Just who exactly were Bud and Barbara Cowsill? The answer depends on who you ask. Watch the documentary, Family Band: The Cowsills Story here: www.amazon.com... Billy Cowsill interview by Joe "Guido" Welsh.
The one brother who went to Nam has the true feelings. He didn’t sugar coat. He wasn’t on Dean Martin. When one sibling is left out, it is devastating.
They did, however, make mention of him in the shows....etc. Brother Richard in the service....blah blah blah. He may have not been in the band, but it 'seems' that he helped roadie somewhat, and Paul mentioned he did some of that as well....and watched the younger 3...prior to and possibly throughout....his entrance into the band. Richard was still featured in the teen magazines, along with the 'band' sometimes.....from what I can recall.
Only abused children can understand this pain and fear. It's a resentment that never goes away completely. I went through the same, but it was both of my parents...
It’s true, even many decades later the resentment remains, even though you may find yourself being carer to that person that caused you so much distress as a kid. You just learn to put that resentment in a special place slightly out of reach of your daily life.
Me too Claudia....there were 9 of us.8 girls, 1 boy. My mother was abusive as hell. Very hard life...Addiction took over many of our lives. 3 of my sisters are gone. Alcoholic liver disease. 😪
Bukowski once said that when a kid gets the crap kicked out of them by their parent, they lose the filter you get.... brutal honesty. This story is so human so American. In the 60s I was just a wee lad but I had a crush on Susan then. I am 60 now, I still have a huge crush on her. Bless you guys and thank you for making such good music for us.
In a lot of the videos, Richard comes off like a jerk but a part of me feels very sorry for him. Can you imagine how it would make you feel to be outcast from a family for no other reason than your father didn't want you there? You can see in this video how profoundly affected he was by it. Physical beatings are bad enough but the emotional abuse is what causes the deepest scars.
Dana James I don’t think he came off as a jerk. He was being honest. His perspective was different. I give all the credit in the world to Louise Palanker for providing the therapy they so badly needed.
IF ANYONE WAS THE JERK IT WAS SUSAN TRYING TO JUSTIFY AND SUGAR COAT THE WHOLE MESS. RICHARD WAS JUST BEING BRUTALLY HONEST AND TELLING IT LIKE IT WAS. PAUL IS ALSO THE PATRON SAINT OF THIS MESS ALSO. HE IS ANOTHER TRUE SPOKESMAN FOR ABUSE WHEN HE SAID FUCK EM BOTH. EVEN BARBARA'S SISTERS TRIED TO SUGAR COAT THE FUCKHEAD WHEN THEY SAID HE TRIED TO PORK EM BUT HE WAS ALWAYS A GENTLEMAN AND NEVER TRIED TO FORCE HIMSELF ON THEM.
These kids were not only talented musicians and singers, they were Academy award-winning actors. How else could they possibly have endured all this pain and disfunction while hiding it from the public so well that their fans never had a clue? God bless them all.
Richard, deserves so much more respect and sympathy than he gets from some of his family members. He clearly got the short end of the stick. He went through hel and then he was sent to another hell. 🙏
His sister is totally obnoxious and I hated the way she dismissed him! We all owe a debt of gratitude to Richard for his service to our country. May he rest in peace!
As a 10-year-old girl in Rhode Island in 1968, The Cowsills were EVERYTHING. Thank you to all the family members for their brutal honesty. I watched the entire film today and had goosebumps for their a cappella version of "The Star-Spangled Banner" at Fenway in 2004. What harmonies. Such talent. 💙🎶💚
@@MORE1500 That is so true! My father broke my spirit. He was mean and controlling and used to beat me with the belt. My self esteem was soooo very low as a teen. Jesus showed me who I really am.
@@louisepalanker, I just watched your documentary a few days ago, and it was both fascinating and heartbreaking. It led me to research more on the Internet, so I appreciate this clip that has more details that didn't make the final film. It's a wonderful those folks have any self-esteem and sense of normalcy. I hope they are in a much healthier, happier place in their lives. Thank you for telling their story.
The only thing about this is the Sound Quality....goes from volume 1 with one person to volume 10 with the next. Had to keep going up and down with my control.
@@louisepalankerthank you for letting us see “Documenting the Cowsills”. Did you get to meet Bill? I’ve become such a fan of his since “Family Band” ❤❤❤
What a shame that even from the grave Bud Cowsill continues to hurt and divide his children. The sins committed by parents are visited upon their children for the rest of their lives.
