How To Speak Indirectly (Like the British!) Tactful Speaking Tips 

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Hong Kong style: 1) "That background color looks bad, change it to a lighter color" 2) "This spreadsheet is hard to understand, add a column with headings" 3) "Finish this before you go home today" 4) No need to talk here, just walk away and eat something else, life is better this way. 5) "Draft this article for Judy" 6) "Who's Bob?" It's all about efficiency over there, nothing personal.

Share my experience. A US user and a UK developer discussed a requirement. Then the UK developer replied, "it's possible". The US user then waited for the result, but surely he cannot get the result he wants. In UK "it's possible" means "It is still possible to do that, but we have to put a lot of effort on it. I don't think we should do it in this way." But the US user thought "It is possible and we go for it"

讲得很好。跟英国同事工作九年多，觉得英国同事是最礼貌，讲话最让人舒服的。觉得大家都是打一份工而已，同事之间能互相支持和帮助，并且说出的话让大家开心，何乐而不为呢？做成一件事，催促和苛责不是唯一的方法，而且这种方式也会让人不开心

在荷兰,人们就是用前一种方式交流的,直接、简单,我喜欢这样交流。

在亞洲如果你用英式溫和說法，很有可能對方會真以為你不急，然後你等八百年也不會等到你要的東西😂

英式禮貌的精髓在於，在表達需求和異議時加入一點不確定的口吻，以及麻煩對方的歉意。若如願以償，就表現出一副「我並不急」的樣子；反之則是「我並不介意」。

That is so sweet and thoughtful!💕 I think it’s so true. People talk differently because they have different personalities, and they were brought up differently. Plus different cultures, different languages…..There’s no right or wrong. But when communicating, it’s important to understand people’s differences and try to make others feel comfortable. I’m from Taiwan, and my husband is an American born Chinese. At the beginning of our marriage, I would say “Honey, would you like to take out the trash please?” And sometimes he would just say “No.” and left me in shock. 😳 He said he felt it was a question and he just gave me an answer. 😱🤯 Now he realized that it’s really a request in my polite way, not a question at all. 🤭 He told me he would prefer if I told him directly, like” honey, please take out the trash right now.” And I told him I would appreciate him saying something like “I’m tied up right now but give me a few minutes and I’ll get it done.” It’s not always easy, but we try~😆

Good points! I often find some Chinese speakers speak like this in English. Some even sound quite harsh from my point of view. However, it may not be their faults because they may have learned English that way in schools. A lot of them simply translate it from their native language into English. They don't realise it may sound rude or aggressive in English. Thanks for sharing.

不光是英国，我觉得这种考虑对方感受的“共情式”说话法都很有意思。特别是在工作，承认对方做出的effort，给出actionable的改善方式，再以really appreciate that收尾，我觉得基本不会遇到奇怪的人毕竟很多英国人都挺体面的，只要你讲道理，他们也会讲道理。当然遇到奇怪的人，直接的说话方式我觉得更能解决事情，英国人在这方面其实做得也很好！

我的男友是英國籍，剛開始互動到已經交往的時候我還是很難捉摸他到底要表達什麼意思😂 真的常常有種「所以你到底要怎樣」的疑問 到現在一年多了我學到的是：直接忽略他講的第一段，重點在第二段🙃

感谢Susie的视频，非常有帮助。好多中国大陆初来英国的人，都被英国人觉得rude，其实这不是他/她们的本意，只是文化不同，希望更多的人看到这个视频。

中文其實也有比較有禮的說法只是人們普遍頃向不使用它，可能比較接近家教問題

感謝有這支影片 過去我用的英文對話都屬於非常直接的那種 原本覺得很適當 不需要太多中間詞 簡潔明瞭 現在想像那根本不是對話 那就像命令 曾經也有人跟我提過我講話太直接 但反問卻沒有人知道怎麼適當的修飾 讓那些句子變的委婉一點 再次謝謝你 希望之後會有更多這種類型的影片

