making me guilty that even the smallest task i couldn't get it done.. your video gave me a lot of insights and hopefully this is a first step to my healing journey!

Thank you so much! This is such a self compassionate and shameless explanation. “What we want to do” and “what is going to help future us”, not how to be good and perfect. I still trying to figure out my own wants, but I think this will be a good start. I am so bad with phone alarms and timers, I tend to ignore them, but I’m going to try the hour thing or at least morning, afternoon and evening or something. I’ve been considering the hour one anyway to break myself from work hyper focus some. Thanks and good luck! ❤

Thank you for this video! It is sincerely appreciated

I so appreciate you sharing this knowledge. Many people are uncomfortable or feel bad about themselves and this video explains in a very condensed way a very good way to change and finally enjoy our lives. So I thank you infinitely for sharing the valuable knowledge you have learned and mastered. Delighted to be your new follower.

Hello Jen! I just wanted to let you know that I found your content helpful especially this self-regulation video and the reparenting one. I appreciate your effort and energy for sharing with us ☺🫶🏾

all that you’re saying make sense girl ;) love this video !

You are doing great, I love your presentation style! I learned so much from your video, thank you! ❤

Loved this! It reconfirmed the process I am going thorugh , thank you

Thank you so much for this video!

hi your video was very eyeopening! I'm 17 and im trying to sort out my procrastination habits to do better in school :) thank you for this video

25 seconds in and it's so cinematic and well edited, already left a like

I really enjoyed this. You hit some things that I never hear being said in videos and its relatable. Ive come a long way from no check ins to much more but the Timer ⏳ idea is epic, just set mine ❤️ for each hour on the hour because when you dont check in much you do sinoly just need a reminder its no biggie. Also so many other areas were insightful and thabks for re-explaining definitions becauuse we all need to anchor in the facts of the terms. Well done 👏👏👏 and thank you

Wow I NEEDED to see this. Thank you ❤

thank you for this!

Love the braking the cycle and tip too

This is incredible thank you so much

I love you’re editing style❤

Greetings and a warm THANK YOU from Germany! This was really helpful. You beautiful soul inside and out ❤

Thanks for the info !! I understood all of what you were saying it’s very helpful… working on this now

This was really great! I learnt so much!! Thank you!! ❤

Thank you! ❤❤❤

Fantastic - thank you!

Thank you for this video ❤

This came at a good time. Thank you

Hi Jen. I rarely comment on videos, but I wanted to validate your strength and resilience because resetting your nervous system is extremely difficult. I also wanted to express my gratitude for making this information accessible and digestible for the general public. I’m a research scientist in the public health/psychology field, and the way you described emotion dis/regulation was very accurate. I think it’s brave to describe your journey with this very common phenomenon. Thank you for normalizing it! I’m proud of you. It reminds me of my journey as well. I spent my entire youth and young adulthood fighting against myself. I am looking forward to my future because things are finally looking up, so it makes me so happy to see others thriving and unlearning unhealthy coping mechanisms. ❤ Side note: I don’t have social media, but I would love to join your healthy habit group to talk more with you. It is so refreshing to hear you care so much and put in the inner work to live your best life. In my experience, it has been a struggle meeting others who exhibit this growth mindset. Something I’ve been trying to cultivate is a community that values self growth and learning. I hope you’re doing well. ~ Joy

Thank you for your efforts

This video is really helpful! Thank you! I'm using this to help me write a blog post about building compassionate self-disciple (and linking to your content)😄

Saving this for later, for the next time I'm not feeling regulated. This is a great video! Thank you. 🙂

Just a reminder: when people summarize creator's videos in the comments it takes away from their time effort and research put into this. It also messes with the algorithm and makes it harder to reach more people if the full video isn’t being watched. Also we need to learn❤ how to be more patient and not rush through things. thats the point of the video.

Thank you so much for taking the time to do such a well thought out and informative video! As a teenager trying to unlearn and reshape my habits, you truly are an inspiration and invaluable resource. I feel so blessed to have come across your channel. Thank you.