I saw the Cowsills at the 1970 York, PA fair. They were exceptional. Would have never know of the abusive family environment they survived....Bob, Paul, John & Susan still survive. I really wish that Susan did not have to endure what her father did to her. Thank you Paul for resecuring her.
I enjoy and respect the Cowsills so much!!! it saddens me that any child be abused physically or mentally and emotionally!!! I am so glad the kids have continued to share their God given talents with us! I am sad I never saw Bill or Barry!! as for Richard, I will NEVER understand why he was left out!!! My kids and grandkids KNOW how much I love them!!! I look forward to seeing the Cowsills at Indiana State Fair in August!!! and hope I get the chance to talk and have pictures taken with them again!!! They are so friendly and I Love them!!! And I am so proud they show love for each other!!! see you guys in August!!!!
I feel the most sorry about Richard’s experience. The stories indicate for some reason he had a target on his back from Bud from the time he was born (twin of Bob). Think of what they all might have been if they had grown up in a decent situation.
In one of the interviews with Paul , he says Richard always harassed Susan and that he " clocked that guy " and then he was afraid of him .... Paul was 5'11" at 16 ! and has 'anger issues'. He "hugged " his mom and broke 3 of her ribs !! Richard and Paul were 'outsiders' at first - they weren't in the band started by the oldest brother Bill....they were the 'roadies' ...the oldest brother Bill 'started' the band ... lots of details to the story get left behind
I’m just learning about The Cowsills, and it seems like the father knew he couldn’t control Dick with violence anymore, that Dick would interfere with his control over the family. So he shipped him out to the military-just got rid of any threat to his dominance.
parents can make or break their children...it is so important to be a fair loving parent. I am not the greatest father, but I strive and all my children still love me.
I can relate to their situation. I grew up with an emotionally and physically abusive father and a mother who didn’t protect us from him. Both of my parents have passed on and I still struggle with unresolved issues with them.
holly, i too was born in 1958. like you, i had a very abusive father...physically, mentally, emotionally, my mother didnt protect us either and i too have deep deep scares and i struggle with issues to this day. my dad has since passed but the pain never went away
I'm so sorry. The same here. If it hadn't been for my wonderful grandparents I don't know how I would have turned out or my siblings either. I jumped ship when I got out of high school and never went back...once I was married I stayed away from my parents for over 30 years. My kids never knew them, it was better that way & I've never regretted that.
Richard said it best at the end, "We all have our stories." In any family, each person stories are a little different, similar, but different. Some of the greatest peace happens when we finally share our stories with others. Bless them all for surviving the best they could.
@@theirishgirl6809 I agree! I grew up in a similar situation, the oldest of 6 kids and I really identify with the Cowsill family's story. Each has a different story, the same as we in my family do....Family dysfunction such as this can either make you stronger or bring you to your knees...In my case it made me stronger & I can go through hell and never smell like smoke....I'm sure the surviving Cowsills can say the same thing.
What a wonderful film this was! I have zero respect for their mother, who didn’t protect them from their abusive dad. As one of them said, they all raised each other. Love to them!
@@snikkerr1949 listen carefully to what Paul said about both of the parents...he stated both of them never instilled any positivity or happiness into them. The mother was probably just as cold and controlling, I mean, the very fact she was in the group seemed a bit weird to me, she looked ridiculous.
That Cowsill Mom had a great transitional musical talent but like many battered women [eg.. my own] she was powerless when big Daddy came home after work and pulled out the dukes.
This account just makes me appreciate the accomplishments of these young artists even more than I did in those days.My love and regards to all of them here and gone.
There are 7 independent stories, as Bob Cowsill rightly stated. You can see how each was affected differently, and although I am fascinated seeing the various feelings about Bud and Barbara, there is a sadness. Yet, I feel optimism that some seem to have survived the sexual, emotional and physical abuse and lived successful lives. Thank you, Cowsills, for sharing your life experiences, and hopefully helping others survive a severely traumatic childhood.
I've learned this is typical in dysfunctional families. The abusers have to divide everyone and conquer them individually (triangulation) in order to maintain power and control.
As I learn more of the Cowsills' story, I realize that there are indeed seven different stories, all with a common thread of physical and emotional violence and fear. For instance, I am not at all surprised that Richard and Paul were not willing to sugar coat their parents at all. Richard was shut out of the family by his parents and shipped off to the hellhole that was Vietnam, and Paul essentially raised Susan through her teenage years after her mom bailed on her when she needed her most.