這個企劃好棒！我在英國時最大的獲益就是禮貌的尊重人與人的關係！

I think I'm getting the hang of it. 听起来好像挺复杂，其实在中文的话也有这么个说法，只是不大常用 就是当你拜托别人做某件事的时候，你不要直接说“你能做这个吗“。你要说“你觉得你能帮我现在能做这个吗“。这里“觉得”，就是在表达Do you think you could..... "我们要改另外一种颜色"，在中文里也有偏委婉的表达，比如”我觉得我们要改另外一种颜色“，这里的”觉得“就是表达I was thinking....因为这是在表达自己的观点，不是直接下命令执行动作。 “我觉得你应该xxx”“我觉得你可以xxx”“如果xxx的话，怎么样”“我可能做不来，我现在手头还有其他事情”“不太行耶，我接触过这个” 觉得 可能这两个字可以解释非常多视频里的内容。其他情况其实在国内也很常见，就是经常把谢谢不客气挂在嘴上，拒绝的时候不要直接说不行，要拒绝之后表达清楚原因或者提供个简单的解决方案。日常工作中我对来往不多的同事也都是这么对话的，如果同事之间太熟了的那种就会切换到第一种说话方式。还有一种特殊情况就是老板会基本用第一种说话方式

讓我想起剛鬧的沸沸揚揚，香港人馬米高的說法😊妳的觀點我更能接受❤謝謝讓我了解以為只有台灣人說話才委婉😊

可是在英國如果不這樣講的話 普遍會被認為非常沒禮貌。但我覺得因為亞洲教科書口語非常有限，小孩能學到也這麼多，所以當孩子出去唸書聊天的時候難免會遇到這樣的情況

目前在英國辦公室環境工作，這集超級實用👍

I grew up in Hong Kong and I am not a native English speaker. Sometimes I know sentences like 'What do you want me to do?' can sound very rude. But I don't know how to say it in a better way so I would just stop talking. Thank you for your awesome video! It's very helpful!

本身是日文系也有在日本工作過　聽了老師的介紹覺得英國人跟日本人某些地方真像哈哈

喜欢第二种。不是语言问题，即便翻译成中文，第二种也要礼貌得多！我在荷兰呆了5年，不觉得第一种沟通恨普遍。

I absolutely agree that this is the very finest element of a language (or culture) and it is extremely important to learn it. It's not something you'd learn from a book, or even movies/films/tv shows etc. It's something you'll need to pay attention to in everyday life, especially when people are NOT speaking to you (ie conversations between others). Compared to this, vocabulary, grammar etc are actually less of an issue. On the other hand, speaking from my 20 years' experience living in the UK as a foreigner, Brits are far less tolerating/considerate when it comes to language. They'd be fully aware that English is not your native language and will not hesitate to tell you "your English is very good!", but when it comes to those subtleties of the British English language and culture, they'd conveniently forget that you are not native. In Asian countries, if a foreigner tries to speak the local language and makes a mistake/uses it inappropriately (which is very often), ppl in general don't judge them on that. Ppl usually appreciate that foreigners are making the efforts (and sometimes gives it a good laugh if it's funny). I touched this topic during my "goodbye interview" (the interview after I announced my departure) with my former employer. If Brits (or British employers) want to improve on diversity, this is something they'll need to look at - don't expect everyone to speak perfect English in a perfect, British way.

我的英文程度沒有好到能思考這些事情😂謝謝你給我一個新的思考方向👍

感谢您做出的视频，对于一个在英国留学的中国学生来说您的频道能让我很好的理解英国人的文化，更好的适应英国的生活。谢谢

感謝舒萱老師，大大的用心準備，實實在在的生活體驗。

在東南亞跟員工溝通， 要直接明瞭，直接點出問題點 模稜兩可的問句，反而會造成更大的問題 感謝這個影片 我會注意以後跟其歐美文化說話更微婉

真的很有用！个人会更喜欢第二种说话方式，让人觉得舒服温和很多❤谢谢您！

"I'll do it" is a sentence that one of my British groupmate always said. Turns out that for the entire project he offered to help but never actually find a solution, his justification is that "we never ask him to help". Thanks for making this video, now I understand a bit more about cultural differences, sometimes we might have to go with a more direct way. A change in mindset makes a happier day!

Thank you very much Sysue for this app.

Totally on point. Example 3 especially hit the nail on the head. A big part of mastering a language is understanding the culture and Susie, you are doing a fantastic job teaching it. 👍👍👍 Keep it up.