I see a common thread with family groups from that era. Same with Jackson 5. Same with Carpenters and we all know what happened to Karen. Not an easy life at such a young age.
Paul is awesome and spot on. When in these situations it breaks your heart to see your siblings abused, but there’s also self preservation that takes place, so you keep to yourself to stay safe and to maintain a semblance of self sanity, and you tend to say nothing. You also lack the adult life skills to deal with the craziness because you’re not an adult, you’re a child.
These are deeply damaged kids. I say "kids", because they are still in the darkness of their childhoods. Who suffered the most is a point of competition for some of them. That show me there is a lot more healing to be done still. My kids were raised in an abusive home. My deepest regret in life is the father I chose for them, and my inability to escape with them from his rage.
These are not children at all. These are adults, with adult thoughts, adult perspectives, and adult lives. They have crafted a life beyond their childhood and that is something they can be proud of. Your kids will have to craft adult lives too.
Sorry, sweet girl, love doesn't abuse. Alcoholics and druggies can't love, usually in too much pain themselves, So sorry your family went through that and look at the beauty you all created for the world to enjoy, God bless you all.
Louise, thank you for letting me rediscover the Cowsills after so many years. They have brought so much beauty and music to so many. As well as being tremendously talented, they are truly wonderful people. One of my biggest fears is that life's trials will make me a bitter person, the Cowsills give me hope.
I could listen to them talk forever about their problems. I love how they are all so honest about their feelings about their parents. The Cowsill family are my hero’s because they were able sit down and settle arguments and hurt. Most families can’t do that and so families grew apart but the Cowsills stayed a family no matter what. I love Bill Bob Barry Richard Paul Susan and John .
@@louisepalankerHi Louise just found out there was a 7 part documentary series in Canada by Joel Stewart, where one episode had Billy on it! I loved your documentary so much … hoping I can find more Cowsill gold. Any ideas?
All of these people are shell shocked and wounded as any vietnam vets. I feel so sorry for their pain and also sad for what could have been. These people were genuine talents and could have continued to make hits and live a life of luxury. I don't think I ever really knew of the Cowsills until this morning when I stumbled on a video of one of their songs and noticed before I knew the fact that they resembled the Partridge family.
One wants to say that as a wish, from some really very bad situations at least comes some good: the beautiful harmonised, exuberant sounding music of The Cowsills is exactly that ~ but only superficially. The hurt, anxiety and dread of having to endure indifference and abuse respectively from their parents must've been hell - yet they've somehow survived - God continues Blessing them for that and their emotional resilience. I LOVE their latest album. R.I.P Billy & Barry.
I truly had no idea what was happening "behind the scene" with these folks way back then. I envied them to no end (I was 12 in 1968) and always kept my eyes on Susan.........In my opinion, she's a gorgeous woman today. I'm happy for this family, because they DO talk with each other. They're still here and that speaks to both their talent and their character today. And, it's beyond obvious that they love each other very much.
If you know, you know. Both my parents were abusive and my only escape was the music I heard via my big sisters. I started playing instruments as a way of intensely distracting myself from the chaos and uncertainty surrounding my shitty upbringing. Thank God for a great therapist and positive affirmation videos here on RU-vid. To remaining Cowsills,my heart goes out to you all. Thank you for some fantastic songs!
I hear you all,I remember,in the 60s,getting beat up by my own family members,old man drunk lady's man,never gave a shit about us,love your music,never stop playing
It breaks my heart that they had to go through this bad stuff. If you have a chance to see them you will not be diappointed. I have come to love this family. They are so nice and kind. I have come to adore Susan because of her enormous heart, passion for singing, her compassion and the first time I heard them speak of the terrible stuff it hit me something terribly. Some people emphasize the horrible things and do not speak of the good things that make them special. They will always have a special place in my heart. Mrs. Louise Palanker knew there was a story that needed to be told and she did an excellent job making this documentary. They are truly a great family and you know they love each other very much!!! Thanks Louise for making this!😊
I love The Cowsills, but how do you hit the"LIKE" button when Bud is involved. Still, I have to, since this is important information. I'm the same age as John, and grew up listening to The Cowsills and seeing them in Tiger Beat. They're all excellent musicians - a fact that's often overlooked, as they're discounted as a bubblegum pop act, but they knock my socks off with their harmonising, and I think John is a most outstanding drummer. There's a video of Flower Girl (Sic) live - where he's only 10 and playing and singing so very well.Thanks for posting - it's a sad story but the surviving Cowsills are a story of redemption.