戴舒萱越来越美丽，知性，东西合璧。❤

以Example2來說 工作幾年之後 我覺得講得不夠直接就是對方會聽不懂 或是真心認為「你說Maybe就是Maybe」 或是拿著「Maybe」兩個字當令箭 以上三種狀況都會讓工作時間更長…

今天 sue 打扮得特别美！知性，文雅，端庄

覺得跟中文講話直接和講話委婉的差別一樣~ 還有文字是生硬的,和不熟的人溝通在文字上通常會委婉一點,不然比說話時更容易變成,說者無心聽者有意. 但是很熟的人講話或是文字通常都會比較直接. 我自己在使用文字的時候通常會比較委婉,或加上一些展現良好語氣的文字.因為就算是很熟的朋友,有時候冰冷的文字還是很容易讓人誤解. 說話的時候會看個人狀況做調整. 常常遇到講話很直接的人,我也會自動想成是好的方面,不想讓自己有太多負面的壓力和情緒XD

感謝提供英文字幕👍👍👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏

It makes people fell better, actually all people should communicate like this.

我在美國工作口語的話大部份都用第一組, send message 的話才用比較禮藐的第二組以免有誤解。

American English is straight forward and right to the point🎉

今天的妆容好精致，最美的一期！

我想終究是取決於那人本來是否會設身處地、易位思考，就算是中文作為母語的，稍為有點禮貌也不會說「那你想怎樣？」或直接「不。」（除非已經很熟）這明顯是發脾氣的說話。

坦白說，即使是妳介紹的所謂比較委婉的說法，我看後反而覺得更加生厭。他仍然在壓迫對方在他設定的條件下達成要求，只是轉用另一種不真誠的對話方式… 我無法從對話中感覺雙方有合作的誠意. 當然，這或許是因為文化差異構成的認知落差. 唯有花更多的時間和心思去了解對方才能理清。 Susie 帶出了這個有關溝通的問題，無論如何都是一件好事，不然我都不知道我慣用的溝通方式，或許會讓我在英國處處碰壁. Thank you so much☺️

Thanks. As a first language speaker who has had to grow up with diverse ways of learning English it has been so reassuring to be reminded hat softening the language is not a sign of inconfidence in every region of the world!

滿喜歡這集的分享❤ 我現在工作上經常跟非英語系國家的人email，通常都必須非常直接的表達意見。如果問題或是指示太迂迴/polite, 會容易產生誤會😂 I don’t really mind being direct in this case. But you are right, 如果對方是native English speaker, then I think I would expect a bit more consideration in the word choice and tone no matter by text or spoken 😊

純文字訊息才比較需要這樣婉轉 語音訊息跟面對面說話 有語氣音調跟表情，基本不會誤會 面對面還婉轉成這樣 說不定同事背後說假掰 除非對方年紀大到不會用APP 正常聯繫是100%用短訊 而手機打字又比電腦慢所以習慣越簡潔越好 (哪怕用語音輸入，因為很容易有一堆錯字) 於是就會產生影片上面那種問題 (單看訊息的來回彷彿在吵架) 發現會有這種讓人誤解的情況後 我的解決辦法也不是用更婉轉的方法回覆(我就懶) 我選擇用可愛的貼圖貼在回覆底下或上面 或是乾脆就用貼圖直接回覆簡單的yes、no、收到、沒空 閒著的話可能還會找梗圖來回覆 短訊可以想好再輸入 或是一邊輸入一邊思考 輸入完還能檢查有無錯誤再發出去 而收到訊息可以等有空檔再處理 比較有效率 電話打過來不接就錯失訊息 接了一些客套話不可避免又很拖時間 一句話的事情可能要花5分甚至30分 另外打電話講太快出包機率大增 而且會打來的很多都是一些浪費時間的貸款、保險、賣茶葉等推銷詐騙電話

It is interesting as the east Asians' culture (Chinese, Japanese, Korean .etc.) are often referred as indirect communication. I guess it is understandable about trying to be polite and more friendly way to communicate with others. The main reason of these less preferred phasing and sentences are often showed on text books. Thanks Susie of letting us know more daily phasing and sentences that can be adapt to real life conversations.

在台灣也很常會用到委婉的說話，也變成是一種說話習慣，會不知不覺用出來。比如在拜託人做事情時，我們常常會說：「啊不好意思，請問一下，能不能麻煩你⋯（前面這些都是修飾）後面才開始講要請別人做的事情」。等講完需要幫忙的事情後，最後還會加上「真的很不好意思，很謝謝你幫忙，如果有困難，可以隨時跟我說沒關係！」

I work in the UK now and I found this useful, thank you so much! When I was working in HK, I was once taught by a British boss not to say sorry easily (esp. when we didn’t do anything wrong) so it’s interesting for me to see so many people saying sorry here until I realise they don’t mean it or as Susie you said it’s sorry for the situation. 😆 Occasionally, I even use ChatGPT to make my email “more polite in British English”, there is always a few things it changes 😂 I think efficiency is important but it’s certainly no harm to maintain a good/better relationship when we have to work with colleagues all the time. Also, it’s not a nice feeling to be considered rude so I often ask my colleagues to tell me if I say anything offensive. 😊

I'm Taiwanese. I prefer more direct comunication. I do computer programming. I really hope people express directly meaning with why he think so. So I don't need to spend time to guess. As long as commucation is construtive, I think it's not rude to express directly.

Really useful advices for non-native English speakers. There are cultural differences among countries, like in HK, many people tends to put the task done in front of relationship, and press others to help themselves by ordering others instead of raising requests politely. Unfortunately most HK citizens are used to living under high tension, and even waiters in HK restaurants are infamous of being impolite😂, not sure if there is one day HK people will prefer to be more polite

This is great to know. And this is how English is used in working place so that we can all get along. However, as we all know the world is not perfect, sometimes we would like to show strength and affirmation in our sentences to get what we want. Could you make a session on that? Thanks a lot.

好棒的一集，融合文化和實際運用!

主播人很漂亮，中文讲得也很棒！

看过关于高语境和低语境文化（high context culture and low context culture）的解释，wiki上面举的高语境文化国家的例子是中日韩印和南欧国家，而西欧、北欧和美国则是低语境文化，至于英国，感觉更像是两者之间。

Probably that's why identify non verbal language cues make huge impact during conversation, people could be polite with words, hard to hide mood, feels, or facial expressions

喜歡第二種，此外感覺英國委婉的說話風格跟日本很類似

哇聽到舒萱說：I don’t want to的時候，雖然不是我的情境，但下意識也一股火想升起😂😂

😅😅I like British accent but my English not well.😅😅 thank you Susie for an explanation.

Thank you Susie for this wonderful video and the practical tips for us non-native speakers. I have grown a bit more confident of NOT pissing off my neighbors and coworkers 😊

Susie 这期皮肤超好 超漂亮！

Great, this applies in any language and culture. When I was in Iceland, people over there are very direct, something to get used to. I guess it's ok when everyone is expected to be direct and thick skined. Also, younger people are more direct :)

The thing is my husband is super direct but I prefer to be more polite. I often feel like my husband is too aggressive and attacking me during our discussion. However, he never felt it was a problem but just think I’m too sensitive. Thank you so much for this video. I’m going to show him that I’m not the only one.

Pleased and nice english teacher not only tone and conversation.

Haha, love those bloops at the very end😂

今天的妆太精致了。太好看了

OMG Susie, you made me laugh so much! 😅😂it's so true! I am the only foreigner surrounded by a team of British colleagues. I have been living in the uk for over 20 years, but I'm still learning 😊xx

Thank you so much. Very helpful. But non-verbal communication matters too, like the exact words, spoken differently can have different meaning. But the idea is not to be blunt and be polite... and applicable to all languages too.

语言交流看起来好像是技巧问题，其实不是。关键是一个人是否有同理心和秉持起码的善意。足够的生活历练也会提升人的社交感知力，对于没有经历过风雨的人也可从良好的传统家教中学到好东西。一个过于“精明”自私或过于强势无礼的人会得到暂时的好处，世间长了要吃大亏。

That could be one of the reasons why the dutch need to have a translation table for what the British say and what they really mean.

英國人要酸人的時候倒是一點也不委婉。日常生活這種委婉令大家生活非常麻煩，事實更多人不溝通，他們想怎樣就怎樣

想看更多這樣的例子，主管同事是英國人，很有用！ 謝謝🙏🏼

As someone from Hong Kong, I find it much familiar with the second example.

Great session! Thanks a lot for making it. I Worked with Swedish colleagues, they were so direct, and you almost feel a bit confrontational. Didn’t feel very comfortable in some meetings, sometimes you feel almost speechless. But you got used to it after a little while

做一个温和的人

Still, I just like your humble way.