I was 13 when I met Barbara Cowsill in 1966 in a hotel lobby where we were staying in L.A., Didn't know who she was until she told me, She was really pretty, and I went to her room .. My first real woman ever. What a real experience! No lies here.
Tony Robbins was quoted one time, in response to someone’s telling him that he grew up in a dysfunctional family, as saying, “Show me a _functional_ family.” I think that’s true, as we all bear scars from our formative years, but the Cowsills were obviously several steps beyond what most people would call “dysfunctional.” Still, I wonder how much the Cowsill kids would have sought refuge in music if they hadn’t _needed_ it to cope with the horrors they faced otherwise. We all wish they’d had more hits and become rich from them, but the saddest part is the bitter memories they all had from what _should_ have been the greatest time of their lives.
It's easier to deal with a total jerk than someone who is nice one minute and nasty the next. Each kid will have their own perspective because the older kids usually see the parent/marriage at a better place than the younger ones do. By the time the young ones grow up everything is in chaos. God Bless you all and thankfully you had the music and you gave us all a lot - Thank you. Be well. Love yourself. BIG HUGS
THANKS for your interesting prospective regarding "OLDEST/YOUNGEST SIBLING & (INNER-)FAMILY ABUSE/Turmoil": Me being the youngest sibling, & coming from a "lack of self-esteem" prospective, & being damaged from a Dad who didn't/could give/provide functionally love properly, along with being verbally abusive, with his hard, lack of being functionally loved upbringing, and having a mom like Mrs. Cowsil who also accepted/received the abuse, and dieing of Cancer when i was 14, I see and understand, why the oldest sibling(s) usually have/has the most self-esteem (and where it usually goes down from there, from each sibling). My current theory is that the oldest child, is NEW (for the parents), and usually gets most attention, etc., thus more functional giving love, thus more self-esteem . But I guess, both prospectives are shades of same thing, where the oldest got more love/attention , and saw/felt/got 'more' functional love VS dysfunctional (and unlike the later siblings) was more mature, when ones life was evolving during the chaos life cycle. My beloved Aunt, eventually stepped up/into our lives(family circle) to help some, and supply some real functional love (or at least memories of it, but unfortunately, it too late to change the foundation(s). A pleas, to the-dysfunctional, to look within and heal yourselves AND a plea to the health/good people: NOT TO LOOK-AWAY AND BE SILENT (like the new u.s.a terrorism message of today,, See something Say/DO something)! To the prejudices/abuses among us. Thanks. from never married, inner-child that still has a way to go/grow (at 64) .
I agree. I've seen dynamics change as children are born, whether the family is healthy, middling, or abusive/dysfunctional. Depending on the age spread among the children and the number of children, there are usually widely different experiences. I've seen families with 20 years or more difference between oldest and youngest. The oldest might say dad was tough but fair, the middle children might recall abuse that the older ones deny, and the youngest barely remember seeing their older siblings get beatings, if they remember at all. By the time the younger ones come along the parents might have mellowed some, maybe dote on the littlest ones, and/or maybe the older children step in to take care of the little ones, keeping them from exposure to the risk of abuse. I've heard from some old-timers about how they brought younger siblings, or the siblings-in-law, to stay with them when they married and had children, telling the parents they needed the help, when really it was to give protection. Girls could help with the children, boys could help with the chores, and it wouldn't be questioned either way. Then when the younger ones spent time with their parents, they didn't experience abuse. They might have even experienced loving attention.
Who would know the strife behind the scenes?! The mom perhaps guided each to thier natural music talents, while feeling trapped or overwhelmed. A different time!
Not even close my friend. In 2019, with all our modern technology, increased education, a million people talking about their horrible child abuse in public so that hopefully we can learn from it and do better - RIGHT THIS MINUTE a million children on this planet are being abused in the exact same way the Cowsills were. And a dumb mother is sitting there letting it happen. Mothers allowing their children to be abused doesn't only happen in families where the mother "isn't able to leave", i.e. because she has no ability to make a living. My horrible childhood happened in the 70s and 80s and even tho it was a while ago, it was a liberated era and my mother was a professional, my dad was working class. She made three times what my father ever did. We could've left anytime. But we didn't - cuz she was just as fucked up as he was. And cared more about keeping her man than defending her kids - PERIOD. Call it Battered Woman's Syndrome - call it whatever you want, just know that in an abusive family, it takes two to tango. One is abusing, and the other is helping them get away with it. BOTH ARE EQUALLY GUILTY OF CHILD ABUSE.