I strongly advertise being direct AND polite. I think people really need to learn that to improve the efficiency and feeling of ease when communicating

Love the British accent. Sophisticated

I by chance bumped into Susie RU-vid videos of 2 years old and I just watched I guess the latest loaded up less than an hour ago and I find by suprise Susie looks now younger and prettier... honestly

I think it is important to be polite when communicating with British locals.

Thanks for your video about how people speak English in a more direct way! This is the way most Asia people speak English, it is hugely because no people from single Asia country speak one language only since they born. However, the fact is different languages have their systems and ways of expression. In order to communicate with others in English, we simply translate our own language into English without looking into how to season it and make it indirect and a polite way when we are going to express it. It makes confusion to native English speakers because we use our way to speak English. I came across a lot of this kind of misunderstandings when I tried to speak English by using Chinese language systems and mentality. The mistake is just as simple as Chinese likes to write from right to left, English likes to write from left to right, we are talking the same story but from a different directions and cross over in one point. We still understand each other but there are feelings of irritation or being offended. The solution to this is to learn English by an English system and mentality! We have to forget what we have in terms of our mother tongue language, and starting a new chapter in a new language, I find there is no other way around. The school curriculum teaches us academic English, but I dont think it is enough to factor in the English culture elements which are essential for daily conversation between people, and helps to express the right rhythm when you need it.

I feel compelled to share with my HK counterparts. British had taught the ppl here a lot but not the skilful manner they speak and socialize each other. I often see ppl arguing aggressively with total bluntness on social platforms. In daily life, we don't smile to each other bec we don't feel good with each other. Behind the language, there is an art of how to cope with and connect with each other, and this is really an art to learn. Thanks for sharing.

i find similarity between the British way and Japanese way. Both value the 'caring about the opponents' feeling during conversation'...

I can definitely see how some non-native-English Chinese speakers may sound too direct at times. I do think though that some Americans can be very direct though. (i.e., New Yorkers) This video shows an etiquette that many people should learn.

The make up this one is perfect💯

I can hear customer assistants having simple and direct conversations during their work in shops. But I think it sounds very polite and sincere to express our concerns in a positive way instead of flaming people because no one wants fights in the workplace.

Im currently working in a government work in Canada . I found it i habe to try the most polite way to say rhe word Or people can complain about you

It’s supposed a best way of communication when you put the kindness relation first than ourself interesting.😊😅

Your english is so very fluent! With that face you are invincible! (Would this be a pass-agg compliment?) =)

Wow, MBA on cultural intelligence? You are going to the ambassador for UK/ China 😁

工程師跟PM之間或是工程師跟工程師之間的對話常常這樣，很直接哈哈

maybe but Would you like I am not make sure Possibly Do you think Sorry All are good words for communication.

Ohhhhh, I really did all the first example. Now people in the office have surrendered to my blunt, direct "insult". I did great surviving 😅

小组的时候 全部是英国人 他们whatsapp讲话就是这样 他们每次说don’t worry if it’s too much effort 一直给我的感觉是爱改不改 或者改不改都无所谓😂 不过知道他们很有礼貌 所以我就没想太多了

Thank you for your video. I always remind myself don't speak to others too directly because I can feel their emotion changed which was caused by my wordings. I believe that I am not used to expressing my ideas considerately because of my language barrier. It could be quite strange to any people if we have used the words that not in accepted standards. Knowing the correct way of expression is very important when we communicate with others.

Great examples. I would suggest that you explain a little on the use of “could” (instead of “can”, and why not) too

So glad that you speak like a Taiwanese and you use traditional Chinese. Happy for you.

I really want to share this to my closely working colleagues, they both speck so rude. Anyway, it’s too much for me working in this environment I’m going to quit it soon, but thanks for your video, it makes me feel satisfied and at least I’m still trying to be a nice person. 😊 btw I’m from HK

在英国工作了五年多，这些例子说的太好了，哈哈哈哈

IMO, British talks really like how Japanese does. Indirect all the way,

Politeness - it matters more on who you are communicating to. Like spicy food, different people have different tolerances. Your example of "maybe" sounds polite, yet it contains incompetent ingredients. Depending on the person, some people use "maybe" to politely answer "no" or "yes." On the other hand, Japanese culture is the politest, yet they have the most aggressive people. In communication, remember - GOOD, FAST & POLITE - pick 2!