Rockin Ed The Osmonds' father was borderline abusive too, from what I've read. He didn't beat them for no reason like the Cowsills, and being a Mormon he never drank, but he did physically beat the boys if they did something that he felt was wrong - like 9-year-old Donny on tour with his brothers in Sweden, who wrote a letter to his mother who stayed home, begging her to come get him. A homesick little boy isn't the same as a misbehaving little boy, but Donny was physically punished for that. But their father was a real stickler for corporal punishment, apparently taking objects to his children to "punish" them, which constitutes abuse.
To me this makes me sick that there are certain parents that would abuse their children in a way. I'm glad that the children turned out alright and Their dad is a total asshole.
@@StrawberrySoju_1 i think that beating hurt more emotionally than physical poor Donnie i had forgot that but they made peace before the father died religions can also make you abusive all the rules and shit
Makes me cry listening to this beautiful family that could sing w/angelic voices & turn around to only be treated by a jerk that says he's their dad. HE WAS NOT a dad. Those kids & mom could have gone so far in their lives with a great amount of money & a successful future. To come home to all their money being gone is the worst part of all this.
These children are so far from being passive I love this story. I wish we all could be so punctual together as human beings. It took decades for them to understand what it was all about but they pushed through. Could you Imagine the pressure? I can and I was never famous. God bless these kids who grew up learning their own lives. I will serve them greatly in The Eyes of God.
This evil, violent father, plus the Beach Boys dad? Was all Sunshine Pop created through family misery? And so sorry for the children. They seem remarkably together, with-it, and loving in this clip.
Well, the Osmond family pulled it off. I had a chance to hang w/ Marie for an afternoon in the early 90's and she was really cool. My niece performed w/ Donny on B'way during Joseph and he was stable and generous. There was a sense of discipline in the family growing up- duh, music requires it; hell, any excellence requires it, right? But it was more of a team effort; I think b/c of the 'Pioneer Spirit' the LDS church has maybe? IDK, but Marie did say that they all pulled together, uplifting any member who was down and that it was hardest on Donny b/c he was the 'star of the show' in the 60's/early 70's. BUT he didn't get within a mile of being a prima donna. Looking at the mega-stardom of Billie Eilish today...she's only 19 now and has been a vet for at least 3 years, right? Her family is rock solid. I hope that family dynamics that were under the Jacksons/Cowsills/Wilsons of the Beach Boys are a lot more rare in N America; you ain't gonna get away w/ that shit nowadays as easily.
This is an AMAZING and well documented story, WOW 🤯 Thank God for Mom - Barbara. Such a sad story. INCREDIBLE. Thankfully the kids were able to have somewhat normal lives after the torment they put up with from their so called father. I'm sorry but after hearing this the old man was a PIECE of CRAP. My uncle was the same way so this shit happened a lot back in the 60's and 70's. Thankfully kids are more protected today 🤗
I totally relate. Completely. I grew up with ritualistic beatings for stupid little crimes like not being home exactly at four thirty for dinner,,,,,or walking down the wrong streets on my way home from school,,,,or for just looking at my dad wrong. He had the big santa claus belt hanging on the wall,,,,,and when it came down it was for pain. My mom didn't protect me,,,in fact,,,she was trained to turn me in for these minor infractions. There were no child protective services,,,,,I went to school unable to sit down because my ass was bloody and swollen from the beatings,,,,and no one questioned the bruises on the rest of my body,,,,,it WAS the times. As for forgiveness,,,,,that is pure bunk. I saw counselors and therapists throughout my life and only after a good one convinced me that it was OKAY to hate your own parents,,,,,was I able to process it,,,move on,,,and find happiness in my own life. You're allowed to be mad,,,,you're allowed to hate,,,,,and when you realize this and do it in a constructive way,,,you CAN move on and have a normal life. Too bad most people just grow up and do it to their own kids and keep the cycle going. As for this poor family,,,,,I hope they found some happiness in bringing joy to others,,,,I loved listening to them sing.
William Smith I can relate William. I grew up in a very similar home. I was the youngest of four kids which made me the family whipping boy. My dad was an very angry man who despised me. I recall the look at me on his face which was one of complete disgust. My mom was a religious nut job who felt you were not a good Chrstian unless you were 100% miserable and guilt ridden. Thrown into the mix was a sociopathic brother who was a true sadist and enjoyed physically, mentally, and emotionally abusing me. All three of these people are dead and gone and yes, I still hate them. I could never grasp the concept of forgiveness because I felt that wiped the slate clean for them. Very few people know my background but one regret I do have is never having kids of my own. The reason was my fear that I would end up treating them like my parents treated me.
Thank you, Louise for publishing this unseen footage after all these years. Yet another, far uglier layer is revealed of our beloved Cowsills' true history. I can only hope that there is/was some catharsis for them in their brutal honesty. As naive young fans of this family, we could never in our wildest dreams imagined the hidden horrors they lived through. I'm really curious how this documentary evolved. I assume that you hadn't originally intended to open such a can of worms? No wonder it took so many years to come to fruition. The results were worth the wait...it's brilliant, poignant and brings their unique story full circle.
It's a miracle anyone of these Cowsill kids didn't turn out far worse than they did. In an era of famous rock & roll performers overdosing on drugs. They have each other to talk to, vent anger, & also to share happy memories.
Louise, What an awesome look into their lives 💔. Heartbreaking. The abuse some of these great and talented people went through is almost beyond belief, except it's true. I love the way you put this all together. You've done a wonderful job! Thank you, Thank You, Thank You.
I can relate to their story as when shit was going down in our house I'd go to the basement, put the headphones on and play my drums for hours. It was a great release when things got rough and has served me well throughout my life.
Poor Paul needs some serious psychological help. Take this from someone who lived in extremely similar surroundings. Our mom was scared to death to protect us and our step dad was fresh out of the marines, stuck with three kids when he married my mom in 1957- I being the youngest born in 1955, then they had two more kids together making 5 kids. The good thing. He didn't drink, and never had an alcohol problem or a womanizing problem, he was dedicated to my mother, but she was afraid to stick up for us when we each got a little older. I was the oldest son and took the brunt of ridicule, and for years, I carried around what Paul is carrying around with him, but I got help later on and found out that carrying around hatred and anger like that will completely destroy you if you do not nip it in the ... (I won't say the word ). Susan...you have totally got it together. So does Bob, although I sense a lot of sadness in Bob over all of what is coming to the surface when they're together. Poor Barry drowned his sorrows in alcohol, and that is as tragic as his terribly tragic death of being killed by Hurricane Katrina. And then there's Bill. How tragic it is that he suffered with all of these health problems that ended up taking his life. A very gifted man with a beautiful voice with natural vibrato and smooth as satin. The Cowsills were a HUGE part of my life as a musician when I first began playing music (drums). They were my heroes, and were to me what the Beatles were to others. I was 12 when they released their debut album--and they were **IT** for me. I wore out the 45 of The Rain... and the B side, River Blue, as well. I followed them till they broke up the band in 1970. :( It's really very sad to learn all this stuff was going on in their home. Watching this film was extremely Heartbreaking. Heartbreaking. And I have to agree with Susan and Bob. I think it's Bob and Susan who have tried to pick up the pieces. And finally, I became very emotional with the last thing said, by Bob, regarding Christmas and music. Our mom always made certain we had a very special Christmas and if it weren't for my mother, I would have never known was music was all about. I'm 63 now, lost my mother January 3, 2016, and my dad 7 weeks later. I'm not trying compare me with what the Cowsills kids went through, it's just that I can identify with two of them. Bob, Paul and Susan, but mostly Bob and Susan. I just remember feeling about my dad the way he did about Bud, but I never hated my mother because she was living in her own form of hell just like the rest of us kids were. I wouldn't be the drummer I am today, had I not had the mom I had. Sorry to have rattled on here. I would give anything to meet Bob, Susan John and Paul.
+Steve Barber I respectfully disagree with your assessment of Paul. Have you seen his other you tube interview? Yes he's angry, but it's *righteous* anger! He has obviously done A LOT of inner soul searching. He was, imo, very self effacing actually, with a huge amount of compassion in him for the other members of his family ( witness his pain over his brother Bob's beatings or Susan's life changing epiphany over her mom's response following her father's attempted molestation) There seems to be a movement to forgive what is often just plain unforgivable behavior. In the other interview, Paul talks of his love of nature (set landscaper), his love of his job, one sees the obvious love he has of his dogs and the respect he has for his wife and-perhaps most importantly- he talks about the responsibility of parenthood and the love he feels and EXPRESSES toward his children. That is not carrying around internalized anger. That is someone who's been through it and come out on the other side. I think Paul showed a lot of wisdom. I don't mean to downplay what therapy has done for you. (It's done an h of a lot for me..also a 1955er :-0) So many people-particularly church raised women- are told to forgive "for their own good" without being allowed to see..really see.. the whole picture. One has to be able to truly feel the anger (to have a sense of self that sees itself worthy of respect and love) before one can truly forgive..Perhaps I'm thinking of myself here. I was able to forgive the unforgivable early on..but that was because I was "raised" to see the value of the dominant one as opposed to myself. The hardest part was unearthing that self that NEEDED to feel the anger first. Again, this may not apply to you. Many may feel very uncomfortable about the anger Paul expresses about his parents. But I see someone who calls a spade a spade and says "the buck stops here" I see someone who has come out on the other side with love for his family and respect for himself. I don't see "poor Paul". I see someone who refuses to whitewash a perpetrator (s)
Also, it was up to Paul ,growing up, to pick up the pieces. He, by his own admission, took care of the last 3 siblings. He was the one to whom Susan went for protection from her father. He was the one always "washing the dishes". He was the child who managed to step up to the plate when the parents were playing out their co-dependent relationship and drinking, smoking.. even, if relative is to be believed, drugging.
@@bluebirds4me Hi bluebirds4me. Thanks ever so much for your comment. It's heartfelt, and great advice. I will defintely watch Paul's other interviews. Thanks for pointing me to them. :^)
Beatles Girl said, "It's amazing they turned out as well as they did ~ sad how it's still so painful & raw for Paul ~ he's a good guy" Actually, it is amazing to realize that these monster parents did such damage that the Cowsill kids with their enormous talent were not even bigger successes for a much longer time. The Cowsill kids could have been a big explosion, instead of a short pretty sparkle. It is sad to see how hurt they are decades later as adults. The scars have gotten thicker, but they didn't heal.
Rick Daly says; 1950 for me and my sister ! same shit Father , but he's still alive ! never one " I'm sorry " , Love the Cowsills my whole life , their songs made us happy ! .................... my opinion is Alcohol is the culprit for many , many problems !
The Jackson's had a similar family experience. Both are who they are because of that. I admire both the Cowsill's and the Jackson's for how they managed to cope with it. Lot's of kids grow up in similar situations, and don't find success as a result of that.
That is really messed up to have a dad like that . It seems like this happens a lot to Family bands back then . I remember hearing about the Jacksons when there young . There dad was a real bastard . Parents wanted the best for there kids , but they did not know how to handle the pressure so they would take out there frustration on the kids . Drugs and alcohol were and still are the problem with dealing every day pressure in life . I'm so sorry you had to go through the pain that your dad inflicted on all of you . Take care of your self's .
If that was today, the father would be in prison. And what would happen there, he would deserve! Sorry they has to live that way. But it looks like as siblings, it kept them closer, or am I missing something. At least some if them.
From all of the horrors that this family went thru, they did bring beautiful pop (hits) music to the world that will be played thru all time. Their hits were genius.
I, too, had an abusive father, and other abusers in my life. And I can tell his daughter definitely, "yes, some people are born evil." Stop making excuses for your evil father. People who intentionally hurt others, especially children, do NOT know how to love.
Armida Zepeda its the only protection she has like a child's blanket or favorite toy she is still stuck in childhood in some ways she sees it as she did then well he was not all bad other things caused him to do that I was bad or he drank least that is my view of how she feels i do agree people are not born evil or bad its a choice
@@aprildannettegosa5381 It doesn’t seem like her father’s drunken aggression wasn’t aimed at her very often. The older kids saw it more because they were around the father more.
Are you sure we aren't related? I think my dad and Bob Cowsill are brothers. Most of what they are saying about both of their parents is nearly a mirror to my family experiance, sans talent and the adult children being together. There were six of us, 5 girls, 1 boy. He was our stepfather, at least my stepfather. Two were his. He terrorized us. Bully pushed, shoved, screamed. There is one of us that thinks we all had the same experience. The rest of us have completely different memories and experiences even though we all lived in the same house, ate dinner together, etc. No talking, walked on eggshells. You never knew when he was going to explode or at who but some of us received more hell than the rest, like the one brother explaining how because wasn't in the band he could be punched in the face. We he was sober he was angry we he was drunk he was angry is irrationality and by God you better move when he yelled move and you better come when he yells come. I still wake up screaming in the night and I'm much closer to the grave than the cradle, yeah "it was every man for himself" "What happens in the house stays in the house" Did everything to turn us against each other and that worked too. Mother did the smoking in the corner during crap. The drunkin sex attempts, yeah that was there too. I may come back and delete this. Not sure if this was cathartic or not.
Your experiences were shared by many. And when it's every child for him or herself, yes, memories will vary. Also, what one chooses to remember may vary. It's so destructive to raise children in this hell. I am so sorry for you.
I feel for you. Don't delete, many people experienced the same, and you sharing your story helps. Put on some music, and be strong and happy, and have a great week.
He was not naturally drawn to music and additionally his father told him that he could not sing. A fuller version of the story is in the film which you'll see linked to in the description for this video.
I know what it’s like to grow up with a raging, unstable parent. In my case, it was my mother. I still suffer greatly from that abuse, even though I now try to take care of her the best I can in her old age. My dad was emotionally distant, unable to teach me about life. I had three sisters and no brothers, and maleness in my family was and is considered evil. I know I will never fully break out of the cell of the scars of my youth, but sometimes I can mentally escape for a while. I have horrible, painful digestive issues. But the nice part of my story is that late in life I married a beautiful woman, beautiful inside and out. She tries so hard to take care of me, and I try so hard to take care of her. The scars of abuse are so deep and inescapable. Parents, there’s nothing wrong with discipline, but never do it out of rage. Delay till you cool down and do it out of love and a sense of what is best for your children. Parental rage is so awfully damaging to children. The echoes of your rage last forever.
I have empathy for that mother. That was a different generation. She was probably hammered most of the time, and mentally controlled by her husband. That’s sort of the vibe I got from that documentary. Easily one of the most depressing music documentaries I’ve ever seen. That poor family is loaded with trauma.
Also my own piano Mom and piano/singer 'me' had a similar Dad .That was normal life in East End Vancouver. That Cowsill bunch did better than most. With a few production $$ this squabble would be a hit on Netflix!
I never knew anything about the Cowsills other than loving their songs. Now that I'm retired, I'm learning about all my favorite singers and groups and reliving the music on RU-vid. It's been quite a revelation.
Michele, I still work but I love to learn about the dynamics in large families, like the Cowsills(that I NEVER heard of until a few years ago!) And the Osmonds, De Francos..
@Eziekle Crafts Yes. Sadly, the Fundamentalist evangelicals are bound and determined to bring back "them good ole days of zealous patriarchal rule" with the blessing of this misogynistic administration.
I agree 100 percent with Richard and Paul. The mofo father gave Richard the scapegoat role. When someone punishes you that much you see their eyes, and you see their evil heart. Richard lashed out at the other kids because he had a profound feeling of being unloved. It's the classic narcissistic manipulation, create a scapegoat, isolate him, deprive him from being a part of the group, and watch him lash out until everyone rejects him. To do that to your own child is pure evil. Richard is absolutely right in that statement. He was also right in his retort to Susan -- No excuse. I give him a lot of credit for struggling to recover, and mend his relationship with his siblings. Paul"s comment that his mother was in cahoots is spot on. My mother was the same, a passive "picture on the wall," a coward. How could they just sit there and watch that mofo s.o.b. hurt their babies? I'll never understand that. I had a shitty father too. God bless the Cowsill kids. That evil man couldn't kill the joyous light in those kids. Their talent and their love for each other gives me hope, and shines a light on my path.
This little documentary video has prepared me to be a good dad to my future wife and kids. I know sometimes kids need discipline I know because I was a kid once. But they need it to certain extent. Most of it is love and attention. I will give it to them all. The Cowsills I will always love them and cherish their music..
I remember growing up listening to the Cowsills and I always thought that these kids had it easy!!!..BOY!!! WAS I WRONG!!!!!!!!!!..This vid really opened my eyes to the sad life these kids had to deal with and the emotional scars that they have to live with all these years!!! Very sad! GOD Bless them and their families......
You know, because of their dad ... it pushed them to music because you can hear it in their voices, it was their 'escape'. talk about kids? but once the music started they did a transition and I loved the harmonies, the comedy within the the lyrics, the blend... nothing like the Cowsills.. Blessings to you all guys and thanks for the memories
